Lake Placid
One of the most difficult deaths we’ve had to come to terms with this year has been long-time American TV and film icon, Betty White. And wouldn’t you know it, she too has a horror film to her name.
Lake Placid may not be the best movie in the world, but actually it’s not too bad, and we’re lucky that it happens to include one of the incomparable Betty White’s most memorable performances on the silver screen. Enjoy our tribute episode to the world’s favorite golden girl.
Lake Placid ()
Episode 288, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw
Craig: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Craig
Todd: and I’m Todd.
Craig: I have to tell you, this is a day that I knew would come. And, uh, somehow in the back of my mind, I really hoped that by some miracle wouldn’t
Todd: scaring us, Greg you’re scaring us. But,
Craig: uh, I know, well, I mean, it’s, I don’t think that this will come as a shock to anybody.
Um, sadly we ended 2021, which was a rough year anyway. Um, but we ended it by losing just the. Incomparable. Amazing, brilliant. Betty White,
Todd: just an American icon. Ah,
Craig: gee, you know, I think she’s a global icon at this point. And for so many reasons, really, probably the longest spanning career of just about.
Figure and entertainment period ever groundbreaking in so many ways really broke through the glass ceiling for women throughout her career. She started in radio, uh, then, you know, then when a TV happened, you know, she was right there and, uh, early in her career, she was doing. Live on air television for five hours a day, six days a week.
It’s nuts. Unscripted live television, five hours a day, six days a week. I mean, it’s, it’s almost unfathomable. Nobody does. I can’t think of anybody today who could do that with comfort and success, not outside
Todd: of the home shopping network. Right. Right.
Craig: And just went on to have an amazing career, primarily as an actress, but also as a producer, um, host of her own self-titled show very early on before women were doing such things, you know, when she had her own show, the Betty White show.
Talk slash variety type show. She had complete creative control, which again was almost unheard of. You know, she hired a female writers and producers. At one point, she had an African-American performer on her show, a regular. On her show, he was a dancer and, um, she got all kinds of criticism networks and, and television stations, particularly in the south threatened to whole airings of her show.
And her response was too bad deal with it. And in response, instead of taking this performer, I don’t have his name in front of me. I apologize. But instead of. Reducing his role or taking him off altogether. She gave him more screen time and response and faced some backlash for it. Went on to do, you know, amazing television.
You know, she worked with Carol Burnett. She really, I think, made a name for her. Uh, on the Mary Tyler Moore show where she played kind of a Vixen Sue Ellen Nevins, I think was her name on that show. Then what I fell in love with her through was the golden girls. The golden girls was this sitcom about four elderly women that are.
Perception of age has changed so dramatically because when this show premiered, these women were in their fifties, there are shows about women in their fifties today they’ll look very different than the
Todd: golden girls. So true,
Craig: but the golden girls, I mean, it was hilarious. I came home from school. Every day.
And from four o’clock to five, o’clock watched the golden girls in syndication every day after school for years, I still watch that show. It’s hilarious. It broke ground in many ways. It dealt with, um, gay marriage and interracial relationships. And these women, you know, they were older and they were widowed or divorced, but they still had active social, romantic and sexual lives.
It was the kind of thing that. Television had never seen before. And it was wildly popular. And after that she continued to work. Um, she worked in, in film lake Placid lake Placid, by the way,
Todd: the,
Craig: yeah, uh, you know, I, I believe this was her only horror film. Came out in 1999 and she had done some film work before, but this, I think really kind of reinvigorated her film career and she went on to do dozens more films throughout her career. She continued to work in TV. There was a huge online campaign to get her to host Saturday night live, which she did.
And she was just brilliant on. The people who work on Saturday night live said that she was just one of the most gracious and talented hosts that they had ever worked with. I think it was Seth Meyers who said that in all his years on Saturday night live, she was one of, if not, the only host who stayed for the after party.
And stayed for the whole thing. And she was probably in her nineties at that point. And he said that she just, she ordered a hotdog and a vodka,
and she just stayed and spoke to everybody who wanted to talk to her. And by all accounts, she was just a lovely person. And in addition to her work in the entertainment industry, which is groundbreaking and substantial, she was just a wonderful. Human being. She was charitable and kind, and, uh, she was an amazing advocate for animals.
She was a lover of all animals and worked extensively with PETA and. Other animal charities. And in the wake of her death, there was a, a Betty White challenge to donate, um, to animal rescues and humane societies. And it, millions of dollars were generated in her name. And I almost get choked. Talking about, or just because she is so cemented in my brain, uh, you know, I just, I have such, such admiration for her.
It’s such a bitter irony that she passed just days before her hundredth birthday. It’s crazy. Right. And you know, there was a huge tribute planned for her on her hundredth birthday, which they went ahead with and, and there are more attributes in the works. And if anybody deserves them, It’s her and as sad as it is that she’s gone, what an amazing legacy like you, you just can’t help, but celebrate that legacy.
We’re so lucky to have had her. I could go on
Todd: all day. Any of this is hyperbole, really? You know, I mean, now we tend to pile on, you know, The good things about people when they pass, especially famous people that touch us in some way, but she was pretty unique. I would consider her like the great uniter, you know, like there’s nobody who doesn’t love this woman.
I think. I mean, she just,
Craig: there’s something wrong with you, if you
Todd: really, and it’s true and it’s not because she just slunk around and was kind in the background. It didn’t really speak her mind or just, you know, smiled and nodded and agreed with everything. She was her own person. As, as a kid growing up, my most of my experience with Betty White, certainly my first experience with Betty.
Why was, I guess the same as yours on the golden girls, right. Also loved that show. Everybody loved that show. It was funny. You’re right. It was groundbreaking. And her character on that show. Was interesting rose, right? Because she, um, I read about this. I read that when they were, when they were putting the show together and they approached her and asked her if she would like to play this character, she initially refused because the way she read it, she thought this was written and going to be written as kind of a dumb, a dumb woman, kind of a naive, stupid kind of dumb woman.
And she didn’t want to. That way, but they persuaded her and she said, okay, but we’re not going to play it that way. And what kind of comes out of golden girls you realize is, yeah, she’s kind of a little naive. She’s kind of a. Simpler in her thoughts and stuff, but she’s not dumb. She’s very interesting, complicated character.
I mean, as complicated as you can get in a sitcom, right? You don’t get terribly deep and it said calm, but, but she didn’t play it stupid. And I feel like that is sort of the reputation that she had for a whole generation of people. Was this character, you know, so here she is, she’s playing this kind and nice grandmotherly type person that just is sweet and maybe a little naive, but everybody’s going to love her because of it.
Obviously not who she was in real life. But when we see actors on the screen, we tend to imagine them with their roles, you know, and I think this movie like. Was one of the first role she had where itchy surprise people. She surprised people who didn’t know any better because in this movie she’s like the opposite of that.
She’s this strong foul mouth woman who curses and swears and that in itself, Charming. Whoa, here’s the sweet rose, Betty White. Like we just always imagine she’s this way and would never imagine she would play this role where she curses and swears and you know, I mean, it’s silly, but it’s true. People always talk about, and I think this has been bandied about in the media as well, like, uh, oh, your careers had such a resurgence, right?
Oh. You know, people are more interested in you now. You know, you’re all over the internet and there memes made about you and stuff. Don’t you think that’s great. And she would respond and say I’ve been working like every day for most of my life, since I was a young kid, like from her perspective. And really from the perspective of history, her career never stopped.
It kept going, it just like
Craig: expand like
Todd: 80, right. It just, our appreciation of her grew and deepened, I think. And I think. That is why we, she kind of stands the test of time. Really. She never got irrelevant now. She’s just always interesting and always fun. And always there. That is, has been a source of comfort.
What a nice role model, you know, a person to look to. Her career bore that out, her personal life, bore that out and we all loved her for it. And if anything, again, I feels like hyperbole, but if anything, like there’s some good, there’s some hope for humanity at a time when we’re all just kind of down on it right now that there’s a person like this that does exist, that almost everybody universally can.
This is what a good person looks like, right? This is something to aspire to, or at least this is something to admire. And
Craig: there are so many things to admire about her. And you’re right. This movie was surprising and it is so fun to see her because it to see her in something like this, because just her, I think the air that she had about her, she just seemed very kind and friendly.
And, and she was all of those things to see her here, you know, spewing, profanity. Well, they just roll off of her tongue and it’s just absolutely hilarious. She wasn’t entirely unlike that either. If you watch, if you watch her in interviews like late night talk show interviews, she’s just sharp as a knife, like so witty and so funny.
And she was. At all above cracking or raunchy, Joe, we’re playing with innuendo. And if you see behind the scenes footage of her from the golden girls or hot in Cleveland, there, there are great, like behind the scene stuff that you can see about hot and Cleveland, Cleveland outtakes on YouTube and stuff.
And she did. I mean, she, she. And she could cuss it up with the best of them and did, but again, that’s just something that’s endearing, you know, it makes her feel real and she’s not just a front, she’s not just a character. She’s a real
Todd: person. So when you can relate to some of the fields approachable,
Craig: one of the other things that I love about her, and I mean, it has really nothing to do with her career, but her love for her husband.
She was married three times. Her first, uh, marriage was very short-lived, uh, less than a year, I think. And her second marriage was, um, brief as well, a couple of years, but then through her extensive work in game shows, she met who would become. Her third husband, Alan Ludden. And, uh, they just had such a wonderful love story.
He pursued her relentlessly, um, and she was reluctant I’m I’m saying this from memory. So I apologize if there are any incorrect things that I’m saying here, but I think that she was a little reluctant because he. Some thing of a ladies, man. And she knew that also they lived on opposite coasts and neither of them wanted to relocate.
So though he was pursuing. Relentlessly. She, she held off for a very long time, but eventually he broke her down and they were married and it was just this wonderful. They were married for decades. He died, I think, in the late eighties. And she never remarried and said that she was never interested in pursuing romantic relationships after the death of her husband, he was.
For life. And she talked about how, as you know, she was approaching a hundred years of life. Um, she, she said that she loved life and that she would embrace life for as long as she could, but there was also always a part of her who was looking forward to being reunited with her husband. So when she passed her assistant, who was very, very close to her said that, uh, you know, we can, we can take comfort in the fact that.
Reunited with the love of her life, which is just, uh, you need some heartwarming content and your life, everyone.
Todd: So especially on a horror podcast.
Craig: And we will talk about this movie because it’s a good movie and I want to talk about it. It’s a good thing. It’s short.
Todd: We’re we’re a quarter deep into our podcast time. It’s okay. This is our, if you had noticed it, Betty White tribute episode. Yeah. Well, the thing you can’t deny, really, I think about this movie is yes, she did have a long career. It spanned a lot of things and so she never became irrelevant or off the scene and then suddenly popped in.
Right. But she did. You know, for example, this movie, this was not an indie film, right? This is a big budget, mainstream film, lots of stars, heavily promoted, released into an very interesting year for movies, but she was playing a character in here that most of us had never seen before. Right. And so it drew a lot of attention to her and I.
Uh, it was a joke for, uh, for a lot of us. Like, even if, maybe you didn’t like this movie, you’d be like, but you wouldn’t believe this Betty White is cursing up a storm minute. Right. And I do think it marked a bit of a turning point for her career where we’re more people were aware of this side of her and she could kind of, um, capitalize on that a little bit, or people would ask her to do kind of a little more edgy stuff or be a silly, you know, mostly in comedies and stuff like that.
Yeah. And so there, that has also been. I think for those of us who grew up with rose, you know, and that’s really all the only way we knew her to sort of see her do this as well. And it’s very memorable stuff. And so I think with the resurgence of the internet, which likes to hyper analyze everything and milk everything in pop culture for all it’s worth, I feel like she did really thrive in this era where a lot of stars don’t in that she was very.
Memeable relatable kind of, kind of career that she had, you know, in person. And so everybody just loves to love her. And so I do think that that’s true. And this movie is definitely was for sure a turning point, um, in kind of bringing out that other aspect of career, her career at which it might’ve gone that way anyway, but you know what.
Yeah,
Craig: this movie, it’s, it’s a giant crocodile movie. And it’s funny because I was reading the, the giant crocodile has less than four minutes of screen time. Um, but you know, it’s a crocodile movie. So in some ways, you know, the crocodiles kind of the star of the movie, it only gets four minutes. I bet Betty White maybe has five minutes of screen time, but it doesn’t matter.
She’s not she’s she’s. Player she’s in, I think three or four scenes, short scenes, but she’s whole Larry is like, just laugh out loud. Hilarious. You know, I, to be honest with you, I, I saw this movie when it came out and I’ve seen it since then, but it’s been a very long time, but I honestly was really not looking forward to revisiting it, except for.
I could watch her scenes all day, every day, but I kind of had it in my mind that it was a really schlocky B type movie. Um, and, and I had it in my mind that it wasn’t gonna be good and that I was going to think it was stupid. And I wasn’t going to enjoy it though. I remembered enjoying it at the time, going back and watching it.
This is such an interesting movie to me because I feel like they took like this. This seems like the creative process. Like let’s take one of the most obvious. Plots for a, B-movie a giant crocodile somewhere where it’s not supposed to be okay, that’s it. Easy enough. Now let’s throw a lot of money and incredible talent at it and see what happens.
Everybody involved in this has done great stuff. The director, Steve miner, directed house warlock, Halloween H2O, Friday, the 13th, two, and three and many other. Yeah, not just horror movies that I’ve really enjoyed. Oh no, no. I only highlighted the horror ones, but lots of stuff. The writer, David E. Kelley is a huge writer and producer in Hollywood and has been for decades.
Um, he did, he wrote Doogie Howser MD. Um, he’s had big success recently with big little lies and nine perfect strangers. He wrote for ally McBeal. I mean, Huge stuff. And then like, you already mentioned big stars now. I wouldn’t say necessarily like a list blockbuster stars, but totally. You know, these are people who were working, especially in the nineties, Bridget Fonda.
You know, off of the success of single white female, she was a big name and singles. Well, bill,
Todd: Pohlman not many years after independence day. Right?
Craig: Right. Uh, all of her plat got even some of the smaller characters there. There’s a deputy, deputy Sharon gayer played by Mel Meredith Salinger, who wasn’t a huge star, but I had such a crush on her when I was a teenager.
Cause she was like, Cute girl in one of the Cory’s movies, um, dream, a little dream, which not a great movie, but I loved it. And I loved her
Todd: Brendan and Gleason. Uh, who’s the, you know, I mean, you might know him as a, was it mad eye moody and the Harry Potter movies more recently, but he’s been in a billion
Craig: things.
Right. And Betty White. And so. You end up with is of pretty typical B monster movie, but it’s well shot. I mean, it’s really pretty to look at it’s well, acted. If I had any complaint, that’s really not a complaint, but it’s something that I feel like I need to at least mention it. The movie is super. Witty like, yeah.
Todd: It’s annoyingly witty at times.
Craig: Every line is a zinger. Yeah,
Todd: it is. And you know how, I think the reason you bring it up is at times like that goes a little too far, right. You’re just groaning and laughing and it takes you out of it. Like, you know, you’re watching a Hollywood
Craig: movie, right? I mean, the lines are funny.
There are, there are great quotable lines. Um, but it’s every, I mean, every line, just every character is so witty and sharp and just so ready with a clever comeback at every turn. It’s a little unrealistic, but whatever, I mean, I don’t remember if it was the writer, the director, one of them worked on, um, Dawson’s Creek.
And that was a big criticism of Dawson’s Creek, too. That those kids were far too sophisticated in the way that they talked and far too witty. And, and I, I see. Here, but whatever. I mean, it’s funny. It is a funny movie and something that shocked me this time around and reading about it. Cause I had never read about it before.
There is some creature work done by Stan Winston. I mean, seriously, could you have gotten more talented people to work on this movie? Um, but there’s also a lot of CGI, which I had forgotten and it’s good. It looks better than a lot of the CGI today. It’s crazy. It looks real. Most of
Todd: the time they did a great job with the CGI.
And at this time of the, you have the, I mean, a lot of CGI looked like crap around this time, around this era. So, uh, it’s true. Well, the mummy came out the same year. Oh God man. So much came out this year. This was the year of the matrix and fight club and the mummy and all this stuff. So it’s kind of crazy.
What this movie was up against, but also it kind of came in the wake of a bunch of movies that were similar to it. As I recall, like Anaconda deep blue sea, the Relic, this movie, I think we’re all around the same time where we were getting a little bit of these like monster movies were kind of Godzilla that, that really crappy Godzilla, I think came out this year or maybe the year before it at the same time.
I feel like this movie. Totally is odd because you don’t typically expect to see it’s gory. First of all, it’s pretty gory, especially for a big budget Hollywood movie with all these stars in it. And at times it feels like a comedy because they’re clever, witty things being settled a lot. But then at times it feels like a straight out horror movie and bloody and gory.
And at other times it seems like, like an environmental tale or something. I mean, it’s just, it just bounces back and forth so much between, sometimes in the same scene between Sirius and comedy and a adventure story and horror. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. I mean, it makes it an interesting.
But it might’ve worked against it a little bit. It’s just different from a lot of the other similar movies of that era, maybe with the exception of the Relic, I felt like it was trying to appeal to a lot of different audiences and maybe it lost a few people on the way. Cause I don’t think it was well reviewed at the time.
It did okay. At the box office. But you know, I don’t think it was like you said, my memory of this film and I did see it before was that it was schlocky and silly and I didn’t have much memory of it. I thought. Pretty not memorable. Um, this time around, I felt, Hmm. I got a little bored and I think, uh, I thought it was a little silly at times and just a little too unrealistic at times for my mind.
Um, I mean the, the bottom line is it’s a big alligator in a lake and the only reason this alligator is going to be a danger to you is if you get. If you’re, if you’re not in a lake, you’re going to be fine. And it’s as quiet lake that apparently not a lot of people go to just some scientists who are researching in this case, starting out it’s, uh, Brendan Gleeson’s character, sheriff, Hank Keogh, and some researcher he’s taken out there to check out beaver dam.
They’re
Craig: tagging, they’re
Todd: tagging beavers, tagging beavers. Yeah. That’s a joke. Right. And Dale Wally’s while he’s on the. Uh, and this guy’s in the diving, you know, in the lake tagging beavers. Now, one thing about diving in a lake is that it’s hard to see that you don’t see very much in front of you. So that kind of works in this movie’s advantage, but he’s tagging beavers and he’s inside this beaver hut and, uh, he gets pulled out of it, uh, by this.
Unseen creature and dragged around. Sheriff sees all this happen. And then, uh, he gets to the boat and he pulls him out of the water. And it’s pretty shocking. I mean, this is a first five minutes of the movie. He pulls half of his body out of the water. I mean, guts are dripping. He pulls into the boat. You see the whole thing.
I was kind of shocked.
Craig: I meet you. Cause
Todd: I had forgotten who. And so, uh, you know, that kind of kicks things off. And then, uh, you jumped to the natural history museum. Was that in New York city? I think, I
Craig: don’t know, but Bridget Fonda works there. Her name is Kelly and she gets immediately dumped by. Her boyfriend.
And she finds out that one of her friends has been one of her friends in a tiny bit part is Mariska Hargitay. Like I’m watching this. I’m like, wait, is that Mariska Harget day? Yeah. And she’s in it for like 10 seconds. Nope. Where would I know her from a criminal minds or. Shows she is the daughter of, uh, Jane Mansfield, I think.
Oh no kidding. And it’s silly. Bridget. Fonda’s character is so silly. Like she is this super uptight. It’s not a nice word. Not one that I throw around a lot, but bitch, like, she’s just like a cold.
Todd: Yeah. Annoying, annoying as hell, which graded on me for awhile. Maybe the whole movie. Like I just don’t think she’s a very relatable likable character.
I’m not saying that she has to be, but I just, God, I just wanted her to get her. About halfway through.
Craig: Well, they are setting her, uh, I mean, and, and I don’t have a problem with this relate, like she is. So over the top, in the beginning with the things that she says, it is a character, she plays it. Well, she’s a good actress.
She sells it, but they’re setting her up for a character arc and you can see it in every element of her character. In the beginning of the movie, she wears. Tight fitting business attire. She has her hair pulled up really tight, just like everything about her is tight. And as the movie progresses and as she slowly kind of loosens up and comes into herself, she loses that edge and you even see it visually, she starts wearing her hair down.
She starts wearing far more comfortable clothes,
Todd: so transparent though, you know, and that’s what
Craig: I’m afraid. I can’t let you go with this. Sheriff Kia said I could unfortunately, fish and game supersedes the sheriff. Why do you have to supersede? Maybe I might be, look, this isn’t some kind of fact-finding expedition.
Yes. I know that it’s not a science trip. Could you be a little more condescending? Cause I’m not real great with subtlety. Something in that like killed somebody. Right? I appreciate. You’re trying to help. I’m really glad that you brought. Yeah, that’s better, man. It’s not going to you call me ma’am one more time.
I’ll Sue you and with today’s laws, it’s
Todd: possible. She’s good. It’s so written it’s to Hollywood and, and also, I didn’t even think it was that believable. I didn’t think her character, I really had a hard time finding that defining moment in the movie where suddenly she decided to stop being so. You know, figuratively, literally let her hair down.
When was that? I don’t remember. She,
Craig: so she gets sent by her ex-boyfriend slash boss because they found a tooth in that guy’s body. And so she gets, because she’s a paleontologist, she gets sent to look. The tooth and she does, and she thinks it’s reptilian, but she also views the body. And, you know, the body’s clearly been bitten in half.
And so this has to be some kind of big predator. And so she kind of joins the investigation and she and Hank are joined by Jack played by bill Pullman, who is a fish and game. Um, and these three kind of become the central three and then are joined by a Oliver Platt’s character in a while. But in the beginning, you know, Bridget Fonda’s introduction to Hank and Jack, you know, she’s condescending, she’s, you know, making jabs at their community at their intelligent about the locals.
I mean, she’s, she’s the city. It. And they’re the country folk, you know? Um, and they play that up. As the movie progresses and this isn’t like super shoved in your face, but she and Jack bill Pullman have these moments together where they talk and they’re obviously flirting. Um, it’s one of those, oh, we hate each other.
We’re flirting. It’s, it’s stupid in Hollywood, but it’s kind of funny. And I think that it’s in those moments that you start to see a little bit more of the softer side of her. And at one point they’re talking and he says to her, you’re having the best time of your life. Aren’t you? And she says, what? No, that’s terrible.
People are dying. How could I. KA could you tell? And, and she, she actually says, you know, that all of her life she’s witnessed things from the outside, and this is the first time that she’s ever had. Uh, part of something and to find a little bit of purpose and to feel like she’s a part of something and to kind of be building some relationships.
Um, I think that that softens her up a little bit and it it’s silly. I mean, it’s, it’s such a big transformation, but honestly, by the end of the movie, I thought she was cute and.
Todd: If I were to rewrite it, if I would presume to rewrite this movie, I would from the beginning, make her enthusiastic about this, but incredibly naive she’s in paleontology.
Who like hates nature. Yeah. It’s so weird. Right? She gets out there, but she’s bitching about mosquitoes and oh, I need to camp and all this stuff. I’m like, oh, come on. Really? I do not believe that whatsoever. I would have said, oh, she should have jumped at the chance to get out there and be overeager, get in everybody’s way and also be a bit of a fish out of water.
Because even though she’s enthusiastic for the job, she’s never actually literally had that experience before, you know, that. I think how I would have played it would have been a little more believable than what we ended up with, which I just thought was silly. You know, that
Craig: that’s true. But that role is already filled by Oliver, Platt Oliver, Platt plays.
This guy named Hector sear sire. He is the one. He comes out of nowhere. She knows who he is randomly because he’s done some stuff with her museum or something. And he’s this eccentric millionaire. Who’s fascinated with crocodiles because he’s a mythology professor and she explains it. Point. That he thinks that crocodiles are like divine, like, like gods.
And of course the country boys, you know, roll their eyes and thinks that silly. And she’s like, I know, I know it seems silly, but really historically, you know, all of these different cultures from places in Asia to other parts of the world have in some capacity worship. Crocodiles or other large, uh, reptiles.
She says it at some point. I have no idea if this is true, but historically crocodiles have been worshiped more than Jesus Christ. Now I have, again, I have no idea if that’s true, but I do know that what she’s saying about. Other cultures viewing these creatures as divine creatures. That is true. So he he’s the one who’s overly enthusiastic, who is reckless in his pursuit.
So I don’t know. He’s like
Todd: super silly too though. I mean, first of all, I don’t know where he heard about this. W w where did he hear about. Do we ever get an explanation of why he suddenly swoops in on an airplane lands in the middle of this lake and then inserts himself into the situation?
Craig: No, no. He just found out about it somehow.
And he, before anybody says crocodile, like that’s how they figure out that that’s what it is. Cause he shows up and she’s like, wait a second. He’s super into crocodiles
Todd: thing. He’s into crocodiles. Right? He’s like part Steve, when part Indiana Jones, you know, part MacGyver Pryor part wise ass it’s. So over the top, it is, it was kind of silly.
Again, it just felt really scripted and really annoying, but
Craig: knowing as he is, and he is super annoying because he’s super, super witty. And very condescending and they put up with him for way too long. Well, and, and he and sheriff Hank are set up as foils and they’re constantly taking jabs at one another and finding themselves in conflict.
It’s kind of cute. Like at the end, it kind of seems like. They’ve developed kind of a love, hate kind of relationship.
Todd: Like, well, he does know what he’s talking about, so we’re going to cry in here anyway, and then, oh, you know, he’s, he saved her ass a couple times.
Craig: Right? Exactly. And I don’t hate that. It’s kind of cute and sweet, but I mean the whole movie really just comes down to, they’re looking for.
This crocodile, there are a couple of jokes that I just really want to highlight because they kill me every time. The first time that, um, Kelly, Hank and Jack go out on the lake together, they see something weird in the water and they pull up alongside it and Hank pulls it up and it’s like an elk head and he swings it over and drops it in the boat right at Kelly’s feet.
And she screams. And slaps him. And he’s like, what are you doing? It’s just like, you threw it at me. He’s like, I just put it down and she’s like, no, you threw it at me. And she slaps him again. Oh. So funny. And then later they are on another. Scouting expedition when a deputy’s head, uh, the crocodile jumps out of the water and just bites this guy’s head off.
And later they’re walking around in the forest and she steps on the stick, which launches this deputy’s head at her. I just died. She’s like, just keep breathing. I’m being very calm. I am composed of the second time I’ve been hit with a separate. Oh, just please. Uh, I don’t know. I don’t even know if other people will find that as funny as I did, but what’s funny.
Oh, she’s just so high-strung, it’s, it’s
Todd: hilarious. I think actually Jack and Hanks’ character in this movie. Are pretty real. I felt like they were the two most real characters in this movie. They seem like just two guys who were, got to do a job. This is what they do. And I liked their dynamic from the very beginning.
I liked the way they played it. It wasn’t crazy. It wasn’t over the top. It wasn’t ultra heroic or anything like that. They just seem like the guys who would be in my town who have these jobs, you know, and they’re just doing their job and they are, and they’re just sort of tolerated. All these crazy people who are jumping in here who are more or less getting in the way of their do of them doing their job.
And so, like the other kind of ridiculous thing about is why do they continue to tolerate it for so long when they could, they have the authority to just boot these people? Well,
Craig: they, I mean, they even talk about it. I mean, it’s both of them hate Hector, but Kelly keeps saying, look, he knows what he’s doing.
He sat in traps for us. Yeah. I mean, he’s, he, he’s a great trapper. He knows how to find them. Like I, yes, he’s eccentric and crazy, but he’s got all this high-tech equipment that they can use. So as annoying as he is. He is of some use to them,
Todd: I would say. So he’s like the most used to them. I mean, they’re fricking lucky.
He randomly landed there cause he’s got everything
Craig: well, he’s got the stuff and he’s got the knowledge. But, but, but before he even shows up, they’re not really worried about it. They want to keep it really quiet. But the reason that they’re not panicked immediately is because this lake is apparently so remote that nobody lives on it.
And really nobody. Does anything on it? There there’s just this one old couple that lives on it. And so the three, the main three folks go to visit this couple. And when they get there, it’s Betty White and her name is Mrs. Dolores. And she says her husband died, passed away. It’s been almost two years now.
My department doesn’t have any record of that. Mrs. Beckerman. Well, I’m sorry. Incomplete records haunt me. So,
and just such an such a sarcastic way. Yeah, he was very sick and he refused to go to a doctor. He’d be coherent one day and incoherent the next and well, one coherent day, he asked me to, and his suffering, he kept insisting and insisting. And then. Finally, I just gave in and I hit him on the head with a skillet and then buried him under the bus.
Well, dig him up if you don’t believe me, Sherlock.
Oh, just everything she says is hilarious. And it’s only because of her delivery. I suppose another performer could have. Played the role and it would have been funny, but it’s just such a hilarious juxtaposition to what we expected of her at the time. And it just, it works so, so well
Todd: it’s a character that, you know, just gets more.
Quirky and mysterious, the more you see her, right? Because she’s saying these kinds of outrageous things, but she’s walking around and handing them tea, she’s openly admitting to killing and baring her husband. You know? I mean, it just, the juxtaposition that makes her very, very interesting and yeah, and
Craig: her demeanor is, you know, very grandmotherly, like she’s, like you said, giving them tea, giving them cookies.
And she does this throughout, but, uh, later as she gets. More irritated, the things that come out of her mouth, are it just someone expected that it just lands so funny then Hector shows up and, and the, for now, uh, Kelly, Hector, Jack and Hank white on canoes, one of their boats gets flipped by something underneath them and Kelly and Hank end up in the water.
And there are several of these scenes where something like that happens. And then there’s really no. Nobody dies. No, it didn’t really bother me. I still found it suspenseful. Um, and I didn’t need an attack every five minutes. And like, you know, they’re, they’re figuring out, oh, obviously there was something big in the water.
Deputy Sharon Meredith sounds or finds a toe and Hector holds it up to a, Hey consist. It was just a man who was killed. You seemed
Todd: taller. That was so funny. That was hilarious.
Craig: There’s that joke. There’s another joke because they start to, once they realize that there is a crocodile, I wonder where it came from.
And, um, I don’t remember who maybe Hector says some asshole in Asia must have flushed it down the toilet. There are a couple of gags that are direct nods to the film alligator, which we’ve done. And this is really not all that unlike. Bigger budget, bigger
Todd: budget. And it happens. I mean, in, in alligator, I feel like the stakes were higher simply because that thing was going through and terrorizing people in town, Russell kind of unrealistically, suddenly shows up at a party at a garden party, you know, suddenly shows up in an alley downtown.
But, but yeah, I mean, that was a little different, I thought the stakes were higher.
Craig: Yeah, but Hector throws a big party at the campsite because crocodiles are attracted to noise. And he’s dancing with that deputy that I’ve mentioned in here, he says, it’s very dangerous work. Isn’t it? And you have such a big wonderful
and he gets away. Saying this stuff like she laughs like, it’s funny, like he’s just that eccentric. And I actually think she’s kind of
Todd: into him. Oh, she’s definitely into him probably so, but yes,
Craig: it’s cute. But eventually they dive in the water. They realize it’s a crock. The big reveal is when Hector and Hank get into a fight and Hank chases, Hector and the rest of them.
Characters follow the pursuit and they end up near the shore of the lake when suddenly an enormous bear here and is like standing and roaring and threatening to attack and the crocodile leaps out of the water and grabs the bear and drags it into the lake. All CGI looks totally real. Looks fantastic.
And that’s when they
Todd: know it really looks good. It’s hard to believe they did a mix of animatronic and CGI, because you can hardly tell one from the other that seamless, you know, this was the other thing though, that bothered me about the movie is it’s a crocodile is also a land creature, right? And so there should theoretically be just as imperil on the land as they are.
And see, they are camped like six feet away from the edge of. Platts putting some traps around and stuff like that, but it’s just like, whatever they’re attacked in the lake, it’s like, oh good. They get out of the lake and then they’re out of the lake and now everything’s fine again. And they can just kind of stand around and talk and regroup and do their thing and sleep some more and wake up.
I didn’t feel this impending sense. Like, oh my God. Like, like there’s this danger that, I mean, they could at any moment just sort of walk away and then nobody really have to worry about it, you know?
Craig: Right. They mint. They talk about it. Not until the very end. Is there really any kind of confrontation on land?
I mean, Hector explains that crocodiles are more dangerous on land, on land under that underwater. They don’t see as well. I mean, they can still get ya, but, but my
Todd: God, this thing tacks like underwater all the
Craig: time. Right, right. At this point they just happen to randomly be near. Uh, Betty White’s house and they see her lead a cow to the shore.
And the crock is just waiting in the water with its head above water. It’s jaws wide open. And it eats the cow and they go and they talk to her and she confesses that she’s been feeding it for like six years. And Hank says something to her like, uh, so your husband, you didn’t happen to lead him down to the water.
Did you? And she looks at him and says he probably got a Dick. This is where I’d tell you to suck. I could watch that line on the. For hours like chosen Betty. White’s saying that she’s so serious. She’s so angry and just, she’s just little old sweet Betty White just, oh God. And then, and then she calls him officer, fuck, meet
a to Hillary.
Todd: Well, didn’t it beg the question though. Weren’t you kind of wondering how many cows does she have and how often does she need to feed it? Oh,
Craig: definitely. Personally, this is one,
Todd: I mean, it’s a big crocodile, but even for a big animal, it is one hungry animals. Oh.
Craig: He just ate a bear like a minute before the
Todd: next day goes and eats a cow.
Like how when’s this thing going to go away from?
Craig: Hector goes swimming with it. Cause that’s what he does. He swims with these crocodiles, but it comes up right behind him. And I would guess that this was the animatronic and it was big and it looked really good. And I guess they said, you know, they, they designed it using, uh, hydraulics and they sealed it really tight so that the water wouldn’t corrupt it in any way.
And I, I guess it just worked, you know, it was kind of the opposite of. Bruce from jaws that they just had such problems with. Like this thing just worked. It even could like swim on its own. They didn’t have it doing that very often because it was really slow. They would pull it along with a boat, but it could, um, it could articulate it to movement in such a way that it could actually propel itself forward, but he swims with it and he comes eye to eye with it.
And he says, this one’s different. It’s not like any of the others that I’ve ever seen. And he barely escapes the crocodile taxes, helicopter, which again does not look back. But this is where it kind of culminates. What are we going to do? And Hector says to Kelly, we can’t let them kill it. And so Hector and Kelly tried to convince Hank and Jack that they can’t kill it.
They’ve got to try to trap it. Us wildlife is coming. Uh, Hector says it’s too big. They won’t even try. They’ll just kill it. Everything he says makes sense. He’s like, it’s a miracle. There’s, there’s no explanation for why it should be here. It’s 150 years old. It may have crossed an ocean to get here. How can we destroy something like that?
You know, we’ve at least got a try. He lays out a plan, you know, we’ll lure it to the land. I’ve got a net that’s not strong enough. Hold it, but strong enough to hold it long enough for the drugs to kick in. We can tranq it and the drugs will kick in and he’s like, I know like an oil truck or something that can house it for the time being until we find out where to put it.
They convince the very, very reluctant Hank and Jack to try this plan. And that’s what they do. And so they come and deer one of Betty White’s cows, put it in a sling, they go fishing with a cow hoisted up. Helicopter.
Todd: It’s so silly. It’s
Craig: it’s silly. And S and like, honestly, I was, when they start dipping it in the water, I was like, Aw, that poor
Todd: cat.
I thought the same thing. There’s like a pita thing at the end that says no animals were harmed, but I’ll bet that cow was a little pissed. Yeah.
Craig: I don’t know. I don’t know if they actually dipped it in the water. They did voiced a cow up on a crane. Oh, that’s definitely a
Todd: real cow to CGI this cow. It
Craig: looks real.
And it takes a long time. You know, the cow gets tired. I mean, it, it starts in daylight and then we cut to nighttime and she, you know, the cow gets tired. It’s not really moving around. And Bridget Fonda says she looks like a giant tea bag. But then the crocodile does start coming. They have a big showdown, you know, Hector with the cow leads it to the shore, but something goes wrong and he loses control of the helicopter drops the poor cow in the lake.
They make a point of showing you that the cow is okay later. Like it just walks across the screen. The helicopter crashes into the lake, the crock comes on shore. For a little bit, and bill Pullman’s able to get a shot into its belly, the dark, but that doesn’t take it down immediately and it knocks Bridget Fonda into the water.
And there’s actually a really good underwater scene swimming away from. Uh, this is the second, there was an underwater scene in the very beginning too. And they did a really good job with it. Now lakes are very murky, so I don’t know how they filmed this because there’s great visibility under
Todd: the wall.
It could have been in a tank, you know, in Hollywood or something. They just murked up the water a bit. But. You and I are both fans of underwater photography. I thought this movie did a fantastic job of underwater
Craig: and the crocodile chases her there’s a, she kind of hides behind a tree and it swims past, but then she realizes her foot is stuck.
And as she’s trying to get a lung stuck, she looks up and the crock is coming right at her. And it turns on its side and opens its jaws. Luckily she’s behind the tree. So that prevents it from getting her and she gets out and gets to the helicopter where Hector still is. And then the. Attacks, but it attacks through the helicopter.
So they’re able to jump off and swim to shore. And the Al the crocodile is trapped in the helicopter. And the law enforcement people, Hank and Jack wants to shoot it. But Hector and Kelly plead with them. They say, look, it’s trapped. And, and then the drugs start to kick in and it, it starts to become sedate.
And so they don’t, uh, you think bill, Pullman’s going to shoot it, but really what he has grabbed is. Tranq gun. And so he just shoots it with another tranquilizer, which is very smart. And so you think it’s all over and then a second giant crocodile jumps out of the lake and attacks them, Hey, just blows his head off with his job.
Gun. Um, that’s pretty funny. The crocodile did chase them around on land a little bit to chase the trucks. That was exciting, good stuff going on there. Finally, of course, you know, at the last minute, once everything is taken care of us, wildlife shows up and they take over like, you know, dealing with the crocodile or what.
Hank goes with Hector and the ambulance. Cause like they’re friends now and Kelly and Jack have a moment and it looks like they’re going to just part ways without, you know, acknowledging that they have feelings for one another, but then she. You know, breaks the ice and it’s like, doesn’t anybody in Maine ever make a move and they drive off together and it’s sweet and they have a little banter.
It’s cute. And then the end of the movie is you see Betty White, this in the middle of the day. There’s this cute music. She’s walking down the dock on her. Property. And she sits down and she dips her toes in the water and she’s looking out over the water and she starts throwing in bread crumbs, and you hear a say, that’s right.
Come to mama nibble, mama’s toe. And these little baby crocodiles are in there and she’s just feeding them gleefully. And, and then you see the. Croc on a flatbed truck going down the freeway, uh, which is a pretty hilarious image. And then that’s, that’s it. And, uh, I, I, you know, I raced through the end cause we were running low on time, but it feels like it goes that fast.
Yes. There is a lot of witty banter. There are things happening. The gist of it is they’re after the crocodile, they find it, they trap it. It’s not a complex movie.
Todd: Yeah. It’s definitely not. I think the thing that I just, um, look it’s fun. It’s fun enough that it was quirky. Like I said, it made me roll my eyes a lot.
I thought it was kind of unrealistic. It, it’s not really the type of movie I would choose to watch because I want it to be a little more exciting, little more action. Packed, like. There are these action scenes, but I just think kind of, like I said, in the back of my head, the stakes were really not that high.
And as often in the case, in something like this, they’re more putting themselves in peril than they’re finding themselves in peril. There’s really not much of a moment where, you know, they’re cornered and they’re trapped and you know, like, like the raft in creep show too. Right. You know, like that kind of thing where it’s a countdown to.
And death. It’s like, oh, we went out on the water, looking for this crock, but a couple of us fell in. So now we got to get back out of the water and back to land, which happens two or three times. And then, I mean, at the end of the day, they can take as much time as they want and pull in as much resources as they want to get this alligator.
Cause it’s not like he’s holding anybody hostage. Right. So, I mean, I just, I just kind of was a little bit like, ah, all right. I mean about halfway through the movie, I just wanted to see the plot unfold and finish. No, I’m, I’m not dogging it because it had a lot of funny moments and fun things. Like we said, the actors are of course, fantastic actors, the dialogues, witty and funny.
And there’s some funny moments, still pretty uneven, you know, at times it was really gory and scary and other times it was just like, yeah. People just being witty to each other, a lot of comedy, and then it ends
Craig: up.
Todd: So cliche, you know, in almost every way, almost all of these characters, like we said, are, are, um, stereotypical.
So it didn’t really bring anything new to the table in that regard, but good effects. Fun to see Betty White. That’s why we’re doing it. And yeah, I was really happy. I never actually seen this from beginning to. And so most of the times I’ve seen this, I totally missed her role. I didn’t even realize she was in this until you told me.
So. Yeah, it was a, it was, it was a good watch. It was fun to see what I recommend it to somebody else. Not really, unless you want to go in. And this is exactly the kind of
Craig: movie you like it. Yes. That exactly. But I would recommend it, but I would recommend it more on the merits of the comedy than the horror.
Um, it’s, it’s a funny movie and I think that’s what they’re going for. I think it’s, they’re going for kind of schlocky, you know, I think that it’s perfectly successful as a modern day B movie, you know, something like mosquito or. Alligator or whatever, you know, it, it gives you a giant crocodile. It gives you some scary moments, but it’s also intentionally funny.
So I think it works. It’s not amazing. I don’t think it’s a great movie, but I do think it’s a really well done. Bad movie. Yeah, I like it. And you know, again, if nothing else, you know what folks, if you don’t want to watch this movie, I bet money. You could find just Betty White’s scenes on YouTube, and that is worth your time.
I guarantee it, especially if you’re a Betty White fan, as you very much should be. And so with all sincerity, we do this to pay tribute to, and to honor. People who we’ve lost, and this is no different, but really, I think that my heart is more in this than any other attribute we’ve done before. Uh, I think that Betty White is deserving of all of the praise that she gets.
Her legacy is cemented, I think in Hollywood and, and in our hearts with all the respect that I have. Oh, God, I just want to thank her for being a friend.
seriously. I, I will miss her. You know, it was just kind of, even during the pandemic, she totally isolated. Wisely. And so she hadn’t really been seen publicly in a couple of years. She stayed in her very modest home and, uh, just kind of hold herself up, but it was always just kind of nice knowing that she was out there.
Um, and it’s, it’s sad that she’s not, but she will be forever remembered. Amen. Well, thank you for listening to another episode of two guys in a chainsaw. Of course. Uh, if you enjoy this episode, let us know if you have any insight into this movie that we missed. We’d love to hear it. If you want to hear our other stuff, all you need to do is Google two guys in a chain soft podcast, and you’ll find this all over the place anywhere where you can find streaming podcasts.
You’ll find us there we’ll be back. But until that time, I’m Craig. With Two Guys and a Chainsaw.