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We wrap up Werewolf Month with a listener suggestion. 2015’s Howl is kind of like a Train To Busan, but with werewolves in the dead of night in the English countryside. A solid film to end a solid four-week overview of the werewolf genre. Hope you’ve enjoyed Werewolf month, sponsored by Manscaped!

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Howl (2015)

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Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: and I’m Craig.

Todd: Well, here we go. Wrapping up werewolf month sponsored by Manscaped.

Craig: Thank you, Manscaped.

Todd: It was actually recently that I realized that our month would go on for five weeks instead of four. So we had done our four episodes.

Then, we had some room to take a request. I believe on Facebook, one of our listeners recommended we check out this 2015 British film called Howl. I’d never heard of it, and uh, I thought, oh, well, let’s give it a try. But yeah, had never heard of it before, but it is directed by Paul Hyatt, who was, did, uh, makeup effects on Dog Soldiers.

Uh, and worked closely with the director there, so I guess he decided, uh, eventually he needed to make his own werewolf movie, and he did the makeup effects for this one as well, so, how about you, Craig? 

Craig: No, I had never seen it before. I’m kinda surprised, I’m, I’m not sure why. You know, the cover art is interesting enough, and it’s It’s pretty good.

Like I put on a lot of movies and turn them off in the first five minutes. No, I can already tell this is going to be bad. I wouldn’t have turned this one off. It’s interesting. It looks good, but no, I didn’t know anything about it. So you already mentioned the director was involved in dog soldiers. He also did the makeup for the descent and the lead it.

from the descent is the female lead in this movie. Like there’s all kinds of connections, like these crossover, um, which I didn’t know until, you know, I did some research or whatever, but it was interesting. I’m always interested to see how these things. Um, because it is an industry and people’s paths cross.

And when you find people that you like working with, you find ways to work with them again. And, uh, this is an interesting example of, uh, that, and the stuff that I was reading about it, like reviews were like, well, it’s pretty good for low budget. Well, I mean, I don’t know how low budget it was, but it didn’t feel cheap.

I thought it was pretty good. 

Todd: I wouldn’t have looked at this movie and said, Oh, this is definitely a low budget film, but. But, you know, nowadays, a low budget can get you pretty far. You know, I mean, a low budget back in the day, you know, you get like cheap looking effects, it’s kind of garbage, uh, you know, nobody could afford CGI if they wanted to do something fancy.

Uh, nowadays, you know, I can, I can practically do passable CGI on my laptop. True. True. The, the standards, and, and with, um, video cameras. Being the primary way that people film nowadays, you know, a lot of the original expense of a film that would go into just the film stock itself is gone. So, well, you know, you can spend that money on other things, and so as long as you’re not trying to hire big name actors and use far flung locations, I suppose you can get pretty bu You can get pretty far, even in 2015, I think.

Uh, with a quote unquote, low budget. So, well, 

Craig: yeah, and this movie’s smart. Like it’s obviously shot on sets, I would guess. And, and the sets are small and very minimal. The outdoor shots, I couldn’t tell what was going on. I loved the look of it because it looked very like spooky Halloween, like dark forest on a, you know, with a fire.

Full moon, you know, making kind of that eerie light and atmosphere. I couldn’t tell how much of that was set or if it was near the end when they’re running through the forest. I felt there was a lot of day for night there. Surely was. Yeah, but I couldn’t tell, it could have been like a matte painting for all I could tell, but I liked the look of it, but I can see where they, you know, saved a little bit here and there.

Todd: Yeah. You’re right, like, the exterior scenes seemed kind of, um, I don’t want to say fake in a disparaging way, but they just seemed, like you said, otherworldly and unreal, which, which, you know, it worked for the movie. Having this sort of unreal atmosphere works, I think, for the movie, because It’s all about isolation.

It’s sort of like these people on this road. It almost doesn’t work any other way because ultimately the movie’s about this, um, very short train car that, uh, is, you know, traveling the Red Eye in England and ends up stranded out in the middle of their route. And immediately I was thinking, okay, like, They can’t be that stranded, you know, like this is like a regular, I mean, I’ve been to England, I’ve been to London.

I mean, yeah, you know, you can, you travel through the countryside. Maybe there’s nothing else there, but you’re in constant communication. There are other trains that are eventually going to come down that line. Maybe not at 1 AM, but who knows? You know, like I just thought. They can’t be that isolated. So I think maybe visually it helped to just say, you know what?

This is kind of an unreal situation, maybe in a way they’re in another world, you know, not literally, but that’s just what it feels like. Because then you’ve got to like sort out, does this happen all the time? I mean, if they’re werewolves out here in the woods, like, are they regularly attacking dream cars?

Like, you know, no, I think it’s coincidence. 

Craig: I don’t think, I don’t think that those werewolves. Threw a deer in front of the train. To sabotage it. Right. Um, I think the train just happened and, and they do, they do say at some point, we can’t be more than a couple of miles from the train station. Right. And they get out and start to walk, but there are werewolves, so they have to go back to the train.

But, but yeah, I mean, you, a couple of miles is isolated. Like if you’re in the woods, true. Uh, but I don’t know, I guess we’ve kind of gotten ahead of ourselves, but that’s what, what’s this movie is. It’s werewolves on a train immediately. When I saw that we were following this guy, Joe, who works for the train company, and, I don’t know, I feel like he’s supposed to be kind of a What is his problem?

Why is he so, like, downtrodden? I don’t get it. He’s 

Todd: kind of a loser, honestly. He feels like, just like I don’t know what’s going on in that guy’s head. I was actually compelled by it. I thought, okay, well I can see where this character arc is going. Well, right! 

Craig: But he’s like, he’s a good looking guy, and I just don’t buy that everybody is Picking on him and the women like only pity him and aren’t interested.

I mean, well, what’s wrong with him? Like he seems like a nice young, handsome guy. 

Todd: Yeah, but he’s not all he’s not uber friendly. He kind of has a weird kind of quietness about him. And not that that’s bad, but it’s just like, I don’t know what I thought. I did feel like this guy’s a little off somehow. I’m not sure why.

I’m not sure what his problem is. Maybe he’s like depressed. Maybe he’s. Just one of these guys who doesn’t really get people and how to interact with them But I bought this this guy, you know, I bought the character 

Craig: I did eventually because as you already indicated like it’s obvious that this is the hero arc like oh Here’s this loser who is gonna step up and become the hero of the movie and he spoiler alert.

He does Sort of. Sort of. Uh, but when I saw him like, you know, getting kind of bullied into taking this red eye, uh, this last run or whatever after he just finished a full shift and the, the supervisor has given him crap about not enforcing, uh, like ticket fees and stuff, which whatever, who cares? It’s boring.

It’s all just to establish that he’s a loser, basically, when I saw that and when I saw that it was going to be on. A train and that they were introducing all of these different passengers. I’m like, oh it’s train to busan. Yeah, except with werewolves Yeah It really is and it’s it’s not that good 

Todd: Let’s clarify that right away, it’s not train busan and it’s quality Honestly my ultimate feeling let’s just put it on the table is this movie is okay It’s not bad.

It’s not great. I can’t say I will watch it again, but I was just ticking the boxes. I’m like, oh, okay, uh, loser guy. Um, is going to be stuck in a situation where he needs to prove himself and become the hero. Alright, check. Douchebag passenger who ultimately is going to sacrifice other people to stay alive and will meet his end.

Check. Cute elderly couple, something sad and tragic is going to happen between the two of them. Check. Surely somebody’s going to get bitten early on and uh, then they’re going to be, you know, turned in the middle just when everybody thinks everything is uh, fine. Safe. Check. I mean, girl who initially is not interested in the loser guy, suddenly, you know, they have to come together and have some relationship.

I mean, as I’m watching the movie, and as I see these characters introduced, I just ticked those boxes off. I’m like, I know exactly where this is going, I really hope this movie proves me wrong and surprises me. And it doesn’t at all! It’s like carbon copy. Of maybe six or seven other, usually they’re zombie movies, honestly.

It’s werewolves, you know, interchanged for zombies in this very, very similar situation. 

Craig: And that’s it folks. Thanks for tuning in to Two Guys in a Chainsaw. It sounds like maybe 

Todd: you liked it a little more than I did though. 

Craig: I did. I actually enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I didn’t think it was great, but I actually, even though they were totally stock, I liked the characters.

I liked the loser guy, I liked the girl who was not interested in him at all, and then because he gets brave or whatever, they kind of, I don’t know, they kiss, I guess, at the end. The old folks were cute, I thought that the young guy hero, again, a total trope from Train to Busan 2, you know, there’s this one young guy who’s gonna be really heroic.

I liked him, Billy, whatever his name is. Um, it was very cliched, but it moved? I felt like it, I don’t know, I mean, I’ve got a whole page and a half of 

Todd: notes. Well, once it started going, it moved. I mean, like, like we said, you know, he starts out and he’s very schlubby and he’s getting forced to take this midnight train.

And he’s also lost his, um, promotion. He was, he was going for supervisor and, uh, and he didn’t get that. So he’s a little bitter about that. You could tell that when he gets on the train, he’s sort of like, What is my life about? You know, you just see it in his face. And I liked the aspect that we got introduced to all of these other characters on the train quite quickly.

Because he’s going through and checking tickets. 

Craig: But that part worried me because that’s what I didn’t consider was that that was at the beginning of the route. So there were so many people like, and they were all so rude to him. And I guess, you know, maybe that’s true just of service, you know, workers.

Like, I don’t know. I hope I’m not rude like that to people. I try not to be, but whatever. He’s just checking their tickets or whatever, but we’re meeting all a bunch, a ton of people. And I was like, Oh no. There’s no way I’m going to be great, but then once he meets everybody, he goes back and I don’t know, he locks himself in some room and he’s sad and he falls asleep and then he wakes up when the train like screeches to a halt.

It took me a second to realize that they were. route to the final destination. So they had already made a bunch of stops because it took me a second to figure out why now are we only following like six people? There were a ton of people on this train. It’s because they all got off. This is the last. Stop.

It took me forever. I couldn’t figure out their names because they’re listed in no particular order on IMDB. Like, it’s just random, but okay. So we’ve got, yeah. And I also just, you just kind of had to categorize them, but I did. I finally figured it out. The douchey business guy’s name is Adrian, and then there’s also a kinda douchey business lady named Kate.

She’s blonde. I think she was the lead lady from, uh, the Descent. 

Todd: Shawna McDonald, yep. 

Craig: There’s a guy, uh, named Matthew who wears glasses and is like reading a book. There’s an obnoxious Teenager girl. I think she’s supposed to be teenage, teenager, early twenties named Nina. And she’s so obnoxious that I didn’t even care when she gets killed.

She gets killed. Uh, Oh yeah. 

Todd: She’s like the first. 

Craig: I was glad that was so satisfying, obnoxious, the cute young guy, Billy, the old couple, Jed and Jenny, and then the, the, the two rail workers, um, our main Joe and his. Love interest, I guess. Ellen. Their names don’t really matter, but ultimately, like, that was a tight enough group and a diverse enough cast that I, I was into it.

I was into the conflict. I was into it when Adrian the douche, like, had a private talk with Joe and was like, these werewolves are gonna come back, cause there’s werewolves. I’m going totally out of my mind. I apologize, but I appreciate the intrigue when he’s like, you know, these werewolves are going to, or this werewolf, they think there’s only one at first, this werewolf is going to come back.

We need to plan. There’s some of us on here that don’t stand a chance anyway. So to buy ourself time, we may need to throw these people to the wolves. Um, and, and it’s not really conflict because Joe’s immediate, like, no, you’re an asshole. We’re not doing that. But I did appreciate like the, the human.

Intrigue of that stuff. I don’t even remember how so the train crashes and the driver goes out He says we must have hit something and he goes out to check and see and he finds a deer And he starts pulling it out and he’s immediately attacked by a werewolf. This movie does not try to hide what’s happening Like yeah, it’s called howl.

There’s full moon imagery all over the place. There’s wolves howling in the You’re getting wolf POV and the second that he gets attacked and blood, I love this, blood splashes up on the window right behind the business lady and she just doesn’t even notice. There is lots of blood and gore. Oh, we’ll have to talk about that specifically.

But then they’re stuck there and do they figure out that there are werewolves? How do they figure it out? Do they see it? Is it when it gets Nina? They all get frustrated 

Todd: because they really, really, really want to get off the train. And he’s not allowed to let them off the train. He’s not, you know, that’s not protocol.

Speaker 4: But the station can’t be more than what, two miles walk? Three, max? And we might even get a phone signal before then. 

Speaker 5: I’m in? Yeah. Yes. 

Speaker 6: Wait, wait, wait, no, no. You can’t, you can’t just, you don’t Because safety protocol clearly states that passengers must stay on the train with wet assistance. Those are the rules, madam.

I can’t let you, it’s not ridiculous, those are the rules. I’ll lose my job. Sir! You can’t get out of there without any keys. 

Todd: But anyway, they, cause he’s kind of a wiener, they coerce him, uh, and, uh, convince him to use his key to unlock the, that’s the key, is he’s got the keys to be able to open and close the doors to the train.

And so he’s like, fine, fine, we’ll get off and we’ll walk, because we’re not that far from, a mile or two from the next stop. So he gets out, he helps them all out, and he leads them down, and as they’re walking along, suddenly there’s some screaming and a howl, uh, and he, heading a little bit forward through the woods, it’s kind of interesting that they don’t follow the train tracks, I mean they do, but they’re kind of walking through the woods parallel to it, that was a little strange.

Yeah. But anyway, he comes across, half. Of a body, he can see the half eaten corpse of his, uh, the driver, and he’s like, uh, stops and turns around and says, we need to go back. And just at that moment, something starts coming after them that I guess they can see, because they’re all panicked and they’re running and running and running.

And so they run back and get almost everybody on the train, but just at the last minute as they’re pulling in the older woman, somebody shuts the doors, and they shut on her leg, and so her leg is stuck. And she’s like, And as it’s stuck out there, a werewolf has grabbed her leg and is pulling her up and down through the door.

So they can see, yeah, this is terrible. They don’t initially think it’s a werewolf, because by the time they pull her in and they see her leg has a giant bite taken out of it, and with the violence that she was thrown up and down before they could pull her in, Um, I think somebody said, she says like a bear or something like that.

She thinks it’s bears. I don’t know. She, 

Craig: I think she said that it was more like a man, like she’s insistent. Like she’s like, it wasn’t an animal. 

Todd: Yeah. I mean, I guess the idea is because she was the last one in, she was able to catch a glimpse of it. I didn’t think anybody saw. But I guess she must have so that 

Craig: scene See, I feel like there are really good things about this movie.

Like that scene was crazy like yeah I don’t know that doorway is probably six seven feet High and she’s just being flung up and down and up and down and they finally pull her in And then she’s got this disgusting wound That evolves throughout the course of the movie and just gets progressively more and more disgusting.

That’s super gross. You know, the, the director of this movie is an effects guy. Did you say that he did the effects on this too? Um, I think he did, yeah. Well, they’re, they’re really good. Yeah. Um, but it also, that, what we were just talking about leads to a discussion. Because we see the, when the driver gets killed, We have a view from underneath the train and we see werewolf legs.

Like that’s just what they are. There’s no mystery. Um, and I guess the legs were mostly or entirely CGI, but everything else was guys in suits. I don’t mind guys in suits when they look good. And I thought these. Suits looked good. They did. They were interesting. They were, they were interesting in that And I noticed this of course, but I read it too.

I think it was intentional. They were less wolf than most werewolf imagery that we see yeah It’s more of a man wolf hybrid with more leaning towards the man than usual. Um, I mean, still very beast like and, and big and strong and hairy. Yeah. Not as hairy as sometimes, but I don’t know. I just thought it was a really unique design.

Not entirely. They still look like werewolves. They just don’t look like the traditional werewolf. Maybe I get, 

Todd: well, I’d say, yeah, what they’re lacking in the face, anyway, seems to be that maw. Uh, they don’t have that elongated face that looks like a wolf or a dog. A snout. They’ve, yeah, you know, there’s the ears, and there’s the hair.

Teeth. Uh, and then, but when they open up their mouths, they’re, it’s just like a bunch of teeth. It’s not even, you know, like canines. So, in a way, it reminded me almost from the waist up like an orc, you know, like a hairy orc. Kind of. Which I was totally cool with, and then, you know, waist down, it was a wolf, but then when they’re outside kind of running and prowling around, they’re not on all fours, they’re the ones standing up and stuff.

Yeah, I bought that these were werewolves, you know, who knows what a werewolf looks like, it was okay. And I liked the fact that it was a little unique. And I really was impressed with, they’re very judicious, really, in showing you their faces and things, you know, they don’t hold back at moments, but even when the werewolf ends up on the train and is attacking them, a lot of it happens in very quick cuts.

You don’t get a whole, long, full on, you know, look at their face much. But when you 

Craig: do, it’s impressive. Yeah, I was gonna say, especially towards the end, Because towards the end, it, it, it starts to become Dawn and you do get some closeups on all of them. And what I was impressed by was that they’re distinctive.

Yeah. They have distinct looks, like as people do, you know, like they don’t just all look the same. Um, they’ve got, for lack of a better word, character. They’ve got, and there are ones that clearly seem more female and then ones that seem more The one that they kill on the, uh, train is huge. Like, I think he must, I think he was probably the alpha.

I think that’s what we’re led to believe. One of the werewolves, the, the, when they think there’s only one before they know there are more, before we know there are more, the old lady gets bit. And then I, is it? Uh, the annoying girl that gets ripped out the window next. 

Todd: I think that’s when they realize it’s a werewolf, cause they get enough of a look at him when he reaches in and grabs her and pulls her out.

That somebody says for the first time, I think they’re werewolves. Am I wrong about that? 

Craig: I don’t know. I am totally lost on where we are. I do know that like, the werewolf like rams the train. And so they know there’s something big out there, and then there’s this scene where it drags its claws along the car.

Yes. Ha ha ha 

Todd: ha ha ha. That was so corny. It was like Freddy Krueger dragging his claws menacingly along. Except this werewolf’s really doing it for nobody, but I guess his own pleasure. 

Craig: For us, I guess. I don’t know. There’s intrigue about how the train, somehow, I don’t, there are lots of things that I couldn’t put together.

Somehow, this young kid Had just come from engineering camp or something And so he knew what was wrong with the train and he knew how that was so silly Yeah, it’s funny 

Todd: because he did but he didn’t really do much about it until the end. I felt like there’s a moment These are the bones I have to pick first of all i’m with you.

I believed these characters. I really believed these characters I felt like they were real people even though Like I said, they were trope y and kind of stock, um, they came across as realistic, like, um, that was fine. But there’s this moment, you know, where everybody’s just arguing with each other, and the wife’s been bit, and maybe the girl’s been taken out.

Our schlubby, Joe, he doesn’t ever really take control of the situation. But the older guy just yells. You’ve got to do something! So there’s his reticence. 

Speaker 5: What are we gonna do? Stop listening to this little prick for starters. 

Speaker 6: He’s doing his best. He should even be on this train. 

Speaker 5: Enough! Do you all want to die tonight?

Because if you do, you just carry on whinging and arguing and soon enough that thing out there He’ll take care of it for you. But if you still intend to get home, then start acting like it. It’s an animal. Animals hunt what’s easy to catch. And look at us. 

Todd: We’re sitting ducks here. And I thought, okay, cool.

Older guy shots everyone to reality and makes them realize they need to do something. Sadly, schlubby guy, this was his opportunity to do that and he didn’t, you know, because he’s supposed to ostensibly be the leader. I thought, okay, fine. It’s not, he’s not ready yet for that. The old guy’s providing an example.

And that, I believe, is the moment where, uh, the douchey guy says, Have you got any tools? Because we need to barricade this up. And so they start pulling all the pieces out, and they pull out the tools, and they start barricading the windows with random bits of sheet metal and screws, I guess, that they find everywhere.

I don’t know where they get this stuff from, it’s, it’s weird, but, again, it’s the zombie thing! It’s, get all the boards, every house has a huge stack of boards in the basement that you can, nails and hammers, that you can immediately use to barricade the doors. I thought it was a little silly, but here’s the deal, like, so that guy, you know, takes control, and then he’s got a backseat?

For the rest of the movie. Like we don’t really hear much or see much of this old guy doing anything except sit there. 

Craig: He’s just tending to his wife who is obviously turning into a werewolf. And the douchey guy says that 

Todd: he says, you know what werewolves are all about. She’s going to turn. And she is obviously getting much and much worse.

An old guy who seemed so smart. It’s just like, uh, uh, uh. Yeah, no, 

Speaker 7: we just gotta get her to the hospital. 

Craig: Like, she’s barfing, she’s barfing up black bile and her teeth are shooting out of her mouth. Like, she is not going to be okay. And he’s no help, 

Todd: and they all just sort of kind of ignore him, you know?

Like, in a lot of other movies, there’s a big argument here, and she gets, you know, quarantined, maybe with or without her husband, to some other part of the train where they’re gonna board them in, you know, that kind of thing. But here, they just let it go. Like, they’re well aware of what’s going on, and they just kinda let it go.

I thought that was a little silly. The other thing was, I didn’t feel like our guy was very heroic, you know? I was expecting to see him slowly and slowly take control. Kind of like Trainbook to Busan, where, you know, this guy who’s very, very selfish, eventually decides he needs to start helping to look out to other people, and then he starts getting engaged in the action.

And by the end of the movie, you’ve seen this clear progression of circumstances and instances where he’s been tested. And he’s eventually, you know, done it. I feel like our guy was still just kinda going with the flow most of the time. 

Craig: Until the end. Yeah. Until the end when he had to stand up against the douchey guy.

Yeah, you’re right. One of my favorite scenes Okay, so that teenage girl gets sucked out the window Not sucked out. The werewolf The werewolf Bursts in and grabs her and tears her out. And that’s when they barricade everything up. But eventually they hear noise in the train and they’re like, Oh my God, what is it?

And I guess to be fair, Joe is the only one who’s going to go and investigate. And they kind of board, they kind of barricaded up. Behind him after he goes out. And it turns out it’s this fat slob that we met in the introduction when we were meeting. But we assumed he was gone. I knew it was gonna be him.

Yeah. I’m like, there’s no way. They introduced that guy for no reason. 

Todd: And then of course he’s the guy who’s gotta go to the toilet a lot. I mean it’s so, yeah. 

Craig: And I feel like there are two, like he comes out of the toilet, but it doesn’t matter. ’cause then he just. goes back in and they realize that he’s missing and Joe goes to get him and a werewolf busts in through the top of the toilet and kills the fat guy in the toilet, but now it’s on the train And they barely get Joe back into the safe car And I don’t know.

I think they’re planning on getting out and running again because they think there’s only one at this point, but they don’t get out. I think, correct me if I’m misremembering this, but this big werewolf gets in the car with them and there’s a big fight. And I loved this scene because it seems like you seldom see this.

It seems like in horror movies, there’s, you know, a big monster and it just rips through the training, kills everybody. I would think that this is potentially more realistic. Like if these people. All fought back, you know, like it’s a, he’s a pretty big monster, but there’s six or seven of them and they’ve got like weapons and stuff.

And they do, they fight it and it’s brutal. And, and, and they, it’s not as though they go undamaged. One of the women, I think the main girl, I don’t know, one of them gets really beat up, but ultimately. Uh, I think it’s, Matthew gets it with an ax, like in the chest. Yes. Like a bunch of times. I mean, there’s tons of stabbing and all of this is, uh, practical effects.

So you’re seeing stuff up close and it’s blood splattering and 

Todd: it’s good. 

Craig: Gushy. Gushy sounds, . Uh, there is so much like a DR, like gloopy, like, like . Like at one point. At one point they’re dressing. Jenny the old lady’s wolf bite wound and it’s like, like, it’s 

Todd: so 

Craig: disgusting. It’s gross. 

Todd: Man, when they peel the bandage back from that wound, uh, and it’s like slimy and sticking to it and all that.

I was like, hats off to that guy. I mean, how many times have you peeled a bandage off and you know what it’s like? And they got that just right. So. Oh, so gross. 

Craig: But the effects are great and they kill it and like. I also like that they think it’s dead and then they have a little conversation. I don’t remember what they’re talking about.

And then the wolf just sits up in the background, but they immediately see it. And somebody, I think it’s Joe. What does he get? Like a fire extinguisher? It’s a fire 

Todd: extinguisher. Yeah. And bashes its head. Yeah. Like, it’s like, oh, here we go. And that was the moment. That was the first moment when Joe actually does something, you know, like when he actually Kind of takes control.

I mean it was a little anticlimactic for being that first moment, but I thought oh, okay from here on We’re gonna see Joe like rising to the occasion a little bit more and And sadly he kind of doesn’t until the very end. Well, maybe this is the point since the werewolves on the train now, maybe now is when the old, the douchey guy says she’s going to turn.

Craig: Yeah. But right before the big werewolf dies, it lets out these howls and we see that there are three. Three other werewolves in the woods that hear it and I, you know, I didn’t know anything about this movie going in. I mean, I knew the movie wasn’t over. So we still got, we still got Jenny, the old lady, who’s obviously turning into a werewolf.

In fact, Adrian, the douchey business guy wants to kill her. But the others won’t let him and eventually at some point they tie both of them up I thought this was so funny. They tie adrian up. 

Speaker 3: Oh my 

Craig: god, because he tries to attack somebody or something I know that i’m missing plot points and I feel terrible about it, but they end up tying him up Right and they tie up the werewolf lady, too Right next to each other.

Like, she is literally, like, leaning on him. And, like, you guys, she’s gonna turn into a werewolf. And she’s gonna just immediately eat this guy. Not that I care, cause he was a douchebag. God, I don’t know. Yeah. So they’re both strapped down and, and now they think all their, their only problem is they’ve got to get the train running and Billy knows how to do it.

Right. So he gives them a quick tutorial on how to drive a train. What? How does he know? I don’t understand. And then he’s going to go out to patch the wires and Matthew is going to help. And then. God, this was one of the parts that I thought was so silly. Joe, in his role as the guard of the train, gives a motivational speech over the PA.

It’s like, it’s like, 

Speaker 4: This is your guard speaking. I’d like to apologize once again for the delay to your journey this evening. A few hours ago, we were strangers. Most of you probably wish we still were. But we’re gonna try and get out of here now. We’re gonna do whatever it takes to survive. Together. 

Speaker 7: All of us.

Uh, just, uh, once again, I would like to apologize for the delay in your journey. Like, 

Craig: oh my god. 

Speaker 7: Yeah. 

Craig: Oh. It’s pretty goofy. And at this point I, like, are they leaning into the comedy? The humor? I don’t know. But, Billy’s under the train, he gets the line patched up, but Matthew hears Oh my god. from the woods, 

Speaker 3: Help me!

Todd: No, did he hear, is that what initially sent him out of the woods? I thought the help me wasn’t coming till he was in the woods. 

Craig: No, he heard it from the train. And it distracted him. And he started walking away. Meanwhile, Billy’s like, bro, I need the light. Yeah. I know, and why is he walking out there? And I was really confused at first, because I was like, Can werewolves do that?

Like, can they imitate young girls voices? Like, can they, can they go back to their human form to like lure people in and then wolf out on them as it turns out, like he walks out there and he’s got a flashlight and he realizes that the voice is coming from above. So he pans his flashlight and the camera follows it up the tree where he sees Nina being eaten by the other werewolves up in the tree.

I had forgotten Nina existed.

It took me a second to be like, Oh yeah, that girl. 

Todd: Okay, I get it. What’s crazy about it, I mean, you know, you know what’s gonna happen, you’ve seen enough of these movies, I mean it’s almost obligatory, but I was like, you dumbass, at least stay with your friend, you were the guard, you were standing there to guard this guy, and without a conversation, without anything, he just starts wandering off into the werewolves are.

This didn’t make any sense to me. I don’t care who’s calling out to him, this guy was supposed to be smart, he was reading a book. That’s how we know he’s supposed to be the smart guy, and, ugh, my god. So anyway, the thing about it is, it almost seemed like the werewolves were done with the train by that point.

It was him being out in the woods. Yeah. You know, where the werewolves are having their little powwow and eating 

Craig: Mina that lures them all back. That’s true. Cause they jump, they jump down and surround him. I feel like we have to mention the fact that in the nighttime their eyes glow. Yeah. I feel like that could be a polarizing choice.

I liked it. I thought it was sinister. Yeah. Also, it’s like animals are like that, right? Yeah. Right. 

Todd: Eyes. They don’t like literally glow, but they’re reflective. And so they look like they’re glowing. I was down with that. I liked it. 

Craig: Um, and when they all jump down and are surrounding him, and then, you know, you see them all, uh, converge, uh, on him.

I just thought it looked good. I thought that this was a scary werewolf movie. Like, I, I feel like if I had seen this when I was, you know, A kid. Oh yeah. I would’ve thought it was really cool. . 

Todd: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Craig: But you’re right. But then, so I guess now that they, I don’t know, have been reminded that there are other people, they come, what’s his name?

Billy gets the train fixed and they actually get it going. Yep. But the werewolves show up like right at that moment. 

Todd: And Billy’s caught, cause he can’t get out of the train, cause the werewolves are there, and as soon as Joe sees the, the fuel line thing come on, cause what he did was, he had to patch the fuel line.

I don’t get the logic of this, I was watching this with my dad, and I turned and I looked at him and I’m like, So, when the fuel is out, and it’s, because it’s like, leaking or something, does that mean Electricity goes off? You can hatch the line and suddenly you have fuel again? Or does it have something to do with just pressure in the line?

And my dad was like, well if it has to do with pressure in the line. You know, just wrapping it with a few winds of duct tape is not going to help, you know, but in any case, it’s not going to withstand the pressure. 

Craig: It’s exciting in the moment that, you know, they get it, they do get it, you know, uh, going, but the werewolves are there and that part to me, uh, Billy underneath the train can see them.

He can see their legs and we kind of are seeing from his point of view and we see them. Start to crouch down to look under the train. I was, I mean, I wasn’t scared. Like I’m legitimately scared, but I thought that was a scary part. I mean, like what is, and when, when then we switched to their point of view and he’s not there, I mean, I, before they revealed in the next second that he was hanging up underneath it.

I figured it out, but I was like, oh, where did he 

Speaker 3: go? He was just there. 

Craig: Right. Um, and then I also thought it was scary that you know, he was stuck hanging on there When they started the train Like yeah 

Todd: They gave up on poor billy This is why i’m not sure joe is such a hero by the end of the movie because he kind of waits for billy for A little bit, but then he just decides well, we need the werewolves are here.

So we need to start the train I don’t know like Sure, I guess, but he didn’t poke his head out the window. You know, he didn’t like do anything. It’s just like, all right Well, well, here we go Leaving that poor guy behind, but he wasn’t left behind. He’s under the damn train and that’s terrifying too But I thought if Billy could ride this out I’ve heard of this happening before where people can You know, clutch underneath the train and, uh, and be okay, uh, in the end.

I thought if Billy can ride this out, he’ll be all right, but he can’t because like, he, you know, his arms aren’t strong enough. In fact, he ends up grabbing one of the fuel lines just to pull himself and just destroys it again, which stops the train again. So it’s frustrating. 

Craig: And yeah, another thing that I like about this movie is that there are always lots of things going on at the same time, because while all this is happening in the passenger car.

Ginny is, has turned into a werewolf, like she is full on wolfed out. The old lady. Oh my god. She escapes and then there’s just chaos there because she’s in there and the other three werewolves are out there. Yes. Kate like gets pushed up against a door or something and it opens and the werewolves are right there.

And I think they grab her, and she’s, like, reaching out to Adrian, like, Help me, help me! And instead, he just kicks her 

Todd: out the door! I knew that was gonna happen, eventually. And of course, we knew that the woman was gonna turn. But again, I’ve got a problem with the woman turning. I mean, you know, not really.

But, like, Come on, she is standing there. By the way, she, she looks freaky as heck. And the actress did a great job. Oh, she was fantastic. But she just stands there and snarls in place at her husband. While this guy is like, uh, uh, uh, honey, honey. He just lets her after a while at first, it seems like I’m thinking, Oh, come on.

You know, this is so bad. She does not lunge. She does not attack. She just like, and it just backs him slowly into the seat. Eventually nobody else does anything. She just bites the heck out of his neck. And I’m like, come on, this guy. Okay. We thought this was the smart guy, because he, earlier on, was getting everybody and, you know, telling everybody to fuck up.

And he’s such a moron, and I don’t know, you know, like, I get it. It happens all the time in these movies with zombies. I realize this is your loved one. I realize you don’t know what this means. You want to hold out hope that maybe they’re half turned, or maybe there’s a cure, or something like that. But this, I’m sorry, if I saw somebody in that state, you know, my significant other looking at me like that, I would be doing significantly more than standing there, Honey, honey, honey, and letting them back me into a corner.

I mean, I might not take their head off, but I would do something. At least run. 

Craig: No, come on. Jesus Christ. So she, yeah, she eats her husband. Joe kills her. I don’t really remember. It must not have been particularly notable because I just have Joe kills Jenny. And then the wolves get on the train and Joe is trying to unlock the door so they can get out, but Adrian attacks him.

I don’t really remember why, but then Adrian gets off the train while the other two, the two rail workers, Joe and his girl, whatever, while they’re preoccupied with the wolves, he, Adrian gets off the train, but he takes the keys with them because you can only open or close the doors with the keys. So he takes the keys so he can run off, leave the two of them back there to be food for the werewolves or whatever.

It’s a mean plan, but. Not a bad one.

Joe and Ellen are there and they’re, they’re surrounded like from either side. The wolves are coming from either side. And they can’t get out, but fortunately, Billy has made his way out from underneath the train and has secured Molotov cocktails. Okay. Where did those come from? I had no idea. Where did they come from?

And Billy should not be handling open flame. He has been laying underneath a leaking fuel line for the last 20 minutes. I have watched him get saturated by gasoline for the last 20 minutes. But he throws Molotov cocktails at the werewolves and it hits them and then frightens them and Joe pries the door open somehow.

Um, and he and Ellen get out, but Billy gets killed. I was sad. I thought Billy was a good kid. I wanted him to make it. He didn’t deserve it. 

Todd: You went and go back to, get back to school. Yeah, 

Craig: back to engineering school. Um, but he died a hero. So that’s great. Yeah. And so, so then Joe and Ellen run through the woods and this is where it’s very clearly day for night.

But I guess it’s also supposed to be nearing dawn. So that’s fine. Whatever. 

Todd: I, that’s what I was thinking, but yeah. 

Craig: And they chase them. And then in, honestly, when I was watching it, Now that I’m about to say it out loud, I’m like, this is so stupid. Joe stops them in the middle of the woods. And they have a good minute conversation about how they’re not going to make it.

And he has to urge her to continue running. I guess his idea is that he’s going to stay behind to fight them or sacrifice himself to give her the opportunity to run away. I think that if they had just kept running, they would have had a pretty good shot. Yeah, whatever. Uh, anyway, so. He eventually convinces her to keep running and he stays behind and he does put up a fight gives her a big kiss Oh, yeah, they kiss they have like the big, you know moment like you expect the the orchestra like It’s a big kiss moment and then she runs off and he stays behind and to be I mean he puts up a fight But it’s him against three werewolves.

Todd: He’s got a die. 

Craig: They get him and you just see You What appeared to me to be the larger female wolf. grab him almost in an embrace, um, and, and is biting at his neck. And then the ending wraps up pretty quickly. Uh, Ellen just walks into the train station bloody and, and beat up and tattered and torn. And like nobody even pays attention.

That’s it for her. And then it cuts back to the woods where Adrian is trying to make his way out. And he hears the rustling in the, Brush that we’ve been hearing throughout and he gets surrounded by the werewolves and one of them Joe is now one of them. Like he’s still like in his suit, but he’s a werewolf He changed much more quickly than Jenny did.

He sure did. But he has a distinct look too He kind of looks different from the other werewolves. Yeah, I don’t know Maybe this is me reading too much into it But I kind of got the impression that the alpha female had been Turned him they didn’t kill him they turned him and now he’s gonna be the alpha male to replace the alpha male that was killed Earlier in the movie.

Todd: I did not make that leap, but it makes sense I mean, it’s weird how the werewolves will eviscerate and eat some people but then other people like in Joe’s case I guess deliberately turned right? Yeah, 

Craig: that’s that’s why I said it when that big female And again, I’m making assumptions, we don’t see their genitalia, but it looked like a female, to me, grabbed him and bit him.

It seemed more like an embrace, like she didn’t ravage him, she just 

Todd: went in for a bite. Oh god, and I was getting flashbacks to all the werewolf porn novels that I voice. It’s always this, you know, they mark each other. By grabbing each other and like, taking a big bite out of their neck kinda shoulder area.

Oh my god as I watched that. It’s funny I didn’t draw the conclusion you did, because that was the first thing that came to my mind was, Oh, mate. Ha ha ha 

Craig: ha ha ha! Too much werewolf porn for you. Too much I’m You know honestly, I’m I enjoyed it. I, I certainly wouldn’t steer people away from it. I thought it was entertaining.

I actually enjoyed it more than Wolfen. Mm. People, you know, we’ve already had our, uh, Facebook friends and stuff say, What are you talking about with dog soldiers? What are you talking about? We knew it. We knew it would happen too. I know. I enjoyed this more than Dog Soldiers. It was more fun to watch for me.

So I don’t know. Overall, I have to, I have to confess that I, I, I enjoyed it. I, I don’t think it’s great, but I thought it was creative. The gore effects were really skillful. Maybe I just appreciate what they did with, uh, Practical Effects. You know, this guy’s an effects guy, but I’m sure the budget was also somewhat limiting.

And I don’t know, I don’t, I really don’t know why I’m being apologetic about it. I liked it. I’m just going to say it. I liked it. Own your 

Todd: feelings. I didn’t hate it. You know, I didn’t despise it. I can’t say I was particularly moved by it, and that’s because I feel like I’ve seen this movie six, seven, eight times before, just with zombies instead of werewolves.

Craig: Yeah, it is a zombie movie with werewolves. You’re absolutely right about that. 

Todd: But, but what kind of, you know, criticism is that? I mean, you know, as it comes out of my mouth, like, how many times do we watch literally, like, the same movie over and over again? You know, anytime we start dipping into 80’s slashers, that’s what it is, and I love them to death, and that’s why I love them.

I love the familiarity. I love seeing the formula play out. If somebody puts a new twist on it, then cool, that that’s exciting. If somebody doesn’t put a twist on it, I still probably get more out of the movie or enjoyment out of it than I did out of this. So I’m not sure what my expectation was. I think just the lack of novelty here was my biggest criticism.

I was looking for something that just had maybe a little twist, you know? A little something I hadn’t seen before. End. The fact that there was no twist, there was nothing I really hadn’t seen before here, I didn’t feel like there was anything really novel about it. So it’s just kinda like, you know, it’s okay, it’s fine.

But it didn’t blow me away, I didn’t hate it. But was I a little bored? Mmm I think as I just saw all the tropes play out, I was kinda checking my watch. You know, I was like, alright, we’ll wrap it up, I get it. He’s gonna be the hero, she’s probably gonna get away. They’ll have a moment. It happened. It was so predictable that, that I wasn’t in it.

I wasn’t anticipating anything. So I wasn’t really riled up, you know, 

Craig: I get it. I feel like this is kind of a popcorn movie. I actually might watch this again. If somebody said, let’s hang out. Let’s, let’s watch a fun, scary movie. You know, somebody who maybe doesn’t watch a lot of scary movies, I guess that’s to say it doesn’t have a whole lot of expectations.

Like, I feel like there are enough, there are little things that we didn’t even talk about. There are jump scares. Like there’s a, in the very beginning, Joe is checking people’s tickets and some old lady drops hers and he bends down. To pick it up and then it cuts to a POV shot from under the seat and you think something’s watching And then something jumps out at him really fast and it’s just a little chihuahua dog, but they treat it like It’s a monster.

I’m like, that’s how it’s shot and that’s how it’s scored. 

Todd: That was cute. And 

Craig: it, like, it, it really made me jump. And I feel like that would be something fun to watch with my niece and nephew or friends who want to dip their toe in horror. And it just, to me, it seems like a fun movie to watch. It’s not a great movie and I wouldn’t rave about it, but I had a good time.

So it’s, it’s a thumbs up for me. 

Todd: And I mean, it’s a fine movie to end our werewolf month on. Yeah. We’ll probably do some more werewolf movies in the future. We’ve done some werewolf movies in the past. Yeah. And, uh, if you go to our YouTube channel, um, you can see a whole werewolf playlist and I’ve just conveniently put them all.

So in case werewolf month has inspired you to seek out more werewolf films, you can see what else we’ve tackled and also would love to hear some suggestions as to, um, other werewolf movies you think we should do in the future. We’ll come back to these here and there, uh, as we move on. It’s funny, I don’t think there are werewolves is another one of it’s sort of like cannibal movies.

Like. It’s a genre that hasn’t really been played out yet. I think like, you know, how many there are millions of zombie movies. I feel like Dracula and vampires are, are, are huge. Don’t feel like. We have a massive back catalog of werewolf movies to choose from when we want to. Am I wrong about that? 

Craig: Well, I think there are a lot.

I mean, I’ve seen More than I realize, huh? Yeah, I’ve seen a lot that we haven’t talked about. I, uh 

Todd: So you don’t think it’s an underserved subgenre? Well, 

Craig: I don’t I don’t think it’s as popular as some of the other genres, but I also think that like vampires, Werewolves are kind of timeless and I don’t expect them to go anywhere.

I think that we’ll continue, we’ll continue to get werewolf stories and werewolf movies because I think that like vampires, werewolves speak to something to us about ourselves and humanity, the beast 

Todd: within 

Craig: the beast within. And it’s the same thing, um, for vampires. I think vampires lean more heavily into the seductive sexuality side of it.

And werewolves are more kind of the, the carnal violent iteration. But because I think that they are commentary on human nature, I don’t think our human nature is going to evolve in my lifetime to a point where we’re not still interested in that. So. 

Todd: True. Take it from me. They’re just getting sexier and sexier.

So, uh, you know, as long as they can, uh, dip their toes in the romance genre, as well as vampires have, and they are going full steam ahead in that direction, they’re going to be with us for a very, very long time. In all kinds of iterations. I’ll take your word 

Craig: for it. 

Todd: Yeah. I’ll do a mini sode about my experiences voicing vampires.

Werewolf porn. We 

Craig: should, and you should play clips. I want to hear this. I want to hear the steamies or you could do a live reading. That would be exciting too. I might have to turn my camera off. 

Todd: No, yeah. You would not want your camera on for that a hundred percent. 

Craig: No, I wouldn’t want you to see what I was doing while you were doing your live 

Speaker 3: reading.

Todd: And with that, thank you very much for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend. You can find us online just by searching Two Guys in a Chainsaw Podcast. We’re everywhere that you find podcasts. Please leave us a review in one of those places. Those reviews really, really help us out.

And go to our Patreon page and think about supporting our podcast patreon. com slash chainsaw podcast. Uh, that will, uh, get you access to our unedited, uh, phone calls, lots of mini sodes, lots of, um, reviews. You can get a taste of those just by going there. We put a lot of stuff up for free and little free previews.

If you like what you see there, consider joining. It’s only five bucks a month. Also, big thanks to our sponsor this month, Manscaped. If you go to manscaped. com, use the code chainsaw. Real easy to remember. You get 20 percent off your order. Plus. Free shipping. It’s a great deal. Um, Craig and I have both gotten the products.

We, we, we both really like them. They’re, they’re real nice, so check ’em out., code CHAINSAW to get 20% off, plus free shipping. Until next time, I’m Todd. And I’m Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw

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