They Will Kill You (2026)

Episode 501, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd. 

Craig: And I’m Craig. 

Todd: This week we are doing a brand new movie, 2026, They Will Kill You. Was this a Netflix one or was this a Shudder one? Yep, it’s an Amazon one. So yeah, this one, uh, was filmed in Cape Town, South Africa. I thought that was interesting. And just came out in March of this year, so it’s pretty fresh.

You, uh, picked this one. I had never even heard of it, ’cause I’m really not up on the new stuff. So, uh, let me know what, what, what were your thoughts, uh, going in? Had you seen this before? 

Craig: No, but I had seen the trailer for it in the theater. I see so few movies in the theater anymore, but honestly, I don’t even remember what movie I was seeing.

But I remember seeing this trailer and I thought that it looked cool for a big horror movie. But the big draw for me was Patricia Arquette. 

Yeah. 

Craig: I’m just a big fan of hers. I, I always have been. She’s always been cool. I don’t know how old she is, but I feel like we kind of grew up with her. I think she’s probably a little bit older than we are, but- 

Todd: Yeah

Craig: but she was always just kind of that cool chick in movies, but also in life. Like- She’s kind of the epitome of like I don’t give a fuck. Like she just does whatever she wants to do and she just is who she is and she’s a cool person and I like her. So I was drawn to that and then it’s been kind of a low-key summer for me ’cause I’ve been recuperating from a relatively minor surgery but I’ve been spending a lot of time at home and watching a lot of movies and this popped up on Amazon and I remembered having seen the trailer and so I watched it.

And when I was watching it, there were just moments where something would happen and it’s, it’s more than something would happen. It’s like the dynamic would change. I would just get a huge smile on my face- Uh-huh … either out of amusement or, “Oh, Todd’s gonna like this.” 

Like 

Craig: And, and thinking about you specifically but anybody who’s kind of into horror and the kind of things

I, I don’t know. I thought that this would appeal specifically to your sensibilities but I, I think that it, it could be broadly appreciated as well. 

Todd: It very much does and honestly not really as a horror movie. I just kept thinking of Quentin Tarantino through the whole thing. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: It just smells like something he would do.

It’s wild, it’s over the top. It’s very much a throwback to ’70s era Asian cinema in many ways. There’s lots of martial arts style action in here. There’s over the top violence but it’s very stylized in the way that he tends to stylize it. I would say him, a bit of Sam Raimi sometimes. 

Yeah. 

Todd: A little bit of Robert Rodriguez, you know, as well.

All three of those guys clearly inspired this director, Kirill Sokolov, a Russian director who did a couple things before this. Nothing I’ve seen but some things I’d kinda like to see after seeing this. He did a m- a movie called Why Don’t You Just Die, which looks again like a very Tarantino-esque type film.

It’s billed on, uh, IMDb as a dark comedy farce slapstick drama thriller. Which this kinda is too I would say. 

Yeah. 

Todd: Yeah, d- I mean this is definitely a horror movie because there’s elements of the supernatural in here and of course there’s a lot of killing and, and things like that but- I mean, it’s also heavy on action, and it moves, and moves, and moves, and it’s snarky, and it’s jokey, and like I said earlier, very stylized in its presentation, in its cinematography, in the colors, and the, the vibe of the ca- you know, the vibe is just generally so easy to pinpoint that, I mean, I think a lot of people might consider this to be maybe even almost a little too derivative.

I have to admit, I did get a little bored about halfway through, because once you kinda know what’s happening and what’s going on, there aren’t too many surprises left for you, and it’s just becomes one of those action-y things where this one person’s gotta battle her way out of a bad situation against people who are very hard to kill.

And for me, that gets a little old after a while. I do kind of… I was hoping for more twists and turn- and there are a couple, but yeah, I was just kinda hoping for a little more story, I would say, than I ended up getting out of it. But it was, uh, really fun to watch, and so, uh, I’m really excited to talk about it today.

Craig: Yeah, on all of those points that you mentioned, the cinematography, and the vibe, and the colors, and, and all of that stuff, I felt like it was executed so well. I mean, I- I’m probably gonna really hype this movie up, and, and I mean to, ’cause I really enjoyed it. I thought it was super fun to watch. I think it would be super fun to watch with other people, especially the action sequences.

There’s a lot of like, oh, moments. Like- Yeah … like, it’s, it’s a fun movie. I think it would be a fun movie to react to with other people and to see other people’s reactions to it. ‘Cause all the things you’ve said, it… I immediately thought of Tarantino as well, but I also thought, well, the reason I think of Tarantino is because I’m not really well-versed in the cinema that he was inspired by.

Mm. I’m sure that this filmmaker was inspired by Tarantino, but potentially, you know, a lot of the conventions, especially the martial arts and stuff, are stuff that Tarantino was inspired by, by like you said, those films in the ’70s and whatnot. 

Right. 

Craig: Um, but I just thought on, despite it potentially not being perfect, I thought it kinda nailed it.

The, the, the place where I will disagree with you is I didn’t get bored, and I was with you right up to… Okay, so you were saying, you know, once it becomes somebody just kind of walking through these action pieces, a- and you didn’t say it exactly like that. 

Todd: That’s it. Yeah, that’s what I meant more or less.

Craig: It, it gets a little repetitive or boring. And then you said- Something like unless it’s really good or something. And, and I thought that these were. I, I, I concur with you and I feel like we’ve watched movies where eventually if it’s just the same action over and over again, it can… You start looking at your watch.

But I was genuinely engaged in these because of the combination of all of those things. Like, I’m thinking, I don’t know, there’s a bunch of big ones. One in particular, which probably would be around the point in the movie where I would imagine you would’ve started getting bored because we’ve already seen some big action pieces at this point.

But there’s a scene in a dark, like, cafeteria that ultimately- 

Todd: Oh, yeah … 

Craig: ends up being like a fight scene that we’ve seen except for the, it’s shot entirely differently because it’s almost exclusively in the dark, and the director and the cinematographer and the designers do so much with the way that the space is lit.

Todd: Yeah. With the fire. 

Craig: Yeah. And that engages me Enough that I’m not… I don’t know. I mean, fighting is fighting ultimately, but I, I felt like it made it, i- each scene was different enough that I was still engaged. 

Todd: You know me so well because that was indeed the moment when I started to get bored, and the fire bit did make me double-take a bit.

I was like, “Okay, there’s fire.” And then, and then I was like, “Oh, oh, it’s, it, there’s nothing but fi- Oh, it’s…” Yeah, she lights her ax on f- She’s got a weapon. It’s an ax, I think. She lights it on fire and, and I was like, “Okay, yeah. All right, whatever.” And then it happens in, like you said, a dark cafeteria, and after it started going on for a little bit, I was like, “Oh, this is really interesting,” and that brought me back into it for a spell.

But you’re right. That was about, I don’t know if it was halfway through or what, but that was about the time when I started to kinda drift off into other thoughts and things, but, but that, that scene was interesting enough that it brought me back, and apparently quite difficult to shoot because they were…

Most of this movie is practical effects, and I really admire that too. That’s something I really liked about it. There are obviously some things that could only be done with CGI, but there’s so much that’s just obviously practical effects, and practical effects done well, that I really had to give a tip of my hat to the good old Kirill, the director, because, um, he clearly has a soft spot in his heart for that kind of thing, and it showed, and I really appreciate that always when I see it on screen in a modern movie.

Mm-hmm. 

Todd: So, and, and what do you know about these actors? ‘Cause, um, I, I assumed as I’m watching this, ’cause again, I’m so I’m so behind on life. I assumed as I’m watching this that I should probably know this Zazie Beetz, this woman who was a top build in this, who, who’s our main character. 

Craig: Yeah, I don’t know anything about her, and I, I didn’t really look her up because she wasn’t familiar to me, but she carries this whole movie and is great.

Yeah. 

Craig: She’s absolutely fantastic, and, uh, j- reading stuff, uh, she just gets the highest praise from the director and, you know, her co-stars. Everybody was just blown away by her stamina. I mean, I guess that this was You know, really, a- a- and I can imagine, you can see it on screen, it looks like a really intense shoot.

Todd: Oh, yeah. 

Craig: And she’s in every scene, I think. She, I mean, she carries the whole movie on her back. Without… I- if her performance had sucked- 

Todd: Oh, yeah … 

Craig: the, the, the, the movie would be terrible. But she’s, she’s good and she’s endearing and, and she’s a good hero. She’s tough. I mean, you look at the poster or the box art or whatever, and she’s like this badass chick who she’s got blood on her face, she’s holding up a sword in front of her face.

So you kinda get an idea. 

Uh-huh. 

Craig: Kind of, I guess. And, you know, all of the presumably bad guys are reflected in the machete or sword or whatever that she’s got. So you kinda get an idea of what kind of movie you’re getting, and she’s great at all of that. And there’s huge fight pieces, which we’ll get more specific about in a second, but she’s good at all of that.

But then also there’s, there’s a family drama, which I kind of don’t care about. Yeah. Me 

Todd: neither. 

Craig: Not because it’s not well done. She’s good at it. Like, I buy her as an actual character. She’s not just a video game protagonist. She’s got a little bit more to her. But, yeah, the whole family drama, uh, which is a good place to set it up.

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Right? 

Todd: Yeah, yeah, let’s… Because that’s where it starts off, was this, uh, these two sisters, right? 

Craig: Right, these two sisters. We meet them when they’re younger, I guess the older one, and I- I… Is her name Asia? 

Todd: Yeah, Asia. 

Craig: Okay. 

Todd: What a great name for a girl. I love that name. 

Craig: Yeah, it is a beautiful name. And she’s got a younger sister, Maria.

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: We don’t know who they are yet. We’re just following them, and they’re walking through the rain, and they go into this convenience store, and they kinda seem to be on their own, like they’re picking up some food or whatever. But then this big tattooed, hairy, scary man comes in and is looking for them, and it turns out it’s their dad.

Is it their dad or their stepdad? I don’t remember. 

Todd: I’m pretty sure it’s their father, yeah. 

Craig: But he’s looking for them, and they try to run away, and they run outside. And again, it’s all in the rain. It’s shot beautifully. But they kind of get caught, and it culminates, and she… Did she have a gun? 

Todd: I can’t remember how she got the gun.

Feel like she got it off of somebody, but God knows if I n- if I, if I remember how. I 

Craig: don’t remember, but she has one, and she points it at him, and it’s kind of a standoff, and he’s basically taunting her like, “You won’t do it.” 

Clip: You stupid little bitch What you gonna do, shoot your own father? 

Todd: You’ll never touch her again.

Craig: But she does do it. She shoots him, but then the police arrive and presumably she’s a teenager. She freaks out, and she runs away, leaving her little sister behind. 

Todd: Yeah, she makes a comment. You know, there’s a little bit of chatter before the guy shows up, so we know that this is her dad. But she had made a comment about something like, you know, they’re clearly, they’re running away from him, and that she says something like, “And I won’t ever let him touch you again,” to Maria.

So you get the idea that they’re running from their abusive dad. And since you already said it, I didn’t care about this either. I just didn’t know enough. I hadn’t had enough time with them. I don’t know what it is, but this wasn’t enough for me to set up a high-stakes predicament where I cared so much for these characters and what they went through that I’m so excited to go through this journey with them, and I really wanna see them see through their personal issues.

Ultimately, I feel like their personal issues kinda get sidelined by the greater issue that they end up in. But, you know, I, I mean, I guess they’re sisters, so they’re bonded. That’s fine. It, you just kinda have to take that at face value because we don’t really get enough of a setup and enough characterization, I would say, for these two people- 

Right

Todd: to really, like, in my opinion, at least for me watching this, care too much about, like, “Oh, man, I hope she finds her sister,” you know? That kinda thing, like- Yeah … hope she can save her sister. Like, ugh, even when they got together and they were talking and things, I just felt nothing. 

Craig: Yeah. I mean, it’s secondary.

I don’t… It, it motivates the plot because then we jump, what? Like 10 years later or something like that, and it, it comes to the outside of this building, which the, the whole rest of the movie once we get in there is shot in this big building. Uh, you said it was shot in South Africa, I think. 

Todd: It was, and yeah, there’s, there’s a lot of interesting stuff about this building.

Um, that I think there were a few different buildings they used on IMDb, like some exterior stuff, some interior whatever. But- Yeah, it’s just a building. It’s supposed to be New York City, but- 

Craig: Yeah, and, and it’s, it’s called The Virgil, and I didn’t even notice this the first time I watched it. Mm-hmm. But like, the, the, the camera pans down and there’s a big pentagram window in the top and then- Yeah

like, there’s all kinds of, uh, like- Like reliefs on the wall … satanic… Y- yeah. 

Todd: It’s like- 

Craig: Satanic imagery, like demons with horns and stuff. 

Todd: This is so hilarious because this is a high-rise in New York City, quite prominent, and it’s got all this crazy-ass satanic stuff over it. W- I mean, this would be the most notorious building in town.

It wouldn’t be under the radar at all. I think about Ghostbusters, and one thing I really like about Ghostbusters is it takes place in New York City with that high-rise that has that cool top on it, but it also, like a lot of buildings back then, kinda had these cool like art deco or tops on them with gargoyles and kinda weird things.

Uh-huh. 

Todd: So you don’t really think anything of it, but then it turns out that this building was built for this specific purpose, and that all kinda gets revealed as they go up and things are opening. And like, I love that about Ghostbusters. After I watched that movie, I would walk around cities and look up at these old buildings and imagine that they were temples to some ancient god or something, and secretly, you know?

Funny. But this building is clearly a temple to a a temple to Satan from the bottom to the top, not even disguised. 

Craig: Yeah, and I mean, it’s… When she goes in, okay, so I guess if you’re paying close attention, you might realize it’s the same actress, the sister, I believe. Anyway, she’s posing as somebody else to get to take this job as a maid in this building, and Patricia Arquette, her name is Lily in the movie.

I don’t remember. She’s got some sort of Irish last name. 

Todd: Woodhouse. 

Craig: Uh, W- Lily Woodhouse And she, I don’t know, she’s like the house mother of this apartment building or something- Yeah … it seems like. 

Todd: I… 

Craig: Which is fine, but she kind of- 

Todd: The minute they step in- … it’s like Eyes Wide Shut. You’re like, oh, these are like fancy rich people doing really shady shit in here, you know?

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: Immediately. 

Craig: Well, and like the, the doors bolt all crazy and, and she says, “Oh, you know, the, the bolted doors are a remnant from the past,” ’cause this used to be a really bad neighborhood. Like- There was… It was just, just trash on the street all the time. But then gentrification, and now it’s like one of the most…

It’s, it’s the most exclusive building in Manhattan. She’s like, “Our residents are the most exclusive of society,” or whatever. And she starts in- she introduces her to a few of them, and one of them is Heather Graham, who- 

Todd: Yes. 

Craig: It’s not like I think Heather Graham is some sort of amazing actress, but I’m still a huge fan of hers.

Oh, God. She’s fun, and I’ve, I’ve been a fan of hers since I was a kid, since, uh, License to Drive. She was like 17. 

Todd: I had such a crush on her when I was in high school. 

Craig: Everybody did. Yeah. What’s not to like? She’s gorgeous, she’s cute, she’s funny. 

Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah, she’s great. I love her, and I love seeing her in things, and I love seeing her in this.

She’s fun. But like you said, they all look very wealthy and beautiful and, you know, o- of various ages. There’s different generations. There’s older people and, and younger people. But yeah, I mean, you get that vibe right away, and everything, like, everything is so stylized, the architecture, the interior design.

And it’s beautiful to look- And it’s, it’s, it’s shot well. Everything’s framed well. Everything, you know, is planned in terms of color and I think it’s, it’s pretty beautiful to watch. 

Todd: But it’s like so much we’ve seen before. 

Craig: That’s true. Yeah. 

Todd: But it is beautiful. Yeah, you’re right. I mean, it’s giving that vibe.

It doesn’t have to explain much, ’cause we’ve already seen this movie. Okay, she’s in trouble. We know she’s in trouble from the very beginning. This woman is just flat out explaining to us the wealthy elite and- 

Craig: Right … 

Todd: you know, this is an exclusive club. We’re like, “All right. We know where this is going.

There’s gonna be some weird stuff happening here.” Yeah. 

Craig: And, and you definitely get, like, Rosemary’s Baby vibes, which, you know, the, the director has said he was inspired by, so, uh, eh- And again, there are other, like, cult movies like that. You totally get the vibe. I was also maybe getting, you know, you see all that devil stuff or whatever, so cult comes to mind, but just the vibe of it was also kind of giving me vampire- 

Todd: Oh, yeah

Craig: for whatever reason. 

Todd: For a minute, I thought this was a vampire coven, you know, and I, I wasn’t that far off, honestly. And I have to admit- 

Craig: Really, right … 

Todd: I think this is what contributed to my boredom. I, and I, uh, I don’t know, I guess I applaud the movie for getting to it quickly. 

Craig: Mm-hmm. 

Todd: That much is great. I mean, within, like I said, within this first 10 minutes, you know exactly…

You don’t know exactly what’s going on, but you have a pretty good idea it could be one of about a half a dozen things- Right … that we’ve seen before. And at that point, I was just like, “Okay, please let this movie be different. Please let this be- unique enough, fast enough, ’cause I have seen so much of this before.

We watch a lot of movies, so I give a lot of grace here. You know, a person who’s a casual fan or doesn’t watch a lot of horror, a, a horror movie a week for years like we do, they might have a different impression. For me, I was like, “Okay, get to the thing where we know what these people are doing and what they’re up to, and, and this woman’s in danger.

We know that. Like, let’s just get to it, and let’s figure out what’s different about this so that I can like the movie.” 

Craig: Yeah, and I mean, ultimately there’s not that much more… There’s not that much different. 

No, there really isn’t. 

Craig: It’s kind of a li- It’s, you know, the things that we’ve already talked about kind of cobbled together basically.

Yeah. I mean, they’re not vampires. I guess one important thing, she walks through, you know, the lobby, but then she walks into the servant’s quarters, I guess. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And I noticed right away, I, I imagine you’re supposed to notice right away, that all of the people who work in service there are people of color.

Mm-hmm. 

Craig: All of them. 

Yeah. 

Craig: And she walks by one room where there’s a group of women in, like, maid uniforms standing around a table, and I think she says, “What’s going on?” And Patricia Arquette is like, “Oh, they’re celebrating. One of our maids is getting a promotion.” 

Clip: The Virgil was built in 1923. The neighborhood was different then, full of criminals and vagrants.

People vanished in broad daylight. 

Todd: No one cared Then came gentrification. Now it’s all coffee shops and hipster bars. Today, The Virgil is one of 

Clip: the most exclusive buildings in Manhattan. I must ask you to surrender your phone while you’re on the premises. Seriously? Our residents require absolute privacy.

Craig: Hmm. Just real quick, let’s talk about Patricia Arquette’s accent. Uh, what is happening? 

Todd: I have no idea. 

Craig: The whole time I was watch- Like, because initially she has, like, a thick Irish brogue, but it comes and goes. Like- Yeah. Like she’ll just, she’ll just pop it on and off. And I think that I read somewhere, and I don’t remember where it was, but I’m pretty sure that I read somewhere, oh, she did that on purpose.

It’s meant to be reflective of the fact that she, you know, is from the Old World or whatever, but she’s been living in America for so long that she kinda goes in and out of the accent. Okay. Okay. Don’t 

be a little lazy.

Craig: But it is funny, ’cause when she puts it on, it is thick, but it’s like she just only thinks about it every once in a while.

Oh, gosh. But anyway, Asia, under the guise of being somebody else named Isabelle, gets put in a room, and she hears something, I think, right away. And if you’re listening to it in headphones or earpieces, the sound is very good, and there are subtle sound cues that I don’t think that you would hear otherwise.

‘Cause this time around, I’ve seen it twice now, once on my own, once for the podcast, the, the second time around I had earbuds in, and I thought that I heard something when she heard something too. She looks around and she’s drawn to the vent, and she looks in the vent, and there’s somebody in there, right?

Todd: Yeah. Yeah. Literally someone in the vent. And then she goes to sleep. Like, don’t do that. Don’t do that in the room where you see their eyes looking out the vent from you. What, what are you doing? I, I don’t understand. 

Craig: But it’s really quick because while she’s asleep, somebody else comes in her room. I feel like she’s, um, she’s propped up a chair under the door so nobody can come in the door.

Yeah, 

Todd: she should have propped up s- something against that fricking vent. 

Craig: I know, right? 

Todd: Like, what, why are you letting that go? That 

Craig: vent open. She also doesn’t know, she also doesn’t know that there’s a hole in the wall behind her refrigerator- 

Todd: Right. … 

Craig: um, that people can come in and out of. 

Todd: We find that later.

Craig: Some creep-o in, like, a robe, like a hooded robe, and a mask, like a- 

Todd: Like a pig mask, but not really … 

Craig: yeah. Yeah. It’s simple- It’s so- … but yeah, like a pig mask … 

Todd: so typical, though. My God. Oh, this whole sequence. Right. Again, I was kind of checking my watch through this sequence. I’m like, all right, she’s gonna go to sleep.

Oh, this guy’s appearing. Now he’s disappearing. Now he’s appearing. He’s gonna grab her at some point. Like, let’s just… I’m waiting for it. And he does. He tries to put her out. I think he’s got, like, some chloroform or something on a tissue, or he’s trying to snuff her out, whatever, but she gets the upper hand on him and knocks him against a table, and I thought broke his neck.

There’s a lot of action in this movie that’s unreal. People in this movie take hits that I thought were being projected as, oh, this is death And there’s a reason for that. But yeah, at this point, like it sounds like his neck breaks as she knocks him against the table and, uh, he falls down. So she immediately goes to town because she’s that woman.

She’s, uh… You remember Kill Bill? She had the pussy wagon. You remember? Like, oh, I was thinking- 

Craig: I don’t remember 

Todd: it. Oh, yeah, that girl, uh, in Kill Bill who Uma Thurman plays, who comes in, looks like she’s- Sure. 

Craig: Gotcha … 

Todd: she’s in a situation that she might not be able to handle, but it turns out she’s an actual badass who- 

Craig: Right

Todd: is o- on alert at all times and can absolutely handle everything because she’s apparently trained in martial arts and all the weapons and things like that. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: And has come prepared. 

Craig: Well, there are funny, there are funny things that happen, like she, he does kind of chloroform her, but then she kills him or knocks him out or whatever.

Other people are trying to get into the room. In fact, they are getting in the room, I think. Like- 

Todd: They start crawling in … 

Craig: yeah, from the vent. 

Todd: Like ants from a wall. 

Craig: Yeah, right. Uh, the, a bunch of them. And first, she like unplugs a lamp so that it’s really dark in there, and 

Todd: then- Oh, huh … 

Craig: I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but somehow, I guess to wake herself up from the chloroform, she electrocutes herself.

Todd: Yeah? I didn’t get that bit. 

Craig: I thought it was kind of hilarious, ’cause sh- I don’t remember if she bit the cord or I don’t remember what she did, but like she electrocutes herself and jumps up and her hair is all standing on end. But then she’s all juiced up and she just runs and hides in the closet. You said she came prepared.

Did she bring all that stuff? I guess she did. 

Todd: I think she did, yeah. ‘Cause she runs into the closet, which looks like, like a comically stupid move. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: And you’re like, “What is going on here?” But I think it’s because she had all that stuff in there. 

Craig: I think you’re right. ‘

Todd: Cause then as soon as all these people gather, and again, even at this moment, I’ve seen movies like this before, people are suddenly, these mysterious robed people who are coming in are like talking, you know, like normal folks.

They’re like, “Oh, what happened to Jim? Oh, God.” ‘

Craig: Cause it’s, right, it’s the residents. Heather Graham is one of them. Draco Malfoy is one of them. Tom Felton. Oh, 

Todd: yeah. Oh, I for- I didn’t realize that. You’re right. 

Craig: Yeah. And then the, and then the other guys I didn’t recognize, but there’s like a g- there’s a group of like five main ones.

Mm-hmm. Like, uh, presumably, I mean, we come to find out that this is, of course, some sort of cult, but we don’t know that yet Sh- but she pops out of that closet with, like, a samurai sword. 

Todd: Yeah. She rolls out this thing and it’s got a whole bunch of different weapons in it, and she pulls out the sword and goes to town on them, yeah.

Craig: And she cuts off Tom Felton’s head right out of the gate. Right out of the gate. And then she fights- A 

Todd: foot and a hand off another person. 

Craig: He… Oh, gosh, she slights off- slices off a foot, slices off a hand. Like, this is a literal samurai sword, apparently. 

Todd: Oh, and when it’s happening, it’s that, like- 

Craig: Matrix

Todd: blood spray. Just like- That you would get in the old, again, this is a throwback to those some, some of those old Hong Kong action movies. 

Craig: Yes. 

Todd: Where it’s, it’s like a literal spray of blood coming out of the neck or the arm or something when something gets chopped off. Tarantino did it in Kill Bill a lot as well.

So if you haven’t seen those old movies, you’ve probably seen it there. Again, because I’ve seen so much of this, I thought, “This is trying to be Kill Bill. Okay. You know, what’s different about it? Tell me.” 

Craig: See, and I felt differently about it. The way that I felt about it was that it wore its inspirations on its sleeve, and it executed well.

Like, I, I lo- I loved this scene, and this was the first scene that I just really got a big smile on my face ’cause I didn’t know that it was gonna be this kind of movie. 

Mm. 

Craig: And I like this kind of movie, and I liked, I, I thought the, the fight scene was great. I thought that it was shot… You know, I, I, I mentioned The Matrix, but just that…

I don’t know how to describe it. It- but it takes on an entirely different cinematic style just for- Yeah … just for the fight. Like, the fight is filmed in a different way where the cameras move around the action a lot, and you get a lot of, uh, really interesting angles and- Good swordplay and- … swordplay and, and the camera will move quickly, but then it will s- the, the, it’ll go into slow motion briefly.

And just shot really well. And, and I thought that there were cool, not gags, but cool… Like, it was choreographed well. I thought that the fight, the fight wasn’t boring. And she’s taking a lot of hits, too. Yeah. And, and there’s one point where she, I think, ends up on her back, and she kind of spider crawls under the bed.

And then she- 

Yeah. … 

Craig: she pops out from under the bed and pushes up the mattress and uses it kind of like a, like a barricade and, and pushes them back against a wall, and then she stabs through it with her samurai sword and kills one guy. And just cool, i- interesting stuff to look at. I was actually really impressed with it.

I- 

Todd: Oh, yeah … 

Craig: I, I get what you’re saying in that it is… I don’t know. I don’t know if I do agree that it’s derivative. Like, where do you draw the line between paying homage or, uh, being derivative? I don’t know. 

Todd: Or, and where do you just say, “Well, this is just of that genre of film”? Right. So yeah, sure. You know, again, you’re right.

I- it’s unfair for me to say that. I’m just telling you how I felt when I was watching it. I think I was just a little impai… I was looking to see what’s gonna be different about this. And as these people are taking their hits, and she’s taking her hits, I think she’s taken far too many hits for her to still be alive.

Craig: Oh, sure. 

Todd: Every now and then, a person will pop up and take a swipe at her or throw something at her, and I’m like, “Wait a minute. That person, I could have sworn-” Like their neck was just snapped or something like that. And I started to get very critical of it. I was like, “Oh, my…” That, that was when I got even more frustrated.

I’m like, “Oh, is… Come on. I want these people to just be dead.” But it turns out they can’t die. 

Craig: Right. She walks out in the hall when they’re all dead, presumably chopped up on the floor. 

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: She walks out in the hall and gets confronted by Patricia Arquette, Lily, and they have a little… I don’t know.

There’s a little back and forth. It’s all in the trailer, where she’s like, “I guess we underestimated each other,” or something and, and she’s like, “Yeah.” I don’t know. I don’t know. She’s standing there like a badass. She’s covered in blood. That whole fight she was in just panties and, like, a little tiny crop top.

So it had kind of that ’70s exploitation vibe to it without feeling super exploitive. And I did appreciate that then after that fight she did put some pants on. 

Todd: Yeah, I wondered if we were gonna see her in just this- 

Craig: It would- … the whole movie. Yeah, it would’ve been a little over the top if she hadn’t found some pants, but she does.

But she goes out there and she- … and Patricia Arquette, you know, she’s like in a kind of weird half-Irish accent, “Who the are you?” And then it does, like… Did Tarantino do this in Kill Bill too? I feel like he did, where it would cut to exposition and it would give us a title card. Like, it would cut to a- Yeah

freeze frame to start a new, you know, kind of flashback that’s gonna give us exposition, and this one is her story. And we find out that… And we learn these things over the course of the movie, but we find out that she had a tough life and she ended up, I guess, in juvie and in jail, and that’s where she learned to fight.

Now, I didn’t know that they trained samurais in jail, because- … that’s what she is. Like, sure, she’s, she’s tough And, and she’s, you know, gritty, but she seems to be really skilled in weaponry and martial arts and- 

Todd: She’s magical … 

Craig: she’s a vampire slayer. She’s like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

Todd: She’s like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and everybody else is unkillable.

Craig: Literally. ‘

Todd: Cause we also find out… ‘Cause she, she pretty- almost explains it to her. And I don’t remember if it’s at this point or if it’s later- It 

Craig: is because- … 

Todd: that we learn it’s because they made a deal with the devil, basically. 

Craig: Yeah. Patricia Arquette says, I don’t know, she’s like, “I have a family that I have to take care of.

You know, they’re, they’re, they’re different,” or something. And, and all the people that she’s just killed, including Heather Graham and Tom Felton, in slow motion come walking out of the room. And Tom Felton is carrying his severed head under his arm and- Yeah … other ones of them are, like, carrying their severed limbs.

Eventually- They reattach … they reattach them, and there’s some CGI work there and- 

Todd: Some, a lot, I think some practical stuff there, too. I almost feel like the, some of the, uh, reattachment was, like, a pull apart done in reverse. 

Craig: Oh, that may be. That may be. 

Todd: Mm-hmm. I, I’m… It looks like something like that, and I was really impressed.

Okay, so what are the stakes here? This woman is a badass martial artist and seems to be able to take care of herself in all these crazy ways. These people can’t be killed, so no matter what she does to them, they’re gonna resurrect, they’re gonna regrow their limbs back or whatever. You get that now, like, what am I gonna have to watch this whole time?

Am I just gonna have to watch her battle these people? Endlessly while they regenerate? You know? So I kind of stopped paying attention at this point. 

Craig: Well, and that’s fair because it, we do find out, I don’t know, it’s around this point, somehow she gets away. She runs away, and there’s chases. There’s several chases, a lot of them through these, like, tunnels, uh, in the walls.

The 

Todd: vents. The, and the classic vents. Mm-hmm. This place is, uh, is full of these vents that can happen. I like the eyeball bit ’cause at one point Heather Graham’s character, uh, chases her down into one of these vents while she’s crawling around. Oh, and she looks down and sees, like, a bit of an orgy happening downstairs and- Uh-huh

she asks, uh… Virgil. Virg- Is it Virgil? Is that the guy’s name? I don’t 

Craig: remember what his name is. It’s, it’s, uh, it’s Lily’s husband. 

Todd: There’s sort of a magical Negro in here that was a little sad. Yeah, Lily’s husband is a, a Black guy who is kinda helping her. A little bit of People Under the Stairs vibe here, too, right?

Craig: Yeah, for sure. For sure. 

Todd: Maybe it’s just ’cause they’re crawling around in the walls, and this guy’s kinda part of the group, but he’s against it. Anyway, so he’s leading them through and he’s like, oh, her through, and he’s like, “Yeah, this is the s- the fuck,” like, what’s that? He’s like, “Well, you know, when you when you’re immortal you kinda get bored, and you need things to do.

And so every floor of this building has a different,” 

Craig: you know. It cater- yeah, it caters to a different vice. 

Todd: Fear, whatever. I thought, I thought that was an interesting thing he said that I thought was gonna have more of a, a thing in the movie, but it really doesn’t. 

Craig: I did, too, and I wish that it would have.

I guess- I do, too. Yeah, I mean, I, I, I guess the building is supposed to be, like, Dante’s Inferno, like the, the different levels of hell or whatever. 

Todd: Loosely. 

Craig: Yeah, I think that was kind of the initial g- the, the, the shooting title was, like, Nine Floors of H- the Nine Floors of Hell or something like that. But I think it- 

Todd: Hmm

I 

Craig: think it kinda got lost by the wayside. There’s, there’s that suggestion of it, but like you said, I expected it to be more. I expected to see more floors. 

Todd: That, that could’ve been interesting, right, her battling through these different floors- 

Craig: Right … that 

Todd: are themed. 

Craig: But it’s really not. She basically, the guy, whatever his name is, Lily’s husband, takes her to her sister.

Then it’s like family drama. The sister’s still pissed at her for abandoning her when they were kids. You know what? Get over it. Like, she was a kid, too. 

Todd: Also, she saved y- she did you a favor. She took out this guy. Well, it turns out he didn’t actually die. 

Craig: Right. 

Todd: And for some weird-ass reason he ended up back in her custody.

Craig: Right, and then, you know, we get her backstory, too, and she was, you know, working for shitty, pervy bosses, and she was gonna get this great job at The Virgil, and then it turned out that… I don’t remember. Again, th- we find this out over the course of several- flashbacks, but she was supposed to be a sacrifice because they are a cult and they have to make sacrifices so that they stay immortal.

That’s all we know at this point. But Maria was supposed to be a sacrifice, but one of the other maids got caught stealing and so they killed her, and so they needed a new maid. And so they made her a deal that she could live there and they’d take care of her, which, you know, I can understand why that would be appealing.

It’s a nice place. 

Todd: Yeah, but why do these people need to make a deal with anybody? I mean- 

Craig: Be- I think because, I think because they want their staff to be beholden to them. 

Todd: Hmm. 

Craig: It… Because their, the staff are immortal too. Somebody explains, I don’t remember who explains it, but somebody explains that there’s, like, a hierarchy.

Like, if the staff just behave themselves and are loyal, eventually they can move up the ladder. 

Hmm. 

Craig: And they, they use Lily as the example. Apparently she started out as a housekeeper or whatever and worked her way up. Interesting that she’s the only white one. 

Yeah. 

Craig: You know? Like, you don’t see a lot of the maids of color in the high society part of it.

But anyway, so yeah, it turns out that it’s that. But it’s, it’s also dumb sister drama. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Maria’s like, “This is my home now. They took care of me. You abandoned me.” And Asia’s like, “Well, I don’t care. I’m rescuing you anyway.” And, you know, there’s bickering between them. It’s fine. It, you know, is, in terms of the acting, it’s fine.

I even think in terms of the pacing it’s fine because they don’t dwell on it for too long each time. 

Todd: Correct. I agree. I- 

Craig: it’s not particularly interesting. Like, I don’t care. Like-

I get it. Yeah. Th- th- this, this is what’s motivating Asia to stay. You know, she feels obligated. She wants to protect her sister even though the sister is being dismissive, blah, blah, blah. And then it’s her trying to get the sister out, and everybody else is looking for them. You mentioned the eyeball part, but did you say what it actually was?

Todd: No. No, but I loved it. I loved it. This was my all-time favorite part of the whole movie. It was 

Craig: funny. 

Todd: You know, it immediately called up exactly what I was thinking. Any time you see one of these movies where there’s an immortal and they can’t be killed, and they regenerate and everything like that, I’m always asking myself, “Yeah, but w- what if you blow them into a million pieces?”

Craig: Yeah, 

Todd: right. You know, what if they’re de- atomized? And I always think of this Tales from the Crypt comic that I read as a kid, and one of the stories in there was a, one, one of these Monkey’s Paw stories. And you know the classic Monkey’s Paw story where the woman asks for her husband back, but then, you know, he comes back, he’s already been embalmed, and so he’s screaming, and he’s in pain and all that.

And so then, uh, in this Tales from the Crypt story, she chops him up to try to relieve his agony, but also he’s driving her crazy because he’s screaming and he’s in pain. 

Craig: Right. 

Todd: And the whole story ends with this great last panel where you see these tiny little bit- it’s like he’s just been chopped into tiny little pieces, and they’re just all in a big pile.

And the description is something like, “Each one of them quivering in pain,” and all that. And I just imagine, you know, these tiny little bits of Jell-O all piled up, all shaking and quivering and screaming. Oh, this poor guy, he’s never gonna die even if she chops him into tiny little pieces. And so anyway, I’m thinking about that in this movie.

I’m like, yeah, but I mean, she’s got all these weapons. She’s got these guns. She ends up blowing Sharon’s head off. Heather Graham’s character. And I’m like, come on. I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s mulch. It’s nothing in there. How can she possibly come back from this? And of course the body can move, but I’m like, yeah, but how’s the head gonna regenerate?

Well, apparently they just regrow. 

Craig: Yeah, eventually. But- At some point you see- Eventually … you see the body with a little tiny Heather Graham head- Tiny … coming out of it 

Todd: That’s like something out of Beetlejuice almost. It’s 

Craig: hilarious. 

Todd: It is funny. But 

Craig: yeah. 

Todd: There’s a bit of comedy. There’s quite a bit of comedy in this movie.

Craig: Yeah, it, it- 

Todd: And it, it can’t help but be … 

Craig: well, including the fact that, yes, her head explodes, but her eyeball is, is still intact- It’s sentient … and s- like sentient, and follows her around- Oh 

Todd: my God … 

Craig: for a while. 

Todd: It’s so hilarious. And the way that the eyeball gets 

Craig: her. For no real reason. I mean, I, I guess the eyeball observes her n- near the room, and the body can tell Tom Felton that later so that they can find her, I guess.

But, like, it’s just, that was a very Sam Raimi part to me. That felt very- It’s 

Todd: so Sam Raimi … 

Craig: very Evil Dead. In a great way, and I thought it was hilarious, and I liked it. It was 

Todd: super fun. 

Craig: And eventually the eyeball, like, falls out of the vent onto the floor, and Asia sees it and picks it up And you, you know, you, like, see from the perspective of the eyeball while Asia squishes it.

It’s funny. 

Todd: It is funny. 

Craig: And I hate to gloss over it, but there is a big fight scene in a dark cafeteria w- that uses a lot of fire and, and much of that, you know, was real. They did as much of it practically as they could, so, you know, uh, there was a lot of stunt coordination and precautions taken to make sure that everybody was safe.

Eventually… You know, she’s being bombarded. One of my favorite images of it, it’s a dark… When I say cafeteria, I’m talking about, like, a luxury, like a, like a ballroom kind of- 

Yeah … 

Craig: but it’s all dark except she finds one circle of light that she stands in, and she’s being attacked just from every angle because it’s tons of people around.

Like, at this point, Patricia Arquette has called on all of the servants and the residents who’ve all robed up, and everybody in the whole building is after her at this point. So she’s being bombarded from every angle, but she fights, and eventually she takes somebody out and she gets an ax and she wraps it in, I don’t know, cloth or something, and sets it on fire.

And then she goes in, back into the dark room, and fights with the fire ax. 

Todd: She does this so deliberately that I feel like she’s been waiting to do this her whole life. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: Like, she’s like, “Someday I’m gonna be… I’m training 

Craig: with this fire ax.” I knew that fire ax training would come in handy. I knew it.

This is my moment. But I love it. I mean, what’s not to love about a fire ax scene? And you know, and, and the ax- 

Todd: And it’s unique. 

Craig: Yeah, and it ignites other parts of the room and so, you know, again, the, the lighting changes and it’s surrounded by fire. It’s great. Well, and then there’s a big elevator shaft scene.

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: Lots of different set pieces and action pieces, but they end up being confronted by Patricia Arquette and all of the other folks, captured, and they’re gonna be taken up to the head. Now, they had said somewhere earlier that they made a deal. The history of this building is that these people made a deal with Satan through a conduit, and so they go up to the top floor of the penthouse and it’s just this big open, I don’t know, it looks like a warehouse or something room with a shrine of candles in the middle all around this giant disgusting pig head on a pole.

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And they do an evil ritual to call- 

Todd: Satan himself … 

Craig: Satan into the pig head. 

Todd: You, you know Ca- I’m just thinking at this moment, what did pigs ever do to us? When did pigs become so evil? Pig heads and Satan and all that, like what is the deal with this? Was it Lord of the Flies? 

Craig: I don’t know. 

Todd: Is that where we got this notion that like evil things come through pig heads, and that guys wear pig heads when they wanna do scary stuff to people?

It’s- Anyway, yeah, it’s typical, and here they are talking to… Well, this isn’t typical, but this pig head starts talking to them. And it, I think it instructs them that a sacrifice needs to be made in order for Maria to gain her immortality, and she says that she needs to sacrifice… One of the sisters needs to be sacrificed.

Craig: R- well, right. First, it makes Lily kill her husband- 

Todd: Ah, right … 

Craig: as punishment for him being a traitor or whatever, and she does it. And, and it try, you know, it shoehorns in this whole, like it tries to humanize her by they deserve to be able to live like this because of what they went through as an interracial couple, uh, you know.

Todd: Mm. 

Craig: And I really like Patricia Arquette, and, like, she really tries to motivate this story. Like, they try to make it- She 

Todd: tries to sell it … 

Craig: they try to make it an emotional beat in the movie. I just don’t care. You don’t need to try to humanize these people. Like, they’re, they’re Satan worshipers who kill people.

It’s 

Todd: too far-fetched. Yeah, it’s too big for you to try to add these moments of pathos in here- Yeah … honestly ’cause it’s already like a cartoon. 

Craig: Right, and who cares? And it’s just about to get more like a cartoon because like you said, she has to kill him, but then Maria, who’s already sign- I don’t know.

She’s made the deal. She’s gonna be immortal, but she has to kill somebody, and the pig says she has to kill her sister. So she says, “Okay, I’ll do it,” and she signs her name on the pig ’cause that’s how you, like- This 

Todd: whole- 

Craig: That’s- Ugh … that’s how you get your immortality is if you sign your name on the pig.

So she goes, like- 

Todd: This whole name signing thing. Oh my God. Whose idea was this? I 

Craig: don’t know. Oh my G- I feel like the pig, like, gets off on it, like it tickles him or something. 

Todd: I was thinking like, like a magician. “Okay, now sign your name on this card.” Yeah. You don’t remember? Like, I’m just like, “You’re gonna be seeing it later.

Something magical’s gonna happen.” 

Craig: I don’t know. I’m sure, you know, it’s a, a devil thing. You gotta sign your name to sign away your soul- … or something. 

Todd: On the pig skin. 

Craig: On the f- in, in flesh I guess. I don’t know. Whatever. But anyway, she signs her name. 

Todd: Yeah, but you know, there’s not enough room on that pig head for everybody who’s already signed their name presumably on that pig head.

Craig: I guess, but I guess it, it must be like a rotating roster because you’re im- you’re immortal- … until you do something wrong, and then all they have to do is erase your name. Like, the pig literally has, like, a pencil. Literally 

Todd: erase 

Craig: it. Yeah. He has a pencil- … hanging from his ear like an earring. That’s 

Todd: convenient, like a bank.

Pencil with the pen on the chain. 

Craig: Yeah. It’s, it is. 

Todd: Nobody run off with this now. Nobody run off- 

Craig: With my special pig pencil Oh, gosh. Yeah 

Todd: It’s probably enchanted. There’s a whole backstory behind this pencil and this pig, I’m sure that 

Craig: w- Right, like I feel like he can just use, like, the hair on his ears to erase people’s names.

I don’t know. It’s, it’s odd. Mm. But anyway, so Maria signs the name, then she comes down, then she kills herself. And then I don’t remember how this is conveyed, but it turns out that she didn’t really… I, I think that the two sisters are lying on the floor, and Maria’s dying, and I think she tells Asia, “I signed your name on it.”

Yeah, so Asia’s immortal. 

Todd: That shouldn’t work that way, by the way, ’cause it’s like signing a contract, right? Right. Signing someone else’s name doesn’t work. You 

Craig: wouldn’t think. 

Todd: You wouldn’t think the devil would be working this way. 

Craig: I don’t know. It seems to be fairly easily manipulated. 

Todd: I know, right? The devil’s always like, “Oh, fooled me.

Damn.” You’d think he came up with the rules of the game, he could change them, but no, he’s, he’s bound by it. 

Craig: So now Asia is Buffy, and she can fight them all. Um, and she does, and she fights them all. But meanwhile while she’s fighting and killing, killing, ’cause they’re still immortal. They, I am air quoting.

You can’t see that, ’cause this is an audio podcast. But I’m air quoting. Killing the rest of them. I- she incapacitates them momentarily. While she’s doing that, Patricia Arquette goes to the pig and is like, “Help me.” And then she puts the pig head on. Now, okay, so she puts it on, like, over her head and, like, I don’t know, tendrils from the pig’s s- decapitated head, like, come down and go under her clothes and, like, wrap all around her.

Todd: Yeah. Why? Th- someone’s been watching Motel Hell, you know- Or- … recently. 

Craig: Or- … this whole part, and I, I don’t know, you know, I read that they tried to do a lot of, you know, practical th- in the movie in general. This feels really CGI heavy. I don’t really have a problem with that other than at this point, and again, I don’t necessarily have a problem with this, but this whole scene felt very much like a video game.

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And, and maybe I was thinking about it in the moment thinking, “Well, maybe that’s just because movies don’t go here as often as video games do.” 

Todd: Yeah, I guess so. 

Craig: But I don’t know. Y- 

Todd: For good 

Craig: reason … all of… Yeah. I mean, all- I mean, it’s, it’s a good fight. Patricia Arquette now all of a sudden is a badass.

I’m sure she had nothing to do with this. Like- The second that pig head goes on, Patricia Arquette went home with her check. 

Todd: For sure. 

Craig: Um The animators took over. Come on. But it’s, but it’s a, a, a big, you know, an intense, huge special effects driven martial arts, you know, people flipping through the air, all kinds of shit going on, big fight scene and, you know, at this point, I don’t know, like some sort of pipe is broken and cold air is shooting in, so it’s like snowing, and it’s all shot in blues and whites and, um- 

Todd: I do, I, I do have to say I do start tuning out during this stuff.

It’s- 

Craig: I liked it … 

Todd: it’s too much. 

Craig: I even liked- I, it was fine … I even liked the pig head stuff. Like, at le- 

Todd: Yeah … 

Craig: you know, it is something different. 

Todd: Pig headed Satan. You know, 

Craig: why not? 

Todd: Yeah, I guess it’s different enough. It’s not really that different, but it is different to see him fighting. 

Craig: Yeah, I liked her fighting the pig head monster.

I thought it was fun and… But eventually she just, you know, she bests it and she tears the head off and Patricia Arquette is like, “No!” I, I, I don’t know how you say no in a weird Irish brogue, but she tries and then I think Asia kicks her and she goes flying, like, 20 feet in the air and it’s all in slow motion and we’re watching her, like, flailing in the air and then she gets impaled on the pig pole.

Yeah. And she’s dead. 

Todd: So the whole deal is that at one point in here Asia sliced her name off of the pig head, so she’s got the skin with her name on it. But because the pig’s head burns up- 

Craig: She, now- … 

Todd: with everybody else’s name on it- 

Craig: Right. She burns it now after she defeats it, after she, quote, air quote, “kills Patricia Arquette.”

Yeah, she burns the pig’s head to erase all the other names so that those people will no longer be. Right. Which 

Todd: kills them. 

Craig: Well, it, it, it- 

Todd: So now she’s the only immortal- 

Craig: Well, right … 

Todd: I guess. 

Craig: Right. And it doesn’t necessarily kill them because she walks out and there’s still a whole bunch of them, like, in the lobby.

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Um, she’s carrying her sister and, and she walks out and says, “I suggest you move,” or something, and they do. So I don’t think that they all just, like, drop dead. I just think they’re not immortal anymore. 

Todd: Yeah. Oh, yeah. You’re right. You’re right. That’s 

Craig: probably it. But anyway, she goes out and there’s a guy waiting for her.

I guess she had arranged a ride apparently. 

Todd: Right. 

Craig: We, we’ve seen this guy before. This is the guy that, that told her where Maria was in the beginning of the movie. 

Todd: Right. 

Craig: Anyway, she puts Maria’s dead body in the back of the car and she’s sitting in the front and then all of a sudden Maria sits up and everybody, everybody except Asia’s like, “What?

She was just dead.” But Asia explains that somewhere along the lines, I have no idea when, she changed the name on the pig skin that she had in her pocket. She marked over her name and changed it so it said Maria

Oh my God So now Marie is 

Todd: alive. These are such video game rules. Like, ugh, it’s like an adventure. It’s like a King’s Quest or something like that. I, I, I just, uh, again, I, I laugh at these movies. It’s fine. It’s hilarious. But, like, that the devil is so easily bested by these technicalities, you know? 

Craig: Yeah, the devil.

Todd: Right. The devil himself. Make no mistake. Damn it, she changed the name on the skin that she was holding. 

Craig: Never 

Todd: thought of that. Guess I gotta honor that. 

Craig: Yeah, and I guess, I don’t know, I guess that pig head is gone. It doesn’t exist anymore, but she’s still got- 

Todd: So that means the whole cult, everything’s finished

I 

Craig: guess, un- maybe they can get a new pig head. 

Todd: Where does the devil go now? Like, I mean, he, he was kinda behind the windows 

Craig: and then- I mean, it was just a conduit, so maybe they could just get a new big pig head. Everybody sign it again, you know? 

Todd: Like a cast. 

Craig: No big deal. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: I don’t know. But anyway, they get away, and they drive away to go get some breakfast or something, and that’s the end.

Todd: And the Virgil explodes. The building 

Craig: explodes. Does it? Oh, I didn’t even remember that. 

Todd: Well, the top floor anyway. I, I don’t know. I assume- 

Craig: Oh, that’s right. That’s right. It pans up. Yeah, like that, that pentagram stained glass window, like, explodes, right? Honestly, I, I liked it. I thought it was a lot of fun.

Todd: It was fun. 

Craig: I would recommend it. I… Kill Bill, I don’t need to tell you this. I don’t need to tell anybody this, but those movies were wildly popular. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And, like, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon even, you know, was wildly popular in America. And The Matrix was, you know, the effects and the fight sequences and the, the way those were shot were heavily influenced by those types of things.

And again, audiences like this stuff. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: I, I think it’s a fun movie, and I think this would be the kind of movie that I would feel like I could recommend for a movie night with people. I don’t know. It is gory. It does have that Sam Raimi and, and like you said, some of the older kung fu stuff with the, the spraying blood and- Mm-hmm

whatnot. But it’s, it feels so heightened uh, beyond a level of reality. I mean, it is gross 

Todd: Yeah 

Craig: It’s almost to the point of silly 

Todd: It’s more tolerable for some people. It, it becomes a l- oddly enough, it becomes a little more mainstream in that way because the gore isn’t presented as something that’s like- 

Craig: Realistic

Todd: yes, realistic and, you know, you’re crying over these characters and the horrible thing that happened to them Right, 

Craig: or empathizing with them. No, it’s, it’s like a cartoon. Right. Exactly 

Todd: Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. 

Craig: So yeah, I think, y- you know, if, if friends wanted to get together for a fun movie night, I think this would be a fun movie to watch.

And there is comedy in it. It’s got recognizable people, especially for people our age. I would recommend this to our friends. I do recommend this to our friends. Friends, I recommend it. Hmm. I think it’s a fun movie. 

Todd: Yeah, I mean, I’m not gonna give it a glowing review, but there is nothing wrong with this movie.

And it moves and it’s really stylized and it’s beautiful to watch, and it… If you’re into this action. I, I have to say one thing I guess I kinda like about it, is that I’m really big on not, not making violence beautiful. You know, I was really… I think I probably said this before, but I was really maybe one of the only people in the world who didn’t like 300 because I felt like that glorified violence to the extent that it was trying to make it artsy and beautiful, and I really just kind of, to the mic, the core, I really was turned off by that.

Kill Bill and some of the Tarantino movies really veer in that direction, and although I enjoy those films and they are kind of up my alley, there’s a little piece of me that is a bit revolted at that. This movie, at least, when this violence that’s so stylized and so exciting happens to them, it’s happening to these, like, immortal people who, you know, are regenerating anyway.

So I think that’s another thing somehow that softens it. I don’t know. I- That’s, that’s really picking nits. Uh, at the end of the day, yeah, I, I, I’ve seen so many movies like this already that I would say that if you’re into these kind of movies, here’s another one for you. That’s why my review’s not super glowing because I was kind of hoping to see something new here, and I feel like it was more of a mishmash of stuff that we saw before.

But it’s skillfully done mishmash of things that we’ve done before- Mm-hmm … that we’ve seen before, and it sure is a fun ride, and the acting is great, and yeah, everything that you said. So, uh, that’s, that’s where I stand on it. It’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with it. Well, thank you guys so much for listening and, and hope you enjoy this episode.

If you did, please share it with a friend. If you like this movie or you got something to say about it or you just flat out disagree with us, especially if you agree with me, go online and, uh, find us or just Google Two Guys and a Chainsaw Podcast. We have brenchainsawhorror.com. We also have a Patreon page, uh, patreon.com/chainsawpodcast, which, uh, will, for five bucks a month, get you our complete unedited phone calls, some minisodes and things we’ve put up there over the years.

Uh, we have a book club ongoing, uh, lots of dialogue with our fans back behind there. That’s patreon.com/chainsawpodcast. Also, just leave us a review somewhere. God. Go to Apple Podcast site. Just leave us a little review. Getting the word out to people is more than anything what we really want here. We appreciate your support however it comes.

Until next time, I’m Todd. 

Craig: And I’m Craig. 

Todd: With Two Guys and a Chainsaw.