Elvira Mistress of the Dark

Elvira Mistress of the Dark

elvira in her car

Back in 1988, Halloween horror icon Elvira finally got her own movie. It didn’t make a big splash, but it did make a huge impression on both of us – and, we suspect, many likeminded souls of our generation. This movie celebrates all that is goofy and fun about this iconic character, and we had a blast revisiting the camp and the cheese this holiday season.

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Elvira Mistress of the Dark (1988)

Episode 53, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw

Todd:  Hello, and welcome to another episode of 2 Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd. 

Craig:  And I’m Craig. 

Todd:  Today, we, cheated a little bit. It is, Halloween, time, and we were looking for good Halloween type films. And the one that really came to mind, you could call a horror film, but it’s maybe more of a comedy than a horror film. But it is a movie that is near and dear to both of our hearts, and that is Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, the 1988 feature film. The first feature film featuring Elvira, who we all know from Halloween time is pretty much an icon of the season. And I’ve been a pretty big Elvira fan for a very long time, for since I was a kid, basically. I even had Craig, I’ll admit, I had a one of those big stand up cutouts of Elvira in my room, like, when she was shilling for Coors back in the eighties. You know? Like Right? Yeah. 

Craig:  Oh, I’m super jealous. I always wished I had one. 

Todd:  Yeah. It was pretty awesome. It was my pride and joy until about, I don’t know, maybe about the time I got married, and Vic thought it was silly. So, I just I I got rid of it, and and now I kind of regret it. Yes. I don’t know as an adult what I would actually do with it in my apartment, but yeah. I was a huge fan. In fact, when this movie came out, it was in 1988, and a couple of my friends actually went to see it in the theater.   And I was super jealous, and they were quoting it all the time and stuff. And when it came out on video, we did end up with it on video. I don’t remember if it was one of those that we rented from the store and and videotaped like we would often do, or if we actually bought the video, but I saw this a lot growing up. And both I and my sisters, it was it was kind of a family favorite. Looking back on it today, I still love it, but we probably looking at it with a critical eye would have different feelings about it. I don’t know about you, Craig. How long had it been since you’d last seen this? 

Craig:  I don’t know. It can’t have been that long. I love this movie. Like like you said, when we were talking about movies, we wanted to do something fun around, Halloween time because it’s, you know, it’s my favorite time of the year, with horror movies playing on TV around the clock and, the fall coming in, and it’s just, you know, this nostalgic feeling that comes around every year. I just love it. And so I actually suggested this one thinking that you would roll your eyes at it, and was pleasantly surprised when you were enthusiastic about it too. I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve seen it. I probably watched it around this time last year at some point.   Like you, I grew up with it. And like you said, I I just feel like I was always aware of Elvira. She did so much, marketing, in the eighties, like you said, for for Coors, and and she had calendars and and Halloween costume line and and perfume. And, I mean, she was she was marketing like Craig, and so she was always very visible. And I don’t remember the first time I saw this movie. I know that it wasn’t in the theater. I don’t know if it was when it finally started rolling or or airing on, TV or like you said, if if we rented it from the video store. But like, we had very similar experiences.   My sister, who is not a huge horror fan, would never, be hesitant to watch this movie with me. We both enjoyed it. And when I talked to her today, she called me while I was watching it and she asked me what I was doing. And, I said, I’m watching Elvira, Mistress of the Dark for the podcast. And she goes, ah, it’s a casserole. Like, we we we were we were quoting, this movie all the time too. And, yeah, watching it with a more critical eye, this is not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination as far as tech as far as, you know, cinematography and and acting and and all that. It’s not.   And but I don’t think that it was ever intended to be. I I think that it was intended to be kind of in the vein of a B movie. It’s the humor is, low brow and but it’s hysterically funny. It is so funny. And I don’t think we’re cheating, you know? I think that Elvira is an icon in the horror industry. She has always stayed away from, the really hardcore intense stuff. That’s just not her her thing. Her thing has been more the Todd, old, 19 fifties and sixties b movies, other b movies from other generations.   But she’s always while she is serious about the industry, everything is is lighthearted and fun too. And, I think that’s what my sister appreciated about the movie and I still regardless of of if we wanna talk about how skilled these actors or filmmakers are. It doesn’t make any difference to me. I love this movie. It’s hilarious. I will watch it over and over again, well into the future. So I was really excited to do this because it is one of my favorites, from when I was a kid. 

Todd:  Well, I think we are clearly on the same page. You know, it’s funny you mentioned the Elvira calendars. As soon as those came out, that was my calendar for the year. And I probably for I don’t know how many years they were those those calendars were coming out. And after a while, I think even recycling some of the same photos. And it’s almost a miracle that my parents let me, like, have this big cutout and this, this calendar in my room of Elvira because it’s a little racy, but I think the real reason is because my dad enjoyed it just as much as I did. 

Craig:  That’s funny. You know, she is she is racy. You know, she’s it’s hard to just not believe that Elvira is a person that exists in the world because when she appears, she almost always appears in character. And she’s been playing this character since the early 19 eighties. She she’s got this, vampire kind of look, kind of a kind of a rocked out, Morticia Adams kinda look, with the sleek low cut black dress. And it’s iconic. She’s she’s been rocking the same look for 40 years. You know, this kind of big bouffant, but also long, black hair, the the the dark eye makeup, and just, you know, really over the top and heavy with the makeup, the big boobs.   And, she’s, you know, like I said, she’s an icon, and it’s just interesting that she started playing the, you know, this character is really, has been her career. She’s done a few other things here and there she actually started out doing what Elvira does at the beginning of this movie. Well, actually, that’s not fair. She she started out in, in comedy, in in improv comedy with the groundlings. And that’s where she began to develop this character with, you know, the the horror image, but then kind of the valley girl personality. But she moved her career into, hosting these late night film showings on, like, syndicated cable channels, and local channels. She became big in LA, and she did that for a long, long, long, long time, and and became, you know, nationally recognized for that. And eventually, that led to her making this first, full length film where basically she’s just playing the same Elvira character she’d been playing forever.   And when the movie begins, she’s doing what she does best, hosting one of these old b movies, at a local, tv station and it’s it’s just her standard brand of commentary it’s funny. It’s over the Todd. And I I am down with it. I just think she’s great. 

Todd:  Yeah. She does a real good job of riding the sexy but silly. It’s crazy how how she pulls that off, but, I think that’s also why my wife likes her so much. Like, normally, my wife would roll her eyes at this sort of thing, and roll her eyes at this kind of movie. But when she heard we were watching Elvira, she and I actually sat down and watched it together. She was super thrilled, and she was laughing just as much as I was through the whole thing. Because Elvira is kind of a you know, again, when you just look at a picture of her, you don’t imagine that she would be anything but this sexual kind of Todd type. Let me just put it that way, like, maybe a feminist looking at this would would think otherwise.   But when you see this movie and I think the great thing about this movie is this movie really put some more context to her character that we never had before. We really got to see different sides of Elvira, and it really rounded her out as a character. And the way that she did it was very Todd, in that I would say, and this is what my wife says, she is a you would call her a feminist icon in this film for the way that she acts. Yes. She does have the big boobs, and yes, there are lots of these big boob jokes. I mean, it starts out with boob jokes. She’s she’s saying what she would normally say in her television thing, which is, say, Maeve King’s self depreciating jokes, and a lot of them were about her figure and a lot of them about her sexiness. 

Clip:  Hello, darling. It’s me again, yours cruelly, Elvira. The gal with the enormous, ratings. Well, that’s our show. I hope you enjoyed watching it as much as I did. Oh, boy. I mean, could you believe that cheesy looking monster? Looked like Gumby on steroids. Hey, does anybody know what that movie was about? I’ll tell you what it was about It’s about an hour and a half too long Oh, and, don’t forget next week it’s the head with 2 things, I mean the thing with 2 heads.   And until then, this is Elvira, the gal who put the boob back in the boob tube, saying unpleasant dream. 

Todd:  But then down comes the, the set for the news program that needs to come. And she’s really just, like, pushed aside, like like, nobody really cares that much for her at this television station. Even the guys who are, running the behind the scenes stuff are eating sandwiches and talking with each other, and, like, barely even watching the screen. They carry her right off the set, and the producer of the show runs up to her and says, hey, there’s a new station manager here. And he’s this stereotypical big fat Texan guy, and he rolls up to her. He makes advances towards her, and you know right away that she is not this sleazy, slutty person, but she and but she could actually stand up for herself. So even though she wears this costume, doesn’t mean that, you know, she’s up for sale. And that’s kind of what sets her the tone, I think, for her character for the rest of the movie, and it’s really smart.   And again, this is, I think, a side of Elvira that we wouldn’t have seen had there not been a movie about her. 

Craig:  Right. I Yeah. I totally agree with you. I mean, she capitalizes on her sexuality, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. She’s a beautiful woman. I mean, my gosh. Now, I think she’s, like, 67 years old. She still looks fantastic. 

Todd:  She looks the same. 

Craig:  And and, yeah, she looks like almost exactly the same. And I’m sure that, you know, there’s a lot of support going on under that dress and there’s a lot of makeup going on, but whatever. She looks fantastic, But she is not a pushover by any means. Yeah. A lot of her jokes, like you said, are self deprecating. A lot of it is pretty adolescent sexual humor, but it’s funny in that context. And I agree with you entirely. And, you know, it’s it’s interesting that, this character evolved from this actress.   Because what I’ve read about Cassandra Peterson is that she grew up feeling very self conscious about herself, about her looks and about her body. And, when she was a very young girl, I think she was 5 years old, she was badly burnt and has, really bad scarring, on her neck and back and and that’s part of the reason that her costume is designed the way it is is to cover some of that But to see somebody who, you know, came from a place of insecurity really embrace, even if it’s just a character, even if it’s just an image, to really embrace that and present as this strong female character, I think it’s great. You know? I think she’s an excellent, Yeah. The the the the comedy is pretty low brow, but if I had a daughter, I think that I would be proud if if my daughter looked up to Elvira as as a a role Todd. Because she’s a tough lady, and she holds her own, and she doesn’t let these skeezy guys, which happens to her a lot, you know, she’s always getting ogled, she’s always getting manhandled, but she doesn’t let them take advantage of her. She she holds her own, and and I I think that’s that’s great. You know, you talked about that skeezy, lecherous TV guy. He basically, you know, he propositions basically says, if you don’t sleep with me I mean, he’s even more crass than that, but, if if you don’t, then, then 

Todd:  then you’re 

Craig:  you’re out of a job. And she doesn’t care. She tells him off and starts pushing him back, and it’s hilarious because she’s backing him right into the live news broadcast. And of course the people in the booth are freaking out. And she she decks him, and he goes flying into the news desk, bust the news desk all on live TV, and she does lose her job, but she doesn’t care. You know, she says, I I’d never stay in any job where I had to work for a guy like that. And, you know, that’s that’s admirable. You know, this movie was made in 1988.   A lot has changed, for women since then. Maybe not enough, but in 1988, Elvira and Cassandra Peterson were working in a very male dominated industry. And for her to even be even though it’s fiction, for her to stand up like that, I you know, it’s I I I’m cheering her on from my seat. 

Todd:  Yeah. It’s it’s great. It really is. And then she goes into her dressing room, and she’s talking with her agent. And clearly, what what Elvira really really wants, and what she’s been pining for in this film, is a Las Vegas show act, which is actually where Cassandra Pieson started out. She did end up in Las Vegas Mhmm. As a showgirl. So some of this is actually based in reality, for her.   And, she just wants to be on Vegas and wants to be on the screen. I love this bit. You know what? This is a bit of humor that I didn’t even notice until this time. It’s funny how you can watch a movie like this and still discover things. She’s she’s standing behind this screen, and she’s changing her clothes, and she’s tossing out, like, undergarment after undergarment, over the edge, and all that. And when she comes out from behind it, she looks exactly the same. She’s wearing the same dress and everything and just sits down, and they’re chatting. And basically, her agent tells her that, yes, there is an availability.   Yes, they want to put together a show with her in Vegas, but she has to come up with some money. They want her to have some skin in the game, and she needs to come up with $50,000. And she’s like, where in the world am I gonna get $50,000 from? And as soon as she says that, a note gets delivered, and she opens it up, and it turns out that her great, aunt has died. 

Clip:  Oh, I didn’t even know I had a good aunt when she was a great one. 

Todd:  And she reads it, and decides that she needs to go for the reading of the will, and hopes that this great aunt has had lots of money and is going to leave her a huge fortune. So she drives from Kansas all the way to Massachusetts. And what’s great about it is she’s in this convertible top, this awesome, car. And, it’s decked out as you would imagine. Elvira’s car would be decked out. And I think the license plate on it says kick ass. 

Craig:  It’s it’s different on the front and the back. The front, I think, says kick ass, and the the back one says too macabre. Oh. But, yeah, it’s a it’s a fantastic car. And they they they built this car for this movie. And when the when shooting was done, she kept it, and she still drives it around whenever she goes, you know, to conventions or whatever appearing as Elvira, which is pretty fantastic. 

Todd:  It’s pretty awesome. And and the movie has this montage sequence of of just goofball jokes really all the way through when she’s driving across this the country. And again, another thing I didn’t quite realize until I’m older and I really wanted to pay attention to it was that she’s they they have her driving from Kansas to Massachusetts and it looks like it all just happens in a day. 

Craig:  Yeah. 

Todd:  So anyway, she arrives at Massachusetts. And where she arrives couldn’t be much more different, from, where she wants to be, you know, in Vegas. It is a small sleepy Todd, very, as we find out, very concerned about its morality. And there’s even a town council here who is very, holds kind of, I guess, some odd sway over the town in trying to keep everything moral, and it’s led up by a woman named Chastity Pariah that we will meet here soon enough. Mhmm. Not only does she pull into town and everybody starts gawking at her, but immediately her car blows up. And so there’s a huge crowd around her, and especially some local guys who were very interested in helping this girl out. Some kids, basically teenagers.   Again, teenagers played by people who look like they’re in college. And, they decide to help her out, and she takes a room at the Cozy Cot Inn in town. 

Craig:  Right. But I mean, when she pulls into this town, it’s shot on the back lot of, is it Universal Studios? It’s one one of the big studios. And you’re gonna Todd okay. You’re gonna Warner Brothers, you’re totally gonna recognize this lot. I mean, it’s it’s so familiar. They’ve shot so many movies on it. It’s called miss Midwest Street, the street that they filled all this on, and it’s so wholesome. When she pulls in, the sign that she drives by says, welcome to Falwell, a decent community.   And, of course, as she drives by, the sign breaks and falls off. And, yeah, she she meets all these people, and, the first woman who who greets her is that woman that you named, Chastity Priatt, who’s played by Edie McClurg, who has been in so many things and is so funny in so many things, but you always remember her as the secretary from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Yeah. We come to find out later that she heads up this morality committee, and she’s gonna kinda be the bane of Elvira’s existence here in town. She come she she approaches Elvira and says something like 

Clip:  Listen, young lady. I don’t know who you are or where you came from, but you most certainly don’t fit in this town. Why, you don’t even fit in that dress.   Listen, sister. If I want your opinion, I’ll beat it out of   you. Anita. Anita.   It’s the antichrist. I can’t give you the antichrist. 

Craig:  I think it’s worth noting that the vast majority of the company that makes up these townspeople are recognizable faces. There are so many recognizable faces and it’s one of those things where you know that you’ve seen these people in dozens of things, but it’s difficult to pin down exactly what it is because they’ve been all over the place. They’re character actors They’ve played small roles in a 1000000 movies. And I would go, you know every time I would see somebody pop up I would go and find them on imdb and I would pull up their credits And, like, these people literally have 100 of credits apiece, and I just scrolling through, oh, yeah. That’s what they were from. But it’s fun. I mean, especially if you’re around our age, you know, if you were around in the eighties growing up watching these types of movies or even watching television in the eighties, you’re gonna recognize so many people and and that in itself is just kind of fun. Todd more of those people, you said she goes to stay at the Cozy Cot.   The, owners are mister and missus Meeker, both of whom you’ve seen in a million things, these little kind of meek old people, And they have a daughter named Robin, and she’s kind of this young pretty brunette. Missus Meeker obviously approves of Velvira right away and and at first tells her there aren’t any rooms available, but her husband who is clearly entranced says, oh, yeah. Don’t you remember that trucker with the bad skin left this morning? So and Elvira’s like, Well, I hope you change the sheets. I mean, it’s it’s little quips. I mean, it’s not I don’t know. It’s not like this is genius writing. Elvira or Elvira. Cassandra Peterson wrote it.   She or co wrote it. There was another guy that wrote it with her. And it was produced and directed by a man who has most of his work, has been with SNL, as a producer or a director. And it has that kind of vibe to it. It’s silly. It’s not high art at all, and yet I find myself laughing out loud all the time. You mentioned, the young guys we met, Randy, Sean, and Bo. Their names really aren’t significant.   They’re always together. They’re just kind of the group of young guys. And then Elvira, Robin, the the young girl tells her that really the only place to hang out in town is, the bowling alley. So she heads over there where we meet, Travis and Billy who are played by Jeff Conway, who I totally forgotten was in this movie. He was Kineke from Grease, and Frank Collision. And they’re kinda your typical small town I don’t know if rednecks is the right word, but good old boys. And the bowling alley is is run by this kind of tall Amazonian woman with these great big boobs named Patty. Elvira comes in and as she’s looking around, she has a seat and these these two rednecks come over, and start making really, really lewd, comments to her, which she just takes in stride and 

Todd:  Hey, baby. I got something to show you. 

Clip:  Sorry. I left my magnifying glass at home.   Hey. That’s pretty good. Billy, there’s no way to talk to a lady. So how about a blow job? 

Craig:  She grabs their beers and pours them on their, crotches, and they stand up like they’re gonna give her trouble, but she pulls out this knife and and stabs one of them. And he goes, oh, you stabbed me, and she shows that it’s just a trick knife, one of those that goes down in the shaft. And then this other guy, Bob, who is clearly the town hunk, comes over and, and and intervenes and, and and gets rid of those guys. And so then it’s obvious that she’s got a thing, for Bob. But Bob is apparently, Patty, the the barmaid, has her eyes on him too. And when Bob and Elvira walk out together, one of the redneck guys says to Patty, looks like you got trouble. And Patty says, trash does not compete with class. And it’s just so funny because she’s so trashy looking herself, and she’s got these great big huge boobs and this skin tight sweater.   And, it’s just, you know, these characters are silly and goofy and over the top, but they they fit perfectly in the world of the movie. And and it’s just it’s it’s fun to watch. 

Todd:  Bob is probably the guy that everybody in town wants to get with, but he is this 

Craig:  Oh, right. 

Todd:  Super sweet, really really overly nice guy who looks like a total stud, but, is Yeah. Is right in there with the with the upholding the town morals, just very inexperienced, doesn’t really know what to do. It’s it’s more Elvira’s making advances towards him. And throughout the film, he doesn’t know what to do with it, and she gets frustrated. I think that’s just an interesting reversal. Again, it’s more that self deprecating humor, where the one person Elvira wants to pursue, is so sweet and so nice and everything that he just doesn’t know. He’s interested, but he doesn’t know how to handle it. It’s it’s hilarious. 

Craig:  Right. It’s like yeah. I mean, he’s he’s like super innocent and naive and and obviously completely inexperienced. And he runs the local movie house, but the movie house is going out of business. 

Clip:  I, I can only play g rated movies.   Oh, well, I mean, there’s nothing wrong with g rated movies as long as there’s lots of sex and violence in him. 

Craig:  Which I thought was hilarious. Yeah. But you’re right. She makes all kinds of advances on him, but he just doesn’t get it. And and she ends up going in for a kiss with her eyes closed, and he takes off and just kinda leaves her hanging there. And then the next scene, that we’ve got is the reading of the will. And this is when we meet Vincent Talbot, who is played by William Morgan Shepherd, another actor. He’s very kind of sinister looking.   He’s an older gentleman. You’re totally gonna recognize him from things. I don’t I I can’t name anything in particular, but he’s been in a million things. He was Morgana Talbot’s, brother, and and Morgana Talbot was Elvira’s aunt. And he is anxious to get the reading of the will underway, but the lawyer, says, well, she really wanted her whole family to be here. And he says, well, I am her whole family. It’s just me. And she tells him, no.   Apparently, she’s got this, niece and and pops Elvira. And of course, she’s totally inappropriate and and she’s only concerned about what she’s gonna get. And what Elvira gets is the aunt’s house, her dog whose name is Algonquin, and her beloved recipe book. And Elvira’s upset because there’s no money there. Vincent wants to know what he’s gonna get, and as it turns out, he ends up getting nothing. And he’s clearly not happy about that. 

Todd:  He’s pretty upset, and, so was Elvira. So as Elvira goes to check out the house, I think the next scene we see is Vincent driving home with those 2 goons from the bowling alley. They’re driving him. So clearly, there’s they they call him Boss. So he is they’re they’re his minions, I guess, set up Right. Right. The 3 bad people in this town, basically. And, Right.   And they are like, well, what what do you what’s going on there? Why are you so upset, boss? And he says, I really want that recipe book. And they’re like, what are you what are you interested in an old recipe book for? And he says, that recipe book contains more power than you can ever imagine. So, really, the recipe book is a spell book. And Elvira is completely unaware of this, for quite a while. When she gets to her house, the lawyer shows her in. It’s funny because they stand up in front of a really nice looking house, and she says, oh, that one’s not too bad. He says, yes, it isn’t, but your house is over there. And it’s the one next door, which is basically, I think the Munsters house.   Isn’t it? It it just 

Craig:  It is. 

Todd:  Yeah. It’s run down. 

Craig:  I mean, it literally is. Yeah. 

Todd:  It is like on the like they use the same set or whatever. Right? So Uh-huh. She goes in, and, of course, it’s this old gothic type mansion. Everything’s covered. All the old furniture is covered in white sheets, and it’s all dusty and and cobwebby. She’s walking around, and there’s a floorboard, that’s loose that kicks her in the butt when she makes a crack about her aunt. And so she looks up and goes, oh, sorry. Sorry, auntie.   And that that there’s also a poodle. Her her her beloved dog is a poodle. So she names him she shortens it to Gonk. I guess I I forgot to mention a scene shortly before this where she encounters the, her uncle out in the street. And he drives up in a car next to her as she’s walking towards the house. And, pull he rolls down the window, and she leans in, and they have a conversation. 

Clip:  As you may have surmised, my sister and I, well, let’s just say we had our differences.   Yeah. I guess. You really got shafted. Look. I’ll tell you what, uncle Vinny. I’ll share my inheritance with you. You can have the dog.   No. Thank you. But I would be interested in acquiring that book, you know, for sentimental reasons. I’d be willing to pay you, say, $50.   Yeah. Sure. I’ll do it for $50. 

Todd:  As she says that, Chastity Pariah is walking by, and that’s all she hears. She goes, oh. And this is like a running gag through the whole movie is that Elvira says something that gets taken the wrong way by Chastity Pariah. She’s walking by, which just gets her more and more upset about Elvira’s supposedly loose morals. So anyway, as she’s in the house, looking through it, she does find the recipe book. She drops it on the couch, but Gonk, the dog, runs by and grabs the book as Elvira goes to answer the door, and the uncle is indeed at the door. And while she’s answering the door, the dog grabs the book and tucks it under the cushions of the sofa so that it’s hidden. So when the uncle comes in and, looks around and she and Elvira are talking, all he’s interested in at all is the recipe book that he wants out of that house, and he gets more and more furious when Elvira goes to get it, and it’s not there.   So we instantly know, okay, this dog has, some intelligence here. And of course, in this old Right. House, and with the uncle, and with Elvira being how she is, it becomes very clear that her aunt isn’t just an old lady, but there’s some significance to all of this that and some some significance to Elvira’s background that she’s completely unaware of. 

Craig:  Right. And we can figure that out, but it’s funny because she is just completely oblivious. Like, she has no idea anything is going on. She’s not She’s not reading much into the uncle’s aggression and anger. I love this scene. It’s so funny. Again, she goes on this whole spiel about trying to sell him the house, and she does this whole used car car salesman spiel. And it’s just hilarious.   And like you said, it ends up just making him angry, and he kinda blows up at her. But then he backs off, and, she tries she was gonna give him the book. She just can’t find it. But, so he ends up leaving, and she says, oh, don’t worry. It’ll turn up. I’ll get it to you when it turns up. And she, goes up to go to bed, and there’s this hilarious scene where she’s undressing. And it is.   I mean, it’s almost like a peep show. It’s it’s like, oh, what’s that called? Burlesque. It’s almost like burlesque, the way that she’s undressing and getting, ready for bed. And those 3 teen boys who is seen earlier are gathered down at by her house, and they’re climbing up the trellis to to peep at her. And they do and and they kinda get an eyeful. But eventually she leaves the room, and as they’re kinda struggling to see in the window, she pops back into the frame of the window, wearing like a mud mask, and she’s got her hair all up, and it looks I mean, she looks totally different and unappealing. And of course she’s caught them, but she doesn’t really chastise them or anything. She just says, don’t you boys have anywhere better to hang out? And they say, well, we just figured you might need some help, with with the house and all.   And she says, well, why did you come back when the light’s a little better? And she slams the window on their fingers, and they go falling down. And, 

Todd:  they got 

Craig:  their picture. A funny scene and they got their picture. Right? And and it’s just a funny scene because it’s, you know, she doesn’t care that they were peeping at her. You know, it’s it’s funny. She just takes it in stride, and I think it’s hilarious. That night she has a weird dream where she feels like she hears somebody, a woman calling her name and and this person, whoever it is, calls her up to, the attic and there’s a little bit of a jump scare where she sees like this old, I don’t know. I I assume it’s supposed to be her aunt, but it’s like, you know, a decrepit kind of ghost, and that just that wakes her up. And, the next day, first thing in the morning, these kids show back up, and they say, we meant it.   We wanna help you out. And and so and so’s dad owns the hardware store. We’ve got all this free paint. We’re here to help you out. And then, there’s this whole montage scene set to the song Shout, with all these kids fixing up her house, and it’s it’s it’s hilarious. You know, more and more kids keep showing up, mostly boys, but Robin, the girl, and her friend show up to help too. Hey, Elvira. You got us a couple more volunteers. 

Clip:  Great. Just grab a tool and start banging. 

Craig:  It’s just a fun it’s a it’s totally eighties. It’s a fun eighties montage with, you know, music in the background, and it culminates with, all of the kids standing out in front of the house and we’re seeing it as though we’re like standing on the porch looking at them in the street and they’re all looking up at the house and they have kind of worried looks on their faces. And Elvira walks down towards them with a tray of lemonade. She notices that they’re looking at the house. She turns around and drops the tray of lemonade, and it all breaks. And she kinda has this look of shock on her face, and we see the house, and it’s painted in all of these Craig, garish colors and different parts of it in different colors. And of course, they’re all worried that she’s gonna hate it, but she just goes, it’s fabulous. And then her house stays like that for the rest of the time.   And of course it would be a nightmare if you were on a conservative street and your neighbor painted their house that way. But it actually looks pretty cool. I mean, it’s it’s Yeah. It’s, it’s fun and neat. 

Todd:  Well, it’s a complete transformation. That’s for sure. And she thinks that it’s enough. She thinks that it’s enough to get the house sold, so she has a realtor over, to look at. He’s going to give her advice. Now, he’s totally volunteered to do this. And the realtor makes advances on her as well, and that she also rebuffs and kicks him out. And it’s a bit of a sad scene where she sits sitting there.   She’s got an open house scheduled for that day. There’s a big sign on the front that says open house Todd. And she just sits on the porch with Gonk, and, nobody nobody is showing up, because the town council has really, basically spread the word that, this woman is trouble, and nobody is to get her out, get, you know, is to pay her any mind. So she’s a a fish out of water here for sure. And even though the local kids are very much interested in her, unbeknownst to her, the town council meets again and decides to pass a bizarre sort of sort of rule, that none of the kids can be seen cavorting for her. It’s the principal of the school who who is on the council who says, I found this in my regular rounds of the boys’ locker rooms. And he pulls out the Polaroid that the kids had taken, which is hilarious because then it gets passed around the council and all the women are showing shock. And a couple of the guys are trying to tuck it into their the 

Craig:  Right. Right. 

Todd:  Is trying to tuck it into his, his his coat. And so he said that, any kid who is found cavorting with her, spending any time with her at all is gonna face immediate expulsion from school. So, Elvira, the next day is, out walking, and she comes to Bob. 

Craig:  After that day, where she couldn’t where nobody came to see her house, she gets a call, from her manager who is saying, you know, we gotta have this money. You’re gonna lose your spot if we don’t get this money. And so, the reason that she goes out walking, which is the part you were just talking about, is because she’s gonna go out and look for a job. Oh, that’s right. And again, it’s another it’s another montage, with music set behind it of her going from place to place and getting rejected at every place. And the song that’s playing in the background on this town without pity, it’s just, you know, it’s it’s it’s really good. And that’s when she meets up, with Bob who is changing the Marquis and he’s changing it. The movie that’s gonna be showing at the matinee is How Todd Duck Call.   And so far, he’s gotten how to duck up there. And, he’s complaining that, you know, nobody ever comes. And she’s like, well, obviously, you know, you’re showing these stupid duck movies or whatever. And she says, plus you have an extra e in matinee. And he says, no. I’m pretty sure that’s how matinee is spelled. And she’s like, Bob, seriously, I work in the industry. I think I know how to spell matinee.   So she climbs up there and she grabs the e, and she grabs it by the bottom part, so that sticking up out of her hand, it looks like a f. And and the whole reason she had stopped there was because Bob was putting up the letters, and the d from duck had fallen and hit her on the head. And so when he had come down, he said, 

Clip:  Oh my gosh. Elvira, I’m sorry. Are you alright?   Yeah. I think so.   How’s your head?   I haven’t had any complaints yet. 

Craig:  I mean, it’s just these stupid jokes that are like, you know, I probably they’re they’re gonna make 13 and 14 year olds laugh. And I guess that I’m at heart still a 13 or 14 year old boy because I just find them freaking hilarious too. But anyway, she when she climbs up there, she she grabs that e and then she slips and falls and catches herself so that the e that she’s holding is right in the place where the d that fell was. And of course, Chastity Pariah is on the street and looks up and sees Elvira holding up the sign putting up the sign so that now it appears to say how to f u c k instead of d u c k. And of course, it’s another one of those outrageous moments. And she she hates Elvira already. You know, we saw at that meeting, that they held really specifically about Elvira. She says something about, oh, now let’s not resort to name calling, and then she goes off on this whole stream of of calling her names, that’s just hilarious.   So it’s it’s obvious that these people want her out of town and they’re gonna do whatever they can take, to get her out of town. Meanwhile, uncle Vincent, who I think, like, runs the bank or some big business Yeah. 

Todd:  It seems weird. Yeah. 

Craig:  He’s watching her from behind his shutters from his his business, and he steps up onto his bookshelf and, like, pulls a book or something, and the bookshelf slides open and he goes into it and we see that somewhere in the bowels of his office he’s got like this evil lair. And he’s appeared to be very, you know, shady and mean up until this point, but there’s nothing really to suggest that it’s anything more than that. But now we realize that there is something more to it. He puts on, like, this kind of, like, priest looking I mean not like Catholic priest but like, you know, evil satanic priest looking thing. And he talks about the book of sight, and he’s got this whole thing where he says something like 

Clip:  He who holds the book of sight when the moon is drained of all its light will then be ruler of the night, master of the dark. The lunar eclipse, Morgana, is less than a week away. 

Craig:  And so that’s now we know that’s why he’s so gung ho, about, getting this book. And so that gives him motivation, and we know that there’s gonna be conflict there. And then, we cut back to Elvira who finds all of the high school kids at the bowling alley and she’s excited to find them because she has made a deal with Bob. She has an idea for how she can make some money, and these kids play into that plan. 

Todd:  That’s right. She went she rolled into apparently brought a bunch of her b movies with her in the trunk of the car. And she said said to Bob, you know, you’re not gonna make any money showing all these turkeys. I have a great idea. Why don’t we do a midnight showing of one of the worst movies ever made? And she’s gonna host it and all that, and make a big performance deal out of it. And so she goes and, says, well, the kids will all show up. And so she goes to the bowling alley to find the kids, but the kids themselves, are kind of ignoring her. She’s like, what’s the what’s the deal? Just just minutes before, we were all bosom buddies.   And, she says that she leads into one of the boys and her bosoms are in his face. And, and, they’re like, well, you know, we’ve all been forbidden to to talking with you. And she goes on this this I think it’s this hilarious little spiel. 

Clip:  Oh. I see. Well, last thing I would do is get you guys in any trouble. I mean, so what if it blows my only chance at taking a living? I mean, that’s not your problem. And if I get so depressed, I wind up hanging myself in the oven. Hey. Those are the breaks. But if they ever ask about me, tell them I was more than just a great set of boobs.   I was also an incredible pair of legs. And tell them tell them that I never turned out a friend, that I never turned out a stranger for that matter. And tell them tell them that when all is said and done, I only ask the people remember me by 2 simple words. Any twos, long as they’re simple. 

Todd:  All the kids start standing up and walk towards her, like, oh, that’s okay, Elvira. Don’t worry. We’ll come to your show. So she just springs right up. Great, see you then, and walks out. 

Craig:  Oh, Todd. It is such a funny scene. I just absolutely love it. 

Todd:  But, so the kids confer really quickly, about what they’re going to do, and you see Patty, the owner of the bowling alley, the the woman we were talking about earlier, peeks her head, over from the kitchen is overhearing them a little bit. They notice her overhearing them, so they skedaddle, and the camera zooms in on Patty. And we now know that Patty also knows about this plan, and, is probably going to interfere with it somehow. So the next bit is a whole montage of all the kids sneaking out and, coming to the the theater. And the meantime, Elvira is setting things up in the theater, and, they’ve really gone all out. It’s kind of silly because because she she’s planned this huge production number. Bob comes to her and is like, what’s that up there? And she says, oh, haven’t you seen this? It’s gonna be my great finale. I still I ripped this off.   I mean, I it’s inspired by Flashdance. And when I’m done dancing, I’m gonna sit on this chair, and I’m gonna pull this cord, and this huge bucket of glitter is gonna come down on me. And so she set these, this bucket of glitter is set up in the, the the grid up above. So sure enough, there’s there’s they’re playing this movie. It’s this horrible b movie, but the theater is packed full of kids who are really enjoying it, who I guess stole enough money along the way too that they could pay for entrance. I I you know, it’s it’s a little tenuous how this little midnight movie 

Craig:  Yeah. That 

Todd:  only the kids from town are is going to help pay for her for 50 grand, but who who cares? So at the end of the movie that she goes through this like flash dance type dance number. And it’s funny too because she’s doing these back flips and she’s doing this spinning and she’s doing all this dancing. And at the end, she pulls the Todd, and instead online that, it wasn’t actually tar that they filmed with. It was black paint. Online that, it wasn’t actually tar that they filmed with. It was black paint. And they only shot the scene once because it was such a pain to get the paint, out of her costume and out of her hair. And Patty is up at the top shaking out feathers then over her.   So she gets tarred and feathered at the show and and humiliated. Todd, the next scene is of her cursing and swearing, but not really cursing, but basically cursing out Patty and the rest of the town as she’s bathing in gasoline. Right. It’s a star offer. And they a couple of the kids, are out and along with Bob, sitting down in the sofa watching TV in the other room while they’re awkwardly listening to her going off on the whole town. And she comes out. Bob’s like, what is that perfume you’re wearing? She’s like, super unleaded. Don’t smoke.   And they sit down and watch television, and after a while, she suggests that Robin and the other boy maybe have some other place to be, and they’re like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We’ll we’ll get out we’ll get out of here. And so, she and, the boy disappear leaving Elvira and Bob there alone, on the sofa, watching these movies. And the next shot is of what used to happen, when networks would shut down for the day before they were 24 hours is the Todd Spangled Banner playing, and the television quitting. And you see Elvira and Bob, and instead of sitting next to each other, they are totally opposite ends the sofa. And Bob’s just kind of looking over awkwardly, and Elvira’s looking over in a very sultry way.   And Bob’s like, again, in this situation where he has no idea what to do. He’s clearly never been with a woman romantically, and has no idea how to proceed. So she starts itching closer and closer and closer to him. And finally, he gets so uncomfortable that he says, you know what? I’m hungry. Let’s go get something to eat. And she says, well, no. We don’t need to go out and get anything to eat. My aunt Morgatta has this cookbook, which she immediately discovers because as she’s inching closer to him on the sofa, she, she sits on on it in a certain way and goes, ow, what is this? And pulls it out from the cushions.   So she’s now discovered the cookbook again, and she decides to whip something up in the kitchen. And this is the best scene in the whole movie as far as I’m concerned. 

Craig:  Oh, it’s hilarious. She goes in, and she’s like, my aunt had terrible penmanship. Like, I can’t read any of this. It seems like it’s in a different language. 

Clip:  Hey. Wait. Look at this. Andraca Kosarole. Kosarole. Oh, casserole. That sounds good. Okay.   Let’s see. What does it say here? 1edraziba. Wonder where she keeps edraziba around here. 

Craig:  But she looks in the kitchen cabinets, and it’s obvious that this is, like, you know, the witch’s ingredients for her potions or whatnot, but, of course, she doesn’t edraziba are actually earthworms, and she puts one in, and she’s like, oh, what the heck? She just dumps them all in. Then she just dumps in all of these ingredients, and she’s boiling in this pot this thing that just looks like it just looks awful. This is absolutely awful. And she takes it out to serve to Bob, and they’re both sitting at the table. And when she opens it up, this monster jumps out of the pot, and it’s all slimy and gross. It’s kind of reptilian. I mean, it’s obviously like a puppet, but I think it looks great. I mean, it’s super fun, super slimy, and, you know, they’re kind of freaking out.   It it’s just such a funny scene. She’s bashing it in the head with the lid, trying to get back in the pot. Bob is just standing there with his fork just, like, poking at it. Like like like, he doesn’t know what else to do. But they get it back in the pot, and they take it in the, kitchen and put it down the, garbage disposal. And, and he’s like, where did you learn to cook? And I didn’t. I just made a recipe out of my aunt’s recipe book. At which point, Gonk grabs the recipe book and and runs it upstairs, to the attic, and they figure out that Gonk is trying to show them this, like, crate or or or trunk, chest.   And they open it, and they find all of Morgana’s stuff, like witchy stuff. And they also find a letter that on the envelope, it says Elvira. And Elvira says, you think it’s for me? And so they so they read the letter, and that’s where we get the backstory. The letter says, your mother, Davona, was the true mistress of the dark. She had all of this power, but, her uncle Vincent was always jealous and wanted to have her power. And eventually, I guess, Vincent got to her and she wasn’t able to protect herself, but, but the baby got away and, was taken, I guess, to an orphanage or something. And it says in the letter, remember, protect the book, but remember you carry the power with you. But at least now she knows why, Vincent wants the book.   She knows that she shouldn’t let him have it, and she’s got kind of some ammunition now against this morality, committee. And this this next scene was what I thought was one of the funniest scenes in the whole movie. 

Todd:  Oh, man. This scene, like, bounces between funny and kind of disgusting for me. Yeah. But, of course, it’s 

Craig:  I remember thinking how hilarious it was when I was a kid, and then watching it this time, I’m like, oh, that’s gross. 

Todd:  That’s right. This was the Anyway. That my friends and I would quote a lot by the way. With the she there’s of course the morality club picnic is, the next day and Elvira has made a casserole. So she sneaks her casserole onto the table. And what she’s clearly done is she’s try she’s tried to make the same thing that she made before that that, produced the monster. So all the all the people are going through the table, and Chastity Pariah is leading them up. And And another thing I just noticed this first time that I hadn’t caught the, you know, before was that all the kids rushed to the table first, and Chastity Pariah is like, no, don’t you? You guys are you guys are pigs.   You get to the end of the line. So it’s interesting how the movie kind of shows that the kids never get any of this stuff. Right. Again, totally went over my head before. But, as as they’re going through, Chastity’s remarking on all the dishes. And one of the things she see see see’s is and she turns to her, friend next to her, she is 

Clip:  Melody, I see you’ve made your famous Tic Tac pie. 

Todd:  And it’s just pie with just a bunch of Tic Tacs on it. I’m sorry to 

Craig:  It is hilarious. It’s so stupid. Oh, and so 

Todd:  funny. Anyway, when they get to the, the casserole dish, Elvira and Bob are in the bushes. She’s like, alright. This is the moment. This is the moment. I can’t wait to see him get it. She opened the lid and nothing happens. It’s just the casserole.   So Chaz, she’s like, what’s this? And just like, digs her finger right through the middle of the casserole. 

Craig:  I know it’s so gross. 

Todd:  It’s so disgusting. And she licks it. It’s like, that’s pretty good. I think I’m gonna have some. And she piles a whole bunch on her plate. Everybody else comes through the line, and they’re piling a whole bunch of this on their plate until it’s gone, presumably before the kids get to it. Right. And and then, they’re sitting down and Chastity is like, whoo whoo, I’m feeling feel a little hot right here.   And and she turns, how about you? And it turns out that this is is the love potion that Elvira’s like, man, I maybe I shouldn’t have substituted at the at edrazeba with Hamburger Helper. And suddenly, everybody’s just, like, they’re starting to, like, take their clothes off, and all these old people are making suggestive looks at each other. The real estate agent picks up a hot Todd and looks at Patty across the table and waves and says, remind you of anything? And she picks up a taco shell and goes, remind you of anything? And they put the hotdog in the taco shell and she bites on it. I mean, it’s so goofball. 

Craig:  Oh, it’s hilarious. And and they all start taking off their clothes, and they’re dancing it with one another and grinding on one another. One of the old women is like eating mustard off the old man’s ear. It’s just all these totally gross things. At one point, Chastity, there’s this old man laying down on the ground and she, like, gets this happy look on her face and then she goes and stands. She’s she’s wearing a dress and she straddles over his head. And I don’t think I noticed this when I was a kid. She lifts her, her skirt up and says, is this face taken? And sits on his face.   Oh, god. And, of course, you don’t see it in all that graphic. You know, I mean, it’s it’s PG 13. It’s it’s totally safe, but, it’s hilarious. Patty puts the moves on Bob, and and she and Elvira kinda get into it. There’s a funny line where Patty says, do you always wear the same dress? And Elvira says, no. Sometimes I like to wear something low cut and sleazy or something like that. But, Patty tries to to fight with her, and Elvira grabs her by the front of her sweater and punches her out.   And then her sweater rips off to reveal the fact that her great big boobs are in fact just falsies, and she’s actually totally false, flat chested. And that’s pretty much the end of it. We cut immediately then to, the morality council who is just outraged that all this has happened, and they’re all pointing fingers at one another, until Vincent comes in and says, you have to know that this was all Elvira’s doing. And of course, Chastity’s like, of course it is. I knew she was trouble from the beginning. And Vincent says, well, there is something we can do. And he throws down this law book, And he says, there’s this law on the books from back, from the Salem trials that says, a person can be charged and arrested for witchcraft. And so that’s what they do.   They they arrest her and put her in jail, and they’re gonna burn her at the stake. They are they’re building these big pyres right outside the courthouse, which she can see from her jail cell. And, Gonk is in the, cell with her and Gonk is whining. She’s like, Todd are you worried about? I’m the one that’s gonna get burnt up. And he winds again and she looks outside and sees that there’s a little pyre for the dog too. And she’s like, oh, sorry. But then, Bob comes and visits her, and she’s like, you’ve gotta get the book. And she tells him where it is at her house, and he goes off.   Gonk turns into a rat, and he’s a little punk rat just like the dog’s little punk dog, and he escapes and and heads, to her house too. When Bob gets to the house, he finds the book, but Vincent and his goons are there waiting for him. They knock him out. They get the book. And then, the kids, the young kids are trying to break Elvira out, but it doesn’t work. They they try to cut through the ceiling, but they end up cutting into the cell next door and they all fall. So they’re all in jail now. And it looks like Elvira is gonna be, burned at the stake.   They take her out, and they tie her up to the pole. 

Todd:  And Chastity Pariah comes over with, or no. The policeman, somebody comes over with a big, Yeah. Big torch, and is about to light the fire. He says something like, Elvira, you are official you are hereby charged with witchcraft. Do you have any final words? She says, yes. Help. And, then Patty comes up and runs up to him and grabs the the flaming torch and said, officer officer, this is wrong. We’re like, what? And she says, it’ll burn faster if you light it in several places here.   And so she lights the the flyer on, lights it, on fire. 

Craig:  Gonk goes and freeze Bob, and then they come back and Gonk is there, and Gonk is barking at her and she looks like, oh, the dog’s trying to sell me something, which triggers this memory of when she read the letter, it said you carry the power with you. And we see something from that same flashback that we hadn’t seen before. We see little baby Elvira in a bassinet, ruby or garnet ring, this big red stone, and she’s holding this ruby or garnet ring, this big red stone. And she realizes, oh, I’ve had this my whole life. This must be the power that I carry with me. So she gets her hands free and she raises her fist to the sky and lightning shoots out of the ring and causes this big thunderstorm which makes it rain and puts the fire out. So she’s out of that predicament. But Vincent But it, you know, it’s it’s like yeah.   It’s out of the frying pan into the fire. 

Todd:  Yeah. Vincent has gotten the book, and now he is increasingly turning into this pretty, monstrous looking warlock. And you can just tell his face is getting a little bonier, and his hair is getting a little scragglier. And he’s wearing Got 

Craig:  his fangs. 

Todd:  Yeah. And he’s wearing his robe, and he’s walking down the street just basically taking everything out on the town. And so they’re all running basically from the site of where they were burning Elvira at the stake, and so there’s mass chaos in the town. And as he runs across people, like, he he aims his, his his fingers at Chassis Price and her friends, and they turn into pigs. And, he goes around. He’s shooting lightning back and forth and everywhere, but he’s, of course, trying to get to Elvira. And so there’s this chase scene, basically, where, he’s running after Elvira. Elvira, and he finally he corners her in a cemetery, and she runs and trips, and she falls, and he’s coming over her, and he she grabs her one of her heels, which she’s been running in this whole time for her.   She yanks off her high heels and throws it at him, and the heel embeds in his forehead. He’s like, which my wife found hysterically funny. 

Craig:  Yeah. Very funny. 

Todd:  So she gets away, and of course the way she gets out of this locked graveyard, which is where the front, door of it is chained, is she uses her boobs to break the chains. Yeah. Runs down the street, he gets out Todd, he comes around the corner, and suddenly faces her, and you see this slow pan up from below to up. And Elvira has come out of the military surplus store with, like, a bazooka or something. 

Clip:  You looking for me? 

Todd:  Big puff of smoke which clears away and hasn’t done a bit of damage to the uncle. And he says, Right. Did you think that that would work against me? She says, no, but I figured it’d be worth a shot, and tosses it down and runs away some more. Eventually, he’s got her cornered in an alley. There’s nowhere for her to go, and they have kind of a dueling battle where he’s using his power, and she is using her ring to deflect it until, she says, Take this. And she extends her hand like she’s going to use the power of a ring at him, but the ring flies off her finger through the air, and ends up on the uncle’s finger. He says, why thank you very much. 

Craig:  Right. But eventually, they end up back, at the house, at at, her aunt’s house. And she’s, walking through the house. She doesn’t know where he is or if he’s there, and he punches through a wall and grabs her and is pulling her towards the wall. But the shaking of the wall causes this big battle axe that’s hanging on the wall to fall and it cuts his arm off. So she’s able to get away a little bit, but he comes around the corner and he’s shooting fire out of his hands. The house is on fire. It looks like she’s met her match.   She’s on the floor. He is looking more demonic than ever. The eclipse has happened, and he’s got the book, so we know he’s got all this power. But in classic horror movie form, the hand that has been severed is not Todd, and it’s crawling towards Elvira, and eventually grabs her, which startles her. She grabs a Todd of it, gets something like a letter opener or something, pins it down to the ground, gets the ring back, and then when he goes to deliver what is supposed to be, I assume, the, fatal blow with his magic, she uses the ring to deflect it, and it goes back on him, and he is destroyed and just goes up through the ceiling in this, like, burst of misty energy. And so she’s she’s won. She still has her ring, but the house is on fire and the fire is burning all around the book. She tries to get to it, but she can’t.   And so we cut then to the next day where it’s Elvira and Bob sitting on the porch of the burned out house. 

Clip:  So what did the insurance guy say?   My policy doesn’t cover acts of demons.   Well, at least you still got the ring.   Yeah. But the only thing I can get it to do anymore is look cheap. 

Craig:  And then here comes the whole 

Clip:  town 

Craig:  marching down the street towards them with shovels and axes and all kinds of other things. And she says, oh, great. Here comes the lynch mob. But when they show up, they surprise her by telling her that they are there to help. She saved the town. They’re so grateful for that, and they’re she’s welcome there, they wanna do anything they can to help. Patty apologizes to her, and the lawyer shows up and tells her that because she was Vincent’s last remaining heir, she’s going to inherit his estate, which is extensive. So then she gets to live her Las Vegas dream, and that’s the last scene we see in the movie is this big, I wouldn’t say big, it’s actually pretty tame for a Vegas number.   They are, in fact, the studio didn’t even wanna spend the money to do this number. It was in the original shooting script and and Cassandra or Elvira wanted to do it so so badly. But they took it out of the shooting script because of budget and they waited until the rest of the movie had been filmed and edited and then, they screened it for the producers and the producers liked the movie enough that they felt like it was worth spending the little bit of extra money to let her have this last number. And so they did and they filmed it, in a warehouse. And it’s this campy Vegas number with Elvira dancing and singing in her sexy costume and there’s scantily clad men dressed as devils dancing all around her, and it’s just so much fun. I’m so glad that they put it in. It’s it’s an excellent cap, for the movie, and she just does her thing. And at the very end, it, it it pans close up on her face, and she looks directly into the camera and says her catchphrase. 

Clip:  Unpleasant dream. 

Craig:  And that’s it. That’s the end of the movie. And I just am elated. You know, by the You get to the end of the movie and I just have a smile on my face from ear to ear. It’s so much fun. It’s silly. You don’t have to put any thought into it whatsoever. If you’ve seen the movie before, you could pick it up at any spot in the movie and just watch whatever part and you’re gonna get laughs.   You’re gonna it’s it’s just so much fun. And especially at this time of the year, I love all horror movies, but they’re, you know, I’ve been watching sci fi network, you know, all day every day, on the weekends, since October started. And and I’ve seen lots of good movies, but so many of them are really gory or really, you know, they’re serious, in some way. And this is just light and fun, and it’s a nice break from that. I feel like it’s something that you could watch with your kids pretty safely. There’s a lot of innuendo, which is why I think that it gets, the PG 13 rating. But there’s really not a lot of overtly bad language. It is innuendo, and it’s stuff that I really think would go over the heads of younger kids.   I would show this. You know, my my niece and nephew are 57, I believe. I’d watch it with them. You know, especially if you could find the TV edit, which you can find because they do show it on, network television, or they used to when I was a kid. So there is edited version, of it out there. I think it’s something that you could watch, you know, at a party with friends. It’s something that you could watch with your kids or your nieces and nephews or whoever. And and it’s just it’s just a blast, and I I can’t wait to watch it again. 

Todd:  No. I couldn’t agree with you more. I I all I I would love to, hear, what it’s like to show this to a person who who didn’t grow up with it, who hadn’t seen it. Because, I mean, as much as we are gushing over it right now, and as much as I agree with you a 100%, I do wonder I mean, the movie is the kind of movie that they don’t really make so much now. The comedy in it is That’s true. Is very goofball. It’s very cheesy in many moments. The one liners are silly.   And it’s not what I’m trying to say is it’s not very sophisticated, 

Craig:  but and it’s also Absolutely. 

Todd:  It’s also not super lewd and crude like people tend to like to. You know, it’s not like The Hangover type stuff either. So it kind of falls into this this period of time where comedy could be goofball and silly and and innocent, At the same time, have a sort of innocence about it. I did not do well in the theaters. In fact, even right now, I think if you go on Rotten Tomatoes, it’s maybe like 5050. I think audiences liked it a lot more than the critics did, but it still didn’t make a ton of money. And I think it was Right. It was a little sad for, Cassandra Peterson because she really wanted to do a sequel.   She was fighting Mhmm. For a long time to do a sequel for this movie. And, people just weren’t that interested, oddly enough. I don’t know why. At one time, even Roger Corman, she she was gonna do one called Elvira versus the Vampire Women with him, and I don’t know how far along into preproduction that was, or how far if they even had a script for it, but that kind of fell flat. Eventually, in the early 2000, she did do a film called Elvira’s Haunted Hills. I’ve seen it. I have it on DVD.   I thought it was a solid movie. It’s not at all like this one, and it just kind of fell through the cracks way more than this movie ever did. 

Craig:  I’ve seen it too, and and I remember being really excited about it. And I remember being kind of disappointed, not because I didn’t enjoy it, but just because I didn’t really and again, I think you’re right. I think that our fondness of it from childhood really colors our feelings about it today. And if even if I were to see it for the first time today, I don’t know how. I have no idea how I would respond to it, and and maybe that was my problem with Haunted Hills. You know, I was older when I saw it, and I I just didn’t think that it was as funny. Maybe it is, and it’s just that I I didn’t have that nostalgia for it. Yeah, it it is kind of unfortunate for her because she wanted it so badly and had to wait for so long and eventually she had to fund it herself she she she put in the funding to have the movie made, and it it didn’t do very well, which I don’t think is very surprising.   But, if you like this movie, certainly worth checking out if if for no other reason than to, to support. Ira. 

Todd:  Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Now there was even that reality show, Look The Search for the Next Delvira. Did you ever watch that? 

Craig:  No. I don’t even think I knew about that. 

Todd:  I saw a couple episodes of it, and I was, like, really? This it doesn’t work without her, you know? And I think No. As it turns out, even the show itself was kind of a not not really a sham. But it’s not like the person was going to be the next Elvira. But they were going Todd kind of like represent her at events, or or just kind of do certain things. You know, it was really kind of a silly idea in the first place. So, you know, she’s still in the public consciousness, especially around Halloween. I think you still see Elvira quite, Maybe not as much as you used to, but she’s still very popular with people like us. She’s doing a lot of things right now.   She’s at Knott’s Berry Farm doing, doing a stage show. And if you go online, you can see clips from that. She’s been doing this for years, actually. So you can see her in person pretty easily if you live out in California. And I you know, it’s cut one of my life goals is to be able to meet her in person someday, and I don’t know if that’ll ever happen, before she, you know, finally retires. But I sure hope it does because I have so many fond memories of her. I I love her. I love the character, and so much of that is almost exclusively stems from this film. 

Craig:  Absolutely. I am I’m in the exact same boat. I’m a huge fan, a huge, huge fan. It would be an honor and a privilege, to meet her. I doubt I’ll ever have the opportunity, but it’s certainly a bucket list kinda thing. 

Todd:  Well, thank you so much for listening to another episode. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend. You could find us on iTunes and on Stitcher. You can also find us on social media. We have a Facebook page, where we are very happy to receive your film request, anything you want us to do, or any comments that you have about the films that you’ve done so far, please start a dialogue with us there. We do enjoy hearing your feedback. Until next time. I’m Todd 

Craig:  And I’m Craig. 

Todd:  With 2 Guys and a Chainsaw.

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