Curse II: The Bite (1989)

Episode 473, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: Well, this week we are going back into the eighties. Or is it the nineties? Gosh, it’s that. It’s one of those movies. 89? Yeah. 89. Okay. 1989 movie called Curse 2: The Bite, or sometimes simply known as The Bite, which was directed by Frederico Prosperity.

The only. Film that he has directed actually, I mean, it’s kind of well directed, honestly, and it’s well shot and it’s the second in a series of movies that does, I think what Silent Night, deadly Night kind of did, which is you take. This movie that did really, really well. And then you take another movie that has nothing to do with it and you just tack on a sequel title to it and try to write off the coattails of that.

And apparently it was successful for this movie. Uh, this was released straight to video in 89 and apparently did really well after Curse did well as well. And I think it led to two other sequels that are in the similar vein that have nothing to do with each other. Curse three right. And Curse four.

Which stars? Christopher Lee. I think personally we need to get to every movie in this series because it seems about as bad shit crazy as this one. Yeah. The first two are the only ones I’ve seen. Oh, you’ve always seen the first two. Okay. So you’d seen this before. I, I hadn’t, I hadn’t. What made you decide to do this?

Craig: Oh, well, it was silly. I hadn’t thought of this movie in years, but I was looking at bloody disgusting and the Anaconda reboot came out a week or two ago. And sometimes when movies come out, they’re like, here are some other snake movies that you could watch. Uh, and this was one of them. And I, I remembered it fondly without really remembering why I remembered it fondly.

One of the reasons is nostalgia. This is one of those movies that takes me back to riding bikes with my cousin, riding to the video store. Perusing the, the wall of of movies, and this was one that I think I, I don’t know if they were ever as excited. About horror movies as I was, I think they just indulged me, but whatever.

We had a good time. I, I really enjoyed the first one. The first one has Will Wheaton in it, uh, I think it was his first movie and it’s gross and, and body horror and, and fun and eighties, and I really liked it. So when I saw this one, I was excited to pick it up off the shelves. And honestly, I don’t remember.

How we [00:03:00] necessarily exactly responded to it at the time, but I imagine that we probably really dug it because Yeah, I’ll bet you did. It’s, I, it’s the kind of thing exactly we were looking for, you know, gross and cool effects and you know, pretty people, both of the main actors are very attractive and, and likable, which I think is one of the things that the movie has going for it the most.

Like, I really like the central characters. Hmm. I mean, it’s definitely a movie of its time. This is, like you said, uh, it’s a time capsule for me and I didn’t even watch it before. I don’t have the memories associated with you do, but what I do have is the memories associated with these eighties movies where it’s all jazz saxophone or synth score with the dark streets and smoke coming around, like there’s so much smoke and dark streets and rainy, wet streets in this.

Todd: That, uh, it did take me back. And of [00:04:00] course also what took me back is the cast. It’s just full of TV actors, which is very typical for low budget horror movies at this time. You know, this was back in the day, and we’ve talked about this before, but it’s back in the day when. There wasn’t much crossover between television actors or movie actors.

Once you chose one and got successful in one, you were typically kind of stuck in that medium, uh, and nobody really took you seriously if you tried to go from television to film. But a lot of TV actors would do some horror movies to try to get their film chops up and, and many ended up making successful crossovers, or at least popping into the film world every now and then.

For me, oh my god. Seeing, um, Jamie Farr in this was, uh, was hilarious because that guy is a staple of television and, and movies, I suppose. Yeah. But Jesus, Jamie Farr, I know, well, I mean, I even recognize the name, but he’s so recognizable both in face and voice. I was like, gosh, I [00:05:00] know, I know this guy. Where do I know him from?

Craig: And I pulled up his IMDB. I was like, oh, the eighties. Everywhere. Everything. He was on, everywhere. He was on every television show, like. He was just a, wasn’t Neil ready all over the place? I wanna say he was a regular Ash. Yeah. I, I, I, I might be wrong about that, but I’m pretty sure he was. That sounds right.

Todd: I saw him in person. He came to the, what’s that theater in Kansas City? Where the dinner theater, is it still around? Uh, I don’t know. Used, I’m not sure. I’ll be, there’s a dinner theater in Kansas City. I, I used to go to pretty regularly whenever I could drive in and get the chance, and they would always have some.

Headliner there in the show. That was some typically like a older actor who’s a little past their prime, but, uh, going out doing live theater and stuff and, and Jamie Farr was in, oh God, what was it? Whatever he was in, it was charming. ’cause this guy is kind of the same in everything he plays, but he’s just such a nice, charming [00:06:00] dude.

Mm-hmm. That I enjoy seeing him up there. And he’s got this. Crazy, incredible voice too. Anyway, I, I really liked seeing him in this, even if, even if it felt just a little bit incongruent. He, he really, I think, provided the humor for the film, but it’s such a weird plot. It’s so bizarre, and when you break it on down, it’s really just about a guy and his struggles with his snake hand and the woman who loves him.

Yeah. You know, oh, it’s funny. I, uh, I’m, I’m not getting the impression that you were particularly impressed as I was watching it. I was like, oh, man, I thought it was super fun. Like, I, I don’t know. There was, there was a lot going on that I really like. It was fun for me. No, don’t get me wrong, it was really, really fun.

But I did kind of remark at how not a lot is happening. There’s a lot going on, but. It’s all kind of like, same samie, right? Once this guy gets bitten, right. And he’s got a snake arm, it’s really just they’re traveling across the country and this guy’s going [00:07:00] after them. And that’s it, you know, until the very end.

Craig: Yeah. I, uh, I can see that it, it drags a little bit in the middle, but I don’t know. I just really like the premise, uh, like you said, the, the curse movies. They have really nothing in common other than the title, except for both this movie and the first one, our body horror movies and, and good. Like, this is great.

Eighties effects. Yes. Done by screaming Mad George, who you know, did I think Predator and what else is he, I mean he did, he’s done a bazillion things society. Don’t forget society. Yeah. The peak. He, he did the, uh, cockroach motel kill scene in, uh, dream, not Dream more. Yeah. No, not Dream Warriors, whatever.

Four part Four. Four. Yeah. Part four. Dream Master. Uh, yeah, dream Master Memory Home Street, which is one of my favorite kills in that whole franchise. But yeah, he’s done tons of stuff and it’s all practical. And does it all look [00:08:00] amazing? No, some of it actually looks kind of corny, but it’s just really fun to see and, and to watch.

And you know, the setup is pretty simple. We open. With a very vague shot of the desert and it says Yellow sands, nuclear base, Arizona, and guys in hazmat suit, catch a snake. That’s it. Yeah. That’s maybe all we’re given. That’s your explanation. Yeah, that’s, yeah. So I don’t know, scientists were messing with snakes and now we’re gonna have a snake problem.

Todd: Do you think there’s some implication that there is like some kind of like nuclear testing or something going on? Yeah. I mean guess. Yeah, I think so. I just figured, I do think so. Yeah. Uh, you know, ’cause later some guy says like, they poison the ground, they poison the water. That, that sounds like maybe nuclear testing.

Craig: I don’t know. It’s a handy catch. Yeah. We’re immediately introduced to this really attractive young couple Clark, who’s played by a guy named Jay Eddie Peck, who’s very handsome. Really [00:09:00] nice. Backside on that one, but I think that he is still on daytime soap that he’s been on for a while, if I remember correctly.

But he was doing other stuff around this time. I think he’s been on the Young and the Restless since like the mid nineties and he’s still going. But then there was also all my Children and Days of Our Lives very long runs on those. Was that around the time you stopped watching? I don’t know. I don’t know.

I didn’t remember him from Days of Our Lives, but I didn’t explore it. At length, so Okay. Maybe if I had my memory refreshed. I don’t know. But anyway. And his girlfriend is, and I say girlfriend, you find out later that they really haven’t been together very long. Yeah. That surprised me when she said that.

Todd: I was like, what you guys, you guys seem like you were really, really settled and into each other. And then she’s like, you barely know me. I was like, what? Right. We’ve only been together two weeks, like. Wow. I mean, they really settled in fast. They sure did, but she’s played by Jill Soland, who had a moment [00:10:00] here in the late eighties.

Craig: The thing that I remember her from and that we’ve done is popcorn. In which she was the lead, but she’s done some other stuff too. She’s very pretty and she has a very distinctive husky voice, which is sexy. She sings at some point in this, in the movie, and I was surprised to find that she actually has a really pleasant singing voice.

But I just thought, not that the acting was amazing, but I just felt that these two leads had a chemistry and, and such comfort together. That I, I, I believed them and I liked them and I was glad that we were gonna be with them for a while. They did feel real. One of the things that this movie really has going for it is the quality of the acting.

Todd: I mean, we’ve seen a lot of cheesy stuff and, and weird straight to video stuff, and I think this movie at least, is well acted. Everybody, almost everybody involved, even if some of the characters are kind of caricatures and [00:11:00] and silly. These two had a dynamic. I think you’re right. That worked and that made sense and felt believable.

I was just shocked that she stayed with him for so long and she only knew this guy for two weeks. Like, yeah, she’s dedicated. She had to be really, uh, the sex must have been really good. Well, it was hot to watch. I mean, whatever you could see of it, it was all in darkness. Again. True. Typical eighties silhouette, darkness.

And it wasn’t. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like silhouette it against like a blue screen. Yeah. It’s great. With the saxophone playing. Yeah. And you say that some of the characters are really, you know, like caricatures and they’re driving through the desert and they stop at a gas station where the gas station dentist is like, she sure do.

Craig: Got a pretty mouth. Oh god. I thought it was great that this movie basically opens with the gas station scene. I mean, they’re getting right into it. Yes. I [00:12:00] knew you would at least appreciate that with the gas station guys. I sure wouldn’t go that away if I were you. And he gets in the car and he is like, we’re going that way.

Yeah, we’re going, I don’t know what’s wrong with that guy. I’m taking this shortcut. Yeah. So they take it anyway. And then you get the title sequence where you see that there are snakes everywhere in this jungle. Snakes in the, or the jungle. The desert. Desert. So that’s in the snakes in the sand, snakes in the fences, snakes all over the highway, just snakes everywhere.

Todd: Yeah, this, uh, this place got infested with snakes. I guess the army didn’t do such a good job of picking ’em up, but yeah. And, and then they run over a bunch of snakes and they, there must be snakes for miles because how long the scene stretches on, where it’s showing them running over piles and piles of snakes in the highway, and then they’re just like, looking down, oh my God, oh my god.

Will this ever end? This was my, wow. This was probably my favorite [00:13:00] part. Right before that, they had stopped and she had almost gotten bit by a snake, but he shot it and we see snake, POV as snake crawling into their car. So we know that there’s a car in there, or excuse me, a car’s, there’s a snake in the.

Craig: There’s a snake in the car with them now, and then there’s that nest of snakes that covers the road. I didn’t watch the credits closely, and I don’t recall reading anything in the trivia about how they shot this scene. It sure looked like real snakes. Yeah, I mean, it did. I don’t think so. I think they’re rubber snakes a a lot.

Todd: They were flying up in the air. I, I sort of feel like if you were rule riding over real snakes in this, that they would more or less just kind of squish and maybe, I don’t know. They were, they were bouncing around an awful lot to be, to be real snakes, I think. But you’re right, it looked real. And I asked myself the exact same thing because sometimes these Italian productions, you know, they were not, uh, yeah.

Too kind to the [00:14:00] animals. And the scene of them running them over probably doesn’t take more than 10, 15 seconds. I don’t know, but. I was watching it on YouTube, and I guess by default the subtitles were on and I didn’t turn them off, but they weren’t like the official subtitles. They were like the YouTube subtitles.

Oh. And when they start running them over and the snakes are spraying everywhere and blood spraying everywhere, he says, my God, what is that? And she screams his name twice. Clark. Clark. But the subtitles were, my God, what is that? Pork pork

Craig: and I laughed for a solid minutes, like all these snakes flying around. Pork. Pork, it’s hilarious. Uh, looks really good. Yeah. Well, I, I do wonder if they shot, there’s a, there’s a scene a little bit later where a snake gets shot and it sure looks like. They probably just shot a snake, although who knows, you know, screaming Mad.

Todd: George could do some pretty good effects. [00:15:00] As we will see later. They end up at a gas station. It looks kind of abandoned, but then there’s a dude inside who sticks a rifle through the door. Again, it, we get two gas station scenes. Now this one reminded me a little bit of the hills have eyes. You remember there’s that Yes.

One gas station out? Yes. In the middle of the desert that’s su surrounded by danger and why this guy is still out there. We don’t know. Right, but there he is. And maybe because he is a little crazy, he’s complaining about underground nuclear testing. A snake bite killed his dog. Did that actually happen or did I just have in my notes that he’s talking?

Craig: No, it did he? Yeah. He says Clarks, he’s a picture of a dog and he says, nice looking dog. And he’s like, yeah, she was. He’s like, what happened to her snake bite. Okay, that makes sense now. Yeah, and I don’t know, he, you know, talks, like you said, he talks about like the effects of the nuclear testing or whatever and like the snake watches Lisa put on some pants.

That was [00:16:00] funny. Yeah. Pervy snake. POVI think that’s hilarious. I also love, we’ve got this other thing that you often see in these movies where on his way to the bathroom. Clark ends up exploring a barn. It’s the Goonies. No, it’s not a barn. Like he’s going down, I don’t know, it’s inside the station or something, but he has to go through these like dark corridors or whatever, and he hears a strange noise off to the side.

It looks like a barn because the whole, suddenly the underground is a whole bunch of boarded walls with light streaming through them. I swear that was a bar. I mean, it must have been shot in a bar. Couldn’t have been under. Yeah, I don’t, I don’t know. I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s the gas station he goes in, so I don’t know if it’s Oh, okay.

Like some kind of shop or whatever. Yeah. So he hears, he’s on his way to the bathroom, but he hears a weird noise and he looks, but the attendant catches him and kicks him out before he can see what’s going on. But it sounds like a dog whimpering. Right. Which confuses him because he thought the dog was dead.

And he is like, [00:17:00] I thought you said your dog was dead. And the guy’s, like I said, a lot of things and then kicks him out. Kicks him out and then, uh, later the attendant, we see him trying to coax this thing out, this dog from under the table. And he gets attacked. And it’s interesting filming. I mean, I think it was great.

Todd: Sometimes these low budget movies try not to show their hand too early ’cause they don’t wanna either. Maybe they don’t have such great special effects or they wanna save the monster for later. But we get to see little bits and pieces of the monster throughout this. And, uh, this was kind of an interesting mix of slow-mo closeup shots, puppetry.

It, it looks like this weird half snake head with fangs that, uh. You get the gist of it and bites him in the head. Yeah. You get more or less the gist, but you do get to see a bit of it. Mm-hmm. You know, but it looks like, it’s like the thing, you know, it, it’s kinda a formless mass with recognizable parts, you know, and I Right.

I like that. And it bites his head and it’s all in silhouette. But, uh, [00:18:00] that was pretty brutal. Then we click back to Clark and Lisa and their trip across the country, by the way. Yeah. Do we know where they’re going? I think they’re just road tripping. Like I, I think that they’re just planning on stopping and going to bars and dancing and stuff and having a good time.

Craig: Really? I, I guess so. I don’t know. They, they never mention a destination that I can recall. But you’re, you, you’re right. They stop at this motel and there’s, you know, people out and about at the motel or whatever, and she reaches into the car to like get the birds. She has these. Birds in a cage. Yeah. And I don’t know, something, something spooks her or, or the, the birds are spooked or something.

And so Clark’s like, hold on a second, get back. And he reaches in there and he gets bit presumably by a snake and all of these people who are outside, run around trying to help. And one of the little girls, I think her name’s Heather, is like, there it is. I see it. It’s slithering away. And Lisa’s like, are you sure?

And the mom’s like, [00:19:00] if my Heather said it, it’s true. Stupid. So stupid. Yep. And, and there’s this, there’s this other guy, Harry Jamie Farr, who appear, you know, he’s just staying at the motel, but he presents himself and I have in my notes, Harry is a doctor and he tells them not to worry. You know, he, he takes a look at the.

Bite. And he is like, oh, that’s just a, uh, chicken snake bite. It’s not a big deal. If I give you this antidote, you’ll be fine. And they’re like, okay. So he gives the antidote and then Clark’s like, thanks, doc. And he’s like, oh, I’m not a doctor. Yeah. What, what was he anyway, that was somebody, I have no idea.

Todd: He’s just the businessman. Yeah, the random businessman. Yeah. He’s some kind of tr. Traveling businessman. He, he knows the roads, he knows the truckers on the roads, and they all know him. I don’t know what his business is, but it’s never clear guy. Can you imagine, [00:20:00] can you imagine somebody like offering you medical aid and like administering from his suitcase an injection, right?

Craig: Thanks doctor. And they’re, oh no, I’m not a doctor. Like, what’s, what are you doing? Why do you have. Anti-venom and syringes in your suitcase? I guess just be prepared or whatever, I guess. Yeah. That, that is pretty funny. There’s another dude with him. Oh right. He’s the hotel manager. He. He literally says, and I’m the hotel manager.

Todd: I’m Luke I checking you in or something. And that’s another one of our, uh, very famous actors, Sidney Lasik, who, I mean, one flew over a Cuckoo’s nest, his character in that, the kind of neurotic, weird dude. He, he, again, the, the character he plays in almost every movie that he’s in. And he’s been in a lot like Carrie and I mean, you see him and immediately you’re like, oh, that guy.

Craig: Oh yeah, yeah. He’s been everywhere. Lady in white, he was in that, and I was surprised to see the two of them together in this scene. [00:21:00] And then Sidney Lasek, I don’t. Think he really ever comes back. You know, I don’t know the trajectory of these guys’ careers. I’m guessing Jamie Farr was nearing the twilight of his, uh, television career, maybe nearing it, but he was still kind of in the thick of it at that point.

Todd: I think still late eighties. Yeah. I honestly was just kind of surprised to see them both in this scene and though neither of them I would consider a-list actors. I thought that their presence and their presence together. Lended a legitimacy to the movie that I didn’t expect. Oh, it sure did. Yeah, yeah. No, I, I know what you’re saying.

I thought the same thing. I was like, these two guys are in this movie. This is a bigger thing than I thought, but for a direct to, but you know, you’re right. Neither of them are a-list. They’re just like really re working actors, really recognizable and very working and very well respected, so. Right. Right.

Craig: And you’ll definitely, if you know, if, if you’re anywhere near our age, anywhere near, you will a hundred percent recognize both of these guys. [00:22:00] And then there’s the sex scene in the hotel, which I really thought was sexy. Like I, I, I don’t know if I was in some kind of mood or something, but I was just, was like, God, they are, they are both so hot and like, they’re so hot together.

And like, yeah, but oof. I like it. It’s like, it’s like 10 seconds long and then it ends abruptly. It was so jarring. How I almost felt like it had been cut. Maybe it was, I don’t know. Yeah, I think it might have been, but uh, yeah, I mean, it’s, it’s going, it’s like, oh, this is kind of cool. And then boom, she’s in the shower and there’s more snake POV in the motel room, like, well, that was quick.

Yes. I, this was my favorite snake. POV. It took me a second, just a second, but a second to realize that it was crawling out of the guitar. It had been in the guitar this whole time. Realize. Yeah, and it, it slithers onto the bed and something that I don’t quite understand. There’s a big slime motif in the movie.

Yes. That I’m not, I don’t really get, like, [00:23:00] the way that she first is alerted that something is awry is she picks up her panties and they are covered in slime, and then she sees the snake slithering around under the sheets and she destroys her guitar. Killing it, which I couldn’t believe she did that. I was like, yeah, yeah, there’s something else.

That’s an expensive guitar. Right. But I have in my notes, it puts up a fight. But then she, you know, when Clark comes back, he’s like, it must’ve been in the guitar case the whole time. And I just put in my notes that little bitch Heather was a liar.

She’s got her mom snowed. I think it’s interesting that Harry. Jamie Farr’s character knows so much about snake. Yeah. He, he must sell that venom or something. That must be, that’s gotta be it. Maybe because he knows a lot about snake. He knows a lot about snakes. He knows a lot about venom and, uh, he immediately comes in, I think, oh, because the maid.

Todd: So I, the, the couple leaves. And they [00:24:00] just leave the, the bloody snake there and the maid comes running out screaming. And, uh, that brings the two of them back in. Jamie and, and his buddy. And he looks at and immediately gives us the whole spiel that movies do. Oh, this isn’t that, this isn’t the snake. I thought it was.

This is a bush master snake. They’re mutant snakes and this, this is terrible. If, if that kid doesn’t get the right antidote, he’s gonna die. I need to go find him as though altruism isn’t enough. You know, he’s getting threatened apparently, or he gets this notion put in his head by another friend that if he doesn’t find this kid and give him the right venom and get him to sign a some kind of agreement that he’s not gonna sue him.

Then he’s gonna lose, uh, his license, his license to do what? I don’t know, but, uh, he’s gonna lose everything. ’cause he is gonna get sued. Yeah. So, yeah, he’s not a doctor, but he’s afraid of losing some license. Anyway, the guy, his friend George Sidney Lasek is like, but you didn’t do anything wrong. You tried to help.

Craig: You gave him that antidote. And he’s like, oh [00:25:00] yeah, there were whit. This is when I gave that antidote. So he calls his lawyer and his lawyer says, you’re gonna be charged with, uh, administering medications without a medical license. And especially if he dies, you’re gonna be completely liable for his death.

And I think that’s legit. Like he’s probably right. Yeah, you’re probably right. You shouldn’t be, you, especially, you know, any medication, but especially intravenous anodes or whatever. It’s, it’d be one thing if you just gave him a pill. It’s another thing when you like injected him with stuff that’s a whole other, right, right.

Todd: Yeah. Yeah. But so he’s in pursuit and he remains in pursuit. This is also kind of a weird road movie. Yeah. So they’re on the road, he’s in pursuit. He is looking for them. He’s like calling all his trucker friends. His trucker friends are keeping an eye out, whatever. You can’t gloss over this scene about his trucker friends.

This is a another little time capsule. There was this period of time between the seventies and the eighties, uh, where everybody was like interested in this trucker, [00:26:00] the life of truckers and how they’re on their CBS all the time and chattering back and forth. And I think I talked about this on an earlier episode that that song Convoy came out and there was even a movie about, it was Kris Kristofferson.

And I mean, every now and then when you’re in a movie from the eighties, you see this whole trucker thing coming up and I’m like, oh, this is cute and fun. And I remember this. And you know, when we went on road trips, my, my family did not stay in hotels. We, we were in a camper that we drove around and we would drive for a whole day or two just to get to where we were going.

We never got to take an airplane or anything like that. And my dad had a CB in the car. He had a CB in there just in case there was anything. Wrong. Like it was mostly for emergencies. Sure. But sometimes he would kick it on and we would listen in on their chatter. That seems risky. Yeah, right. With young kids in the car.

Yeah. And he would also do like fuzz checks, which is what they called them, the police or the fuzz. And uh, you know, he could just get on there and my dad would do it. He is like, watch this. They’d be like, yeah, [00:27:00] I’m heading east on 70, just past the such and such mile mark. Just doing a fuzz check. And then people would get on and be like, oh, you’re all clear, or No, I saw a cop at such and such mile marker.

I saw a cop and I just thought, man, these guys, they’re all in it together and they’re all moving in different directions and how they’re able to like do this coordination and even think to remember certain things in case anybody else asks about it. It’s like an early version of the internet kind of.

It was so cool. It was really cool and, and these characters are very stereotypical and one of them is Flo and it’s clear that he and Flo have had interactions because they do a little bit of flirting over the cb and this is where the movie changes tone a little bit. And that surprised me that suddenly we’re in this whole comic.

Scene with him flirting with Flo and the other guys teasing them and these very caricature characters with like big beards and no teeth or you know, this kind of bigger woman who’s like coming onto this [00:28:00] guy and them all laughing and stuff. It was, it was an interesting change in tone from the rest of it.

Craig: Yeah, I get what you’re saying and I don’t, I, I mean, I a hundred percent agree. It definitely, they are definitely going for some humor here. But it didn’t feel out of place. Like I didn’t find it jarring. Not really. I don’t know. But then this is immediately followed by this extremely stylish sequence of going into this cowboy bar.

Todd: I mean, with this moving camera and the Well, right. Right. Before that, I don’t, I don’t even remember what the context of their conversation was, but we see a conversation right before they go to this bar where she says something and he’s like, oh no, I. Kill myself before I’d ever harm a hair on your head or something like that.

Craig: Oh, yeah. It’s a very pointed talk about jealousy based on something she’s reading. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And then they go to this bar. Now I, I don’t remember this exactly. And, and you can talk about, you know, the cinematography, what it looked like. I was just more intrigued by the relationship dynamic [00:29:00] because.

He has not been feeling great and he’s not really looking great. I mean, he’s been bit by a snake. These are things that you could probably anticipate and should probably call for more alarm. The fact they didn’t want to go to a hospital and they just thought this antidote was gonna do its thing while he’s still not doing well.

Todd: It was kind of silly. Yeah, and he’s getting worse. I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s. It’s slow at first, but it’s progressive. But as they’re pulling into the city, she’s like, ah, come on. The music’s gonna be jumping. And he’s like, no, I really don’t feel good. I just wanna go to the hotel and go to sleep. She’s like, ah, come on.

Craig: And he says, okay. Yeah. And then they go in there and they’re sitting at the bar and they’re drinking. And some guy in a bold move. Comes up and asks her to dance. Now, I wouldn’t say that he was rude or inappropriate, I would just say that it was bold. Yeah. You know, they’re clearly there together to come up and ask a woman who’s clearly there with another man to dance, I don’t think is inappropriate, [00:30:00] but you, you might get punched.

I don’t know, whatever. Yeah. And she says yes, which I also don’t think is at all inappropriate. Like I think that’s fine. You can dance with other people. That’s not a problem. The way they dance, I would’ve gotten jealous. Uhhuh. Yeah, he’s definitely putting the moves on her right in front of this other guy.

Todd: Now, to be fair, the other guy I don’t think is even facing them the whole time because he, he, no, I don’t think so either. But still, you’re right. You wouldn’t do that. He is feeling really, really bad. And at one point. He taps a fly into his beer. There’s like a fly walking around the edge of his beer and he taps the, the beer and it, and it falls into the liquid and he drinks it like very deliberately.

So we see something weird is up with him and I dunno, you’ve watched enough horror movies, you know exactly what’s been going on, but. He brings the girl back and she comes over all smiling and he wheels around and slaps her and calls her a bitch and goes Stumbling off to the bathroom. Yeah, and, and he goes stumbling off to the bathroom.

Craig: This was something that struck [00:31:00] me as being very a product of the time because. I can’t imagine something like that happening in public and there not being immediate response from the other people around. Right? Oh, she flies across the room, into the table and like sprawls across the pool table. And there there’re in a crowded bar, like there are people all around who witness this happen, and nobody does.

I mean, they stand there and look in shock, but they don’t do or say anything. Yeah, that was weird to me. But yeah, he goes into the bathroom and his hand is looking all gross. And the guy that she was dancing with comes in and is like, you better come outta there. I I’ll smack you around. You like smacking women or whatever.

Clark is literally like curled up on the floor by the toilet. He’s shaking, he’s sweaty. He looks awful. Yeah. And, and the guy comes and Craig, was that a glory hole in front of him? There was a hole in the wall. Did you not notice that? I may not have [00:32:00] noticed there was, but if there was, if there was, then yes, it was, let’s just call it that.

Todd: I was a little surprised at how this giant packed bar. Had a men’s room that was completely devoid of any human except for him. I, I just thought it was crazy. But anyway, they needed to get him alone with this dude. And you’re right, this guy comes in and is, uh, is, is angry, and he sees Clark cowering in the toilet and.

Then it doesn’t, it doesn’t go well for him. Well, he puts his cigarette out on his bandaged hand, but I don’t even really remember. Do we even really see what happens? No, we really don’t see what happens. We just hear like this screaming and stuff back. Back at the, yeah. Yeah. They’re back at the hotel.

Immediately after this, he flies out of the bathroom and grabs her and gets her out of there. So something happened in the bathroom that he’s trying to get away from. Right. Right. You’re right. You, we, you’re right. We don’t see anything there. And then, so now she’s [00:33:00] mad and this is when we learned back at the hotel that she really doesn’t know him very well.

It’s like, you think you own me? You don’t even know me. We’ve only been together for two weeks. It’s like, oh my God. I was really shocked by that. And then we cut over to Harry and Flo, who are waking up, and I think they ended up hooking up in her, in her, uh, semi. And they have a little chat and Harry’s upset that he gave the wrong antidote and all that stuff.

And. I don’t know. There’s not, well, there really wasn’t much point to that scene except it just kind of brings flow into all of it, doesn’t it? Yeah. Yeah. The, the night before, like when they were fighting, she says the next day that she’s gonna leave. Oh, right. She just wants him to drop him off somewhere.

Craig: And, and he storms out. She finds him sleeping outside in the morning and they get in the car together and it, and, and it just so happens that Harry and Flo are at the same truck stop as the motel that the young couple is staying at. And he sees, I. I hate this stuff. I hate this when it’s like this huge coincidence.

Todd: They happen to be at the same place, right where they were [00:34:00] looking for him. He happens to walk out of the the truck at the same moment that she’s storming out and they’re driving off. I mean, come on. I know it’s, it’s very much a movie Contrivance, but, and now, but anyway, yeah, you’re right. That happens and it’s a little comical, supposedly because now.

Harry runs out with his, pulling all his pants up and his clothes half off into the street as he’s trying to chase down the Jeep. As it drives away, flows like, ah, Harry ha. Yeah. Right? And, and so he saw, he sees them and he calls his friends and say, because he gets the license plate number now, he has their license plate number at least, and then we’re with a young couple and she’s like, maybe I’ll just catch a bus and go somewhere.

Craig: And he’s quiet until he just. Reaches his snake hand over between her leg and starts playing with her while she’s driving and she’s really into it. And I still don’t know what to [00:35:00] make of this scene. Like I know what is happening. First of all, even if we didn’t know that this is like. I mean, it’s not a full snake hand, but it’s something weird and it’s disgusting.

Even if we didn’t know that, like she should know. Oh, just no, but, but she’s, she’s into it enough that they pull over in a barn, and I guess she’s pretty much okay with him now, except for they go to get back in the car and they’re driving away and she looks back and she’s like, where’s my birds? He’s like, I let him go and she reaches back into the cage and finds more of that weird goo.

Todd: Yep. She thinks the snake is in there with them, but at that exact moment they get pulled over by a cop. Yeah. Was he swerving or something? I was trying to sort out why he got pulled over. I think he was speeding. I think he was speeding. Okay. And then And the cop. Okay. So then they’re pulled over by these two cops and the sheriff [00:36:00] who’s got his nose bandaged for that was a nice, that was kind of an interesting touch.

He’s played by Boose Vincent, and we’ve seen him before. He was in Primal, he was the Mad Doctor in Primal Rage, just the same year that this came out. Oh, that’s funny. He did look familiar to me. Oh yeah. He was always playing these characters in these movies. You know, he was in Kill Bill and in Glorious Bastards.

He’s got a resume a mile long and it’s always, he’s the tough sheriff or he’s the tough army guy, or he is the drill sergeant or something like that. He was all over television and movies, mostly in the seventies and eighties and coming up into now, I mean he even, his last thing was. On TV in 2024. So it’s got a long career.

But, uh, he was good. I liked his performance in this too. I, I think it came across as genuine and I was actually a little surprised at how well this scene came off because it escalates and I think a very real way, taking into account that this sheriff is just kind of a dick. He [00:37:00] thinks that he’s on drugs.

He wants to see under the bandage. Clark refuses to take the bandage off. She’s like, why don’t you just take the bandage off for him? And he is like, no. So then he like tries to get him out of the car and then gets him to open up the back and all this stuff. Eventually he is just like, yeah, this is drugs and if you’re not gonna cooperate with me, I’m gonna take you away.

So he, he cuffs him and he’s gonna take him away given the fact that this guy’s maybe a little too dickish. Now we know that’s not, well, we know that that’s just not uncommon. But I thought the scene unfolded pretty realistically how, you know, he thinks this guy’s on drugs. Basically. He’s asking to see his bandage.

I’m not sure why. Maybe he thinks that like he was shooting himself up there or something. He’s gonna see track marks. I have no idea. She’s like, show him the bandage. He’s like, no. And so, you know, they go back and he wants to see in the trunk and he finds a rifle and he confiscates the rifle and basically he’s just got enough probable cause to take him to the station.

So he cuffs him up, I guess. I guess. I mean, he’s being an asshole, but True. What, I guess what I’m [00:38:00] trying to say is I’ve seen movies where this is just handled really sloppily. Like they gotta get the the main guy to the police station for something. Yeah. He used to have a cop for some dumb reason and pulls him over and for some dumb reason, takes him away.

This I felt was at least. It was a scene and it felt real. Yeah, I, yeah, I’ve certainly seen far more egregious infractions by law enforcement. Anyway. Take his gun. They, yeah. Okay. So they leave her there, but she doesn’t have the keys to the car. He, so Clark is in the back, so Clark is in the back of the cop car and he’s sick and he’s getting progressively sicker.

Craig: Now at this point, I would understand why they would think that he was. Either on narcotics or in withdrawal ’cause. ’cause that is kinda what it looks like at this point. The sheriff gets out to take a pee on the side of the road and the deputy, for reasons that I don’t understand, goes back to the back seat and takes Clark’s handcuffs off.

I don’t know why [00:39:00] I, I guess just because I have no idea. Clark was sick and I think at this point he was kind of seizing and like foam was coming out of his mouth. So I don’t know. Maybe he was being merciful, but it’s a mistake because Clark’s now. Pretty much obvious snake arm shoots out and goes down the guy’s throat and pulls out his still beating heart.

Yeah. Was that what that was? That wasn’t just like his tongue and stuff. I thought it was his, I thought it was his heart and that it was still beating, which is kinda silly, but I liked it. I think you’re right. I think that’s what it was. It was silly, but uh, it was gross and it was kind of cool and over the top.

Todd: And I don’t mind that at all. Not in this movie. Yeah. And then I think the, the, um, sheriff walks back to the car, but we don’t see what happens. I, I just assume that Clark killed him, but he didn’t. ’cause he comes back later. So I am not really sure. Clark snuck [00:40:00] away before the sheriff got back or what happened, but he walks back to where Lisa is and she’s still there.

Craig: Yeah. Well, I mean, where’s she gonna go? She’s asleep. Yeah, she’s asleep in the car. It’s now early morning. He’s in really bad shape, but he still doesn’t wanna go to the hospital, but she takes him anyway to, to another hospital that doesn’t believe in turning the lights on. And, and to another hospital where the only person that he deals with is a sexy lady doctor, who is apparently the only one who is attending to him.

Todd: And he’s the only one who needs attending to Well, and like she’s kind to him and, and she tries to calm him. And she says she’s gonna give him a sedative. And she does. And then she takes off the bandages, which by the, where did he get those bandages? Like I know right. He, the last we thing we saw, he wrapped his hands in toilet paper at the bar.

Craig: Anyway, she cuts off his professionally bandaged bandages and it’s [00:41:00] disgusting and it looks like gangrene, but it also looks like his fingers are fusing together. Yes. Meanwhile, at the same time, Harry shows up at the hospital and then we get her the, the lady doctor. Dictating into a tape recorder. Her scientific findings?

Yes. And they didn’t even write them down because it was so scientific, and I’m like, that sounds legit, but I don’t know. Within minutes, this woman has figured out everything that’s going on down to the DNA level. There was some neurotoxin from the snake bite that allowed the patient’s T-cells to accept foreign DNA, which then infected him and started replicating and it suppressed the, the rejection of the body.

Todd: I’m like, you’ve seen this guy for maybe 10 minutes and you heard from his girlfriend, he had a snake bite and you took a look at his hand. What did you possibly do? What kind of lab do you have there that you were able to figure all this shit out and, and you’re just a [00:42:00] doctor. I don’t even think she’s drawn blood at this time.

Well, like you’re just a doctor. You’re not like a scientist, like a DNA specialist or some shit. I don’t know. And it looks like they have taken. X-rays of his hand and it looks like a snake. I don’t get it. It’s like his whole arm’s a snake. It’s like his arm has the snake backbone and everything. She does mention, I don’t know if you caught it, and I have no idea how she would know this, but she says that an antidote had been administered but had had no effect, either positive or negative.

Craig: So what Harry did. Had no impact on what is happening. This would’ve happened regardless. But Harry doesn’t know that anyway. The doctor tries to take a blood sample, but an eye opens on the snake hand. How does she not see that? I know, right? So weird. A freaking eye opens and is [00:43:00] looking all around. It’s a cool eye too.

Yeah. It, it, it, I like all these effects. They’re practical and they’re slimy and, you know, it’s a lot of close up so you don’t, you know, see a big picture, but it’s, it’s yucky and, uh, I don’t really like it. And she does, she takes a blood sample, but it’s like, then she like is pushing out the air or whatever, and like a little bit of liquid comes out of the top and it’s clear.

I don’t even understand what’s happening at this point. But the, uh, the snake hand attacks her and rips the bottom part of her face off. Yeah, it’s another mouth attack. You know, it’s a little. I Maybe also it, yeah, it’s just a little phallic, all this that’s kind of happening. I thought it lingered awful long on this big thing.

Todd: Sticking out of her mouth as she’s, yeah. Anyway, I. It does rip her, her jaw off. And the snake also makes weird noises, by the way, just because we haven’t mentioned it yet. It’s kind of funny. Clark gets angry and he, and he tries to stab it. I, I think he is this, when he [00:44:00] goes off to a bathroom, he cuts it off.

Yeah, he ends up cutting it off. And that was awesome. That was really awesome actually. The cutoff, the cutoff bit again, just the effects were really fun. When that snake head flops into a sink and we just see it opening and closing and the tongue sticking out and all that stuff, so you would almost think that this has been fixed because he cut the head off the snake.

Like a hydra. It comes back even worse. Harry, by the way, has come into the hospital now and he, before Clark cuts this off and before he runs out to do that, Harry Confronts Clark initially very happily, oh yeah, I’m, I’m here. Can I get you to sign this form and I’m gonna give you the right antidote and all that stuff.

And then when he almost trips over the nurse’s body, he kind of freaks out and we get a POV shot, I think from Harry’s perspective. I mean from Clark’s perspective, as Harry’s backing up and trying to talk his way out of this, and again, just like this sort of comical scene and I thought that Harry bit it me too.

He collapses and he kind of makes a [00:45:00] moaning sound and then it cuts away to Clark as he, as he goes into another bathroom and cuts his handle. Well, he hasn’t done that yet. He, he leaves the hospital first and gets chased down by. His girlfriend, who again is left without a vehicle and then he goes to the gas station and he cuts his hand off like it tries to fight back, but he’s able to chop it off and Lisa shows up with that jerk cop, like I guess they’re kind of working together now.

Craig: Your friends again? Yeah. And then some weird, okay, so Clark. Sees them there, so he knows that they’re after him and he sneaks into a pickup truck and the cab of a pickup truck and some weird Swedish. Yeah, I thought Amish for second. Yeah. I don’t know that I, and maybe Amish, I don’t know. They talk like this.

Todd: I dig. It’s Swedish and he gets in the car and he’s like, he’s like, it’s not for me to ask what you did wrong. It’s just for [00:46:00] me to offer help. So I offer my help, and he drives him out of there. Lisa sees but doesn’t say anything. So she clearly doesn’t find, she doesn’t trust the cop either, but she’s, you know, she’s concerned and she’s trying to find him too.

Craig: Again, why they’ve only known people for two or known each other for two weeks. Let it go, sister. Cut your losses. Yeah, let the police deal with this. Things have gotten weird enough. It’s, it’s time to go find another guy who doesn’t have a snake arm. And how she manages to track him down. I have no idea. I have no idea.

She drives around in the rain until she just finds the house that he’s at. It makes no sense. This couple man, they’re, they’ve got a little daughter. Everything is just so, it’s just so like traditional. This was the most bizarre scene of the movie to me. Yeah. Like it was really weird where all of a sudden thrown into this very strange.

Dynamic where they’ve taken in this guy and she’s like, I wanna see him. I need to take him to the hospital. And they’re like, [00:47:00] no, we don’t believe in the hospital. God will heal him. And like, what? Like what are you talking about? This is insane. And the little girl is like, I wanna see his hand. Okay. Yep. She goes upstairs and talks to him and he says, it’s okay now.

’cause I cut it off. I, I didn’t have any control of it. And she’s like, it’s okay. It wasn’t you who did all the these things. It’s not your fault. We’ll go to the cops, we’ll explain. They’ll understand. Okay. Sure. That sounds perfectly reasonable. Oh God. So she falls asleep next to him. What? Yes. What is the deal with this hand?

Like, would you fall asleep next to this guy? No, with his hand right there. Like what? What is going on? Why is she still with him? Why is she so comfortable around him? Why is she on his side? He clearly doesn’t want the help. He is turning her down at every turn. So it, it got a little [00:48:00] silly, I thought. But anyway, she’s there and this girl as religious as her family is decide, you know, still thinks that it’s okay for her to have toy swords.

Todd: And so she wakes up in the middle of the night and decides to go upstairs and see the head. She pokes and prods at the bandages. Oh, I was so hoping this girl was gonna get it. Yeah. I was so hoping this girl was gonna get it. Sometimes these Italian movies, man, they go in those these fun directions that American movies won’t.

But no, she doesn’t get it. But she does unleash the snake hand. Yeah, she does. And it’s Uzi. And now the snake head is like even more pronounced than before. Like it’s a legit snake head. Awesome. And everybody screams. Uh, Clark screams, Lisa screams. Little girl screams. Everybody screams. The dad comes upstairs with a shotgun.

Craig: So stupid. But I still think it’s, I still like it. For whatever reason, I, I don’t know why the snake shoots its tongue out. Freddy Krueger style and wraps it around the Swedes neck [00:49:00] and. Then he falls in on the wall and hits his head and like there’s blood everywhere. And then the snake shoots goo in the mom’s face.

And while the little girl is in the background watching and crying, and I just have in my notes, yeah, it’s your fault. Like if you been so nosy, you wouldn’t have had to watch your parents get killed by a mutant snake hand. And you’re gonna have to live with that for the rest of your life. Yeah. And Lisa finally tries to get away in the car, but Clark Slithers onto the top of the car, which was a shot that I actually really liked.

Todd: Oh yeah. I thought it looks real. I mean, and I say that loosely, but. It looks kind of like his body slithers up onto the top of the car. Oh yeah, that does. And then he is on top of the car and he comes down over the windshield and he has like a snake tongue that comes through the vent in the car and is messing with her.

Craig: And he’s hopping right her hand. And he’s transforming on the windshield, and it’s this [00:50:00] gross eighties practical transformation. It’s slimy and his face is getting all distorted and his eyeballs fall out and land on the glass and slide down the glass. I thought this looked really from this point on.

It’s, it’s a lot of fun and it’s crazy. Oh yeah. From here, it’s just all special effects and it’s so much fun. I love the eyeball and they make, and still, still, they insist on making this so poetic. Like these shots, when the eyeball pops out of his head and start, it slides slowly down this windshield.

Todd: Yeah. We get this extreme closeup in it with all the juiciness and the bubbles in there. As it kind of sli slowly slide, it’s like the movie kind of stops every few moments to be like. Isn’t this cool though? Yeah. Oh my gosh. And there’s so much Ky in these scenes. It’s insane. Like these, these big globs of like sacky ky fall out of his mouth and like snake starts crawling out of the sacks and she, she crashes the Jeep and [00:51:00] she, uh, somehow gets herself, her body trapped in this deep.

Craig: Mud ditch. It’s like a trench, I’m not sure what it is, but a construction site or something. And she’s in this big trench and she can’t get out. She’s, you know, slithering through the mud and she goes through a standpipe and the, the snakes are chasing her through there. And then. Clark is crawling towards her through there, and then she falls out of the pipe into a mud pit and he leans out over the mud pit and barfs snakes all over, like first a bunch of little ones and then a couple big, huge ones slither out of his mouth.

And these definitely are real snakes. Oh yeah. Where all these snakes come from. I have no idea. There’s like a, from inside him, I guess. I don’t, yeah, but where were they? Where were they Inside of him, like the, there are more snakes. He’s just all full of snakes and they’re huge. They are huge. What did you say?

I said he’s just all full of snakes. Like his whole body’s just all [00:52:00] full of snakes and they just didn’t know it. It’s just snakes. He’s just, he’s been, he’s been dead for a long time and it’s just, he’s just a been big snake puppet this whole time. I think so. And then he, like, he slithers towards her and she impales him on a pole.

And then he’s like all pathetic, like, he’s like, uh, and. She reaches out to him and he reaches out to her, but then his head splits at the jaw, like the upper half of his head just splits back. That was so cool. Oh man. It looked great. And then it cuts away and I’m like, don’t cut away from this. I know. I know.

Todd: But it comes back. But eventually a giant mutant bone snake, so weird looking bone snake like comes out, you know, like of his head. And uh, Dickson Harry show up and the cop throws her a rope and is trying to pull her out. But the big bone snake is following her. And then right at the last second the snake pops [00:53:00] up and Harry I guess, grabs one of the cops rifles.

Craig: Disarms a police officer apparently. Um, and, and shoots the snake and its head blows off and he’s standing there with flow, like they’re just there together at the pit with the police and all the police are standing around and they pull Lisa out and they wrap her in a blanket and they sit around the car and she looks towards the camera.

The end like, might as well, it’s over. Well, it’s over. Yeah, their relationship is over. Worst boyfriend ever, she’s gonna be telling this story for a long time to come. I say the craziest weekend, and it ends with her boyfriend’s head opening up like a Pez dispenser. I, I thought just when the effects couldn’t get any, any more fun that happened and I was all in on it.

Todd: I was all in on it. I mean, it’s a very simple story, but it’s pretty well shot. It’s pretty [00:54:00] well acted. I thought it dragged at times, like I said before, and I don’t think I really pointed out when I thought it dragged, but about the 30 minute mark, I started to get a little impatient for something more significant to happen.

And when they were going through all this stuff in the bar and whatnot, I was just kinda like, all right, like, we get it, like, let’s move on. But, you know, I don’t know. I, I actually thought it was still pretty good. When I say pretty good, I mean. I don’t think my mom would enjoy this movie. I don’t think my dad would enjoy this movie.

Craig: No. But, uh, for a horror movie, it’s got enough to keep you entertained and the special effects payoffs all the way through it are enough reason to watch it. It’s fun. And to see all these, all these cool actors like Jack still just likes, I just like seeing Jamie Farr and whatever he’s in, he. He’s just a fun old chap.

Yeah. And I, I like watching him. Yeah. I actually quite liked it. Uh, and I think that some of our friends, some of our podcast friends would really like it if you’re into, and I don’t think, I don’t know. I mean, I saw it when I was young, so if you’re our age, maybe you did too. Maybe you picked it up [00:55:00] at the video store.

But I don’t think that it’s widely seen. No, God no. As far as I can tell, it’s not streaming anywhere other than all over YouTube. Like, yeah, there. There are multi a dozen posts of it in its entirety on YouTube, and I would say if you haven’t seen it and you’re a fan of eighties horror and you’re a fan of practical effects, I actually think you’ll really like it.

I really liked it. I agree with you that it drags in the middle, but I think that the beginning and the end. Are both really good and worth watching. It was a good choice. Thank you, Craig. Well, if you enjoyed this podcast and you’ve seen this movie, especially reach out to us. We’d love to hear about it. Uh, you can find us online, chainsaw horror.com, or you can just search two guys in a Chainsaw podcast and find us all over.

Todd: You can also find our patriot at patriot.com/chainsaw podcast, where for just five bucks a month, you can get access. To the complete unedited phone calls that I use to put these podcasts together. All the personal stuff we talk about before and after, and all the little things that I cut out in the middle.

We also have Mini SOS that we put up and uh, we also have a really cool book club where we’re reading horror books and, uh, getting together by video to discuss them. If that sounds appealing to you, just go to patreon.com/chainsaw podcast and sign up and join the family. It’s a lot of fun. Until next time, I’m Todd.

And I’m Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.