Witching and Bitching

Witching and Bitching

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What begins as a heist film quickly descends into hilarious chaos as a group of wanna-be criminals run afoul of a coven of witches at the most inopportune time.

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Witching and Bitching (2013)

Episode 7, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw

welcome to another edition of two guys and a chainsaw. I’m Todd. I’m Craig. And today we watched witching and bitching. This was a Spanish film. Craig, you recommended it today. You had seen it before. I hadn’t seen it at all. Did you stumble across this? I don’t remember. I think that I had read about it on a finger area or, or something.

Uh, and then as soon as it popped up on Netflix, the, uh, cover image. Is a pretty eye catching, but I put off watching it for a while just because it’s subtitled it often when I, you know, put on these Netflix movies, I’m kind of doing other things, but this one, you know, requires your full attention unless you’re fluent in Spanish.

Um, so when I finally got around to it, I, uh, Was was really pleasantly surprised. It is an eye-catching title. It’s got that a woman on the front end. Uh, I hadn’t heard of it ever before. Um, it’s what, a two year old film, I think that it started, uh, circulating around 2013 and it did some festivals. It was one of the midnight selections at the Toronto film festival and it ended up actually winning an award, uh, there.

And then I think it still kinda went around festivals for awhile before it got kind of a wide video distribution here in the States. Well, I got to say it was crazy film. Yeah. It just, I mean, fun though. These are the kinds of films that sometimes only a foreign film will go this far. You know, I was actually thinking of that.

A Norwegian film about the evil Santa Claus. W what was that one at St uh, St. Nick? Was that what it was? Yeah, it was saying, I think it was actually St. Nick in English, obviously in Norwegian, it was something different. Right. It had a similar feel to it in that it was kind of crazy, kind of mad cap. Uh, really well, um, filmed, well lit I mean, great makeup, great acting like everything about it, but it just went all over the place and it was unabashedly sort of in a zaniness.

Yeah, absolutely. And that’s what I liked about it. It’s crazy. And it’s. You know, we’ve watched so many horror movies together. The both of us individually have seen so many, it’s kind of rare that you find something that stands out as being truly unique. I mean, of course, which is, you know, that’s, that’s not anything new, but, uh, this takes just a really fun, interesting spin on it.

And it goes lots of places. It’s almost a full two hours, but it doesn’t feel like it’s. Fast paced. There’s always stuff going on. Like you said, uh, the production value is great. I have no idea what the budget for this was, but it seemed like it must’ve been pretty big. It had to be huge. I think the locations were great.

Um, the, the actors and the, the scenery, uh, and some of it had to be, I mean, we’re talking countryside, we’re talking large caves, um, clearly stuff that probably wasn’t as well. I don’t know. I can’t assume that it wasn’t built in sound studio, but like the cave scene at the end. Right. Insane. I’m looking at all those steps and I’m thinking somebody had to build those that has to be some kind of landmark or something that they were allowed to film it or something, because it’s just such, you know, so large in scope and it looked real, it didn’t look like a set.

Um, so I w and, and like you said, there’s. Uh, a big kind of spooky mansion that seems to go on forever. I mean, there’s just these huge, amazing set pieces. The lighting is cool, all kinds of different tones of warm and cold. And we paused at one point to take a potty break. And, uh, just the image on the screen was, was a really.

Cool image to see. I, you know, even pause. I mean, the, the cinematography is, is really strong. Yeah. This is the kind of, um, film where it does, it feels like you could take any frame from it and it’s just beautifully composed. Oh yeah. You can hang it on your wall. Like, it’s a really cool picture. The movie started out in an, in a familiar place for me because a couple of years ago I actually got to go to Spain and we went to Madrid and, uh, there’s a very famous statue in a particular Plaza toward the center of Madrid and it’s of a bear.

Eating strawberries from, uh, a strawberry Bush. I don’t know. It was it’s interesting. And it starts out right there and then Plaza with a woman sort of talking about the end of the world and the apocalypse in front of this thing. Right, right. One of those doomsday preacher kind of ladies and yeah.

Meantime walking around her again, just totally brought back memories, all these different characters, sort of like. New York times square where people dress up as Mickey. Right. And the Las Vegas strip where you’ve got all those sad, like street performers, like drunk on the corner, you know, that’s right.

And you’re supposed to like pay the money to take picture with like this SpongeBob or something like this off brands. But yeah, it was, was it Plaza Del Sol? Is that, was that I believe so. Yes. Um, yeah. And, uh, you know, it’s this really crowded, uh, Plaza and the movie starts out kind of like a heist. Uh, film and it, you know, plays that really well.

I mean, it’s a good heist scene there in the beginning, as it turns out, you know, you’ve got, we don’t find this out immediately, of course, but you’ve got a Jesus street performer completely, you know, uh, spray painted, head to toe and silver. You’ve got a, the green plastic army man head to toe green, uh, SpongeBob square pants, Minnie mouse.

Uh, gosh, I don’t even remember. Several of an invisible man guy. And as it turns out, these are all guys who have conspired to Rob this store in this, uh, Plaza, because they all have financial problems stemming largely from their trouble with women. And so it’s this big heist. And the funny thing I was telling you earlier was that, uh, this, this whole Plaza is so crowded.

They, there was no way the in production, they could clear it. I mean, I imagine they had to get permits to shoot there, but the, the people, the bustling people you see around are just. Citizens and, and they kind of just filmed it, guerrilla style. I mean, that, that store, the store that they actually buy or, uh, Rob is a, an actual store that they just use the storefront and they asked permission to use the interior and, wow.

Um, so, uh, I can only imagine the technically that would have been a nightmare, but it came off so good. I mean, it’s really exciting. It’s like goofy from the beginning. It’s like, anytime you take all these characters, really, they just seem like characters that are robbing the store. It kind of sets the tone without a word being spoken.

Absolutely. I mean, there’s some really funny moments in there. Of course, Jesus is the one who’s holding up the gun only out of his crucifix and telling everybody to clear out. I’m blasting them away. And then of course they robbed this gold store and in the process of the police, uh, things don’t go well.

And the police kind of show up on the scene with guns and they end up shooting SpongeBob’s you see, SpongeBob is more advanced, like getting riddled with bullets. And then, and then as the other characters are running by, you see Patrick SpongeBob’s friend, like leaning over him. Just really funny and really it does, it sets it up from the beginning it’s it’s cartoon-like and it’s cartoon like throughout the rest of the film, but in a great way.

Yeah. Yes. And it doesn’t really let up. And sometimes those movies that don’t really let up are exhausting to watch. And somehow this one just had the right amount of pacing when I was listening. And after a while I realized, is there a second in this movie without music behind it? I don’t know that there’s a, there’s a lot of music.

Uh, and it’s good. It’s really atmospheric. I was thinking, you know, this, there are so many different scenes. I mean, it’s going to be difficult for us to do any kind of recap that will do it justice, because it just moves from one. Uh, scenes the next, but there’s, um, a big feast scene with the witches, uh, in, in this big spooky mansion.

And there’s a lot of cool atmospheric stuff going on there. And then at the end, where’s, there’s this big witches Sabbath in the cave that we were talking about. There’s this kind of primal, rhythmic music. Um, and it really sets the atmosphere and I was thinking, you know, this would be great. That’d be a great soundtrack to have you pop this in on Halloween night and just let it roll for your, for your trick-or-treaters without any of the, the, the dialogue or anything over it.

It would just, it would just roll. Yeah. Well, they, they ended up, um, one of the funnier parts I thought was this, uh, sort of comic relief. Of course, when they start out it, it’s got this witty banter back and forth. There it’s one of those movies where people are joking with each other, even in the midst. Of pure chaos and running from the cops and guns and things being done.

There’s a lot of back and forth, a lot of really fast talking about Woody banter about it, about, um, pedestrian type thing in the midst of all this chaos. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it seems to be really aware of what it is. Wanting to be, I mean, it’s as much a comedy as anything else. I mean, it’s laugh out loud, funny, and, and there’s jokes.

There’s just witty banter. Sometimes it’s just the juxtaposition of these kinds of mundane things that they’re talking about in these extreme circumstances. That just it’s so out of place, uh, that it’s just funny, that’s own when they hijack the taxi cab, which unbeknownst to them until, you know, they’re going down the road has a passenger in it as well.

And they’re going along. This passenger just keeps saying, I want to go to what where’s the place he wants to go, but no Haas, but no hos, something like that. So go to  that’s where he wants to go. And that keeps coming up through that bill to an almost comic extent, to the point where at the end of this poor guy, it’s so funny, you know, they, they, the guys who are, who hijack this store there.

Their getaway car doesn’t work out. So they hijack this a taxi cab and eventually, you know, the taxi cab driver kind of joins their little group, but this passenger guy just goes through all of this terrible beating. I mean, they, they strip him down, they tie him up, they put him in there. You’re tired of hearing a bitch, just put it in the truck and from the trunk he’s, you know, chef you mother.

You bastards. Uh, and then as soon as they open. Oh, thank you. Thank you, please. I’m so sorry. Let me out, let me just shut it down, shut it back down again. It’s hilarious. And then when, so they, you know, they’re trying to flee, they want to get to the border, uh, France, but on the way there, they, uh, have to cross through this village and I know I’m going to butcher this, uh, whereas it, as

Is that going to remove her D let’s just call it the village from now on the village, right? Yeah. And, uh, one, the cats, the taxi cab driver doesn’t want to go through there because he has read that this is, you know, like kind of the central locale for witchcraft in Europe and maybe even the world. And, uh, he’s heard all kinds of scary things.

And of course that sets it up as soon as they get there, it’s this creepy European village. Um, and, uh, they stopped to get something to eat and obviously the citizens, they are very shady. The woman behind the bar is very witchy looking. Um, they, they run into all kinds of strange stuff in here. And then it’s just total mad cat from then on.

I mean, they, they, they are, they end up somehow going to this big mansion, uh, where the central, which family lives. And like I said, that set pieces is awesome. And then it’s just, it’s kind of a cat and mouse kind of a. I don’t even know how to explain it. You know, just this chase through a haunted house for the next 45 minutes or so.

It really is. And on their way there, they bond over their mutual trouble with women basically. And that really sets up. One of the themes of the film is when they’re going and the taxi driver is sort of like, you know what? I kind of respect you guys. Cause you’re kind of doing what you want to do. And, and, and they’re talking about, he sees the problem between the son and I believe his name was Sergio.

Yeah, we forgot to mention that, Oh, that’s a big deal. The main guy, the Jesus guy has his son with him on this heist, which obviously, you know, seems very much out of place, but he explained to us because he only has joint custody and he’s not going to miss his day, even if it’s this day and the whole thing.

Every man in the movie bitches and complains about the problems with women. And then, so obviously the witches are kind of established as kind of a metaphor for women in general, which is, you know, a totally man kind of perspective on things. It’s funny. Well, it’s very, you know, it’s that macho, the Spain macho, it’s sort of like taking that and throwing it on its head.

It’s bringing some macho women into the mix. Saying, Oh, you have trouble with these women. Well, let’s get some women in here who really, you know, can do their stuff when they’re talking in the car and they finally could have drivers, like, you know what, consider me part of your gang, uh, because I’m darn it.

I’m gonna have trouble with my woman too and all this. And they talk about the rings that they stole from the. Gold plate. Yeah. It was like a, we buy gold place that they robbed and what they, their stash is this whole big duffel bag full of wedding rings, wedding rings. Yeah. And it’s a, again, part of that deal they’re saying, and somebody brings it up and says, well, these rings are sort of representative of all of these broken marriages, all of these broken relationships and promises not kept.

Isn’t that bad luck. Yeah, bad mojo. Right. And as it turns out, it is, the witches are actually able to draw from that power from all the misery, from these failed relationships and whatnot. So it’s just kind of a, a nice coincidence for the, the, which Kevin. Yeah. And so they go, they, they, they, they leave this in.

And try to drive through this town and ended up accidentally hitting one of the witches in the road. And then she sort of flies off. Right. And they don’t really see it happen. And so they continue and they meet hers, hers, um, daughter, daughter later down the road and tries to convince them to come out to this mansion.

And again, they were playing with this feminine, feminine thing, which was like, Oh, well, would you, would you let me come? It’s only so far. They’re like, no, no, we really need to go. They’re kind of creeped out by her too. Like, Oh no, I think we really need to go. And she’s like, okay, well that’s fine. She kind of turns around and wait.

And then the next moment slyly smiles at the camera. Right? And then the next moment, of course, there she is in the car. They’re taking her to this mansion and. Um, she brings them in and the mansion itself has sort of, I said, while we were watching it almost like Scooby-Doo Oh, definitely, absolutely. All these long corridors and all these passages, it’s secret passages, secret doors, you know, bookshelves swinging out to reveal, secret passageways and stuff.

Every room is like in a different style. There’s like a Renaissance room. There’s a really long dining room with the big chandelier’s and then the whole part of it almost looks like it. Thedral has an alter in it and stuff like that. And then you’re right then you’re going through like the study and stuff.

It’s, it’s sort of your prototypical haunted house. Mansion that all these witches live in and they’re inviting all of their, which friends over to have a feast. And the feast is of course, these guys, right? And it’s it’s, uh, which is Sabbath and, and their goal is that they want to resurrect this ancient witch goddess, who then they will make a sacrifice to in the form of the son, the young boy, Sergio.

And then that’s. Sun is supposed to be reborn of this, uh, Messiah, which, and then the tides are gonna turn, it’s no longer going to be a man’s world. It’s going to be a woman’s world. They’re going to take it back. Um, and it was always supposed to be the way it was always supposed to be. Right, right. And so they’re all tied up to those chairs, which to me was one of the funniest sequences.

In the dining room, right? It’s this beautiful dining room, this huge long table chandelier’s above and all of these, you know, our, our taxi cab guys, the driver, the dad, whose name is Jose. Um, the guy who was the, uh, green soldier, uh, who his name was Tony and the driver, Manuel, and then also the body host guy, the inadvertent passenger, you know, they’re all tied up there waiting for these witches to come and the poor passengers across the, sitting across from them.

And of course these witches are. It has to be said, they’ve sort of taken the storybook witches and they have said, this is, they’ve just committed to that fully. These are witches who like put kids in ovens and have a jars full of snakes and bat, you know, drink frogs, blood and that kind of stuff. Yeah.

And so they’re, they’re just casually talking. One of them is walking on the ceiling, talking on her cell phone, talking to the other, which is, you know, what are they going to bring to the feces? You bring ice very casually, you know, come on over the key characters that they meet here is, uh, Oh, the young thing.

That’s Eva. Eva Eva. And she is okay. So you’ve got kind of these three generations of witches. The one, the one that they ran into at the bar ends up being the grandmother. And she looks kind of stereotypical witchy with kind of the rough long gray hair and the wrinkled face. Um, but I really like the way they did the look of the rest of the witches.

You know, they were more kind of like society ladies, um, for the most part, but then you have Eva, so then you’ve got the grandmother. And then, uh, the mother who is now kind of, um, the, I guess the head witch and her name’s grassy, uh, and then her daughter is Eva. And she’s kind of like the hot punk, uh, which like half of her head is shaved on the side.

She’s got that long hair. It’s very beautiful. I, I read that this, uh, this woman is, is the filmmaker, the directors muse actress, uh, and he’s used her before and is inspired by her. I’m not surprised. She’s gorgeous. She’s beautiful. She’s beautiful. And she’s fantastic. Yeah. Really dynamic full of energy. And she can play both that really, but she has that look and of course, probably part, part of it’s makeup and everything like that.

But she has that look where she’s kind of scary. Oh yeah, absolutely. And I think she’s got kind of like some violet contacts in really intense, uh, and she plays it. I mean, she just goes for it, you know, there’s no reservation, there’s no holding back. Um, and it’s funny because she she’s a witch and you know, she’s got witchy powers and whatnot, but she kind of becomes.

Smitten with, um, our main character Jose, and then immediately turns into that crazy stalker girlfriend who you just met and is desperately in love with you and wants every minute of your attention. And it’s like, it is hilarious, um, that the, the scenes where suddenly they end up breaking free. And they’re going through the mansion and she suddenly diverts him through a secret passage and says, uh, and the witches are chasing everybody.

She diverts a Jose through a secret passage and says, all right, you go down the hall here, take a bunch of lefts, then take a right and go down, blah, blah, blah. I’ll meet you there. And then they have really in the mix, it’s this mad cap, but chasing this very domestic argument, uh, this little, this like girlfriend boyfriend sort of thing where he’s like, but what about the others?

And she says, well, You’d rather be with your friends than me.

And then he’s like, well, okay, maybe I can do without the friends, but what about my son? Wait a second. Are you saying you’re not, I’m not the most important thing in your life turns around and she’s angry and of course she’s stirring up all kinds of leaves and things, right? The winter and the hair is blowing in the wind and her eyes are really intense.

Which is funny, cause he’s being completely rational and you could tell and try it. Not even rational, but trying to appease her. Oh no, sweetie. I love you, but don’t you understand how I might want my son? Yeah. So that doesn’t end up working too well. Um, and, but she in anger just sort of, um, Flips back and convulses.

Oh, he kisses her. Yeah. He kisses her and that causes her to convulse and fall back. And it gives him an opportunity to escape and run around and get chased around a little bit more and meet, you know, some more interesting characters. Um, she has a brother who is from the sister, Eva from her first introduction.

You know, she’s just kind of casually talking about her home and the family she’s showing the guys around this is before they know that they’re witches. And she says something about her brother and, and one of the characters says, Oh, you have a brother. And, and, uh, She says, yeah, mom has him locked up and in chains, uh, and Jose, the dad says, well, that’s the only way and get them to do your homework and do their whole work.

I totally understand. Yeah. As it turns out, of course, this poor brother is actually locked up in like these catacombs underneath. Uh, and he just, he’s a funny character. He’s played for comic relief, but he’s just grotesque. He’s been in these catacombs for like 15 years. Skin is literally like flee, uh, hanging off, like it’s flayed off.

It’s gross. It’s disgusting. But then he’s going to have this cute simpleton kind of character. Very nice, really friendly and helpful. That’s right. He’s kind of like, Oh, okay. Yeah. You know, um, eventually Jose did manage to get all these keys off of the mother, which, and, uh, he finds one of them to unlock, uh, Jose’s shackles and he just sorta falls on me.

He’s like, okay, I’ll show you the way. Under the cemetery to this cave where this ritual is going to take place. He’s exposition man tells them about the sun, uh, that they’re gonna, they’re gonna sacrifice the sun and he’s going to get eaten. And he’s like, well, Won’t that kill him. And he says, well, you know, it had same thing happened to me and I’m all right.

I just got to look at them. Yeah. If that’s a picture of all right. Really skinny guy, skinny arms and stuff, pretty grotesque, but super friendly. Right. Funny stuff. And then they get, you know, it all culminates at this big, uh, which is Sabbath. And it really is large. I mean, it’s large scale. You’ve got tons of extras in a, you know, different kinds of which attire.

You see some Catholic nun, witches and, um, some kind of biker, which is, and then you’ve just got your kind of ladies who, who lunch, which is, and, but they’re all together in this place, in this huge cave. Uh, and they’re, they’re preparing for their ritual and they’re going to summon this. Got it. Yeah. And, and I mean, the borderline, the ridiculous we’re talking about is, you know, they have a giant table set and this huge plate, and this guy is carrying in a giant fork and a giant spoon up to this giant plate, you know?

And finally they bring the little boy in. It actually reminded me a lot of those I’m old school. I don’t mean, um, seventies, I mean like twenties and thirties sort of, uh, Cannibal movies, you know, or the woman’s going to be sacrificed into the lava. Yeah. I know what you mean. Almost like a Indiana Jones, temple of doom kind of thing.

Exactly. They’re all sort of chanting and there’s a big fire going and there’s this sort of almost comically giant. Like you might see in one of those old movies, a giant pot that the two explorers are cooking in, you know, and, and things. Right. All the other guys, these unfortunate guys who ended up there, they’re all tied up on these big posts around a fire, I guess, maybe to be sacrificed later.

Uh, but then, you know, they’re all tied to these stakes around a fire and they’re having. Silly silly banter between one another. Of course, you know, for them it’s very serious. They’re in their last moments. But for us as viewers, the things that they’re talking about are, are just. Yeah, again, it’s incongruous to the situation.

They should be screaming and moaning, and instead they’re having these sort of domestic disputes again, it’s really funny. And that to me actually was a point. It was well paced in that moment because as soon as that scene is sort of set, we get almost a musical number. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

where there’s chanting going on. And it’s an a, it’s not in Spanish, it’s not in English, it’s just totally, you know, which language or whatever. And, uh, we’re getting sweeping views of the witches and, uh, things going on. And it actually does a really good job. I thought of bringing the movie back down to earth.

And setting a sinister tone. Again, it takes a good five minutes or so. Um, but it’s enthralling and it suddenly you do start to feel, okay, this is creepy again, this is weird and someone’s going to get sacrificed and, uh, you know, the silliness fades wait for a little bit. And I thought, yeah, I thought that was a really good moment, you know, on the part of the filmmakers to actually give you a break.

And bring it down to scary. Otherwise, you know, you just get so wrapped up in the action that nothing you pay those to sort of go, you know, and this D I thought did a really good job of setting that pathos again, it was very creepy. It was. And, and, and the, the main, uh, which grassy and she’s, I guess, kind of the coven leader having taken over for her mom, um, she’s very well put together.

She’s kind of in a nice, kind of. Uh, business casual suit with her hair, very, you know, quaffed and done. And then in this scene, she takes off her wig to reveal her long witchy hair. Um, and she’s in, you know, kind of a priestess robes and it does become, you know, that they’re planning on sacrificing this little boy who is, you know, he’s this kind of cute little rambunctious, little boy throughout kind of maybe a little obnoxious from time to time, but I think he’s supposed to be, but, you know, You don’t want them to die.

So it does kind of bring the tone back to kind of a dark place again, and then, um, outcomes after all this chanting and stuff. Um, we finally see this goddess figure comes stomping in a very large CGI creature. Uh, and, uh, I said to Craig, uh, this is like the world’s nastiest stay Puft marshmallow, man. Yeah.

It is pretty nasty to look at. I mean, it’s, it’s this very large rotund naked, dirty, which, and of course it’s CGI and she’s, she’s wearing, um, some kind of woven basket on her head, like a mask of, of like a blinding mask or something. I dunno. And you mentioned the CGI, they do make. Fairly ample use of CGI in here, but I, I felt like it w it didn’t pull me out.

Uh, the, the thing with this big, which at the end, It could have very easily played silly and fake, and it is silly in that it’s supposed to be, but it’s also grotesque. Yeah. And then the, uh, the other CGI it’s there. But I think that it’s fairly limited and it’s executed really well. I’m thinking of, um, at that dinner scene that we were talking about before eventually, uh, the guys kind of get free and then they battle these witches and they’re, they’re hitting them with chairs and, and guns and all kinds of things.

And you see these sprays of blood and it’s clearly CGI, but it’s. Fairly minimal. And I thought it was good. I mean, I see so many CGI movies that it just seems cheap and fake and pulling up, not at all. And even the giant goddess, which didn’t look cheesy and fake, it was obviously CGI, but it was well done.

It was well done. And I thought that they integrated the CGI with the live action really well. Um, she, you know, she comes in, she comes and sits down at this. Ludicrously oversized. And when we say giant and we mean giant as she comes in, she’s blindfolded, she’s stepping on some of these witches. She lifts up her foot to take her next step.

And you see the witch squished in the bottom of her, her foot. Um, so she sits down at the table, uh, or her meal and, uh, and she picks up the boy. And the idea was that basically the boy experiences a rebirth. Yeah, she swallows them whole and then just gets crapped out the bottom almost immediately. They pull him out.

He’s all red and disgusting, and this, his boy is going to be sort of their, their Trojan horse as they call him. He’s gone, he’s now androgynous. And he has these powers and he is going to. Be the man, I guess that rises up in a man’s world to lead them. Yeah. So, uh, of course, uh, at this point, Eva decides that she is going to help Jose after all, for reasons I’m not entirely clear of.

Is it just her sort of love for Jose and the fact that the witches ended up tying her up and putting her away once they found that out, that she decides she wants to turn on basically her whole reason for existence, that it was both. I thought that, you know, she immediately had this attraction for this guy.

And from the very beginning, you know, she, at first she’s kind of playing with him, toying with him, cat and mouse, but then she becomes really kind of obsessive really, you know, attached to him. Um, and, uh, her mom and the other witches don’t like that, they say, girls, your age should be out. Doing drugs, getting fisted, you know,

um, but she, you know, she confesses that she has fallen in love with this guy and, and the mom says with all the money we spent to send you to the worst schools. And now, now you tell us you’re in love with this guy, cause he’s a good person. Um, and I guess as punishment, they chained her up and put her in a coffin in the catacombs from which she eventually escapes.

Uh, thanks to Jose, thanks to Jose. And so I think that she is attached to him. As is evidenced by the last scene, which we’ll talk about, but also she was established from the beginning as kind of being a rebellious daughter. That’s true. Um, and so, uh, I think that part of it was rebelling against the authority of her mother as well.

Maybe part of it too, was a love for her brother, perhaps, because she did seem very distraught when he was taken by the big, which that kind of, that happens. And, uh, uh, attempted to swallow him yet again. Uh, and, uh, yeah, so she did as decides to, and then there’s a big battle between her and her mother who was like the coven leader and it’s, it’s all very matrix style flying around, running up and down on walls, which again, I thought looked as real as I’ve seen it elsewhere.

Um, it was good. There were, you know, there were lots of flying effects I could tell, but some of them were done using wires. Some of them were done, uh, with CGI and other effects, but regardless of how it was accomplished, it looked good. It brings to mind a point that I think a lot of the characters in this movie were really throwaway characters.

A lot of them turned out not to be very integral to the plot, the companions, you know, Tony. Uh, we didn’t even mention Alfonso and Heimaey who were the two cops that sort of following them. It’s kind of a side story going on. The, the, the little boy, uh, Sergio, his mom is kind of this shrewish it’s Jose’s ex-wife and, uh, she uses her cell phone to track Jose cell phone.

So she follows them to the village and the detectives who are looking for Jose follow her, uh, and they’ve kind of got their own little side story going on, which is goofy and ties into the other thing, but you’re right. I mean, it’s, it’s. It’s it’s very much on the side. It probably could be excised from the film entirely and wouldn’t really change it that much.

But it’s funny. I mean, they’ve got winning moments. You were wrong with that, you know, they’re definitely there mostly as comic relief or just to have those moments, Tony, even, and Muriel, you know, the same way the driver and, uh, the guy who was the green army man, none of them really. None of them really end up helping out to do the escape.

It’s all Jose, uh, with the help of, uh, Eva, you know, at the end. And then after all of this, uh, you know, the endings kind of abrupt Eva says that she knows them. Weakness of this large beast, which is basically to take that basket thing off of her head, I guess. And apparently that’s enough and the thing sort of falls down and stands up and it’s really stumbles away and just disappears has gone.

Yeah. And then the other witches start running, but I think it’s when she breaks her, mother’s stab and kill essentially killing her mother, I believe, or depriving her of her power or something. You’re led to believe in, in those climactic scenes that both the grandmother and the mother are killed, the grandmother gets stepped on by the giant, the mother, Eva takes her staff and breaks it and it seemingly deprives over power.

You know, they’re up in the air, fighting Eva breaks a staff, the mother falls to the ground and it pans in on her she’s bleeding from the nose. It looks like she’s dead. Yeah. She’s not, she’s not. Yeah. And, and if I have any fault with this film, it is that the ending is a little unsatisfying and abrupt, not to say it.

Wasn’t funny. And not to say that, you know, I didn’t leave pretty happy with having watched it, but they just run out of the cave and they’re pursued by all the witches running out. And these witches with powers to fly and all this stuff, they just run. And then as they’re running across the field blackout one month later, And here we are suddenly again, uh, just in a simple auditorium, all the witches are kind of, they’re like they’ve all made up or something.

Um, Jose and Eva are, they’re sitting down. They’re clearly a couple minutes. Well, she’s, she’s kind of scrubbed some of her bad girl image away. She’s looking more domestic, like, you know, the, the. Step-mom kind of figure Jaime and, uh, Alfonso have gotten together. Uh, you can see these other witches, all, you know, sitting around, uh, watching amongst.

Normal people apparently. Yeah, it, this is, it looks like a school talent show or something. It’s Sergio is a school talent show. And, uh, it’s, it’s funny. His, his talent is that, uh, he puts a girl in one of those boxes that you’ve seen a million times that they then shove the blades through. Uh, and the dad kind of says, I don’t know if we should let them.

Him do this. And Eva says, Oh, he’s not hurting anybody. And then you see Sergio push these blades through and you hear the little girl inside screaming and you see blood squirting out. And the kid opens the case and pulls out this torso. And it’s like squirting blood all over the audience. People are screaming, getting up, running out of their seats.

Meanwhile, uh, even Jose are sitting there proudly the doting parents. And, uh, the kids Sergio puts the girl back in the box, pulls the blades out and she steps out still bloodied on her clothes from the experience. But. Seemingly mostly, mostly whole, she kind of stumbles out like pukes on the floor and kind of stumbles away.

That was a, it was a real Adams family moment there. It was the very dark humor that the family sees us sort of normal. Oh, that’s all right. Yeah. Kind of thing. And then the way that we know that the mother and the grandmother aren’t. Dead. Is it, uh, pans to the back of the theater? Um, in a scene that kind of reminded me of the end of, um, death becomes her, do remember that, uh, Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn are sitting in the back kind of veiled in dark glasses and whatnot.

Um, that’s what the, uh, Sergio his mom who has been, uh, converted to a witch and as part of the coven now is sitting there with, um, the, the grandmother and, uh, the mom, the, the main witch. And, um, they’re just kind of watching from the back and saying, They’ll come back to us. Eventually, all this happiness will, will destroy them eventually and they’ll be back.

And then they cackle wildly. And the end. Yeah, it’s maybe one of the first movies in a while since, uh, the witches, the roll doll based movie. Angelica Houston. Great movie. Yeah, that just sort of treats the Witchery sort of like the classic Witchery and, uh, introduces the humor. Like I said, kind of has that Adams family slash Scooby-Doo vibe to it, um, is very comical.

And, uh, I enjoyed it. It was very different, again, very different, very different. And that’s, like I said, you know, it’s, it’s nice when you come by, it’s kind of like, you know, finding a diamond in the rough it’s, uh, you kind of have to Wade through. Some muck, uh, every once in a while to find them. But when you do, or when I do, I get really excited to share them with other people.

Uh, cause I it’s fun for me to see how other people respond. I was really a little bit nervous that you might not like it. And yeah, well, I couldn’t imagine why you wouldn’t, but at the same time, like if he doesn’t want to be so disappointed, I don’t know what we’re going to talk about. Her I’m ready to gush and I thought it was stupid.

It is kind of stupid, but it embraces that. And I just, I think it’s so much fun. I’ll I’ll watch it again. I know, you know, this is a, this is a, definitely a repeat. It is one it’s one you can definitely watch again. It’s also another one you can sort of it’s one of those movies you can kind of pick up anywhere in the middle.

Pretty much and not feel like you’ve missed anything. It just is not very serious. Oh no, not at all. You know, it’s very tongue in cheek and intentionally, so, but it has those interesting relationship themes. And of course it plays that for laughs it plays it for less and many of the usual ways where we talk, where we see people bitching at each other and having these feuds over nothing.

And in some sexist ways, you know where women are, are the ones who are sort of unreasonable. But at the same time, I, you know, I couldn’t tell, I couldn’t tell if it was trying to make a feminist statement or if it was, you know, the opposite because all of the men in the movie talk about the troubles, their troubles with the women.

And of course it’s always the woman’s fault. You know, the women are controlling their manipulative, uh, et cetera, et cetera. But all of the men characters are oats. You know, like they, they, they just blunder through their entire existence. Um, the women are the ones who exhibit power and force and, you know, maybe they’re seen as manipulative and, uh, controlling because they are smart and tough.

And I couldn’t tell what. The intended message was, I didn’t really care. I think more than anything, maybe knocking the men down a few pigs. I’m thinking about that scene where they’re sort of split up and they’re going through the catacombs and Tony and Muriel, um, are walking through and, uh, They have just escaped this huge chasing and they’re really patting each other on the back.

Well, man, I feel so great. Don’t you feel? Yeah, man, that’s the kind of stuff we need to be doing all the time. You know, it’s kind of like show those women, you know, how we are we’re men, blah, blah, blah, then yeah. They ended up at this dark spot and they flip on their lights and to see where they’re going and comes across a whole lineup of the witches facing them.

And, uh, the guy immediately is like, Please don’t hurt me. Sorry. Well, and, and ultimately it’s Eva who has to save the day. Jose can’t do it on his own. I mean, he. He AIDS her, but really, you know, she’s the one that takes the reins and, and, and saves, you know, saves everybody’s behind. Yep. So there’s a message in there somewhere, maybe.

Yeah. If you’re really looking for one, I guess it didn’t need it, but you know, this is one of those things where you’re going to have to, uh, be committed to, to paying attention. Cause you’re going to have to read the subtitles unless. There’s probably a dub out there, but I hate dubs. And these, these actors, their performances are strong.

I can barely understand them with my, you know, elementary, Spanish from college 15 years ago, but they’re still, their performance is strong. I mean, you can see the emotion and what they’re playing. So I would really recommend watching it with the subtitles. Um, it’s worth it. It is. And you know, that’s one thing that w when you’ve watched enough movies with subtitles, It’s interesting how you can take the words that are coming out of their mouth.

And even though you don’t understand them, you put the words at the bottom of the screen, mentally in their mouth, and it’s funnier because their performance adds a tone to what you’re reading at the bottom that you can totally get. And so, yeah, you absolutely need to watch this with the subtitles. It’s a good one.

That’s good. Glad you liked it. Thank you, sir. Well, thank you again for joining us. If you enjoy this podcast, please share it with your friends. Please check out our other ones on our website. And, uh, we will see you again next week. This is Todd, and this is Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.

2 Responses

  1. Kristen says:

    Is this one on netflix?

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