Little Monsters (2019)

Little Monsters (2019)

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We’re taking our 367th episode to celebrate our 366th! Why, you may ask? Because at 366, you now have enough episodes to watch an episode a day for a full year – even on a leap year.

To christen this milestone, we chose this Hulu-exclusive that came out around the pandemic days. It’s a charming little zom-com that isn’t afraid to pop a handful of zombie children in there. Very reminiscent of Cooties, and fun for the whole family, really. More or less. Just don’t confuse it with the Fred Savage / Howie Mandel film of the same name.

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Little Monsters (2019)

Episode 367, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd. 

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: Well, Craig, we have come to our 367th episode. It is a special day for us. We’ve been talking about this for about a month now, right? Our 365th episode was two weeks ago. You know, I think I had said to you, oh man, we missed doing our Wes Craven special for like the 350th episode.

Like the 350th just blew right by us. We didn’t even notice. Yeah. And you were like, that’s okay. 365 is more important to me. Yeah. 365. 366 if it’s a leap year. It means you can listen to an episode every single day out of the year, even if it’s a leap year. So we thought we would take our 367th episode to do something a little special to us anyway and celebrate that we have come this far and hopefully we’ll have another 366 episodes ahead of us.

But this is the beginning. Of a new year, in a way. That’s true. Right? It’s like, happy new year, Craig. Happy, 

Craig: happy new year to 

Todd: you. It’s hard to believe, isn’t it? 

Craig: Yeah. It, I don’t know. You know, the older I get, the, the more quickly time just seems to fly by. I mean, it does feel like we’ve been doing this for a long time, but…It’s hard to wrap my head around that I’ve even seen 367 movies. 

Todd: Right? That is a lot 

Craig: of hours that we have put into this. And let’s, let’s be real. A lot of our episodes go over so more than 367 hours, not including, not including many soads, not including like special interviews and stuff like that. Yeah.

Todd: That’s, that’s crazy. We can’t even remember all the movies we’ve done. Oh no. We’ll bring movies up, we’ll be like, Did we do that? I can’t remember. Gotta go to the website and check. How lame is that? But some of that’s because we’re getting older too, yeah. 

Craig: I guess. But it’s fun though. You know, every, It’s, it’s kinda, I don’t know, it’s kinda cool to have something like this scheduled every week.

And at this point, we’ve done all of our favorite movies. Movies for the most part. Mm hmm. There are there are maybe a couple we haven’t done I don’t know like have we we I know that you’re just dying to do the exorcist that that’s Have we ever done the original Poltergeist? 

Todd: We haven’t no. Yeah, see so it’s a big one for both of us.

So there’s still a few out there there are still a few 

Craig: out there’s a few of our favorites that we haven’t done, but We’re kind of in a place now where every week we’re seeing something that neither of us have seen before. Yeah. And that’s, that’s fun. Now this week is kind of an exception because the movie that we’re doing this week is one that I saw during COVID lockdown.

And I watched it with Alan and I liked it so much and he did too. And I mentioned it to you. Uh, around that time. But then I just kind of kept putting it off. Every time you would ask what I wanted to do, it was always in the back of my mind. But for some reason, I think I like this movie so much that I was worried.

Todd: That I would hate it? No, not that you would hate it, but like That you’d have to spend an hour defending it? No, 

Craig: that I won’t be able to do it justice. Ah, yeah. I think it was what I was worried about. I’m excited. Yes. Because I watched it again, and I loved it again, and I’m super excited. Well, the 

Todd: movie is, uh, Little Monsters from 2019.

Not to be confused with Little Monsters, the Fred Savage and Howie Mandel movie, which, by the way, is the movie I assumed you were talking about when you brought this up. In fact, we’re so lucky that I happened to mention it one more time and you caught me, because I would have come here prepared to talk about that movie.

And you know 

Craig: what? That would have been fine. I’ve seen that movie so many times. Yeah. It even like Reese, I watched it recently. So if, if we had made that mistake, yeah, I did. It’s really good. It was, it was on one of the free, uh, streaming services and it still holds up. I think it’s a great movie that we should do.

We will do it sometime when we get around. I’d love to do another gateway horrors. month. Someday. We talk about these months all the time. We’ll see. Um, but that would be, that would be a good, that would be a good one. But no, this one is a 2019s and I don’t remember seeing any ad campaign for this movie. I don’t remember seeing a trailer for it.

I think it just popped up on Hulu and the cover features the star of the movie, well, the female lead of the movie, Lupita Nyong’o, who on top of being a brilliant actress is maybe the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen in my life. Uh, she’s just stunningly, stunningly beautiful. And so, uh, and I’ve liked her in everything I’ve seen her in, so that was enough for me.

Um, and I talked Alan into it, and we watched it, and I was blown away. Because you know that I’m not a big zombie. movie fan. Yeah, for sure. Of all of the sub genres, that’s probably my least favorite. And this is 100 percent a gross zombie movie. Mm hmm. But, it’s also one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen.

Todd: It’s a sweet, cute movie. I, I, I think the reason why I hadn’t heard of it and you hadn’t really seen much about it, even when it came out, is because it was on a stre it was like an ex a streaming service exclusive. Uh huh. So many of these movies, Especially the ones up on Shudder. Like, if you didn’t have Shudder, you wouldn’t know about them.

That’s true. This one surprises me, though, because of the names in it. You’ve got Lupito Nyong’o, which, by this time, she had already done, I think, 12 Years a Slave, Black Panther, Star Wars. Star Wars. Yeah, she was right in the middle of, I think, between the second and last Star Wars of the three. She was about to do Us, and that was starting to get some excitement behind it.

So, there’s no reason why, on the strength of her alone, this wouldn’t have been able to garner more interest. And then… Josh Gad, who, I don’t know, maybe not everybody recognizes his face, but he, especially at this point, up and coming rising star with Disney. He was, what, LeFou in, um, the Beauty and the Beast live action, which I really liked, Olaf in Frozen.

I think, was he doing Book of Mormon at this time on Broadway or not? Yeah, 

Craig: well, it was probably, he had done it. That had been a while ago, but he had done it. He originated one of those roles, and he’s great. He’s a, he’s a really funny… Guy. Good singer. 

Todd: Yeah. Well, he plays so against type in this movie, that actually it was the director I read an interview with the director, Abe Forsyth, and he said he was really taking a risk by taking this on because he is 100 percent against type in this film and here he was building this, um, you know, career as this Disney guy.

Uh huh. It didn’t seem to hurt him at all. I think he’s doing fine. 

Craig: Oh no, he’s doing fine. In fact, he is currently in his second season of a television show called, uh, Wolf Like Me. Which is, uh, this director. It’s the same guy. Yeah. Do 

Todd: you know anything about this? Have you seen it? 

Craig: It’s been on my list to watch forever, and I haven’t gotten around to it, and I didn’t know until we did this.

That it was this guy, Abe Forsyth, who’s the writer and director of this movie. Is also, I don’t know if he writes it, directs it, if he’s just the showrunner, I don’t know. But it’s his show, uh, and Josh Gad is, uh, the lead, I think. 

Todd: Yeah, it is. And Abe Forsythe himself has done quite a few things. He’s worked as an actor, also as a writer director of many, many things.

Previous to this, he got a lot of good press for a movie called Down Under. Which, uh, was also a bit of a comedy, tread similar ground as far as, kind of, there’s like a, sort of a male chauvinistic douchebag character in it, but it was a little more 

Craig: dark. Well, all I know about Wolf Like Me is that it is a werewolf show, so like, it’s at The very least horror adjacent.

That’s why it’s been, uh, on my list and, and knowing now that it’s this guy, I’m totally into it because, or I’m going to be, because this movie, there are so many good things about it, but I, I think that one of the things is that it’s written so well and it’s so well balanced in terms of there is the gross out zombie stuff.

The zombies look Amazing. Yeah, like they’re they’re disgusting and the makeup is is brilliant. It’s so good, but then it’s also Got we should probably just get into talking about it. Cuz yeah, 

Todd: probably Well, it was an Oscar winning makeup team, by the way that did those zombies and they You know, definitely took a pay cut, uh, in order to do this movie just because they loved it so much.

And I also read that the zombies were all unpaid extras. Yeah, there were thousands of extras in this movie. And uh, they just went out, um, and just did a big call for extras saying, Hey, just play a zombie in this movie. And uh, they went to a zombie walk in Sydney and the crew members handed out flyers to people and just got a thousand or so interested folks and uh, got their zombie makeup applied by Oscar winning makeup guys.

So you know. I would totally do that. That would have been a blast, right? So it was, it’s a lower budget movie, but clearly a labor of love. Got a pretty strong cast and a very experienced and excellent writer director behind it, so. 

Craig: It really doesn’t look low budget. It doesn’t. It’s shot really nicely. I feel like there are like crane shots and stuff.

Oh yeah! Or maybe there um, maybe there are drone shots. That’s probably a little bit cheaper. Yeah, that’s how it’s all done these days. It, it, it had a very limited run, like for a week or two weeks or something. Um, it, it premiered at a festival and then different distributors bought it for different.

continents, but Hulu got it here. That’s why it says Hulu original. Well, the 

Todd: movie, when you talk about the budget and how it looks, and everything we’re saying about it, it is so similar to Cooties. You remember Cooties? Yeah, I do. It’s sort of like Cooties in tone and style, even like cinematography and degree of comedy and star power.

It just, you know, it’s just take those kids and make them six years younger and you’ve got this movie. Cuz cooties took place at an elementary school and this takes place with literal five year olds like all of the kids in this movie are five years 

Craig: old very very similar, but Even more so tonally, it was giving me Final Girls, because I cried at least twice in this movie.

Todd: You’re such a sap. 

Craig: It’s in my notes, and I’m crying. 

Todd: We’ll be fun. At the 

Craig: end, I won’t spoil anything, but she cries. And I’m cryin with her. Laughter

Todd: It’s cute. I don’t know if we were really crying in Cooties to be fair. It’s definitely not exactly like that in its message. And the director really sought out to make this movie like this. He wanted a sweet movie that had something to say about what kids can teach us and shielding the kids from the dangers of the world and also, but he wanted things in a more honest way than he had done before.

Because he had done some of these Judd Apatow esque kind of characters, is what he calls them, you know, these kind of douchey male guys who eventually, by the end of the movie, have to sort of change and grow up, you know? And he said that that’s always struck him as a little false, like… He didn’t ever really buy that, that character switch by the end of those movies and he wanted to have a, a, a movie where this guy actually seemed to go through a genuine change and this is the other guy, we haven’t even talked about him, but it’s, the movie’s basically three adults and a bunch of kids, uh, and he is Alexander England and I, he’s a, um, Australian actor and he’s done a lot of stuff, just nothing new.

Terribly big, at least that I know of. Alien Covenant, he was 

Craig: in that. Oh right, yes, he was. Uh, yeah. He’s Dave, and Dave is that guy that you just described. Like, and I think another strength of this movie Is the acting, like the, especially these three, uh, well no, not even especially, the three adults that you mentioned, Dave, Josh Gad’s character, his name is Teddy McGiggle, because he’s a children’s entertainer, he’s a children’s entertainer, and then there’s Lupita Nyong’o who plays Miss Caroline, who is Dave’s nephew’s kindergarten teacher.

Right. The three of them are so… Good like they’re just really really good actors and then usually we’ve talked about this recently, you know, you get kids in movies It’s hit or miss. These kids are f ing gold. Like, they are so cute and good. Ugh, I love these 

Todd: kids. The director had something to say about this too.

He said that they went through like 700 kids. Because this was a very per we are gonna talk about the movie, but like, he said this is a very personal movie for him. Because it’s directly inspired by some very… Direct parallels with his life. He, his five year old son, um, has some life threatening allergies, and he finally had to take him to kindergarten and put him in someone else’s care for the first time, and he said, that was pretty scary.

Yeah. And he and his son He was a chaperone for one of his son’s field trips, which was to a petting zoo, and that’s what happens in this movie. And he said while he was there at the petting zoo, he got the inspiration and the idea for this film. And so, so much of it probably feels so cute and genuine and real, it’s because it comes from…

Genuine experience with this guy, you know, as he’s writing it, he’s really relating it with his son and stuff. 

Craig: So, and yeah, that’s cute. He and his son are both in the movie. It’s adorable. They just have cameos. Okay, so but yeah, Dave is The guy that you just described before the Judd Apatow guy. He is a washed up Musician like he talks about being in a band, but we never see him playing with this band He’s just a busker and he’s not even a good one 

Todd: He’s really shitty.

He’s a bad singer, he’s a bad player. 

Craig: Yeah, he’s like, and he does a really good job of being really unlikable in the first part. Like, I just, I wanted to We hated him. I wanted to hit him a little bit, and I wanted to make him pull up his pants. Cause he always has his Pants down around his ass Now 

Todd: you’re sounding 

Craig: old Craig Well, I don’t care and like he’s really funny But in that Judd Apatow way where he’s just really inappropriate.

Yeah, and you know, like he caustic Swearing dropping the f bomb left and right even around his You know, what, this kid’s in kindergarten, so what, like, five year old nephew, um, making really lewd sexual jokes and suggestions, um, just smokes weed all the time, jerking off to VR, it opens up with him, um, fighting with his girlfriend, like, it’s all, all of the credits are just a huge montage of them screaming at each other everywhere, like, Let’s, let’s establish that this is not a healthy relationship right off the bat.

I just want to be able to go out and have a nice night for once. Is that too much to ask? One 

Todd: thing I 

Craig: f ed up in the last nine years. Yes, eight years in a row. It’s literally one of the most important things you I know the difference between literal and figurative language. You get 

Todd: something from 

Craig: me and you never let it go.

Come on, I knew it was your birthday. Because you saw it on I just want a little bit of respect. Why does everything have to be an argument? Why do you think? You’re the one raising your voice. But that’s the only way I can be heard. You’re like a child, Dave. I’m like a child? Yeah, you’re like a child.

You’re the one shouting at me, you started shouting first. 

Todd: Yeah, and then we really don’t see her again, do we? Well, 

Craig: well, she breaks up with him, so he goes in to stay with his sister, and that’s where we meet his sister, Tess, I think is her name. Felix is the nephew. This kid, I didn’t even write down his name, he’s a kid, I don’t know if he’s done anything else.

He is just a Adorable . 

Todd: He 

Craig: is, but we find out that he’s allergic to everything and Dave doesn’t like kids. Like he doesn’t even particularly seem to like his nephew. all that much. 

Todd: Yeah. It’s like he doesn’t care. Like he’s not. He has no stake in the game, right? He’s a guy, he’s his nephew, he seems to care enough about him, but he doesn’t care to expose him to, you know, he puts the VR gla uh, goggles on him and has him playing a zombie shooter game, which of course horrifies his mother when he comes home.

He’s dropping the F bomb all the time. I love that scene where he takes him to school for the first time. Oh god, I was laughing out loud. And he’s making comments about… The kid as they walk through and the kid’s introducing him to all of his friends as his friends come up and either make fun of him for bringing tofu and, you know, lame things to school because he has so many allergies and his mom’s trying to keep him healthy to the girl who comes by and kisses him on the cheek and then quickly runs away He looks down at him, he’s like, yeah, see, you’re already getting the puss, huh?

Craig: Oh my god, that was so funny! Yeah, the only thing, he, before that happened, he took, he heard the mom reading to the little kid from Roald Dahl’s The Witches, and she reads a line that says something like, it doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like as long as somebody loves you, and that like seems…

to touch him. You do, you get the insinuation that really all this guy wants is to be loved. Yeah. I mean, he’s such a douche that you’re not really thinking about that at this point, but over the course of the movie, you realize he’s just, uh, God, I don’t know. And there’s reasons, there’s reasons for his behavior that come out later in an exposition dump that works like, yeah, because it’s a genuine conversation.

between people that feels very honest and it doesn’t just feel like an exposition dump. Right. But anyway, he tries to get his girlfriend back and he takes the little kid dressed as Darth Vader and this kid does Vader all the time and he talks in a Vader voice, a little kid Vader voice and he’s so adorable and that dynamic between the two of them, even here in the beginning, it’s already getting cute.

And, like, he’ll say things, he’ll, the, the kid’ll say, How was that, Uncle Dave? And the uncle’ll be like, It’s good, stay in character. And so he’ll go, he’ll go back to talking in the voice. And that, that carries out throughout the movie. Like, he’ll just throw, and he thinks, the kid thinks he can do the Jedi mind trick.

Like, or he’s almost there. That’s what he tells his mom at some point. I’m almost there. I’ve almost got it. It’s adorable. But yes, at school, I mean, it’s almost hard to even believe these kids bullying this kid, Felix, because Felix is so cute and sweet. And, but Dave, uh, they go into the classroom and Ms.

Caroline is there and I would react in exactly the same way that he does. He is just immediately. Struck. Blown away by her, which you would be I mean, she’s radiant! She’s standing there in front of, you know, a bank of windows, so she’s just in this heavenly glow, and Lupita Nyong’o is Stunningly, stunningly beautiful.

And then of course, you know, he sees her interacting with the children and she’s wonderful with them and they clearly love 

Todd: her. She’s got them wrapped around her finger. She knows exactly what to do. She’s like the perfect teacher. Yeah. That, 

Craig: and if you read viewer reviews, um, everybody will just go on and on and on.

Whether they liked the movie or not, they’re like Lupita Nyong’o is a goddess. And it gets kind of mixed reviews, but. Mixed in that it’s either five stars or one star. Like, people either love it or they hate it. And I just don’t, I don’t get, I feel like you must have a black heart and soul if you don’t like this movie because it’s so sweet.

Anyway. Eventually, like, he drops the kid off at school. There’s funny bits, we can’t, I wish we could talk about every joke, cause it’s so funny, but there’s like a, a bit where the one bully, the, I guess he’s supposed to be the big bully, is Max, and he’s kind of this chubby kid, and at some point he kinda, he’s going to his cubby, and he kinda has to scoot behind a door, and Dave totally smacks him in the head with the door.

That was pretty funny. But Dave leaves for the day and then comes back to pick the kid up, He overhears another teacher talking to Miss Caroline, um, and saying one of the parents who was supposed to chaperone the trip tomorrow, her kid is sick and so, um, she can’t go and they’re like, well, where are we going to find another chaperone?

And Dave’s like, I’m in, now let’s do it. So they’re going on a field trip to, what was it? It’s like… 

Todd: Pleasant Valley Farms. Yes. Right next to, as we see as they drive down on the bus, the camera dramatically pans over and there’s… An army testing base right next to it. I laughed out loud. 

Craig: So are there American military bases in Australia?

I don’t 

Todd: know that I did question that myself, but whatever US Army testing facility was what it was. Oh God, it was 

Craig: hilarious. Very, very funny. So they’re in the bus and the bus breaks down. So Miss Caroline. at the front of the bus with her little ukulele, um, is singing Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off, and all the kids are singing it with her, and it’s just so cute!

And like, they’re, she’s adorable, like, she is just playing this role. It’s so genuine, I totally believe. That she is the best kindergarten teacher in all the land. Uh huh. And these kids are just in love with her, and it’s so cute, they’re having such fun together, singing that Taylor Swift song, which… I’m not a huge Swifty, but that song’s a bop.

Like, I love that song. You 

Todd: can’t hate that song. This was another thing. Apparently, the director said that he was at one of his son’s kindergarten performances, and there was a teacher up there with a ukulele, and the kids were singing Shake It Off. And he didn’t recognize it. He didn’t know it. He turns to someone and says, uh, what is that song?

And they’re like, oh, it’s Shake It Off. And he was like, this works so well for the movie I’m writing, and he said he went home that night and added it in. Mm hmm. Problem was, they couldn’t get the rights to it. Big 

Craig: shock there. I, I, I couldn’t, when I heard it, when I heard it I couldn’t believe, I was like, wow, I can’t believe they got this, this must have cost them a fortune.

Right, well, But it didn’t, I don’t think. No, because 

Todd: um, they’d struggled, and Lupita Nyong’o who took this just out of love, I think she agreed to this within 48 hours of being sent the script. They wanted her for it, they weren’t sure if she would take it, but she was looking for a role like this. It’s different from what she’s done before where she’s in a comedy and she’s happy and she liked the idea She could get to sing and she’d learn to play the ukulele all that stuff But they couldn’t get the song and she talked to the director and they were and she’s like look I’m really not even interested in doing this movie if we can’t get this song because it’s so cute It’s so much at the heart of what the movie is trying to say She had met Taylor Swift at one time and had told her that she was going to send her a letter someday.

So she sat down and wrote her an email directly asking her for the, uh, rights to this song. And she explained 

Craig: why. She explained why it was important to the movie. She explained why it was important to her. Yeah. And, and, and they got it. Taylor Swift. And that’s, you know, again, like I, I don’t have strong feelings about Taylor Swift one way or the other.

I like a lot of her songs. Um, I, I don’t, I Like have any of her albums downloaded, but if I hear them on the radio, they’re good Um, I think she’s a very talented musician, but she’s a smart lady. Yeah, she’s she’s very business savvy She’s 

Todd: taking a spending a lot more time in Missouri than she used to she is She is here one of these days.

Craig: Maybe she’s very polarizing here right now

Todd: Yeah, like margin 

Craig: hardcore Chiefs fans And I don’t know how they feel about it, but they should feel Let the girl watch some football. They should feel good about it because it’s getting them tons of exposure and publicity. Heck yeah. But anyway, it doesn’t surprise me that she would agree to something like this.

She seems like a very cool person. Yeah. And I do. It’s a great song and it’s super cute to watch the kids, but of course, Dave is, is too cool. He’s too cool for that. Yeah. The, the kids want to sing it again. She’s like, no, I think we’ve heard enough of that for now. And they’re like, we’ll sing another song.

And she’s like, no, but there’s somebody else on the bus who’s a professional singer and there’s a cute little. They talk about what it means to be a professional and stuff. And she asks Dave, because he had told her that he’s in this band, God’s Sledgehammer, which isn’t a Christian band, but he says it is because she’s a Christian.

And she’s like, Dave can sing us a song. He’s like, no, no. But eventually he gets up and he carries around his electric guitar with him everywhere he goes. Yeah, 

Todd: like a douche. Yeah, and a little mini amp so that he can play it. Yeah, 

Craig: it’s ridiculous. So he plays like this. Punk metal song that he wrote, and it’s about being abandoned by his father, and his father never thought he was good enough.

Which, the first time I watched the movie, I don’t even think that I paid any attention to the lyrics. The lyrics actually are kind of poignant, and, and significant later on. But he’s basically just screaming them. He’s a terrible musician. Yeah. And eventually she just tells him to stop. It’s like, I, I think that may be a little bit too much.

But then, they get, so they, they arrive there. But then we cut. To that military facility. Oh God. And it’s just a couple of people, um, riding around on one of those, you know, I don’t know what those are. You see people, those huge tunnels driving those like miniature jeeps. There’s a guy and a girl both in military attire at Right.

And they come upon. A zombie eating somebody and they’re like, Oh man, one of them got out again. 

Todd: It’s look, I love the economy of this too. You might as well. We know what, what kind of movie this is going to be, you know, don’t bore us and try to make this feel like this, you know, all this tense stuff, like make it funny and just get to the point.

Okay. They’re going to be zombies on the military facility. And I feel like the director is just winking at us like, all right. We know you know, so we’re just gonna make it funny and cut to the chase. Yeah, I love the premise that apparently this facility is down there because the American army is researching all of the dangerous Australian animals and plants and things.

I don’t know, you know, what he’s kind of reading off of their catalog and stuff as he’s going down there. Boom. There you go. Boom. Right. 

Craig: And it’s immediate, like, that one zombie kills one of those military guys, and then they hear over the radio, code red, code red, and they’re all out, and immediately, Night of the Living Dead style, like, logistically it doesn’t even really make sense.

Like, yeah, these people presumably just died, but they’re already like, in disgusting, horrible zombie shape. They’re bloody, their faces are all decayed and ripped off and Cuz why not? It’s just, it’s just disgu Right, I mean they look, they look great. They’re great looking zombies. Mind you, this is all in broad daylight.

The whole, well, most of the movie. And they immediately just start lumbering and they walk right past that sign that says Pleasant Valley Farms, 500 yards. Like… 

Todd: But luckily these are the slow moving kind of zombies, so it takes a little while for them to get there. But 

Craig: just a little while, I mean, they arrive at the putt putt.

Courts, and these Asian tourists, I guess, think they’re part of the attraction? 

Todd: Yeah, they were Chinese speaking Mandarin. I loved that little bit, because I could actually understand what they were 

Craig: saying. I wondered, I, I, I, I don’t know, I don’t know Mandarin. 

Todd: But that was weird, they introduced them, the one girl runs off, we see her again later in a scene, that woman.

Yeah, the young woman. And then we never see her again, right? 

Craig: That was kind of weird. Like, they made a point Did we ever see her face? I don’t think so. I feel like they made a point of showing us that she got away. Yeah. And then we just see her run past the screen one other time, then I don’t think we see her again.

I don’t recall seeing her as a zombie. But, uh… Miss Caroline and Dave and the kids are on a train pulled by a farm tractor and, and Felix is, like, he loves tractors, he’s obsessed with tractors, and, uh, the, the guide, the, the woman who works there, who’s driving the tractor, she has to stop because they’re going through, uh, pastures of sheep, but they don’t see any sheep until they come across a zombie eating a sheep, but she doesn’t know what it is, so she goes out and she’s like, uh, sir, what are you doing?

And he attacks her. So Miss Caroline goes down to see what’s going on and she sees that it’s zombies. And at that point Dave does too. So she, I love the, just right off the bat, immediately, she grabs a pitchfork and totally pitchforks this guy. Entirely through his torso like she’s not messing around.

Todd: Yeah, she’s gonna keep those kids safe. Yes, 

Craig: and that’s what I She doesn’t say it here, but she says it later and I think it’s appropriate to just That’s her job. And she says that outright. It is my job to keep these kids safe. And I’m going to do whatever it takes to do that. 

Todd: That was cool. I also liked her dynamic with Dave.

It’s very interesting because Dave clearly came on this trip because he is interested in her. And he’s a man on a rebound who’s going through a difficult thing. And so it feels a bit predatory, but also, you know. Maybe a bit odd, like you said, who wouldn’t be interested in her. Right. But he’s all there ready and willing to help and jumps in to help.

But then there’s a moment where she’s holding her hand up and he notices a ring on her finger. And he’s like, are you married? And she’s like, no, engage. It’s like. Oh. And at that point, he seems very uninterested. Uh 

Craig: huh. Dejected. He’s a 

Todd: big baby! He is! He doesn’t want to be there now, you know? But at this moment, where she’s like, Get in there!

You know, she’s yelling back at him. Start the tractor! Get the kids going! And he’s like, okay, he’s gotta spring into action, because he has no choice. He leaps into the front. He can’t even operate the tractor, but he’s coached through it by five year old Felix, who loves tractors. 

Craig: Right, who teaches him how to drive.

Like a stick. Yeah. It’s 

Todd: so cute. It’s 

Craig: adorable. And you know, just now saying he’s a big baby. I, I, he, he really is, but in thinking about it now, He’s able to rise. It makes sense for his character journey. Like, he really is kind of a big baby, like, he can’t take, he’s, he’s a narcissist. He, he’s really only concerned about himself.

He, uh, is ungrateful to his sister and, and treats her badly, even though she’s got everything together and she’s always there to catch him when he falls. When, when his sister finally has had enough of him and says you have to get out, he cries, or pretends to cry, to get her to let him stay. Like he, and like, like here, when he finds out she has a girlfriend, he pouts like a big baby.

He really is kind of a, a child. But over the course of the movie, and it’s funny because she has a surprising amount of patience. I, I get the feeling from the beginning that she does genuinely kind of like him. I mean, he, he’s nice to her, but, uh, there come points where he, uh, says something too much. Like there’s a, he gets into a spat with the, the heavy kid, Max, and she has to scold him.

So she does have her limits, but I like their dynamic too. And she. Probably just because she’s resourceful and knows… Dave’s the only other grown up in the room right now. So, she needs his help, and she has to rely on him too. And she does, and they work together. Well, 

Todd: and also, she’s a really good teacher, she knows how to deal with kids, so she should be able to deal with him pretty well, too, right?

Like she has the same level of patience, ultimately, that she has with the kids, she just extends to him, because he is sort of like, it’s better for him to kind of treat him like a kid. True. It all tracks, it’s really good. Well, one thing that we need to go back and mention is this child’s entertainer, Teddy McGiggle.

Oh, right. So, there’s, uh, we see early on that, uh, one of Felix’s shows that he likes to watch and apparently all the kids are into is this children’s entertainer who has a TV show called Teddy McGiggle and he has a little frog puppet that he talks to and does a silly dance and he’s, you know, just your entertainer that talks to kids like Giddilywinks!

Craig: Hi

ho, Teddy! Hi ho, Frogsy! Well, aren’t we having a super fun time on our trip down under? We’ve swam with the fish in the Great Barrier Reef. We’ve climbed to the top of the Harbor Bridge, and today, TODAY, we are visiting the Pleasant Valley Farm to meet and learn about all the cute Australian animals. I wanna cuddle some koalas!

I bet you do, Frogsy! Woo 

Todd: wee! And he’s American, but he’s, uh, in Australia on one of his world tours with his big red van. Yeah. And so when they show up, he happens to be at this, uh, petting zoo, and they do a little performance out in front. You can see the TV cameras are there catching it and all that. And then he kind of, you know, wanders off.

Yeah. Once all this stuff goes down with the zombies, they’re going away, like you said, on the tractor. She gets back 

Craig: on. She does get back on. I wanted to mention real quick, like, you and I have both… worked in education. You specifically have worked very closely with kindergartners. Yeah, this woman’s classroom management skills are like top notch.

She has the most incredible classroom management skills. And the reason I mentioned that we both have been in education is it. It reads genuine. It does. I believe this. This is very genuine. This woman, she knows How to keep these children calm. She, she cannot lose her cool. She has to keep her cool all the time and she has to keep a level of normalcy.

Yes. She has to keep them focused and keep it normal. And she does. And I love it. Like. There’s zombies all around and the kids are kind of getting scared.

Okay. Give me eyes on me. Who remembers how to play tag? Good. Well, those funny looking people out there are it. How to let the funny people touch us. Kongka!


Conga line, and just directs them quickly through this maze of zombies, and as silly as that sounds, and ultimately as silly as it is, I just loved it. I, I, I just thought it was the cutest, most clever thing, and these kids are adorable, and they’re such good actors too, like, they seem like real Kids. 

Todd: Yeah.

Well, and I think it works like you said, not just because of her, but also because of the way the kids respond. The kids are great in this movie. They got great performances out of them. As I was saying earlier, they screen like 700 kids. And he said he was very interested in getting kids who were five.

They weren’t going to get six or seven year olds and try to cheat it. He’s like, nobody buys that. And also, you’re just not going to get it. the same reactions as you are from kids who are that age. So it’s really important. So they go through the screening process and they get these kids and he’s like, you know, we, we put them through the paces and we, you could tell like which ones couldn’t focus and which ones would zone out after a while and you know, they got dropped.

But when you’re working with kids, you only get four or five hours a day and you’ve got to have breaks and all these things. And he said that when they were shooting, they, they realized that the, between nine and 10 a. m. was sort of like the magic hour for these kids. That was where they had just had breakfast and it was morning time and they still had a lot of energy where they could keep them focused and really get good performances.

So they basically scheduled most of what they needed out of these kids to happen in that one hour span. Wow. Of every day of shooting. Crazy, right? That’s 

Craig: hard to believe because there’s so much in it, you know, like. Yeah, right? It’s not like they can just put them somewhere and Go do things. One of the grownups has to be with them all the time, so those kids are present most of the time, but yeah, first they try to go back to their bus, but they see the bus driver getting eaten and he says they’re in the bus.

Go back. So they go back to, um, the gift shop slash visitor center, but it’s locked and Teddy McGiggles is locked in there and reveals himself to just be. Top notch asshole. Like, he could not care less about them. He couldn’t care less that they are children. He only, he is safe in there by himself, and that’s…

Todd: Well, you know, I saw this coming a mile away because it’s that kind of 

Craig: movie. Oh, sure. I mean, he was douchey from the beginning. Like, as soon as he laid eyes on Miss Caroline when all the kids were gathered around, he, like, called her up and was, had his hands on her and, like, he was clearly, you know, putting the moves on her.

It was gross. 

Todd: Well, it’s also pretty typical for these kind of comedies, and I think this might be where some of the critic, I didn’t actually read any of the criticism. I’m just, uh, trying to imagine and I’m also, you know, thinking about the movie, try as objectively as possible. As much as I enjoyed it, these are pretty standard tropes, you know, like we said, the, the Judd AAU big kid who has to grow up, okay.

He meets a woman who initially, you know, they’re. Sparring or it doesn’t seem like it seems like they’re unlikely pair then they develop a relationship and they have their moments It’s almost beat by beat sort of screenplay writing 101 and this same thing this guy who you saw as this Wonderful child’s entertainer that all the kids are love.

I knew was gonna turn out to be the biggest asshole of all of them It’s just Standard for these comedies. So I did feel like these things were a bit predictable. That’s fine because it was still a fun movie and We we sometimes watch the same stories over and over again and we still like them But if I were to have you know Some criticism for this movie and maybe why some people connected with it and some people just absolutely turned it off Is because of that.

Yeah, I 

Craig: don’t know either. You know what I mean? I mean, I I do I mean when you say it like when you say it that way I get it. I, I never felt that way. I never felt like it was stale. And, and I, I don’t know if that is a result of any one thing or a combination of things. The, the, the performances that I think are so good.

Todd: I thought that, I thought the plot was a little stale. I, I thought that the, the whole, like I said, it’s so close to, say, Cooties or… Anna and the Apocalypse, or Scout’s Guide to the And not just because it’s younger people who have to deal with zombies, but it was almost like it kind of hit the same beats.

You always know in a movie like this, there’s gonna be this point where everybody’s asleep and there’s no threat, and so that gives the male character and the female character time to spill their guts out to each other, and then find out that, you know, Hey, he really isn’t such a bad guy after all. Yeah, you know what I mean?

Like there’s actually that moment in here. Yeah, and I saw it coming from a mile away too. And sure, I’ve got to say I was a little disappointed by that, but it’s fine. I, I expected it and I got it. So, 

Craig: well, yeah, I mean, they, they get in the kids for the kids. They find a way, by the way, these zombies are. A threat if they get a hold of you, but if I had a choice of running through a horde of zombies or not, I would choose not to, but if you had to, as long as you’re on your toes, you’re right, if you’re on your toes, you’ve got a pretty good chance.

They’re also… Mindless, it seems. Because they can’t, like, figure out how to climb things. Right. 

Todd: Or open doors, or smash Even smash through windows, they’re not doing that. 

Craig: Right, right. Um, so any obstacle in their way is good for you. Um, so the kids crawl through this little hole in the ground into like a play area, and the zombies can’t figure that out, so they’re okay.

Uh, Dave goes in through the ceiling, and he and Teddy mcg, mcg giggles. Teddy mcg giggles, they fight and he’s just so crass, like mcg giggles is just so crass. Everything he says is disgusting, and they get in a fight. And eventually, uh, Dave grabs mcg giggles by the balls and squeezes and mcg giggles, like projectile vomits

But he beats him up. Uh, or Dave beats me giggles up, and then he, he gets. He takes blows too, but he, then the kids are in there and at first McGiggles is being crazy, talking about how they’re all going to die because they’re still trying to keep the kids under the illusion that this is all a game. And McGiggles is like, it’s not a game.

We’re all going to die, blah, blah, blah. And he’s, he’s freaking, he’s scaring the kids. So she goes over to him. I loved this moment. She pretends that she’s hugging him, but really she Like, was it like a broken statue or something? Yeah. Mm hmm. She digs it into his side, and she’s really digging it in. Like, he’s crying, and this is when she said, It is my job to take care of these kids, and I will do whatever I have to do.

And I just, I liked seeing that kind of badass moment. Not that she hasn’t already been a badass, she has. But she’s so even keeled for the kids. Even in this moment, they don’t know what’s going on. They think she’s just giving him a hug. But she gets him to say, it’s a game. And then, uh, everything calms down for a little while.

While Miss Caroline and McGiggles are fighting, Dave gives the kids all five. food and Felix says, is this okay, Uncle Dave? And he’s like, yeah, yeah, it’s fine. It’s just chips. It’s just chips. But it’s been established that he has. severe allergies to everything. So, as soon as, uh, that fight between Lupita Nyong’o and Jess Gadd is over, we hear him struggling to breathe, and you kind of see him scratching, uh, at his throat.

Of course they know he’s got severe allergies, so she had an EpiPen, but… A zombie stole her fanny pack, and that’s where it was. But Dave has one too, um, and Tess, uh, Felix’s mom, had shown Dave how to do it, but of course, he’s an idiot, and he does it wrong, and he injects it into himself, and, you know, once you’ve done that, that’s done.

It’s not like you can just reuse them. So he says, there’s another one, there’s a spare in his backpack, but his backpack is on that train. They, all the kids left their backpack. And Dave says, I’ll go get it. But Felix says, no, don’t leave me. And, gosh, it’s so sad. The dad in me 

Todd: really, really felt this bit, actually.

I mean, it’s such a small bit, but I, that, that hit me. I hit me hard. Because I’m thinking, what would I do in this situation, you know? And I’m like, yeah, 

Craig: I… Well, and Lupita Nyong’o… Just jumps into action. She sees this. She sees him say don’t leave and she says I’ll do it. Um, and she by God she 

Todd: does Yep Gets that and brings it back.


Craig: comes back I mean she she has to fight through a bunch of zombies on the way there and we get to watch that and she fights Them with a shovel and she ends up like hacking several of their heads off with a shovel like she’s just a total badass. She gets to the train, um, it’s cutting back to Felix almost dying and he does not look good.

And Dave, of course, is just horrified and wracked with guilt, of course as you would be. And, uh, then, when she gets, she finally, when she gets to the train, all the kids backpacks are identical, so she has to go through all of them, and then she turns around to head back, and it is just an even bigger horde of zombies, and all you see is she takes a deep breath and starts marching towards them, and then it, and then it cuts back to the kids, and she comes Uh, storming back in.


Todd: through the ceiling. Just, like, lands on her feet like a total stud, covered in blood. 

Craig: Just covered in blood. Like, she has just been through a slaughter out there. And she says, oh, they’re like, what’s on your dress? She’s like, oh, uh, I got caught in a jam fight. It’s strawberry jam, don’t taste it.

So funny. Funny and she gives Felix the injection and he can breathe and he says, thank you. Miss Caroline, and she says it’s my job Yeah, and then like Dave looks at her this woman Who has just saved his nephew’s life and not only that saved him from the predicament that Dave put him in Yeah, and he is just In love.

Absolutely in love. That may, gosh, I don’t remember where the times I cried. you cried? You 

Todd: said you put it down in your notes, come on, be 

Craig: honest. Well, we must not have gotten 

Todd: there yet. Well, Teddy hears a helicopter, he climbs up on the roof to wave it down, but he ends up falling off, and they’re, and, you know, because he would let them in, and the teacher is very reluctant to let him in, and I love this line, he yells in the door, he goes, You’re being a bad teacher!

F k your teaching method! 

Craig: Ha ha ha ha ha! 

Todd: Oh god. But you know, Dave goes out there and rescues him, pulls him up onto the roof. And then he has his little confession moment, which was so funny. I laughed so hard. And basically he’s just like, Ha ha ha, he’s just admitting, That he hates kids, and he doesn’t enjoy the job, and he was, uh, trained by Al Pacino, uh, as an actor, and he’s doing this shit.

And he says the only thing that gets me through it is f ing their moms. Yeah. It was, it was ridiculous, right? Like… Utterly ridiculous. Maybe a little too over the top. But at the very end, he says, And you know what? Teddy McGiggle isn’t even my real name. It’s Kevin. 

Craig: Or whatever, something 

Todd: weird.

That line was genius, I’m sorry. And he’s 

Craig: like, I don’t, I don’t remember what he said. It’s, he’s like, it’s, it’s Stephen. And Dave goes, Stephen McGiggle? Stephen Schwartz! Like, I don’t remember what it was, but something like that. Something like that. Yeah, that part wasn’t my favorite part. No. It was dumb. I think Josh Gad is a really, really funny guy.

Um, and a lot of that felt improvised. Yeah. I imagine the director probably said, Here’s the direction. I want you to take it. Take these 

Todd: concepts and do it. Yeah, I mean, it’s just, it’s just silly for the point of being silly. It’s 

Craig: become very unreal. And at one point, he goes, What’s that terrible smell? Oh, God.

It was, I, I can’t lie. It was me. I shit my pants. I was gonna try to blame it on you. Oh, God. It’s crazy. Okay, so, um, we find out that the army has plans to drop a bomb on the visitor center in the morning. But now it’s nighttime, and Caroline sings to these kids. The sweetest song. Well, I’d like to visit the

moon On a rocket ship high in the air Yes, I’d like to visit the moon

But I don’t think I’d like to live there

Though I would miss all the places and people I love. So, though I may

like it I don’t want to live on the moon. It’s adorable. It’s a beautiful little lullaby. They finally get the kids to go. to sleep. Isn’t this when Dave and Felix have a cute little moment with Felix’s girlfriend? 

Todd: Dave and Felix? And Felix’s girlfriend? Oh, I don’t remember that. 

Craig: Yeah, I, I, No, it’s not quite there yet.

We see that all of the parents of the missing kids are gathered, but the army is keeping them out. And there’s hilarious dialogue where the army guys are like, What’s going on this time? Ugh, it’s zombies again. Slow ones or fast ones? Slow ones. Oh, well, that’s good. Okay. Well, shoot anything that moves. 

Todd: They stand around their table and they slap down and unroll a map and it’s just the like cartoony visitors map of the petting zoo instead of like, you know, satellite map or something like that is what they’re using to plan their invasion.

I mean, it’s so corny and and that’s Kind of nice. I mean, again, it’s like the filmmakers winking at you. Like, yeah, you know, what’s going on. The army’s coming in. They’re going to become a threat too. They’re going to want to bomb the place. So let’s just, let’s just have some fun with that. But I 

Craig: just think that it’s also funny because in these zombie movies, it’s always at the end, you know, at the very end, the army comes in and like gets things under control and this movie treats.

It like, well, that just happens sometimes like, that’s just, that’s, I mean, that’s part of the job for the army is cleaning up zombie 

Todd: outbreaks. 

Craig: Oh God. Uh, Tess, Dave’s sister tries to call her and leaves a tearful message and says, you know, please just tell Felix, I love him. And oh my God, it’s so cute and sad.


Todd: is like, again, it’s so typical Tess and Dave have their moments. So now, you know, we get this. point where Dave can tell his sister suddenly how much he appreciates all that she’s done for him. And I was kind of rolling 

Craig: my eyes at that. Well, that’s later. They don’t, they, he does call her or she gets through to him later.

You’re right. That’s later. All the kids are going to sleep, but Felix’s little girlfriend, Beth, is scared. And so Felix says, my mom says a rhyme to me when I’m scared. And it’s this cute little rhyme about little monsters go away. But Dave. Um, busts in and says it with them. And at the end, Felix is like, How did you know that rhyme?

And he said, Your mom used to say it to me too. That’s back when I was Boo Boo. Boo Boo was what the sister called him. So, the, all the kids go to sleep. And then, Dave and… Aubrey, which he finally calls her. He’s been calling her Miss Caroline all along and she keeps saying, you’ve really got to call me Aubrey.

He finally calls her Aubrey and apologizes for, you know, all of his bad behavior, but then they have a heart to heart and you’re right. Like this, like I said before, it’s an exposition dump, but I don’t. Mind it, because it feels so heartfelt and it’s sweet and funny. Basically, his story is he didn’t want to have kids with his ex.

He admits that, you know, they broke up and she immediately got with another guy. But it was really his fault because he couldn’t commit and she wanted kids and he didn’t. And it’s because he’s scared he’d be like his dad. His dad left them, totally abandoned them for another family, which caused his mom to…

Um, and, and she was hospitalised through all of their childhood, and so his sister had raised him, and he wasn’t even, uh, you know, grateful for her. And like, yes, it’s a little bit trite, but… It’s so it’s played so genuinely that I don’t mind and then she tells her story. She’s like, you know, I wasn’t always The perfect teacher and and she talks about how she was kind of a wild child and at 18 She ran away from home to follow a band.

She followed them to Australia and Until she ran out of money and when she ran out of money she broke into One of their hotel rooms, and she said, I would have let them do anything to me. He goes, what happened? And she said, as soon as Taylor came in the room, they called Zachariah or something. And he goes, Taylor Swift?

And she says, no, Taylor Hanson. The band that she had been following was Hanson. The band that she was willing to let do anything to her was Hanson. That’s hilarious. And he’s like, wait, like, mm, bop? And she’s like, mm hmm. MmmmmmBAMM. Ahahahahahaha.

Todd: Well, big surprise too here, right? She’s not actually engaged. I saw that coming a mile away as well. Oh, 

Craig: obviously. Well, I mean, she’s a smart girl. She knows what’s going on. We, you know, all those dads are hitting on her. Yes, throw a ring on that finger. Maybe it’ll deflect some of them. Mm. Not all of them, I’m sure not all of ’em , um, right.

But anyway, she fell into teaching ’cause she was broke. So she took a job as a teaching aide and she fell in love with it. And now it’s like her life calling or whatever. Yep. Um, and he offers to stay awake and, and, and keep watch. And that scared me to death ’cause I thought he was gonna screw up again.

But he doesn’t, he just wakes them up in the morning and they’ve, he’s got a plan they gotta get out of there. His plan is to go to the train, but when they talk to McGiggles about it, McGiggles is like, I’ve got this great van and it’s got a hatch in the top for my puppet so we can drive it up and get the kids in there.

Yeah. And they’re like, oh, that’s actually a pretty good idea. So McGiggles and Dave both go to the van. I’m trying to hurry because this isn’t all that exciting. Um, I mean, it is in the movie because they have to traverse the… Zombies and all that. Well, 

Todd: uh, there is a bit here. And this is, you know, again, a little bit of criticism for the movie was the pacing.

The movie slows down quite a few times. And the zombie threat is not ever present. It seems like they could stay locked in that room forever. Like as long as they had food and drink. But they don’t. They ate up all the chips. But like, they’re not fending off zombies left and right. They’re suddenly not like, somebody breaks in the back door or whatever.

And I felt like I was a little, ugh, is, are we gonna move the plot forward? They don’t know that the army is gonna be bombing them. Right. So they don’t have that urgency. Uh, I felt like the movie could have used a little bit of urgency, you know, at this point. In any case, they gotta get the kids out, cause there’s no food, and uh, as they’re running away, Teddy is like, scared out of his mind and freaking out, until he comes across the playground, which is where the kid zombies were.

And suddenly, he has a new lease on his zombie taken out life, and starts brutally taking out these kid zombies. And this movie is not afraid to cross lines. No. I kind of like that about it, that the kids are zombies, and he is killing them. Ha Yeah. And, and each time he’s like, I f ed your mom, and I f ed your mom!

I, I thought that was…

Funny, even though it was really silly. And also, I was really impressed they were willing to go there and take out the kids. 

Craig: Yeah, there are kid zombies throughout. Yeah. I like that, too. Well, anyway, they get to the van, but Teddy betrays them and locks the door, and so Dave can’t get in, but then… His sock 

Todd: puppet, Froggy, is a zombie 

Craig: now?

Yeah, that was hilarious. Like, you see the puppet come out from the back, and then he gets killed. Dave climbs up on top of the van, which the zombies can’t figure out, so he’s up there. He talks to his sister on the phone, apologizes to her, yeah. And then he ends up dropping his phone. Then there’s a sequence where the kids all of a sudden are like, Where’s Felix?

And he’s gone. And you see him running around outside in his… Darth Vader outfit and like fake lightsaber fighting with the zombies and stuff and pew pew like the video game Yeah, yeah, there was never a question in my mind of whether or not they would kill this kid I knew that they would not oh, of course, but if this still made me very nervous Mm hmm because he’s just running through them.

He doesn’t know the stakes. They’ve told them that it’s a game Mm hmm, so he doesn’t know the danger and he finds this little lamb that we’ve seen before But he gets cornered in the lamb’s pen. Now, um, does FelixJediMind trick that gate? 

Todd: I guess, yeah, that’s the only explanation for this. The only other way you could explain it, although I was looking for it and I didn’t see it, is that the zombies, as they’re piling against the gate, sort of end up closing it themselves.

Right. But it sure looks like he’s used his force powers to close the gate. 

Craig: It really looks like 

Todd: it. And then the next scene we see, he’s not there anymore. I thought he was going to be trapped or 

Craig: something. I did too. But no, he actually comes to the rescue. The next time we see him, he is coming, um, he’s driving the tractor, pulling the train, coming to rescue his uncle.

And it’s hilarious, because he doesn’t know how to drive, so he’s like running over stuff and going, Oops! Like, it’s, it’s, It’s really cute and really funny, and, uh, he picks up Dave, and Dave gets on and he says, See, I told you you were the bravest kid I knew. And that was before. Before Dave left to go try to get the van, the kid is like, But you’ll be back, right?

And he says something like, You’re the strongest, bravest person I’ve ever met. And I was crying. 

Todd: Well, now that I think about it, that’s probably what gave him the… The impetus to run out on his own in, uh, Darth Vader costume. So in a way, he kind of put him in danger. Yeah, 

Craig: it was really sweet. Anyway, so they pick up all the kids, they get them all on the…

Train and they because these are slow walking zombies like the tractor doesn’t even go fast like that tractor could go faster than that It could but they’re just going like two miles an hour and the whole horde of zombies is just following them But miss Caroline is playing the ukulele for the kids and when she’s and they’re singing along but anytime a song ends the zombies like And somebody says it’s the music And so every she’s playing 

Todd: these songs!

This was so silly, this bit. It 

Craig: really was! Um, and the She plays, if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands, and the kids and the zombies clap. And, and it is, it’s really silly, it’s kind of funny. It’s 

Todd: kind of funny, I think you could have cut this whole bit out, I would have been just fine with it, honestly.

Oh, you 

Craig: could, yeah, it’s fine, I mean, they’re getting away, they’re, they’re coming towards the army. First, the army just sees Miss Caroline and Dave, and they’re just gonna kill them. They’re like, they could be infected, just, you know, take them out. Because this is 

Todd: a standard military procedure for zombies anyway.


Craig: And then they’re like, wait, do you hear that? It’s singing. And they’re like, who’s singing? And they’re like, wait, it’s kids. And the major, whoever’s in charge, like, kids, Ugh, I can’t shoot kids. Not again.

Todd: So they don’t shoot the kids. They all catch up, and all the kids stream off. In the meantime… Uh, Dave is super excited, he’s telling the military, he says, It’s the music, the music, just sing to them, you can control them. And they just break out their guns and mow these guys down. Mow them right in front of all the children.

Yeah. That bit 

Craig: was hilarious. And then you see stealth bombers fly overhead, and an atomic bomb, not really, but a huge bomb goes off at the camp, and there’s like a mushroom cloud and everything, and Miss Caroline’s like, look, kids fireworks. Uh huh. Then guys in hazmat suits start grabbing the kids and throwing them in the back of a paddy wagon.


Todd: kisses him, you know? You knew that was coming. Oh, 

Craig: right, they kiss in front of the mushroom cloud. Yeah. That was, yeah, she kisses him, and, and like, I don’t remember if she pulls away, I think she pulls away and says, I’m sorry, and then he kisses her. Yeah. It’s really, like. Typical. This is obvious, right, that’s obviously where it was going, but at this point, I don’t know Todd, I was just so into it, like I loved it, I, through this whole thing, I was laughing, I was crying, I was so, I was nervous, even though, if they had, you know, you said that this movie isn’t Afraid to like cross lines and I agree they do kill children.

There are lots of children zombies You do see those zombie kids brutalized by Josh Gad But if they had killed any one of these kids in this class, I would have been out like now Yeah, never mind. Don’t like it. So I’m glad that they were sensible In that way, and it was silly, it was cute, but anyway, at the end, so then it cuts back to the military facility, and it’s all of the parents, and the major comes in, and was like, they’re like, where are our kids?

He’s like, all of the class is safe, uh, we just have to keep them in quarantine, and they’re like, but wait, how could that be? And he’s like, well, it’s a miracle, it was their teachers kept them safe. They’re like, teachers? They only have one teacher, and he’s like, no, there’s Miss Caroline, and there’s, Dave.

And Tess is like, that’s my brother. And he’s like, it’s unprecedented. Nobody has ever survived one of these things. And the, the parents are like, well, they must be so scared. And he’s like, come with me. And he takes them to like this huge, enormous room. That’s dark, but in the center of it, there’s a clear plastic tent, and all of the kids are sit and Dave and Ms.

Carolina are in there, and all of the kids are sitting around, and Dave is playing the ukulele, and they’re all singing Shake It Off together. Yeah. And it’s so… cute and then like all the parents are sitting there watching and it does a close up on Tess and you just see the Tears running down her face and I’m crying too.

Like it was so sweet It was so sweet and I cried. I I didn’t cry. It 

Todd: was so cute! No, I admit that it’s cute and I think you know this movie isn’t gonna be for everybody because maybe even many of our listeners don’t have the patience for a a super cute movie like this. It’s trying to be cute. It actually works.

But it’s also, like I said, very paint by numbers as far as the plot goes. It’s very simple. You don’t ever really feel that the kids are in real peril. And a lot of it sounds kind of written and silly, you know, because it’s just a silly comedy. And so you don’t really take any of it seriously. Look, that’s not a criticism.

That’s the point of the movie. It’s just that kind of movie. But if you go into this, not expecting that, if you think it’s, you’re going to feel danger and you know, it’s, it’s going to be realistic. Uh, it’s not, it’s a bit of a parody, but it’s got a lot of heart to it as well. And, and emotional depth that I was not expecting, honestly.

Yeah, I liked it too. And I would recommend it to. 

Craig: Yeah, I, I would too. And Alan really liked it. Like, he really liked this movie. And that very rarely happens, uh, with horror. So, I’ve been trying to get my sister to watch it. She’s like, oh, I don’t like zombie movies, they’re so gross. And I’m like, well, the zombies are gross, but it’s not that, it’s not, it’s really not scary.

It’s, it’s more so sweet and cute. I really think that she would like it. In fact, I recommend, she’s been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer with her tween daughter. Um, and they’ve both been really enjoying that together. I feel like this… Is similar in tone, you know, there’s there’s some a little bit of scary stuff and there are definitely scary monsters and stuff But it’s really more of a story about people I I really dig these types of movies and I’ve been excited to talk about it for a long time So I’m glad and and I I watched it that one time with Alan in quarantine Hadn’t watched it again.

Watched it again yesterday and was nervous thinking gosh, I have such fond memories of it What if I have oversold it to myself in my mind and I enjoyed watching it again so much So even on a second viewing it stood up for me So yeah, if you haven’t seen it and I think a lot I don’t think a lot of people have seen it Honestly, so if you’re one of those people and haven’t seen it, I highly, highly 

Todd: recommend it.

Yeah, especially for people who are just looking for a com it’s kind of a good mixed crowd movie. You know? There’s some comedy in there, there’s some cuteness in there. Romance. There’s the horror. The horror’s not really that horrible. Um, it’s a clever parody. So, uh, yeah, it’s, it’s good. It’s not like Shaun of the Dead level clever, but, uh, it’s aspiring to that.

And again, I, I, again, I, I still liken it to Cooties, to Anne and the Apocalypse, Scott’s, Scout’s Guide to the Apocalypse. Although those could get a little darker than this movie ever gets. And I’m kind of tired of these movies to be frank with you. Like, I don’t know if I can, I don’t know if I could watch another zombie.

Parody movie. I’m, I’m starting to feel like you with the zombie stuff to be honest, but maybe for me It’s the zombie comedy thing feels like do we need to keep making these? I Don’t know how many more they’re gonna be Why not some like vampire comedies or, I don’t know, something different Anyway, we said that we were gonna do something special for this episode And one of the things that’s really nice is that over the last couple years, we have had our patrons, uh, who have been really supportive of us behind the scenes, who have supported us with their money as well, and uh, have given us the opportunity to do things that we were never able to do before.

We are a lot more active on social media now because we’re able to be because of their support. Uh, we’re reaching out more and I think gaining some new listenership, updating our website, doing some things, and also trying to figure out some ways to give you guys more content and um, more value. And one of the things that we discussed with them was what’s something that you would like us to do and one of them recommended Hey, we would, uh, like to shoot you a like a voice message Maybe every now and then you could feature a listener on your podcast and I thought that was a really cool idea So I just reached out to our patrons and we said hey if you guys want to send a message to us in honor of this One year just do it this way and we sent them a link and I kind of set all that up And we got some responses, and we want to feature a response from each person, uh, over the next, uh, few episodes and maybe make this a regular thing.

Um, we’re opening it up to everybody out there, so that you can go to our website, there’s a little link on there. The platform we’re using is called SpeakPipe, it’s free. You can just click there, all you have to do is punch in your name and your email address, uh, and you can send a quick, uh, 90 second… MP3, just record it right there on your computer or your phone, and then that’ll get sent to us.

Uh, and we can respond to it and maybe feature it on one of our podcasts. So today is the inaugural day where we’re going to start doing this. We would like to listen here to one of our lovely patrons and longtime listeners. Hi guys, 

Craig: this is your loyal listener Andreas from Hamburg in Germany. I just wanted to congratulate you and say thank you for Unbelievable, entertaining, funny, dramatic 365 episodes.

I’m not ashamed to say by now I’ve listened to every one of them. I’ve enjoyed them all. I’m 53 and I have seen quite a few horror movies in my life. But through your podcast, I’ve discovered some real gems I didn’t know before. Also, I’ve seen Vampyrus Lesbos, which was easily the worst thing I have ever seen in my life.

So congratulations again, you two are great, and I hope that the next 365 episodes will be just as great. And Todd. Stop torturing Craig with obscure Argento stuff. He really is suffering. Bye.

That was 

Todd: amazing. I don’t believe for a moment that you’re suffering, but I don’t know if I could even fulfill that promise, but. 

Craig: Andres from Hamburg gets me. It’s, it’s good to know that people out there, you know, have my back. Laughter

No, it’s really cool. I, I can’t, you know, as I sit here in my living room, in my modest house, in small town middle America, it, it just kind of blows my mind that somebody in Hamburg has listened to all 365 of our episodes. It’s, uh… It’s amazing. It’s 

Todd: amazing. Flattering. It’s really flattering, actually. Yeah, gosh.

Craig: And, uh, so complimentary. Man, I wish I could shake the guy’s hand. Thanks. Thanks. That’s, that’s really cool. Thank you, Andreas. Yeah, and shoot us, uh, you know, we won’t play the mean ones. I can’t imagine if, if you’re that, actually, if you’re that motivated, if you’re that mad, go ahead and that might be fun.

No, I’m just kidding. Um, but if you, uh, if you want to shoot us a message, uh, I encourage it. That was really fun. I hadn’t heard that. That was my first time hearing it. So thank you very much. I hope we can get more of those in the future. Yeah, 

Todd: thank you, Andreas, so much. And once again, just go to our website.

We actually have a new address now. The old one still works, but ChainsawHorror. com will get you to our website as well. It’s a little easier to remember and to type in. Just go there and look for that link for SpeakPipe. We also have started an email newsletter. Those are kind of hot right now. If you would like to join that, it’s totally free.

Just click on that link there as well. Put in your email address. Stick in your birthday if you want. We might send you a little something on your birthday, but you don’t have to just your name and your email address And we’ll get you on the newsletter as well. Well, thank you again and Craig. It’s been a wonderful year of episodes I’m looking forward to another Two three four more years at least 

Craig: knock on wood

Todd: Until we run out of movies.

Like your mom said, she can’t believe there’s this many horror movies, so… 

Craig: Yeah. She said that at like 50. That’s right. 

Todd: We’ve proved her wrong, I’d say. We did. Well, thank you so much for listening, and once again, I’m Todd. And I’m Craig. With two guys and a chainsaw.

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