The Monster Squad (1987)

Episode 66, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Craig:  Hello and welcome to another edition of 2 Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Craig.

Todd:  And I’m Todd. 

Craig:  And today, we have a special guest. If you are a long time listener, you may have heard her before. Our guest tonight is my sister, Kristen Kennedy. Say hello, Kristen. 

Kristin:  Hi, guys. I’m here. 

Craig:  Alright. The reason that, we asked Kristen to work with us today is because we are talking about a movie that is near and dear to our childhood, and maybe Todd’s too, and that is, 1987’s The Monster Squad. Now, this is a movie that I would probably count in my top five movies of all time. I just absolutely loved this movie. I was kind of surprised when I told my sister that I was going to be doing this one, that, she wanted to talk about it with us because I kind of had the feeling that maybe I had forced her to watch a little bit more than she wanted to. Kristen, what’s your thought on the movie? 

Kristin:  I don’t really remember if you forced me to or not, but when you had said you were doing it, I was like, oh my gosh. I really, really wanna do that with you. I have very fond memories of this movie. So I don’t think it was one you must have forced me to watch. I’m not sure. 

Todd:  Wow. That’s impressive. Because you forced her to do a lot of things, Craig, according to what we’ve listened to in this podcast. 

Kristin:  I don’t know. I was I was noticing it’s from 1987. And so then I was I was doing the math thinking that we probably watched it around the time that it came out, which would mean I was 5 years Todd, and you were 8 years old. And that seems crazy. When I was rewatching it last night for this, I thought, oh, my gosh. These are my kids’ ages now, 58. And I would never let them watch this movie right now. It’s fun and it’s silly and it’s cute, but the monsters are also really scary. 

Craig:  Yeah. I kinda felt the same way. That’s exactly what I was thinking when, I was watching it. I was like, there was no way that Kristen would ever let her kids watch this now. But I think that that’s maybe a little bit sad. Not to say that I think that you should let them watch it because I think that kids today aren’t necessarily exposed to this type of movie. But I personally find that sad because this is the type of movie that I really connected with and really loved as a kid. First of all, one of the aspects of it that I love so much is that really it’s kind of a buddy movie, and I loved those type of movies when I was a kid.   I didn’t have a whole lot of guy friends. I wasn’t into sports and that type of stuff. I was more into like reading and school. And so, my friends tended to be girls more often, often. And I was always a little bit jealous, of the guys in these types of movies, like This and, The Goonies and Stand by Me. And so I think that was really appealing to me Todd. Plus, our dad was always a big horror fan, and I always kinda wanted to be like him, I think. And so having access to this movie where there certainly are scary elements, but at the same time, it feels safe enough for young kids.   I just really I I and I still love it today. I mean, there are parts of it that I think are a little bit out of date. There are, there’s some language and stuff that, is a little bit not PC. Not that it was PC in the eighties either, but, we were a little bit more lax about those things unfortunately then. But beyond that, the movie itself, I just I still love it. What’s your experience with it, Todd? 

Todd:  You know, I thought I had seen this movie. And then I realized after I started watching it that I think in my mind I was confusing it with Little Monsters with Fred Savage. Uh-huh. You know that one? Yeah. 

Craig:  Yeah. It’s another good one. 

Todd:  And and that one I 

Kristin:  I love that one. 

Todd:  That one I did grow up with, and this one, I have never seen, believe it or not. So when I was watching this, I was obviously watching it with fresh eyes. But just like you guys said, it is a time capsule, and it really transported me back, to those kind of movies. Well, not just the era, but also the kind of movies, the kids movies that we had in that era. It this is this has so many parallels to Goonies, which came out Yeah. You know, what, 2 years before this. And I’m sure that’s intentional because they were trying to create that same, feeling, you know, that that same sense of success that kids had, that that Goonies had. But Right.   In the same way that I go back and I rewatch Goonies now, there are parts of it that I think, jeez, Like, they just don’t make kids movies like this anymore. And I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. And the things I’m talking about are really kind of small. But first first and foremost is the language. 

Kristin:  For the Absolutely. I mean, I actually was counting because in the within the first 9 minutes of the film, they’d either said homo or faggot, 4 times 

Todd:  Oh, yeah. 

Kristin:  In under in under 9 minutes. And then, you know, the cool kid Todd had had ridden up on his bicycle, smoking a cigarette. And, I was like, yeah. I don’t I don’t know if I would want my kids watching this at their ages right now. 

Todd:  Well, yeah. And they’re supposed to be like in elementary school. Right? Or or at least middle school or something? 

Kristin:  Right. Yeah. 

Todd:  But but but they’re it’s like their high school. Like, it’s like they wrote it for high school students, but they went ahead and cast middle school like, middle school or elementary school stand by me age kids in it. It’s got that little bit of that frat boy type feeling to it. A little bit. Even the little girl says, like, chicken shit at one point, you know, and there’s Good. 

Kristin:  She does. 

Todd:  And and, you know, Goonies is the same way though. And to be quite frank, we did talk like that. At least my friends, I I I didn’t so much, but my friends, they they we all went through a period about this age where we were all trying on all the curse words and the swear words. And, so in that way, it did seem just kinda like Goonies does a it doesn’t seem inauthentic, but it’s certainly something you don’t see in kids’ movies anymore, 100%. 

Kristin:  You know what’s funny is when I was watching it, I was thinking about and you’re mentioning The Goonies. And I’m thinking, you know, The Goonies is one that my brother made me watch all the time. And I think I think I was a little too young, and I just didn’t quite find it as funny as he found it. But this one, he also watched all the time. And I think I liked it because I was probably the same age as Phoebe. And I really, really, really related to Phoebe in this movie. You know, I wanted to be hanging out with my older brother and his cool friends. And, you know, and Sean was her older brother in the movie, and he he was not like he didn’t treat her poorly or anything.   She just kinda tags along all the time, and I think I was trying to be Phoebe. Like, I tried to kinda get in the group on the fringes and just fly under the radar and every now and then say something funny. So I really related to little Phoebe, and I think probably I thought it was really cool when she told the the older boys not to be chicken shit. 

Craig:  Well, I feel like we better get into talking about the movie because, I could probably I was telling Kristen I was talking to her on the phone earlier Todd. She said, I don’t know how we’re gonna talk about it for an hour. And I said, Oh, don’t worry. I could probably recite this movie from beginning to end. I’m just gonna gush because I just love just about everything about this movie. But one of the things that I really like about this movie is that it connects all of these old, universal monsters to a different generation. You know, these, monsters like Dracula, Frankenstein, the wolf man, the mummy, and the creature from the Black Lagoon. These are all iconic horror figures, but they weren’t in play so much from the time when I was a kid on.   It came in an era before. And, this movie opens up in a spooky Todd castle and, it’s kind of in the dungeon and, there’s rats and there’s bats flying around and eventually we see a big kind of scary bat that transforms into Count Dracula. And although this isn’t an exact replica of the Bela Lugosi, Dracula, it’s very clear from the beginning that, that’s who it’s meant to be. And I guess that they were really careful. Stan Winston did the monster, effects on this movie, and I guess that they had to be really careful because they tried to get Universal to make the film, but Universal wouldn’t. So to avoid any copyright infringement, they had to make the monsters look a little bit different. But I’m surprised they didn’t get in trouble anyway because the monsters all look pretty much alike their classic carnations. So we start out there and there’s a really cool scene where Van Helsing is bringing these troops into Dracula’s castle, to try to perform this ceremony with this amulet that apparently if a virgin reads these magical words, this amulet can open up a portal to limbo, and it can suck all the evil monsters there.   Well, things don’t go right. In fact, there’s an opening scroll that says 100 years before this story begins, it was a time of darkness in Transylvania, a time when Doctor. Abraham Van Helsing and a small band of freedom fighters conspired to rid the world of vampires and monsters And And that’s what we get to see here in this opening scene. And it feels maybe on a little bit of a grander scale because it’s in color and it’s kind of a big set piece, but it feels very much like one of those old movies. So when, the portal opens, it backfires and the good guys get sucked in and, they’ve blown their chance for the next 100 years. Then we cut to the present day where we meet 2 of our main characters, Sean who is played by Andrew or excuse me, Andre Gower, and Patrick, Sean’s best friend played by Robbie Kyger. And they are in the principal’s office at their elementary school or middle school, wherever they’re supposed to be, and they’re getting in trouble because they’re not paying attention to their studies. And instead, what they’re doing is they’re drawing, these monsters that they come up with their in their heads. 

Clip:  This is spider with human head? 

Craig:  I’m sorry. Spider? 

Kristin:  With human head. Yeah. He eats dogs and cats and rabbits. 

Craig:  Does he? 

Kristin:  Sean thought him up. 

Clip:  You see, sir, we kinda have this monster club, okay? And we draw those pictures to put on our clubhouse walls. 

Craig:  Correction, mister Crenshaw. You draw pictures during missus Carlson’s science class when you are supposed to be paying attention. 

Kristin:  Wait. I just wanna say one thing. I mean, missus Carlson’s a nice teacher and all, but she’s boring and has an odd shaped head. That’s why some of the guys call Meow Mix because her head’s shaped like a cat head. But I don’t, sir, because how rude. 

Craig:  So we we then go out and meet a couple of our other characters, Horace, who is also known as Fat Kid. 

Kristin:  Fat Kid. 

Craig:  Yeah. Fat Kid. Fat Kid 

Todd:  more than anything else in this movie. 

Kristin:  Yeah. I think they only say Horace twice. Otherwise, fat kid. 

Craig:  It yeah. Fat kid. Poor guy. But, you know, it was the eighties. We were meeting the eighties, I guess. 

Todd:  Well, you know what? I I prefer to call him Chunk because that’s really who he is in this movie. 

Craig:  It is. I mean, there are so many parallels. It’s so much like The Goonies, but The Goonies with monsters. I mean, even, the mom, Sean’s mom is played by, Mary Ellen Trainor, who was the mom in Goonies. I mean, there are so many similarities. But you know, this whole probably, I don’t know, first 15, 20 minutes is just introducing us to these new characters. Fat Kid is getting bullied by, EJ who is played by Jason Hervey who is the older brother on The Wonder Years. And he’s just being mean to him and calling him bad names and whatnot.   And then the cool kid, Rudy, shows up on his bicycle. 

Kristin:  With his banana seat. He was so cool. 

Craig:  Which I think was awesome. And this kid is played by Ryan Lambert and like, I felt like I had seen this kid in a bunch of other things and I looked at his IMDB page and he really didn’t do a whole lot. I mean, he was on Kids Incorporated, which we watched when we were kids, but I think I just watched this movie so much that these kids are all so familiar to me. Anyway, Rudy rescues Fat Kid and kind of humiliates, the bully. And then, we move on and, Sean and Patrick are walking down the street having a debate about the wolf man and what the wolf man does and doesn’t Todd. You know, he wears pants, so surely he could drive a car, and they eventually, they say something about he he has to wear pants because otherwise you’d see his wolf dork. I don’t remember using that word when we were kids, but it sure is funny. And that’s that’s when, Phoebe, Sean’s little sister shows up.   Phoebe’s played by a little girl, an adorable little girl, named Ashley Bank, who also did a lot of TV work around this time. And they end up in front of this house where Phoebe says that she saw a scary German guy looking, at them, and they talk about how scary, scary German guy is. And again, we, you know, we get to their clubhouse where they’re gonna try to initiate Rudy into the club. Watching it again today, I was like, really? Would this cool older kid really wanna be in their monster club? Yeah. Apparent yeah. Apparently, he is. And then we get back to the monsters where we have, Dracula on a plane. 

Kristin:  I was watching that scene, and I remember, thinking, this is a big plane, even though they show a shot of this tiny plane, this bomber kind of a plane that’s flying. But then he they you know, the pilot and the copilot are sitting there chatting, and then they hear something. And I think, you know, it sounds just like something fell over, something little. And they freak out. They get really, really scared. And I thought, I don’t know if I’d be that scared. I don’t know if they thought something with the engine blew or what, but they decided to go check it out. And I just had to laugh because then he walks into this gigantic room, it seems, that has lots of crates and freight and different things.   And on one giant thing, it says, Frankenstein, which I just thought was hilarious. Nobody thought about the fact that this just said Frankenstein on it when they’re transporting dead Todd, and they had made jokes about, you know, one guy didn’t like doing that, and the other guy said, hey, they don’t they don’t need more peanuts, or they don’t complain about the flight.   yeah. So that was a little silly to me. And, of course, then, there’s Dracula, and he kinda takes care of the pilot. 

Todd:  It’s really a a neat scene. Scene. Actually, I was pretty impressed with it. It was it’s cool because what somehow so Dracula flies at her, at him as a bat, and then ends up materializing behind him. And when he turns around, he sees him. Then he pulls the cargo what is it, like, the lever? The pilot pulls the lever in order to release the cargo bay doors or whatever, which would release under Dracula and that Frankenstein Craig. But, of course, the Frankenstein crate falls straight down and Dracula remains suspended there in front of him. And I don’t know.   For some reason, that just seemed like a really cool scene, like, even a little pretty scary. I don’t know. If I’d seen it as a kid, I would’ve freaked out. 

Kristin:  Yeah. As a kid, I remember being really scared of that scene. I didn’t like it. I probably put a pillow in front of my face. It was all the lighting was all red and creepy. But, yeah, he just kinda hovers there and flies, and the pilot guy is kinda on the floor. He’s fallen down or gotten punched by Dracula or something, and he’s kinda watching in disbelief. Then, of course, Dracula then, after he hovers for a while, he flies out.   And who knows what happens to the pilot and the other guy for the rest of their flight? 

Todd:  That’s true. We don’t see them again, do we? It’s it’s you know? And, again, Craig Craig laughs at me for doing this a lot where I point out movie logic, and and how it all doesn’t fit. But, I just have to say, like, this whole plan of Dracula’s is so bizarre. Like, was he going to make a noise and hope for the pilot to come to the back, so that he could kinda punch him in the face or do whatever, but entice him to dump the crate exactly where he wanted him to dump it in the swamp that was near this house, which is in the suburban neighborhood where, you know, I I don’t know. You know, it it just kinda Right. But the crate ends up in a swamp. 

Craig:  You’re right. And watching this movie, I really, got that sense this time around too. Everything kind of works out perfectly. You know, he falls in this, swamp that’s not only right outside of the house where the amulet is, but it also happens to be right next to the kids’ clubhouse, which is convenient for the plot moving forward. But I wanted to take a second and, say that the guy who plays Dracula here, I don’t really know him from anything else. His name’s Duncan Reiger. And I guess in his youth, he was a champion figure skater. He was an Olympic boxing contender.   He also did some Shakespeare. And I think that, you know, I like a ton of this movie, but I really think that this guy who plays Dracula, is really, really good. And, I I don’t know. What do you guys think? 

Kristin:  I think he’s good, but I thought he was super cheesy too. I don’t know. Just with the, when you said figure skater, I’m like, I can see that. He kinda looks like a figure skater. I don’t know. He’s he was scary. And I remember as a kid that I was scared of him. But he was I don’t know.   He was just all of the characters, when we finally get them all together, they seem a little cheesy. But when they’re on their own, I feel like they seem scarier. And I don’t know what that’s about. But, he’s a very serious Dracula. He doesn’t he’s a man of few words. 

Todd:  Yeah. 

Kristin:  He doesn’t he doesn’t talk a whole lot. But when he does talk, he also has a really creepy voice. So I don’t know. What did you think of him, Todd? 

Todd:  Well, he doesn’t have a lot to do, really. I mean, you know, every scene that we see of him is him wandering around and kinda making a comment, or he’s just standing ominously, you know, over somebody or something. So, but then again, that’s Dracula. Right? I mean, I guess it’s not quite true. That’s Dracula in this kind of movie, where he is just the villain, and he’s not really trying to seduce anybody, or get into their house or anything like that. That’s what really sets this apart from, I think, a lot of the other vampire movies that we’ve seen is that all of these creatures are out of their element. They’re really out of their original contexts. And so we’re just seeing them being sort of generic bad guys, banding together to get the amulet and presumably unleash some kind of, you know, destruction upon the world or I guess get more power and unleash more monsters or something.   I guess that was their end game. Right? 

Craig:  Right. Right. And and I guess I see what you’re saying. I just found this guy to be really I don’t know. He’s he’s tall and handsome and and, he’s got this old Hollywood look about him. I just thought he was really scary. I guess, in 2006, Wizard Magazine, I don’t know what magazine that is, but Wizard Magazine did a countdown of all of all the greatest movie villains. And I don’t remember exactly where Dracula fell on the list, but the Dracula that they chose was this guy’s portrayal of Dracula.   Really? And they felt that yeah. They thought that his portrayal of Dracula was the best and scariest, of them all. Now I’ve not seen all of them, and I I think that, he would certainly get some contention from from Bram Stoker’s Dracula, the Dracula in that film. But I don’t know. I just really like this guy. I find him really effective, especially at the end. He’s scary. That’s the thing about another thing about this movie that I like is that it doesn’t tiptoe around things.   It really these kids are in peril. I mean, these Dracula talks about killing these kids, and you really believe that he would if that’s what it came down to. And you don’t really see that so much in kids’ movies anymore. The threat doesn’t ever really seem that bad, at least the ones that I’ve seen recently. But anyway, you’re right. Frankenstein’s thing falls in the swamp. We cut back to the kids’ clubhouse and we get a shot where we see that Dracula’s cape has fallen in a tree very near there, so we know all of this is happening in the same location. We see a little bit more, of the kids in the club, and Rudy’s taking a monster test. 

Kristin:  Second way to kill a vampire. 

Craig:  I give up. Daylight. 

Kristin:  Sunlight. Uh-huh. That kid, what other kind of light is there during the day? Oh, wait. Pete? Question 2. Is Frankenstein the name of the monster or the guy who made him? The guy. Right. 

Craig:  Rudy, while he’s up there, is also kinda looking through this camera that’s set up out the window. And through the camera, he can see this beautiful blonde girl who is always undressing in front of her window. Like, I feel like that’s all she does. 

Kristin:  And it seems like she must be looking in the mirror and posing, too. Like, she’s putting on a little show for somebody. 

Todd:  Yeah. Right? Yeah. Right. It’s like she knows there’s a camera set up across the street. 

Craig:  Exactly. It turns out to be Patrick’s sister, which we find out later. But when we’re up here, in the clubhouse, we also meet, Eugene, who is the last member of their little group. And he’s this little tiny guy. He’s probably Phoebe’s age, and he’s so cute. He’s got this little dog. And, this kid was played by Michael Faustino, who I looked up just because the name was so familiar. He’s the younger brother of Dave Faustino from Married With Children.   But he’s so cute. That’s another thing that I like about this movie is that the little kids especially, Eugene and Phoebe, are just adorable. 

Kristin:  They are. 

Craig:  And really endearing. Sean goes back into his house and his mom has bought them, again, another very convenient plot point. The mother has been to this estate sale up at that old house at 666, Shadow Brook Lane. 

Kristin:  And Shadow Brook Road. 

Craig:  Shadowbrook Road, excuse me, right? And, she bought this old book, which turns out to be Van Helsing’s diary. Now, why this book would be there, why the amulet would be there when the establishing thing that we saw in the beginning happened in Transylvania, I have no idea. And I don’t remember questioning it when I was a kid. And it didn’t bother me at all just because the the story was so much fun and and the action just kept going. Sean goes upside upstairs and meets his dad, Del, who’s played by Steven Mott. He was in tons of TV and soap and movies. If you were alive in the eighties and you watched TV, you definitely would recognize this guy. And Sean wants to go see Groundhog Day part 12, this horror franchise, but he has to stay and babysit because, his parents are going to marriage counseling.   That’s another thing that’s established. The mom and the dad are kind of having trouble. And then we cut to a scene at the police station where Del works. He gets called away, and the mom’s not happy about that because they had this appointment, but he gets called away. And this guy is going crazy at the police station, shouting, lock me up, lock me up, I’m a werewolf. And the cops are just trying to subdue him, and we see the moon outside and and we get the sense that he’s about to change, and one of the officers, shoots him. You know, I’m I’m going through all of this really quickly because it happens really quickly. You know, this is a really short movie.   It’s only, an hour and 22 minutes long, and and we just get introduced. There’s a lot of characters, but it doesn’t seem crowded, or at least it didn’t to me. Each one of the kids in the, Monster Squad, and I’m including Phoebe in that even though they won’t really let her be a part of the club, You know, they they each have their own individual personality. There may not be a whole lot of focus on them individually, but they seem like kind of an authentic group of kids. Of course, yes, you’ve got the tough one with Rudy, but beyond that, they’re not really all that stereotyped, and I find myself engaged with and caring about all these characters. I’m interested in the mom and the dad, Del and Emily. You know, I wouldn’t want to go with them to their marriage counseling, but, you know, they they seem like real human beings. Is that it nostalgia that’s giving this so much Craig? Or, Todd, since this is the first time you’ve ever seen this, did you feel that way about these characters? 

Todd:  I did. You know you know, you point out that the that the plot development really flies by at a at a quick pace. And you’re right, yet you’re also right. I also felt like I cared about these characters more than a lot of other movies where they fly through the plot and you don’t really learn enough about these people to really care. And I think that’s because it’s not like we get the scene in the diner where the kids for an some unknown reason like to go to some diner and sit down and chat. Like, these are kids doing kids things. They have their tree house. They have their clubhouse.   They’re not just walking down the street, but they’re walking down the street carrying a skateboard and wearing sunglasses, you know, which was totally our thing in the eighties. And, they’re they’re riding their bikes from place to place. They’re so convincing as kids and even in their rooms. Was, like, writing down all of the, like, eighties stuff from my childhood. So maybe there is, like, some nostalgia here. But, like, there’s a My Pet Monster in there, you know. Of course, he’s got like a Robo Tech t shirt on. They’re talking about Miami Vice, and even just their clothing was so what we wore, the jams and the the shirts and things that they were so convincing as kids.   And I think that the setting and the fact that all of the stuff that happens in the film happens while they’re going about being kids, in their natural kid settings, that it instantly made them relatable. Yeah. And even though I can’t honestly like when we talk about character development, why we care about people, usually we say we care about people because we know a lot about them. I can’t say that I really know a lot about each of them, except for the fact that I can place myself right there with them as one of their gang because I can relate just to them in general at that age. Does that make sense? And so I and I really get that empathy. Yeah. 

Kristin:  I think I feel the same way. Because even for me, here’s this boys’ club, but there’s little Phoebe, who is the same age as me, and I just totally related to that. So I feel like there’s a place for everyone. And I loved you’re talking about their clothes. I love that Sean’s shirt said, Stephen King rules. And it’s it’s it was awesome. They’re just little things like that, and it was very nostalgic as someone who grew up in the eighties, but also because, you know, I feel like this movie could it’s not just horror. It’s hilarious.   There are parts of it that are so funny. And then, you know, with the parents fighting, but they it seems like they love each other. It feels like a real family. There are just so many things that make it relatable. So I think it’s really easy to just, enjoy this movie. 

Craig:  Well, and I think maybe because we all did grow up in the eighties, maybe it makes us kind of nostalgic for a different time. You know, these kids aren’t sitting around playing video games. They’re not on their phones. Not that they’re I’m not saying that our time was better. It was just different. You know, these kids are out hanging out in clubhouses. They’re, riding their bikes, they’re, you know, they’re playing. And and, I I think that I am a little nostalgic for that time. 

Todd:  Yeah. And even to the point where they’re watching a drive in movie from the rooftop, you know. Yeah. 

Kristin:  I love that. 

Todd:  And that’s a really appealing scene. Like, man, I wish I could have sat on the roof and watched the drive in movie through binoculars, but then Your 

Craig:  dad. Yeah. 

Todd:  Yeah. And that was the other thing like Kristen kind of pointed out like, they they care about each other. Even though mom and dad are clearly fighting Todd be fair like, what they’re fighting about seems kinda lame, like, that he’s gone at work all the time and he even points out, well, you kinda signed up for this when you married me. I am a cop. I am gonna get pulled out, and you kind of feel like, well, he does have a point. The whole the whole parental thing, you either have to assume that there’s something else going on there, or it’s just a little bit of a forced plot point that actually goes nowhere. Because it’s not like there’s a Right. Resolution at the end where they learn to love each other again, or they Todd tighter as a family because of the events that happened in the movie.   That just kind of falls off the wayside. But you get that cool scene where even though mom and dad are fighting, mom clearly cares about the kid and dad and and, Sean have some really nice little moments where he gives him some good advice. 

Clip:  I thought you might. 

Kristin:  Well, dad, some of the guys in me will maybe gonna go see Groundhog Day part 12 tonight. Only if it’s okay with you. Is it, please? 

Todd:  Oh, we got a problem. 

Kristin:  No way. 

Clip:  Yes way. I go out with your mother tonight. You got a certain 5 year old sister in these babies. 

Todd:  Oh, come 

Kristin:  on, dad. I’m waiting all year to see this movie. 

Clip:  Easy, pal. It’s only a movie. Look, tomorrow night, you and I go see Groundhog Day. I’ll get him early. 

Kristin:  Tomorrow night? That’ll be too late. The guys will plan the entire plot. 

Clip:  Black? Like, 

Todd:  your plot? Sean, it is a 

Clip:  guy with an ax. 

Todd:  Anyway, I thought they killed him in the last one. 

Kristin:  They did. And he returns from his grave. 

Clip:  He returns from the grave? Giovanni always returns from 

Todd:  the grave. If they blew him up, put his head in a blender, and mail 

Clip:  the rest pieces to Norway, he would still return from the grave. That was part 7. 

Todd:  You wanna know what the plan is? 

Clip:  Is it a plot Todd separate you from my $5? 

Kristin:  I wanna see a stupid movie. 

Clip:  Well, you can’t. You’re babysitting. Fine. 

Todd:  And then his dad, like, lights up a cigarette right there in the house, which I also thought was hilarious. And then he comes up on the roof and joins him just for no reason at all, you know, on the roof to watch this this movie. It’s just so cute and charming. It’s really nice. 

Craig:  It is. I mean, it’s it’s like I said, it’s reminiscent of, like, The Goonies or even something like, Gremlins or something like that. I mean, it’s just even though there’s this scary stuff going on, there’s heart to the movie Todd. And I really enjoy and appreciate that. 

Kristin:  It really reminded me of E. As well. Yeah. And I had I’d seen that movie when I was younger, but I didn’t remember it at all. And so just, like, this past year, I rewatched it. And then, then I realized watching this movie again last night, that there are kinda some throwbacks to ET as well in this movie. So it it has that little feel, but then there’s, like, where Phoebe’s we haven’t quite gotten to Frankenstein very much yet, but where she’s playing kinda dress up with Frankenstein, just reminded me of Drew Barrymore dressing up E. T.   And then when they’re walking on the street, like, all the kids in Frankenstein, there’s the silhouettes of them walking on the street, and it’s just like an ET when they’re walking on the street, and ET’s in the middle with them. So it just has that that feel to it where, you know, there’s it’s supernatural, but it feels so realistic. Like, yeah. It’s any other day, and just just makes you feel good. 

Craig:  Yeah. I made those connections too, and I thought they were really sweet. There are some really sweet movies or moments in this movie. The next I’m trying to get to all the monsters so we can get to the the fun stuff. The the cops, Del and his partner, get called to a museum where a mummy has gone missing, and there’s kind of a funny scene. 

Clip:  And you’re saying you didn’t hear anybody come in here or leave. Is that right? Can you hear me now? Hello? I can hear you fine. So nobody took the money? I would have heard them. 

Todd:  Of course, 

Clip:  he would have. It was a stupid question. What a hard dog. 

Craig:  Did you take him? 

Clip:  No, sir. Just a shot. That’s sick, bro. This case is too hard, man. Let’s be fired instead. 

Todd:  I’m glad you’re get major laughs 

Clip:  out of this, Rich. 

Todd:  The problem is 2000 year old dead guys do not get up and walk away by themselves. 

Craig:  This movie is directed and written, or at least co written by Fred Decker, who also did Night of the Creeps. And, Todd, when we watched Night of the Creeps, I said there’s there’s a line in night of the creeps that is almost word for word this exact same line. Do you remember that? 

Todd:  Yes, I do. And I remember the scene. Yep. 

Craig:  So I don’t know if he was paying a little bit of homage to himself or Yeah. Clearly. If he just really liked the line. Because the scene even mirrors it. Like in that movie, a dead body which ends up being some kind of zombie goes missing and then the cop says that line, 2000 year old dead guys do not get up and walk away by themselves. And then you see that zombie guy walking around on the street. The same exact thing happens here. As soon as he said it doesn’t happen, then we see the mummy lumbering through, the street. 

Todd:  That’s right. 

Kristin:  That’s hilarious. I think it probably was him doing, like, an homage to himself because I was kinda reading about some of these things. And, one of the things was talking about how in the night of the creeps, in one of the scenes, which I haven’t seen that one, I don’t think, there’s some graffiti on the wall that says go monster squad. So I think he was, like, kind of trying to draw attention to his other movies in in newer movies. 

Craig:  So, yeah, the, crate falls out of the airplane and lands in this swamp. And it’s obvious, from where it lands, we we see, Dracula’s cape, which has fallen off him. It’s hanging in a tree, and that’s right next to the kids’ clubhouse. So like you said, pretty convenient that, this would land right in this place. And again, it doesn’t necessarily make a whole lot of sense. Why is the amulet here in this town when we started out in Transylvania? And we get all of the monsters that we’ve met so far. The mummy and the wolf man meet Dracula in the swamp, and Dracula makes some sort of gesture over the water, and the crate starts to rise up out of the water. And we see that it’s actually the creature from the black lagoon lifting it out.   And so now we’ve got our whole collection of monsters. 

Todd:  So is it that the creature from the Black Lagoon was always in this swamp as well? And he just 

Kristin:  rose up. 

Craig:  I have no idea. Maybe okay. You know, if if we’re gonna stretch for logic, maybe the amulet ended up here, and they are somehow all attracted to that, and so they’ve all just kind of congregated here. Maybe they’re in league with ano one another and Dracula, like, emailed them all where to meet or something. And I forgot this is the eighties, so he woulda had to send snail mail. But, one way or another, they all end up there. Meanwhile, back at Sean’s house, the parents are fighting. There was a cute little scene with Phoebe and the mom, which, again, we’ve talked about before how through all of this silliness with the monsters and all that stuff, there runs these little streams of sweet scenes as well.   And we get one of these with, Phoebe and and her mom. Sean is listening to his parents fighting in the kitchen, and he sees that there’s a message for him on the message board by the phone in the kitchen, and it said that a mister a la carte called for him. And being the smart kid that he is, he sits down, and he starts rearranging the letters. And when he flips them around, he sees that alacard is Dracula spelled backwards, and, of course, he gets this look of surprise on his face. We cut to another very cute scene. I’d already mentioned how Eugene is one of my favorite parts of this movie, the little tiny guy Eugene. He goes into his parents’ room, it’s at night, and gets his dad and says, there’s, a mummy in my closet. And the dad takes him back, and it’s really cute.   He does this whole shtick where he’s like, Oh, monster’s under the bed. Get out of there. Get out of there. And he shoos them all away. He says, Are there any more monsters? And cute little Eugene points to his closet, and the dad goes over and swings the closet open so that he’s standing on the other side of the door. He never actually looks in, and the mummy is standing right there. And the dad is just going, oh, look at this big scary monster. Go away, monster.   And he just slams the door and tells the kid that he’s not gonna be sleeping with him and his mom tonight. You know, just these the movie really, I mean, it moves so quickly, and it’s just these little scenes. It’s, it’s almost hard to recap just because things happen so quickly, but, I love that cute little scene, with Eugene. 

Kristin:  I have to interject because the 2 scenes you just talked about are, like, 2 well, the one with Eugene is what I remember most from my childhood. I thought it was hilarious. I the but I it just, like, stuck out to me. And now as a parent, I’m constantly thinking about that when my kids come in and are scared. 

Todd:  I have 

Kristin:  to check everything out. I’m like, I need to really look because I remember that there really was a monster in the closet, and they didn’t see it. But that stuck out to me that stuck out to me as a kid. But the other scene where you were talking about was so sweet with Phoebe and her mom. Uh-huh. Obviously, I have different eyes. I’m not 5 years old when I’m watching it this time around, but I have a 5 year old. And I thought, oh, yeah.   That’s easy to think it’s cute. It’s horrible. The mom is telling her that this candle is gonna protect her from anything bad happening. She lights a candle next to her bed, and the little girl’s kinda scared, and she has her little puppy scruff that she’s holding her stuffed animal. And, she’s like, like, oh, I’m kinda scared of monsters or something like that. And the mom’s, like, nothing bad can happen as long as this candle is lit next to your bed. And and she gives her a hug. I’m like, that’s horrible.   Like, yes, you need to comfort her, but, oh, my goodness. Don’t tell her that candle’s gonna protect her. If anything, it’s a huge fire hazard. 

Todd:  That’s what I’m just saying. 

Craig:  Nothing nothing’s gonna happen except potentially a deadly fire. 

Kristin:  Right. Right. And they had candles all over this house. It was the eighties. I’m pretty sure we had electricity at that time. But, yeah, there were there were candles lit all in that scene where he’s figuring out mister all a card, which I also thought was so funny. Like, he would just sit down and start thinking, a la carte. I bet that smells something else.   I don’t know. But those scenes really stuck out for me as a kid. And then when I saw them again as an adult, I still loved them. 

Craig:  You talk about, you know, Sean. Why would he just automatically think that there was something going on? I don’t know. Sean’s a really smart guy and very, very serious. In the next, scene, he pulls all of his friends together and explains to them that they’ve got big problems. 

Kristin:  I think there’s monsters, like real ones. Heard my dad talking on the telephone to a guy down at the police station. There was a guy screaming he was a werewolf, and they shot him. Then the body disappeared from the corner van. The corner guy was dead. For what? He got shot in a whirl, took his body? No, you peen head. He was a werewolf. Maybe. 

Craig:  But if they shot him 

Kristin:  It must have been regular bullets, not silver ones. Look, I know this does sound pretty stupid, but a mummy disappeared from the museum tonight. Mommy came in my house. And you guys, Dracula might be here too. Oh, man. Fat kid farted. They’re not gonna have to 

Craig:  They take matters into their own hands, and I think that that was just really appealing to me as a kid. It felt really empowering as a kid to think kids could take action and do something. And I still like that. And I still think it’s a good message for kids, even if today our sensitivities are a little bit different and maybe, kids this young wouldn’t be watching it. We cut back to Dracula’s house, and Dracula now has Frankenstein Todd This is another really interesting dynamic in this movie because it seems like Dracula has this genuine affection for Frankenstein. Like, he feels protective of him, and he’s gentle with him. I never really understood why he had him locked in a dungeon. I don’t know if that was for his protection or just to keep him in one place, but he tells, Frankenstein that they need this diary.   They have to have this diary, the diary that Sean has. And he says, children have it. I need you to get it from them, and if you have to, kill them. Sean and, the other boys decide that they need to go get the help of Scary German Guy because he’s the only person they know that speaks German, and they need him to, translate this this book for them. And they have a meeting at Scary German Guy’s house that I want to to talk about because it’s important, but interspersed or intercut between, in between these scenes. There’s a short scene where Phoebe is playing by the edge of the swamp and she’s approached by Frankenstein and she looks up just kind of in surprise and then it cuts away. I love this scene now as an adult because I know that it’s an homage to the original Frankenstein film, where Frankenstein’s monster in that film approached a little girl at a river, I believe it was. And they had a very sweet interaction because this little girl was blind, I believe, and so didn’t recognize him as a monster.   Unfortunately, that scene turned out Frankenstein, they were throwing petals up a flower, I believe, into the water, and when they ran out of petals, Frankenstein picked a little girl up and threw her in the river. 

Kristin:  Oh, no. 

Craig:  That doesn’t happen here, fortunately. But getting back to Scary German Guy’s house, Scary German Guy is really nice and cool and they get him to translate. 

Clip:  The amulet, so nearly as I can translate, is concentrated? Good. It is a talisman which wards off evil and is, how you say, indestructible?   That means it can’t be destroyed.   Once every 100 years at the stroke of midnight, the amulet becomes vulnerable. And at that moment, it can be shattered.   And if it is?   Then the balance between good and evil will shift, and evil will rule. However, our friend, mister Van Helsing, claims there is a way to stop the forces of darkness. 

Todd:  How? 

Clip:  If one could gain possession of the amulet before those forces, then every 100 years at midnight, there is another option. A ceremony, which when followed Todd the letter, will open a hole into limbo itself where dwell the damned. A vortex which, like a great whirlwind, can swallow the forces of evil forever. 

Kristin:  Can I just say that, like, my favorite line was, and this has tomorrow’s date, 100 years ago? Dramatic. But it was so funny. And again, like, I look at everything through new eyes now that I have young kids and, like, kids are such suckers for that kind of thing too. And I can just hear my 8 year old son saying, oh my gosh. What are the odds? Like, thinking that is so cool. And then, of course, watching it as a doll, it’s like, well, isn’t that just convenient? 

Craig:  Hey. That’s funny. Yeah. 

Todd:  Before they leave the house, there’s a a very interesting touch here. 

Craig:  Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 

Todd:  Where, they they’re they’re leaving. And, of course, these kids are in the monster squad. They’re obsessed about monsters, and they immediately have respect for anybody who, you know, is like them. And so they formed this bond with this guy. He I think they turn around and say something like, man, you sure do know a lot about monsters, don’t you? And he says, yeah, I suppose I do, and he closes the door, and as he closes the door, we see that he has a number tattooed onto his arm. 

Craig:  Mhmm. 

Todd:  And that just came out of nowhere and was kind of left there. It was just kind of an an interesting little touch that this guy was actually a holocaust survivor. 

Craig:  Yeah. I’m I’m glad that you brought that up, because I don’t remember when I became aware of the significance of what that was. I I feel like as a kid, I knew at some point, I knew what those numbers meant, but I like that it’s included here Todd. Because even though it’s, you know, it’s blink and you miss it, it it serves as a nice reminder either to adults or to kids that there are real monsters in the world. You know, obviously, we probably, most of us, I would assume, don’t believe in vampires and black lagoon creatures and that type of thing, but there certainly are real monsters, in the world. And I thought that that was a nice, little reminder there, whether it was targeted at the kids or the adults. The boys all come back to the clubhouse and while they’re caught up in talking about their plans, Phoebe shows up and she’s trying to get their attention and when she finally does, they turn around and they see her standing there with Frankenstein. And it’s a hilarious scene where they all just split.   Like, they just take off and run and hide in these ridiculous places like, Fat Kid Jumps in the Garbage Can, and, like, the garbage can lid down over his head. 

Kristin:  They can all be Todd, Like, they’re watching them hide, so they’re not 

Todd:  even Right. 

Craig:  And they’re not more than 10 feet away. Right. Right. But it’s funny, and it’s played for the comedy. It’s really funny. And this is the part, Kristen, that you mentioned already. 

Kristin:  I love it. I love it. I just remember, like, this was my, you know, I was Phoebe in my mind. I used to do that as a kid. I don’t know if all kids do that, but whatever movie we were watching, I would pick out who I was in the movie, and I would announce, I’m Vivi, or I’m whoever. And sometimes sometimes it probably was better than others. Because I can remember in my childhood, we watched festival warehouse in Texas quite often. I would be calling out which prostitute I was.   Whichever one had the prettiest lingerie probably. But anyway, I remember, like, feeling like this is my scene. And, you know, when she yells at the big tough brother and, his friends, come on, guys. Don’t be chicken shit. And, you know, she’s not scared, and she’s made friends with Frankenstein. I remember just really loving that. 

Craig:  That that was It’s adorable. It is. 

Todd:  And it’s an interesting reversal because seeing the throwback to the Frankenstein scene beforehand, you’re expecting the worst. You know? Right. And in this case, it turns out not to be so. But it would be kind of interesting to see how their friendship formed. I feel like there’s probably a missing scene in here somewhere where where Frankenstein realized that, instead of killing the kids, and doing what Dracula wanted Todd to do, that he needs to befriend them, because it happens almost instantly. 

Kristin:  Yeah. It does. 

Craig:  It it Todd. But it I I think that what we’re supposed to kinda take away from this is that, Frankenstein really is just a gentle giant. And it’s been years years since I’ve read Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, but if I remember correctly, the monster is really kind of the victim in the story. Like, he didn’t ask for any of this, and it’s only because he’s rejected and treated with anger and violence that he responds accordingly. And so I like that element of this movie, that, Frankenstein looks different, he looks scary, but he’s not. He’s a good guy. And there’s another, they take him up into the clubhouse, but somebody, I think it’s Rudy, hands him they’ve got all this awesome memorabilia all around their clubhouse, but Rudy hands him this mask, this old Frankenstein mask. And he picks it up, and he looks at it, and then he throws it down and he touches his own face and just looks at the kids and says, Scary? And it’s sad.   You feel bad for 

Todd:  this guy. 

Craig:  And then, Kristen, you already mentioned right after this is that adorable scene where they are just you can just see them from behind in silhouette kind of walking into, the sunset, and and Phoebe’s holding Frankenstein’s hand. And of course, here he is probably 7 or more feet tall, and she’s maybe, I don’t know, 3 feet tall, and And they’re all just walking together, and it’s just so cute. So many sweet moments in this movie. Right after that, there’s just this really quick scene where Dracula finds the amulet behind this wall of this house that he’s been in the whole time, so we know exactly now where it is. And then, another one of my favorite parts of this movie, it’s the 80s, so there has to be a montage moment. And there’s Yeah, 

Kristin:  I love it. 

Craig:  There’s this great montage of the club, the monster squad, prepping for what they’re gonna have to do. And there’s this great song in the background. I’ve never heard this song anywhere outside of this movie. I’m sure I that I don’t, you know, it’s probably some nobody band, but it I love this song that’s playing in the background, and we see all this preparation. So Rudy makes, steaks in the woodshop. Phoebe spends her day playing with Frankenstein and dressing him up in cute little, like, Eugene, the little tiny guy, writes notes to the army guys. Army guys, there are monsters. Come help.   He mails off his letters. Patrick makes business cards for the monster squad. Rudy makes silver bullets apparently in, I guess, medals. Honestly, 

Todd:  Rudy’s Rudy’s, like, the most useful of this whole group, actually. He seems to have access to the to the most dangerous tools. You’re right. Great. I think that song was written for the movie. It’s not the best song in the world, but but when I was going through the credits at the end, I could see that the same people who wrote that song are the same people who wrote the Monster Squad rap song that’s at the end, which also is not the best song in the world. Right. 

Craig:  Oh my god. I love them both. I think they’re amazing. 

Todd:  With the monster squad. Oh my Todd. 

Kristin:  Yeah. It’s pretty awesome. 

Craig:  Dracula has, the guy who is the werewolf drugged in the house because during the day he’s still a human being, but actually, the guy has him fooled. He hasn’t really swallowed the sedatives. So when Dracula leaves, he breaks out, and he goes and he calls Dell. Now I don’t know how he would have got Dell’s phone number or how he knows all of this plan. I guess Dracul Dracula’s just been very transparent about his plan, but he tells he tells Dell he’s gonna kill your son. And then right at that moment, he transforms back into the wolf man. Rudy and Patrick, get Patrick’s sister, the girl, from the window, and very awkwardly ask her, is she a virgin? Which would be awkward for, I suppose, maybe an 8, 9 year old kid to be asking his teenage sister. So she’s gonna help them out.   The rest of the squad, which consists of Sean, Fat Kid, and I feel so bad calling him that, but that’s what they call 

Todd:  him too. That’s what 

Kristin:  they call him, the wrong cookies. 

Craig:  Sean, Fat Kid, and Eugene are at Dracula’s house, and they are going in presumably to look for the amulet. They’ve got frank Frankenstein with him Todd, and he is supposed to be their muscle. So, they they go inside, and as soon as they get in there, Dracula hears them. He’s down in the basement, I guess, and he sets off this bomb. I’m not really sure what the purpose of this bomb was. I don’t know if it was a booby trap or what, but it it’s effective because it causes part of the house to collapse and it lands on Frankenstein, so Frankenstein’s kind of out of the picture. So they’re standing in this hallway, and Sean is on one end of the hallway, Eugene and Fat Kid are on the other end, and the wolf man jumps out in between them. And this is probably the scene that most people remember from this movie, the most iconic line from the movie. 

Todd:  I’m taking them in the dark. I’m taking them in the dark. I’m taking them in the dark. Because they’re not 

Kristin:  Debate is over. 

Craig:  Bringing this movie up to anybody who knows it, and that’s probably the first thing you’re gonna hear. And it’s it’s a great line. 

Kristin:  So many great lines are coming up. Like, I just I was taking notes on my favorite lines and they all just happened in the end. There’s so many great one liners. It’s so like, the action is going, but they still take time to be really funny in all of these scenes too. I love it. 

Craig:  The 3 boys, take off, but they get cornered. They’re in this long corridor, and on one side of them is Dracula. On the other side of them are some brides of Dracula who we just recently, saw for the first time. But they pull a secret lever and end up down in the basement where the amulet is. Sean goes in and gets the amulet, but when he comes back out, Dracula’s waiting for him and grabs him. But fat kid, knowing, you know, how you defeat vampires, opens up a piece of pizza that he apparently had in his pocket. 

Kristin:  Because with a name like fat kid, you gotta have pizza in your pocket. 

Todd:  Was it pizza? I I for some reason 

Kristin:  It was pizza. 

Todd:  Oh, okay. I I wanted to think it was garlic bread because that that makes a little bit more sense. 

Kristin:  It was totally a piece of pizza. 

Todd:  Oh, my gosh. 

Craig:  It was pizza, and he puts it on Dracula’s face, which burns him because of the garlic. And so they run out and get away. They run out to the road and, again, coincidentally and fortunately, scary German guy shows up in a car and he’s got Phoebe, Rudy, Patrick, and Patrick’s sister with him. They decide that they need to go somewhere where there’s a lot of people and Patrick suggests a church. There’s an old church in the town square, so that’s where they’re gonna go. They take off, but the mummy jumps out in the road, in front of them, And scary German guy swerves away, but the mummy is able to grab onto the back of, the car, and he’s just hanging there on the back of the car. And this is another scene that I just thought was hilarious because Phoebe just shrieks for the next, like, 45 seconds as this mummy is, like, right in her face and the rest of them are trying to figure out what to do. Rudy takes out the bow and arrow that he has, and he has Patrick get him, a piece of the wolf man’s bandages.   He ties it to the, end of the arrow and shoots it into a tree, and we get to watch the mummy then slowly unravel until there’s nothing left of him but his skull. 

Kristin:  Oh oh, and here’s one of my favorite lines. Yeah. Don’t skip it. See you later, 

Craig:  Band Aid breath. As it turns out, Dracula is on his way to, Sean’s house. And again, I’m not really sure why. The motivation’s not really clear, but it’s scary. He goes, to Sean’s house, and he takes a big thing of dynamite, and he throws it into their clubhouse and blows it up. Right then, Dell and his partner show up. Dell gets out and draws his gun on Dracula, but Dracula’s not at all concerned. He lights another stick of dynamite, throws it under the cop car, and blows it up with the partner in it.   Yeah. I mean, there’s some pretty dark stuff going on here. I think that we were just less sensitive to those things in the eighties. Right. But he’s dead. 

Todd:  I was surprised by that. I was really surprised by that. But then I was also surprised by the fact that Dracula’s got this cache of dynamite that he’s using. Like, you’ve got all these monsters, and you’ve got what Todd you do when you’re having Dracula just throw dynamite around everywhere? Like, what the heck is that? Did I miss that from the walk of the movie somehow? I don’t know. 

Craig:  Yeah. And, I mean, it’s just, like, these big sticks of dynamite, like, you know, that you would that one would have laying out in the house. 

Todd:  Yeah. The Wile E. Coyote would have. Yeah. 

Craig:  Right. Right. At this point, the mom has come out on the porch, and and Dell shoots Dracula several times, but of course nothing happens. And and Dracula, before transforming into a bat, says, I will have your son. And then he flies off and takes off. Dell runs inside and gets on the walkie talkie and calls Sean, and and Sean has a walkie talkie. And so Sean fills him in on the plan. And so everybody now is converging in the town square, and this is really where the big finale takes place.   And it’s a lot of fun. It happens really fast. There’s nobody around really in this town square. It’s late at night. Scary German guy gets the sister reading. And the sister, of course, is freaked out because, hello, monsters, but she’s also pretty stupid. The reason that they asked her is because she takes German in high school, but she’s, she says something like, I’m failing German. Scary German guy just starts reading it for her, and she’s repeating it, but she’s doing it terribly.   Meanwhile, the brides show up. Rudy takes them out 1 by 1 with, the bow and arrow. Dracula shows up in bat form and starts swooping right towards Sean, but Dell, the dad, shows up and shoots the bat, and the bat goes flying into the church. The dad somehow gets into the church, even though it was locked a few minutes before, and he goes upstairs, and there’s this really cool image where it, the bullets have not killed Dracula, but for some reason getting shot in his bat like form has temporarily injured him or something because when the dad finds him, he seems to be injured and he’s like half transformed. So he’s like half man half bat. And it’s a really kinda creepy, gross, image. Yeah. 

Kristin:  It’s really creepy because then he’s like he’s like human he’s a big tall guy, and he’s more of a human size, but has this weird bat Todd. And I remember that being really super creepy to me as a kid, and it was still creepy to me as an adult too. 

Craig:  Yeah. I think that I’ve mentioned that Stan Winston did all these creature effects. And Stan Winston, of course, is amazing, so it’s it should be no surprise that, that this looks so cool, but, it does. The wolf man comes in and fights with the dad, but then Sean shows up, and somehow Sean has dynamite too? Maybe maybe he snatched it off of Dracula, I don’t know. But he, lights a stick of dynamite, sticks it in the wolf man’s pants, and I think that the dad kicks the wolf man out the window, and he blows up. But they’ve already discussed this earlier in the movie that there’s only really one way to kill a werewolf. So, we see all the bits and pieces of the werewolf in the street, but then they kinda start to rumble, and they pull back together, and he is fine, and together again. We go back to the scary German guy and And then, Kristen, would you care to look at this sun lighter? And then, Kristen, would you care to be able to get this sun lighter? 

Kristin:  Oh, gosh. I don’t even remember that part because the next line that I never noticed as a kid was so funny to me as an adult. But I I remember that that somebody says, I thought you were a virgin. And she says something like, well, Steve, but he doesn’t count. Steve. So they find out they find out that, she’s not a virgin. And then I think she says something like, well, why doesn’t he just do it or something talking about scary German guy. And one of the boys, it’s either Patrick or Rudy says, yeah, he’s not a virgin.   And I just love she goes, did you ask him? Okay. I found that more hilarious this time. 

Todd:  Well, let’s talk about how any one of those kids, any one of those boys could have had this too. 

Kristin:  And why didn’t they think of Phoebe at the beginning? Like, I guess because they were just thinking, hey, my sister takes German. Maybe that was it. But I thought, well, surely they know that this 5 year old girl is a virgin, and probably all of them. I it may have had to have been a girl. I don’t know. 

Todd:  Yeah. I mean, I think that’s applied. Anytime there’s a horror movie that involves a virgin, it always is a female virgin. Right? Right. But but also, I’m not even sure that they all quite understand what a virgin is, because isn’t the next bit one of the kids turns around and points to Phoebe and says, is she a virgin? Like, he doesn’t know. Right? 

Kristin:  Yeah. Yeah. That’s true. 

Craig:  And it’s little Eugene, so it would make sense that he wouldn’t know. Oh, that’s true. But but you’re right. You know, I read about this online. There were like message boards and things saying that exact thing that you just said. Why wouldn’t they realize that it couldn’t have been anyone? My theory is that all of their knowledge of monsters comes from these monster movies, these classic monster movies. And in all of those movies, it’s always a young woman. You know, like a teenager or a 20 something woman. 

Kristin:  Right. 

Craig:  So I think that they were just going based on what they knew, and so they didn’t consider themselves and they didn’t consider Phoebe because that’s not what they seen in these movies. So he starts saying the, incantation, and and Phoebe is repeating him, doing much better job than Patrick’s sister was doing. The cops show up, and they try to fight the werewolf, but, of course, everything is, not working because they don’t have silver bullets. Rudy, however, does. So he pulls out his gun and shoots the werewolf, and as the werewolf transforms back into his manly state and he actually says to Rudy, thank you, before he dies, and then he does die. Then the creature from the black lagoon is menacing in the street and he’s advancing upon Fat Kid. Fat Kid runs to the Burger King on the square and the bully, EJ, and his friends are in there and he knocks on the door and he’s like, let me in. 

Kristin:  It’s gotta be his 

Todd:  Yeah. Oh, Burger King got some serious product placement in this movie. 

Kristin:  Yeah. They 

Todd:  did. Along with Adidas in the, the werewolf fighting scene that you mentioned earlier and and all the Pepsi that they drink.   That’s funny. 

Craig:  Burger King is very prominent in this square, so I did notice that. 

Clip:  Oh, yeah. 

Craig:  The bullies won’t let Fat Kid in, so he grabs, a rifle from one of the fallen policemen. And as the creature black lagoon approaches him, he shoots him in the chest and he’s dead. I mean, he just takes out the creature like that. And, EJ comes out and says something like, hey, back in. Good job. 

Kristin:  My name is Horace. 

Craig:  And then my very favorite part of this whole movie. Dracula is restored. He’s apparently feeling fine again. And he is just walking down the street very slowly towards German scary German guy and Phoebe as they continue, to try to finish this incantation. And the cops are trying to fight him off. He’s breaking cops’ necks. I mean, just a steady walk towards them, not being fazed by these other cops or anything. And then poor little tiny Phoebe is just standing there and he walks right up to her, and she’s holding the amulet.   He grabs her by the chin, picks her up so that by her chin, so that they are face to face, and he says, give me the amulet, you bitch. And in that moment, his eyes kind of light up a little bit more red, his fangs kind of sharpen a little bit. He looks really scary, and Phoebe just screams at the top of her lungs. And it’s so effective. And I think that the reason that it’s effective is because the actor who played Dracula didn’t let this little girl see what his makeup was going to look like or see the effects that were going to happen in this scene. And the director told her, in this scene, you’re gonna need to scream. And she said, when? And the director just said, you’ll know. But when he delivered that line and his face got so scary, that was her genuine reaction.   I mean, it was a genuine reaction of terror. And, it’s such a good part of the movie. 

Kristin:  Meanwhile, this poor girl’s in therapy still because it was terrifying. That was, like, I was kind of talking about how Dracula looked a little cheese Volley to me, in the beginning in the movie. But that was and I don’t know if it’s just because, you know, he used I watched this when I was a kid and he used such strong language talking to this 5 year old that it was, like, woah, he is serious and he doesn’t care how old you are. He’s gonna kill you. It was terrifying. 

Todd:  Yeah. It’s true. Yeah. But he’s still a gentleman because it’s not like he, you know, he politely well, not politely. But he asked for the amulet instead of just ripping it out of her hand, which I’m pretty sure he was capable of doing. 

Craig:  So Phoebe’s screaming, but then it’s Frankenstein to the rescue. He grabs Dracula and throws him on the fence of the church, which, you know, if we know monster stuff, we know that’s not gonna take him out because it’s not a wooden stake, but he’s there for the meantime. Scary German guy and Phoebe finish the incantation and the vortex opens, and things start getting sucked in. And Dracula Sean is standing, I guess, kind of in the street and Dracula, I guess, has gotten himself off of this, stake, and he grabs Sean, and they’re on the ground together, and they’re both getting pulled into this vortex. Sean grabs, I don’t know what it was, I don’t remember, something wooden and sharp off the street and stakes Dracula. And then this is the only part of the movie that even as a kid I thought was pretty cheesy. Van Helsing shows up. I guess Van Helsing must have gotten sucked into the vortex in the beginning, and now he’s been able to come back out to help out.   He grabs Dracula and he’s holding around his chest and they’re both getting sucked into the vortex, and Van Helsing just gives Sean a great big old thumbs up. Al, you did it. And, okay, so then we go to that cornball moment Todd the moment in the movie that literally makes me cry. Now, it doesn’t take much to make me cry, to be fair. But, But, Frankenstein is getting sucked towards the vortex and Phoebe is huddled behind this park bench that I guess must be screwed to the ground or something so it’s not getting pulled. And Frankenstein’s reaching towards her and she’s reaching towards him and she’s just saying, Don’t go. Don’t go, Frankenstein. Please don’t go.   And he’s saying Phoebe and reaching for her, and I think they get a Todd of each other’s hands a little bit, but then he gets sucked in, and she takes her little stuffed animal scraps that she’s had with her in every scene, and tosses it to him. And, Todd, that that it I mean, it’s, you know, it’s goofy, it’s a cheese ball movie, but that part got me. I just thought it was so sad. Poor Frankenstein was a good guy all along, and now he has to get sucked into limbo, with all the rest of the, the rest of the monsters. 

Todd:  Yeah. With that buddy to forever remind him of what he left behind. 

Kristin:  Scraps. But scraps, I’ll have you know, Phoebe wore scraps in a belt through the whole movie. Like, she had this belt and she stuck her little stuffed animal. And I I think I did that. My stuffed animals after watching that, or I thought it was like a backpack. I just knew that I had to have that, like, the stuffed animal that could be on my body, like Phoebe wore. 

Craig:  That’s cute. Well then, it’s just the end. We have a sweet little family reunion. Todd, you kind of said earlier that, there wasn’t really any resolution to their family problems, and I feel like there is. I feel like this this traumatic experience that they’ve gone through kind of brings them together. In the end, we see, Sean and Phoebe and, the mom and the dad embracing one another as a full family. And I remember thinking as a kid that maybe this was going to be the thing that brought the parents back together. I don’t know if that’s true.   I don’t know if that’s just me being sentimental or what. But then the army arrives, and I love this. The guy, the general or whoever he is, pulls out Eugene’s letter. Alright. Where are they? Where are the monsters? 

Todd:  I love that scene. I thought it was hilarious. And for for a few reasons of obviously, like, that Eugene’s letter actually brought the army. Second of all, it was kinda cute that, like, even Eugene’s letter turned out to be helpful. You know, that was kinda nice.   Right.   And the third thing is, whatever they they’re portraying the army just like they do in those old b movies. Like, this guy is like he just came off of the World War 2 battlefield. He’s got his helmet on, and he’s chopping on a cigar. 

Craig:  Yeah. Oh, yeah. And they roll up in tanks 

Kristin:  They have a tank. Yeah. 

Todd:  Down the street.   I 

Craig:  think the army guy says something like, who’s in charge here? And Sean steps up and says, I am. And he says, Well, who are you? And Sean hands him one of the cards and says, We’re the monster squad. And then the amazing Cue 

Kristin:  the rap song. 

Craig:  Cue the rap song. 

Todd:  Oh, and 

Craig:  it’s so good. Readers, listeners, I know you’re going to side with me on this one. This is a classic song here at the end. 

Todd:  Oh, man. 

Kristin:  Oh my gosh. It is funny. It’s very funny. 

Todd:  It was a prerequisite, though. Like, every movie, like, there was a period of time there for a good decade where every movie had to end with the rap song playing. 

Craig:  Yeah. With the title of the movie in it. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I usually try to find some trivia on these movies. I didn’t find a whole lot for this one. Sadly, one of the only things that I found was that the actor who portrayed Fat Kid, died, I think, of pneumonia in 1997.   The movie didn’t get, it was basically a flop, when it was released into theaters, and it had a really short release because it didn’t do well. It wasn’t until it came out on home video that it really found a cult following. And I was kind of surprised to hear that because this was a movie that I remember talking about with people as a kid, and that I remember watching with my friends and my cousins and stuff, and everybody that I knew and everybody that I watched it with loved this movie. But maybe it just Todd, you know, the video store shelves to get it circulating. 

Todd:  Well, I remember the hype around this movie. And that’s why I thought I had seen it, you know, until I actually popped it in and realized, no, I was confusing it with Little Monsters, and I’d never seen it. So but but there was a lot of hype. I mean, there was the Burger King tie in. I remember that. I even found online an Adidas poster, like, that they might have had, like, shoe stores or something, and it’s so hilarious. It’s got all the monsters there, and it says the boys are back. At this time, they’re wearing Adidas.   And they Oh, buddy. I’m gonna post it on the on the site. It’s too funny. 

Craig:  Yeah. Dude. 

Todd:  But like, I think that prob this should have been like The Goonies of monster movies. And I the only thing I can think of is that I think this movie was rated PG 13, which would have totally limited the audience that could have gone to see it. Right. You know, or at least might have given parents pause and might have made it a little less. Plus, it wasn’t Steven Spielberg, so you got that Todd, I 

Craig:  suppose. Right. 

Todd:  Right. But 

Craig:  Yeah. I don’t know. I mean, I I think it’s pretty obvious how I feel about this movie. And Kristen, it seems I’m I’m happy to hear that you still have such fond memories of it, because I know there were some movies that I made you watch that you were not so fond of. But, Todd, 

Kristin:  I do Yeah. There were a lot. There were a lot. But I do like this one, and I liked it. I liked it again this time. I mean, I haven’t watched it since we were kids, but I really liked it, and I appreciate it in different ways. But, yeah, it’s good. So, Todd, what do you think? 

Todd:  Yeah. Yeah. You know, I really thought it was charming as a kid’s movie. And, obviously, like and and again, it’s a time capsule of the eighties. Like, I can forgive so much stuff because of the era it was done in and the fact that it’s aimed for kids. Okay. All those coincidences or whatever, that’s fine. That’s fine.   You know, what are you gonna do? But I was really impressed, again, by the fact that they pulled no punches in, like, what you were saying earlier, Craig, about the the real danger that these kids are in. And the creature effects are so damn good. 

Craig:  Yeah. They’re great. 

Todd:  These monsters could be in any, like, serious horror film, and maybe the best one is that creature from the Black Lagoon. Like, man, if he could have had more screen time, because Yeah. That is the best creature for the black lagoon makeup I have seen in a really long time. I mean, his Yeah. 

Kristin:  It was really Todd. 

Todd:  He moves and he’s slimy, and and scaly, and, oh my gosh, was that good. But, yeah, you know, there’s gore in it, there’s some blood, and I think maybe all of that probably combined to give it that PG 13 rating, which probably, maybe all of that just kind of explains why it, maybe parents shied away from it a little bit. I don’t know it, I don’t know if that would be enough, but it’s the only theory I have, because otherwise, I, if I had seen this movie when you guys had seen this movie, I would have just as many fond memories of it, as you do. And this would 

Craig:  the their kids, even if they wait and maybe show it to them when they’re a little bit older. This is the type of movie that I think, if they ever remade it, which of course pretty much seems inevitable, with any movie these days, I just don’t think that it would have the same charm. I I can’t imagine, and I could be surprised, and I’d be willing to give it a shot, but I I kinda hope that instead people can just appreciate the charm of the original. 

Todd:  There’d be a cynicism about it Todd, you know? There’d be a lot of, like, nudging and winking, and the kids would probably be a little more crass and a little more knowing and a little more, I don’t know, adult. And it it you’re right. It just wouldn’t have the same flavor. Maybe we’re gonna come back to seeing more kids movies and things that aren’t always winking at the audience, but just go straight forward with the heart, you know, and the honesty and the, yep, this is what we’re doing, and this is what it’s about, and just deal with it that this movie has. And and I think kids like that. I mean, I think kids appreciate that. And and, you know, I think that the monster squad belongs on your shelf right next to, Best Little Horror House in Texas. You know? That’s good.   Positive movies to show your children. 

Kristin:  Yeah. It it certainly was in our house. 

Todd:  You know what? It’s so funny that I learned this today because I kid you not, it was also in our house. My my mom loved the best Little Horror House in Texas, and I started watching that into from, like, 5 years old. 

Kristin:  Oh, yeah. We did too. Yeah. 

Craig:  Oh, the good old days. 

Kristin:  Right? Right? But I do I do look forward to sharing these types of movies with my kids. I just know they’re not there yet. We watched ET together, which I know is not a horror movie, but, like, you know, my my daughter who’s 5 is less scared by things than my son is. But he’s like at that age, you know, he’s 8 where he’s starting Todd, like, I think he knows, like, other boys think it’s cool, like, creepy things are cool. And so he started reading these, like, scary stories, but then at night it becomes a problem, and he’s totally scared of zombies. And so I was thinking about, like, when I could watch this movie with him, and then I can’t remember what it was, but we were talking about something, and, like, it might have been kind of scary. We’re reading through all the Harry Potters and watching them. So maybe it’s something about that.   But he said, I don’t know if I could do that, mom. And I said, why? And he goes, because of my condition? I said, what condition? 

Todd:  Zombies? 

Kristin:  But I thought it was so hilarious. And I was like, okay. We’re not there yet. But someday, we will. He will be exposed to these movies from my childhood, and he’ll probably roll his eyes at me. Who knows? He may be in high school, but I will make my children watch these movies. 

Todd:  What is condition passes? Yes. 

Craig:  Alright. Well, thank you for listening to another episode of 2 Guys and a Chainsaw. If you like this episode, we have tons of back episodes. You can find us on iTunes and Stitcher. We’re on Facebook. Please feel free to let us know what you think. Let us know if there are any movies that you would like for us to see. Kristen, thank you very much for being our guest.   It was a pleasure. 

Kristin:  Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. This was a lot of fun. 

Craig:  And so until next time, I’m Craig, 

Todd:  and I’m Todd 

Craig:  with 2 Guys and a Chainsaw.