Man’s Best Friend (1993)

Episode 489, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

 Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw I’m Todd. 

Craig: And I’m Craig. 

 Todd: It was Craig’s turn to pick this week, and wouldn’t you know it, I think his love for dogs is showing through. If you’re a longtime listener of this podcast, you’ll know that, uh, which of the two of us are the major pet lovers.

We both love pets, don’t get me wrong, but I’m more of a cat guy, and, uh, Craig is a dog guy. So, uh, I think he decided … I don’t know why you chose this. This is 1993’s Man’s Best Friend, written and directed by John Lafia, who’s responsible for the Child’s Play franchise. I think he wrote the first one. He directed the second one.

He’s done a few other things, but… And then he did this movie, which is chock-full of stars. But I had heard of it. I, I think it was somewhere on our list somewhere to do eventually, but I hadn’t seen it, and I didn’t really know much about it. How about you, Craig? Had you seen this before? 

Craig: I know that I had.

I think I probably saw it when it came out when I was younger. I mean, I guess I would’ve been, like, a freshman in high school- 

 Todd: Mm-hmm … 

Craig: just because I thought that the box art looked awesome. 

 Todd: It is pretty badass, yeah. 

Craig: It’s, like, this Rottweiler-looking, mean, snarling dog’s face, and, like, half of it is, like, a cyborg dog.

 Todd: Yeah. Oddly. 

Craig: And yeah. And then Lance Henriksen is down in the bottom corner. And you know, of course, I knew him from a bazillion things. Yeah. So I’m sure I watched it then when I was a kid, and then I’m pretty sure that I watched it again. I haven’t mentioned it in a long time, but when I was doing my internship in another town where I didn’t know anybody, and s- all I did was hang out in my apartment and rent several horror movies a day and- Yeah

this I, I’m s- I’m sure I re-watched it then. But honestly, I didn’t remember anything about it going into it And so I popped it on last night, and I am so excited to talk about it. I’m 

 Todd: glad you are. There are so many people in this. Oh my God, I, I really kind of went in blind, and Ally Sheedy, Lance Henriksen, the freaking, that kid actor, J.D.

Daniels from The Mighty Ducks, and John Cassini, and I don’t know if you know Robert Costanzo. You might not know his name- Yeah … but you know his face- Yeah … in every movie that’s ever been made in the modern era, I think. 

Craig: Yeah. He’s 

 Todd: in it 

Craig: somewhere. He, uh, he was in an episode of, uh, Golden Girls. He played a coach.

 Todd: He’s been in everything. Any time you need this- I 

Craig: know … 

 Todd: big, fat, bald Italian guy, he’s the one. 

Craig: Yeah. 

 Todd: Always making some wisecrack remark. 

Craig: You, you, you click on the See All tab on his IMDb page, and you have to scroll for, like, pages and pages. Like- … he’s been working for decades. He’s been in everything. 

 Todd: It’s been amazing.

This is the guy I wanna be, you know? As a famous actor- Right? … that’s the kind of famous actor I’d wanna be. Just this dude who does like- Definitely … five to 10 movies a year, all these small roles. Probably very few people are stopping him on the street and telling him how- Right … how amazing he is, you know?

He just gets to live a normal life, but also be in so many movies, work with so many cool people, and probably make a nice living for himself. 

Craig: Sure, 

 Todd: sure. I mean, God, his residuals alone must be insane. I should look up his house. Can you look that stuff up online? Like, what does Robert Costanzo’s- Probably

house look like? I’ll bet it’ll surprise you. Even Bob Shay has a very small cameo in here. 

Craig: Yeah. ‘

 Todd: Cause it’s New Line produced and- Oh my word, what a movie, what a movie. 

Craig: Yeah, there’s… And so the guy who wrote and directed it, John Lafia, he was a co-writer on the first Child’s Play named Chucky, and then he directed Child’s Play 2.

And we both really liked Child’s Play 2. Oh 

 Todd: yeah, 

Craig: absolutely. And his special effects guy on this, Kevin Yagher, I guess is a big special effects guy- Oh, yeah … but he worked with Lafia on, on Child’s Play, and he designed Chucky and he did all the work on the puppets, and he also did all the other, like, makeup and gore effects too.

 Todd: Yeah, I mean, he did The Cryptkeeper too. I mean, he’s, he’s definitely- Did he? … a big special effects guy, yeah. 

Craig: Right. 

 Todd: We’ve done a lot of movies that Kevin Yagher has, uh, contributed to. 

Craig: And then ex- Okay, so it’s a movie about a dog, really, and oh God- … I can’t wait to talk about so many things about it, but, like, the dog, you know, doesn’t talk, but it makes dog noises.

And I just assumed that they just got, you know, got stock dog noises from somewhere. But apparently they had Frank Welker, the voice of Megatron and Scooby-Doo, come in and do a lot of Max’s- … uh, voice work too. 

 Todd: That’s, that’s one of those things where you’d c- you kinda wonder like, “Really? D- was that necessary?”

I’m glad the guy got some work, and I’m s- you know, I’m a voice actor. I understand there’s talent involved. You can’t just get anybody off the street to come in and do these voices. But, uh, you know, a- as a voice actor who’s not fa- a, also a famous actor, it, it irks me a little bit when nowadays instead of getting, like, professional voice actors in for cartoons and things, they get stars in- Right

to do these voices. And this is just, like, another step in that other direction where w- did you have to get this really, really famous voice actor to come in and do the dog sounds for this? Or could you gotten, like, a, a guy who would’ve liked his break? It’s like Vin Diesel being Groot. Really? Yeah. Really?

Craig: Yeah. Yeah, I don’t know, but I mean, he did a good job because- Yeah … sounded like a real dog to me. 

 Todd: Sure did. 

Craig: And I don’t even know, did you mention Ally Sheedy when you were talking about- 

 Todd: I don’t think you heard half of what I said because you’re repeating almost everything. 

Craig: I’m sorry. I must not be paying attention to you- No, it’s okay

because I’m so excited. You’re- Seriously … 

 Todd: No, I’m, I’m teasing you. I’m teasing you. No, yeah, I’d mentioned Ally Sheedy right off the bat, and I was like, “Ah, I haven’t seen Ally Sheedy in a while. Is she even still around doing stuff?” I don’t even know. 

Craig: Honestly, I just have so many things rolling around in my head that, like, as I was watching it last night that I wanted to talk about that I think I’m distracted.

So let me start out with Ally Sheedy by saying it struck me very early on that this movie has almost an identical plot to Short Circuit. 

 Todd: Oh my God 

Craig: There’s, you know- You’re 

 Todd: right … 

Craig: evil scientists create this dangerous science experiment that then escapes and finds Ally Sheedy, who sees the good in it and tries to protect it from the evil scientists.

 Todd: Uh-huh. 

Craig: And the dangerous e- science experiment, like, protects her from harm. Bad things, right. Uh-huh. Like- 

 Todd: Until, uh, it r- reaches its limitations in some way. It, it goes a little off the ra- you know, it, it’s not a perfect one-for-one. Right. Right. But, you know, up until that point- Exactly … you’re right, it is strikingly similar.

And I think that’s not an altogether… I mean, there are other movies like that too, right? Where somebody has to rescue something, uh, from a… Sort of like Fly to the Navigator, I guess you could say. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It’s a little like that. Uh-huh. There’s, there’s a lot. It’s a template, for sure. 

Craig: Well, and the other thing that Ally Sheedy contributes that I just found so interesting and bizarre about this movie, and ultimately what made it stand out in such a unique way that I was like, “Oh my gosh, this is so weird, I wanna tell people about it”- Hmm

is this movie is shot like a family comedy about a family who, like, adopts this- 

 Todd: I 

Craig: know … dog that then causes mischief. 

 Todd: Ah. 

Craig: And it’s, it’s shot like that, and it’s scored like that. 

 Todd: Yes. 

Craig: And Ally Sheedy brings a levity to it like that. And like- 

 Todd: Everybody does, really. Lance Henriksen almost feels out of place in this movie.

He feels like the only person who has anything other than wacky. 

Craig: But he’s kind of the cartoonish villain from- Yeah … those types of family movies too. 

 Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: Ah. It’s so strange. 

 Todd: That’s what I found a little off-putting about it. I think other people might say, “Oh, that’s what kinda makes this unique and charming and interesting,” and I like the idea of going that direction.

You know, we’ve al- we’ve often talked about how flipping expectations on their heads a little bit can have this interesting effect, like scoring something… Like, like we’ve talked about, uh, An American Werewolf in London, that horrific transformation scene has this beautiful ballad over it, Blue Moon, right?

Mm-hmm. And, and in this case you can see what they were thinking. They were like, “Let’s make this like Beethoven-” 

Craig: Yeah “… 

 Todd: except we’re gonna make it really gory, and the dog’s killing people.” 

Craig: Right. 

 Todd: And you can think, “Wow, that’ll have an effect.” And the effect it has for me was just like, “What the hell am I watching?”

For most of it, to be honest with you. I tried to keep an open mind through the whole thing, and I tried to enjoy it, but I- Oh, I, I, I have to admit, the vibe as I was watching it was, “This is the movie I have on in the background while I’m doing other things.” 

Craig: See, and I just found it so odd that I couldn’t stop- 

 Todd: Yeah

watching. 

Craig: I was fascinated by it. Plus I do love dogs. And that’s the other thing, like this killer dog, for I would say, I don’t know, the first 70% of the movie, I mean, he’s ornery. He kills people every once in a while. But for the most part he’s like this really sweet, big cuddly dog. Mm-hmm. And like, and he’s adorable.

God, and I, uh, you’ll have to play a little bit of the score because, you know, it’s like the score under some nostalgic movie from your childhood. It’s- 

 Todd: Oh, exactly. It’s like a Steven Spielberg type score. Really is. 

Craig: Yeah. Or like the score under the beginning of Something Wicked This Way Comes where it’s…

Oh gosh. It’s- 

 Todd: Yeah … 

Craig: it’s hard to describe but you- Doesn’t 

 Todd: even have that edge to it. 

Craig: No. You would recognize it when you hear it. But- 

 Todd: Mm-hmm … 

Craig: yeah. All of those things. And I, it’s funny, I, I didn’t know what you would think of it, but as I was watching it, I was thinking w- I’m sure I was inspired by one scene in the movie in particular, but it reminded me a little bit of that movie that we watched about that cat.

 Todd: Yes. 

Craig: That cat that was possessed by another cat. 

 Todd: Exactly. I thought exactly the same thing. Uninvited is what it was called. Not The- Yeah … Uninvited. Uninvited. 

Craig: I felt like it was goofy in that way. 

 Todd: Uh-huh. It was. 

Craig: I feel like this movie is just kind of a much more polished version of that. Yeah. And maybe for some people that takes something away from it.

Like- 

 Todd: Yeah … 

Craig: if it’s this polished, maybe then it can’t be so bad it’s good. 

 Todd: Well- 

Craig: If that makes sense … 

 Todd: I agree with you. I also was comparing it to Monkey Shines. 

Craig: Uh-huh. 

 Todd: Because Monkey Shines starts out much like this movie starts out, where there’s this great bond being made between this, you know, this person who’s, who’s basically quadriplegic, right?

And this monkey friend that he has. And it starts out as this great friendly thing and it, it’s all nice and positive, but there is still somehow an undercurrent of you know this is going to turn sour. And it does, and it’s really serious about that. And this movie is lacking that undercurrent. Even though it does turn sour and bad things do happen, I, more people die in this one than died in Monkey Shines.

There’s a lot more action in this one than in Monkey Shines. But ultimately it, even with all the bad things that happened, by the end of it, it still doesn’t feel like this big, tragic story that I watched, you know? It, it kinda doesn’t. It feels like I went through this little rompy adventure movie like so many others from my childhood that also happened to be really gory and people died in it.

It was so weird. Yeah. My experience of this film was so weird. 

Craig: It is a weird movie, but that’s one of the things that I thought was so charming about it. I’m like, “Why is it so weird?” Hmm. And why is Ally Sheedy in this movie? And… 

 Todd: The… You could accidentally rent this movie for your family and not know what you’re getting into until, like, 20 minutes in.

I would love to see, like, YouTube reaction videos of families who did that and see what happens when the first dog attack gets serious, you know? Oh, my God. 

Craig: But it’s corny, too. It is. Like, it is pretty, it is pretty bloody and gory, but it’s also very corny. Like, there is definitely a comic edge to it that worked for me.

I don’t know. 

 Todd: I wouldn’t even say edge. I mean, it’s overtly comedy, I think, for most of it. 

Craig: For most of it, yeah. 

 Todd: It never takes itself very seriously. 

Craig: Yeah. 

 Todd: And it, I think, honestly, I don’t know. I, I mean, we, we could start talking about the movie itself, like- Yeah … but I, I, I honestly feel like it’s, in many ways, except for that dichotomy, that weird contrast between the gore and the blood and the violence and this heartwarming comedy about this family and this lovable dog, that aspect of it is very middle of the road.

It’s so much like so many other movies just like it that it’s not really remarkable in that way. It’s these edgy things that make it remarkable. 

Craig: Fair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you… And you’re right. We can get into it. I mean, it, the credits are over, like, these, like, medieval paintings of dogs or historical paintings of dogs, and at first it’s, you know, man’s best friend type of thing, and then it progresses to, like, how dogs can be vicious and hunters and guard dogs- Mm-hmm

and stuff like that. And then it kind of shifts back to loyalty and protectiveness and Which may be kind of a motif of the movie, I suppose. I don’t know. Hmm. Anyway, we go to this, you know, an evil laboratory, Emax laboratory, where, uh, do we see… Uh, I guess we kinda see that it’s a, an animal testing facility of some sort.

We just kinda get an overview of it at first, right? Right. Right. And then we meet Lori, played by Ally Sheedy, who I know we’ve both mentioned, but I just wanna say I’m a big fan of hers. Always have been. Grew up watching The Breakfast Club and Short Circuit. Loved both those movies, and she’s continued to work, and she’s continued to do the work that she wants to do, and I think she’s a really cool lady.

But here she’s young and perky. She’s, you know… This is a, mm, a handful of years after Short Circuit, and she is a reporter. I think she’s kind of just a beat reporter, but I think she wants to get into more serious things. And this, I don’t know, somebody who works at Emax, this girl Judy who works at Emax, calls her and is like, “I’ve got this big story for you.

I’ll let you in the lab for $500.” And, and, and Lori is on the beat. But Judy goes into… I don’t know what she’s doing. Feeding the animals? Giving… I don’t know what she’s doing. Charting something? I don’t know. 

 Todd: Well, tending to them in some way, yeah. 

Craig: Yeah. I don’t remember at what point we see it. It’s probably…

It is. It’s when the reporters actually show up that we kind of see the condition of these animals. At this point, we’re just kinda seeing animals in cages, but she rounds a corner, and there’s a big cage that’s empty, and then we get some sort of animal POV. 

 Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: Scary POV, and Judy gets attacked from the back and kind of falls into the cage and then dragged out of the cage, and she’s getting attacked, but somebody tranqs the attacker, and we see that it’s some sort of furry animal.

 Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: But we know that there’s this violent animal or whatever, right? 

 Todd: Yeah. Who do you think tranqed the attacker? 

Craig: It was Dr. Jarrett, Lance Henriksen. All 

 Todd: right, it was, 

Craig: okay. Yeah, we haven’t met him yet. Well, I, I mean, I assume it must be, but then it kind of s- It 

 Todd: must be. 

Craig: Yeah. The next time we see him, he’s coming to the lab, but I bet he’s coming back to the lab having disposed of her body.

 Todd: Okay, that makes sense then. 

Craig: Of course, we don’t find out anybo- about any of this later, but just heads up, Dr. Jarrett is Lance Henriksen, basically the mad scientist. Like, you don’t really know he’s a mad scientist until later, but- 

 Todd: Mm-hmm … 

Craig: yeah. So anyway, Lori and her producer? 

 Todd: Or assistant. Yeah, uh, it seems like just her camera person, I think.

They definitely… Yeah, they, they break in to the lab. They kinda sneak in while some guys are unloading garbage. A- and, uh, they go through, and they’re filming this expose in there very easily. Ver- they’re not as sneaky as you’d think they should be, being in there. They’re talking in pretty normal tones of voice and walking around and making a lot of noise and- 

Craig: And it’s pretty darn easy to get in there.

 Todd: Yeah, every room that says special things, you know, special access required, they just open it. No keycard scanning or anything like that. Anyway, they go in, and they find one special room that’s called Special Projects, and it’s got all these exotic animals in there, and the one cage that’s covered up i- she goes in, “What is behind this?”

And opens it up, and it’s just this big dog. Uh, what breed is it? I don’t know. 

Craig: Oh, gosh, I don’t know. It was a breed- 

 Todd: Oh, Tibetan Mastiff. 

Craig: Yeah, they wanted to use a dog that was not common in the United States because they didn’t want to give any part- you know, like a common American dog, like a Rottweiler, they didn’t wanna give it- Hmm

a bad rap, so. 

 Todd: Right. Named Max, and so they end up kind of… She, she wants to do her, film her opening there, so she opens the cage, and, you know, it’s just typical… You’re a dog guy. I’m not a dog guy, but I like dogs. I don’t hate dogs at all. But I do not have a compulsion to run up and pet every animal I run across.

In fact, I kind of find that annoying. I find it annoying, and maybe we’ve talked about this before, but I find it very annoying that people feel like they have the license to just go up and run over and start touching an animal that they see, ’cause they think it’s cute or something like that. And I don’t know where this comes from.

I don’t know if you, if you learn it as a child or something like that, or you watch it on TV, or maybe you just have a compulsion to do it. But so many people I’m with, particularly girls, will do this, and I wanna say, “Just chill. Lay back. Maybe that dog or cat doesn’t want you to touch it.” Ask, at least ask the owner first if you can pet the dog.

I just … You never know what an animal is gonna, how they’re going to react. Even if they’re out and about walking around on a leash, you just don’t know. 

Craig: Right. 

 Todd: And especially if they’re in a fricking lab in a cage. 

Craig: Right. Come on. 

 Todd: What an idiot. 

Craig: Yeah. I, 

 Todd: uh- Sorry, I don’t know why I went on that little rant there, but I just felt compelled- No, no

to get that out there. I, 

Craig: I agree with you. I think that’s rude. I- uh, in, uh, in my experience, people always ask, and I have always had very attractive dogs. Oh, wow. Um, but, uh, no, people always ask, and I think, you know, I th- I think that’s fine. I think it’s o- okay if, if you ask, but I also think that you need to be prepared to be considerate if people say no.

 Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Like, for whatever, and they don’t have to explain to you why, you know? Yeah. And, and when people ask to pet my dogs I’ll say, “That’s fine, but be aware that they might jump up,” you know? Like 

 Todd: Right. 

Craig: Anyway. 

 Todd: Well, especially a 

Craig: stray. Thank you for coming to our TED Talk. 

 Todd: Yeah. I know, man. I, I don’t know what it is, and maybe it is a cultural d- maybe I’m just, you know, I’ve been out of the States for too long and people are a lot more polite in the States about it.

But, like, when I’m out with people and they see a st- especially when they see a stray walking around on the street and they run up to grab it, I’m like, “You fricking idiot. Leave that thing alone. You have no idea.” 

Craig: It’s dangerous. You never know a dog’s temperament. 

 Todd: It’s dangerous and it’s also dan- you know, like, you don’t know what

It could have fleas. It could have some disease. Like, you just, it could bite you and then you’re gonna be worried for the rest of the day. It would … I mean, just l- don’t touch it. You don’t have to touch it. Just admire it. If you think it’s cute, that’s great. Admire it from afar and then let it be.

Anyway. 

Craig: Yeah. But, but she’s a big sucker like me, and she… I mean, this dog seems very gentle, and it, it looks like a gentle giant. It’s a beautiful dog. 

 Todd: Hmm. 

Craig: It’s, it’s colored like a Rottweiler, but its, its tail is not docked, and it’s, it’s longer-haired and, and larger than a, a Rottweiler. It’s a very big dog.

 Todd: Hmm. 

Craig: But she opens it up and she, like, snuggles with it. 

Clip: Is this dog really a noble sacrifice, donating his life for the betterment of mankind? Or is he simply an innocent victim of the billion-dollar vivisection industry? And then- 

Craig: That’s also another thing that draws me to this movie. I am a dog person. I absolutely love dogs.

I’m the kind of person who if a stray dog came up to me, I probably would cautiously- 

 Todd: Oh my God … 

Craig: pet it crazy. If it came up to me with tail wagging, you know, I, I don’t know that I could help myself. But sorry, I got off track. I am a dog lover, and I think I like watching movies like this that involve real, well-trained, and well-managed animals.

 Todd: Mm. 

Craig: And most of the trivia that I read about this was about the caution that they took with the animal actors in this movie. 

 Todd: It seems like whoever wrote that trivia was really worried that someone was gonna think that this dog was put through some trauma doing this because every trivia item is like, “Don’t worry, he was jumping off of a platform onto a soft surface, and the knife that was brandished at him wasn’t real, and they used a puppet dog, you know, at that point where the blowtorch is going into his face,” and stuff like that.

And it’s like, oh, that’s cute. I’m so glad that somebody is so concerned. 

Craig: I think the production worked very closely with, I don’t know if it was PETA or ASPCA or, or who it was, but some, you know, animal welfare group. They worked very closely with them because I think there… They wanted there to be transparency- Yeah

that these animals were well-treated. And you know, when, when the reporters first go in the lab, you see all of these animals with terrible wounds in their sides, and, like, there’s a monkey with, like, its skull cut off and its brain exposed under a dome and, like- Yeah … all of this is carefully detailed in…

It’s, it’s documented somewhere ’cause I, I read it in the trivia. Right. Yeah. All of these were very lightweight prosthetics. No animals were harmed. They, nope, they weren’t even uncomfortable. They were fine. Ugh. And, and I believe them. But I do, I really like… And, and this dog is so very well-trained. It’s, it’s a great…

We’ve seen other great… The Cat in That Boat movie was a good actor. 

 Todd: Uh-huh. Yeah, 

Craig: sure was. And this dog is a real- And this dog is a really good animal actor, and I like it. 

 Todd: And you know what? For the, for the close-up scenes of the Cat in the Boat movie, a puppet was used, and you didn’t even need to tell me that in the trivia.

That was what was so charming about that movie. Oh, go back and listen to that episode, guys, and watch that movie, Uninvited. It is just- That movie 

Craig: is hilarious … 

 Todd: one of my all-time favorite movies we’ve ever done, and I have gone back and re-watched it just for fun so many times. It never gets old. It 

Craig: is, it’s a, it’s a really fun movie.

 Todd: Ugh. 

Craig: Yeah. A- okay, so she lets the dog out, and then th- she gets, they get caught by, like, a custodian- I’m sorry, what? Wait. 

 Todd: Who, who let the 

Craig: dog out? Can you hear me? 

 Todd: Who let the dog out? 

Craig: Oh my God. Who? 

 Todd: Who? Who? 

Craig: Well, I mean, we are, we are in 1993. 

 Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: So, uh- 

 Todd: That’s not so dated as it 

Craig: sounds … not, not far off base.

Well, she tries to film her intro or whatever, but they get caught, and they run away. And Max the dog, like, knocks over some barrels on the guard to keep him away, and then the producer, the camera lady drops a cassette- That obviously they’re gonna use to track them down, but it’s such a stupid device because-

they don’t find it until, like, days and days later. Yeah. Like, when it’s a, a great time for them to find it, they finally find it. 

 Todd: Well, when it’s helpful for the plot, yeah, exactly. 

Craig: Yeah, and, and, you know, j- the, Jarrett arrives and, like, confronts the dog and, like, tries to, like, talk to the dog and give it commands and stuff, but the dog runs away, and it runs out to Ally Sheedy’s car and jumps in the car with her, and they drive away with it.

Like she’s just gonna take this- 

 Todd: Oh. 

Craig: She’s just gonna rescue this lab dog that she knows nothing about- 

 Todd: Mm-hmm … 

Craig: where they’re doing weird experiments on animals. But, you know, it’s, uh- It’s so cute … Ally Sheedy. She proves time and again that she’s got a soft spot for these helpless, deadly science experiments.

 Todd: Yeah, she does. And, uh, she knows it’s such a great dog because she and, and, uh, J- Judy? No, Lori. She, she- her name’s Lori. She and- 

Craig: Her name is… 

 Todd: Whoever the other girl The other girl. 

Craig: I don’t 

 Todd: know the, yeah The other girl is… I don’t even know her name. They stop to, like, get something from a supermarket and immediately get held up by a switchblade in true ’80s fashion in the parking lot there by a guy with a bandana around his head and threatening them, and of course, the dog chases it away and brings her purse back, which shows her, “Wow, this dog is really smart.

I mean, he’s not just helpful, he’s super smart.” 

Craig: Right? 

 Todd: And we get a r- a lot of scenes to follow are going to show us just how smart the dog is. 

Craig: Mm-hmm. 

 Todd: But in the meantime, our doctor has gone to the police and told him about the, that this dog is missing, and this is going to be a big problem. And they’re not too…

They don’t really care that much about it. 

Clip: I want Max back. We’re not talking about a street mutt here We are talking about a million dollar research animal. Well, for that kind of money, he should be able to find his own way home. 

 Todd: He explains to them that this dog is cut together from the coolest parts of the DNA of all these exotic animals.

So it has the speed of that cheetah, it has the strength of that bear, it has the climbing ability of some other animal like lep- what- do leopards climb? I guess that was what that was. 

Craig: I think so. 

 Todd: And even, even the camouflaging capabilities of a chameleon. 

Craig: Yes. Which is hilarious, 

 Todd: and I love it. Oh my God, it’s so hilarious.

That’s how you know this movie is not taking itself seriously. 

Craig: That’s right. Mm-hmm. But before we find all that out, we have to have a 20-minute Beethoven moment- Yeah … where- 

 Todd: Yeah … 

Craig: she loves the dog, but her kind of butthole boyfriend, Perry, isn’t really into dogs, and he definitely doesn’t like Max. And, and Max is attached to her, and he doesn’t like it when Perry’s humping on his woman, and- 

 Todd: Oh my God.

W- when he looks through the keyhole and sees them humping in there, you get this close-up on the dog’s eye, and then the dog, like, pupil dilates really big. Like, it’s shocked 

Craig: And then the lighting changes. Did you notice that? Uh-huh. Like, he’s looking through… Yeah, that was awe- I thought that was really cool.

It was smart. He’s looking through the keyhole, and he kinda sees them in the dark, and then it cuts back to his eye, and his pupil dilates? That’s right- Mm-hmm … when it gets bigger. And then when he looks back in, it’s much brighter, and he can see what’s going on. Oh. I thought that was really clever. 

 Todd: It’s clever.

It’s such a weird, cute little detail to, to put in there. 

Craig: Yeah, and even before he does the explanation, uh, Jarrett tells one cop, he’s like, “Max, I’ve got Max on this drug that keeps him calm, but eventually he’s gonna snap. We’re not talking about man’s best friend here.”

And then there are these funny bits- 

 Todd: Yeah … 

Craig: where, like, the paper boy accidentally hits Max on the head with the paper, and then Max chases him down the street and destroys his bike, but gets called back for breakfast, so he doesn’t attack the kid. And then- … the cute little roller-skating neighbor, Rudy, just pops in and out of their house every once in a while.

 Todd: Uh-huh. 

Craig: It, it’s, it’s so, like, ’80s sitcom. It really is. It’s, it’s insane. Like, this little neighbor boy just pops in and out of their house. Like, he doesn’t knock or anything. And at first I’m like, “Well, maybe he’s friends with their kid.” No, they don’t have kids. 

 Todd: No. So, like… He just hangs out. 

Craig: God, and eats their food and stuff.

It’s so weird. And he’s like- I was very confused 

 Todd: by that at first. Yeah, I was like, “Wait, do they have a kid?” 

Craig: Oh, gosh. I don’t know, it felt intentional. Like, it felt like it was intentionally… You know, that’s such a sitcom- 

 Todd: It 

Craig: is … like, ’80s sitcom-type trope. 

 Todd: It is, 100%. 

Craig: It’s the Steve Urkel. It’s, you know, the whoever, the, the, the quirky neighbor kid that just pops over every once in a while.

Oh, 

 Todd: God, even the title of this movie, Man’s Best Friend, sounds like the title of an ’80s sitcom. 

Craig: Oh, it does, 100%. Oh, gosh. Yeah, and, and the cute… So he, he likes Rudy, the cute neighbor likes Max, and he’s like, “Can I take him to my house to meet my dog?” And she’s like, “Sure, kid on roller skates. Take this 200-pound dog on a leash.”

 Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Sounds like a great idea. 

 Todd: By the way, I love the dialogue between these two kids as they’re walking down the street. It’s so cute. One, one kid says to the other, he says, “Boy, did my brother cut one this morning. Blasted me right out of the kitchen.” The other kid says, “Yeah, sounds like it was a real nuclear winter in there.”

Craig: I laughed out loud at that too. I didn’t write it down. I’m glad you wrote it down. I forgot about it, but God, I laughed out loud. That was so funny. Oh 

 Todd: my God. 

Craig: Gosh, yeah. 

 Todd: There’s a cat that apparently bites 

Craig: them a lot. Well, hold on, hold on, hold on. Are we not there yet? We have to… He– Well, first Max helps Bob Shay fix a car.

 Todd: Yes. 

Craig: Bob Shay’s like, Bob Shay’s under the car like… It- Max goes up to him, he’s like, “Hey buddy, can you help me fix the car?” And he’s like, “Why don’t you grab me that brake line over there?” And Max goes and grabs the brake line and hands it to him, and then he and the kid just walk off. And I have in my notes, like this feels like a family movie.

Yeah. This is a cute family movie up until this point. 

 Todd: It is, 100%, up until- 

Craig: And then it starts- 

 Todd: This point … 

Craig: up until this… And, and, and he tries to, the kid tries to introduce him to his dog. I don’t remember what its name was. Uh, it’s a collie. It’s a girl. But the collie is not… It’s a girl and it is not interested, and it does not want anything to do with them and it runs inside.

That’s when we get the explanation of him being a generic crossbreed and how he can climb and camouflage and stuff. And then the two boys who have Max on a leash come across this cat. 

 Todd: And they’re talking… The, one thing he also says I think is that Max like knows language, like he knows several languages or something like that.

Yeah. The cops are even like, “Well, how many?” And he won’t even… He’s like, “I don’t know, like five or six.” So he understands when the boys are talking apparently about how this cat kinda terrorizes them in the neighborhood and always bites them or always hisses at them or something like that. So Max picks up on that and immediately starts tearing off for this, after this cat.

And the boys are- 

Craig: Well, the boys, the boys are funny ’cause they’re like, “I hate that cat.” And they kinda look at each other. And then the one who’s holding him says, “Sic him, Max.” 

 Todd: Uh-huh. And th- and Max runs after him and they’re like yelling after it, “Kick his ass. Kick his ass”

Oh. So Max chases the cat, gets to a tree, and this, I was like, “The cat’s gonna run up a tree, right?” ‘Cause we know now that Max- Right … can ru- can climb trees. And sure, he does. Yeah. So Max climbs up the tree after this cat, and they’re like, “Oh my God,” and i- this is terrifying for this cat. I really like how this scene was filmed.

It, it really w- had a lot of tension and stuff in it. And then it cuts to the boys, and they’re looking up at him with horror. And when it cuts back to Max, he has half swallowed this cat whole. And again, in a scene right out of The Uninvited, we see it swallow this cat whole. Uh-huh. B- b- but let’s… Literally like, like a bird swallows a fish.

Like a pelican. 

Craig: Uh-huh. 

 Todd: It tips his head way back and the cat is just sliding down his throat. It is so funny and disturbing at the same time. 

Craig: It’s really funny because right up until that shot where you see the cat in its mouth- … it still feels like a family movie. It does. Like, “Oh, that rascally Beethoven chasing a cat again.”

 Todd: “What’s gonna happen to the cat? How’s he gonna get away?” Yeah. And then you’re like, “Holy shit.” Right. 

Craig: And don’t worry, folks, that cat and that dog were raised together. They – 

 Todd: That’s right. They were egged on with food, given rewards- Yes … after the each performance. 

Craig: You know, that, that was a fake dog head that they had trained the cat to walk through, and then the trainer just pulled it backwards- Mm-hmm

to make it look like it was g- It was all on the up and up, we swear to God. 

 Todd: Gave it treats afterwards, don’t worry. Right. 

Craig: Those were very well cared for, right. And the kids are horrified and run away, which still was comic and hilarious. 

 Todd: Uh-huh. 

Craig: And then the dog goes back to watch M- Lori and Perry make out again for a little while.

And, and then- 

 Todd: Oh my 

Craig: God … and this is my favorite part, my favorite part. The dog cuts Perry’s brakes.

Oh, man. Oh. It’s hilarious. And Perry almost crashes his car. 

 Todd: Into- The movie- … straight into the, the, the gas tank of a semi that’s c- across the road. 

Craig: That’s the other thing that almost makes this movie a family movie, is that it does pull its punches. 

 Todd: Mm-hmm. At times. 

Craig: Perry could have, and I might argue should have, died here.

 Todd: Uh-huh. 

Craig: But it’s also, you know, you think about those movies like Beethoven or any other of those rascally kid or rascally… You know, w- the mischief that they cause often does put their dad or Mr. Wilson or whomever in serious peril. Yeah. Like, I mean, you think about Home Alone. Like, those guys would be dead 100 times over.

 Todd: Oh yeah, of course, yeah. It’s, it’s 

Craig: g- So something like this where the dog cuts the brake line, but then the dad escapes at the last minute, that s- they could almost pull that off in a family comedy. 

 Todd: Yeah, of course. 

Craig: It’s just such a weird balance. Mm-hmm. I don’t know. And it does, it does eventually get scary, but not until after…

Oh, there’s a very cute scene between Max when Lori has to go to work, and he’s, like, begging to go and super sweet. But Max instead runs over to the collie’s house. 

 Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: And they’re playing, as he’s running over there, they’re playing that song from the ’50s, like- 

 Todd: Pup, and they call it puppy love. I was like- Right

oh my God. Oh. 

Craig: And it seems cute, and it’s like a cute dog moment, except the other dog is terrified of him and, like, trying to hide. 

 Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And then it’s basically implied that Max rapes her. 

 Todd: I know. It, well- 

Craig: It’s, it’s not cute. 

 Todd: It is the animal world. I think this is sort of how animals usually- I get it

reproduce, but you’re right. It’s, again, it’s very incongruent. Like you said, you got this cute puppy love song playing over it, and it, they’re trying to make it be this cute comical thing. But no, she doesn’t want it, and then you get a shot of the neighbor who perks her ears up and turns as she hears Laurie howling- 

Craig: Yeah

 Todd: through the neighborhood. The, 

Craig: the dog howling, right. 

 Todd: I’m sorry. Did I say Laurie? She hears- Yeah … the dog, uh, the collie howling- Yeah … throughout the neighborhood, and I was like- It’s 

Craig: horrible … “

 Todd: Ew, that’s kinda gross.” 

Craig: It was kinda gross. 

 Todd: Ugh, it was dark. 

Craig: Oh. Anyway. And then there’s, you know, there’s other stuff like Perry immediately knows as soon as he finds out that his brakes were cut that Max must be trying to kill him, which seems like kind of a leap, but all right.

 Todd: Mm. 

Craig: Max, after having had his way with that dog, pees on a fire hydrant, and we see that he pees acid. 

 Todd: Oh my God. 

Craig: What? What? Oh 

 Todd: my God. 

Craig: What genetic, like, what a- what- 

 Todd: Do they have, like, a xenomorph in one of those cages? 

Craig: Right, right. Gosh. 

 Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah, and, and eventually they find the mangled mugger, and so they, Jarrett knows it’s Max.

The cops knows it’s Max. Jarrett’s talking computer tells him he has, like, five hours at most- … before Max totally snaps, but he may have already snapped already. 

 Todd: I love his talking computer, by the way. It’s got that girl’s face on it that’s like a little video of a, of a woman talking, and five years ago we would have laughed at this stupid ’90s, ’80s portrayal of a computer, and now it’s like, oh yeah, so that’s his AI computer.

That’s his ChatGPT. Yeah, it’s not 

Craig: really far off, 

 Todd: right? No, it’s not far off at all. It’s, uh, basically normal. So weird. 

Craig: There’s a, an obligatory scene where Max chases a mailman and, and that whole thing is scored as though it is a comic scene until he catches the mailman and kills him. 

 Todd: Yeah, right to the neck.

Now it cuts away just as he’s biting down, but there’s a blood spray, and we know the mailman’s dead. In fact, we 

Craig: later, we see him- Yeah, we later see him burying him under the porch. 

 Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: They do finally find that dropped tape, so they can track the dog to Laurie, but Laurie escape- Like, Jarrett tries to find her at the TV station where she works, but she sees him, and so she runs away, and she’s gotta hide Max.

 Todd: Now- Let’s just talk for a second about how dumb this plot point is. Lori is putting together a news package on this whole thing. 

Craig: Yeah. 

 Todd: So whether or not they find that dropped tape, w- in six hours or so, that’s gonna go live on the air and everyone’s gonna know she was the one in that facility. 

Craig: Right. 

 Todd: And everyone’s gonna know who she was.

So, like, that was a silly plot point there, I thought. 

Craig: That’s true. 

 Todd: Mm. 

Craig: Yeah, it is. I mean, I mean, I, I g- I get that she’s a reporter, but you still can’t break into private facilities- Yeah … so you’re gonna be in trouble either way and whatever. 

 Todd: Mm. 

Craig: But you know, Perry, Perry tries to poison Max, but Max smells the poison and attacks and barely gets away, but in his frustration Max kills the bird, which I thought was kinda funny.

 Todd: That was funny. Like a human, right? “Oh, I’m pissed. I gotta take it out on someone.” 

Craig: And then Max flushes the poisoned meat down the toilet, which I- Okay, but why? Like, was he afraid somebody else might eat it? I, I don’t know. Lori comes and gets Max, and we find out that Jared is a mad scientist from the police who I guess just now are kind of looking into his history and find out that he’s been exiled from the scientific community, and he’s doing all of this on his own.

Lori gives Max to this guy named Ray at the junkyard. Mm-hmm. Now, how does she know… I, I guess she said she didn’t really know anybody who was looking for a dog, or they would, you know, it couldn’t be anybody who was connected to her because then they would find him or whatever. And her friend was like, “Well, look in the newspaper.”

So I guess she found this guy in the newspaper. 

 Todd: I guess so. Uh, he must have advertised he needed a junkyard dog. 

Craig: He, he works in a junkyard, and he is creepy as heck. And she’s like, “Well, you’ll treat him right, right?” And he’s like, “Oh, yeah, of course. I’ve got this big ranch where he can run and chase rabbits, and he’ll have the happiest life ever.”

And I’m like, “Are you daft?” Like, this guy is bad, and he works in a junkyard. Like- … he wants a junkyard dog, you idiot. Yeah. So but she tells Max a very sweet goodbye and promises that she’ll be back for him. And as she drives away, Max is pulling on the leash and barking and trying to go with her, and Ray hits him over the head with a shovel.

That was one of the most brutal shots of the whole movie, I thought. Dang. It really 

 Todd: was, yeah. God. 

Craig: It looked really real. It wasn’t. 

 Todd: It wasn’t. 

Craig: You can read about how they did it. 

 Todd: It’s okay, guys. Go to IMDb- … open up the trivia. Everything is fine. 

Craig: But it looks wild. 

 Todd: It does. I, I don’t know. You know what? Th- here’s the deal, if Max can pee acid and camouflage himself, he shouldn’t be in any of these scrapes.

Like, he should be able to get out of any of this shit anytime he wants, but he finds himself chained up in the junkyard and, uh, barking and screaming. And so R- once again, this Ray guy, who is blowtorching something, decides to, to, to approach him with his blowtorch. Max breaks free of his chain and jumps on and attacks him, ends up killing Ray, but not before Ray blasts him in the face, uh, with the blowtorch.

Craig: Yeah. 

 Todd: And he’s disfigured from this for the rest of the, of the movie. One of his eyes is all white and cloudy. 

Craig: Sh- yeah, which looks awful, and I mean, that’s ter- I, I hate to see animals in pain. Even in this context I don’t like to see it. 

 Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Again, it was all very carefully done. 

 Todd: Don’t worry, those contacts were only in for two minutes tops.

Craig: Yeah. Mm-hmm. He does have, yeah, he does have, like, foggy eye for a while that they use contacts. Like, yeah As I was watching it and as I was reading that, I was like, “I can’t imagine putting contacts in a dog.” And then I was thinking, “Yes, I can. Yes, I can actually,” because when dogs trust you, they kind of trust you e- explicitly.

Like you- Hmm … you can touch them anywhere, as long as you’re not causing them physical pain, and I totally believe I could put a contact in my dog’s eye, ’cause he knows I’m not gonna hurt him. 

 Todd: Hmm. 

Craig: Anyway, thank you for coming to our TED 

 Todd: Talk. I was waiting for you to say, “You can even grab them by the pussy.

They don’t even care.” 

Craig: Oh, boy. 

 Todd: Ah. 

Craig: Nah. But yeah, so now he’s all messed up. This would also be a good time to mention that this is not a cyborg dog. 

 Todd: No, 

Craig: it’s not a cyborg. As is depicted on the, uh, the box art at all. There, there’s nothing cyborg about him. It’s just a, you know, a biologically enhanced- 

 Todd: Yeah … 

Craig: dog.

Oh, gosh. Okay. And, and then Max bites Ray the Welder’s dick off. 

 Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Um- That 

 Todd: was gross … 

Craig: and then Jarrett finds out where Annie lives from her assistant, and then we go back to Lori’s house, where Perry has gotten her a new puppy. 

 Todd: Mm. 

Craig: And Lori takes to this puppy too quickly. I mean, I guess that she had only had Max for a few, a couple of days, but still, like, she’s like, “Oh, well, Max, I’ve got a new puppy.”

And of course, Max is watching all of this through the window. 

 Todd: Hmm. 

Craig: So he scales the house- … okay, and goes in a window, and then Rudy comes over, ’cause why not? 

 Todd: Well, everybody comes over real quickly. 

Craig: So, right. So everybody’s in the house, right? Everybody’s in the house. So Max attacks Perry in the bedroom, which looks really good.

Like, he- 

 Todd: Hmm … 

Craig: jumps on him and pushes him through a, a, a door that has a, a mirror on it, and so there’s glass flying everywhere, and he, and he drags him out by his feet- And then pisses acid on his face. I can’t believe you don’t like this movie. Like, it’s so, it’s so stupid. It is so stupid. Like, over the top stupid.

It is. And I just thought it was so funny. Uh-huh. When he dragged him out and then the guy’s laying there, like, looking around, and the next shot you see is just from behind the dog raising his leg- … and the guy, like, screaming and the piss, the acid piss going on his face. That’s some classic shit right there.

That’s fantastic. 

 Todd: That’s classic. 

Craig: Oh my God. 

 Todd: Yeah. I mean, it’s something. 

Craig: And then, and then the, and then the cops surround the house and- 

 Todd: Mm-hmm. Oh, everybody’s there now … Bug escapes. Yeah. The cops are there, the, the detectives are there. The dog catchers are there. The dog catchers hear something on the radio and say, “Oh, we need to get in on that.”

And the d- the mad scientist is there. They’re all there, all at once. Yeah. 

Craig: And it’s a huge chase and, like, Max is like l- you know, running from the cop cars and it’s like the chase in ET and, like, When the cop cars come together, Max leaps over all the cop cars and they crash into each other. And then the dog catchers, like, corner him in a- A 

 Todd: shed

Craig: a garage. 

 Todd: Oh, this was my favorite part. This is when you know it’s just a riot. They’re, they’re looking and they think they hear something, and then it’s just close-up on their faces as they get really, really close to, like, the corner of the room, and suddenly Max, like, materializes like he’s Predator. He just- Yeah

like, this is how his camouflage apparently works, through space and time. Then and suddenly materializes right in their faces and leaps after them and, and they run out. It’s, it’s so funny. 

Craig: I know. I was really glad we got that moment. I wish they could have done more with it- Well, yeah … but I imagine that- I imagine that the, I mean, I thought it looked great in that moment.

I just thought that the camouflage feature was so cool. 

 Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: I wish it could’ve been used more, but anyway. I 

 Todd: mean, if this were real life, that dog would’ve used that camouflage feature, feature pretty much exclusively for most of his life. 

Craig: Yeah, sure. 

 Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah, why not? 

 Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: Perry gets taken off to the hospital and for some reason they, they think Laurie should just stay at home by herself- Mm

and they’ll just kinda watch the house. Mm-hmm. Well, it doesn’t work because Max kills both of the cops, and Jarrett arrives just in time to throw Laurie in the car. Now, for the rest of this movie, which there’s probably still a good 10 minutes left, Laurie is holding this dog under one arm, and none of the trivia said anything about that dog.

And I was a little worried about him sometimes because she was just flopping him around. 

 Todd: Good point. 

Craig: There’s, there’s one point where she’s running and she, like, runs into a doorframe, and the little dog just, like, flops. 

 Todd: I 

Craig: don’t know. Maybe it was a 

 Todd: fake dog. I don’t know, Craig. Probably. Don’t worry, it was a stuffed dog.

I’m sure it was fine. I’m- They swapped it out just before the scene. You don’t even see it hit the door. 

Craig: I’m sure it was fine. They take off in the car and Max chases them, but w- it, during the pursuit, Laurie and Jarrett have an ethical debate about animal testing. Oh my God Which I thought was hilarious.

It was a 

 Todd: funny moment to be having this, this- 

Craig: Oh my God … yeah. It was so funny. But anyway, Max jumps on the roof of the car and, and, and then on the hood, and he’s barking at them through the hood, and he breaks through the windshield- Oh my God. … and then grabs Jarrett’s gun 

 Todd: It is really ridiculous. This scene is so ridic- it, basically this dog is doing what, like, a, I don’t know, like, like a Marvel character would do.

A predator. Yeah, a predator. There you go. Exactly, in a movie. 

Craig: Or a Terminator or 

 Todd: something. This car speeding through this tunnel, and it’s leaped on the top, and it’s climbed over the hood and punched its way through the window, grabbed the gun out from this guy. It’s 

Craig: hilarious. 

 Todd: Oh, it is funny. And, and causes him to, uh, lose control of the car.

But thankfully they’re right at the Emax building- 

Craig: Uh-huh … 

 Todd: by that point, and the car flies into the building upside down in an accident that nobody should have survived. 

Craig: Oh, no. 

 Todd: Or, and but, you know, m- as in these movies always are, they crawl out, kinda dust themselves off, and then get to chasing and running at each other for the rest of it.

Max goes in, Laurie’s going and looking for him. Suddenly all of the animals that were in cages are mysteriously gone. 

Craig: Well, they’re not mysteriously gone because Jarrett cleared out… I, I think that he figured out that the cops were onto him- Oh … and he told all of his assistants to clear out the lab. Was 

 Todd: that a thing- Um

or is that your… I didn’t remember that part. 

Craig: No, it happened. 

 Todd: Oh, okay. 

Craig: Yeah, it happened ’cause, ’cause the cops came and talked to that lady at the lab, and she’s like, “Yeah, he left. He told us to clear out the lab.” 

 Todd: Well, that’s helpful ’cause it makes this scene a lot less expensive to shoot really. 

Craig: Right. Mm-hmm.

Well, and, and at this point Laurie’s actually not looking for Max. Max is looking for her. Right. I think that he’s- Kind of- … pissed because she’s coddling this other dog. Mm-hmm. And so he’s, he’s stalking her around the lab like a xenomorph or something. 

 Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: Um, and at this point it feels very much like an action thriller or like a sci-fi thriller because she’s, like, crawling around in these kinda confined spaces, and there’s electricity popping in places, and she’s bloodied from the, the wreck and, and Max is…

You know, you’re just kind of seeing him run by really fast in shadows and stuff. And eventually she picks up a knife and he follows her and eventually they kind of come face to face but through a cage. 

 Todd: Mm. 

Craig: And he sits there and growls at her for a while but he doesn’t move and eventually she puts down the knife and he stops barking at her and instead starts whimpering and goes to her and like goes to her for comfort and she comforts him.

But then Jarrett blasts in with the shotgun- 

 Todd: Mm-hmm … 

Craig: um, and says, “Get away from my dog.” And Laurie tries to protect him and Max trying to protect Laurie attacks Jarrett but in doing so gets shot with a shotgun but still manages to push Jarrett backwards out through a window where he lands on a generator and then the puppy electrocutes him.

Todd! The pup 

 Todd: I know. How … Did this puppy also undergo genetic testing or something? It, it knows r- 

Craig: No, it just likes to play with electrical cords. It 

 Todd: knows exactly which cord to go to at exactly the right moment. It just pushes it into place and this electrocutes the guy. 

Craig: The puppy electrocutes him. 

 Todd: Oh, it’s so dumb.

Craig: Oh, God. I swear, like it had already been 10 minutes before this that I was like, “I love this movie.” I love this movie. 

 Todd: It … You’re right. You know, if you don’t take this at face value, and the movie really presents itself pretty straight I think in, in many ways. Like, like this whole sequence like you said is very seriously like a

Yeah, like the end of Aliens or something like that. And so it’s a little jarring to then have this dog go in and be the one to push the thing in place and electrocute this guy. You’re like, “Oh, wait. No, this isn’t, this isn’t a serious movie.” Oh, my God. It’s so funny. Yeah. 

Craig: W- and I, I was … I wasn’t moved to tears or anything but I was moved when Laurie crawls to comfort the dying Max and, and, and Max does die.

And I just wanna make it very clear that Max is the victim in this movie. 

 Todd: Of course. 

Craig: He didn’t ask for any of this. 

 Todd: Nope. 

Craig: And, uh- 

 Todd: Yeah … 

Craig: he was a good boy.

 Todd: Oh my God. 

Craig: Uh, but, but he dies. And, uh, then it cuts to three months later, and Lori is walking Spike- 

 Todd: I saw this coming a mile away. I saw this coming the minute Max- 

Craig: Oh, obviously … yeah, 

 Todd: the minute that scene- 

Craig: Of course. Yeah. Of course. And Rudy comes out of his house, “Hey, come here, I gotta show you something.”

And they go in, uh, to find a basket full of these great big collie-mix puppies. And it pans across all the puppies, and the last one it shows looks like and is colored like Max, and it looks grumpy, and it growls. The end. I thought this movie was fantastic. I ca- I, I think it… You’ve gotta watch it, friends out there.

You’ve gotta watch this movie. It’s hilarious. 

 Todd: I think most people will enjoy this movie. I wasn’t in the mood for it, but I think most people would enjoy it. Yeah, 

Craig: it- It’s stupid, don’t get me wrong. But like, it… stupid in a really funny way that I just… It made me smile, it made me laugh, and it’s well done.

Like- Well, 

 Todd: it’s very well done … 

Craig: it’s well shot. The effects are good. There are some big action pieces. There’s cool practical effects. The acting is good. I love Ally Sheedy. The other actors are great. Cinematography looks good. It, it, most of it is bright daylight. 

 Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Great dog actor. Super cute dog. Yeah, I, uh…

It’s not… Like, come on, guys. It’s not a masterpiece, obviously. It’s just a… It’s just fun. 

 Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: I had so much fun watching it. 

 Todd: Mm, I can see that. I, uh, I wasn’t totally in the mood, but you know, I, I think it was just a lot more stupid than I expected it to be, and I was maybe a little disappointed by that I c- I think.

Craig: Fair. 

 Todd: But if you go in with the spirit of, yeah, this is a, A more of a comedy than anything else. It’s dark comedy I guess you could call it. Then, uh, you’ll probably… You’ll be in with the right, the right frame of mind, and you’ll probably have a lot of laughs at it. I was rolling my eyes so much throughout it all, and I wasn’t in the mood to see a Beethoven-type movie.

I’ve never really liked those kind of movies. I’ve always found them really trite and silly, and once you’ve seen one, you’ve kinda seen them all, so what’s the point? And I think that’s why my brain was kinda half tuning out through most of it. But you know, to each his own. I agree with you on all, all those counts.

It’s very well made, well acted. It’s, it’s over the top silly and fun and And, uh, it’s gonna appeal to a lot of people. Just, uh, don’t mistake this for a nice family film and show your- Yeah … toddlers this. They’re, they’re gonna be terrified by the end of it. 

Craig: Yeah, but if you do have a kid who… Like, I think that this could be gateway horror.

 Todd: It could be, yeah. 

Craig: Um, it’s, it’s silly enough. I mean, it’s pretty violent. 

 Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Like, to some extent, I guess. 

 Todd: An older kid. Yeah, I, I don’t know if I would show this to my son just because of the violence. And, you know, it’s not like you see the dog bite this guy’s dick, but you see it almost bite his dick, and then there’s blood spraying on his face.

You know, that’s- Yeah … your br- your brain fills in the details and, and kids are really good at that. 

Craig: I would’ve loved this as a kid. 

 Todd: Oh, yeah. 

Craig: This reminds me of something like Critters, where yeah, there’s, there’s gore and stuff, but it’s funny. 

 Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: So it’s, it’s a little bit less… It seems silly and, and a little bit less threatening for whatever reason, but- 

 Todd: Maybe

Craig: uh, a- a- again, you know, as we always say, everybody has to make that judgment for their own kids, but I would’ve loved it as a kid, I think. I 

 Todd: think I probably would’ve too. Well, thank you guys so much for listening to another episode. If you enjoyed it, please share it with a friend. You can find us online, chainsawhorror.com.

You can find our Patreon, patreon.com/chainsawpodcast. For just five bucks a month, you can get access to our complete unedited episodes, uh, with just our full phone call conversations, join our book club, and all that kind of fun stuff behind there. Patreon.com/chainsawpodcast. We love your support no matter how it comes, whether it comes in the money form or even, uh, you just send us a message giving us a request saying how much you enjoy the show or writing a review.

Please, if you haven’t done so yet and you like the show, please go to Apple Podcasts or some place where you can write a review and just let the rest of the world, uh, know about us. Spreading the word is one of the best things you can do, uh, to keep us going. Until next time, I’m Todd. And I’m 

Craig: Craig. 

 Todd: With Two Guys and a Chainsaw.