All My Friends Are Dead

Happy New Year! This week, we bring you a fairly new Polish film that’s streaming on Netflix which was a blast to watch. A New Year’s Eve party goes awry and everyone ends up dying. It’s like a horror version of American Pie, and it really surprised us! Thanks, Patrons, for choosing our first episode of 2024!

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All My Friends Are Dead (2020)

Episode 375, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw

Todd: Happy New Year from two guys and a chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: 2024. I don’t know if it’s going to get any better than 2023, honestly. I’m going to try to remain hopeful and positive, but, uh. Holy crap, we have had a few interesting years these last few years. And, uh, I feel like the future is a big unknown.

So I’m entering 2024 with A bit of trepidation, but always hopeful. The world constantly surprises me. I’m just hoping that someday soon it’ll start surprising me in the right direction instead of the wrong direction. I’m gonna 

Craig: be optimistic and say I think 2024 is gonna be great. 2023 was better than the years Before like for you, I mean we went through that stupid pandemic And I I don’t mean to downplay it I just mean it sucked We went through that pandemic and we’ve come out of it and I know things aren’t perfect but I really think things are getting better and I I think they’re gonna keep getting better.

Well, I sure, yeah, I have, I, I have to be optimistic. 

Todd: I sure hope so. I mean, if you live in the Middle East right now, 2023 has been a bit of a nightmare. So, uh, yeah, but hopefully we can only go 

Craig: up from here and, and yeah, and, and God willing. I just, I have, I have no idea how that conflict is gonna be resolved, uh, but, uh, I certainly hope it is, somehow, because it’s terrible.

Well, what a fun way to start out our New Year’s 

Todd: podcast. Right, I know, I feel a little guilty for saying that, but, you know, it is a new year, it’s time for reflection, it’s time for looking ahead as well as looking back. That’s true. And, um, this year, we always, well, we always try to do a New Year’s themed podcast.

There are even fewer New Year’s themed horror movies than there are. Easter themed horror movies, I think. 

Craig: Uh, I’m not sure how we missed this one, until you brought it to my attention this year, and it came to my attention when you posted it as a choice on a poll on our Patreon page. Like, I had never heard of it before 2020!

Maybe because it’s foreign? Did it come out in the states in 2020? I mean, it’s a Netflix production, so presumably it did. Yeah, 

Todd: I think, it’s definitely a Netflix production. I’m sure just like they do with all their foreign films, is they put it on and, you know, for everybody. I mean, not all their foreign films, but the ones that they produce, they seem to have a, like a, I mean, maybe I’m giving Netflix too much credit, but I know that they’re big on data, you know, and the productions that they produce themselves and put money into are very much, um, geared towards data and what they think their users are.

I think I see a trend where they’re trying to get foreign films that are gonna have a wide appeal, cross borders, and And so I sort of have this feeling that this film was funded with the, even though it’s Polish, was funded with the intent that they could throw it up in a lot of different markets. And I don’t think that’s wrong.

I think this film, it’s not distinctly Polish. I mean, uh, No. You know, it takes place in Poland. Obviously, they’re speaking Polish. I’m sure there’s some humor in here maybe I didn’t get. There’s a lot of humor in here I did get. I thought this was a very funny movie in many ways. Very dark comedy is what it turns out to be.

But yeah, I thought this movie could have just as easily been produced in the U. S. in English and it would have, uh, it wouldn’t have felt any different. No, it felt 

Craig: very American. Especially since the soundtrack. Oh yeah. Okay, now, I did, I did read, after I watched the movie, I read reviews, and one of the reviews was titled, watch the sub, not the dub.

Which 

Todd: one did you watch? I watched the sub. 

Craig: Okay. I watched the dub because they said, they said that if you watch it in the original Polish with the subtitles, the jokes are closer in translation as opposed to the dub where they, I don’t know. I don’t know how you Americanize a translation, but that’s what they made it sound like.

Now, again, I’m talking about a user review. So. I see. I have no idea about the accuracy of that, but no, it felt very American to me. I was starting to say, especially since the soundtrack is largely like 70s and 80s rock. Yeah. Which I loved. It was fantastic. Like I want to go. Aside from all the dying, I want to go to that New Year’s party.

They were playing the most fun music and people were dancing and super into it. It was awesome. Have we even said what movie we’re watching? 

Todd: It’s called All My Friends Are Dead from 2020. We posed this to our patrons. We had a list of about three, I think I put up three or four movies. Um, one of which was Schwarzenegger’s End of Days, which I was sure would win.

I thought for sure I was positive that was gonna win. But no, maybe, maybe it was the description, you know, that kind of, uh, caught people’s interest on this one. Basically, during a New Year’s Eve party, a bunch of friends, a series of crazy events brings out secrets, breaks hearts, and leads to a shocking ending, which sounds like A lot of horror movies we’ve reviewed here.

So I’ll bet, I’ll bet that one put it over the edge. Maybe that and, or the fact that maybe a lot of people haven’t seen it. We’re curious about it. I don’t know. 

Craig: Maybe. I don’t know either, but when I saw the title. It was familiar to me because I own a small illustrated book called All My Friends Are Dead.

There’s like a satirical book. Yes, with a dinosaur on the cover, right? Yes! The sad brontosaurus It says, All My Friends Are Dead. And then the Uh, the rest of them are like plays on that. Like, I, you know, I don’t remember. It’s like a piece of bologna and it’s like, all my friends are bread and like a bunch, but it’s really funny.

And I thought that it was so funny that I had the cover. No, I didn’t. My sister had the. The cover made into a t shirt for 

Todd: me. Oh, nice! Because I just thought it was so funny! Well, it is hilarious. That sad brontosaurus, All my friends are dead. Ha ha ha 

Craig: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And, and I thought, Surely, surely, This can’t be a film adaptation of that book.

And it’s not. No, it’s not. There’s also a new movie in pre production in America called All My Friends Are Dead. Oh. And when I read the description of it, it doesn’t sound like it’s connected to this movie at all, but it’s a similar thing. It’s like a group of friends all get together to go to a concert until they start getting picked off one by one.

Okay, like you said, like every slasher movie ever, but it’s gonna, uh, they just cast Jojo Siwa in it. Oh, really? Um, that was the only Who is that? I don’t know. Oh my, well, she’s She’s a huge teen pop star. Like, yeah, she’s huge. Especially with, like, tween 

Todd: girls. Oh. Well, I’m not a tween girl, to be fair. And I haven’t been living in the 

Craig: U.

S. for two years. I know, JoJo Siwa 

Todd: was. Oh, okay, so that sounds stupid. That’s like me asking, like, who’s this Britney Spears I’ve been to? Right. 

Craig: Kind of. I mean, she’s not that big, but she definitely has a really, really Like, rabid fanbase of tween girls. She started out as a little girl on the show Dance Moms.

Do you know what that is? I’ve, I’ve heard of it, yeah. She started out on that, and she’s a very talented young lady. She’s very talented. Now she’s an adult, a young adult. She has come out as queer. She’s still very successful. She did Dancing with the Stars and has done a whole bunch of stuff that’s entirely irrelevant to this movie.

Um, so In 2020, a movie came out called All My 

Todd: Friends Are Dead. Thanks for keeping us on topic, Craig.

I, I have to say, like, uh, I was at first very intimidated by this movie because I could tell that we were going to have a lot of characters to keep track of. Oh my god. Thankfully, I think the movie did a pretty good job of keeping things sorted. Like, people didn’t look like each other. People were kind of in their Different zones of the house for most of the time and it was almost like they were interacting as clumps until you know they didn’t anymore so that doesn’t really concern anybody but two guys who are trying to do a podcast and who need to take notes and remember everyone’s names and the fact that these names are Polish.

I don’t know if they Ameri Did they Americanize the names? Yes, 

Craig: they did. So we may be calling them different things. 

Todd: It would have been easy to do, because like there’s Oliwia, Oliwia, which is like probably Olivia. There’s Filip, which is Philip. Anastasia. I think probably half of our names come from Polish anyway, so.

Honestly, 

Craig: had, had I had more time, and I do, I, you know, I’m on Uh, Christmas break from school. I have all the time in the world, but I’m just playing video games and sleeping. 

Todd: Well, good for you. Why not? It’s your break. 

Craig: Right. Um, I I did have time. I I wish I would’ve watched it again. Because watching it the first time in the first half hour, uh, maybe even a little bit more, I was like, uh, there’s so many people.

Yeah. And I like, and I’m frantically trying to, you know, like, I’m glad that people probably don’t understand. How we how I watch these movies because I don’t I only watch movies like this in podcasts if I was for the podcast If I was just watching this movie by myself, I don’t care what their names are No cares like that guy, whatever who cares but I know I’m gonna have to talk about it later.

So I’m like Like I’m desperate like I’m paying Bird’s eye attention, like, somebody say his name. Somebody say his name so I know who it is. And sometimes I have to put in, like, place fillers, like, uh, brunette, long haired girl. And then try to go back and fill it in when somebody finally does say their names.

And so I was frustrated by that for like the first half hour. And once I got over that, and once I kind of Cause ultimately, you’re right, they’re really not all that hard to keep track of. There are a lot of them. Um, but they’re not all that hard to keep track of. So by the second half, I was far more into it.

I, I watched it in two sittings. Sat down and watched the first half. Said to Alan, Ugh, spoiler alert, it’s a stupid movie. 

Todd: Wow. Early 

Craig: judgment there. And then I sat down. The next day and watch the second half and said to him afterwards, I actually liked the second half. Like I got into it. So I think if I were to watch it again, I might be able to just sit back and relax and enjoy it from beginning to end.

Yeah. Well. All 

Todd: those names and all those people and it’s kind of part of the appeal because it’s, it’s a bit of a high concept and I think it’s very clever that it doesn’t kick off with the party. The movie kicks off with a bit of a wraparound. We’re in present day, it’s New Year’s Day, it’s at a house after some crime and there’s a detective on the scene, I think his name was Gregor, well Who cares, it doesn’t 

Craig: matter.

Todd: This was kind of funny. I thought that, what was great about this movie is it is very much a dark comedy. They took every opportunity to inject some humor in there. But not to the point where it was distracting or it was dumb. I actually think most of it was pretty fun and pretty clever. Yeah. This guy’s new on the scene, and then the old grizzled detective, you know, who’s his new partner, comes up.

They’re going through the house together, and this house was the scene of a party for New Year’s Eve. And every single person in there is dead. Everybody? 

Craig: We’re talking, like, 50 people? 

Todd: The detective says double digits, something about double digits, and I was like, oh my god. And, and I think I read afterwards, online, or in the, the trivia, there’s only 19.

But that’s a hell of a lot of bodies 

Craig: to have to explain. It looks like, oh, yeah, a lot. And it looks like more. Like, imagine a house party, full of people, and they’re all just dead on the floor. And not just 

Todd: Not just like somebody came in and gunned them all down either, there’s somebody hanging, there’s somebody tied up on a bed, there’s like people like crashed on the piano, there’s people, I mean, there’s all these different methods of murder or death that have taken place in this house.

That it’s great because you watch this and you’re like, Oh my goodness. So the story is we’re going to unpack this. We’re going to see how this all took place. 

Craig: Right. And that’s a great lead in because you’re like, what’s no way. What? Unless like, that’s the thing. Unless somebody came in with a machine gun, like it just doesn’t make.

Any sense and and there are all kinds of people. Most of them are teenagers or I don’t know, 20 something. Are they supposed to be 

Todd: 20 somethings? I guess. Yeah, that’s what I would 

Craig: think. There’s one like older woman and like the older detective like leans down and Takes off her necklace and gives it to the younger detective.

He’s like, oh yeah, evidence. And he’s like, no, my wife’s going to love this. Yeah, silly little things. And then there was one thing that I, they’re just looking around and it doesn’t, it’s inconsequential really, except for the fact that when they walk into one room, maybe it’s where the pizza delivery guy is hanging.

And you can tell he’s a police. He’s. In a uniform. Mm hmm. The young cop sees it and barfs. I think this is before they’ve seen the room full of bodies. Yeah. Um, this is the first body they come upon. It’s in the bathroom and he kneels down at the toilet and throws up. And the guy hands him some toilet paper and he wipes his mouth with it and flushes it down the toilet.

And then he’s like, Hey, wait, where’d you get that paper? I hope it wasn’t important. And I’m like, Well, obviously! Uh huh. Ha 

Todd: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 

Craig: Little things like that, like, that’s just briefly mentioned in the first, like, three minutes. By the time that it came back up in the last three minutes, Oh God. I had forgot, I had forgotten about 

Todd: it.

There are, there are payoffs for everything in here. Actually, I think this movie’s very, very clever, and we’ll talk about it later, because once you start thinking about it, there’s some things inserted in here, there’s some thematic elements and stuff that are, that are interesting. Some things I had to kind of read about online afterwards because I wasn’t absolutely certain and I needed some clarification on, but The writer director, uh, I don’t know if it’s Jan or Jan or something like that, Belci Oh, Belci, I don’t even know how to pronounce these Polish names!

There are no vowels and it’s all consonants smashed together But it’s like Jan Belcil or something like that, um, from Slovenia uh, moved to Warsaw in 2015 and uh Uh, he was a first time writer director, I think, on this one. He had just, uh, created a TV miniseries before this, which had five episodes, so. He put a second movie together called Girls to Buy, which is after this one, which sounds like more of a drama about prostitutes.

Doesn’t have anything in the works, at least as far as IMDb goes, but I think, um, this is a very great first feature for any up and coming director, because the writing is smart, it’s, it’s very Like you said, like, the first half to three quarters, really, of this movie is just shenanigans at a party. We’ve seen so many teen party movies, shenanigans happening, things like that.

It’s really hard, maybe, to keep that fresh and interesting. And there were moments early on in this movie where I thought I was gonna get bored. Because I don’t necessarily When you sit down to watch a horror movie, you’re not really that interested and In so much character development. It’s so funny, like, we say these things back and forth.

It’s like, too much character development. Not enough character development. Right? In this case, after I’d seen the movie for about 20 minutes, I was like, you know what? This film has done an excellent job of developing these characters through funny dialogue, through witty and interesting interactions that I felt were not So cliche, you know, they were still kind of 

Craig: fresh.

They’re relatively flat, like, but everybody at least has a distinctive person characteristic and it’s not just stereotypes. I mean, it is, there are stereotypes. What I was going to say before is. I think the movie is incredibly well written because the relationships between the characters are intricate.

It is a spider’s web of relationships. And, and that’s essential. To the plot. Without this spiderweb of interlaced relationships, the plot wouldn’t happen, because it’s a Rube Goldberg contrivance of a series of events that are dependent on it. Upon these relationships. Yeah, like any it’s it’s it’s American pie basically, and that it’s a bunch of teenagers 20 somethings humping and drinking and doing drugs and playing guitar and dancing and flirting and cheating and boyfriending and girlfriending and Proposing it.

Yeah, it’s all of that American pie type comedy stuff But then, through a series of events, They all start getting killed. But the other thing is that it’s also more creative than our typical fare, Because it is not a slasher. Yeah. Most, I, oh my gosh, I’m racking my brain. Most of the deaths in this movie, Keep in mind, we just told you, they all f ing die.

Yeah. Most of the deaths in this movie, 

Todd: Yeah, at least it starts out that way. It becomes carelessness, accident, things like that. And it’s funny because the one person who seems to take action to actually want to murder somebody in this movie Ends up f ing instead. 

Craig: Oh god. So crazy. Like, I, I We’re just so smart.

I loved it. Well, it was crazy at the end. We’re, we’re jumping ahead of ourselves. There’s like this huge climax Oh god. Like this violent violent climax. But in the midst of it, there is also the raunchiest sex scene that we’ve seen yet. Like, there has been there has been sex, like So much sex happening throughout this whole movie.

But for the most part, everybody like has their clothes on. Yeah. Which, which makes sense. You’re at a party. Like, you know, anybody could walk in any time. Right. You usually don’t strip nude as you might in your home, but these folks in the end do, and damn. Seriously, that’s the end, and I don’t want to jump to the end, but at the same time, what can we do?

There are a thousand characters, and it is so heavily plotted. Yeah. I guess we should just kind of start with the inciting incident. Like, there’s all these characters, they’re mostly twenty somethings. They’re in various stages of relationships, um, but this one girl who kind of seemed like she was going to be the main girl, she’s the girl on the cover art, she’s got like stickers on her face.

Yeah, 

Todd: like glitter, I think, like, this is a thing, yeah, the little glittery, uh, 

Craig: And she’s got a boyfriend, but there’s this photographer guy, and she happens to see that he’s been taking pictures of all night. She, you know, gets her hands on his camera or whatever. So she’s, and her boyfriend’s a douche, and so she starts flirting with him, and they end up in, like, a library or something.

She’s also, like, an as Astrologist, like she’s very into like astrology and stuff and she has this whole conversation about like stars aligning and the universe, you know, everything, everything happens for a reason and fate 

Todd: and star signs. She tries to guess the Philip, I think it’s name is Philip is the photographer’s name.

She tries to guess his star sign and then tell him all about himself and she does and she’s startlingly accurate. And then he turns around and this was, this was clever too. He took, cause I know this is all bullshit personally. I I’m sorry if you believe it, but it’s bullshit. Anyway, he turns around. 

Craig: Okay.

It’s my turn now. Uh, here, open your hand up for me. You have a palm and five fingers stop. No, this hand belongs to someone who’s stubborn. Also an air sign and fiercely individual, but intensely loyal. You’re very. Not very patient and kind of intolerant. Oh. What? Here, on the lifeline, there’s some kind of darkness.

Upheaval that impacted your life choices. And the X’s right here? They say that you were hurt. A friend or lover betrayed your trust. You have Aquarius’s sensual lips.

How did you know all that? I’m psychic. You know, the age of Aquarius is the air sign of fantasy. A blissful liberation. Of desire between Libra and Aquarius that knows no bounds. I believe it. Mm-Hmm, . It’s too bad In a parallel universe where we’re both single, who knows what could happen. I know 

Todd: later on in the movie, they’re in the midst of chaos.

She’s like, I told you all the stars are lining. This is, this was the faded. This is gonna happen. And he says, no, they’re not. She’s like, but you read me. You knew my, you knew my stuff. He’s like, it was bullshit. And he lists off all the ways that he basically did a cold reading on her. He is like. Aries, because Aries is the most I just guessed Aries, because that’s like my mom’s star sign, it’s the only one I knew.

Craig: Oh my god, you saying that out loud now connects to something else later. Mm hmm, yeah. 

Todd: That’s so funny. Yeah, and then, and then like, you know, he tells her, and then I just knew that most girls are like this, and most people like this, and like, whatever it is, like, I just guessed all that stuff, I don’t know anything about 

Craig: you.

I feel like we’re gonna have to fly through all of this because there’s so much. So anyway, she takes him off to like a library and she’s flirting with him and like super super flirting with him. Oh my god, I remember being in college. I remember being like that like 

Todd: being 

Craig: in those scenarios where like it’s hyper sexual and it’s like, Lillie won’t we?

I don’t know. But anyway, like she finds a key. To something, and it turns out to be, like, to a gun safe, or a gun box or something. She pulls out a gun, and she’s like, she’s swinging it around, pointing at him, and he keeps saying, don’t point it at me! Ugh. I’m like a dumbass. These things, this is a dark comedy, so I’ll allow it.

But these things make me so uncomfortable because people honestly just don’t understand how powerful guns are and they’re, they’re nothing to be messed with. Young people out there, if you’re ever at a party and you’re drunk and you find somebody’s gun, don’t touch it. Don’t touch it. Leave it where it is.

Don’t even touch it. Leave it alone. 

Todd: People have seen too many movies too and they just swing guns around like it’s nothing, like Oh my God, a gun can go off and yes, then someone is dead. It is just, you just don’t play around with it. Definitely not like this girl is, and definitely not like the girls later are just like spinning it around their finger.

I know, like the Cowboys in a movie. I was on the edge of my seat just because of that 

Craig: I know. Well, and, and I mean, like I said, it’s a dark. Comedy, what we’re talking about is ultimately what happens. Like she’s mes he’s going to show her how to shoot it. But instead, as he’s like helping her aim with her other hand, she’s reaching into his pants and jerking him off.

And then they start banging on the desk and she’s just waving the gun around. 

Todd: Yeah, she just got it over her head while she’s laying down and just waving the gun around like, drop that thing. Well, don’t drop it actually. No, don’t! S 

Craig: like, stop having sex, put the gun safely away and resume. This is, uh, What we’re talking about is exactly what happens.

The, uh, host of the party hears them, and yeah, Merit, whatever, he’s this doofy looking, well, I mean, he’s a good looking guy, but he’s supposed to be kind of a butthead, I guess, I don’t know, whatever. I 

Todd: don’t know, I thought he came across, like, at first I thought, okay, this is the butthead guy, but then He’s a little charming, and then you kind of think about, maybe he’s not that bad, 

Craig: you know, but, uh.

No, I, we, we barely get to know him at all. No, sadly. He, he does stiff, uh, the pizza guy. That’s true. Which wasn’t very nice. But, he just peeks in, cause he hears somebody banging, and they get startled, and he slams the door, and she pulls the trigger, and shoots him in the f Head blood splatters on the painting behind him and he falls dead and he’s dead and that sets off a series 

Todd: of events, right?

But not quickly 

Craig: everyone dies. No, not necessarily. Now, I don’t even understand. Now, what is this? Philip or Philippe or whatever thinking is like intent on hiding the body. So now it becomes a hide the body farce for about. Ten minutes 

Todd: more than that, but yeah, I mean it’s ten minutes because it keeps coming back Like this is the thing like the party stops for a minute because they hear a noise and then they all start up again So like where we know that nobody really heard what was going on Nobody really cares only this couple knows what happened and even at first She, and I think her name is Anastasia, She at first doesn’t realize he’s dead, because Phillip is like, Oh, he’s sleeping, haha, kind of drags him off, he’s jokey meric or whatever.

And she’s 

Craig: not quite sure. Uh, I think she knows. She knows it’s the other girl, Olivia, who is Daniel or he’s, they’re all like interrelated. This, this girl, Olivia comes, he happens to be the sister of another character. Daniel, who is engaged or no, is, is proposing to Angelica. I swear to God, so many characters.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter. A girl comes in and he’s like, No, she’s, he’s just asleep. And she’s like, isn’t that blood on the floor? And he’s like, no, it’s ketchup. And she’s like, I think it’s blood. And he grabs a piece of pizza off the floor? And dips it in the blood and eats it? Oh god, that was so gross. And says, Mmm, ketchup.

Todd: By the way, did you know, I don’t know, because it’s not common in the States, but did you know that it’s very common, at least in Asia, to put ketchup on your pizza? No. Pizza I order here is like, uh, it comes with ketchup packets. Yeah. Ketchup’s 

Craig: delicious on pizza. Really? Sometimes, yeah, sometimes Alan and I make cheeseburger, like bacon cheeseburger pizza and we just mix ketchup and mustard for the 

Todd: sauce.

Oh, that’s good. Okay, yeah, 

Craig: well. Or, or, just on a regular pizza, just like put a little bit of ketchup on top before you bake it and then it caramelizes. 

Todd: Now I think you’re weird, but that’s okay. You want to know a secret? You want to know a secret thing though, just so to even things out. In Japan, it’s common to put mayonnaise on pizza.

Mayonnaise on pizza is also fucking delicious. Really? 

Craig: I’ve not tried that. Like, like, just shmear it on a slice? Like, 

Todd: they literally, like, have bottles for squirting mayonnaise on things. Like, they’ll put mayonnaise on rice and things like that and it’ll look streaks, you know. But, I found the best way is, yeah, like, mix it in with the cheese a little bit so you don’t even really know it’s there.

But it adds this, like, tanginess to that cheese in there. 

Craig: Oh, like before 

Todd: you bake it? Well, that’s what I do. That’s not what they do in Japan. They literally just squirt it over it after the fact. Yeah, I was 

Craig: gonna say, like, if you bake it, doesn’t it just kind of turn into oil? Welcome to our cooking 

Todd: show!

I’m telling you, try it next time. Either squirt it over the top, which is also delicious, or do what I do and put it in and cook it with it. Either way, you get this really great kind of tangy flavor that is just Awesome. 

Craig: Is the mayonnaise in China the same as it is in America? Because one of the cooking ladies that I watch on, you know, on, uh, Facebook always uses Kewpie mayonnaise.

Yeah, it’s 

Todd: Japanese. It’s Japanese and, and, but yeah, it tastes different. But it’s kind of like, in America you’ve got like mayonnaise and you have like Miracle Whip, right? They both have very distinct flavors. I’d say Kewpie mayonnaise is a little closer to Miracle Whip in that it’s a little sweeter. 

Craig: That was fascinating.

What were we 

Todd: talking about? The blood of the people. Ketchup! Ketchup! He drags the body into a room, then the girl comes in, and they hide the body in the closet, Angelica comes in, she’s freaking out, they get under the bed because two, three other people come in. Yes! This is 

Craig: my favorite part of the whole movie.

This is great. 

Todd: My favorite part of the movie. Oh, it’s fantastic. You’re right. There’s a Mormon missionary, Merrick, By the way, we do get introduced to everybody else, sort of at the beginning, because as Daniel and, uh, and Angelica, I think, come into the party at the very beginning, Merrick kind of like gives them a tour and tells them a little bit about everybody.

And this is where, by the way, having subtitles is really handy, because you can just type it in. Um, but also, but, but he mentions, oh, and this guy, he’s just a missionary that, a Mormon missionary that showed up at my door and I invited to the party and his partner didn’t want to come. Yes. He ended up coming, and Jacques?

Is going, starting to go crazy, uh, as he gets more and more drunk, but he’s also feeling guilty 

Craig: about it. Somebody gives him, it’s a beverage, somebody gives him like a bottle to drink from, and in my subtitles, it said, like it, it translated the bottle and it said that it was a hallucinogenic. Drink. Oh, I don’t know, uh, what it was, but it’s, it said hallucinogenic, which makes sense because he hallucinates then throughout the rest of the movie.

Right. Who does he get dragged in there by first? The twins. The slutty twins? Yes. It’s 

Todd: first The slutty twins. Yes, because they’re the ones who are dancing on him. God, I. Man, when I was in college, I wish I had slutty twins like this at a party. They just seem like a lot of fun. 

Craig: Oh my god, they are so horny.

They are the horniest girls that have ever lived. And they get this missionary in there and he, like, he’s trying to resist, but these girls are not gonna take no for an answer. Um, the dead body and Philip are just like Hiding it on the corner of the, and the girl too, 

Todd: I think the girl they’re hiding underneath the bed for a minute.

The body kind of falls out of the closet, but they don’t really, they’re like kind of looked down like, Oh, look another person. I don’t know. They, for a while, this body is kind of there out in the open, but I think either people just assume he’s passed out or whatever. And. And they don’t really 

Craig: What’s so funny to me is that these girls just ravage this boy.

Like, they are, they are taking turns on him. Like, it is nuts. Um, and he had tried to resist and talk about, you know, like, no. We believe that sex is for marriage only and I don’t know, but he is getting laid and it keeps happening. That’s what’s so funny. Like women, it’s so stupid. Women just can’t keep their hands off this guy.

That’s right. And he just keeps finding himself getting grabbed by gorgeous women and thrown on beds and RIDDEN. 

Todd: RIDDEN! RIDDEN. And so then he starts hallucinating Jesus. 

Craig: And then Jesus is there for the rest of the movie, which I also thought was hilarious. Oh, it was 

Todd: so great. Like, at one point, so the girls leave.

And he’s feeling guilty, he sits down and kneels in front of the door and he prays to this crucifix. It might be another room by then, I can’t remember. Anyway, he’s praying to this crucifix that’s hanging over the door, and at this point, the MILF jumps in. Now this is another woman who’s central to the plot, her name was, um, I love her, 

Craig: Gloria.

She was my favorite. Yeah, at one point she dances for a long time to, I don’t know who it is, is it Blondie? Gloria? But the song from the 80s, and it’s great. It’s a great dance song. 

Todd: It’s my song! 

Craig: And yeah, so she’s like the MILF who shows up with Some guy, I don’t know, whatever, but she makes it very clear from the very beginning in that introductory package.

He’s like, Hey, this is my girlfriend. She’s like, no, no, no, no, I’m not his girlfriend. We’re just friends, you know, we’ve been hanging out or whatever. And she’s insistent about it, but she is very attractive. She’s probably what our age. 

Todd: Yeah, we’re milf age. Are we? Yeah, 

Craig: she’s, she’s very beautiful, but she’s also incredibly out of place in this.

I mean, she doesn’t act like it and nobody else acts like it either, like she’s just having a good time and everybody’s 

Todd: down. There’s a whole sequence at the beginning where it’s like guy after guy are having these little mini conversations about her, which is making, you know, her date there nervous because he is taking this relationship completely seriously.

And she is absolutely like, no, no, no, this is just fun. And at one point, she has to take him out to the outside because he’s pissed because She’s just been in with somebody, but they haven’t actually done anything. It’s the Dumb and Dumber twins. 

Craig: I know exactly where you’re going. Right, like, she had, she, the Dumb and Dumber guys, there are these two guys who are always trying to hook up with girls and do The dorky guys trying 

Todd: to get 

Craig: laid.

Right, and like, they want to have a threesome with her or whatever. And she just messes with them. She makes them, like, dry hump each other and stuff with the promise of hooking up with her. But, she gets caught by her Quote unquote boyfriend, Pawel, and he takes her outside so that they, she, he can profess his undying love and then She gives what I thought was a very poignant and well written monologue.

Todd: Yes! She just lays it out for him in the best way. What 

Craig: are you so scared of? You think I’m in over my head and if I end up getting hurt you’ll have yourself to blame? Do you really think that with a 17 year age gap you’re the one most likely to get hurt? Right now, dating an older woman is fantastic. I’m the MILF that all your friends envy.

Yes! The best sex of your life. That’s because I have a lot more experience than those girls in there. Seventeen years, to be precise. But that doesn’t matter. You brag about it, Pavel. Love isn’t bragging. I love and respect you. I brag about us. There is no us. You wanna have kids? Of course. Very much.

Wonderful. If we’re lucky, in nine months or so, we’ll have a son who we’ll name, pfft, Chris. And we’ll be one happy family, sleepless nights, changing, feeding, soothing him, but we’ll survive. And eight years from now, you’ll hit your thirties, and I’ll be past fifty. My boobs will sag and swell. I’ll find more wrinkles and gray hairs every single day.

Not quite the MILF anymore. You get yourself a tasty little side piece named Kasia, who rocks your world. You travel for work all the time, your kid misses you all the time, and I cover for your filthy little lies all the time. My self esteem goes out the window with my looks and my husband. When you do manage to come home, we fight constantly about every little thing.

The kid hears it, he thinks I’m evil. He thinks I’m being mean to his Perfect little daddy, Kasia never has to deal with any of the shit. She’s always in a good mood. So you decide to go and live with her and take our kid along for the move because he thinks I’m a bad mother and the blame for that will be online.

And only a woman of her age. And I speak as a man of her age would understand. She is preaching. She is telling us the honest to God truth. She was great. Yeah, I, you know, it’s the same thing, like, I’m no milf, but if I were the equivalent of that and could pull like young hot guys and was single I would know.

Like, no, this isn’t a relationship thing. Like, I’m old enough to be your dad. It may be fun for a little while, but it’s not gonna work out. Here’s why. It’s even more complicated, I think, in a heterosexual relationship, which she makes clear. And then You find out later that she’s telling her own story. Uh huh.

Basically, she just doesn’t want a repeat of what her life has already been. Which is, uh, you know, getting with a guy based on being good looking and, you know, they’re in love or whatever and then she has a kid and then he finds somebody younger and cuter and less complicated and goes off with him and she, and takes the kid and blah, blah, blah.

Great monologue. Yeah. 

Todd: When then later, we find out that she’s Phillip’s mom. That came out of nowhere. That was 

Craig: the big reveal. I did not see that coming anywhere. Because Phillip, who is the guy who’s trying to cover up Merrick’s body. He’s also, at this point, accidentally killed Olivia too. That’s right.

Todd: Cause she just like, 

Craig: she just had a Indescrib I have no idea what, like, he’s just covering her mouth to keep her from screaming, to keep her quiet. And all of a sudden she starts seizing and foaming at the mouth. And she 

Todd: pulls out, like, what I guess is like an EpiPen, right? But it finally falls on the floor, and then he notices it later and tries to stab it into her, but it’s too late, she’s dead, and he’s crying.

Actually, I thought this was Is she 

Craig: allergic to hands? I don’t understand. 

Todd: Maybe it’s I don’t know. I don’t know what all the different afflictions you can have if you’re What’s the word? Epileptic or whatever? I don’t know. I don’t know how that stuff works, but Yeah, good question. It’s not epilepsy. That’s not what EpiPens are for.

What is it? There’s a certain condition where you just get seizures sometimes, right? That’s true. There are lots of seizure 

Craig: disorders, but EpiPens are for allergic 

Todd: reactions. Are they only, though? I think so. There’s other drugs. Welcome to our medical podcast. We were much better at cooking than we are at medicine, I think.

Yeah. Yeah.

Craig: So he’s already, so this guy, Philip, the photographer, has already killed her too. Not on purpose, but now there’s a couple bodies laying around. And so he has to get out of the room that he’s in. So he wears a bare skin rug. For reasons I don’t understand, is he trying to be incognito? 

Todd: I think so. I think it’s the best thing he can think of to cover himself up so people can’t see who he is.

He also doesn’t 

Craig: have a shirt on. I thought he trying to stay warm 

Todd: as well. Yeah, because he climbs out the window. But 

Craig: people sitting down. In the lawn, think it’s an actual bear, because there are actual bear noises. What? Yeah. 

Todd: Why were there actual 

Craig: bear noises? That’s true. I don’t understand that. But anyway, he sees Gloria having sex with somebody else.

No, it’s the I don’t even remember. The 

Todd: missionary. In her frustration, she runs in the house, and first she’s upset, and then she’s like, Ah. Ah. Forget it, I’m just going to take control of this situation. She goes up, she opens the door, she sees the missionary who was praying to that, um, that crucifix, grabs him and starts banging him on the bed, starts riding him.

And at that moment, the missionary looks up at the crucifix and Jesus winks at him. Yes. 

Craig: He also has, he also has a talk with Jesus at some point where he says, like, I know that, you know, you said we’re not supposed to have sex, but I just had sex with these two girls and it was awesome. So, I’m changing my 

Todd: philosophy.

Please just make me a sex machine. I’m gonna 

Craig: be a sex machine. A sex machine! 

Todd: And it’s like Jesus granted his prayer. It’s hilarious. 

Craig: Oh, it’s, it is so funny. Funny, and he’s just this unassuming guy, like just an average, average guy. And these people can’t keep their hands off of him. Oh, so much else is going on.

Like, honestly, I feel like we are building to the end, which is fine. But if, if you’re interested in this movie. You should watch it because there is so much there’s intrigue It’s this movie is cut so that you’re just seeing like two or three minute scenes jumping from people to people to people to people to people and like at some point Anastasia confesses to her boyfriend that she cheated and so he’s mad at Philip, Philipe, Phillip, whatever his name is and Rofl Who is Gloria’s not boyfriend is now mad at the missionary because he walks in on them banging and Daniel and Angelica Daniel has proposed to Angelica in front of everybody and she has run away and there’s a whole scene where they’re yelling at each other through a door and everybody’s listening and She talks about how the reason that she doesn’t want to marry him a union can only be as strong as weakest link Our weakest link is the sex!

You’re lousy in bed, Daniel! You absolutely suck! Newsflash! I’m bored to death having sex with you! It’s always the same f ing routine! One, two, three thrusts and you’re done! Sweetheart? One position, maybe two, in zero imagination. I started doing a grocery list last time we had sex, but I didn’t even finish that!

Todd: There’s nothing in 

Craig: it for Let me in, everyone out here can hear you! Oh good, let them listen! Are you enjoying this? You getting off on it? Cause that’s more than I get! He can’t even go down on me properly! Angelica, I’m begging you! He’s staring into my eyes, which by the way, if they’re open, means I’m not coming!

You told me watching 

Todd: me turns you on! I lied! You’ve had a thousand orgasms! I have 

Craig: never come! I faked them all! Might as well say a million orgasms, because they never ever existed! Daniel, you’re a nice boy, and you’ll make a great man someday, but I need one now! Right now, and I’m sorry if this hurts your feelings, but I want to enjoy my pussy, not marry one.

Now that’s, that’s, that’s how it was translated for me. Yeah. And that was my favorite line. 

Todd: I want to enjoy 

Craig: my pussy, not marry one. Oh God. That was so funny. And then he’s all upset because. She called him a pussy and he’s outside, like, I’m not a pussy, I’ll show her a pussy and he gets an axe. So 

Todd: this, yeah, this was the point, like, the camera pulls back and you see the silhouette of him and the axe there, and he looks at it, and he picks it up.

And this is when I’m thinking, okay, because, by the way, at this point in the movie, I would have turned it off if I had not seen that opening sequence of everybody being dead. Because I’m not really into this kind of drama type stuff anymore, it’s, To me, there are like 15 different movies, more than that, different movies like this.

But because we know everyone’s dying, I’m just, I’m just waiting to see what’s gonna happen. And I was really thoroughly enjoying myself. When I see this guy pick up the axe, I’m like, Aha! Now we’re gonna get our first, like, premeditated murder. But this 

Craig: guy, but he’s such, like, like From the least likely person.

Exactly. I mean, he seems, he just seems like a really sweet, nice guy. He’s, he’s a good looking guy, but he’s not like a boyish, charming Yeah, yeah. He’s, he’s small, he’s short, like, he’s probably about the same height as his girlfriend, who Also, is, you know, like, not a beauty queen, she’s a, she’s an attractive young lady, but she’s not like a stunner.

She’s the 

Todd: female equivalent, she’s like girl next door, cute, kind of conservatively dressed, you know, whatever. She doesn’t seem like she’s gonna be one of these people running around banging everybody like half the other 

Craig: Right, if it, if it weren’t Polish, I would say they’re an all American couple. Right, yeah.

They’re just young, nice people. But you’re right, so you wouldn’t think that he would be the one, and he’s not. He’s not. 

Todd: That’s what’s so great about the movie. It just kept, it kept flipping things a little bit. And so I thought that was funny. He goes in with the axe, all Jack Nicholson style, and starts breaking down the door.

He’s axing through the door, gets a hold of the door, he jumps in at the same moment where it’s cutting between this and the fight that’s happening in the bedroom upstairs, cause it’s Olivia, Jordan is now in there because he’s pissed because Angelica was cheating on him, had confessed to him that she was cheating, Angelica by the way has holed herself up cause she’s just kinda flippin out.

In the laundry room, yeah. Got her, she’s washing her clothes and she’s sitting on top of the laundry. Um, the clothes washer and it, something’s happened with the clothes washer and water’s starting to come out of it and it’s starting to seep. Into the rest of the, of the rooms downstairs, but nobody seems to be noticing.

Craig: And now I’m thinking, okay. Now I see where this is headed. But yeah, but the, the, the fight upstairs is hilarious because it’s just, people just keep coming in. Like, it starts out with just three people. Rafal, is that his name? I don’t know. comes in because Gloria is writing the missionary, so he starts punching the missionary.

But then Philip comes in through the window and starts punching Rafaal and is like, dude, that’s my mom! And this is the, this is the reveal. Yeah. Like you, you already said it before, but this is the first time that we find out that Gloria is Philippe’s mom. So it’s a very Stifler’s Mom kind of 

Todd: situation.

Exactly. And then Jordan comes in, and then he gets hit, and he’s fighting And 

Craig: he punches, he punches Phillip, because Phillip is the guy that his girlfriend cheated on him with, but then, Phillip’s mom, Gloria, is like, Hey, knock it off, and he punches her! Yeah! He thought that was 

Todd: hilarious! Oh my gosh. He just decks her!

That fight kind of starts coming down the stairs. And then suddenly, where did the guns? Oh, because the twins had the guns. The twins 

Craig: have had the guns the whole time. That’s right. The twins have also been molesting everybody that crosses their path. Yes. Um, there’s, there’s one guy that has been tied up on a bed for basically the whole movie.

That was one of the things, like, ultimately I liked this movie, but it Kind of irritated me a little bit that they introduced us to all these characters, some of which are pretty inconsequential. Like, that guy that ends up getting tied up on the bed, his name is Darius. And he’s supposed to be the world’s biggest womanizer.

And there’s a whole scene early on where some girl that he’s hooked up with comes in and confronts him. And I thought that he was gonna be a huge character and you don’t see him again until he’s tied up and gagged on a bed and he remains there the rest of the time. At some point, do those twins stick a hairbrush up his butt?

Todd: Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t notice that. What? I didn’t notice that. I just What? Did I look away from the screen when that went down? 

Craig: They, they’re like, something about he needs a poke, and uh, one of them picks up, remember those hairbrushes that our sisters had in the 80s that were like Uh, 360 round bristle.

Oh yeah, uh huh. I’m sure women still use them, I don’t know. No women live in my house. Um, but one of them picks it up by the bristles and it’s just holding up the handle and says, This’ll work. And then the other twin grabs the handle and flips it over and says, No, I think this way is better. And the guy’s eyes get really big and then it just zooms in on him and he goes, 

Todd: Oh jeez, I did not remember that.

Wow. 

Craig: Yeah, so there’s all kinds of hijinks going on the big fight the big fight somehow ends up moving downstairs where Just, everybody starts fighting? Well, the girl It’s like accidental punches get thrown 

Todd: and things. Accidental punches get thrown, but the party’s still kind of around them. But what basically happens, I think, is one of the twins jumps on somebody.

Craig: Who then Well, the twins come in, Oh, somebody Oh god, this is funny. The two guys that Gloria had made hump each other, Ever since then have had weird tension, which felt very much to me like sexual tension. Like, I thought those guys were gonna hook up for sure. Um, but the bigger one calls the little one gay or something, and so he runs off.

He ends up finding Merritt’s body, holds it in his arms saying, Oh baby, baby! Uh, I don’t know, like I don’t know if they had a relationship, or if 

Todd: He’s very distressed about this, yeah. 

Craig: Yeah, and, and straight guys don’t typically call each other guys, baby? To my knowledge. Not usually, no. Whatever, anyway. So then he’s like, who did this?

So he comes downstairs, all this craziness is going on. The twins walk in, one of them is spinning the gun on her finger. Oh. So he’s like, gun. My boyfriend was shot in the head. It must have been her. So he picks up A baseball bat? He’s got a baseball bat. Yeah. He came in, he came in swinging. Oh yes. He’s got a baseball bat.

And he hits her with it. And explodes one of her boobs. It explodes. It 

Todd: explodes one of her implants or something. It’s like, it gets red and she says, Oh my god, it’s, it’s exploded. It’s never gonna go back.

Craig: But it’s gross. It’s not just like saline. It’s like blood and flesh that explodes. Oh, it’s disgusting. And then, I don’t know what happens from there. 

Todd: Someone leaps on someone’s back. She’s, I think she leaps on his back. Yes. 

Craig: He’s spinning around. The one with the gun. 

Todd: Yes. And this is, this is the only place where I was like, oh, come on.

Well, I mean, you know, relatively speaking, of course. Because she starts shooting the gun as he’s spinning around, and that’s what ends up taking out at least ten 

Craig: people. A bunch, yeah, a lot. But there’s also still fighting going on. 

Todd: There’s no way that gun holds enough ammo for as many times as it goes off, 

Craig: but Oh, absolutely not.

And people are just getting shot right between the eyes, like it’s, it’s Yeah. Insanity, but there’s also the fighting is still going on and I think Gloria ends up killing her son by accident like she tries to hit somebody else and she accidentally hits him. Yeah, and 

Todd: then what somebody goes to hit somebody else and hits the TV and the TV falls down and just narrow barely misses somebody else to get crushed, but then the TV falls into that water.

So there’s water all over the floor, basically all over the downstairs. And that’s what more or less takes out everybody who by this point isn’t already dead. But this scene 

Craig: is so funny because it’s ridiculous, but it’s hilarious. The 

Todd: music that is, is it Bon Jovi? I can’t remember. Can’t remember what’s playing, what music is playing in the background, but it’s some hard rock.

It’s 

Craig: hair. It’s like hair rock. Yeah. 

Todd: Yeah. And everybody is convulsing to the beat of the song, including the random dude who’d wandered in earlier to pick up a guitar. He’s still got the guitar in his hand, and so it looks like he’s playing 

Craig: guitar. Yes! And it’s dead on the piano, but his fingers are twitching.

Todd: Oh my gosh, it was so funny. Oh, 

Craig: I thought It’s ridiculous, but it’s so ridiculous that it works. And the other people, as they’re being electrocuted, just look like dumb Dummies from the 80s had used to dance like that. 

Todd: Yeah, it’s like that headbanging or whatever. It is so 

Craig: funny It is really funny By this point when and you can tell when that fight starts up in the bedroom Oh, by the way, we forgot to mention the guy once once.

Oh, yeah the pizza guy Uh, this poor pizza guy’s got all kinds of problems. Uh, his boss is calling him and yelling at him every five minutes. His mother with Alzheimer’s is home alone and is burning her building down. Like, it’s just a nightmare and he eventually decides to hang himself and he does. But also, when Daniel axed his way into the room, he didn’t kill Angelica, they just had the wildest sex ever, and that was one of her complaints, was that he was fast and boring.

And now, they are porn star banging. 

Todd: Yes, on everything, in the room, in every position, while everybody else is dying. 

Craig: And the climax, the climax of them dying, is him pissing on her. This, this movie treats. Golden showers, like they’re a hot, sexy thing. 

Todd: That was the payoff from an earlier line where somebody was mad at somebody else and screamed at him, I I even let you give me a golden shower!

And then she had looked at David and said, You were never giving me a golden shower. And he’s like, I know. 

Craig: But he does, and she likes it just like And the way that it’s shot, like it’s shot between his legs. And we, like I said, we have seen so much. sex before this, but they are naked and he is like, you don’t see his penis.

That’s the only thing that you don’t see, but you just see him. Pissing on her face and tits, like, what? When did I come to this movie? I 

Todd: know, right?

I think I must have switched tabs on my computer. 

Craig: Right. Jeez. But anyway, so everybody gets electrocuted except for this one girl who’s been on Molly the whole time. I don’t know. You just see her dancing. The whole time. She’s the only one who’s like, because she’s dancing on a platform or something, and she doesn’t even realize everybody’s dead.

Anastasia comes out. She was sitting on the dryer, so she was okay, too. She comes out and she finds everybody dead. She sees the gun and she picks it up, and she hears something behind her, and so she immediately just turns and shoots, and ends up shooting That’s right. 

Todd: David and Anastasia, 

Craig: yeah. Like, he’s standing behind her.

Like, he’s got his arms draped over her shoulders. And she shoots through both 

Todd: of them. It’s like she shoots through their hearts. Did you notice that? 

Craig: Yes. Stupid. Stupid. Um, and then I don’t know. I don’t remember what happens. What happens 

Todd: to her? She slips and falls. And so she, cause she ends up being the only person who actually survives this.

She slips and falls and knocks her head. So she’s like kind of paralyzed, I guess. But she’s making groaning noises, and I think she’s the one who, in the very beginning, we see getting pulled out of the, the wreckage. 

Craig: No. No, she’s dead. That’s the Molly girl. It’s the Molly girl? Are you sure? Uh huh. Yes, because she says, I promise I’ll never do drugs again.

Todd: But Anastasia also did drugs, and she’s the one who kind of set it all off. 

Craig: I think it’s the Molly girl, because I don’t think we ever see the Molly girl die. Well, she just 

Todd: kind of falls. I don’t know. I thought maybe she was just dead from dehydration because the whole Well, that could be. Yeah. I thought it was her.

Well, I’d have to go back and check to know for sure, but Who knows? 

Craig: Whatever. It doesn’t matter. She trips and hits her head on a stair or a ledge or whatever. And then, you get A voiceover. Yes. Now, first of all, the music starts playing and it’s the House of the Rising Sun, which is a great song and really well suited to the tone of this ending.

But you get this voiceover, which I only wrote the first part down because I, maybe, if you have time you’ll put it in, I don’t know, but it’s, Chemistry is the study of matter. And you come to find out that This is the suicide note of the pizza guy that he has written on toilet paper before he hangs himself in the bathroom.

And he just talks about how everything is interrelated, and 

Todd: Some things repel each other, some things don’t, everything’s atoms. Are attracted 

Craig: to each other, 

Todd: right. So he’s clearly like, he’s a chemist, he’s like a closet chem, or he’s like studying chemistry or something. 

Craig: But it also is all applicable to the events, you know, like Yes, it’s like a 

Todd: commentary on what just 

Craig: happened.

Everything’s connected, everything’s connected. And he says, uh He got kicked out of school or something, but I did stumble across the cure for Alzheimer’s. So hopefully at least that will be my legacy. 

Todd: Benefit to humanity. I’m leaving it right here and you can see on the note that he’s written these chemical formulas or something.

Yeah. 

Craig: And then it goes back to the cops, and they’re like, looking easily, they’re like, Well, he’s obviously a delivery guy, who knows what happened. No sign of a suicide note, so I guess we’ll never know. That was the toilet paper that the one cop had given to the other to wipe his mouth off after he barfed in the beginning.

Todd: Yeah, so we’ve lost the cure for Alzheimer’s. 

Craig: It’s gone. Yeah, it’s gone. And then Like, okay, the movie’s over, but no, it isn’t because then we attend Angelica and Daniel’s wedding in heaven. If you’re not keeping up with these names, the people that we described as the all Americans, the dirty sexers, um, now we’re at their wedding in heaven, except I don’t think it’s supposed to be heaven.

Todd: Yeah, it’s perhaps, I mean, you could read it however you want because thematically it’s all the same. But this is sort of an alternate reality where they did get married and everybody else kind of got along and like all of these Relationships that were in turmoil were resolved in different ways Yeah, 

Craig: gloria catches the bouquet and reunites with paul And philip takes their picture, like he’s cool with it.

Um, and Merit and Rafal, the two guys make out. Uh, the only ones that don’t work out are Anastasia and Jordan. She’s still bored with him. So instead she pairs up with the pizza guy and she’s like, wait a second. Aren’t you that guy that cured Alzheimer’s? Yeah. That was me. And so she takes him back to the same library that she had taken Philippe to before, and we don’t see this.

We just hear it. She’s like, Hey, what’s this weird key? And then you hear a gunshot again, and then it goes. To credits. Yeah. Like, so like, even in the alternate world, she’s still a dummy. 

Todd: Or even in the alternate world, things are still fated to turn out the same way. It’s weird, but you know, I think it all kind of thematic, this is what I thought was so clever about.

One of the things I thought was so clever about the writing was just how it all wrapped up and how it actually had a theme to it, you know, and had this idea because they talk about star signs and they talk about who’s aligned and who’s not and, you know, the girl saying the stars are aligned. I think the whole concept here is that all these people at this party were sort of cosmically faded to this, but then this alternate reality shows, well, what if it was different?

What if, you know, everybody did kind of get along? And then that, that kind of zinger at the end says, even so they’re still faded to this end, you know, I don’t know, you know, it’s just something to think about. It’s kind of this notion bounced back and forth that just a cute way I thought to wrap up the movie.

That kind of hangs over the whole movie. I just, I just thought it was so clever, the writing was so 

Craig: smart. I liked it because it made it a little less gloomy. Yeah, that’s true. Because those, those characters, I actually liked them. And I, I, I knew they were going to all end up dead. I knew that going in. Um, but I actually came to like them, so it was kind of nice.

Uh, I don’t know if you know this or not, we may have talked about it for all I know, but um, That’s how Heathers was supposed to end too. Oh really? After the end and everybody was dead, there was supposed to be a scene in Heaven with all of the people who had died. Show that they were all in heaven and they ultimately I don’t remember if they filmed it or not but it was definitely scripted and they ended up not doing it and just leaving it bleak and you could have left this bleak but and heathers is a comedy too but this is a comedy and I would rather walk away from it feeling light.

Yeah as opposed to heavy 

Todd: it was proper I think it just it was fitting for the tone of the movie you know the whole movie does not meant to be taken seriously. These horrible things are happening. It’s nice to have this ending that’s a little more uplifting and upbeat. It just rounded out the experience for me and made me enjoy the movie that much more.

I, I, don’t get me wrong, and we’ve talked about this millions of times on the podcast before, bleak endings are great. Yeah. Um, and a lot of times they’re fitting and sometimes it’s annoying when there should be a bleak ending and there’s something happy tacked on. Agreed. You know, it kind of reminded me, um, Do you remember Very Bad Things?

Did you ever see that? Mm mm. That, um, Cameron Diaz, Daniel Stern, there are a whole bunch of stars in it. It was a 90’s movie that I think a lot of people have forgotten about. Because it was just the darkest comedy you’ll ever see. Like, horrible, horrible things are happening that are being made light of.

And that’s how dark comedy works. But at the end of it, you just leave, like, Oh my god, I need to take a shower. It’s, it’s fine. I don’t want to be too critical of it, but my god, like, if this movie had ended how Very Bad Things was ending, and that’s the direction I thought it was going, I know I would have left here just emotionally a little shaken.

You know what I mean? And in this case, like, uh, like we just said, it, it, the balance was just perfect. And not only that But it, again, it, it spoke to the theme that he was going for with the film, which I thought was just supremely 

Craig: clever. Yeah, I thought it was, I, ultimately I walked away from it really satisfied.

Yeah, I said earlier, it’s American Pie. And I think I said that largely because of the mom, the hot mom character, and also because it’s raunchy. But, uh, as far as, like, structure goes, it’s also a lot like that 2000s, uh, uh, teen movie Can’t Hardly Wait. Where it’s a bunch of different characters at a party and interacting, um, at a party.

Gosh, you know, it’s New Year’s Eve, there’s a New Year’s Eve countdown, like, the big finale basically starts at midnight on New Year’s. I really enjoyed it. Again, like I said before, I, it felt a little tedious in the beginning, but I really think that that was just because I was working. Yeah. 

Todd: Like, if you’re 

Craig: just watching it for fun, I don’t think it’ll bother you so much.

No. And the payoff is fun. Ultimately, I thought it was a really fun movie. I know you watched the subtitled one. Good for you, Smarty Pants. Um, but, uh, the dub is, is quite good. It, it, it doesn’t, it’s not off putting. It’s, it doesn’t pull you out. So. If you prefer a dub, it’s perfectly fine. And really, I think this is my favorite one that we watched of the holiday season.

It was a lot of 

Todd: fun. It was the most fun of the ones we watched. I mean, without being just totally bonkers out there, I think my second favorite was definitely the, uh, the crazy killer Samurai movie, but that’s because it was bonkers and a little inept. This one was just a clever, fun, great movie. I mean, it’s, it’s horror, but.

Most of it’s drama, comedy, you know, it’s just kind of all there. But it is bloody. 

Craig: Violent. 

Todd: And it’s also fitting for the year. We don’t know what’s going to happen with the new year and things may seem bleak and stuff, but maybe everything will turn out okay. And, uh, and we gotta have hope and this movie does end on a hopeful kind of note in its own way.

It’s nice. It’s a good thing to do for 2024. 

Craig: Yeah, and again, uh, I’m gonna just jump on the optimism wagon. I know that a lot of people have had a lot of struggles. I know that there’s a lot of conflict in the world. But I’ve had a pretty good year, you know. Friends and family are healthy, um, and, uh, I’m surrounded by people I love.

I’ve got great friends, uh, I’ve got people all over the world writing to us, you know, saying really nice things. Um, it’s, it’s been a good year for me, and I hope it has been for all of you, and whether it has been or not. I hope that 2024 is even better, and I think it can be. 

Todd: You know, my job has been good and stable, and I’m here with family and friends right now.

We’re all able to get together for the first time in a very long time that my sisters and I have been in the same room. I mean, it’s been at least a decade. Uh, and we were all able to get together with my parents for the holidays, so I, I’m going out on 2023 on a great note. 2023 itself has been really positive for me.

So, uh, I just want to say, uh, put it out there, though, that I also feel optimistic personally. It’s gonna be a big year. Whoo! What a time it’s gonna be. So, it’s gonna be an exciting year, if nothing else, uh, and I’m really, I’m really anxious for it, and because I’m a positive, optimistic dude, I’m going to be optimistic, and I’m gonna send my positive energy out there.

Uh, to hope that that has some effect, and I encourage you guys to do the 

Craig: same. Yeah, and we’ll keep trying to bring positivity here, too, so 

Todd: Yes, this is our refuge, you know. We don’t want to be a space of negativity. Ha ha ha ha ha! This is our refuge. This is the moment during the week when we can just sit back and laugh and have a good time no matter what’s happening.

I’d enjoy each other’s company. And so we’re going to make sure the show stays that way as well. Well, uh, thank you so much for all of your messages that you’ve been sending us. Uh, we will get back to those. We can’t wait to see what the new year brings with new listeners and new feedback from you guys, please go to our website, chainsaw horror.

com. Any one of our social media channels. Our link to it from there, you can just Google Two Guys and Chainsaw Podcast. Leave us a note, let us know what you’re, uh, planning for 2024, your outlook on everything, the movies that you would like us to see doing in this next year. We’ve got a theme month coming up in February that was chosen by our patrons that we’re very excited about.

Patreon. com slash Chainsaw Podcast if you’re interested in getting in on that action. Um, on our website there’s a link for you to leave us a voice message. And next week we’re gonna be looking at another voice message. We just love hearing your voices as much as your text. And we do listen to and respond to every single one of those.

So thank you guys so much for your support over these years and for the year to come until next time I’m Todd, and I’m Craig, with two guys and a chainsaw.


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