The Babysitter (2017)

Episode 103, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Craig:  Hello, and welcome to another episode of 2 Guys in a Chainsaw. I’m Craig.

Todd:  And I’m Todd.

Craig:  And I chose the movie this week, and the movie that we’re doing this week is 2,017’s The Babysitter, which was originally shot in 2015 and slated for a theatrical debut. But, Netflix got the distribution rights and it ended up not being released until October of this year. And this is something that just popped up on Netflix. I hadn’t really heard anything about it, but it seemed promising. And since it was, October, my partner was willing to watch scary movies with me. So we put this on one night just because we didn’t have anything else to watch, and I was very pleasantly surprised. Had you heard anything about this movie, Todd?

Todd:  No. I hadn’t. You know, here in China, I don’t pop on to Netflix too often. I have to use a VPN to be able to even access it. And even then, sometimes, it’s a little it’s a little tricky because Netflix, tries to block VPNs for that very reason. But, yeah, I was able to watch it. And, yeah, I had never heard of it before either. What a cool movie. I’m just gonna say that right now.

Craig:  Todd. I’m glad. Listeners, Todd usually, like if obviously because we’re on opposite sides of the world we can’t watch them together, Todd often texts me and is like, oh, I’m so excited to talk about this, and you didn’t text me last night, so I was worried. And so I said to Alan, if he doesn’t like this movie, I don’t think we can be friends anymore.

Todd:  Did Alan

Craig:  like it? Yes. Yes. Oh, good. We both really liked this movie. As soon as it was over, he said, man, that was fun. And, that’s how I felt about it too. This is just a really fun movie. It was directed by Mick Gee and, people have, especially critics, have really mixed feelings about Mick G’s movies. He’s done lots of, music videos and the movies that he’s done that I am most familiar with are the Charlie’s Angels movies, The ones with Cameron Diaz and Drew Barry Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu. The first one of those movies, I really liked. Not because it was like some amazing plot or story or story, or whatever, but just because it was a lot of fun, you know, a lot of action, a lot of comedy. And then the second movie, I liked quite a bit too, just because it was the same exactly as the first movie.

Todd:  Basically, why screw with the good thing.

Craig:  Right? Right. But they were both fun. And this movie isn’t like those movies, you know, as far as plot is concerned, but it is like those movies in that it’s pretty fast paced and it’s stylistic. Yeah. And, a lot of fun and really funny. And I know that not every horror fan is a huge fan of horror comedies, and and that’s cool. I get that. But I am. And I think that comedy and horror, they go right hand in hand when it’s done well. And I think that this movie does that really well. Would you agree?

Todd:  Oh, for sure. It it really does. You have to though you have to like the smarmy kind of comedy. The sort of almost modern hip where people talk with clever witty one liners in the face of crazy situations like no other human would ever talk, you know.

Craig:  They’re still

Todd:  being silly and they’re still being funny and they’re still being witty, you know, that they’re just those movies where everybody in the in the movie is a comedian and nobody thinks twice about it, and that’s this style of movie. And if you’re into that kind of comedy, if that kind of comedy doesn’t annoy you, then you’d really like this for sure.

Craig:  Oh, yeah. And and I could see, you know, after I watched this, I was super stoked about it. And the very next day, I read a review of it online that was really critical and talked about how it was going way too far out of its way to be gimmicky and going way too far out of its way to be hip. And I suppose I can see that, but it just worked for me. And I think that part of the reason that it worked for me is because there are some really, really strong performances, in this movie. I have so many notes, like And, you know, it’s not really scary. Like, I was never scared in the movie, but it does have a nice, dark horror premise. But I really think that, what really sells this movie for me are the performances, particularly by the main character who is a young kid. He’s supposed to be 12, and he seems young. I don’t know if he really seems 12. I would guess probably more around 14, but he’s played by a kid named Judah Lewis who doesn’t have very many credits to his name, but I expect a lot from this kid because he’s just really good in this movie. He’s cute, he’s charming, he’s endearing. He’s supposed to be kind of this nerdy, worrywart. He’s a good looking young kid. You wouldn’t expect him to kind of be the nerd role. But he pulls it off really well.

Todd:  He does.

Craig:  And so then there’s him and then his babysitter. The movie is the babysitter. The babysitter’s name is B. And, she is played by Samara Weaving, who I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in anything before. I know that she was in the TV series Ash Versus the Evil Dead, which I want to see, but I don’t get the network that it runs on. The premise is he’s this, you know, kind of dorky insecure kid. The movie opens with him getting his flu shot at school and he’s scared of the needle and then the male school nurse has to kinda, you know, talk him into getting this shot. And then the very next scene is of him staring off into space out on the school yard and getting hit in the head with a basketball, and some kid calls him a pussy. And that’s just kind of establishing his character. The whole first half hour is kind of establishing who these characters are. And he is established as this young, insecure, kinda nerdy kid. But then he’s got this babysitter who is just the coolest freaking babysitter ever. Yeah.

Todd:  Like no other babysitter would ever be. Right. That

Craig:  was the babysitter that our 12 year old selves dreamed of, you know, like, that would never exist, but that we totally wished did. She’s hot. Like, she’s just smoking hot. She’s just fun and funny. And the reason that I say that their performances are so strong is because they established this relationship in the beginning where she really treats him like a friend, I guess. And it doesn’t come across as condescending. It doesn’t come across that she’s talking down to him. And it doesn’t come across that, like, she’s just doing this for the money. Like, she genuinely seems to care about this kid. And when they talk, it’s just really, really sweet. Like, you really feel this camaraderie between them. And I think that that’s really important to establish in the beginning for the purposes of the rest of the movie. And it gives it a, a sweetness that you just don’t see very often. And it’s very genuine, and I just I was so into it from the very beginning.

Todd:  Yeah. Yeah. She you’re introduced to her by she comes in and breaks up a bully fight. It’s so classic eighties. There is such a shade of of the eighties kind of movies in this. Judah, especially, the character, Cole is his name. He’s man, he looks just like he was plucked out of The Goonies. Yeah. And he plays really sincere just like a 12 year old kid and this woman comes in and when he is beset by 3 bullies on bikes. It is that classic walking down the street home from school and here come 3 bullies on a bike to surround him. And I have to say that the only criticism I have for this movie is she is so cool as a babysitter. She is so friendly with this kid and their relationship. He’s supposed to be 14, I believe.

Craig:  12. I think 12. I thought 14 at first, but he mentions at some point towards the end, he says I’m only 12, so I’m just supposed to be a kid.

Todd:  Okay. He’s supposed to be 12, but it’s just a little too perfect and a little too platonic to be believable. Now, you you know, movies are about suspending disbelief. So after a little while, you go with it. But at first, you’re thinking every 12 year old or 13 or 14 year old kid’s dream. It’s my it’s my, you know, 39 year old dream to have a baby. This woman, to be honest. And it’s cool, like, when she comes over, like, they’re talking and she’s really nerdy, like, he is. This seems like they really connect and not just that she’s playing with it, you know, like, I’m not like she’s, like, pretending to like the things he likes, but she really does. They have Right. Really interesting scene when when she’s over. And I know I’m skipping ahead a little bit here, but when she’s over at the house and the parents have gone.

Clip:  So there’s an epic villain. Right? Right? Okay. So you have to fill a starship full of the best people or aliens or robots to take them down. How many seats have I got? 5. 5? 6. If you need, like, a duobie, you can’t have a predator and the xenomorph together because they’d fight and the mission would be futile. No. No. Okay. I get it. Alright. 1, Kirk. 2, Picard. 3, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum from Independence Day. 5, Ripley. And 6, are you ready for this ship? A xenomorph egg. No way. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Okay. Here’s the plan. Kirk and Picard team up to captain. Then when they get close, they send in Will and Goldblum to get inside the lair because they have experience with that ship. Fair. Now this whole time, Ripley’s been bitching about the xenomorph egg and shit because that’s her move. But she knows she gotta do this because it’s the only way to save the world. A universe. Right. Exactly. So Will and Goldblum get her inside the lair. Ripley personally drops off the egg. The facehugger attacks the big bad. Ripley makes it back to Will and Gollum. The big bad attacks them. They narrowly escape. Kirk and Picard supply cover as the spacecraft returns home, then they peek out of there. Meanwhile, big bad starts feeling like

Craig:  shit. Man. He’s out.

Todd:  She knows all of the cool, nerdy movies and TV shows and things like that that that they totally click on that level. Even though one look at this girl tells you she shouldn’t.

Craig:  Right. But that’s what makes her so cool. And again Yeah. You know, I I hate to repeat myself but that’s what makes her the coolest. Like this hot, hot, I can’t say enough how hot she is. This girl is so hot.

Todd:  She really is.

Craig:  It’s like, she never, you would never expect her to be into the things that this kid is into and he would never expect her to be either. But she is or somehow, as it turns out, she is manipulative But she’s so good at it that you wouldn’t ever suspect. It’s established how he’s kinda this geek at school and he gets picked on by these bullies.

Clip:  They’re the ones that egg your house? You gotta punch him in the dick. And if they’re chasing you, wait until they’ve almost got you, and then drop like a bag of rocks. And then when they trip over you and they’re on the ground, kick them in the dick.

Craig:  Which which is so funny, but, like, such a it’s almost like a big sister kind of thing, but it’s better that it’s not your sister because she’s also hot and so like Yeah.

Todd:  It’d be problematic.

Craig:  We’re also introduced to another character named Melanie who is a girl about his age. They’re standing outside the school waiting to be picked up and her dad picks her up in this totally douchey, like, muscle car, which I only mention because it comes up later, but like he goes home and his mom is crawling around in the basement with spiders. I’m intentionally including all of these details because you can tell, you can even tell in the movie that these details are gonna be important later. It’s

Todd:  a very economical writing. It doesn’t waste, a scene, really.

Craig:  Right. And and norm in some movies, that bothers me. You know, like, when something’s so obviously highlighted, like, oh, I wonder if that’s gonna be important later. But in this movie, the payoffs were were good enough that it it Todd didn’t bother me. Me. But he even says to his mom, mom, am I a pussy? And she’s kinda like, well, And and she said something motherly like, you know, you’re just at an age where everything’s really scary now and things won’t be scary so long. So basically, yeah, but don’t worry, you’ll grow out of it. Both of his parents are kind of established as nice people, but, you know, like his dad takes him on a driving lesson and, the kid’s too scared to drive so he won’t drive. So the dad’s like, it’s okay, buddy. You know, maybe next week. And he puts him in the car or in the passenger seat, and he’s like, now let’s do some donuts. And, like, the kid’s just sitting there, like, about Todd self trying to pretend like, trying to pretend like he’s not scared.

Todd:  In many ways, it is a movie for today. It’s super modern and again that might be something that turns people off is the writing and and I could see where critics might say it’s almost a little too clever, it’s almost a little too hip. In that the way that people talk to each other in this movie with a few exceptions where it goes a little overboard like the the adults cuss to the kids quite a bit and I don’t know, maybe in some neighborhoods, but I I still don’t see that adults speaking so loosely to kids as they do in this film. But, you know, these these aspects I thought were kinda plucked. Like, somebody mentions Instagram followers later. And here that, you know, this is kind of a thing now where a lot of American kids don’t care about getting their licenses anymore.

Craig:  Right.

Todd:  And so, you know, there’s that aspect of it and and, the relationship of the mom with the kid.

Clip:  Mom, I know pussy also means vagina. I’m not retarded. Cole Johnson, do not say retarded. But I can say pussy or anything. Don’t say it. Okay? Go get me a lemonade. My Todd. He said pussy.

Todd:  So I liked the movie for that. I have to admit I did think it went a little overboard. It was just a little too self conscious at times, but I was willing to roll with it because it was funny. You know, it was really genuinely funny.

Craig:  Yeah. I that it’s funny because you said, like, you know, it feels very eighties. And in many ways, it really does. I mean, even when, so that the whole first half hour is just setting up that they have this great relationship. And then that culminates in the parents going away. Like the parents, I guess it’s just suggested that maybe they have been having some problems. So they’ve been going once a week to hotel therapy, which everybody assumes just means that they’re going off once a week to have sex. When they finally do leave, then there’s just this, don’t even wanna call it a montage because it doesn’t feel much like a montage, but it’s just a quick succession of scenes where we see what this

Todd:  set to music

Craig:  Which is the montage, basically.

Todd:  I mean, you know, I don’t wanna cut off a quick succession of scenes set to music, a montage, really. Let’s call it

Clip:  a montage.

Craig:  Well, because, like, there’s there’s dialogue and they’re talking and stuff. Alright. Fine. That’s a montage. But anyway, it’s a montage of, you know, all this stuff that they do together when his parents are gone and, like, they do choreographed dances together, and they swim together. And, like, you know, he watches her in slow motion Todd down to her bathing suit and and they cook pizza together. Like, they just do all every fun thing you can imagine doing in a couple of hours.

Todd:  It’s compressed into a couple hours. Yeah. Again, you They they You just gotta roll with it, really.

Craig:  Yeah. They they they watch a movie outside on a, like, a a sheet projection screen and, like, they stand in front of the projector and it’s like this old, either like a western or a ninja movie or something and, like, they’re mouthing the lines and acting it out in front of the screen. And it’s just so cute and so fun. But you said, you know, it’s got a very it’s set in modern time and there are many things to indicate to us that it is set in modern time. But it has such an eighties aesthetic that you were talking about that intergalactic dream team that they talk about, And he’s so impressed with the things she says. It doesn’t get any more eighties than that. But all of that leads up to his friend Melanie, this cute girl who just lives across the street, she’s like, I bet your babysitter is totally having sex with somebody after you go to sleep. And he’s like, what? No. And she’s like, seriously, you should wait up and see what happens after you go to sleep. So they hatch this plan. And that is what propels us into the hour after the first half hour. It’s only an hour and 25 minutes.

Todd:  Really short.

Craig:  And so it’s really short and so much happens Mhmm. That it’s amazing to me that it’s it’s that short. But, that’s that’s then the setup. He’s gonna wait up, Todd see what happens after the kid goes to sleep.

Todd:  And and, you know, I think, actually, that’s a great thing. Something’s gotta be said about the style of this film, and I know we’ll talk about it more later. But, like, McG, you can tell he comes from a music video background. And all the Charlie’s Angels movies have that, you know, aesthetic where he’ll do interesting things with camera angles and movements and he’ll do slow motion mixed with normal motion even in the same scene. All these little tricks and and things that keep it cool and clever and and fun to watch and not very pedestrian and the writing is that way Todd. It’s just again, like I said, it’s very economical and even though the movie feels short there’s so much that happens and it moves that you never wants are you’re not you don’t end it unsatisfied. And and it’s really nice I think that it’s not padded with a lot of extra garbage, just to run time or to give us more background than we need on any of these characters or anything like that. It’s just not a movie that should be concerned with it, and so it’s not. And that requires real discipline and I really liked the movie for that.

Craig:  Yeah. Absolutely. And and so at some point, b, the babysitter says, oh, it’s getting really late, you know, and he’s like, but I’m not tired. So, well, I am. And so she says, well, if I give you a shot, will you go to bed? And he’s like, okay. Like, again, when I was 12, I wasn’t particularly interested in drinking, but just to have an older hot girl offer you some alcohol, like, sure. And she goes and she pours him a shot. She brings it back. I I think just because he’s hesitant about doing it, he says, Well, aren’t you going to take one with me? And she says, Okay. And so, she goes in there and you can kind of see him arguing with himself in his mind, like, what am I gonna do? And eventually, he dumps it in the flower pot and pretend that he, took it.

Todd:  That was a good touch too. Right? It wasn’t like a sitcom where she leaves the room, and immediately he had this plan that he’s gonna toss it in the plant. Mhmm. You could see this inner monologue going on where he’s kind of like, okay. Okay. Let love let’s just do it and and tosses it the plant. And and it was it their moments like that in this movie with his performance and I guess with the direction Todd that are just make it really believable, that just really help you to relate to this kid. It’s just genius, acting, honestly. I I thought the kids acting was one of the best child actor performances I’ve ever seen. Absolutely. Hands down.

Craig: He was he was fantastic, and I’ve watched this movie twice now. It was even better the second time like I because I was watching more closely. And and that’s the thing. Really, ultimately what this is, is a coming of age story and it’s about this kid who is so scared of everything and through the course of the events of the movie, he grows up and and he learns not to be afraid, and and to, you know, to to face his fears. But here early on, he’s still he’s he’s just scared of everything. And, so he’s he’s too scared to do it, and so he dumps it out. And so she comes back, and she takes a shot, and she sends him up to bed and he pretends to be asleep, but really he’s FaceTiming and texting with Melanie across the street. Eventually at about 11: 30 or something, he hears the doorbell ring, and he’s like, they’re here.

Craig:  And the kid says, there’s a bunch of them. And Melanie’s like, oh, my gosh. I bet they’re gonna have an orgy. And the kid you see on his face, he’s like, orgy? And so he Googles it real quick. And then of course, they blur it all out. Like we can see what’s on his screen, but they blur it all out. But you can just hear, like, all the moaning and stuff. Like, the

Todd:  Google image search or whatever pulled us a whole bunch of pictures for Orgy.

Craig:  G. And so Melanie tells them she should go out, that he should go out and, see what they’re doing. So he goes out there and there’s this group sitting around in a circle, and at first I thought they were playing spin the bottle, but really, they’re not. They’re playing truth or dare with a bottle. But the bottle spins and it stops on each character. And this is something that happens throughout the movie. This graphic text will pop up on screen at various moments. And again, this was something that the one review I read of it was really critical about, like, oh, it’s too hip. I thought it was funny. Like, I I really liked it. But, as the bottle spins, it stops on each of the characters. And it’s all these super stereotypically super, super hot people. The first one is Max, who’s like the jock late ladies, lady listeners, and friends of mine, you are going to enjoy watching, this guy pritch around the screen for the rest of this movie. Oh my god. Alright. I’ll try not to go on about it too much. So hot. I I wrote all these actors’ names down. The guy who plays Max is, Robbie Amell. And I didn’t he’s been in tons of stuff. Like, he’s been acting since he was, like, 6 or something. He’s been in tons of stuff. The only thing that I recognized him from was he in the, new iteration of the X Files. He’s he’s one of the agents, and I remembered him from that. And then you’ve got Allison who is played by Bella Thorne, who’s kind of this up and coming starlet.

Todd:  Yeah.

Craig:  She’s on the TV series Scream on MTV, or she was. I think she got killed off. And then there’s John, who’s been in stuff, but I didn’t really recognize him for much. He’s played by Andrew Bachelor. And there’s Sonya who is played by Hana Mei Lee who a lot of people like myself will probably recognize from the Pitch Perfect movies. She’s this, beautiful Asian girl and she’s hilarious in the, Pitch Perfect movies. So they’re the hot group and then there’s also one other guy with them, Samuel, who is this really super nerdy guy, even way nerdier than Cole, who Cole had seen be kinda getting cozy with a little bit earlier in the movie. And so they’re sitting there and they’re playing truth or dare. It eventually gets to be and Max dares her to kiss everyone in the group. And this scene was just kind of gratuitous, but Yeah. I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s the performance or the directing or the writing. It just it’s a scene that shouldn’t work. Like, it should be too hokey to work. But, I don’t know. Maybe it was 12 year old me, like Cole, you know, staring through the banisters from the top who just worked for me as well as it worked for him, I guess. What do you think?

Todd:  I don’t know. You know, I have to say it was super gratuitous, and it was a little silly. And I kinda It’s a

Craig:  lot silly. It’s a lot silly, but I can embrace the silliness.

Todd:  So so all these people are are stereotypes. Right? Max is the white chiseled jock. Allison is the ditzy cheerleader who cares about her looks. John is the mouthy black guy who’s clever with you know, and quippy. And so is the mysterious Asian, and Samuel is the total nerd. Right? And so, you know, she goes to Max and she kisses him. She goes to Allison, and they have this long kiss. Lots of them.

Craig:  Lots of up on the top of the…

Todd:  It’s super gratuitous. And then John

Craig:  Pretty hot, though. Right? Oh, it’s hot.

Todd:  That’s for sure. It kinda belongs in a different movie. But

Craig:  I was proud of those actresses. Like, yeah. Go for it and do it.

Todd:  They really did. And then John’s, like, over there gearing up again, just like the mouthy black guy. Oh, man. I gotta get ready for this. And he’s, like, got this, like, foot long Chap stick that he, you know, is flying to his lips and stuff. And then she

Craig:  goes over and she licks him. She licks his face.

Todd:  Yeah. Licks his face. And then, you know, she goes over to Sonia, and they have this like I said, it’s like this almost like ritualistic mysterious, exchange. You know? Mhmm. She kisses her forehead. She kisses her forehead. They look at it. It’s it’s it’s so goofy, honestly. But, yeah, you’re right. If you were a 12 year old looking through the banister at this, you’d be pretty, you’d be pretty impressed. I didn’t mind it. I didn’t mind it. Just gonna say.

Craig:  At at 12 years old, by the end of that, I probably would have been done and ready to go to bed.

Clip:  Oh,

Todd:  man. And then she gets to Samuel, and this is where I think everything about this scene and maybe this maybe the gratuitousness of it was good in the respect that it really makes you uncomfortable at this point. Mhmm. This scene almost feels like it belongs in an eighties movie because it would be the kind of scene that we would look at now and we’d be really critical of. It’s way too uncomfortable for our modern times. You know, we it’s like we we should we’re kinda beyond this, or we think we’re beyond this. And she gets to this guy, and it starts to get really uncomfortable because he really is nervous, and he’s scared about it. And on the one hand, you’re thinking, oh, this is the nerd. He’s about to get the first kiss of his life. But then he he stands up, and he backs away, and he’s like, I’m really uncomfortable. You know? I I’ve just met you. And it’s like, yeah. This is really kinda messed up. She’s

Craig:  Well, and everybody’s, like, rooting him on, like, come on, buddy. You can do this. You can do this. And this actor who whoever he is, like, he’s just really soft spoken and, like, you feel bad for this kid. Like, he seems really sweet and and and and and on one hand, you feel uncomfortable for him because he’s in this situation. On the other hand, I’m kind of rooting for him like, do it buddy. Yeah. She’s

Todd:  tells him to close his eyes, and he’s like, but if if I close my eyes, they’re still there. And she’s like, do you trust me? And he says, yes. So he closes his eyes, and suddenly she raises her arms and drives 2 daggers straight into his head. And that was completely shocking. Like, no matter where you think this movie is going, you did not expect this scene, and it really freaking bothered me. It really bothered me. You get over it because you realize I mean, you knew you were in a comedy, and you’re supposed

Craig:  to

Todd:  laugh these things off, but that’s really dark.

Craig:  It was. I mean, she did kiss him first. I mean, I I I guess at least there’s that. She gave him kind of a sweet kiss first, but then, you know, it’s so sudden when she stabs him in the head. And, like, he’s not immediately dead, which I guess I assume. I don’t know what would happen if you got stabbed with 2 big daggers directly in your head. But she she he starts screaming and she says

Clip:  You’re helping fulfill a great purpose,

Craig:  gonna be more bits.

Todd:  Did he just say porpoise?

Craig:  No. I think he did.

Clip:  I didn’t even get a chance to understand.

Craig:  It it’s kinda sad. And that’s what I like about this movie is that it’s surprisingly emotional. And when we get to the end, I’m gonna go on and on about that, but I can appreciate a movie like this for being funny, for being gory, and it is. I mean, she, you know, she stabs him in the head. He’s immediately, you know, covered in blood. Blood is spurting out all over the place. It’s a it’s gory and super violent at times. Yeah. But I expect that in this type of horror comedy, And I expect the kind of quippy comedy. What I don’t expect is to be kind of moved on a more emotional level.

Todd:  Yeah.

Craig:  And when that happens, it strikes me, and that does happen here. You know, I I legitimately felt sad for this kid. Like, this was kind of a sad moment.

Todd:  Oh, and I was I was horrified at at at the 12 year old watching this. You know? Mhmm. His totally awesome babysitter who he’s got this fantastic relationship, just did this horrible thing. I mean, my heart crushed in, like, you know, 2 or 3 different directions.

Craig:  I tell

Todd:  you, like, just before this, I I mean, quite literally up to this scene, my wife was in the room, but she’s doing something else. And I was watching this on my on my laptop, and I I turned to her, and I said, this movie is really good. And, you know, depending on how all this turns out, maybe you and I should sit down and watch this. Then about a minute later, I said, nope. That ain’t happening. Man. She she she doesn’t like gore, though.

Craig:  I know. Yeah. No. And so she right. So she especially wouldn’t like this part because they start and from this part on, they keep referring to him as sacrifice Samuel, which is hilarious and so mean. But they, they start collecting his blood in goblets, and at one point, like, John, the black guy is, like, tapping it like it’s not working like like it’s a keg or something, and and then blood sprays all over his, face and he’s, like, freaking out. And Bea is calm all along, and she’s like, things can get messy when you make a deal with the devil. And that’s what it turns out that they’re doing. Like this group of young, hot, stereotypical people apparently are some kind of cult led by Bee, and, they’re they’re doing a human sacrifice. But this is where, you know, like you said, it’s so quippy and and so not really anything anybody would ever say. Allison, who’s the cheerleader one, I mean, she’s in her cheerleader outfit. She says

Clip:  Look at this shit. That would go viral so hard. I mean, nobody’s done human sacrifice. People have always done human sacrifice. Yeah. But, like, not in America with hot people.

Craig:  And it’s, it’s, I, you know, it is very, you know, quote unquote hip, but at the same time, I, I feel like it’s kind of genuinely reflective of American culture right now. Like

Todd:  it’s a parody. It really is.

Craig:  That’s what people are concerned about. People are concerned about, and people, I’m I’m vastly generalizing, but people who are concerned about going viral and getting famous, they don’t care how it affects other people, or even humiliating or degrading themselves. That’s beside the point. You know, the point is to get shares and likes and Yeah. I don’t think that this movie is going out of its way to make any kind of social commentary,

Todd:  but It does.

Craig:  If you read anything into it, you know, it’s it’s there.

Todd:  Well, yeah. I mean, remember was it last year or a couple years ago, the guy who got shot by his girlfriend and died because they were trying to make viral videos, and he thought that a book would stop a bullet.

Craig:  Right. Mhmm.

Todd:  Yeah. I mean, this stuff really does happen. So for her to comment on it, it’s it’s it’s funny because it’s true. It’s it’s definitely a a satire in that way. You can kind of see the whole movie as as a satire at several levels, you know, like, on American culture, especially. You can look at the wittiness and the almost too clever for its own good stuff and read into that things like I mean, what she’s going for in this ritual that she does is just whatever you want, basically. It’s just a sort of desire to be happy, and at what cost Todd doesn’t matter. And the fact that these people, the thing that the thing that kind of strikes you as a little unreal about this movie is the fact that it seems like for most of the people at this, except for her, this is their first time. Like, they’re all newbies at this. Did you get that impression?

Craig:  I I instructing them. Yeah. You need to do this.

Todd:  You gotta collect the blood. Maybe Sonia, because she’s so mysterious, has done it before, and she’s so calm. You know? They didn’t know what to do. They were just being instructed by her. So, like, the the fact that this doesn’t bother any of them in the slightest, you know, strikes you as a little unreal unless you see it again as as satire.

Craig:  Yeah. I did get the impression that it was probably new for them, and and, you know, this is left very ambiguous. Gosh, I I hate to kind of jump to and spoil the end. Bea says something like, Well, I’m gonna have to skip town again. So it seems like she has done this before. But the impression that I got, and this is just totally my interpretation, I think it’s intentionally left ambiguous, but my impression was that she maybe has done this before and that she just kind of recruits these vapid people who want something entirely selfish but are willing to do anything for it and therefore, you know, can help to serve her purpose. I don’t know if that is is what it’s intended to be or if she moves from place to place and genuinely makes friends with these types of people, but she doesn’t particularly seem, none of them seem to care about any of the rest of them. Yeah. So I don’t know.

Todd:  It’s just a weird dichotomy for a movie that has such an interesting emotional element with a believable, you know, with with a kid, with where he is at, with his complex feelings that are very real and very natural for a kid at that age that you can really relate Todd. It’s played against this group of people that are that aren’t even people, you know. There’s stock characters who have no emotional connection to each other or anything that’s happening. They’re just there to, you know, to spout witty one liners at one another and just go through, you know, the plot. So Tim pushed the kid through his journey, but they’re just kinda pawns in in the story.

Craig:  Yeah. And I gosh. I’m sitting here, you know, processing what you’re saying, and I feel like we could talk for the next half half hour about how that in itself is commentary. You know? How Yeah.

Todd:  That’s what I’m saying.

Craig:  Youth cult yeah. Youth culture today, you know, it’s so me, me, me and but but let’s not. Let’s

Todd:  let’s keep going. Going. We try not to get too deep on this, guys.

Craig:  Right. And it’s easy for us old folks to sit here and comment on youth culture. You know, I’m sure that we were probably just as self absorbed as they were at their age. Anyway, so Cole sees all this, and he hears Bee say, Okay, well, first of all, she’s got this book. I’m going to call it the Necronomicon even though they never call it that because that’s what I’m used to seeing in horror movies. But it’s the devil’s book and it’s the only one somehow she has it. And so they’re looking at it and she says, okay, let’s get started before we have to go upstairs and get the blood of the innocent. And so he hears this, and of course he freaks out, and he runs up to his room, and he’s looking all around, and there’s cool camera angles, like, kind of tracking shots in front of his face. And it’s all very panicky, and it feels very panicky on the screen. And he calls 911, and he gives them the appropriate information. You know, he gives them his address. He says my parents are staying at the Hyatt in the city, can you please get in contact with them? And he gets a pocket knife, and of course the words pop up on screen, pocket knife. Like, we have to point out the irony here. Like, this kid thinks he’s gonna protect himself with a pocket knife. But again, I thought it was funny. Like, it’s it’s kind of hilarious that he thinks that he’s gonna protect himself from this group of athletic people with a pocket knife. But eventually, he hears them coming up, so he hides in his well, he doesn’t hide. He just lays down in his bed and pretends to be asleep. And, they come in, and B says that he won’t hear us because of all the drugs I gave him. Apparently, that shot was drugged. But she says, do you have the needle? And, they and his eyes pop open. He’s facing away from them, but the camera is facing towards all them. So we see his eyes pop open into a state. Right. Right. And then he they they’re they’re drawing his blood, and we know how mortified he is of needles, but he has to pretend to sleep through this, and of course, they have to stick him more than once to actually get the vein. Just it’s so fast, like, I don’t know Todd run through the plot points. Okay. So they leave, but as B is the last one walking out, she notices the window’s open, which I guess maybe she remembers that it wasn’t open before. So, we kind of see that she notices and then she closes the door and he jumps up and he makes a sheet rope because he’s on the second floor and, he’s gonna try to climb down but then we see that B is actually standing behind him and he passes out. That was one of the only things and still kind of one of the only things that bothers me. I guess he was supposed to be passing out because of low blood sugar. Like, that’s what they say. That’s what they say later. I mean, it’s not like they took a pint of blah blah, like It’s

Todd:  the smallest thing.

Craig:  They took like a

Todd:  squid. Yeah. Right? I thought it was fright and that the the low blood sugar was just kind of a joke at the end or, you know, after it, but I

Craig:  I know. I I just thought that it was weird that he had enough strength and energy to get up and make this sheet rope and throw it out the window and then just, Oh, well, wait a second. I need to pass out. But it’s okay because when he wakes up, he’s, oh, it’s just classic. Like, he’s got that foggy kind of wake up shot where, you know, we are kind of seeing through his eyes. And then there’s just this tableau of these hot people standing in front of him. And Max, the hot guy, has no shirt on. And the first thing he says is

Clip:  Why is he shirtless?

Craig:  That’s your first question?

Clip:  I mean, how can you even ask that? Just look at him. I still don’t get it.

Craig:  Because we’re in this movie, and why wouldn’t he be shirtless? And then there’s, like, a whole there’s, like, a whole dialogue where they’re going back and forth with questions, and he just keep, like, they’re asking Bee’s asking him, like, why were you awake? Why is he shirtless? I it’s not gonna come across as funny, listeners, when I’m repeating it, but I swear to Todd, it’s hilarious. This scene is hilarious in the movie. Yeah.

Todd:  In the meantime, he saws away at that the ropes with a pocket knife behind his back, and there’s even another shot up on the scene. It’s like pocket knife, bitchin’. Mhmm. Like like, halfway through their whole dialogue, Allison just turns, and she says, oh, it’s so cute. He doesn’t realize there’s a mirror behind him. We could see that he’s sawing through the ropes. So he just starts sawing fast. She’s like, oh, look. He’s sawing faster. Like, it’s gonna make any difference. It’s it’s just funny. Like, what’s really nice about it is it’s it’s it’s pretty unpredictable. Like, I thought, I mean, like I said, sometimes the scenes are predictable in and of themselves, but what’s gonna happen and what’s gonna be the outcome turns out to really subvert your expectations a lot of the time. Like, here, you don’t know what the heck’s gonna happen. And I actually thought, well, did he even call the police? Like, was that a trick or some kind of somebody else on the other line? And then when the sirens come and it turns out those cops are gonna show up, I thought, oh, okay. They’re gonna do one of those deals where they know officer. Everything’s fine while the kids, you know, hidden with a hand over his mouth. No. The police, like, kick the door down and bust in with gut with guns, and I did not expect them to then take out the cops. Yeah.

Craig:  It’s a it’s a funny scene. Something that I only caught the second time around was that b before the cops arrive, b is talking to him, and we we just needed your blood for a science experiment. And the kid’s kind of playing along with her, but it it really he’s like, well, why didn’t you just ask? I would have given it to her, and and it at some point, like, right after he wakes up, he says to her, and I just think that this is so sweet and innocent. He, you know, he says to her, are you mad at me? Like, and it seems so genuine. Like, he here he is tied up to a chair. You know, they’ve taken his blood without his permission. But the and and maybe, I don’t know if the line was meant to be ironic, but he delivers it in such a sincere way. Like, are you mad at me? Like, through all this, he’s really still concerned about you know, this is his friend. You know, this is like his best friend.

Todd:  Well, he’s still written as as a 12 year Todd. And his logic, his his brain I mean, it’s it’s actually pretty brilliant. His logic and everything that he says and that he does still comes from a very believable 12 year old stance, whereas nobody else in the movies, you know, believable. Sure.

Craig:  Well, and that’s and then so she tells them, well, it was just for a science experiment. And he said, well, why didn’t you just ask me? You know, I would have let you.

Clip:  I won’t tell my parents that you guys were having an orgy and needed my blood to do it. Do you even know what an orgy is? I’m guessing it’s something sad people do because they want other sad people to like them, and they can forget for one minute how sad they are in general.

Craig:  That’s actually a pretty good answer. It

Clip:  was for a science project. Okay? The orgy? No. The blood. An orgy is when a bunch of people have sex together, we probably wouldn’t need your blood for that.

Craig:  Just just these quitty one liners. But, she’s gonna let him go. She says, it seems like this was all just a big misunderstanding. Untie him, go back to bed. She’s gonna let him go, but then the cops show up and she’s like, did you call the cops? If you called the cops that must mean you saw something that you weren’t supposed to see. I guess if he hadn’t called the cops, maybe he could have got through the night, but instead, they show up. And then things just go crazy.

Todd:  1 throws a poker through one of the cops eyes, and one in the meantime, that cop ends up shooting and the stray bullet goes through the at one of the Allison’s boobs, which just causes her great consternation for the rest of the movie.

Craig:  Some of my favorite lines some of my favorite lines like, oh, who’s gonna wanna suck my nipples now? Nobody.

Todd:  Who’s gonna motorboat me? Who would motorboat this? Yeah.

Craig:  God. So there’s the whole showdown with the cops. In the meantime, Cole has gotten himself free and he takes off running. John chases him upstairs and he says, What are you doing little kid? This ain’t Home Alone. And then immediately he slips. He slips on a toy car and falls over the banister and kills himself in like 3 different ways. And so he’s laying there dead and they’re all just looking at him like, Oh man, he’s dead. And Bee’s like, Great, now I gotta clean this up. So, Max and Sonia are on the hunt for him and Max chases them upstairs and is pounding on his door. And Cole tries to go out the window on his rope, but Max gets there and he starts pulling it up. But, Cole ends up letting go and he falls, down to the ground. And then this whole next, I don’t know, 20 minutes or so is kind of chasey. And if one were to be critical, it doesn’t bother me, but if one were to be critical they could say, this is really hokey because it’s just him facing off against each one of them individually. Like in in real life it would make more sense for them, you know, to be together and find them, and it would be really easy for them to take him out together.

Clip:  Yeah.

Craig:  But instead, no. It’s just 1 on 1, each one of them facing off with them.

Todd:  And, of course, it’s him always running back into the house, always, you know, grabbing something and going back at them instead of running down the street to a neighbor or running to the cops. And, of course, the whole neighborhood is quiet no matter how much noise is made in this. Like, the way he kills Sonya is, like, in the crawl space. He shoots off a firecracker and sprays a big can of raid in there, which explodes her, you know, blows her up, makes this huge explosion, and nobody from the neighborhood comes out running, you know. It’s it’s one of those kind of movies. You really have to suspend your disbelief.

Craig:  And then there’s a whole scene with his confrontation with Max, which is really, you know, Max is this big, hot, scary guy, but he treats Cole almost like a little brother, like he wants him to man up. He catches him, and like he’s holding him up by his throat, but then they hear something, and it’s the bully from way earlier in the movie egging the house.

Todd:  Who is this kid? She’s an asshole.

Craig:  You egg

Todd:  your house a lot?

Clip:  Sometimes. So

Todd:  what are you gonna do about it?

Clip:  What? I

Todd:  said, are you gonna let that little punk come on to your property, your family’s property, and disrespect you like that? No. Hell no. This is America. You need to wreck his ass. Are you kidding me? Get out there and crush that bitch.

Craig:  And he kisses him on the forehead. Like, it’s such a weird Yeah. But it’s so weird, but for some reason it works. Like, it’s funny. Like, this guy is so crazy and bizarre that in one moment he’s going to kill this kid, and then in the next moment he’s giving him the big brother pep talk and giving him a kiss on the forehead, like patting him on the butt, like, you can do it, buddy.

Todd:  Well, to be fair, it only works because we realized by this point that this is just a crazy movie that’s willing to go about any place, you know, for a laugh.

Craig:  Right.

Todd:  Not not because it’s true to character or it’s, you know, realistic in any way, shape, or form. It’s just that by now, we we’re kind of realized we’ve stumbled into the naked gun of, of the Yeah. Kind of a movie. So yeah. Yeah. You can go with it, and it’s and it’s funny. It really is funny, But it gives him that another moment where he tries to stand up to this bully and he fails yet again.

Craig:  Yeah. Sadly. But, so then Cole comes, and he’s like, well, I’m at least proud of you for standing up for yourself, but I’m gonna kill you now. And so then he chases him to his treehouse, and he’s, Cole is up in his treehouse and the guy is like, like he’s doing the Friday 13th thing. That was funny. And eventually, he crawls up there and he’s like, don’t worry, little guy. I’m not gonna let you die with egg on your face because the bully had smashed an egg on the kid’s head. Alright. And so he wipes, right, so he wipes the egg off his face, and so he then his hands are all slimy. And somehow, I don’t know if Cole jumps down or climbs down or what, but Max tries to follow him and he ends up tripping, and he tries to grab onto a branch, but because he has egg on his hands, he slips, and then his, conveniently his neck gets tangled up in the rope and he ends up getting killed. So there’s the next one down. And then B shoots a shot gun at Cole from the porch, and Cole’s like, why are there guns? And he he runs across the street to Melanie’s house where he finds Melanie, who’s along, then they hide and there’s kind of a tense moment. But then Cole and Melanie end up in the bathroom, and he’s like, you know, I’m gonna take care of this. I’m gonna protect you. I should’ve never gotten you into this. And they kiss, and there’s great music cues. We haven’t talked about that at all, but there are these great music cues throughout, you know, all this eighties and before music that just pops in every once in a while at appropriate times. I really enjoyed that. But Cole is like, I’m gonna take care of this. And he says, I’m really glad we kissed. And she’s, me Todd. Next time, let’s make out. He runs off and he lures Bea back to the house which is where they have their, well, first of all, he has a showdown with Allison, which is hilarious. He finds her body and thinks she’s dead, but she’s not. And then she attacks him, and she’s, like, beating the crap out of him. So he starts punching her, and she he punches her in the boobs, and she jumps off. She’s, like, Oh my god, you little perv. I can’t believe he punched me in the boob. I didn’t try to kill you by punching you in the dick. And like, they have this whole conversation where she talks about how this spell was supposed to make their big dreams come true, and she just wanted to be a journalist, and he tries to flatter her, and he’s like, well, you’re still pretty. You could still be. And she plays along with it for a little while, but then she, attacks him again. And just when it looks like she’s going to kill him, Bee blows her head off.

Clip:  Holy shit. Found this in the pop card. That was so graphic.

Craig:  Then what’s going on? Like he wants to know. He’s got her book and he’s got a lighter and he’s like, I’ll burn your book. I wanna know what’s going on. I deserve to know what’s going on. And she kinda tells him, you know, you can get what whatever wish you want, and he says, so you just used me? That’s all I was to you? You just used me? And she’s like, no. I chose you. You’re my guy. And in theory, they never would have had to kill him. They just needed his blood. They had to sacrifice somebody, but they needed his blood. I don’t know that the plan ever was to kill him. No. I don’t think that it was. No. But he feels used. And and she basically says, we can still be together. All we have to do is tell them that all the rest of those folks attacked us, you and me against the world. But he’s past that, and so he he says, I have a plan Todd. And he lights the book on fire and he throws it in the corner near the front of the house and she bats it out. And this leads up to a scene that I swear to God had me laughing and crying and cheering. One of the best scenes in a movie I’ve seen ever. I just love it. So he runs across the street to Melanie’s house, and and we’ve already seen that Melanie’s dad has this stupid muscle car. And as he’s running, it cuts to slow motion and it starts playing Queen’s We Are the Champions from the very beginning. And so he’s running in slow motion, and he gets in the car. And we had already also seen earlier that he’s into these, like, remote controlled cars and he likes Todd, like, jump them off ramps and stuff. And so he gets in the car and he starts the car and We Are the Champions are playing and he just guns it and Melanie is watching him adoringly from her window and he guns it down the road with this music playing, and guns it straight towards his house, and like right at the last moment he cranks up the radio that’s playing We Are the Champions, and he’s got this, you know, look on his face like he’s just, he’s doing this. And he jumps up over like the pile of rubble that’s been established is on his corner, but it’s like a ramp. And he jumps the car over this ramp and it flips over and is flying through the air. Just before it crashes through the house, B looks up and sees it coming, and it just crashes right down on top of her, like through the whole house. Oh my God, it was such a cool scene. And you’re, this kid, this 12 year old kid, you know, it’s like his balls dropped in that moment. Like, like he’s got this, he is going to do this. And then he crawls out of the car and they have this, you know, he he comes out and she’s pinned underneath the car, but she talked to him again the same way that she talked to him before. Like, you know, like they were friends. They have this really sweet conversation and and she says, you know, wow. You crashed a car through your front porch. Didn’t see that coming. You know? And then they have this really sweet conversation, and he says, you never asked me who my intergalactic dream team would

Clip:  Admiral Adamowicz lead data for his intelligence and cool head, predator to fight, and me and you. You didn’t say we could add ourselves. Science fiction, you can do anything. Well, I guess that’s true. But don’t you get it yet? I am the big bear.

Craig:  And he he looks at her, and he just says, I loved you. And she’s Craig. Like, the acting here is just so Todd, like, you really feel like his heart is broken. Like, this girl who he loved betrayed him. That’s the worst part of it. That’s, you know, all of this violence and stuff that he had to go through, that was bad. But it was the fact that she betrayed him, that was the worst part. And you feel like she feels bad that their friendship is ending, but he just says goodbye. And then, the cops show up, and he has a cute little sweet scene with Melanie where she gives him a kiss in front of her dad, and the parents show up and they’re like, Oh my gosh. What happened? What happened? What happened? And he just kinda walks away from them towards the rubble of his house and looks back and says, I don’t need a babysitter anymore. And it’s just this really sweet coming of age kind of thing. And that’s that’s legit where the movie ends. You know, that emotional scene at the end, that is what just sold it for me. I was so after that, I was like, this movie rocks. Oh my god. I loved it so much.

Todd:  It was it was very much, in the vein of the final girls in some ways. Yeah? This just this really, tender relationship. I mean, it goes into different direction, but, it evokes a similar kind of feeling in the midst with a lot of serious goofiness in between. Although, I felt like the final girls just kind of rung a little more true. Yeah. I just love this movie. I thought it was wonderful. Loved it from beginning to end. I could understand the criticisms against it, but, honestly, who cares? It’s a movie. You know, I’m willing to kinda I don’t do that with every movie, but, with this movie, I’ll give it a pass because it was so entertaining. Right? Just funny. Yeah. Really good music, fantastic cinematography. I don’t mind McGhee at all. I think that the stuff he does is fun. He’s got his own style. You know, if you can sit through 5 Wes Anderson movies in a row, then you can sit through a movie that feels like a music video. You know? Who cares? Right. It was just a fun movie, and I wasn’t expecting it to have the pathos that it had. You know. It really wasn’t. Even as the movie went on, you know, I just didn’t expect it to end on that note. I wasn’t crying by the end, but I was super emotional about it as well. Definitely.

Craig:  It’s really rare for me in movies, period, to have that kind of emotional investment in characters and especially in horror movies because usually in horror movies they don’t even try, and that’s okay. I’m not looking for that kind of emotional investment most of the time. But those two characters, and I have Todd, I’m sure the writing and the direction played a large part, but I really think that it was the performance of Yeah. Those two actors, the actors who played Cole and Bea, Like, I just, I bought their relationship so much and I was so invested in both of them as characters. And then at the end, yeah, she outright says, I’m the big bad. I am the villain. And, yeah, you are. But, gosh, I still have this, and I’m still sad that your relationship is over. Like, I wish you could still be friends. Darn it. You guys had

Todd:  a good thing going there.

Craig:  You really did. I agree with you. I love this movie. I have and will continue to recommend it to people. It’s just, it’s fun. It’s a fun, fun movie. Watch this movie. Well, thank you for listening Todd another episode of 2 Guys and a Chainsaw. If you liked this episode, we have a bazillion back episodes you could listen to. Please, feel free to comment. Let us know what you thought about this movie, unless you didn’t like it because then I might have to get nasty. No, just kidding. We’re open to any, conversation that you may have. We’re also open to, any movies that you would like for us to watch and and review. You can find us on Stitcher, on Itunes, we’re on Facebook. Until next week, I’m Craig

Todd:  And I’m Todd. With 2 Guys and a Chainsaw.