Vampyros Lesbos

We were certainly divided on the merits of Jesse Franco’s Vampyros Lesbos. Todd thinks it’s exploitation fare striving for something a little greater. Craig thinks it’s just porn. You be the judge as you listen to this week’s discussion of one of the most notorious lesbian vampire flicks of all time.

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Vampyros Lesbos (1971)

Episode 350, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: So we come off of two weeks of doing what the people want. Now we’re coming back to doing what I want to do. Uh, I don’t know if I more often than not choose the movies here, mostly because, uh, you Craig tend to be more like, ah, whatever you, you’ll just sort of go along with everything I suggest, which I love.

And I think sometimes you regret it. Mm-hmm. And then you give me shit for it. So I guess that’s like my payment, I suppose, is to, yeah. Get ready. Well, today’s movie is the 1971 West German Spanish lesbian Vampire movie, Vampyros Lesbos, which, uh, has been on my list for us to watch for a long time, because as you know, I’m a very big supporter of the LGBTQ community.

Craig: Don’t do that. Fuck you. I don’t need your support or your lesbian vampires. 

Todd: What’s wrong with my lesbian vampires? This is, well, this is the first in a month long series of lesbian vampire movies. We’re, we’re hitting up a new theme month. Craig doesn’t know it yet.

Craig: You’re absolutely wrong. That’s the thing. You’re, you are right when you, I have said to you a bazillion times cuz you throw shit like this at me and I’m like, I don’t say no. I, I will not say no. I am really reevaluating my position on that. After this. 

Todd: After this one, huh? Yes. This is the one it took. Wow.

Craig: God, this movie is terrible. 

Todd: Well, I’m not gonna gonna say that it’s just porn.

Craig: Let’s just be straight about it. It’s, oh, it’s not porn. It’s, yes it is. No, it’s just porn. No, this is porn. No. For mens in the seventies who were too pussy to buy real porn who were too ashamed to go in and actually like buy porn, they could rent this and be like, no, this is legitimate film.

Okay. Whatever this is. 

Todd: It’s not, but that’s fine. You’re, you’re right about the fact that Yes, this is, uh, well, first and foremost, this is an exploitation film. Almost everything we do on this podcast is an exploitation film, and we’ve seen it in, uh, all sorts of extremes. Okay. We’ve seen super extreme violence.

We’ve seen. Way more porny sex than you’ll ever see in this movie. This movie is filled with nudity and yes, it’s long leering shots up close of, of women’s bodies and gives girls an excuse to rub their hands all over each other and stuff like that. But it is a far cry from porn. It’s not porn. Well, I guess it depends 

Craig: on how you define porn then.

I guess we don’t need to get into it. Uh, it’s, it’s it, you don wanna talk about porn. It’s Playboy channel. At least it’s, 

Todd: it’s very tame. You’re right, but very tame, Playboy channel from maybe back in the, in the eighties or something like that. Uhhuh, it’s, it’s extremely tame nudity, but it’s not porn. It’s absolutely not.

I will agree 

Craig: with you on, on technical terms. 

Todd: No. If you call it porn, you’re gonna give our listeners the wrong idea because like I said, we have seen movies. Okay, 

Craig: fine. Fine. Then it’s just trash. Like don’t wanna call it porn. That’s fine. It’s just trash then like, well, I, uh, I, 

Todd: it was a big hit in Europe when it came out.

I’ll tell you that. I mean, it was a different time. 1971. Well, look, the director of this movie and another reason why I wanted to do this movie. And by the way, no. This movie I’m, I’m completely joking about. We’re not gonna be going into deep, uh, discussions of gender roles and, uh, and, you know, queer theory when we talk about this movie, it’s, it’s a hundred percent for the male gaze, obviously.

But, uh, the director of this film, Jess Franco, is one of the most prolific filmmakers ever. That’s not necessarily a compliment. Like most of what he made was garbage and he knew he was making garbage and he said, I don’t think I’ve ever made a good film. Uh, he always wanted to, but what he was primarily known for was getting cheap exploitation films in under budget and, uh, On time.

And that allowed him to basically do whatever he wanted. And so that’s how he made his money. Uh, Spanish filmmaker who, who made women in prison movies. A lot of horror movies like this. Uh, lots of, so sort of soft core. You know, not porn, but like, like this movie where it’s just a lot of looking at girls’ bodies or things or sex comedies and stuff like that.

This guy made over 200 movies. He also scored and wrote the films. Um, he’s often compared to Ed Wood. Yeah. As this guy who, yeah, very prolific, made a lot of movies, lots of enthusiasm for films, but quite incompetent, really wasn’t even, you know, always able to put together anything that’s beyond just exploitation.

But anyway, uh, he made this movie in 1971 and, uh, one of the stars of this film, um, Soledad Miranda, who plays, um, the vampire. Not yet. She plays the vampire. Yeah. And Countess, uh, Nadine Carody. Oh yeah. Od yeah. She was on to become a, possibly a big international star. This was like his one discovery, like he found her, he put her in a couple movies, which gained her sudden popularity in Europe.

And uh, she was really poised to be like an international superstar when she sadly died in a car accident. Oh. In 19? Yeah, at the age of 27 actually.

Craig: Oh my God, that’s awful.

Todd: Yeah. Uh, 1970 was the date of her accident. This movie came out in 71 and I think there were three or four other movies she had already shot that came out after her death.

And so, yeah, really sad. Like this woman, I think is captivating on the screen. She’s gorgeous. She’s stunningly beautiful. Yeah, she’s stunningly beautiful. She has these really. Piercing eyes. Obviously nobody in this movie really gets a chance to showcase their acting talents and stuff. But, uh, just the fact that she can go through some of these really, really long takes without cracking a smile or, or, or cracking up.

I actually, I, I give all the actors credit for that, uh, in this movie, honestly.

Craig: Oh my God, I can’t believe that’s like the barometer against which we’re measuring. Like, oh, well, at least they didn’t crack up. God, it. 

Todd: Oh man, I’m gonna be alone here. I, I’m not, look, I’m not gonna praise this as a great movie, but I think this, uh, is a notorious movie.

It was very successful when it came out in Europe and, uh, and then subsequently was released around the world. It was one of his few films to get a US release. Um, uh, look, he’s, I mean, with, with over 200 movies, the percentage of movies, uh, that were actually rel even dubbed into English. Are a smaller percent, uh, fraction of that.

And this was, was one of them. The, the version we saw, um, I, I don’t know if it was originally shot, I think it was shot in German, obviously dubbed, even the German is dubbed because all the actors in here aren’t even necessarily German. Uh, there’s Spanish actors in here. There’s a very, very famous, um, British actor.

But yeah, anyway, uh, it was, it was quite popular. At the time in Europe, had some success again as an exploitation film in the United States is constantly found on lists of lesbian vampire movies, that kind of thing. He also directed a Count Dracula movie this same year, uh, with Bruce Lee and uh, she was in it as well as Lucy.

Did I say Bruce Lee? I meant, uh, Christopher Lee.

Craig: Oh, that’s hilarious. Christopher LeeI was really thi I was like a, and I could maybe get behind a Bruce Lee vampire film. 

Todd: That would be crazy. We’ve come real close. We’ve come real close. Uh, no, this movie actually I wouldn’t mind watching. It’s a PG movie, uh, in it’s Bram Stoker’s Count Dracula directed, uh, and co-written by him.

Uh, and it stars Christopher Lee, uh, as Count Dracula, Klaus Kinsky as Renfield, Fred Williams, as John Jonathan Harker, and again, the beautiful Soledad Miranda as Lucy. So I, I’d be kinda interested in checking it out one of these days. But, um, This is the movie we’re talking about today. Um, so anyway, I had not seen it before.

It was a little hard to get a hold of, although it has had a recent couple d v d releases and with some restoration, uh, involved. So, I was glad to have seen it and, uh, I’m sorry. Uh, I, I was just as painful for me to slog through as it was for you. So don’t get all uppity on me about it then. I doubt that.

Well, maybe a little less painful. I mean, it is kind of sad when this erotic movie with tons of female nudity finds me so bored at one point that I’m just getting up and walking out of the room to, to go to the bathroom without. Pausing it. That’s how bad it is. Even the erotic scenes are boring. 

Craig: Yeah. Oh man.

I don’t know what to say about it. I, it was 

Todd: But you’ve heard of this before though, right? I mean, no, no, no, no. Nobody has heard of this. You’re all over the horror sites and you’ve never run across Vampyros Lesbos. No. 

Craig: And I always feel like I’m, um, Doing ads for people and they’re not paying me so I shouldn’t, but one of the main horror sites that I look at is, is Bloody Disgusting.

And I went to their site cuz they have a search option and searched this title. And I don’t think that, uh, it was mentioned once in 2016 because somebody in Hollywood was throwing a Vampyros party and that was the only thing that had had. Had written about it

Todd: I’d go to that party.

Craig: Yeah, I bet you would.

I, uh, and I, I just did, you know, a Google search on it, and I just didn’t, like, I, I couldn’t find anything about it as aside from a Wikipedia page, uh, and the IMDB page. Uh, so I don’t think that this is as widely known as, as you think, at least not in America. What I will say, I guess, and this is being kind, is that maybe in 1971, Something like this would be a little bit more sensational and subversive and less, um, available.

And so maybe that would explain why it was popular. It’s just. It’s, it’s an, it’s just an, it’s a girly show. It’s a nudity show. That’s it. Like, yeah. Even though I’m not physically attracted to women, I can still appreciate the beauty of a woman’s body. And I do, and the women in this movie are beautiful and they have beautiful bodies, but I don’t need to le at them for an hour and a half.

The poor, uh, girl who plays the main. Lady 

Todd: Linda Westinghouse. Uwe Stromberg, 

Craig: yeah, Uwe Stromberg. She is buck naked for 80% of this movie. Um, just running around naked and, and, and Soledad, Miranda’s naked? Uh, probably 50%. Most of it. Yeah. At, yeah. At least. At least. Oh, more? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, she’s mostly naked all the time when she’s in it.

So I, I, again, again, I’m saying like if I were. A, a straight man in 1971 who didn’t, you know, obviously have the internet and ha who would actually have to walk into a store and hand somebody else money for pornography? Maybe this would’ve been a nice alternative. Well, um, but, uh, I can see boobs anywhere, anytime, all day.

Like this is not titillating. And, and on top of that, it’s just a bad movie. Like it’s, it’s terrible. It’s terrible. The acting is maybe one of the better things about it, but it’s still really bad. The cinematography is not good. The plot doesn’t make, excuse me, listeners, I’m sorry, but I have strong feelings about this movie and so I’m probably gonna be swearing more than usual.

Now, Todd, I know that you 

Todd: were gonna make me have to edit out all of your 

Craig: Yeah, you’re gonna have to, yes. Because, oh my God, this movie is so fucking stupid. Like I, yeah, had no idea what was going on most of the time. And that was compounded by the fact that they cast two blonde women who are identical to one another.

Todd: Oh, you’re talking about the Yeah. The other women’s not in it much. Yeah. But 

Craig: I had, she popped up and I had no idea who she was. And I thought she was, was still the 

Todd: other lady. You thought she was Linda? Yeah. You’re talking about Agra. 

Craig: Okay. Yes. And uh, Todd first sent this movie to me and I started watching it and got a good almost 10 minutes in before I realized that it was in German without subtitles.

Because the first 10 minutes are just this lady dancing around naked. Yeah. And then finally they start talking and it’s in German. And so I turned it off and I told him and he sent me subtitles. It was fine, but honestly, I. I could have watched it without the subtitles and understood it as well as I did.

It just didn’t make any sense. 

Todd: It was still, yeah, it doesn’t have much of a plot and, and I think that’s a strength of it actually, honestly, because if it made more sense, it would probably be even dumber. I, I, I mean, look, this is just one tiny movie out of a gigantic. Gigantic pool of similar type films from the sixties, unless you were seeing major Hollywood productions in the sixties or Campy B movie, PG Black and White B movies or whatever, that were still being produced then.

There’s this huge thing in the middle where with the sexual liberation, and of course Europe has always been more, you know, sexually liberal when it comes to filmmaking and things Yeah. And stuff like that. And didn’t have all the restrict codes and stuff like that. But these films were being pumped out by the thousands and we’re not just talking horror, um, we’re talking.

You know, sort of swinging spy comedies, like crazy slapstick, sex comedies, erotic globe trotting adventure kind of things. Like you can say they’re erotic because they have lots of boobs and things in them. What they don’t have is hardcore sex. In fact, usually not even like that much sex, sex at all. It’s mostly about leering at at naked women.

And again, that runs the gambit as well. Some of them were more exploitative than others. Some of them had more art to them. Some of them were just cheaply made and put out, you know, as fast as possible to, to get money. And this, I think I would, is definitely on more on that end of the spectrum. But this isn’t porn and it’s not.

I mean, of course to modern sensibilities. This is not the movie that anybody makes today. Nobody makes a movie like this now, right? They have no appeal anymore. But back then, this was huge. Women in prison movies, I mean, this is the movies like this, were were a lot of stars that we end up seeing. In horror movies, you know, a decade or two later, sometimes got their start in blaxploitation films are not far removed from this kind of thing too, with the sex and all that and the, and the nudity and things.

And so, um, Pamela Greer, I think got her were, was in several of Jess Franco’s women in prison movies before she broke out. So I, I don’t wanna just roundly dismiss this for what it is, you know what I mean? But that’s not 

Craig: fair either because I, I, I can get behind. All of that. Like erotica is nothing new.

Erotica is, you know, a tale as old as time and, and there still is a market, I think for like soft core stuff. Yes. Which I would argue that this kind of is, you’re right. It’s not porn. I’m just being, I, I’m exaggerating, but that’s it. It feels this movie, I I, I, I’m sure there are. Better quality films in this category that I would have despised less than I despised this movie because this movie just for sure, it, it doesn’t take any care.

I have literally seen porn movies that are better than this movie, just in a cinematic or narrative 

Todd: way. Yeah. But I’ve also seen some that are, are, are way worse, mean. Well obviously, 

Craig: but we’re talking about 19. I don’t wanna get into a whole discussion about what our porn preferences are, but like I’m talking about, I’m talking about movies that were made around this time, and there’s all kinds of scandal, you know, when it comes to the porn industry at this time.

But I’m talking about things like, um, deep Throat or, uh, The Devil and Ms. Jones, you know, like these were hardcore porn movies a little later, but Yeah. Huh. Right. That, um, kind of infiltrated the mainstream kind of for the first time in large part because, not to say necessarily that they were great movies, but at least there was a little bit of care with narrative and storytelling and, and, That kind of thing.

And God, I don’t know. I, I, I, I, I think, I don’t want people to think that I’m only being critical because of the lascivious nature of the movie. I don’t care about that. I am not, I. Uh, prude. I’m right. I’m not a prude. I’m not, I’m not opposed to nudity. I’m not opposed to graphic stuff. I, I’m not opposed to actual pornography.

I support sex workers. I am not prudish in that way. I just think that this is a shitty 

Todd: movie. Okay. So yeah. So let’s talk about on those merits. I agree. I mean, it is a shitty movie. Uh, it’s a shitty exploitation movie. Not unlike many that came out around this time. I do think it does have a little bit more care, but we can talk about that.

I mean, I, I felt like the movie itself. Had a sort of dreamlike quality that would pop in and out every now and then and, and then it would put you to sleep and where you would have actual dreams. Well, dreamlike 

Craig: in that, it makes no sense and you have no idea what’s going on. 

Todd: Yeah. But it in initially anyway, I found that intriguing initially.

I found that intriguing until I got into the movie and realized that it wasn’t going to commit to that at all, you know, and it was just, uh, the rest of it was just kind of sloppy and boring and pedantic. It 

Craig: just, I just felt like it failed on every level. Like I felt like it was trying to, to do something and failing, like I don’t understand the weird ass creepy chanting that would just pop in every once in a while.


Todd: you’re talking about the soundtrack, and I’ll tell you the reason that I bumped this up higher end, the top of the list is because I recently discovered the soundtrack and I thought the soundtrack was killer. Did you 

Craig: listen to it? No. In a different context. I think I could have appreciated. The score, it was very reminiscent of like 

Todd: seventies porn.

Uh, no, no. I mean, seventies porn is like jazz and stuff. I think this is reminiscent of, um, this is like psychedelic type music. 

Craig: It, it made me think of like Austin 

Todd: Powers, like Yes, exactly, exactly. Like Austin Powers type psychedelic. Uh, type music and this was just Franco’s first film to, to have this kind of score behind it.

And I thought that the juxtaposition of this bouncy kind of happy, kind of psychedelic music along with what. Otherwise, I mean, if I was just shown this imagery and asked to score it, it would’ve been very different from that. Right. You know, I would’ve been trying to make it more mysterious and kind of, uh, sensual.

Sensual and stuff. And this is just, even when what’s happening on the screen is very slow and like over the top, I don’t even wanna say dramatic, just like plotting along of just these, like, you just get really long takes of nothing but. In one case, this woman doing this sort of lame dance performance on a stage that involves her slowly taking her clothes off and draping them over another naked woman, and then coming behind her and switching clothes with her and running her hand all over her body, and it’s just like, oh my God, this has been going on for 10 minutes and, and it, it’s putting me to 

Craig: sleep.

Yeah. And fortunately for us, We get to see it twice. This like twice. Yeah. The same routine. Like, it’s not like they just mm-hmm. It’s not like they filmed it once and then showed it twice. Like she just does the same thing twice. Right. And it goes on literally at, I would have to say a good five minutes.

And it feels much longer to the point where I, I was just like, I was intentionally trying to find something else to look at. I’m like, I’ve already 

Todd: seen this. Yeah, me too. Yet. Okay. Going back to the score though, yet this had this bepi cool music behind it, I thought. And so anyway, I fell in love with that music.

Uh, and I thought, well, a movie with this music scoring it. And, and this score was fairly recently rediscovered. Uh, I think some time in the, in the mid nineties they released. The score out called, uh, vampire Russ Lesbos Psychosexual Dance Party, and, uh, released it in Britain and it, it was a bit of a hit for a while, right?

And you can go fight on YouTube. And I sent that to you. Like I said, before I even saw the movie, I, I heard the score and I thought, God, if the score is this good, at least that’s gonna be entertaining and that probably was one of the more entertaining things of the movie fair.

That being said, uh, it also was a little reminiscent of the kind of stuff that Goblin and Argento do with the chanting that seems to come in at odd places that I would argue. Makes things a little unsettling. I mean, it’s bizarre tonally, but it’s bizarre in a way that kind of, I don’t know what it, it just plays with your senses a little bit and um, I find it a little unsettling.

I found parts of this film, the parts that weren’t boring as hell were a little unsettling at times, and I think that’s an accident, honestly, and maybe more a function of the editing than is actually the filmmaking. And of course, the nonsensical nature of the plot. Adds a dreamlike quality to the whole thing.

Whether you want to give him credit for that, being intentional or not, but you know, on its merits as a completed film, I actually found the first 10 minutes I. Intriguing, as intriguing as any other of these horror movies from about this era that are kind of trying to do something different or trying to be a little more art housey, we, we start off with that weird dance sequence, like you said, which is more, more or less happening in what would be like, I guess a sixties era, what you might call strip club.

Yeah. In Istanbul where things are just a little more like, um, burlesque, kind of like this has some pretensions. To arch. She’s got a candle, laba and a mirror and, and all that. And, and it’s this woman who we talked about earlier playing, uh, the Countess Carey, but we don’t know any of this. All we know is something weird’s happening on stage.

And I thought that was kind of captivating. And then we see that there are people watching it and there’s this back and forth cutting between her and the woman you mentioned later, uh, Linda, uh, who is kind of our main character played by UA Stromberg, um, who’s sitting with a guy named Omar, who’s like her boyfriend or something.

And every 

Craig: shot of. Her is just her like dead face and wide-eyed, like, 

Todd: well, I mean, I thought that was more to show that she was getting turned on by it, I guess. Oh God, it’s closing in her eyes and all that. 

Craig: Yeah. Um, the, the, the opening sequence, it was, I mean, it was surreal to an extent because I, I very surreal, I think.

At Well, with the music largely adds to that. But, uh, I think at first, now I could be wrong, but I think that at first the other naked woman on stage appears to be a mannequin. Yeah. Um, but, but then when she starts interacting with it, it’s obviously a person. Mm-hmm. So, I, I didn’t know if that was. I don’t know what it was supposed to be.

I, I, I honestly don’t know. It, it, it is, I mean, to be fair, it is erotic. These are beautiful women. You know, this scene stand alone, I don’t hate, it’s just, In the context of this movie that I hate, it’s, I, I don’t know. I, uh, 

Todd: you’re not gonna, you’re not gonna give it too much credit cuz there’s really no payoff ultimately.

Right. Exactly. 

Craig: For Yeah, I get that. She, she, I have in my note, um, vamp lady touches herself and front of a mirror. There are a bunch of pervs watching. I also know that this was and is a thing like these sorts of erotic performances, even live sex shows are a thing. I can, I’ve, I remember I went to Amsterdam and other people when I was studying abroad and other people, uh, kind of in my study abroad group had gone to Amsterdam and had gone to live sex shows and I had absolutely no interest.

Yeah. I can’t imagine sitting in a room full of other people. Watching people have sex. Like that’s just 


Craig: yeah, I don’t get it. 

Todd: That’d be difficult for me. But, uh, is you, you’re 

Craig: sitting in and I, I was gonna go down a, a road that I’m not going. 

Todd: Um, well, the, well, they’re not having 

Craig: sex. No, they’re, well, they’re not.

I mean, she, no, they’re not. Uh, but she’s definitely touching this other woman’s body and, um, in sensual ways, and, and it is, it is sensual and erotic. I think that this, the actress does a good job and, and, uh, obviously is vulnerable in doing all of this in the nude, and, and she has a beautiful body and all of that.

So I’m not critical necessarily of. That in particular, you’re right, the bl the blonde who we come to find out is Linda in the audience is totally into it, but then like it’s cutting between the show and her face and then just all these weird images. Yeah, like drops of blood dripping down a window. Um, a scorpion that we see 500 

Todd: times.

Yeah, a kite. A kite kite flying through the air. Yeah. Some cabanas like by a seaside dock and somewhere we, I think we, we learn as a Turkey, or this is all taking place in Turkey too, and was shot in Turkey. And I loved seeing actually some of that late sixties footage of Turkey. Uh, but, but yeah. But, but it’s, it’s, it’s a little, it throws you off a little bit because then there’s this.

Linda, I, Linda, I’m calling you Linda. Linda.

And with all those shots you’re like, is this supposed to be where they are? Are we moving on to a new spot? No, this is her dream. Yeah, right. Like 

Craig: after the show, 

Todd: I guess. Yeah. And she’s being haunted by this woman. Right. Like there’s a sense that she feels like she’s being called, like she can’t get this out of her mind and there’s this, this, this voice and there’s all these images that she can’t make sense of.

And the next thing we see is she’s in a psychiatrist, uh, office. She’s laying down talking to her therapist and she’s saying, describing this. And that’s when it finally grounds, oh, okay, now we know it’s a dream. Okay, now we know she’s haunted. She’s describing this to her, her therapist, who is haha.

Drawing pictures instead of actually making notes. And she’s telling him that she was aroused by this and he says, look, I think this means you’re just sexually frustrated. You need to find a lover, a better lover. And so she returns to their seaside resort by the beach. And she, and actually I don’t think this is a resort.

I think this is where she lives cuz she works, uh, for this company called Simpson. And Simpson, which is so 

Craig: clunky. Like they just, oh, it’s super clunky. They just, they, they have. To, they just need to get her to this vampire lady somewhere. So, oh, I work somewhere where I have to go talk to this lady about an inheritance 

Todd: clunkier than that because we see her in her office.

It’s like, what? Like a 32nd scene Uhhuh, where somebody comes up to her and says, oh, miss, uh, there’s this thing, and there’s this account, and there’s this account. And then she stops her and just announces to her coworker, oh, I need to go to Anatolia to see the account as carat about an inheritance. Like what?

Yeah. And then boom, she’s now going to these islands on a boat, right? Yeah. To this island? Yeah. And she’s at the hotel, but the boat has already left to take her to. This other place. So she said, the guy there says that the Countess has booked a room for her. And so this weird guy, NAIT who works there, I, I 

Craig: called him Igor cuz I didn’t know his name.

And that’s what he reminded me of, this little hunchback guy. Like I, I expected him when he was leading her to her room to say, Walk this way. Like, yes, 

Todd: he had that vibe. And, and this is the director of the movie, by the way. This is Jess Franco and Oh, 

Craig: that’s hilarious. I wish I had known that. Mm-hmm. I would’ve thought that was funny.

Yeah. But it’s really funny because like, he takes her to her room and he, it seems like its kind of maybe kind of putting the moves on her or something, but, uh, she. Like lays down and has a little nap, ma um, and wakes up and then, and then goes walking around the building, this hotel or whatever. And um, Igor like pulls her aside and is like, don’t go to that island, death lives there, or something like that.

And then he is like, come to the wine cellar later. And by later, yes, by later it’s, he meant. Five 

Todd: seconds from now. Yeah, the next scene, because 

Craig: she goes there, sees him torturing a woman and goes about her business like yes. Never does, doesn’t say anything to him, doesn’t report it to anybody else, just.

Todd: Moving on. Yeah. Gets on her boat. Uh, that was pretty jarring. Oh, but what, but when she gets to the island, uh, we see that it is like the cabanas from her dreams, and she sees the same kite flying in the air and all. That’s again, she said, we get some images, the scorpions or, you know, walking around. Well, like where she is, there’s Linda and there’s this man with groovy sunglasses watching her from behind a net.

It’s her renfield. Yeah. Her renfield or her familiar? Yeah. And uh, yeah, uh, she enters the cabana’s like is, hello, is anyone home? And, uh, she can’t really find anybody. And then she wanders outside and boom, there is Countess Carroty laying out in a bikini. And her suggestion is, Hey, before you get settled down, why don’t we go swimming?

But I didn’t bring 

Craig: my bathing suit. Oh my God. That’s okay. 

Todd: No need to be shy. Nobody can see you here. So they go out and then we have a nice swinging sixties, like skinny dipping, lounging on the beach kind of a bit, right? With the upbeat music and yeah. And then they’re back at the long table in the cabana with two candle labber having dinner and they have some discussion that’s finally gonna try to move this plot forward a little bit.

Yeah. So stupid. The, uh, 

Craig: the, what’s her name? Nadia, is that her name? Um, she’s like, uh, no, actually Linda’s like, so you inherited this estate from Dracula? Do you know? Do you know Dracula? 

Todd: That’s right. 

Craig: And the Countess like, yeah, my family knows him or whatever. Like they don’t really talk about it. And then there’s just some very intense eye gazing.

Yes. And then, and then 

Todd: the Countess. Lots of zooming and panning. By the way, tons of zooming in this movie. Oh my God, there’s so many. And she, the 

Craig: Countess pours them wine and the Countess is like, I love red wine. 

Todd: So 

Craig: stupid. And then, and then Linda. Linda has like one drink of this wine. I don’t know if it’s roofie or what, but she immediately has a headache and like maybe I better lie down and immediately passes out on.

The table. Yep. Mm-hmm. And the creepy guy who is, what’s her name’s, familiar or whatever, his name’s Morpho. Hilarious. Morpho than magnificent. He, she’s like, she just, she just snaps at him like a dog. Like she never says anything. Uh, like she’s like morpho. Well, and he never talks, and he just does whatever she wants him to do.

I loved that 

Todd: part. Right. He’s under her spell, 

Craig: so he carries her to bed. This all happens. So quickly and still feels like so slowly. I swear to God. I was looking at the timestamp every couple of minutes. Yeah. And 15 minutes in I was like, oh my God, there’s still an hour and 15 minutes left. And it felt like that the whole time.

Yeah, it’s true. He, he carries her and puts her in a bed and then, The Countess appears when she wakes up. The Countess is in her room, like behind some billowy curtains. There are lots of billowing curtains in this movie. Mm-hmm. And she’s standing there. She has blood on her lips. Why? I have no idea. And then in my notes, the next thing I have is uncomfortable boob fondling.

Kissing and then they, like, they get down on the floor and I don’t know, she’s fondling her boobs and kissing her and stuff. I’m not sure what they’re doing. Yeah. And then so the Countess bites her neck and is like sucking on it for a while and then comes up and is slobbering. Bloody slobber all over her and it was the most unsexy thing I have ever seen.

Todd: It was definitely not sexy. It was gross, 

Craig: it was disgusting. It looked like real saliva like, like she just built up a whole mouthful of saliva and then like popped a little blood capsule in there or something and it just ran out of her mouth. It was disgusting. 

Todd: A low budget movie, I’m sure that’s exactly what happened.

So gross. Uh, Linda’s passed out by now, and then she wakes up by herself. She goes downstairs and walks outside to find the Countess floating dead in the pool. Yeah, but why does she just assume that she’s dead? Well, I mean, her eyes are open and she’s floating there not moving, and she’s got the blood on her mouth.

I don’t know. She, she, she does, she, you’re right. She makes no effort to go out and go, Hey, are you okay? Well, we have no idea what happens 

Craig: because the next time we see Linda, she’s like catatonic in a hospital. And, and we find out through dialogue that she was like found on the beach and has amnesia. Yeah.

Todd: It’s, it’s a pretty jarring cut to this other woman that you’re talking about who I also thought that it was Linda. I. At first 

Craig: because they’re identical twins. The o, well, the only difference is the agra, well, they call her Ara. She looks, she looks maybe a little bit older and she has slightly shorter hair.

Those like beyond that, they are both platinum blondes. With long hair. Yeah. Ice, blue eyes 

Todd: like every other actress from this era. Yeah. That’s, that’s a common problem with these movies, honestly, that I have Anyway. They’ve all got the same hairstyle, the hair, same hair color, the same makeup. Well, she’s, uh, we, we find out she’s in a room in some kind of facility, which turns out to be Dr.

Seward’s private clinic. This guy, what an asshole. 

Craig: Yeah, he’s such douche bag. Both of the doctors in this movie are such douche bag, but this guy’s particularly douchey and 

Todd: Oh, this the Dr. Steiner? Yeah. The one who kind of comes running in. I don’t whichever one 

Craig: is like, yeah, he’s an ass treating these women, but is also.

Interested in the occult and blabbers on and on and on about the, he’s so annoying. Well, 

Todd: this Agra gal is, is supposed to be like the Lucy, I think of this particular version of Dracula. Cuz we, we come to find out she, she is, she’s coming back. I knew it. She’ll take hold of me again and I’m so happy, you know, help me so she won’t leave me again.

Right. So, uh, yeah, she’s kind of fl flipping 

Craig: out. She, this guy, she’s great. She’s a previous lover, but I, mm-hmm. And, and I guess, That is Nadine’s Mo. That’s what she does. She lays it out. She tells Morpho, like Morpho doesn’t know. Yeah, she 

Todd: eventually just says, right? Like, well, we need to know. She Right.

Craig: That’s what it’s for. There, there, I mean, we can talk more about backstory and exposition in a second, but basically what she says is she loves women and, um, she loves seducing women and that’s what she does. And, but, Yeah, she’s obsessed with or in love with Linda. This one’s different. Yeah, she’s actually really obsessed with this one.

So Agra is just some former woman that she has done this to, who she doesn’t care about, but also like these, those scenes with, um, Agra were really uncomfortable because she appears to be either in sexual ecstasy or. Painfully horny like,

Todd: like somebody needs to get this woman a vibrator. Something 

Craig: immediately, like on an emergency basis, like, get out the emergency vibrator because this woman is in need, 

Todd: needs release badly. 

Craig: But it was un, it was uncomfortable to watch because she’s just writhing around like. Touching herself, like thrusting her pelvis into the floor, moaning and groaning all the 

Todd: time.

Honestly, I couldn’t tell if it was just poor acting on the part of a person who’s supposed to be an an agony or if it was supposed to be. Very, very sexual. Oh, I 

Craig: think it was definitely supposed to be sexual and as it was very uncomfortable. But whoever that poor actress was, she went for it. Like, 

Todd: did she did?

Good for you? And they don’t cut away. I mean, I think this is part of the cheap nature of this. There’s not a lot of cutting here. So these scenes play out in like one long take. And like I said, if there needs to be camera movement, The camera’s on a tripod and it’s just zooming in there and panning over there.

Like, there’s no dolly shots in here. There’s no, there’s very little care taken to filmmaking. In fact, the, these scenes up in her room and anything that does not have a naked woman involved. It seems to be lit very poorly and uh, kind of just poorly filmed. Yeah. When there is a naked woman involved, it’s like, oh yeah.

Beautifully lit cheese cloth. Very, I mean, there’s a very big stylistic difference between the two things, and it was, and, and even times when it’s just out of focus. Yes. In some of these, right, which is really irritating, right? Like if there 

Craig: are no boobs, what’s there to look at? Like why even bother to focus the camera?

Todd: Exactly.

I love this though. This is just 

Craig: fun. No, it’s infuriating because apparent, apparently, Linda is also under this doctor’s care. She has amnesia. She doesn’t even know who she is until she just does, and then she just doesn’t have 

Todd: amnesia anymore. Yeah. That’s right. Yep. Can’t remember her name. Can’t remember anything until eventually she does five seconds after 

Craig: saying she has amnesia and, and like her boyfriend comes to fetch her because he read about this mystery woman in the paper.

He is like, oh, she’s missing. 

Todd: So that must be her. It must be her. And I came about the woman you found on the beach. Yeah. That God, 

Craig: yeah, I’m here about that woman. Oh, it, yeah. Then she doesn’t have. Full amnesia anymore, but she doesn’t, she says, I don’t remember what happened on the island except. For everything that happened.


Todd: except all I’ve, all I’m seeing in my head is a dead naked count as parody floating at a swimming pool. And I’m, I wonder if it was just a dream or not. And all of this is done in voiceover where we see them walking around, kind of like going into cafes and kind of hanging out at their house or whatever.

And the me and this is cutting, uh, with shots of count as Carey. Clearly very much alive, looking at them through like panes of glass or from like a cafe across the street from Windows that we can’t see because it’s, it’s framed up too tightly. And again, this is another spot where I actually felt like the movie was doing a decent job of.

Throwing a little mystery my way. You know, I, I didn’t know was it a dream? Like, so much of that was surreal anyway, and now she’s out of it, and now they’re cutting to count as Carey, who’s clearly alive, and she’s, she’s looking onto her. So, so she’s not dead. Was she pretending to be dead? Did I, you know, all of that.

I, why did she just leave her? Like, I kind of had these questions, don’t get me wrong. The, the movie doesn’t really satisfactorily answer any of this. And I don’t think it’s that sophisticated, but I thought that at this point in the movie, we were getting back to the, what I was feeling in the very beginning, which was this interesting cutting and editing that created this real surreal kind of dreamlike, kind of off-putting quality, all with that psychedelic music behind it that I just wasn’t sure I knew what was going on.


Craig: say interesting. Cutting and editing. I would say sloppy. Like, it just, it feels like it’s just slopped together. 

Todd: Well, you see the, you see the scorpion again. You see the kite again. You know, you get to see calls back to those things. And I’m thinking these are symbolic. I feel like he was trying to create sort of an art housey type movie, cuz it certainly has a bit of that feel to it.

I, I 

Craig: guess, but it’s just not, it’s not well done. Like no, I, I’m pretty, I’m pretty sure that Nadine watches Omar and Linda. Bang. Um, and then Linda wakes up from that to more psychic calling, and she’s just buck naked, just strutting around. Mm-hmm. And then I can’t imagine that this was for a stylistic purpose, but you’ve got this shitty Hey, handy cam shot.

Of Nadine Wa or one of them walking up. It’s Linda, I think, walking up this spiral staircase now that the, the space in which it is shot is beautiful and it’s lit really in an interesting way. It’s like red and she and white and walking up these. Uh, this winding staircase, but it’s just, it looks like somebody’s shooting it on their phone.

Like it’s shaky. 

Todd: Yeah. Uh, I thought it was a little 


Craig: All right. That’s fair. If it, if, if it’s meant to be a POV shot. Yeah. Okay. Uh, I don’t know if that’s the case, but if so, then 

Todd: Okay. She’s kind of found herself to that house, so like it, this is super clunky. There’s a, now there’s like a 

Craig: house. I think that Nadine.

Is in the same hotel that they’re in? I think that, no. Yeah, I think she’s just in a different 

Todd: room. Oh really? I think so. 

Craig: I don’t know. I could be wrong, but she, because Linda just wakes up and gets out of bed with Omar and walks around and ends up in 

Todd: Nadine’s room. Well, yeah, she like walks around outside.

She’s like outside climbing steps and things like Is she outside? Yeah, there’s a shot of her. She wakes up from Omar, she walks outside. Then there’s a shot of her walking up the steps outside to this big house, which is called the Urs Ursula house or something. I don’t remember it like it’s referenced earlier.

Oh, okay. 

Craig: Well I missed that, but it’s not in Nadine’s house. No, 

Todd: it’s not the beach house. It’s not the beach house. No. This is like nad uh, it is referenced later. We don’t really know what it is. All we see is that, um, Nadine is in there. There’s this really long scene, like you referenced earlier, that’s just this long exposition where she’s telling nobody.

In particular except Morpho. Um, she’s basically saying, uh, oh, this was my father’s house. It was a hundred or 200 years ago. I don’t remember. Uh, but suddenly the count appeared, count Dracula. I looked down and I saw fighting going on outside, and there were soldiers in battle and stuff. And, and Count Dracula was killing people, I guess.

And he stuck a knife into the soldier lying on top of me. Honestly, I couldn’t figure out 

Craig: what all this was. Some, some, uh, some forces were like raiding or pillaging. Yeah. That, that village and they were, uh, raiding the homes and raping women in the, the street. Right. And, uh, Dracula rescued her from that.

But then bit. Yeah, bit her and presumably became her lover and she didn’t like it. Came back to her night after night and eventually when she was on the point of death, then he turned her and made her a vampire. But she doesn’t like men. She is Vampiro. 

Todd: Yes. And she says, Women are captivated. She’s captivated by women, and women are captivated by her.

So she, she steals their identities and becomes them, is kind of what she says, and, which I don’t understand. I don’t know. You know, it’s clunky to just throw all this into one’s dumb monologue that this woman just lays on a, a sofa and just speaks to the air. But that’s, that’s what we get. So now we know why she’s a vampire.

Kind of her relation to Dracula and why she’s a lesbian, a, a male hating lesbian. Yeah. Um, I guess we had to have a reason back in the seventies for, for this, I guess. Yeah. But she says out loud, now she’s met Linda, and now I’m under her spell. I must initiate her into my circle. 

Craig: Right. And, and so that’s, so Linda somehow ends up in her room and she’s like in a.

Trance. And Nadine gives her a chalice to drink from. And she does. And she nadine’s like, she’s like, that was blood. Did 

Todd: you notice that was blood? Did you notice that was blood? 

Craig: So stupid. And then, and then she says, you’re one of us now. Um, the queen of the night will bear you up on her black. We blah, blah, blah.

Then there’s they more lesbian 

Todd: sex. Lesbian sex time. Yeah. Intercut with, uh, with Agra, who now has a sort of phallic, God, I guess she, she’s her, oh my God. She has a 

Craig: giant clown dildo. Yeah. She, somebody, somebody helped her out and it d I don’t think it’s, is it, is it literally a dildo? I don’t think that it is, but it’s so 

Todd: phallic.

I don’t think it is, but it’s suggestive of a PHUs, yeah. Uhhuh that she somehow now has in her bed with her for some reason, that again, she’s. She’s going through her ecstasy or whatever, just kind of caressing it with her hands. It’s so, it’s so charmingly. 1960s eroticism from Europe. Maybe I kind of like look a little more kindly on these things and roll my eyes in, in, in a different way than you do because it, it’s, it just kind of tickled because of your worldly sensibilities.

Craig: No, no. It’s just the same and I’m just this dumb American. 

Todd: No, it’s because. We, I think we have the same thing about the Gilo. You know, I just like this time period, I like the o the, the costumes and the things. I like the silly sensibility that, you know, is totally foreign to us now. The dumb cheesecake, like this is what turned people on back then, obviously doesn’t anymore.

But I, I find that charming and fun to watch as opposed to getting angry at it and, Wondering why I’m wasting my time, you know? Well, I 

Craig: don’t know. Yeah, that, that pretty much sums up how I felt about it, so I, I guess, 

Todd: right. 

Craig: Again, like I said, it’s just that it’s a bad movie. It’s not about the lesbian sex and stuff like that.

Like I don’t have any problem with that. It’s just that the movie’s not good. No, it’s not, it wasn’t fun to watch. It wasn’t interesting. I was angry about it. I still am a little bit. Okay, so, um, then Nadine feeds on Linda again, and when that happens, Agra freaks out. I don’t really 

Todd: know why. Yeah, probably like, you know, just been passed on to the new person.

She’s been left on the cold, but then she 

Craig: feels it, it cuts to a scene. In the psychiatric hospital. Yeah. Where the, where the doctor is, like in his office or the lobby or whatever. And Omar, the boyfriend is there, but he’s like catatonic. Yeah. Because he’s lost a lot of blood. What, when? 

Todd: Why she bit him? She did.

She bit him. There was a scene. Well, we never saw it explicitly, but it was implied because after Linda got up and wandered around and had, they had their thing, there was a shot of Omar laying in his bed, but his eyes were open, but he wasn’t moving. And uh, Nadine was standing outside, kind of staring at him and I thought, okay, she’s gonna bite him next.

But we don’t see it happen. Of course. But, but the doctor says, don’t worry. It’s okay. I mean, I’ve studied a lot of vampire lore. You are safe. You can’t cross over into their world. But Linda is different. She’s in danger. So, Su this is after Omar suddenly wakes up and he is better. Like a scene later. Yeah.

Immediately. Right. And it’s like, uh, who knows how and why. Like the, the dots are connected by anybody in this movie that suddenly now we’re all talking about vampires very matter of factly and talking about who’s in danger and who’s not. Up until now, everything was supposed to be a great mystery, but now it seems like Dr.

Seward kind of knew all along what was going on, and he was digging through his books to try to figure it all out, you know? Yeah. 

Craig: It’s bizarre. And so now we know that Nadine is Indo Linda and Linda’s of Vampire, and the, the doctor says that she’s in danger, and he tells her the only way you can kill a vampire is by, you know, a, a fatal blow to the head.

You either have to take an axe and split their head open, or you have to like, uh, Put a rod in their, Pierce it with the bar. Yeah. Right in their head. And so that’s some new vampire Lord, see. Well, which is fine. I mean, this, uh, it, it defies convention, you know, she is out in the daytime all the time, so, yeah.

I, I have no idea what the vampire qualities are here, but that’s how you have to kill them. You have to destroy their head. And then apparently they needed to, I don’t know why this happens, but, Um, Igor, I don’t know his real name. Um, but e Igor Kidnaps Linda? Yes. And, and 

Todd: takes, 

Craig: oh, this is so embarrassing.

The scene takes her, takes her to his torture. Cellar. Oh my God, it’s so stupid. Yeah, this 

Todd: is really dumb. 

Craig: And, and, and goes on and on. Like, you, you, you, I suppose you could play the clips. I don’t know how many German fans we have.

He rambles for like three or four minutes about 

Todd: nonsense. It’s nonsense. It’s random garbage. It’s clumsy and yeah, and he, he, 

Craig: he says he’s gonna torture her because he loves her and he hates her. And is he the one who says something stupid like, Uh, my hate and my love for you are infinite. Yes. Yes, yes. And and she still has the last dead woman that she full knew well about and didn’t tell anybody.

So it’s her own fault, I suppose. Then she, she kills, she, she tricks him into untying her, and she kills him with a hacksaw, 

Todd: which we don’t even get to see. There’s no, there’s no blood or anything. No, but because, 

Craig: because she’s missing. Omar and the therapist, I don’t know, one of these stupid men, doctors, Omar, and one of these stupid men, doctors believe that, uh, Nadine must have her.

So they go to Nadine’s house and go in and they’re snooping around. And then Nadine says, morpho and. Morpho shoots at them and they run away. Like it’s just the funniest thing, like, oh, we, we think that she’s in there, but somebody shot at us, so we just have to leave. And like, 

Todd: that’s just it. And then they go to the nightclub again.

We get to see the Countess do the exact same performance, more or less, all over again. Uhhuh. In another 10, 15 minute exploitation scene of two women naked. That was the point at which I was like, oh God. And I was, I mean, it wasn’t the first time, but I was definitely wandering around the house waiting for that to be done.

Uh, but then at the end of this one, she actually bites that woman on stage. It kills her, right? And. Kills her, which it’s not clear at the time, but later Omar, Omar says to the doctor, this local performer killed this woman on stage plus Linda’s missing and all that. I think they’re all connected. And somebody had said something to him about the house on the hill.

Yeah. Yeah. I don’t know. He, he very clumsily starts to put it all together. So they decide they need to go up, up to the house, 

Craig: but they don’t stay cuz they get shot at. And then immediately, yeah. But then, but then immediately we see Ru Linda. Running on the beach towards the house. And she does. She arrived.

Mm-hmm. This makes no sense to me. She pounds on the doors. We are forced to look at that scorpion dying underwater. Now obviously this is meant to be symbolic, but it is just so heavy handed. Like, I get it. Yeah, I get it. But it 

Todd: doesn’t make any, scorpion is the vampire and now it’s dying. And now it’s 

Craig: dying.

So she goes in and Nadine is like, you know, just in a garter belt. And a like a scarf or something laying on the bed and she says, the end has come from, come from me. I don’t understand what is happening 

Todd: here. Why is she dying? I don’t know what happened. I don’t know. And, and it, I’m not sure. It seems like Seward got choked out.

We missed that bit. Seward got choked out by her. Familiar. Oh yeah. Whatever. 

Craig: Who cares? 

Todd: Did she get shot at one point? Maybe she did get shot. 

Craig: I don’t remember her getting shot. I don’t know what happens to her, but what it seemed like to me was that she needed Linda’s blood. And I think she kind of says that to Linda and Lin and Linda’s like, nah, refuse, 

Todd: don’t wanna, well, she says, I don’t want to be like you.

I don’t want to join you. 

Craig: Whatever. But so then Linda bites Nadine’s neck. Yes. And, and in my notes I have Nadine dies. Agra comes Linda stabs Nadine’s head. That’s, that’s the series of events. Oh, and then when she stabs Nadine in the head, she stabs her in the eye. We don’t see it when it happens. Instead, we see.

Uh, cherry flavored Kool-Aid spray up into Linda’s face. Right. Um, but we do then later see that, uh, it was her eye that had been stabbed because Morpho comes in, kisses the dead, Nadine, and takes the spike out and then kills himself with it. 

Todd: Yes. This is again, trying to be very artsy, I think. Uh, cuz it’s like, you know, it’s just kind of in, in reflection and all this, it’s so slow, uhhuh and just so boring.

And then finally the Scorpion has now drowned. Yeah. And I felt bad for that scorpion. I did too. I think, I think they probably really drowned a scorpion. You know? I’m sure they did screw those guys and the kite falls out of the sky and so, uh, you know, we kind of get that wraparound so, you know, it has some art to it.

Craig: Yeah. And Omar shows up and he’s with the doctor, and the doctor tells Linda just, it was all just a dream. And she’s like, no, it wasn’t the end God. 

Todd: Yep. Sailing away on their boat. It was, 

Craig: it was just really, really bad. And we’ve seen worse. There’s a remake. 

Todd: There’s a remake. Yes. 

Craig: Did you didn’t know that. Oh, cool.

There’s like in, there’s like a 2008 remake that I, I read. Follows the same story, if you want to call it that. I, I, I don’t know. I No, no, let’s watch that. No, let’s not. Um, in fact, like I, I am thinking of movies, uh, to pay you back for this one, and I’ve already got one in mind, just so, oh, sweet. 

Todd: Um, oh, is this, Is this starting the dueling battle wars now?

The Yes. Are we entering a new phase of our relationship and our podcast right now, or now we’re just actively trying to, I, 

Craig: I am going, I’m gonna make you watch some graphic gay male sex.

You are gonna be seeing dong all day. Um, anyway. Wow. Yeah, so, uh, I hated it. I do not under any circumstance recommend it. I have nothing nice to say about it. That’s 

Todd: all. I’m glad we finally watched a Just Franco movie. I enjoyed seeing these beautiful women in this, uh, otherwise forgettable film. The women are beautiful.

I did feel like there was some attempt at art, uh, as much as he was willing to do, but not very strong attempt, and most of it failed. And, uh, he knows that he, he wasn’t making. These movies for high art. This is definitely an exploitation film was intended to be that way. I didn’t really expect much more out of it.

I was pleasantly surprised by a few interesting shots and some interesting editing and this killer score, which, um, I kind of almost wish I hadn’t seen the movie because I don’t want. It’s like the score has been kind of spoiled by the imagery that it accompanies. Yeah. When I was just listening to it by itself, uh, while I’m like cooking and like hanging out around the house, which I was literally doing for weeks, I just loved it.

Almost like I, I sometimes pull on some of those Argento goblin scores Yeah. Just to kind of score my life. And now that, you know, I’ve, it’s being associated with some of the clap trapp in this movie. It, it, it’s lost a little bit of its luster, but I still think it’s a great score. A lot of people apparently do.

And so, yeah, it had, it had a few things. To offer it. I don’t feel like I wa, I don’t feel like I wasted my time a hundred percent, but this is not a movie that I think anybody should go out and see. Um, it’s just really not worth it. No. And 

Craig: not be, not because it’s offensive, it’s just bad. Like it’s just not Yeah.

It’s just, it’s not fun to 

Todd: watch. You could fast forward through it if you’re curious at all. But yeah, maybe we’ll do another Jess Franco movie. That’s actually better. We’ll see. I’m kind of curious about that. Count Dracula movie from the seventies that he directed. Hmm. We’ll see. Be interesting to see how that, how that compares to the hammer ones.

Since it’s got some of the same people in here. All right, well, thank you for, um, allowing me to torture you, Craig with, uh, the Vampiro Lesbos. If, uh, you guys have on the off chance seen this movie, we’d love to hear what you think about it. Feel free to rip me a new one. Join our patron community and, uh, help us pick out these movies if we have nice little conversations going on on our Patreon page, Once again, this is Todd. And I’m Craig, with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.

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