Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)

Episode 77, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd:  Hello, and welcome to another episode of 2 Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd,

Craig; and I’m Craig.

Todd: Today’s film is the classic that everyone is sure to love. Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. 1988 film from a very prolific director, David DeCoteau. 

Craig:  Yeah. I was just gonna say with a title like that, how can you go wrong? 

Todd:  That’s right. You know? Is that how you how’s your French, Craig? David de Couteau. Do you know this? Couteau is am I pronouncing this right? 

Craig:  I have no idea if you’re pronouncing it right or not, but it was funny. I I looked this guy up today to see if I recognized anything else that he had done, and, really, I didn’t, but you’re you’re right. He is really prolific. What I thought was really interesting about him, I was reading in his IMDB bio that his method of filmmaking is that he just wants to make popular movies. He wants to make movies that people are gonna wanna see. And so he, has done, like, really diverse stuff, and he’s directed under various aliases depending on what type of stuff he’s doing. I guess, at some point in his career, probably early, I would guess, he did some adult films under a different name, and he’s also done some, like, I don’t know if they were technically Hallmark Channel or Lifetime, but those types of movies, romances and, like, my mom turned into a dog and those kinds of family friendly fare. He’s also done he’s done and and those he does under, a woman’s name, Mary something.   And, he’s also done some, like, softcore gay erotica thrillers. So, like, he’s got Oh, really? 

Todd:  This re 

Craig:  yeah. And he’s done, you know, I think he’s got over 50 directing credits, so he’s really, and he’s still working. I mean, he’s he’s got movies in production and postproduction. So, this guy, he’s got a pretty established career. 

Todd:  I’m looking at his page right now, Craig. Don’t sell this man short. He’s got a 131 directing credits. 

Craig:  Really? Wow. 

Todd:  And he’s like, you’re right. He’s it’s it’s like 5 movies a year. It’s insane. Like, ever since the eighties. It’s it’s crazy. I did look up a little bit more about him because I do recognize him. I have seen other stuff that he’s done. He’s a name that keeps popping up, but I never knew to give him so much credit.   I mean, bless this guy’s heart. I think he’s Canadian, and you’re right, he just does what’s going to sell. And I looked up a quote, and I think it’s from an interview where he mentioned that in the eighties was kind of a golden era. He said that home video market was really booming and basically, you couldn’t fill it fast enough. So he said it was really easy to sell movies back then, and I think this would be one of those films that he just made for the home video market. And he keeps saying a lot of his movies, they do really really well, but you’re not gonna recognize most of them. 

Craig:  Right. Right. And it’s funny, like you said, I mean, he just cranks them out. Like, I read that as soon as this movie was over, he started his next movie, and he just used the same cast and crew. Like Yeah.   Like, they just kept making movies.   So I I interesting. 

Todd:  The other one that I really recognize I’ve never seen it yet, but I I always saw the cover was Creepazoids. Creepazoids. 

Craig:  Yeah. Yeah. 

Todd:  You remember that one? And there’s another one. 

Craig:  I don’t remember it, but I’ve heard of it. 

Todd:  Doctor Alien, and he did a couple of the puppet master, sequels, not the original, but a few of the sequels. So yeah. Well, hats off to this man. He’s still going, and, bless his heart. He’s still making movies, and people are watching them, or else he wouldn’t still be doing it. We’re watching this one. That’s right. Now I actually put this one on the list because I wanted to discuss this with you, not because it’s super profound, but just because I have lots of memories of this movie.   You and I have talked before in the past about our fondness for USA Up All Night, and that is where I saw this movie. Now I don’t know if it just made that deep of an impression on me that I remember it all this time or if they showed this movie several times. I don’t know if they repeated films on that on that series or not, but I definitely 

Craig:  sure they did. 

Todd:  I remember sitting up and watching this movie and thinking this is insane, but enjoying it nonetheless for what it was. And what it is is a very low budget I mean, almost so bad it’s good horror movie. I don’t know. It falls into that category for me. Like, this is the kind of movie I think you could sit down and watch with your friends and laugh out loud at it. And although it’s not at the same level as one of our other favorite directors in this category. What’s his name? Did the, Sorority House Massacre 2 and all those, my buddy. 

Craig:  Oh, yeah. I don’t remember. You you told me. I don’t remember what his name is, but you’re right. I mean, it’s exactly that type of movie. It’s exactly the type of movie that you would have expected to see on USA Up All Night. And and and, you know, those movies often had titles, like this. And and, you know, this is one of those movies where if you look at this title and you look at the cover art, you know what you’re getting into.   Yeah. And so I I can’t imagine why anybody would go into this expecting anything of, you know, super high quality, super high caliber. I’m sure that it probably did stand out to you as a young boy and adolescent from the same reason that most of those movies, stuck out or stood out to us. Because there’s boobies and and you know, like it it seems very much targeted at an adolescent male audience. And, I think that adolescent males, could enjoy it. Now, maybe college age guys, our age guys, I would maybe advise drinking heavily 

Todd:  or 

Craig:  somehow altering your mind in some way. Cause I think, that it might be a little bit more of an enjoyable experience.   Than sitting down and watching it at noon on a Saturday afternoon by yourself, which is what I did today. 

Todd:  You poor, poor man. What you really need to do is, is sit down, you know, late at night. You’re right. As an adolescent boy with Rhonda Sheer popping in every now and then to do something Craig. Absolutely. Handle bowling balls or pins or something like that. Right. Well, this movie starts off, sure enough, with, 3 guys who are college age dudes sitting around, 3 very unlikely characters to be hanging out together, but, oh, well.   This is unique because it seems like we have 2 nerdy guys in the group, 2 guys who, for me, were so difficult to tell apart because they looked so similar, and we’re both wearing, like, the same pair of glasses. Am I wrong about this? Uh-huh. And then No. You’re right. You’re right. And then the fat guy. Right? The fat beer swilling guy. 

Craig:  Right. And the Well, and and I think that it’s it’s supposed to be that these are 3 nerdy guys. And it’s it’s funny because, you know, the the heavier one, I think his name was, Jimmy. You could see how he might not be the most popular, but the other two guys are these good looking eighties guys that they just slapped these big framed glasses on. Like, look. We’re nerds. 

Todd:  That’s right. You could tell they’re good looking under those glasses, but, we’re not supposed to know that. 

Craig:  Right. Exactly. And the other 2, one of them is Keith and, the other one is Calvin. And, the only one that I recognized of the guys was Calvin, and his name I think is Andres Jones. And the only thing that I recognized him from was he was in Nightmare on Elm Street 4. He played the main character’s brother, and he, like, fought Freddy   in a dojo like a ninja. Like, so   I remember that, I remember him from that, but, for the most part, there are definitely, most of these people were not recognizable to me. No. I’m most of these people were not recognizable to me. 

Todd:  No. These 3 guys are sitting. 1 is watching TV. Is it Calvin is the one who’s watching TV, or is it Keith? 

Craig:  Yeah. And he’s watching creepazoids. 

Todd:  That’s right. And, and and I guess Calvin’s supposed to be the guy who’s a little unsure about girls because Jimmy’s basically saying, hey, what are we gonna do tonight? Keith asks for a beer. 

Clip:  Oh, come   on. You gonna give me one of those brews or what? No way. Oh, come on. You gonna suck them all up by yourself? Sure. What after, man?   Oh, come   on. Let me have one.   What’s it worth to you?   Well,   I know where the Tri Delta sororities are having their initiation tonight. 

Todd:  Yeah? Delta Delta? 

Clip:  And you just might be able to watch.   I think that’s worth a brewskier Todd. 

Todd:  Yeah. Feltadelta. And so their idea is they’re gonna go watch this initiation because it’s gonna be sexy. 

Craig:  And it’s so cor I mean, the dialogue throughout, you know, I I almost have to think that they were they were playing it for the cheese because the it’s it’s just laid on so thick. And the delivery is is over the top and and silly. I mean, the acting, it’s hard to even be critical of the acting because you almost feel like, I get what they were going for. You know, this isn’t supposed to be high quality acting. It’s supposed to be goofy and cheesy and over the Todd. But the dialogue is just so silly. I mean, Keith, I think, is, talking about this, Feltadelta initiation, And he says something like Last year, there was a school with great boobs, and Babs makes her wear a bra full of worms and then do push ups, do deep push ups. Like like, how awesome would that be? Yeah.   God. It’s it’s it’s so silly. 

Todd:  That’s what gets me off. Definitely. 

Craig:  I can’t say that I’ve ever explored that particular fetish, but,   you know, to each their own. 

Todd:  I suppose. 

Craig:  Oh, man. And and and they’re just acting so goofy, and, like, they try to get Calvin to drink a beer, and apparently, he’s never drank before. And, like, so they kind of razz him about that and he finally takes it and he opens it with his teeth like like was that like a can of beer? A can of beer. He opens it with his teeth. Like was that a cool thing to do in the eighties? I don’t know. I wasn’t I wasn’t drinking beer in the eighties, so, maybe that was what the cool guys did. I don’t know. And then we jump from them over Todd Delta where we’ve got 3 sorority sisters.   The leader is Babs, and she’s played by Robin Still, who I think was kinda big in in the eighties. I well, not big, but Big. She was working. Yeah. And then there’s Rhonda, and then there’s another one. It was so hard to keep track of who these characters were because they’re so nondescript and it really doesn’t matter. I mean, those 3, they just are a trio, and they kinda do everything together. But they’re talking they’re they’re, like, getting ready.   They’re, like, putting robes on for this initiation, and they’re having these really vapid conversations about how the robes are gonna ruin their hair and blah blah. Oh my Todd. Eventually, it cuts out it cuts out to the living room where another thing that I thought was funny, apparently only 2 girls are rushing this sorority. And the 2 girls the 2 girls and they’re just sitting in the living room having a conversation and their names are Taffy and Lisa. And Lisa’s the tall one and Taffy’s the not tall one. Like that’s the only   sorority. Thanks for clearing that up. I mean, why are we putting up with this? You wanna get somewhere in this college, don’t you? This is the sorority to join. So what? You said humiliation is the only way to join a sorority. I think it’s supposed to build character and create a bond of sisterhood. I think it’s institutionalized, Sadie. Initiates were not given permission to speak. That infraction will require punishment.   And they they stand up, and and you realize that they’re in their panties and Crop tops. 

Todd:  Tops. Yeah. 

Craig:  The shortest the 

Todd:  shortest crop tops ever. That was hilarious. That was laugh out loud. 

Craig:  It it is hilarious.   It is. It’s because it doesn’t make any kind of sense. I mean, why I don’t know. I didn’t do the whole, Greek life thing so maybe that was a hazing thing. You know, I can see guys, you know, wanting to humiliate guys, but I don’t really know that I buy sorority girls forcing their pledges to run around in their panties. I don’t know what would be the appeal of that. But they they they so the sisters call them over like to this like table behind the couch and they make them bend over and they start spanking them with this paddle and they proceed to spank them for like the next 5 minutes. 

Todd:  It’s like non stop spanking for these poor girls. 

Craig:  And the girls are making these noises like, oh, ow, like, every time they get spanked.   And it goes on for so long because we see that the 3 guys have arrived at the house and, like, they arrive outside the front door of the house. We still hear the spanking going on. They walk around the house. We still see the spanking going on or hear the spanking going on. They look in the window. It’s still going on. And what I thought was the funniest one of the funniest parts of the movie was, they’re standing there. I mean, they literally have a direct they can’t be more than, I don’t know, 6, 7 feet away from these girls watching them get spanked.   And they’re like, hey, come on. Let’s find a better view. And, like, are you   kidding me? A better view? You’re like, you’re you’re basically in the same room.   Like on top of that. 

Todd:  These are front row seats right here. 

Craig:  I know. So silly. But, they they had to get them in the house, I guess, so they go in the house. 

Todd:  But my favorite part is that the house that they go to, clearly says alpha chi, omega on the front. And when the girls pull out, the girl pulls out the paddle to spank them with, the paddle is like is like beta pi theta. It’s it’s I it’s like they don’t know what sorority they’re really in. 

Clip:  Todd. That’s funny. I 

Craig:  didn’t even notice. 

Todd:  It’s hilarious because clearly, they’d actually shot this at a sorority house, and they actually got, like, an authentic paddle, but they couldn’t bothered to change the lettering on any of them. 

Craig:  Yeah. I mean, it it’s obvious that the the budget is super low. I I I think that all of their, filming was done on locations. I mean, most of the movie takes place in a mall, and they they just had to rent out this mall space, but, the budget was too low for them to shut down the mall and film during the day. So the mall would close at 9 o’clock, they would move in and start shooting until it opened again at 9 o’clock in the morning and they’d have to be out of there by then. That being said, as obvious as the low budget as it is and as cheese ball as the acting is, the movie doesn’t look bad. Not really. No.   From from a cinematography perspective, it looks alright. I mean, the script is stupid. There’s some cheap, corny effects, but the cinematography actually looks pretty good. It’s it’s really not it’s not grainy. It’s not it doesn’t seem pedestrian. It doesn’t seem like, you know, a made for TV movie. As far as, the the the camera work went, I I thought it was pretty impressive, actually. 

Todd:  Well, my only criticism of it is it seemed a little dark a lot of the times. There was cases where sometimes it was a little hard 

Clip:  to see, and you’re not sure if it was dark because of the transfer. 

Todd:  You know, sometimes just the transfer to video, things things, you know, get messed up, or if it’s because that’s the way they were going forward Todd try to create an atmosphere or because they were trying to hide a lot of stuff. It might be a combination 

Craig:  of all 3. I have a feeling that’s what it was was that they I I think they were trying to hide things, especially when you get into the second half of the movie and there’s some special effects and they’re, like, makeup effects and stuff, and they’re not very high-tech. I think they probably were trying to show, or hide rather some of that stuff. Yeah. But I mean, it it they just it just keeps laying the cheese on thick. Like, after they get spanked, they stand up and the other girls are like, oh, okay. Now it’s time for whipped cream delight, and they just pull out these aerosol whipped cream things and start shooting it all over their bodies. Again, now why would this be in a movie? I get it.   That would be something that a 13, 14 year old boy would appreciate seeing. But would this ever happen? Like it doesn’t it just doesn’t make any sense. And so then of course they have to send them upstairs to shower off where both girls go up into the bathroom together and are both completely nude. One of them is just standing in front of a mirror like fretting over her hair. The other one’s just like hosing herself down with one of those handheld shower wands. 

Todd:  She’s hosing herself down for 2 or 3 times as long as they were paddling. It’s probably a good 15 minutes. She’s getting really clean. 

Craig:  Yeah. Really clean. And like she’s all suds up and like she’ll she’ll spray herself down a little bit, and then it’ll cut away and you’ll come back, and she’s all sudsed up again. She’s she’s bathing really, really thoroughly. I guess her mom taught her well. 

Clip:  Yeah. 

Craig:  But but eventually, the guys, you know, they show up outside the door, and that’s kinda what leads to the impetus for the the plot, if you wanna call 

Todd:  it that. It’s the classic 3 heads on top of each other in the doorways appearing in on these girls. But then, they one of the sisters, it must be oh, it’s probably Babs who comes upstairs behind them, pushes them from behind. They all fall into the room, so they’re caught. And so we realized pretty quickly that Babs, Rhonda, and Frankie must be the only 3 girls in the sorority at all because they’re the only 3 that we see, except for some hooded figures that it seems like earlier on, there’s some hooded figures that walk into the room and just, like, walk right through it and out. Yeah. But anyway, yep. So the 3 of them meet and have a powwow with the other 5.   So Jimmy, Keith, and Calvin are in there, Elise and Taffy are in there, and Babs decides, okay. Here’s where she comes up with their final task. It’s not only to get the sisters initiated, but it’s to punish the guys coming in the house. And the 5 of them are required to break into the local bowling alley and steal a bowling trophy and bring it back. And if they do this, then Lisa and Taffy will be initiated into the sorority, and I guess the guys will get their penance for breaking into the sorority house. Why 

Craig:  Right. Right? 

Todd:  It’s so silly. Like, why these guys feel like they would have to do anything these girls tell them to do makes no sense. But in any case, that’s where they go. And as they’re leaving, the sisters, the Babs, Rhonda, and Frankie, kind of turn to each other and have a little chatter, more inane chatter. 

Craig:  You’ve got more plan than you’re letting on, man. I can see it all over your face. Honey, did you forget? Daddy owns them all. 

Clip:  That’s right. 

Craig:  We get it so easily. We’ll watch our victims on the security cameras. Oh, yeah. And when they’re not ready for it, we’ll scare it’ll scare the shit out of them. Babs are absolutely evil.   I think they’re gonna be watching them and they’re gonna try to mess with them and and, like, try to keep them from getting the trophy or something, which never plays out. They never do anything. They just watch. And and it’s also really funny because she’s like, Don’t forget, my dad owns the mall. So apparently what that means is if her dad owns the mall, that she can just, she has a key, I guess, and she can just kind of go in and gallivant throughout the mall, throughout the night. I guess if your dad owns the mall, that’s what you get to do. And and you know the ins and outs of the security system, so you can get up into the control room and watch your friends mumble around the mall. Oh, it’s so goofy, but, you know, it’s not even I’m not even being critical because it’s clear that this this is what they were going for.   They were making a a goofy movie. So to try to make logical connections and and rationales for why these things are happening, there’s there’s no point. You just go with it. 

Todd:  Oh, yeah. And and you know what? I kinda like it. Like, I love the movies that take place in malls. I just have a soft spot in my heart for that. Even if it’s dark and it’s it’s, you know, empty. I think it’s kind of a fun setting for this movie that the bowling alley, I guess, is part of this mall or is attached to this mall. And as I said, it was filmed in a real mall like the Plaza Camino or something in Los Angeles, and and that’s just kind of a fun setting. So they get to the mall, and they have no trouble at all breaking into this bowling alley because Calvin, who I guess we’re supposed to believe, is still drunk from the one beer that he had. 

Craig:  From that one beer. Right. 

Todd:  You know, as they’re all looking for the line to the security system because Keith suggests he can break in and he could cut the line to the burglar alarm, Calvin just leans on the door and falls backwards as he pulls the handle, and it just opens. And then they walk in the door to this bowling alley, and it’s dark, and they just kinda stand there and talk for a little while. And then we see that the girls haven’t the other girls have indeed gotten into the mall and gone to the security, area and are watching on a few screens. And then we get a great scene, and I thought this was maybe one of the best little running gags in the whole film was our janitor. At least you think he’s a janitor because he’s in the janitor’s closet. He’s he’s actually ends up being the guy who runs the bowling alley or at least has been the night watchman for forever. I don’t even know. I don’t Right.   Know if a bowling alley really needs a night watchman, but I just like to think maybe this guy owns the bowling alley. Anyway, that is our good buddy, George Buck Flowers. Yep. Again, really recognizable, especially from the fifties sixties, and not just horror films, but a lot of these low budget movies and films. Just kind of a charming guy who always basically plays the same dude. 

Craig:  He’s got a really distinctive voice, like this kinda raspy voice, and, just a really recognizable face. And, yeah, he does. He pops up in these low budget things all the time, but you see him pop up in big budget stuff too. I mean, he was in Back to the Future. He was in, oh gosh. We watched it. They Live. Is that the one? He had a pretty big part in They Live, I think. 

Todd:  He did. 

Craig:  But anyway, you’d recognize him. 

Todd:  We also saw him in that, train movie with David Copperfield. Isn’t that right? Wasn’t he like the one of the guys? 

Craig:  Yeah. TerraTrain? 

Todd:  Yeah. TerraTrain. 

Clip:  Maybe he was. 

Todd:  Maybe he was. Mhmm. And he’s coming out of the closet just at this time when the guys are coming through, the guys and the girls, and it’s this great shot down the hallway as you see him, you know, the closet door is somewhat ajarred. He’s coming out as they’re coming down the hallway, they’re backing up against the hall because it’s kinda small, and they end up closing the door on him as they’re talking, and he ends up locked in the in the closet. It’s funny because the movie keeps cutting back to him just to sort of remind us, oh, remember this guy’s still locked in the closet. This will be significant later. There there’s at least 1 or 2 more times when he tries to come out of the closet where, again, somebody not even noticing that he’s there ends up closing the door. I I thought that was hilarious. 

Craig:  It is it is funny, and part of it’s funny, and it it’s it’s so stupid. I mean, that’s what makes it funny, but they just they just give him these little one liners. 

Clip:  Fuck. It’s stuck tighter than the man’s cock. 

Craig:  Like, just just stupid. I I he just rolls them off throughout the movie. And then there’s also later on when he finally gets out of the closet and he starts interacting, I’m sure we’ll talk about it when we get to the scene, but there’s also a big gag about how he can’t hear well. So everything that they say to him, he misinterprets and things they say. He’s funny. I would say he’s probably my my favorite part of the movie. Yeah. That and the imp.   That and the imp that we’re getting to in a second. Because because what happens Well, I guess first we have to say Calvin is is looking around and he bumps into he he comes upon this girl who is apparently robbing the bowling alley and and this girl’s name is spider again another one of our favorites, played by lanai quigley who was really just kind of a a horror queen, in the eighties. Lots of low budget stuff. We’ve seen her in several movies and talked about her before. And, she’s funny. She’s really she she plays the antithesis of these other girls. She’s a tough street girl, who doesn’t take any bull, and, you know, she thinks that these, college kids are just kinda pathetic losers. But it’s funny because she, Spider, and Calvin kind of hit it off right from the beginning, and you can tell right from the beginning that he’s kind of smitten with her.   And it doesn’t take very long, even though they’re so different, you can tell it doesn’t take very long before she’s kind of smitten with him too. And they kind of become a duo throughout, the rest of the movie. 

Todd:  I like that she has a crowbar. And when we first see her, she’s using the crowbar to try to break into the cash register. And then a little later on, she uses the crowbar to open up the the chained gate where the bowling trophies are. And then later on, we see her, and she’s using a crowbar to try to break into, like, a pinball machine. I guess she wants to get quarters out of it. Like, this woman just runs around using a crowbar on everything. It’s hilarious. 

Craig:  It is funny. Okay. So I knew. I I read the synopsis of what this movie was gonna be. And so I knew that what was gonna happen, it was basically gonna kinda be a genie in a lamp kinda situation, mixed kind of with, the monkey’s paw kinda deal. So I had read that they were eventually gonna break this trophy, which they pretty much do as soon as they get it. And out of this trophy is going to pop this imp. And, the premise is this imp pops out, and he tells them that he will grant them all one wish, whatever they want.   So the plot moves forward from there and it’s funny and and what turns out, you know, Calvin and maybe somebody at maybe Spider 2 are reluctant. They’re like, you know, I think Calvin even says   Wait a minute, Jimmy. 

Todd:  What for? What have I got to lose? You don’t 

Craig:  know what you’re dealing with. I mean, maybe the wishes come true and then go bad on you. I don’t know. I hear that’s happened sometimes. 

Todd:  Like, oh, 

Craig:  yeah. That happens all the time. 

Todd:  Need to 

Craig:  be observant. But that is in fact what happens. But what was so funny to me was this imp pops out, and it’s just like a rubber hand puppet. Like, it’s just the cheapest looking thing. And and you only ever see like, it never moves. I mean, like, its mouth kinda moves when it talks and stuff, but it seems like they just framed it so that you can’t even really see the bottom of it. I imagine there was somebody just below frame with their hand up in this puppet. I mean, that’s what it looks like.   But I just started cracking up as soon as it started talking because it’s a freaking jive in. 

Todd:  Well, well, well. How do you do boys and girls? Oh, your little faces are just so full of surprise. 

Clip:  Well, I’m just as happy   to be here as you are. 

Craig:  That’s right. Like, it talks like like Shaft or like it it reminded me mostly of like Donkey from Shrek, is is how this thing talks. And and oh my Todd, it’s just so funny. And it I I guess I had read that in some of the early trailers, they had used a really high pitched voice for it. And I don’t know what changed. But by the time the movie came out, they had switched it to this, like, jive talking thing. And, oh my god, it is just hilarious. 

Todd:  I was, you know, I was thinking they were deliberately trying to channel the plant from the Little Shop of Horrors, the, 

Craig:  the Yeah. Yeah. That works too. 

Todd:  Must have come out around the same time. Right? It was 88 or 89 or 87 when that movie 

Clip:  came out. 

Craig:  Sounds about right. 

Todd:  But I love that I don’t know if you looked at the, at the credits for the imp. The imp is played by a man named Dookie Flyswatter, which is That’s great. Kuki flies water, which is, obviously, a name, for a guy named Michael Sonnier, who has been in a lot of these, goofy goofy horror movies like Surf Nazi Must Die in this one. I guess he decided that this film was too beneath him for him to give his actual name. I have no idea. I don’t 

Craig:  know, but it’s hilarious. And as soon as he pops out, he’s like, I’ll grant 

Todd:  you any wish you want. What you want? I’ll grant you anything you want. 

Craig:  And, so so, you know, Calvin warns them or whatever, but, Jimmy, the heavy guy, was like, whatever. I’m making a wish. And so he wishes for gold and this big pile of well, it’s not even a big pile. A little tiny pile of gold, appears behind him. And he see and it’s, like, you know, lit with this heavenly light, and there’s, like, smoke around it. It. He starts going back to it and he’s like, I mean these are throwaway lines. It’s not like these are significant lines.   But as he’s going back, he’s like all excited and he’s like, Oh, I’m going   to be rich. I’m gonna get my   nails done and my hair. What? This is this tubby guy with, like, a crew cut. He’s like, I’m a get my nails done and my hair. 

Todd:  I know. 

Clip:  And then 

Craig:  he then he starts talking about all the cars he’s gonna buy and whatnot, but I was like, what just happened? 

Todd:  I know. That was so weird. 

Craig:  And he 

Clip:  just Oh, man. 

Todd:  He just sits and just starts playing with the gold. It’s it’s pretty funny. Maybe we’re supposed to believe that he’s under a spell as well when he goes and sees 

Craig:  I guess. 

Todd:  Then the other girl, like, these are the these are the worst wishes. Well well, the one guy, I think it’s Calvin or Keith. It’s Keith. Keith, the amp says, what do you want? Keith’s like, oh, I don’t really know, and he pulls him forward. And he he says something really, really raunchy. He says, like 

Craig:  Raunchy. 

Clip:  Yeah. 

Todd:  Bet I bet you’d like to bang that bitch there in the sweater or whatever. And he’s like, yeah. Yeah. I really would. And so Lisa immediately springs into seductress mode and comes towards him and pulls him away. This is another really goofy and silly part of this movie. As soon as she pulls him away, she takes him into I guess it’s the locker room of the bowling alley. Right.   I didn’t know bowling alleys had locker rooms, but this must be a really, really serious bowling alley. Right. Right. These guys, man, they sweat when they bowl, and they can’t leave. They’ve gotta clean up and go back out and bowl some more. She, she gets on top of him and we get it basically keeps cutting back to the 2 of them. I guess the idea here is that she suddenly becomes too much for him to handle. This boy who’s nerdy, who’s never had a girl before.   Most guys, I think, in this situation would be pretty thrilled by this, but this this guy is all he does is sit there and say, wait a minute. Hold on there. We’ve got to talk. Just a minute. Stop. Wait. We’ve got to talk. While she’s while she’s straddling him and taking his clothes off and taking her clothes off.   And it keeps cutting back to the scene just whenever we need a break from the main action. 

Craig:  She’s in like, I don’t even know, like, panties and, like, a bustier and, like, a garter belt and stockings. Like, she’s all sexed out. Like, the Wish, like, made her this big sex pot. And this scene is really funny but it kinda goes on for a long time. Like you said it keeps cutting back and forth. He’s just on his back like the whole time And, he’s not being handsy with her or anything, but she is all over him. And I was and like eventually, she takes her top off and and she’s, of course, got these great big huge boobs and, like, she grabs his hands and puts them puts them on her boobs. It’s like he’s feeling her boobs and stuff.   Throughout all of this, I mean she is straddling. I mean she they are crotch to crotch and she’s writhing around and, eventually she goes to try to pull his pants off and, he’s kinda, what it seemed like to me was like she was between his legs and he was trying to keep his legs spread so that she couldn’t get the pants off. And, and you know, he’s objecting, it actually, the tone felt, I have a feeling in the eighties it wouldn’t have fazed anybody at all. But it, with our sensibilities today, it, it got a little bit uncomfortable because he was saying things like   No. I I think you’re doing this because of some sort of spell. Like, I don’t think you would be doing this under normal circumstances. Does that matter? I I yes. It does. It does. It matters. It matters to me.   And I think it would matter to you.   You know, really, he’s kind of trying to be the gentleman. But the whole time, I was thinking kudos to this actor because despite my own preferences, if there were a gorgeous naked woman writhing around all over me, That would be a And like at some point she’s got her hands on his crotch and she’s like licking and biting his thighs. I’m like, man, he he must have taken several cold showers either before or directly after the scene. 

Todd:  That is a very good point. And and this is this is Michelle Bauer, who is another person you’d recognize from a lot of low budget films, and she’s a very pretty woman. You know, you’re right. It is is almost a little rapey in a way, kind of different from the way we normally see, you know, guys taking advantage of girls. But but the thing is is he asked for this, and it’s clearly Yeah. You know, he asked for this. It’s clearly what he wanted, and it’s clearly the result of the imp’s spell. So I thought that that line where he says, I think you’re doing this because of some kind of spell.   I don’t think you’d be doing this under normal circumstances was, well, duh, but also why is this scene going on forever? Right. You 

Craig:  know? It was going for a really long time and kinda pointlessly because eventually, he gets away from her and he makes some lame excuse, like, he wants to go get water. And she’s like, wait a minute. Water? And he’s like, I mean ice. Have you ever done the ice trick?   And she’s like, no. What’s that?   And he goes off to get ice in my mind. I’m, like, trying to think, 

Todd:  what’s the ice drink? Doctor. 

Clip:  What’s the 

Todd:  ice drink? That sounds interesting. 

Craig:  Doctor. But eventually they just split split off and they both end up getting killed. And and that’s kind of what this the I read on Wikipedia, you know, the epitome of all online sources, I read that this was loosely based on the monkey’s paw. The only way that I can see this being based on the monkey’s paw is that in the monkey’s paw, people are offered wishes and they get their wishes, but it’s some sort of twisted version of it. You know, it’s not what they really wanted. It’s the same kind of premise as, like, the Wishmaster series. 

Todd:  Yeah. But this is a super lame version of the monkey’s paw where we didn’t even try to be clever because the first guy’s wish was Todd. This guy’s wish was the girl. And, the the other girl, Taffy, was it Taffy, her wish? 

Craig:  Yes. 

Todd:  Was, she leans in and he says, I’ll give you even 2 wishes. I’ll give you one now and one later. She’s like, really? Yeah. And her wish is, I always wanted to be the queen of the prom. 

Craig:  Wow. So so so he just he just, so I guess the imp, like, he he, like, I don’t know, apparates her, like, 8 feet back in the room so that she can be in the same spot like the gold was. And then she’s just in this cheap looking tacky prom dress, like, spinning around, like, oh, my greatest dream is true.   Like, wow, girl. You need to dream bigger. 

Todd:  I know. Did your prom happen in a dark bowling alley 

Craig:  too? Oh, gosh. And the plot just kinda rolls from here. The only other thing that I think is is worth specifically pointing out is that at first, the 3 sisters are watching all of this from the control room. And one of them says, Oh my gosh, they’re getting wishes. We’ve got to get down there. And then it cuts back to the imp, and the imp says something like, It’s naughty to watch, or something like that. And like all 3 girls get like struck with this illustrated lightning and, Babs gets blown back in her chair against the wall. And the other 2 get transformed into, they call them demons later.   The only I would call them maybe minions or something. One of them kinda looks like, ends up looking like the bride of Frankenstein. And I don’t even know what the other one’s supposed to look like. She’s just got kind of a messed up kinda like zombie face. 

Todd:  Was she the one who was obsessing about her looks earlier? Because there’s a quick little inserted scene, which I think is of that girl. She’s trying to put cream on her face. It’s so clunky. It it it doesn’t it hardly makes a lot of sense. 

Craig:  Well, I guess the gold turns into cardboard or wood or something, and the the prom dress gets all ratty, so they realize that, things are going bad. And then from here, it’s just kind of a really clunky series of events where the minions are chasing people around and killing people. Like, I think the first one they kill is they they get, Jimmy, the overweight guy. And I I think I couldn’t really tell what they were doing. I think they put his head in that machine that buffs the bowling balls. 

Todd:  Yeah. I think that’s what it was. Yeah. 

Craig:  And and so then his he comes out and his face is kind of messed up and, eventually they they they chop his head off and they bowl with it down the bowling lane and uncle Impey is like, you know, just making kind of offhanded comedy remarks throughout watching all of this happen. And and basically what it is is these 2 minions chasing down the rest of the people and and catching them in odd situations and killing them. Keith goes to find the ice for the ice trick. He’s like in a kitchen and one of the minions shows up and dumps his face in the Is it the fryer? 

Clip:  In the 

Craig:  fryer, like fryer. Right? 

Todd:  When they leave the snack bar at the bowling alley at night, they really should turn off the fryer. 

Craig:  Yeah. That would I I would advise it. Yeah. The other thing that was clunky was, like, things would happen to people, and I would think they were dead, and then they would come back. And I’d be like Yeah. Wait. What’s dead? Like, like, Babs, after the minions take off, she runs just to try to get out. And, like, Spider and Calvin see her, and they’re, like, following her because they wanna get out too.   And she gets to the front doors and she, like, touches the front doors and they electrocute her and she falls over and it looks like she’s dead. And I thought she was dead. I wrote it down. Okay. She’s dead. And then then later she’s back. And I feel like that happened more than once. I don’t know.   Maybe it was just because I was getting people mixed up and I wasn’t really certain who was who. It’s just, it’s a series then of these goofy scenes where people are, you know, oh, the tough one, Spider, you know, proves herself to be tough several times by fighting with these minions and kind of protecting Calvin and, like, so they’ll fight with them for a little while and then they’ll run off and then and they’ll run off and they’ll like find a place to sit and have a sweet little flirty conversation for 10 minutes. Yeah. And then another minion will show up, and they’ll fight, and then they’ll run off and hide and have a little flirty conversation for a little while. Like, it’s it’s it’s really goofy. 

Todd:  Luckily, they get a lot of rest. They’re the ones who need it the most because they seem to be seeing the most action. That’s where they’re developing the relationship. It’s so clunky because it’s exactly as you say. They fight some minions, and they go and they they sit down and they can chat for a while, and then they fight, and then they can sit down and chat for a while. My favorite scene, though is when they’re being attacked and they’re backed into a closet. And, Calvin is behind her, and she’s like, don’t don’t just stand there. Look for something.   And so he he looks around he looks around it on the shelving and he grabs a broom and he shoves it at her and she goes, what are we gonna do clean it to death? She throws it away, find something else. And he goes and he finds a gun on the shelf. And he adds it to her and she goes, 

Craig:  And she shoots it. 

Todd:  Oh, God. Yeah. I appreciate that acknowledgement. Like in any other movie, like, they may not even call attention to how ridiculous this is, but at least they did hear. 

Craig:  Yeah. Oh, god. It   it’s it’s it’s so, I mean, it’s clearly set up as a gag and so many of the things are like the minions eventually both find taffy and the way   that the joke is so freaking stupid   that I almost missed it. But one of them gets up, they knock her down or something, and then one of them picks her up by under her arms, and the other one picks her up by her legs, And one of them says, Pull. And they start pulling on her, and that’s how they kill her. So they pulled Taffy. 

Clip:  Yeah. 

Craig:  So freaking stupid, but hilarious at the same time. And that’s the point after she dies when Babs shows back up and she runs into the imp, who then proceeds to tell her his whole backstory.   Who are you? Why are you doing this? What did you do with Ronda and Frankie? 

Clip:  Please, so many questions. Let’s take them 1 at a time. I’m an heir, one of the minor elves to be sure, but not without certain powers and magical capabilities. As you have seen, Wanda and Frankie have been made over into demons of a sort. 

Craig:  Oh, man. 

Todd:  Everybody in this movie is kind of wandering around without a discernible plan. It’s like you said, they’re just kinda wandering around and somebody get bumps into one of these demons or whatever, and they have to have a fight and run away. But, there’s really no organization to it. It’s all just a jumble of scenes. But, eventually, they do run into our janitor guy. Does he even ever have a name? Yep. I’m not even 

Craig:  I don’t think so. 

Todd:  Mister Buck, who sits down and has that conversation with them that you were talking about earlier. 

Craig:  It was initiation. We had to help these 2 girls get into a sorority. To get in, they had to steal a bowling trophy. 

Clip:  A what? Steal a bowling trophy? 

Craig:  A bowling 

Clip:  trophy. What bowling trophy? 

Craig:  It was a large one opened up. 

Clip:  You didn’t open it up though, did you? 

Craig:  Well, I didn’t. No. But, yeah. Yeah. It it got opened. 

Clip:  My god. My god. My god. My god. You know what you done? 

Craig:  You done let the imp out.   God. And then you’re right. You know, just not even probably 5 minutes after we had the imp tell the story. Now we get the janitor telling the story Todd it. This is where there’s all those, oh, I can’t hear you gags, which I actually thought were pretty funny. I don’t know if I would’ve thought it was so funny being delivered by another actor, but this guy, he he he he is good delivery. 

Clip:  Everybody who’d ever ever made fun of or laughed at old Dave, I mean, even just a little bit, They started turning up dead, and I mean awful dead. All ripped apart. It was terrible things to see. 

Craig:  Enough, Todd. 

Clip:  Yeah. Yeah. You’re right. They did call the cops. And the cops figured Todd Dave done it and they took him away. Poor fella. He died that very year in the gas chamber just 2 days before Christmas. 

Craig:  Sounds like an awful mess. 

Clip:  No. No. He never did confess. No, sir. Right up till the very end, he said he’d never done it. 

Todd:  Yeah. It’s it’s pretty juvenile kind of humor. Like, we’re not talking Adam Sandler juvenile humor. We’re talking about, like, 6th grader juvenile humor. 

Craig:  But Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 

Todd:  It kinda works coming out of his mouth and in this movie. At least it breaks up a little bit of the boring monotony of the horror horrible other lines that we get. But, again, that’s part of the charm of this film is it’s so much fun to make fun of. And you can tell, like the director said, you know, he just wants to make movies that people enjoy. And I I really feel like he kinda hit it with this one as well. 

Craig:  And there was a demand for these type of movies in the eighties. I mean, they were all over the place. Like you said, you could, you know, you could pick them up off the video store shelves. You could find them on late night TV, and and people watched it. So, you know, it’s not like this is some out there movie. I mean, it’s very typical of these types of of movies. And as far as these types of movies go, it’s really probably one of the better ones. 

Todd:  Oh, yeah. I mean, Jim Winojovsky, he’s the guy. I was trying to remember his name earlier. You know? He makes these kinda movies too. I I feel like he’s at a different level, maybe a little higher caliber with it, but Mhmm. Shoot. I’ve said it before, like, sorority house massacre 2, one of my favorite movies, and this is why. You know, this is why it’s one of my favorite movies is because of this, because it’s so much fun to just sit down and and goof on.   Right. So Babs ends up going after Lisa, with a paddle. 

Craig:  Yeah. Yeah. Because because the, because the imp turned her into one of the minions too, and she’s like this sexy dominatrix minion. And that cracked me up. I mean, we don’t really get to see it, but, obviously, it’s a callback to the beginning where she had the paddle. But now she’s got this, like, giant paddle, and she starts chasing we just kinda see her chase Lisa with it, and that’s it. And then later, Calvin walks into one of the scenes where he and Spider just around. He’s like, oh, I found Lisa.   And she’s like, she did? He’s like, yep. 

Todd:  That’s so true. 

Craig:  Oh, man. 

Todd:  Babs shows up. What did she get into the alcohol or something? And I don’t even know where this idea came from, but it just kind of came in out of nowhere that they think that they can destroy him with molot the imp with molotov cocktails. Was the idea they can burn him or something? Just a new thought? 

Craig:  Yeah. I think so. 

Todd:  They make a couple of molotov cocktails, and that’s when Babs shows up. And there’s a bit of a fight between her and spider. And as spider breaks away, quickly Calvin gets the wherewithal to light one of these cocktails and toss it at Babs, and she burns up. And it’s another one of those flaming dancing people, shots. And then again, they sit down. Well, alright. Well, we took care of that one. And they chat for a little more. 

Craig:  It was hard to keep track of, but at this point, there’s only one minion left and it’s the bride of Frankenstein 1. And she kills the janitor. Again, we don’t see it. We just, I in fact, I think Calvin and Babs, like, opened the door to the janitor’s closet, and the minion is just standing there over the janitor who’s, like, sitting in a chair, just, like, frozen, and this this minion is just like holding this big knife up above his head. Like like they’ve been standing there waiting for people to walk in and see them before they played the seed out. 

Clip:  That’s right. 

Craig:  And and so bride of Frankenstein minion chases them out. 

Todd:  And she ends up getting an ax somewhere. 

Craig:  Yeah. Yeah. Spider axes her head off. 

Todd:  Now, you know, where did the music go at this point? Like, this is a movie where it’s, like, scored under absolutely everything. You feel like if it’s not scored, you don’t know what’s supposed to be scary and what’s not. But at this point, like, the music just completely cut out. And I thought that was an interesting choice. And I thought, well, did they just run out of money at this point? Yeah. But did did you notice that? 

Craig:  I didn’t. 

Todd:  And I think earlier somebody had suggested I think it was the janitor guy had said something about they they had they when they were having their meeting with him, Spider and Calvin were like, well, how are we gonna fight this guy? And Jaren is like, well, I don’t know, but I have heard something what something told one time about using magic against itself. When Calvin ends up chopping this last minion’s head off, it the the severed head flies through the air and hits the doors to the bowling alley, which spring open in kind of another one of those electrical spark type deals. And he says, oh, use magic against itself to explain that. 

Craig:  Yeah. It’s so clunky. At this point, I was looking at my watch thinking, I know this movie’s almost over. Like, I really just felt like they were, like, they were like, okay. Let’s wrap it up. Let’s go wrap   it up. 

Todd:  Bring this to a close. Alright. Alright, guys. Bring it in. Bring it in. Yep. And so he runs out the door, and for some reason, Spider doesn’t. What keeps her back there? Is it the imp? I don’t I 

Craig:  I don’t remember. It’s weird because she just says go get the car. Like, why wouldn’t she just go with them? Like, why would she wait? You know? Like, it doesn’t make any sense. But I guess the reason is because I was wrong before. I said there was only 1 minion left. There’s still one more. He gets in the car and minion Rhonda jumps up from the back seat. And the imp is, like, outside the mall now just watching all this 

Todd:  Sitting at the doorway. 

Craig:  Even says something like, ah, demon in the backseat. Classic. Oh, gosh. 

Todd:  Yep. And so, spider comes up from behind him with some canister or something that she’s found, and she puts it over him. And we heard earlier something about how the imp, can be contained in a small space. And so she just very quickly and easily, this amp who’s kind of omnipresent and seems to be able to see everything from his single perch, you know, in front of the arcade machine, couldn’t see. Was so distracted by watching the car wreck, that, he didn’t notice her come up from behind and put the lid over him. So she puts it over him, so he’s incapacitated. At that point, I think the demon basically loses its power or dies. 

Craig:  Yeah. Yeah. 

Todd:  Not before we get the amazing stunt scene of the car flying through the air 

Craig:  The car flip. Right? 

Todd:  And flips and and lands. Now I felt like this car had to be going, like, miles down the highway by this point. But apparently, it was just in the parking lot or something because immediately, spider runs right out and, pulls him out of the car and then and then we get the music again. The music is finally there, and it’s this sweet kind of we’re wrapping it up music between between these 2. And then the next shot is it’s it’s it’s the break of dawn, and Spider is getting on her motorcycle. She takes the glasses off of our handsome hunk, Calvin. They get on the motorcycle and they drive off. And it’s funny because the dialogue here is like 

Craig:  It’s finally over. Come on Calvin, we gotta go. What? Someone must have heard this, and the cops will be on their way. Who cares? You wanna explain 8 mutilated bodies laying around? The imp did it. Yeah. Right. You wanna open the can and prove it? 

Todd:  He gets on the back and they take off, and they just leave the imp right there by the side 

Craig:  of the On the corner.   On the corner. It’s it’s so stupid. And, like, you can hear the imp talking inside. He’s like, hey. Hey.   Let me out. Let me out. And he’s like, hey. You in the front row, you want some wishes? Like,   it’s it’s corny, but, you know, I I I almost appreciate the fact that it ended on that really corny note because the whole thing is just such a, you know, it’s it’s it’s cheese out of a can. I mean, it 

Todd:  Oh, yeah. 

Craig:  And it’s laid on thick. But it is exactly what you would expect it to be, With the title the way that it is, I would think that you wouldn’t rent this movie expecting it to be something else. And if you rented this movie with the expectations that I would think that you would have going in, I think that you’re gonna get exactly what you wanted. I mean, it’s low brow, it’s cheesy, it’s goofy, you get some boobs, you get some semi creative kills that are kinda funny like with the head being used as the bowling ball and stuff. And I don’t know, It’s certainly, you know, not my favorite type of movie. But every once in a while, you know, there’s there’s an occasion where this is the appropriate thing, where you just want to sit down and goof on something with your friends, get shit faced drunk. Don’t just have a beer for this one. Just go all the way for this one.   And, you don’t have to pay any attention to it. The plot doesn’t even really make any kind of logical sense. Like the sequencing doesn’t even really seem to match up very well, but it doesn’t matter. You check-in every few minutes, something goofy happens, you get a good one liner, you see some boobs and you move on. So, you know, for what it is for what it is, I I appreciate it. 

Todd:  I think you’re about right. This is kind of in the same league as Chopping Mall, sorority house massacre 2, those kind of films. They’d show up on cable. In fact, it almost feels like it was made for cable because it is not really gory. Even the stuff we’ve described of the heads getting chopped off and rolled around. There’s just really very little blood. There’s I don’t there’s really no blood spurting and the most of the violence happens in the dark, and even the aftermath is not convincingly, you know, gross. I almost feel like I don’t know if it was just the budget was too low for that kind of thing.   Maybe they poured all the money they had into that impuppet. You know? But, yeah, it feels like it was made for cable market. It’s it’s even light on all of that stuff as well. So, you know, it it could probably appeal to a wider audience and get a little more play that way. I’m with you, and I I can see that that’s probably why that this movie stuck with me for so long. It’s just it’s just kinda 

Craig:  fun. Sure. 

Todd:  Alright. Well, thank you again for listening to another episode. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, and Google Play. You can also find us on Facebook where we have a page. Let us know what you thought there. Like us. Tell us what you think of this movie, and, of course, recommend any other films that you’d like us to do.   Until next time, I’m Todd. 

Craig:  And I’m Craig. 

Todd:  With 2 guys and a Chainsaw.