Pandemonium (1982)

Episode 497, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: This week I thought we would go into the horror comedy section with something that I’ll bet nobody, maybe none of our listeners have ever heard of. I would be surprised because I thought that I would have heard of this movie.

As soon as I heard about it, I thought, “

Craig: Oh my God, Craig,

Todd: we have to do this.” And I think I discovered it around the time that Paul Reubens died. 

Yeah, I think I… Yeah. 

Todd: Yeah, I was looking up… So it was a couple years ago maybe. I was looking up stuff that he had been in and this came across and I looked over it. Oh, it’s, it’s a comedy. But then I realized it was a parody of slasher movies.

And then I looked at the cast and I’m like, “There is no way.” This movie just didn’t seem like it could exist without me knowing about it. It’s called Pandemonium from 1982. It’s rated PG. It’s not bloody or anything. It is more comedy, I would say, than horror parody, but that’s the through line. God, the cast list is insane.

If you grew up watching movies and television in the ’70s, ’80s, this is an all-star cast of comedians all together in one film. A lot of the Groundlings in here. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: So I, I thought we would watch it finally because I had it. You know, you couldn’t find this for a while. Part of the reason why we waited so long is that I had a hard time getting a hold of it.

It wasn’t streaming on anything. It wasn’t available on Amazon. I don’t remember if you could even buy a DVD. And I managed to s- track down some really, really crappy copy of it, and I was like, “Ah, this copy’s too crappy.” And at some point in time it became available on Tubi. Mm-hmm. Because I was looking for it again for the 10th time, and suddenly it popped up on Tubi and I’m like, “Well, great.”

And it’s a beautiful pristine copy of it, too. 

Mm-hmm. 

Todd: It looks like, yeah, like you would’ve seen it in the theater. So here we are, Pandemonium, 1982. I’m curious if you heard about this before, ’cause I never mentioned it to you. 

Craig: I think maybe you did. Just… I think you’re right. I think it was when Paul Reubens passed away, we were talking about him and, and potentially what we could talk about to pay tribute to him, and I think that this came up.

But I had never heard of it before, and I didn’t really look into it then. So no, I, I had no familiarity with this movie at all, which I guess kind of surprised me only because I’m so familiar with so many of the people, not only familiar with the cast, but also at the time that the movie… Well, not at the time that it came out.

The time that it came out I would’ve been three, but- In the ’80s, some of these people were people I was really familiar with and fond of. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And, and it also seems like, I think that it was kind of obscure. It didn’t do well at all. It, it tanked for, I don’t know, people argue different reasons that I’m sure that we’ll talk about.

I think the most obvious reason is because it’s not good. 

Todd: No. 

Craig: But 

Todd: That’s the best reason. 

Craig: But I, I, I guess because it didn’t, you know, it, it, it didn’t do well, the producers or distributors or whoever just kind of dumped it into late night cable territory where I guess apparently it played fairly often.

This is the kind of movie that I would’ve expected to see on Up All Night with Rhonda Shear. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And I o- I think that that’s the only context in which this movie could be enjoyed. Yeah. You have to appoint to… You, you have to approach it from that mindset. Like- 

Todd: Right … 

Craig: you, you have to go into it knowing that this is going to not only be stupid, which it is, but really pretty bad.

Yeah. And it’s, it’s really not the kind of thing, I think, that you can sit down and pay close attention to and enjoy. 

Todd: Yeah. It, it might be so stupid that it drives you crazy. 

Craig: Uh-huh. 

Todd: Now, we’ve done some things like this. Obviously Student Bodies I think was one of the earliest horror comedies, and that predates this.

Craig: Yes. 

Todd: And that one’s actually pretty good. 

Craig: It was funnier than this one was. 

Todd: It was funnier. I mean, it’s dated in its references of course, because it’s just referencing movies from the ’70s, and horror’s gone through a lot since then. But and it’s dated in some of its, you know, I don’t know, I think there’s like references to weed and things like that, you know, stuff that was just a little more pop culture-y at the time.

But I feel like that one- At least followed the assignment to a T. They were making a straight out slasher parody and they did it. And I find it chuckle-worthy. 

Mm-hmm. 

Todd: I still like it. And there, and there’s a weird… You know, there’s some interesting actors in there. There’s that guy who was really lanky who they called the Human Stick.

Remember him? 

Craig: Vaguely. 

Todd: I still sometimes go back and watch Student Bodies if it happens to be around and I’m bored. 

Craig: Sure. 

Todd: Then we did, um, as a tribute to another comedian who passed away, we did Frankenstein’s General Hospital. Remember that? 

Craig: Yeah. Yeah. 

Todd: God. 

Craig: It was bad, too. 

Todd: That was maybe worse than this one, I kinda think.

Craig: I don’t know because it, I felt like at least that one, as stupid as it was, had a plot. This movie doesn’t really have a plot. 

Todd: Although you can argue that most slasher movies don’t really. 

Craig: I guess. I mean, there, right, there’s that setup. Cheer camp, slasher. That’s it. Like- 

Todd: Mm-hmm … 

Craig: I mean, you, you’ve kind of got other bits and pieces, like jokey bits of exposition.

But ultimately none of it matters. The, the plot is entirely insignificant. It’s just A series of really juvenile, really silly gags over and over and over, and like, it, it just never stops. Like, everything is a gag. Yeah. The closest thing, I mean, like you said, Student Bodies. Student Bodies was a lot like this.

I think they did it better. I, I think that when it’s done really well, like when we’re talking like Mel Brooks or Leslie Nielsen, like Naked Gun, Airplane type stuff- Mm-hmm … those movies are stupid too, but they’re funny. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: The jokes may be dumb and juvenile and crass, but they’re funny. Yeah. This movie isn’t funny.

Todd: It’s not. 

Craig: It’s not funny. No. The jokes aren’t funny. The gags aren’t funny. They’re just, they’re groaners. They’re roll your eyes, like, “Oh my God.” Like, it’s, it’s bad. 

Todd: I liken it to Transylvania 6-5000. 

Craig: Ugh, I liked that better than this. 

Todd: Yeah. That was years after this, and that one I think benefits from maybe just the humor’s a little bit better.

Again, they’re trying… And that, you know, I think we talked about this when we talked about Transylvania 6-5000, about how some of it was so stupid. I, I think Carol Kane was in that too, wasn’t she? 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: And some of it was so dumb, but you could tell they were going for this Mel Brooks style comedy. 

Craig: Right.

Todd: And on paper it looked to be fine, I think, and it turned out that so much of the movie was ad-libbed. 

Craig: Mm-hmm. 

Todd: Was, uh, was, was, you know, just these guys who were really good comedians riffing, but the, you know, it just didn’t really work because it couldn’t… Y- you just can’t have a movie like that. It just wasn’t clever enough.

And I think at that time, I’d have to go back and listen to that episode, we kinda talked about what makes a movie work and what makes it d- what makes comedy work and what makes it doesn’t. You know, like Mel Brooks’ comedies are pretty consistently funny. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: And they’re really in this same vein. And the Airplane movies, what were those, Abrams?

J- Abrams and Bruckheimer movies? 

Craig: I don’t remember. 

Todd: They’re groaners too, but I don’t know, they’re just more fun, aren’t they? 

Craig: Uh-huh. 

Todd: And they have ensemble casts just like this one- Uh-huh … just full of stars that you’ll recognize, and people work together all the time. They work. This absolutely doesn’t. 

Craig: Great.

Todd: And it’s a shame Because they’re trying. Again, I, I don’t, I don’t get it. What is the, what is the secret sauce, you know? What, what’s different? 

Craig: I, I, I’m not sure. H- honestly, I, I think, and this is a huge discussion, but basically I think that to do really stupid comedy well, you have to be smart and, and you have to have a really good sense of timing.

But it’s not even just about the timing, it’s the writing. I mean, Mel Brooks’ stuff, yes, his jokes are low. Like, it, it, a lot of it is low humor, but there’s something smart underneath it. It’s not always satire or com- or, or commentary. It is sometimes, but not always. It’s just really well done. This, I read a whole lot of theories for why this is as bad as it is Because I felt kind of bad, like- 

Todd: Yeah

Craig: I, I was trying to find, you know, like is there a cult audience? Like, what does this cult audience… A- and apparently there is a small one. I, I don’t know if it’s, again, just based on nostalgia, like kids who grew up catching this late at night on HBO or… But a variety of things, I think, didn’t work. First of all, the director was Alfred Sole?

Yeah. Sole? I don’t know. Whose only other, if I remember correctly, really big thing was Alice Sweet Alice, which we haven’t done, have we? 

Todd: No, and why not? 

Craig: I, I don’t know. I feel like I’ve started watching that movie before and, and haven’t been able to finish it. But it is kind of a notorious, and, and well-known and, you know, I think respected film in, in the horror genre.

And so he went from that to this, and a- as I understand, again, I don’t think I’ve seen it in its entirety, but as I understand, it’s kind of a stylized, you know, straight horror film, whereas this is just a goofy, off-the-wall comedy, and he has said since, “I was not a comedy director. I didn’t know how to direct comedy.”

Yeah. A- and I think that that shows. And though there are so many amazing performers in here, and again, like people that you are definitely going to recognize, it was kind of a mix-match of different styles that didn’t know how to work together. 

Todd: Oh. 

Craig: I didn’t think about that un- till I read it somewhere, but then h- having read it, I, I see it.

Because I read that, like you said, several of them came from the Groundlings, like Paul Reubens, who ag- is fantastic. I’m such a, a huge, huge fan. Phil Hartman, who was a genius. Tragic that he was taken in his prime. Edie McClurg, who was everywhere- Yeah. … in the ’80s, but people would know her best, I think, from she was the secretary in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and then any other number of movies where she basically played that same character.

Todd: Yeah. I- 

Craig: But you’re definitely gonna recognize her. These are all Groundlings, and so they come from a really, you know, strenuous improv background. And then you’ve got these more, like, old school Hollywood actors, like Eve Arden, who… Wasn’t she the principal in Grease? Yeah. That’s who I know her from. She 

Todd: was.

Craig: And, and this guy, Tom Smothers, who I don’t really know much about him, but he was kind of an older Hollywood leading man. Oh, 

Todd: dude, it’s so funny you don’t know much about Tom Smothers. You never saw The Smothers Brothers on TV, did you? 

Craig: No, I didn’t. I, I think that was, like… I remember my dad talking about The Smothers Brothers- 

Todd: Yeah

but I don’t 

Craig: think I ever saw it. 

Todd: I used to watch the reruns of them all the time, and so, you know, I mean, obviously, because they were on before my time. But, uh, they would show up in syndication and reruns all the time, and maybe after reruns of The Lawrence Welk Show or something like that. But The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour was great.

It was pretty notorious as being very counterculture for its time. In fact, that’s what got them into trouble with the network, is they were very anti-war and the network didn’t like that, and they were like, “Well, screw you.” 

Yeah. 

Todd: And then they eventually got taken off the air. But Tom Smothers here, his, his brother Dick Smothers, but Tom Smothers here was also known as the Yo-Yo Man.

He did yo-yo tricks on the show. 

Oh, that’s funny. 

Todd: And he also, like, sold instructional videos on how to do tricks with the yo-yo, and sold his own yo-yos, and I was a fan. I learned, I learned how to yo-yo from Tom Smothers and watching his instructional videos. 

Craig: I, I can’t say I’m surprised. 

Todd: It sounds like something I would do, right?

God. I… 

Craig: These guys- So you, so you had them. There’s a theme song. Well, there’s a theme… I’m sure there is. Oh my God. So- So these guys kind of, uh, from an earlier generation, and then Carol Kane, who again, huge fan. I mean, she’s been working… I, I, I think, uh, Taxi came after this. I think this was really early. I think that she had already done When a Stranger Calls.

Hmm. ‘Cause that may have been the only thing she had done at this point. But she went, you know, on to be on Taxi and, and has been working since then. I always remember her from Scrooged. Yeah. She’s one of my favorite parts of that movie. We 

Todd: love that one. 

Craig: She was also Corey Haim’s mom in License to Drive, and she’s hilarious in that movie too.

Todd: She’s, uh, Mad Max’s wife in, uh, Princess Bride. Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah. And so she’s excellent, but she is classically trained in theater. So you’ve got these young improv kids, and then you’ve got Carol Kane and these older actors, and they were just approaching it in different ways. And then you’ve got a director who doesn’t know how to direct comedy and doesn’t really know comedy.

So most everything, and I was not at all shocked to hear this, most everything was improv’d. Hmm. And they were just throwing shit at the wall and seeing what stuck. And I don’t know how they picked what stuck because it didn’t stick for me. It just wasn’t funny. And then, and then the last thing, the last thing that the, the, the cast and crew I read Knew that they were DOA when the movie was gonna come out because they had filmed it under the title Thursday the 12th, and it was meant to be an intentional obvious spoof of Friday the 13th.

But while they were in production, they found out that there was another movie being in production and they were using the title Saturday the 14th. And so to avoid confusion or, or to, you know, whatever, avoid seeming like they were ripping off somebody else, they changed the title, and the title doesn’t really give any suggestion of what the movie is or what it’s about.

Todd: It’s an awful title. 

Craig: Yeah, it’s really bad. Nobody knew what it was, nobody knew what to expect, and it just bombed and I’m, I’m not surprised. 

Todd: Yeah. Alfred Sole got the job because he was going to direct another horror film called Ghouls and that, that fell through. And around the same time, the press was going on about the death of horror movies.

You know, this was one of those cycles just before the slashers got big in the earl- in the ’80s. I think Terror Train didn’t do very well. And so anyway, like, people weren’t terribly interested in doing another horror movie all of a sudden. And so there were these, there was this screenplay out there written by these two guys, Jamie Klein and Richard Whitley, who really hadn’t done much, had never did much, but they thought that, you know…

They saw Friday the 13th and thought that it was ridiculous enough they could, they could make fun of it. But, like, clearly over time they lost the plot a little bit because although it does, especially toward the latter quarter or latter third I would say, kinda slip back into its parody of slasher movies, a good portion of it, as you said earlier, is just broad comedy.

Mm-hmm. 

Todd: It, it’s just silly scenes between people at this cheerleading camp. I would almost say it loses some focus there too because it doesn’t have a plot. What’s the through line? There is no, there is no through… Even the through line of it being a, a, a slasher is lost after the first 10 minutes or so.

Craig: Well, and it, like, for the first, I don’t know, 45 minutes or an hour, I don’t even remember how long this was, but for at least what seems like the first half, you’re just kind of reminded that it’s a slasher because a black gloved hand will come into frame in the back of a scene, or, like, just as somebody is walking off- Yeah

screen, the black hand will show up and be like, “Oh darn, missed him again.” Like, that’s- 

Todd: Swipe at them. 

Craig: Yeah Like 

Todd: a cartoon. 

Craig: Right. It’s really silly. And it I don’t know. I was gonna say it doesn’t really know what it wants to be. It’s, it’s really not much of anything in particular, but there are also things like in the beginning I thought, “Okay, maybe this is gonna be like a Scary Movie, uh, the franchise Scary Movie.

Maybe it’s gonna be that type of- Hmm … parody, where it’s not just parodying necessarily one movie, say Friday the 13th, but it, it’s really pulling jokes from a variety of things. And I was led to believe that because when we’re introduced to Carol Kane, her name… What’s her name? They’re all Sandy, Mandy, Andy, Randy.

Todd: Oh, she’s Sandy. Yeah, she’s Sandy. That’s funny. There’s a point at which they’re all rattled off, right? That, that was hilarious. 

Craig: Whoever she is. 

Todd: I didn’t even catch that until that was rattled off. 

Craig: I didn’t either. 

Todd: I wrote it down. Sandy, Mandy, Candy. 

Craig: Sandy- Yeah … Mandy, Candy, Randy, Andy, and Glen. Dan. And 

Todd: Bambi.

Craig: And Bambi. Bam- Bambi is the head of the camp or whatever. She’s an old- Yeah … cheerleader. But when we’re first introduced to, I think she’s Candy, I think. Uh, whatever. Carol Kane. She’s at the bus station or train station with her mom, who is played by Eileen Brennan. Yeah. Yeah. Who again, you would totally recognize.

I remember her as being Jack’s acting teacher from Will & Grace, but that was when she was much older. She’s been in a bazillion things. 

Todd: I think of her from Clue. She’s, 

Craig: um- Yes. Oh, absolutely … Miss Peacock. Is that right? Miss Peacock. Yeah. Yeah. 

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: Oh, she’s great in that, too. Great movie. But she is, like, playing the mom from Carrie, and she says something about Candy’s dirty pillows.

Clip: Don’t be tempted, child. Don’t get on that bus. Mama. You mustn’t go to that evil camp with those, those cheerleaders. Um Everyone will see your dirty pillows. Those aren’t dirty pillows, Mama, they’re breasts.

Not those. Those are titties. Those are dirty pillows. Those aren’t my dirty pillows, Mama. They’re his dirty pillows. They’re not dirty pillows. They’re breasts. But out. 

Craig: And she turns to some bum who’s standing right there holding pillows, and even that guy was a guy that we just saw in some o- I think he was in Curse 2.

Todd: Hmm. 

Craig: Wasn’t he one of the guys in the… Like, after the guy got bit by a snake and they stopped at, like, a hotel and there was a bar in the hotel? I think he was one of those guys. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Anyway A- and then Candy has telekinesis that also comes with a side of laser eyes. And so I thought that that was gonna be more of a thing, and I thought, “Okay, good.

This is going to be kind of a broad jab at, you know, a lot of popular cliches or popular films, and it’s gonna be a lot of in jokes.” And I’m down with that. I really… Like, I enjoy the Scary Movie franchise. But it’s not. If it is, the jokes or the references were so broad or obtuse that I missed them. 

Todd: Yeah.

Craig: Because that was one of the only direct references that I can recall. 

Todd: Yeah, there were not many. They, they were just broad, like you said, like slasher-type things. The, it starts out even almost pulling from, um, Student Bodies, where there’s a lot of s- text on screen. 

Mm-hmm. 

Todd: Right? It says, like, “Victim number one”- Mm-hmm

and flashes, and we see Carol Kane scene. And then victim number two, we were introduced to Glen, who was Judge Reinhold, who doesn’t belong in this movie really. I mean, yes, he’s a comic actor, but he’s almost a different flavor than all the rest. I, I don’t think of him as the silly, goofy guy. 

Craig: He, he plays more of the straight man later in his early career, which was just about to take off.

I thought it was funny seeing him in this because I felt like it really showed him cutting his teeth. Like- 

Todd: Ah, yeah. 

Craig: Like, this is… I- Judge Reinhold, bless him, you know, was- Yeah … cute and silly in the ’80s. I liked him. He was funny in Beverly Hills Cop and, and some other stuff, too, but- 

Todd: I mean, I watched Vice Versa over and over again- 

Craig: Yeah, that was all right

so 

Todd: I’m gonna be able to… Yeah. Again. 

Craig: He was, he was a good butt hole in Gremlins. I mean, he was around. He was, he was doing stuff. Yeah. He is really, really green in this movie. But I mean, the whole thing can’t be taken seriously, so I don’t know what more he could have done. But it, it is funny to see him in a terrible blonde wig- Being goofy, being goofy in this movie 

Todd: When we’re introduced to him, and this is just kind of an idea of the level of humor you’re looking at, you know, his mother is telling him, “Now, at camp you can’t ever touch yourself or you’ll go blind.”

He’s like, “Okay, Mother.” And then his father comes out and he is blind. He’s got dark glasses on, and he’s got pencils in a… I think this must have been a thing where blind people sell pencils or something. 

Craig: On the street, I th- yeah. 

Todd: Oh my God. And so, you know, it’s very cringey and dated when we thought all of this kind of humor was okay, and it’s so bad.

You know, he’s just like, “Hey, oh, by the way, you wanna buy a pencil?” And he’s like, “Sure, Dad.” Like he always does it. And as he goes to put the pencils away in his briefcase, he op- his briefcase flies open and it looks like he’s got like a million pencils in there like he’s done this a bunch before. So it’s just these old-school blind jokes.

He says, “Okay, goodbye son,” you know, as he walks off the camera, and of course he’s waving in the wrong direction. I’m like, “Oh my God.” 

Mm-hmm. 

Todd: He says, “Dad, I’ll buy you a pencil as soon as you do your Ray Charles impression.” And so his dad bobs his head left and right. He’s like, “Okay.” Really? Mm-hmm. Oh, Jesus. Uh, he’s victim two.

Victim number three is, uh, is so bizarre. 

Craig: Mandy. Yeah, this was so weird. 

Todd: Oh, what is going on here? There’s like h- Mandy’s father is talking to us, breaking the fourth wall, as though he’s a television presenter. 

Clip: And time to meet the breakfast. First, from the dairy wonderland of Wisconsin, it’s eggs, presented by my own son Chip Junior.

And now from the golden wheat fields of Nebraska, it’s Toast, presented by my lovely wife, Chip Sr. Good morning, Daddy 

Todd: Ugh. Oh I don’t know. It’s 

Craig: weird … 

Todd: introduces his family, his wife, her, all that. Like, what, what? What a weird mashup. 

Craig: And his daughter, she’s like a beauty queen type, I guess. 

Todd: And she’s really into brushing her teeth.

What… Whose idea was that? I wondered if at one point this was a slight nod to Grease. 

Craig: I don’t know. 

Todd: You know, there’s that bit in the t- where they do the, the toothbrush- Yes … brusha, brusha, brusha with- 

Craig: Uh-huh … 

Todd: but I don’t know. She’s really into brushing her teeth. She’s a beautiful woman. I, I thought she’d been in more, but she’s hardly been in anything.

This was her claim to fame, really, ’cause she’s got that look typical of this time that seemed like it would do really well on, like soaps or television or s- you know, The Love Boat or whatnot. So that’s her. Victim number four flashes on the screen and is asking which way to cheerleading camp at a, at a food truck.

And, you know, this is your very light parody of the scene where everybody s- in the restaurant stops and stares. In this case, they all run out, and then the food truck people warn her about, uh, going, ’cause that cheerleading camp had an accident. We didn’t talk about the accident, and this is the thing that made me think it had promise.

The very first thing in the movie is a football team, and this guy, star quarterback, I don’t even remember his name, wins the whole deal, yada, yada, yada. They all go into the, the locker room, and there’s this one girl who’s going to his locker, and I don’t know, she hides, and then everybody gets in, and then she’s, goes back out with the other cheerleaders, but she’s not so popular with them.

I don’t know. But then the other cheerleaders ru- then she’s… They’re like, “Oh, I think our vegetable routine went really well,” and they have these giant vegetables that they’re holding. They’re like prop vegetables. And as they walk away, we see, like, are, the first of our POV from the Black Glove killer’s hand, who is unlocking a door to a javelin, where the one javelin is kept- 

Yeah

Todd: under lock and key. Okay. Opens it up. It pans up this huge javelin, and as soon as we see the, the pointy end of it, there’s like a sparkle, like an animated sparkle on it as he picks it up. And then POV style, you know, uh, reminiscent of Bay of Blood. The first Friday the 13th, I think, has a kill, or one of the Friday the 13ths has a kill like this in it, where, you know, it’s POV with a long stick and a b- some people get skewered.

He tosses the javelin at the cheerleaders as they’re walking away in a line. And almost as though it’s a routine, each of them in turn s- turns around towards the camera. I thought this was really well filmed, by the way. This is my favorite part of the whole movie. They’re like, “Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.” And of course, that javelin goes through all of them, so they’re like, literally like a giant shish kebab.

And later, when they’re carted off in the ambulance, they’re all laying down just like a giant shish kebab. And so Apparently this is one of several murders that starts happening to cheerleaders and at cheerleading camps, which we see from newspaper reports that flash on the screen. 

Craig: The cheerleading camp closes down because of all these murders, but then we pick up when it’s opening up again.

Todd: Exactly. 

Craig: And Bambi, the girl who the other cheerleaders were mean to and wouldn’t let her on the team is, you know, she’s gonna have her own little cheerleader experience now and coach all these new folks or whatever. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: God. The, the, the last two, victims five and six are these, like, letterman sweater, joint smoking douchebags, Andy and Randy.

One of them was Jimmy Olsen from Superman, I think. 

Todd: Oh. 

Craig: From the, the Christopher Reeves Superman. 

Todd: Oh, okay. 

Craig: Pretty sure I didn’t catch that. But my… There was one line that for whatever reason made me laugh out loud, and it was when, like… So w- once we’ve been introduced to all of them, they all congregate on this college campus, which I think they filmed almost all of it at USC, but they all kind of congregate.

And I think the last one to arrive is Sandy, who’s the brunette, and she’s kinda like the sassy, tough one. And when she arrives, it parodies that scene in mostly, like, teen romance comedies, but whatever, where the boy, like, sees the girl and, you know, she’s almost, like, i- in slow motion and soft lighting.

And in this case, one of the boys sees the girl and he’s like, “Oh my God, look at her. She’s the girl of my dreams,” or something like that. And he goes, “I know just what I’m gonna say to her.” And she walks by and he goes, “Hello, bitch.” 

Clip: And I 

Craig: just thought that was so funny. “I know just what I’m gonna say to her.

Hello, bitch.”

Oh, God. I don’t know why that made… That was the only thing, I think, in the movie that made me laugh out loud. Oh my gosh. It was so funny to me. Oh my gosh. Uh, but then, I mean, nothing really happens. I mean, we’re… Okay, I guess we find out that a, somebody has escaped from prison? And his name is Jarrett and another person has also escaped from the nearby mental institution.

So there are two killers supposedly on the loose. And then we’re introduced to Cooper, I think. Hmm. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Who is this guy? I, I, I couldn’t figure out who he is. He’s come… 

Todd: I don’t know who he is either. He’s, I guess he’s a cop of sorts? 

Craig: A cop or I couldn’t tell if he was, like, a cop or if he was, like, campus security.

He’s dressed as a Canadian Mountie. 

Clip: Ugh, God. 

Craig: And, and he ha- and he rides a horse named Bob, who is also a character in the story, sometimes played by a real horse, sometimes played by, like, a papier-mâché horse. Uh-huh. Like, he sits on the horse at a desk that’s specially made for horse height. It’s so weird and so stupid, and I could not figure out why he was dressed like that.

Maybe that’s a spoof of Animal House with that- 

Todd: Well- … general 

Craig: guy? 

Todd: Or it was j- I mean, it’s a reference to, um, Dudley Do-Right. 

Craig: Okay. 

Todd: The Mounties, right? And he, “I always get my man,” and he repeats this multiple times as though it’s funny. Ugh. 

Craig: Okay. Well, it went right over my head. Now, maybe that’s just a time thing.

Maybe that joke was a little before my time. I don’t know- Yeah … 

Todd: but it was dumb. Still not funny. 

Craig: Right. And he has… I don’t know. The, they just work in the same building, I think is the only reason that they’re always together, but it’s Paul Reubens, who I guess is a janitor named Johnson. 

Todd: Well, he’s named Dribble until he says, “Change your name,” and he’s like, “Okay, now my name’s Johnson.”

What? Was that a joke? 

Craig: I don’t know. I didn’t get it. Oh. I didn’t get it. And they’re just around every once in a while. Like, we’ll have scenes with them every once in a while. They’re always stupid. I mean, I guess the only notable thing here is that this was when Pee-wee Herman was, I think, in the Groundlings or Pee-wee Herman, Paul Reubens.

But it really seems like- I would prefer to think that he was developing what would eventually become the Pee-Wee Herman- 

Todd: Yeah … 

Craig: kind of voice. 

Todd: I really think so. I think that’s what’s happened. 

Craig: I would rather think that than to just think that he had kind of a limited range. I, I, ’cause I don’t believe that to be true.

So it really seems here like he’s experimenting with the voice that will eventually become Pee-Wee Herman. So I guess that from a historical perspective, it’s kind of- … interesting to see that. But knowing who Paul Reubens was and would become, he’s terribly underutilized. Like- 

Todd: Yeah … 

Craig: it’s not worth it to see it just, like don’t go in thinking, “Oh, you know, I’ve never seen this Paul Reubens movie before.”

No. It, like he, he doesn’t have the opportunity to do anything really fun or interesting. It’s not worth it. 

Todd: It’s confusing from a modern perspective, ’cause you look back and you almost think he’s doing the Pee-Wee Herman schtick, but he’s not. He’s not that character. He’s just got the voice and some of the facial expressions, but- 

Craig: Right

Todd: you know, he’s not childlike, he doesn’t have that suit on. He- Right … he’s just doing it. I think you’ve, I think you probably nailed it. And I think we talked about this when Paul Reubens died. I think we discussed a little bit about how, you know, he really locked into that and really developed it and then really protected it and- 

Craig: Yeah

Todd: for a while would even… He wouldn’t go out not in character and- 

Craig: Right … 

Todd: even some of his friends at the Groundlings would be like, “God, this guy is so talented.” They were like, “Dude, you’ve gotta do… You can’t just be doing this one character your whole life. You’ve, you have more to offer than that.” 

Craig: Right. 

Todd: But yeah, uh, this would be an early time when he was clearly trying that out everywhere and trying to figure out what it was gonna be.

And so yeah, I think for that perspective, it is kind of historically interesting. But it’s a shame, like you said, he’s got nothing to do, and he has really even no schtick to do. 

Craig: No. 

Todd: He’s got almost no jokes. He’s just got some line, one-liners. That’s about it. Oh. I love this bit, though, when the guy from the asylum and the guy from the prison end up in the same truck, like one of them’s driving a truck and picks up the other guy as a hitchhiker Uh-huh

as the truck is driving off. 

Clip: Where you going? To college. Me too. Where you from? The prison. Really? I’m from the asylum. No kidding. Maybe we ought to form a club. Yeah. You know, my dad has this old barn that we could use. You know, and, uh, it needs some curtains. You make curtains? I don’t do curtains. 

Todd: It was stupid- 

Clip: Yeah

Todd: but I did chuckle at this bit. I thought this, this could have been really funny. 

Could have been. Right. Right. 

Todd: Yeah. I mean, it’s just a bunch of gags. Like, we don’t have to go through it all, right? Right. Like, but I do wanna point out a few things. One of them is, it keeps coming up, this, this really cringey racial comedy that just does not fly today.

The cheerleaders get ready in- together at gym for their first lesson, and I think it’s the… Oh, the guy who played Squiggy in Laverne & Shirley. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: He’s a character in there. 

Craig: Yeah, Salt and Pepa. They’re, they’re… His name is Pep- Pepe, and then there’s this other lady. I don’t even know who they are. They just hang around.

Todd: They check her in. It’s like they’re handling the front desk at the cheerleading camp, which is more like a school than anything else, so it’s confusing. 

Craig: I have no idea who these people are. 

Todd: But I think this would go over a lot of people’s heads if they’re not familiar. That scene is clearly a parody of old, like, werewolf movies.

There’s always this moment where, you know, somebody checks into an old inn in this dark village out in the middle of Transylvania or something like that, and there’ll be some weird young guy at the front that’s almost like an Igor-type character. And then there’ll be some older, like, crone-like lady, you know, who comes in from the back, who’s mysterious, maybe like a witch or something like that.

They’re creepy and they’re warning someone, you know, that these parts are magical and don’t be here, and things like that. And I think this is… Th- their introduction is clearly trying to spoof that, but it’s so out of place. And there’s no werewolf in this movie ever again. 

Craig: No. 

Todd: But we hear a lot of howling during this scene, and a weird effect of, like, smoke at the bottom?

Craig: Yeah. That was strange. Especially when she was ar- But I feel like what you were gonna say was, you know, during their class- They, like a murder tour comes through, like on a tr- like a 

Todd: dead cheerleaders tour. 

Craig: God. 

Todd: I mean, I like the idea. The camp reopened, and now, like, they’re also making, like, a tourist attraction out of it.

Like, “Here, see where the murders happened.” Because this is actually a thing, right? And they’re driving around while these new cheerleaders are practicing. But what we have on there are these Japanese tourists who are, “Ooh, ooh, I saw, I saw,” taking pictures. 

Craig: It was a very popular joke in the ’80s, yeah. 

Todd: It really was.

Japan was big for us in the ’80s. We thought they were gonna take over the world, and they did a lot of traveling to the US to, as tourists, and they got a big reputation for just taking a lot of photos, ’cause they made all the good cameras at the time. 

Craig: Right, right. 

Todd: I mean, it all made sense back then. It, it’s very cringey now.

Craig: I know. I mean, i- i- even, I mean, even then it was a ridiculous joke. You know, like- 

Todd: Yeah … 

Craig: it was, it was a blatant stereotype. I don’t think anybo- I don’t know Yeah, it was- It, it was a different time … caricature Our sense of humor was different. But right, it was caricature. I don’t know. We didn’t find it offensive in the ’80s, but we didn’t find a lot of things offensive in the ’80s, so who knows?

Todd: True. True. But then this gets taken to a whole other extreme later on when there is an airplane scene. 

Craig: Glen, what is his last name that rhymes with dandy? Glen Dandy. 

Todd: Oh man, this is so convoluted. 

Craig: He, what is his name? We just were talking about him. Judge 

Todd: Reinhold. Judge Reinhold. Yeah. 

Craig: He gets, like, sexually frustrated or something and decides to go do gymnastics in the gym, jumping on the springboard.

I can’t remember what that thing is actually called. 

Todd: Trampoline? 

Craig: It- it’s… No, no, no, it’s not the trampoline, right? He- he’s, like, jumping, he’s jumping off of a springboard over something, I think, and this also didn’t make any sense. Somebody is standing outside with a giant comical cartoonish TNT box, I think, the ones that you, like, push the handle down.

The 

Todd: detonator, 

Craig: yeah. A detona- it, like a cartoon detonator, and he keeps jumping on this springboard, and the first few times we see it, there’s nothing there. But then the last time we see it, it’s all strapped up with dynamite, with TNT. 

Todd: That had to be an editing mistake. 

Craig: No, I think it was supposed to be a joke.

Like, somehow they armed it with TNT in between his jumps or something. I don’t know. Oh, okay. But anyway, the whole point is he jumps on it, it explodes, it shoots him like a rocket out the window and into the sky, and then he flies alongside a commercial aircraft and is, like, out the window begging the people inside for help.

It was really silly. 

Todd: Which must have been a slight reference to that Twilight Zone episode. 

Craig: Oh, I don’t know. I feel like we’ve seen this kind of silly thing in a bunch of places, but I don’t even remember how it, it, like, that’s the last that I remember is, like, he’s, like, pounding on the window and, again, it’s, like, Ja- maybe it’s the same Japanese tourists.

I don’t know. 

Todd: I’m not sure it really ends in any particular way. I think he just ends up being, he’s just dead. 

Craig: We never see him again, right? 

Todd: But this is Air Tanaka, and there is a white woman dressed like a geisha who gets over the intercom before he’s there and gives, in a terrible, terrible Japanese-English accent-

Clip: Welcome to Air Tokyo flight 45. We hope that you enjoy your flight. Right now, stewardess Godzilla is serving your favorite beverage. Wake up! There’s a literal person dressed as Godzilla, and so there are these dumb little gags where somebody complains and so he breathes fire on them. Oh my word, this

was a mess. Big gags. Right, and then it cuts

Craig: to Mandy, the tooth girl, playing with giant stuffed teeth. And then she has a scene where she brushes her teeth when- with an obscene amount of toothpaste on the toothbrush, which also- Which is just gross … it almost made me gag just- I know … watching it. And then a black glove grabs her through the medicine cabinet, and does he, like, drill through her mouth?

He’s got a drill. He’s got a drill, which was cool, and of course, like… And I thought, “Oh, this is actually getting serious,” ’cause this, this looks like it’s gonna be a very gruesome scene. The drill goes into her mouth and foam starts coming out of her mouth, like toothpaste. Like, I guess

Todd: Her mouth or throat are so full of toothpaste, or maybe just her body, that instead of bleeding she just exudes toothpaste foam 

Craig: I don’t know. 

Todd: Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what that gag… I liked it, actually. I thought it was kinda cool. 

Craig: It was one of the better parts i- in terms of the slasher spoof, it was one of the better parts.

But th- but then there’s a whole lot going on, like there’s a, a lover’s lane scene, and there’s prison scenes where the principal from Grease gets put into the gas chamber, and it’s just a chamber where some big fat guy who eats beans farts into it. Like- And then there’s a whole scene where they just sit around a table, these dumb kids sit around a table talking about who wants candy.

And it’s like, “Hey, Andy, do you want candy?” “No, thanks, Randy. Give Sandy my candy, Randy.” And it goes on- … for a good 45 seconds. 

Todd: Uh-huh. It’s not funny. It’s not funny. It 

Craig: went on for so long. 

Todd: Oh. 

Craig: And then, I don’t know, there’s a bunch going on. Like, both of the escapees, the convict, vict and the insane asylum patient both end up at the hospital, where we also find out that some doctor was in on all of this.

What all of this is, I don’t know. I have no idea what’s going on. 

Todd: He’s talking about turning people into furniture. What the hell? 

Craig: I don’t know. At one point they went to see somebody in the morgue, and they pulled out the slab and it was a coffee table, and they just acted like that was normal. I don’t know what was happening.

I 

Todd: have no idea what was going on here. One of the things that made me laugh out loud was Paul Reuben’s character. As they’re going through… And again, because we had no context for why this furniture was there or what they were talking about, we have no idea what’s going on. But they pass by, it’s almost like a tall jewelry chest or something.

Clip: Hey, Sarge, this is Trixie, the waitress at the Kit Kat Klub. You’re right, Johnson. I’d recognize those legs anywhere. She’s a fine woman.

Jump shot!

What are you doing?

Are 

Todd: you- I was trying to get your drawers. Even though I still had no idea what they were talking about- 

No … 

Todd: something about that delivery and that line made me laugh out loud. 

God. I don’t know. 

Todd: And this doctor’s like, “Every doctor has furniture. Not every doctor has patients. Now every doctor will have furniture and patients in one.”

What? 

Craig: I don’t know. 

Todd: What? Oh. I 

Craig: don’t know, but then all f- but then I have in my notes all three of them get electrocuted. 

Todd: Yeah, and they’re gone, but it has nothing to do with the slashing. Like, what’s going on? 

Craig: Right? Because then- What are they doing here? … then Bambi takes a bath in milk and cookies. Why? I don’t know.

Todd: Meanwhile, the killer… This is a clear Psycho reference. And again, I didn’t know if like… ‘Cause Hitchcock notoriously used chocolate milk as blood in the shower scene. I don’t know, I wondered if this had the genesis from that at least. But the killer, as she’s l- sitting there reading her magazine, he, like, stabs through the curtain, which she doesn’t notice.

He stabs into a carton of milk, she doesn’t notice. He stabs into the magazine she’s reading, she doesn’t seem to care or notice. He stabs everything but her, and eventually lifts her up and drowns her in this. But it’s like she has to save her cookie or something. 

Craig: Ugh. Wow. 

Todd: It’s so weird. 

Craig: I know. I honestly don’t remember because everything was so random.

Todd: It’s so random. 

Craig: I, I… She, but she’s dead, apparently. And then Sandy and Randy go to the sex ed room, which has a cover and a drink minimum. 

Todd: And a bed. 

Craig: And a bed. God, I don’t know. And then Candy, Carol Kane, finally has sex with the other guy, and likes it, sort of, she says. 

Todd: Ugh. I love, I love it when Randy leaves Carrie in there for a little while, or whatever her name was, ’cause he’s going to investigate, and, and she says, “Do you want me to come with you?”

And he says, “Sure, if we time it right.” 

Craig: Yeah, that was funny. 

Todd: That might’ve been the funniest line in the whole 

Craig: movie. That was funny, I will admit. Mm. And it’s funny because, like, I was barely paying attention, and the line happened, and it took me a second, and I was like, “Oh, that was funny.” 

Todd: Inspired. One inspired line in this entire hour and a half.

Oh. God, 

Craig: I don’t know. I don’t know. More of the… Somebody gets suffocated with a pom-pom, one of the guys. Mm-hmm. Sandy, the sexy brunette, gets stabbed with a megaphone. Is that what that was supposed- Yeah … to be? Like a giant cheerleading megaphone she gets stabbed with. And then we have, I guess, the homage scene where the final girl, Candy, runs around and finds all the bodies.

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: And I have in my notes she’s now pursued by the killer, who is now in a miniskirt. 

Todd: Yeah, with fingernails and- dress, and it turns out that the killer is the quarterback from the very beginning. I mean, it’s pointless. Like, we never saw this guy except in the first five minutes, and he’s like, “If I can’t be a cheerleader, n- nobody can.”

I don’t know if this is, like, supposed to be making fun of feminism or something like that. I don’t know, but, uh- I 

don’t know. 

Todd: Then his parents show up, Edie McClurg and whoever that other guy was, as ghosts taunting him or whatever, and then he gets freaked out and he runs out and she runs out into the football field, starts using her Carrie powers, and eventually pulls a statue of himself over him.

And Dick Smother- uh, suddenly Tom Smothers is there riding in, and they love each other. 

Craig: Yeah, they had a musical moment earlier, and they reprise that here. It’s like an old Hollywood… They’re not even really singing. Like, they just open their mouths and- 

Todd: Yeah … 

Craig: old school Hollywood voices come out. 

Todd: Lip syncing, yeah.

And then we pan up to the scoreboard and we get that typical for the time, that closing montage of credits where there’s a quick little scene from each person, and they put their names up on there. 

Craig: Did they even? I don’t… I didn’t even think they put their names up. I thought it was ju- Oh, no, they did.

They put their character names up, but they didn’t put their credit. Like, they didn’t put the actor’s name, which I thought was really strange. It’s just like, “Here’s Randy,” and a little Randy scene. Like, yeah, I know. I just watched this movie.

Todd: Oh, revisit the joys of the earlier hour- Yeah … and 29 minutes. God. Oh, man. I- you know, it was painful to get through because it was so cringey and I was so disappointed. Because it’s so disappointing to see so many good, wonderful comedic actors in something that just falls so completely flat. You can see what they’re trying to do.

You can see that they’re trying to parody some horror movies, and they got some scenes to parody it. Most of it was not that. Most of it was just weird byplay. And in a sense, this was a lot like, I think, Transylvania 6-5000. But I can’t recommend it- 

Craig: No … 

Todd: except as a really interesting time capsule if you were really bored and wanted to see some early work by some of the…

by Paul Reubens, for example. 

Craig: Yeah, but it’s not worth it just for that. I mean, like, like I said before, you, you might look at it and say, “Oh my gosh, Phil Hartman’s in this, and Carol Kane,” like these are some really great people and, and you might get excited- Mm-hmm … because you like those people, and then you will see this movie and you’ll be terribly, terribly disappointed.

Yeah, I, I, I can’t recommend it either. Like I said before, if you can somehow recreate the up all night experience, like if you’re 11- Mm-hmm … and you’re a boy and you’re having a sleepover and you’re not really gonna be paying attention to it and you’re just gonna be goofing on it, maybe. Maybe. I, I can’t think of another way that you could set it up for yourself to enjoy this.

I, I, I could be wrong. You know, to each their own. I, I don’t mean any offense to those of you who grew up with it and have a soft spot for it. But seeing it for the first time in 2026 It did not do it for me at all. 

Todd: Hard pass. Hard, hard pass. But it was fun to talk about. 

Craig: Yeah, sure. 

Todd: And thank you guys for listening as well, and if you have anything to say about this movie, as Craig said, drop us a line.

ChainsawHorror.com is our website. Just Google Two Guys and a Chainsaw Podcast and you’ll find us on social media. Drop us a line in any one of those places. Or if you, uh, would like to chat with us a little more directly, join our patrons at Patreon.com/ChainsawPodcast. We have complete unedited phone calls as soon as they’re made that, uh, include all the things that I cut out of these and, uh, s- for streamlining and all the personal stuff that we do.

All the stuff we’re trying to keep from the general public is wide open and available for you for just five bucks a month, along with some minisodes we’ve done in the past and some other things. We have a book club over there as well, where we’ll read horror books and, uh, talk about them via video chat a couple times a month.

If that interests you, join our Patreon, Patreon.com/ChainsawPodcast. Otherwise, just leave us a review somewhere. Let us know what you thought of this. Uh, we always like good reviews over at Apple Podcasts or on our webpage. You can, uh, send us a voice message by clicking Talk to Us and record a quick 90-second clip which automatically gets sent to us, and, uh, we will play it on the air.

And if we get requests through that, we usually bump those a little higher to the top. Until next time, I’m Todd. 

And I’m Craig. 

Todd: With Two Guys and a Chainsaw.