Invaders from Mars (1986)

Episode 140, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello, and welcome to another episode of 2 Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: There’s a fine line sometimes between horror and sci fi. Usually, the 2 kind of overlap quite a bit, especially when you’re dealing with aliens. This is Invaders from Mars, the 1986 version directed by Tobe Hooper, who we lost recently. I think we’ve done a couple of his other films. Uh-huh. Right? We did Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. I think we did the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre as well. Yeah. He’s done some well. I guess he didn’t really do poltergeist, but we all thought he did at one point. You know, he hasn’t had the most success of his career in his career, sadly. And, 1986’s Invaders From Mars was really no exception. When this movie came out, it was rated PG. It’s clearly aimed at kids, or families, at least. It’s l don’t know. You know, it’s a sci fi movie, but it seems to be considerably tongue in cheek throughout. But it has a very simple story and it’s a very touching story and it’s a story that I really enjoy. Now, I saw this movie with my dad growing up. My father really got me into 19 fifties sci fi old 19 fifties sci fi b movies when I was growing up. So I watched a lot these old black and white cheesy sci fi films, Plan 9 from outer space, you know, the original invaders from Mars, the original invaders are the Todd snatchers, and all these things. And some of them are really quite good and some of them are pretty lousy. I’m pretty sure that I saw the original Invaders from Mars from 1953 before I even saw this one. But I’m also pretty sure that not long after 1986, my dad and I sat down and rented and watched this. And I had pretty good feelings about it as a kid. My memories of this movie were that it was terrifying, to be quite honest. But, I didn’t really, honestly remember too much about it. There were certain scenes that lingered in my mind, but ultimately, most of the movie was a bit of a blur to me. So I was really happy to come and revisit this this movie, this week. Craig, do you have any history with this film at all?

Craig: No. You know, I thought that I had never seen it and in watching it again, I think that I must have because some of the scenes were very familiar to me, but I didn’t remember much of it. So I don’t know if I saw it when I was a kid, and I just don’t remember, or if I saw it in as an adult, and it just wasn’t memorable enough for me to really have any strong memories of it. But I love horror movies for kids. I absolutely love them. Some of them are some of my favorite movies. The the one that always comes to mind, which I can’t believe that we’re 3 years into doing this podcast and we still haven’t talked about is The Gate. Oh, yeah. But there are lots of other movies, and a lot of them come from the eighties, as this one does. You know, again, I’m gonna be nostalgic about this, and and I get it those of you who didn’t grow up in the eighties like Todd and I did, but it just doesn’t seem like they make movies like this anymore. Movies that are, you know, really pretty legitimately scary and from kids’ perspectives and and that are kind of honest. Like, the kids and the adults in this movie swear. Now, like, it’s rated PG, so, you know, it’s not like it’s excessive swearing. But, even in the opening scenes of this movie when the the main character, David, the kid, and his dad, they’re out laying and watching a meteor shower. Oh, that’s a bright one. Woah. Fireball.

Clip: Hey, look. There’s Mars. Where? Where is this? Well, it’s pretty close. Except the perihelion. Only 30,000,000 miles from Earth. Oh, only 30,000,000? Well, no wonder it looks so close. Smartass. Smartass. Hey, look. Here they come. Yeah. Where did they see them last? Yeah. This should be the heaviest shower this year. Holy shit. Jesus. That’s right. That one’s not gonna vaporize. It’s gotta make it through the atmosphere.

Craig: Wow. It’s a hell of a tale. It’s it’s nothing profane. It’s nothing obscene, but it feels very true to life.

Todd: Yeah.

Craig: And you just don’t really see that much in horror movies anymore, and I kind of miss it. I think that Stranger Things, you know, the guys, the Duffer Brothers who are behind that, I think that they are nostalgic for the same kind of things that I am. So I feel like they’re trying to do that with their show. I love that show. I love that show. So it’s not that you can’t find this type of stuff at all anymore, but it just doesn’t seem as common. And then I find that to be a little bit unfortunate. But, ultimately, this movie, I don’t think that it’s great, but there are things about it that I really like, and there are some amazing people in it. There’s definitely some cool stuff to be taken away from it and to talk about. So I’m looking forward to talking about it with you.

Todd: It’s so funny that you both of us say that we we kinda remember, but we kinda don’t. That’s usually never a very good sign, you know? -Right. Right. -As a whole, the movie Kind of like what you said. I feel like, as a whole, the movie doesn’t work really well, although I think it probably works pretty well for kids. And and, again, I think that’s the intended audience. But there are some really iconic scenes in here that are standout. And, honestly, it’s it’s really quite a shame that the movie didn’t do as well. Not because it deserved to, but because of what went into this film. This was a Golan and Globus production at Canon Films. They’re notorious, 2 guys from Israel. I think we’ve talked about them before, maybe even when we were talking about Texas Chainsaw Massacre too. But these guys just were able to get money from who knows where and pump Todd, 1,000,000 and 1,000,000 of dollars into movies. And a lot of movies were made by them. Most of them were terrible. Some of them many of them were just so terrible they were fun. And a lot of them some of them broke through, you know, and became good. I even watched, Over the Top. Have you heard of that one with Sylvester Stallone?

Craig: Yeah. Duh.

Todd: That one gets a a bit of a a bad rep, but I watched it the other day, and I actually thought that was kind of a sweet movie.

Craig: It is a sweet movie. Yeah. Sorry. I was just gonna, you know, wax nostalgic about that movie. I mean, come on. Sylvester Stallone and, you know, reconnecting with his son through arm wrestling. I mean, come on.

Clip: Right.

Todd: Cross country journey. Like, just a lot they were able to attract a lot of talent with all the money that they put in. And this movie has a ton of talent in it. You’ve got Toby Oh, my gosh.

Craig: You’ve got a Karen Black in here. I love Karen Black. And it’s so funny. Okay. So here’s my biggest issue with the movie. They’ve got all these great people and, you know, from a cinematic perspective, it’s it’s well done. It’s well put together. You’ve got special effects by Stan Winston who’s amazing.

Todd: Billion things since then doing visual effects.

Craig: And Louise Fletcher, you know, Nurse Ratchet. I mean, there are some amazing actors and and and people behind the scenes in this movie. And I really, really enjoyed seeing all of them. Yeah. And and the roles, you know, for the actors, the roles that they played were fun just for whatever reason. And I don’t know if it’s direction or if they were in a hurry or what, but frankly, and I apologize to those of you who love this movie, the acting is really pretty bad in this movie. Even even from actors and actresses that have put in

Clip: really good performances elsewhere, like like Karen Black. I don’t know that I would

Craig: ever go so far trilogy of terror, which has become a cult classic. She was in either House of a 1000 Corpses or The Devil’s Rejects. I think it was House of a 1000 Corpses because I think after that, they had to they had to recast her because her demands were too high or whatever. Then Louise Fletcher has done some amazing I mean, nurse Ratchet, I mean, that is such an

Clip: iconic role, and and that’s who you think about when you

Craig: think of that original film adaptation of flowers in the attic. She was the the original film adaptation of Flowers in the Attic. She was the grandmother. She was horrifying in that movie. So and and so you’ve got some really strong actors here, but for whatever reason, the acting just doesn’t come across very well. No.

Todd: And I think some of it might be the writing. Dan O’Bannon is the the writer on this, and Dan O’Bannon has also done quite a few things. If you look at connections, Dan O’Bannon did, the script for the original Alien. He did this well, he he did the script for Dark Todd with John Carpenter, which kinda set him off. But, you know, we we watched Return of the Living Dead, and I think I think we were a little mixed on that. I really liked it. I think you thought it was kinda stupid. But, you know, they did Lifeforce and he did the the screenplay for Total Recall. I mean, this is a pretty talented guy and I think that maybe the intent behind his script was not carried out, or maybe just they didn’t know what to do with it. Because, ultimately, there’s just a lot wrong here.

Craig: Well, I’ll tell you one of the things that’s wrong with it is it’s too long. Yeah.

Todd: Yeah.

Craig: At an hour and 40 minutes, it’s too long. They could have easily shaved off 20 minutes because it’s a really simple story when it comes right down to it. And sadly, I wasn’t bored, and I did enjoy the movie. But I just I kept moving, you know, my mouse on the computer screen to see how much of it was left. Like

Todd: Yeah. It’s on. It it does. It goes for so long. And maybe as a kid, I had a patience for this. But I, may I I was checking my watch too and I was half falling asleep sometimes. Not not that there isn’t stuff happening all the time. You know, not that the story doesn’t move. It just doesn’t move fast enough or it

Craig: It lingers too long on unnecessary things because we get it. Like, as I said before, it’s it’s a simple story. Okay. So there’s this young kid, David. He and his dad in the beginning are watching this meteor shower, and, you know, it seems like they’re interested in the stars and the planets. And and and his dad is a really cool dad. He’s super nice. Like, he lets him stay up late much to the chagrin of his mother who’s played by Lorraine Newman who had fame from Saturday Night Live. And, like, the dad you know, I I guess this kid has a penny collection, which as soon as the dad pulls out this penny and gives it to him, like, look. I got you this penny that you would really like. Here, I’m gonna stick it in your coat pocket. I’m like, oh, okay. Well, clearly, that’s gonna be important later. Right. But the kid, wakes up in the night and sees a spaceship land in his backyard. It’s

Todd: giant spaceship. Yeah. It’s a huge space and

Craig: it looks pretty cool, and the lights are flashing or whatever. And he tells his dad about it in the middle of the night, tells both of his parents, and they don’t believe him, obviously. But the dad’s like, well, I’ll check it out in the morning. And so the dad does go check it out in the morning, and when he comes back, he’s weird. He’s different. Something is clearly wrong with him. He puts breath mints in his coffee and then, like, he chugs his coffee and it’s running down his chin and and he’s got this weird mark on the back of his neck that almost looks like some kind of wound or something. And he’s just super sketch, and, the kid notices, of course. And the dad, before he sends the kid off to school, is, like, you were right. There is something over the hill. Come on. I’ll show you. And the kid’s, like, no, dad. And and he runs off and gets on the bus. And that’s what it becomes. It becomes kind of an invasion of the Todd snatchers kind of thing, where all these people around this kid are being seemingly mind controlled by, like, some kind of hive mind or something. Whereas that’s a very simple story. The reason that I think that this works for kids and and still would work for kids is that the whole idea of it from a kid’s perspective is really really scary. You know, the fact that your parents are under somebody else’s control and your teachers and your friends and you’re the only one who knows and they know you know, so they’re after you. That’s really scary, you know, from a kid’s perspective. And I I think that if I had watched this as a child, I think I would have been really into it because I think that I would have found that really really scary.

Todd: I think as an adult, you watch this and and you brush over that a little bit. And what nags you about this movie is the fact that everybody listens to him a little too much. Yeah. Like, everyone pays so much attention to him. By by the end of the movie, he’s directing the military around, you know, and telling them what to do. Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You’re right. You know? And and, I guess, you know, there’s an interpretation of this film that’s out there that says that that there’s a reason for that, that the whole movie is kind of like this kid’s fantasy. Right? Where he’s the hero, because the end of the movie, we’ll just go ahead and spoil it because it’s kinda silly. At the end of the movie, you know, everything’s great. The day is safe. The kid goes to bed. And then, basically, he wakes up. And it’s all a dream, and he’s talking to his parents, and he’s telling them this fantastic story. And then, they all go to bed and then, suddenly, lights appear out the window and the same thing happens again. It’s this whole kind of wrap around deal where, oh, it was all a dream. Then I wake up in the morning and, oh, no. Actually, the invaders are coming and it’s all gonna happen. I hated that. I hated that freaking ending personally. And, and I and I guess if it it was in light of that, if you if the whole thing was a dream and it was all his fantasy, sure. Okay. I can get behind that. But, when you’re watching the movie as a plot, it’s really bothersome, and it almost seems ridiculous at some points in this movie. There’s a point in the film where he’s cowered with this nurse who’s the only person who believes him. So he gets to school and, you know, the the even the teacher is acting weird. He starts to notice the the mark on her neck on his the back of his her neck too. Even some of his classmates are getting this mark on his neck, and his teacher’s really got it in for him, and she wants to take him. And, he’s resisting, and he runs to the nurse, and the nurse is who’s played by Karen Black. And I guess, this is Karen Black’s real life son.

Craig: Yeah. Yeah. The kid the kid that plays David is. Yeah. And you know, I I I get what you’re saying with the whole frustration, about the ending where it’s, you know, maybe a dream or whatever. But what I kinda felt like they were going for was a Wizard of Oz kind of vibe, where the kid wakes up and the dad even says something at the end, like, it sounds like your dream incorporated a lot of things that happened in your day.

Todd: And I hated that. I thought that was Well

Craig: and because it didn’t really make sense in the context. Like, there wasn’t enough backstory to really justify it.

Todd: Yeah. We didn’t see enough of the day.

Craig: You know, in the wizard of Oz, she’s like, and you were there and you were there and you were there. And, you know, that’s that’s kind I I feel like that’s the vibe they were going for. And I get that. The theory that this is all a dream even though there’s also, you know, at the very end, the suggestion that maybe it was just kinda like a premonition or something. Mhmm. It makes sense. And, yes, all of the stuff, like you said, like, he eventually ends up hooking up with the military and NASA and, like, he’s giving them this little kid who’s probably, I don’t know, 10, 12, something like that. He’s giving them, like, all of this information. They’re like, oh, yeah. That must be it. Let’s do it. And then, like Mhmm.

Clip: Okay. We’re going in for our big military mission. Come along with us, little 10

Craig: year old. Like, that doesn’t make that that’s that’s the fantasy that you have. The fantasy that Yeah. Adults are going to listen to you and that you actually are important in solving this problem and that you are going to play a pivotal role in solving this problem And you’re going to save the hot nurse who is your friend, and you are going to get to see the mean teacher that you don’t like eaten by the Martians. Like, you know, it it makes sense that that’s all from from a child’s perspective, that fantasy makes sense, but watching it as an adult, it comes across as a little silly.

Todd: It does.

Craig: Because you know that that wouldn’t happen. First of all, nobody would listen to him. Nobody would believe this fantastic story. Then even if it turned out to be true, the second that he alerted the military and NASA to it, they would push him aside and take care of things on their own. But I don’t know. I guess, I’m just, you know, I’m I’m reliving my childhood days and my childhood fantasies where I wanted to put myself in these movies. Sure. And if, you know, if you you put yourself in this movie at 10 or 12 years old, how exciting that you as at 10 or 12 get to be the hero in the story. And and I don’t know. I I think it’s kind of it’s kind of fun.

Todd: I mean, I’ll grant you that. It is kind of fun in that way if you’re a kid watching this and being the hero. But as an adult watching this, like you said, it comes across as silly. And, the we get these scenes where, you know, he’s cowering in the basement, in the boiler room of their school or whatever, and the nurse is with him, and they’re the cops are coming in to look for him, and the cops have been, you know, by this time, possessed by the the Martians as well. What in

Clip: god’s name am I doing here? But you’re so so stupid. I don’t know what I saw anymore, David. I’m sorry. I don’t know. It’s okay to be afraid. I’m not afraid. I’m petrified. Me too.

Todd: It just seems off and almost a little I don’t wanna say, it’s like she’s the damsel in distress, but she’s in her thirties, and he’s 12. It’s weird having that role reversed in a film and watching it as an adult. You get what I’m saying? It’s a little

Craig: Oh, yeah.

Todd: You know?

Craig: It is. Oh, gosh. I thought they were gonna make out for a second.

Todd: It’s so off putting.

Craig: And it’s nice, like, it’s it’s sweet that she’s really an endearing character in this movie and and, you know, she’s got his back and she’s all the time looking out for him. It actually became a little bit much for me at the end. I I think for the last 15 minutes, Karen Black doesn’t have any lines except to shriek his name.

Clip: Like, David. David.

Todd: She wakes up in harsh captivity and what does she do? She starts screaming for the little boy, you know.

Craig: And that get and yeah. I mean, it is even almost a little bit awkward to see, like because she, like, snuggles into him and he has his arm around her. It I mean, it’s very much what it would be if he were the adult male hero and she were looking to him for protection or comfort, but he’s not. He’s a little kid, and so it doesn’t really make sense. Again, I guess that it just, supports the theory that this is just a childish fantasy because that’s probably what he would see, You know, like, at one point in the movie, we see him sitting down to watch a horror movie, which is actually Tobe Hooper’s life force that he’s watching on TV. So if if he is a fan of that kind of film and stuff, you know, that’s what he would see. He would see the hero, probably a man, protecting the frail woman in distress. And so that’s how his fantasy would play out, and it makes sense. Watching it on screen, it’s a little weird and icky. At the same time, I didn’t know until after I had seen the movie that, this was mother and son. Knowing that in hindsight, it’s kind of cute. It’s cute that this mother and son got to play this together and it it for me, it takes away a little bit of that ickiness because Sure. Sure. Because because there is nothing, you know. Like, there it there really I guess we’re just sick and include you know, you know, that innuendo is only in our minds, really.

Todd: Yeah. There’s nothing in the film that, yeah, implies any kind of romantic relationship between the 2.

Craig: No.

Todd: Let’s talk for a second about this creepy teacher because, like you said, she’s a standout in the movie, and she’s relentless and brutal to the point where you just you wonder why is she so fixated on this guy on this kid. Yeah. But, of course, part of it could be that he’s a Martian, but the other sense, you just get a sense she’s that kinda teacher.

Craig: Yeah.

Todd: She’s the biology teacher in the classroom, and they’re going to be dissecting frogs. And some other kid throws a frog at him, and he tosses it away aside. But instead of going after the 2 kids who threw the frog at him, she grabs his arm instead and yanks

Clip: him over. David Gardner, this may be the way you behave at your house. Please, you This is not the way you behave in my classroom. Heather, you supervise while I take this uncontrollable young man to the school nurse.

Todd: And we’ve seen no evidence that this kid is anything but controlled. You know? And Right. And as a kid, like you said, this whole notion that all these adults are out to get you, and they’re the ones who have the power, is it’s scary. There’s this great scene in this movie where, he’s already gone to the nurse, and he’s told her what, he thinks is going on. And, he creeps back into the, the classroom. I think I’m getting this in the right order. He creeps back into his classroom where it’s all dark, and he’s since had this encounter with these police officers who showed up at his house. And, he’s noticed that they were acting strange, and he sees in the hallway that the one of them is conferring with with the teacher talking about a field trip that they’re planning to go over that hill with the kids. And so, he creeps back into the classroom and he sees her riding 2 PM field trip today on the board, and then she goes into, like, a back room, like, the storage room of this biology class. And as he creeps back there, he sees from behind her sitting down at this desk. It’s this creepy scene. And as he gets closer and closer and closer, he hears these noises and whatnot, and she spins around, and she’s in the middle of eating one of these frogs. And she slurps the frog down legs and all and starts going back after him again. It’s it’s so gross. And this is one of the scenes that I remember as a kid. As a kid, you don’t forget something like that. And then, on top of it, like, at some point, he runs away. So the nurse ends up believing him. He tells this fantastic story. She says she’s gonna believe him, and he says, well, check the backs of their neck. And the nurse notices the back of the neck of this teacher just like David said. It’s a little weird, and the teacher’s real cagey about it. Then she notices the back of the neck of a little girl who’s asking for him. And so, she ushers him out the back window, hands him her keys, and says, just go to my house, let yourself in the back door, and I’ll see you later. Instead, he sneaks into a van that’s in the parking lot, and he probably doesn’t realize that this van belongs to that teacher. And I felt like we were revisiting Texas Chainsaw Massacre all over again with the scenes in this van.

Craig: Right. Yeah. Well and and the reason that he sneaks in there is because, you know, he’s trying to get away, but then all of a sudden all these people are looking for him, including his parents who show up at the school, and he knows that they all are whatever infected or implanted or whatever it is. But I just wanna take a second. Why is it that Louise Fletcher is just so scary? I I I think that I I think that she just her her gaze, she just has this gauge Yeah. Gaze that is so intense, and she’s so scary. I mean, really, the the movies that I remember her from, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, which is a brilliant movie, and she’s absolutely brilliant in it, but she is just wicked. And what, is so disconcerting about her character in that movie is that she never loses her cool. She always remains calm, and she always has the upper hand. And the the it’s a very similar thing in Flowers in the Attic, which by, you know, most accounts is not a great movie, but she is so good in it. And she’s just that good in this movie Todd. Even given some of the silly things, that she has to do, like swallowing a frog and, for whatever reason, she always calls the the nurse sister, like, you’re pushing it, sister.

Todd: Yeah. What she looks at, she’s like, sister?

Craig: I think. Yeah. But she’s she’s just so I I wouldn’t say that this is one of her best performances by any stretch of the imagination, but Well, it’s over

Clip: the top.

Craig: She’s just kind of it is over the Todd, but she’s kind of that perfect example of your stereotypical schoolmarm, miserable kind of teacher who just takes joy in being mean to kids because she can be and who’s gonna stop her. And, like

Clip: I told you this boy was trouble, and he needs to be severely punished. David, what’s the matter? He knocked over a defenseless little girl. But And he’s a little snoop. Please, missus McElch. Why don’t we just talk with each other? Give him to me. Please let me talk to him. David, go inside my office. You are pushing it, sister.

Craig: They get these implants in the back of their neck that, like, mind control them or whatever. And, you know, just to see her, like, driving the school bus full of kids towards the towards the landing site where they’re all gonna go get infected, And then, like, aft

Clip: I don’t know.

Craig: I guess she drops them off or something. And then she’s driving the school bus, and she pulls up behind the car that David is hiding in. And she gets out and she pulls him out and is, like, trying to pull him towards the bus, but he gets away. It’s just I don’t know. It’s just I I love her. And even as silly as it is, it’s fun for me to see her in this role just outright playing the villain.

Todd: In a in a movie that’s pretty over the top, I feel like maybe her performance is the only one that really works here. Because, like, the dad is gosh. Like, the scenes with the dad, it’s like, okay. We get it. This guy is is clearly not right, and even his wife should see that this man is walking around like an absolute zombie, speaking extremely slowly, monotone. The military guys are kind of caricatures of military guys. They’re all very

Clip: over

Todd: the top. For some reason, her being over the top in this movie just seems so natural, you know.

Craig: It does. You know, and it’s it’s funny. I hope that she had fun with it. I I I have read about her that she’s actually a really lovely person and that she is, you know, that she’s a lot of fun. And on the set of, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, you know, it was just her and all of these men and all these men kind of formed this boys club. And because of her role, she just felt very shut out because she was the enemy of everybody, and that’s just kind of how, you know, that that translated not just on the screen, but on the set. Like, she just felt very excluded. And so at one point in the filming, she just came out for a scene completely topless, just just to break the ice and to let them know that she she was a fun lady.

Todd: Oh my gosh. That’s hilarious.

Craig: And I guess after that, things are a little bit more comfortable with everybody, but, it’s funny. You know, I I I I don’t know. I can’t imagine. I I am not that way at all. I’m not intimidating in any way, but I just think that that’s, you know, so funny that somebody like her would have to break the ice in that kind of way in order just to get people to be nicer. Yeah.

Todd: Well, nothing nothing will break the ice in a room full of men than a woman popping in topless. That’s that’s true. True. But it’s funny because even, you know, you can say it’s the Martians, but even when he hops in her van, her van is it’s like this woman lives and breathes biology class, you know?

Craig: Yeah. Yeah.

Todd: Because her van is just filled with, bones and things hanging and cages of, like, stuffed animals and stuff. And and and the way that he does this, almost shot for shot, is almost exactly like when the woman stumbles for the first time in Texas Chainsaw Massacre into the bone room of that house. Sure. You know? It’s like close ups and all these things and the sound, and it’s all very played for very scary. I thought it was an interesting almost homage to Texas Chainsaw when he went in there, and I was totally getting that vibe which also made her extremely creepy.

Craig: Well, and there are parts that remind me did Tobe Hooper did he did. He did Texas Chainsaw 2, right, also?

Todd: Yep. Mhmm.

Craig: Yeah. He did. And there were parts of this movie that reminded me a lot of that. In Texas Chainsaw 2, there’s a part where the heroine finds herself in this big underground lair and it’s like this huge extensive underground lair and something very similar happens here where David follows his teacher, Louise Fletcher, and she inadvertently leads him into the Martian’s underground lair. And it was very similar. You know, these big tunnels, you know, some, you know, suggestions of, like, the spaceship, but it was also, like, kind of semi organic, and and that’s where he eventually actually sees, the Martian creatures that were created by Stan Winston. And these creatures, you know, I don’t find them to be particularly scary. If I were a little kid, I might. You know, they’re they’re kinda cool looking. They’re great big. At one point, David describes them as huge, giant, ugly, slimy, mister potato heads. That’s kinda what they look like. But they’re these big, like, pod creatures with huge gaping mouths with great big giant teeth and 4 legs. And I read that they really only created 2 of these creature suits, and then they did trickery to sometimes make it look like there were more of them. But the way that these suits were designed was that one average height person had to stand in it and walk backwards so that it looked like the alien’s knees bent in the opposite way of human knees. And then that average height person also had a little person strapped in a backpack on his back, and the and the little person would, aliens had these little arms that would come out of their heads and the little person would do that too. And the average height person was also, had, you know, like sticks or something that were controlling the back legs. And they look kinda clunky, like

Clip: Yeah.

Craig: Their movements look a little bit labored, like, you know, they’re not graceful. But they’re slimy and and, you know, they’ve got those great big teeth and, you know, they they kinda look cool. And then there’s the the lead alien or or, like, the whatever they the supreme figure, whatever they call him. And he’s just a a giant brain, and he he literally looks like the brain from was it Metroid? What was the video game from the

Todd: Oh, yeah.

Craig: It eighties where the the the the final boss was just this

Todd: big Mother Craig.

Craig: Brain that he does. Yeah. Mother Brain.

Todd: Or he looks like a little bit like, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The what’s the guy’s name inside the Craig? Krang?

Clip: Krang.

Todd: Yeah. He looks like Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Craig: Yeah. Yeah. That’s fun. I mean, if you’re talking about the, fantasy of a a kid, it works in that context.

Todd: Well, I think well, first of all, I feel like these these large creatures, Stan Winston always does an amazing job pretty much every time with these creatures. And you’re right. They’re slimy. They’re gross. They’re huge, hideous teeth. And at one point, one of them ends up swallowing, our our favorite teacher by the end of it.

Craig: Right. Right.

Clip: Which

Todd: is it’s incredibly satisfying. But Uh-huh. They look better as a still than they do when they’re, you know, in the film. Because in the film, they they’re these giant pods on these tiny stick legs, and it’s hard to believe that they have any coordination at all to be able to handle these humans like they’re supposedly doing.

Craig: Right.

Todd: Like, they’re putting them in this machine face down so they can get this neck drilled. And interestingly enough, you never see any of that. All you do is see these guys standing around, you know, while these humans are already incapacitated or, you know, caged up or whatever, because I I just find it and at one point, when the military is down in the tunnels, one of the guys approaches, the alien and hands him something. And to even hand this alien something was an awkward enterprise where there was a tiny little, like, claw like arm that had to shoot out the side of it and could barely hold the stick that was handed to it.

Craig: It just Yeah. It was like the actor had to very carefully, like, stick it in his hand. Like like, the hand didn’t actually move or do anything. Right. I know what you mean. And there are other time you know, like, they’re these big, you know, like, I in my notes, I kept saying, and then the teacher got eaten by a potato. Like, they’re shaped like a potato, and you can tell that it’s hollow. You know what I mean? Like, when they move, the the exterior moves in such a way that you can tell that it’s hollow inside. So it doesn’t really look real. Yeah. But but fun nonetheless. Yeah.

Clip: Well

Craig: And and we’re talking about we’re talking about a remake of a 19 fifties b movie, you know. And I’m sure that in some ways they were trying to keep true to that kind of feel. And in those 19 fifties b movies, the creatures didn’t look real, you know. They they did what they could with the effects that they had and I have to give them credit that they were using all practical effects here, almost all. The aliens, the big mister potato head aliens had a death Craig, and that was some kind of special effect. But other than that, it’s all practical. Quite good.

Clip: And I really like the

Todd: supreme being. I thought the supreme being actually was a supreme being quite good. And I really liked the supreme being. I thought the supreme being actually was pretty terrifying. Except he he he just needs better bodyguards. You know?

Clip: Right.

Todd: Right. At one point, David just runs right up to him and whacks him in the face before, you know, any tentacle or whatever could lash out at him. Think this guy needs more security. He’s got his brain exposed right there. You know? Todd also like, it’s cute because,

Craig: again, it’s so childlike, but, like, the military is totally ready to go in and kill these Martians. And it appears that the Martians’ reason for being here is because we earthlings have been exploring Mars and we haven’t found life there yet, but we’re close to finding life there and they don’t wanna be found. Yeah, the whole reason that they’ve come here is to destroy the rocket that’s gonna be coming to Mars to search underground, which is apparently where they live. But Todd, at some you know, the the the main military guy is like

Todd: So worried, boy? We’re not out of options yet? Marines have no qualms about killing Martians.

Craig: And David’s like, well, maybe we should just try to talk to him.

Todd: Like, it’s so cute. And then he does. Like, he gets in

Craig: front of the Martians, and and he’s like

Clip: Can’t you give me my mom and dad back and Linda and Heather? This is. It’s your turn now, David Gardner. No way. Poor little guy. Poor little guy. I’ll fix you. You dick ring. What’s your

Craig: Which I just thought was so funny. Oh, god. There were so many funny parts of this movie. There was one part after David and the nurse. I think her name was Linda. They escape from something. It’s it’s when they’re in the basement and this great big huge Martian drill comes up through the floor, which inadvertently rescues them from the implanted cops. And their dialogue in this scene is just so funny. Like, Karen Black. I don’t even know what

Clip: They must be telling to go to the old town. Oh, they are. I know they are. We’ve got to stop them. Oh, They’re everywhere. So just get the hell out of this crazy place. No. We have to find my mom and dad. We’re not going back there alone, David. We need help.

Craig: Oh, it’s so funny, and it’s so silly.

Clip: But if

Craig: you if you ride that wave of this is all a fantasy in the kid’s mind, this would be, you know, what he’s putting her in the role of the damsel in distress and he is the hero. And so the dialogue doesn’t really make any sense and it’s so silly in a real world situation. But if it’s in the dream or in the mind of a kid, it makes total sense that, he would set himself up to be the hero and comfort her. Yeah. I don’t know. You know, in talking about it in talking about it, I’m sitting here with a big smile on my face like it was so funny. Really, in the moment, I was kinda I don’t know. I don’t wanna say bored. I don’t wanna say bored because I really wasn’t bored, but I wasn’t laughing out loud and it was really more kind of rolling my eyes. Yeah. And when and when I was laughing, it was laughing because it was funny, because it was bad. But that’s okay, you know, like it’s alright, you know, some movies are so bad they’re good and I I would almost put that in this put this in that category that it’s it’s really kinda so bad it’s good.

Todd: And I also feel like maybe in Tobe Hooper well, I don’t think it’s a maybe. I think it’s clear that he was intentionally, for whatever reason, trying to poke fun at these 19 fifties movies by putting just including a lot of the same bad stuff in it. Right. Involving the military in just an extremely absurd way. David’s dad, I guess, works for NASA. He just happens to work for NASA. And then, at some point, they decide that, David knows who can help, and it’s this general who’s played by James Karen. And and I freaking love James Karen. He’s been in a 1000000000 days.

Craig: You’re gonna I didn’t, yeah, I didn’t look it up. You’re gonna have to remind me because he was so familiar. What do I know him from?

Todd: You know him from so much television. You know him from, like, like, Apt Pupil and Mulholland Drive and, like, a ton of movies, but we watched we watched Return of the Living Dead. And he was the guy in the beginning of the Return of Living Dead who ran he was the manager who ran the warehouse.

Craig: Yes. Yes. I know him from other stuff Todd, but now that you say that yeah. Yeah. He’s good.

Todd: And he’s still working. I mean, this guy this guy’s they got over 200 credits to his name and he’s still going. So it’s it’s pretty awesome. But, yeah, you see this guy and you know him, and he almost always plays the same kind of character. He’s really good at that heart of military guy who’s chomping on a cigar. But, you know, the minute they come in to this base and maybe as a for as a military brat myself, you know, I was kinda rolling my eyes at this about how these 2 could just get onto this military base as the marines. And then as they’re going through here, there’s, like, big NASA vans, and they’re, like, loading things on these NASA trucks. And I’m like, since when does the NASA have anything to do with the military? And then, you know, like

Craig: I was literally gonna ask you that because I know that you have that background. I’m like, are NASA and the military connected? Like, are they sharing a base?

Todd: Like It’s so weird. Like, okay. You know, this is something, again, again, that would be totally typical in those b movies because they they never did that right. They were just the military were just people. You know? They’d salute indoors, and they have crazy ranks. And who who nobody no. They didn’t have a consultant on set. Let me put it that way when they’re putting

Craig: that Yeah. The the the general calls, like, his little buddy, skipper, at one point. Like, I don’t think that’s the right title, but cute.

Todd: And the general’s office is hilarious. He’s got this giant portrait behind him. And if if you look at it from one direction, it looks like a big imposing wooden desk with wood paneled walls and stuff from the background. And then if you look at it from the other direction, you see all these, like, eighties, like, room sized computers that are there and these screens that are showing the launch countdown. And I’m going, what the hell? Like, what is the why is in the general’s office is this massive machinery that looks like mission control for some launch. And, like, okay. So this is where NASA comes in. And so they have their moment where David explains everything to the general, and it makes too much sense to him coming from a 12 year old kid. But, anyway, he asked his his second in command guy to go check it out. What was his name? Re Rinaldi? Rinaldi. That’s right. I love that guy.

Craig: Yeah. Rinaldi. And he was he was cute. That’s him. Maybe that was just me.

Todd: I wasn’t going through my mind, but, yeah, he was a very attractive man. I just thought he was I thought he was cute in a different way. I thought I’d he was just like the side dog to this guy. You know? And he just runs out.

Craig: That’s funny.

Todd: He’s the guy who runs out the room. It’s like he’s like, go check it out, Rinaldi, and he’s like, okay, I’ll go check it out. And then 5 minutes later, Rinaldi comes in with, like, all of this information. Yeah. The kids’ story checked out. This happened and this happened, and I called so and so and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. It’s like, that’s all we need. Alright? Get them in here. We gotta stop the launch. And then Rinaldi comes in again. It’s too late. There’s, like, a truck full of liquid oxygen barreling towards the rocket. And so then they turn around, and they look at the screens. And there’s, like, a computer it’s a total eighties, like, computer 3 d looking image of this rocket. Uh-huh. And a total 3 d looking image of a this this truck going towards it. I’m I’m watching this with my wife, and she just burst out laughing. It was so funny.

Craig: Oh, it’s hilarious. And then it blows and then it blows up and, like, the general has this look of shock and awe on his face. And then you see Karen Black, and she’s crying like like that rocket was her baby or something.

Todd: And and suddenly, the room kinda lights up, and they turn around, and it’s like they’re staring out the window at the they’re seeing this, like, you know, like, there’s suddenly a window in his office, like, down on the tarmac. And I’m sitting here thinking, the minute they heard something was barreling towards that rocket, why were they turning towards those computer screens? If there was a window in there, they could have been looking out. Right. So but putting that all in there, he’s doing it for purpose. Yeah. You know? He’s trying to pay homage to these old films, but it’s so ridiculous, you know, in a 19 eighties movie that it it’s hard for me to get past it. It’s hard for me to laugh at it so hard.

Craig: Yeah. And it’s silly, you know, that then, of course, the military is just all on board with this kid and they send out this massive, you know, group of troops, go infiltrate these tunnels, which they do. But and then David is there, and then David Right. They’re with them. Right. And then David runs, you know, like, he wants to save his mom and dad. So he runs into the sandpit, and the nurse follows him, and so then they get sucked down in there, and then everybody’s down there, and it’s just cutting back and forth, and it culminates well, the the nurse Linda is, like, on the, I don’t know, platform or whatever where they get the injections, and like so they’re fighting against time so she doesn’t get her implant. And all of the troops end up in the control center or whatever where the big brain guy is, And they shoot the potato head Martians and, they shoot the brain guy and then the brain guy retreats like back into the wall or something for a while. And they they rescue Linda and, everybody tries to run away. There’s a really funny moment of the Rinaldi moment where Rinaldi has gotten an implant and he comes face to face with the general. And it’s so funny, like like, he’s trying to fight the influence of the implant. And so, like, he’s raising his gun, pointing it at the general, but he’s also, like, shaking, and then he’s, like

Todd: Don’t Don Rinaldi.

Craig: Shoot me. So they do.

Todd: Right. General goes,

Craig: Rinaldi, no. And David David witnesses the potato heads using their death ray and he sees that it’s fueled by copper. So once everybody gets away, they’re running and running, but they find out that the Martians have sealed up the exit. But they’ve left one of their death ray’s laying around, so they David’s like, we can use this. He’s like, it takes copper. Hold on a second. I’ve got a penny in my pocket. The penny that his dad gave him in the beginning. So he puts the penny in the death ray and, the death ray yep. Like, it’s like a video game. And the death ray works and it opens up the entrance or whatever. And then everybody again, it’s funny and stupid. You know, their first goal objective, obviously, would be to get the kid out of there. But, no, they’re all they all run out and they’re like, come on, David. Come on. He’s like, I’m coming. Okay. And his parents. Yeah.

Todd: Then his parents come come walking down the hallway towards him. David. David. Come with us. Come with us. And he turns,

Craig: and he’s like, no, mom and dad. I’m not gonna go with you. It’s so funny.

Todd: You don’t know what you’re missing.

Clip: Oh, yes. I do.

Todd: Come on, Luca.

Clip: Mom, dad, I love you. Please understand, but I just can’t come with you.

Craig: So he runs out and they chase him, and the, spaceship is, like, getting ready Todd, like, it’s taking off, but the military has also, like, planted these bombs in there or whatever. And so before the bombs even go off I don’t even really understand this, but, like, the the parents catch David. But before the bombs in the ship even go off, their implants, like, malfunction. Yeah. And so they’re fine again. Yeah. I read that in that scene when the sparks had to come out of the back of their neck, it set, Lorraine Newman’s hair on fire, and she didn’t even know it until afterwards. But then everything’s fine, and the shit blows up. And then we get to that twist ending where he wakes up and it’s like it was all a dream, but then it starts to happen again. And he runs into his parents’ room, and we don’t see what he sees. We just see his face, but we hear the potato head alien noises, and he just screams, no. And that’s the end. I don’t know. I mean, it’s cute. It’s a cute movie. It’s not a great movie, but it’s cute and I do think if I were a parent and I had a kid who was interested in this kind of thing, who was maybe the David’s age in the movie, 10, 11, 12, whatever, however Todd he’s supposed to be. It would be a fun movie, I think, to sit down with a child and watch. Because I think that the kid would be way more into it than I would be and I would get a lot of joy out of seeing a kid enjoy something like this. Does that make sense?

Todd: Yeah. It makes perfect sense, and I’m I’m right there with you. And I I as a kid, I remembered really liking the movie even though I can’t remember a lot about it. I did remember a lot of those specific moments. And I think in my mind too, I conflate it a little bit with the original. I think as if I recall correctly, the original was quite dark except for the fact that that that special effects are horrid, you know, and the alien costumes are super cheesy and whatnot. But, the idea again that that you’re a child and all these people that you depend on and you trust and you need to get through your life are now turning against you, and you have, you know, you have to figure out what to do is a terrifying thought. I would sit down and watch this with my son. No question. But I know I’d be I’d be checking my phone. I’d be

Craig: doing some reviews to try

Todd: to get through it because it’s just not compelling enough.

Craig: Because you’re a terrible father.

Todd: That too. Yeah. Right.

Craig: I’m just I’m just kidding, guys. I give Todd a lot of crap, but he’s a good dad.

Todd: I don’t know. It remains to be seen.

Craig: Yeah. I guess we’ll see. No. No. It it’s fun. You know, my my niece and nephew well, especially my nephew. Nephew. My niece kind of gets into some of these things sometimes, but my my nephew is not into these scary things at all. So I don’t think that he would enjoy it. But honestly, like, I I can imagine sitting on a couch with a kid and watching this, and I I wouldn’t look at my phone because I’m not terrible. But I can imagine watching the kid more than I was actually watching the movie, just to see their reactions. And especially if they were enjoying it, I I think that would be a lot of fun.

Todd: Yeah. I’d be curious to know if a kid Todd, you know, because things things just move very quickly. You know? Cartoons and Yeah. Movies and things. The action just really keeps going. And a lot of older movies, that we love for kids are like that, you know, well plotted. I think of like Goonies to be 1, and this one is plotting, you know, in many ways, even though stuff is happening it takes so long to happen. And there’s just so much going on after a while that, I wonder if this would test the patience of kids or if the subject matter and just, you know, seeing what’s happening on screen and being able to put all of the distractions out of your mind, because they don’t think about, like, the military is portrayed stupidly in this movie or whatever.

Craig: Right. Right.

Todd: That would, overcome that, and they’d still be able to enjoy it. It’ll be an interesting experiment for when, when Kenji’s a little older.

Craig: I think that, kids again, it depends on their sensibilities, but if if they were into aliens or scary stuff, I do think they could get on board with this and I think that a lot of that comes from it seemingly coming from a child’s perspective. You know, I read I didn’t notice, but I read that it was even shot so that usually things were shot from a really low perspective as though you were seeing it through the eyes of a child. That’s not something that I noticed nor do I think that kids would notice it, but, you know, on a subconscious level maybe that would work. I don’t know. Again, I don’t think that it’s a great movie. I do think that I had seen it before and really didn’t remember much about it, and I think that that says something about the movie itself. But we’ve definitely seen worse, And, ultimately, I I don’t I don’t feel like my time was wasted in watching it. You know? It it’s a fun, cute, quirky, little movie. Is it terribly scary? Certainly not. Is it the most entertaining thing I’ve seen? Certainly not. But it’s got some good things going for it. It’s got, you know, some great people in it, some really fun moments. So, you know, I will give it a a very half hearted one thumb up.

Clip: That’s kind of on its side.

Todd: Your thumb is on its way, I per se. Right? My wife, enjoyed it a lot. We watched it together. So, yeah. It just I think it just depends. Depends on whether you’re in the mood too. Right?

Craig: Right. Right.

Todd: Well, thank you again for listening to another episode. If you enjoyed this one, please share it with a friend. You can like us on Facebook. Find us there. You can also find our web page 2 guys dot red forty Todd dot com and see our whole back catalog. Until next time, I’m Todd And I’m Craig. With 2 Guys and a Chainsaw.