Critters (1986)

Episode 167, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of 2 Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: Let’s see, we wrapped up our month of sequels and now We’re getting back into stuff that we want to do, right Craig? Yeah. So, no, we wanted to do everything we’ve done up to this point. Of course, if we didn’t want to do it, we wouldn’t do it. That’s true. What we did do this week was Critters from 1986. I really thought I had seen this movie before. I swear I had seen this movie before. I think maybe I’ve seen   1 of the sequels instead, because watching it was a bit of a surprise to me this time around. How about you, Craig? Had you seen this film before?

Craig: Well, I kind of feel the same way you did. Like, I was sure that I had, and I’m sure that I have but even in that certainty I knew that it had been I hadn’t seen it since I was a kid and I Didn’t remember anything about it except for you know what the critters look like But so yeah, so I went in, you know, not knowing and remembering watching these movies when I was a kid. And I remember enjoying them when I was a kid, but I just went in with really low expectations. I just   thought, you know, this is 1 of those movies that I liked when I was a kid, but I’m sure that it’s probably awful, but that’s okay. I’m prepared for that and hopefully it’ll be fun. And I was really surprised. Yeah? Yeah, I felt like this movie was better than it had any right to be. Yeah?

Todd: Are you,   are you,   I don’t know, what do you think?

Craig: Ummm… Ha ha ha ha ha!

Todd: Maybe it was better. You’re right, no, you’re right. It, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, but then it had any right to be. It kicked off and I instantly was thinking, oh, this is sort of Roger Corman style Movie making right? It’s the effects are a little cheap at least at first.

Craig: Yeah,

Todd: the sets are a little cheap Everything’s quite derivative, you know even Critters itself was accused of being derivative because it only came out about 2 years after Gremlins did and it’s Gremlins, Critters, but that turns out to be not the case. In fact, apparently the writer of the movie, Dominic Muir Muir? Muir? I don’t know how you say it. M-U-I-R. He came up with this script long before Gremlins. It was based on a childhood dream that he had. And I would say, yeah, I believe it. It sounds like they actually even had to make some changes   to it in production in order to downplay the similarities between Gremlins and this movie. Although I don’t know what those changes were, but you could be forgiven in 1986 for thinking, oh, this is kind of a knockoff of Gremlins, except for the fact that it takes a little bit more of a sci-fi bent to it. Well, a lot more sci-fi bent to it, honestly, than Gremlins did. Gremlins is a little more supernatural. Monster movie. Yeah, yeah, that monster movie. And this is, the critters are aliens. They’re escapees from an asteroid prison, and it’s all very nebulous   and unknown really what’s going on there in the opening scenes. But you know, you get these, I don’t wanna say low budget, but sort of mid-level budget, sci-fi effects and costumes and sets and things. You got a little guy floating around on a floating platform straight out of Dune who somehow is maybe in charge of this prison or something. And when these critters have escaped, which we don’t see a big production about it, it’s all just, oh, they’ve escaped somehow in a ship, and he gets sent 2 bounty hunters off to get them. And I don’t   know, you know, like, I’m looking at this and I’m thinking battle beyond the stars I’m thinking some of these other sort of lower budget Roger Corman films except the effects were a little bit better I think

Craig: yeah,

Todd: they were just times when it dipped into That let level of territory. I think especially with the bounty hunters I mean these bounty hunters come on the screen and at first they have these heads that are undefined. They’re these like supposed to be green, glowing heads and faces, but it’s half done with these sort of like white condoms pulled over, some actors’ faces, and then half done with this odd camera effect where somebody painted a glow over them. And it’s not very consistent from scene to scene when you see these bounty hunters, how they pull it   off. And so it just has that unpolished look of, I don’t know, the kind of movie I usually like to watch. So no real complaints there. Ha ha ha

Craig: ha. Right.

Todd: So I don’t really know where I’m going with this, except to sort of describe my initial impressions. And then as the movie went on and on and on, I felt like it went on and on and on. I just, I don’t know, it seemed to lack the focus that Gremlins had. It’s really going hard for Charm to be the sort of charming family movie, kind of like Gremlins was or ET or those kind of films. But I found it kind of lacking that arena too, that really never quite picked up for me. And so, I don’t   know man, I was, you’re right, it was better than I probably had any right to be, But I can’t say I was engaged through the whole thing and I was kind of ready for it to be over by the end of it

Craig: Well, that’s fair enough. I agree with you like the effects Well, just everything about it is not as good as some of those great movies from the 80s Like you said like Gremlins or ET. I mean those are classics for a reason But it had some similar charm and it even had, I don’t know, I felt like because of its limitations, it felt like it had more limitations, whether it be due to budget or whatever it might be, more so than some of those other movies. And I felt like it was because of those, some of   those limitations that it had its own kind of charm going on. Like you said, the bounty hunters, they’re like, silly putty heads look kind of goofy. And the set pieces, gosh, I’m trying to think of other movies that we’ve seen that it reminded me of, like Galaxy of Terror, kind of,

Todd: maybe. Definitely Galaxy of Terror.

Craig: Yeah, clearly lower budget, but that’s fine. And something that surprised me is, you know, you’ve got that whole escape and I thought there were really cute things like the critters, we’ll call them that, I guess technically they’re crites. But some of the cute stuff I thought was they talk, like they have this kind of made up language, I guess. The creator said that he kinda combined an Eastern language. I don’t remember if he said Japanese or Chinese with like French or something. I don’t remember. But it sounds funny and it’s funny when they speak it because   they subtitle it and you know, they’re goofy and crass and That’s funny. 1 of the things that I thought was a little bit disappointing was that this is not even an hour and a half long. It’s only an hour and 26 minutes. And you don’t even see a crite until half an hour in. Yeah. Which seemed a little bit prolonged for me. So that would be 1 complaint. But once you do see them, I mean they’re clearly puppets. If I’m not mistaken, the crites themselves are all entirely practical. And they look at, I mean they kind   of look like, you know, a puppet with a puppeteer’s hand up its butt or shaking it from behind. They’re pretty limited in what they do. You know, they mostly just kind of open their mouths. That’s it. And like when they move around it’s funny it’s almost like they took like rubber bouncy balls that we would play with when we were kids and covered them in hair and then just threw them around like.

Todd: Which I thought was was actually kind of cool. You know, I guess it is a little similar to, I’m remembering now that when Gizmo gets wet, doesn’t he pop off these little furry

Craig: little.

Todd: Yeah, yeah. So there’s a little similarity there, but I think it was a good use of their limitations. I mean, Just like you’re describing, it’s obvious these guys did not have the budget that Spielberg had for Gremlins, but, or Dante I should say, had for Gremlins, but they solved that problem by, I think it’s cool actually, that they can spin into these balls that just sort of roll around. It neatly solves that problem of how do we show these people walking? How do we show these

Craig: puppets walking?

Todd: But it’s also kind of scary, like this idea that these things can just, boom, they fly into your room so quickly just by rolling in, and they can just as easily roll down the stairs and roll out right between your legs. They have a mobility, I guess, in that way that the gremlins didn’t get. And that made them a little more otherworldly and cool in that way. I thought that was actually a unique thing, but you’re right, it’s totally furry balls running around.

Craig: Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. And so, you know, there’s that element of it. I like the design of the creatures. I think that they’re, to a certain degree, kind of cute, but at the same time menacing. Like they’ve got these great big huge gaping mouths full of these little tiny razor sharp teeth, and they’ve got these glowing red eyes, and there’s an element to them where they’ve got, you know, kind of like these porcupine spikes that stand up on their fur and that they can shoot out and like tranquilize people with. I thought that the design was   cute and that the execution was efficient. You know, it worked for what they needed. Beyond that, I just thought like technical elements, like it’s not poorly shot. No. Like it actually looks pretty good and the score was fun I thought in in various parts of the movie and 1 of the things that kind of blew me away was that it’s an incredibly recognizable cast like It seems like almost every face in the movie you recognize from something else. Yes, absolutely. Mostly from the 80s, but some of the actors, like 1 of my favorites, Dee Wallace, who   plays the mom. I was talking to my partner last night and I was like, you know, D Wallace, the mom from ET, she’s in it and she plays the mom in this and he was like, does D Wallace ever not play the mom? And I was like, no. But she’s in it and then there’s lots of other, like I said, not necessarily huge names, but all of them recognizable. Another very recognizable face is a very young Billy Zane as like the teenage love interest. That was funny. I completely forgot about

Todd: that.

Craig: Yeah, for real. And the acting is not bad either. No. It seemed like they were taking it seriously. They weren’t hamming it up for the cameras much. I mean, there’s 1 character, Charlie, and that’s kind of his character. He’s kind of crazy Charlie. And so he hams it up a little bit. And the bounty hunters are, even though they’re playing it straight, their characters are kind of hammy just because of the nature of their characters. But beyond that, you know, it’s not poorly acted. I just I was surprised. I’m not suggesting in any way that it’s   a great movie or any kind of classic. It’s certainly a B-movie. I don’t know what the budget was, but it made decent money when it came out. I think that it suffered from the fact that it came after Gremlins because everybody just kind of assumed that it was a copycat, even though it really wasn’t. Even Siskel or Ebert, 1 of them said, well, for a copy, it’s really not that bad. And that’s unfortunate because it wasn’t. It was an original idea. It just happened to come on the heels of Gremlins. And I do think that it   suffered for that, but there’s a lot to be said for it. Another critic, I don’t remember who it was, said that it’s a fun little romp, and it seems like it was made by people who really had a good time doing it. And that was the sense that I got too. You know, it seemed like they were taking this seriously and trying to put together the best movie they could for this type of movie. And ultimately, I think that it was pretty successful. I don’t remember the sequels. I kind of remember the second movie, and all   I remember about it was that there was a restaurant called the Hungry Heifer, and it had a really funny theme song, and we used to run around singing that theme song a lot, but that’s all I remember.

Todd: You guys had an interesting childhood.

Craig: Yeah well and there were 4 of them all together I don’t number 4 was you know like critters in space which is kind of ironic considering that they are space aliens, but I don’t really remember those, but I do remember that I would get excited when I would see them on the shelves. Back in the day, any of our younger listeners, like millennial and younger, won’t remember that before the days of the internet, you didn’t even really know when films were being made necessarily, when they were going to come out, unless they were, you know, like   box office, like blockbuster movies that they would show the trailers on TV. Smaller movies like this, especially the sequels, that would just appear on the video store shelves. And I remember getting excited when the sequels would come out and I would always rent them and I don’t remember not enjoying them. But I don’t know, I guess I should stick with this movie.

Todd: Well, I think it’s the tongue in cheek nature of this movie from the very beginning that kind of saves it. Because, I don’t know how to put this, it’s the jokes and the laughs that they’re making, you know, they’re serious about making a good movie, right? But they’re serious also that they’re making a goofy movie. Sure. And that they’re literally cracking jokes in this movie and making all kinds of references. Like, all right, D Wallace was an ET.   There are a   couple references to ET in this movie. The boy in this movie tries to run his thermometer under hot water in order to get out of going from school, which is what he did in, you know, what the boy did an ET as well. Although it doesn’t work this time around. There’s a point where a creator comes face to face with a stuffed ET doll and, you know, kind of looks at it and is playing around with it. And that’s kind of funny. And There were elements like this, obviously in Gremlins too, right? They had these little   jokes where the Gremlins were really playful and they did these kind of sick things. They were kind of a tongue in cheek nature, especially when you get like to Gremlins too, the new batch, when every Gremlin is their own character and some of them are talking and all that weird stuff. But with this movie, like, they didn’t have much else to really go on because I felt like the budget was so cheap. And I think that the thing that really brings this movie down a little bit is maybe the writing. Maybe there wasn’t a lot to   do with, that they could do maybe, with these critters who come from space and basically invade a farmhouse. That’s what this movie is. Yes. And so they had to spice it up by bringing these bounty hunters in who are sent down. And these bounty hunters can take the shape of people that they see and so the first shape that 1 of the bounty hunters takes while the other 1 for some unknown reason decides to go with his glowing green head for a while is this like famous who has this number 1 hit song on TV, some   80s glammed out, you know, hairband rocker dude. And so he’s walking around this movie as this famous person, only it’s not until toward the end of the film that the boy even recognizes him. Like, I thought they were gonna go somewhere with that like you know you’d see the news things like this famous Rocker guy is running around with the blaster like blasting people, but but that’s just sort of left on the floor you know and The movie is fun when the critters are in there, but like you said, they don’t come in until pretty late.   We get all this crap with the bounty hunters, and even when the critters do come in, we get a lot of crap with the bounty hunters in between. And let’s just lay it on the table here. These are the worst bounty hunters you could possibly hire to go on some intergalactic quest and take out these critters. Their weapons aren’t suitable for the job. They move extremely slowly. They don’t seem to know where they’re going or what to do. And all they do is choose screen time. You know, and that’s so we’re kind of divided. Like we   want to get into this fun critter movie and see this family, but it gets chopped up by these scenes of bounty hunters like walking sinisterly into a bowling alley. Right. And looking around and nobody knows who they are. And the only thing they can do is grab a guy every now and then and go, I want the crights, wear the crights. And when they don’t get whatever answer they’re looking for, they just start shooting things and people with these giant guns, and then they leave. And I mean, is this supposed to be suspenseful and scary? And   I mean, am I supposed to be on the edge of my seat, like as the bounty hunters are closing in on the critters on the farmhouse? Like, no, you know? It’s boring and it’s plotting, and it’s like, get me through this stuff. Finally, toward the end of the movie, when we have our big climax where the crit, the bounty hunters are where they’re supposed to be, they’re at the farmhouse, which I don’t think was actually that far from where they landed, which I don’t think was very far from where the critters landed, but okay, finally they   loop back around and they get there. These guys are kind of on the same side, right, as the humans. Like, That’s the thing that’s kind of hanging over my head through this whole thing is these guys are coming in and blasting up a bunch of humans. But really in a better written film, they’re getting the help of the humans to find the critters. And then when they get there, they’ve got these giant guns and they just blast giant holes into everything and they’re aiming them toward these little creatures that are about you know 6 inches tall.

Craig: Yeah.

Todd: Like I think maybe it’s supposed to be part of the joke that they’re blasting the house apart, trying to destroy these tiny little critters, but it’s just monotonous and tedious for me, watching this go on. And so it was hard for me to get that same sense of thrill and wonder and excitement and really to get into that plot, it was hard for me to do that, and that’s why I think I just couldn’t wait for the movie to be over by the end of

Craig: it. Well, I think you kinda nailed it. I hadn’t really thought about it, but hearing you talk about it, you’re right. The central story is about this family, this nice, wholesome farm family of Helen who’s played by Dee Wallace and her husband is Jay, played by Billy Greenbush, who I feel like I looked at his IMDB page and I couldn’t really peg anything but he’s so familiar. I know that I have seen him in a million things. And then their son Brad who is played by Scott Grimes, another incredibly familiar face from the 80s. The daughter,   April, I don’t recognize her so much. She’s like the teenager, and it’s very stereotypical. And they are the central characters. And then you’ve also got this kind of goofy off the wall character named Charlie who was kind of typical I think in the 80s but that you don’t really see very much today because it’s a little bit not PC. You know he’s kind of the slow 1. Yeah. In this case, I feel like he’s got some backstory. Like he was like a star pitcher or something, but I don’t know if he got injured or if he   just started drinking because like now he’s the town drunk or whatever, but he just is kind of the slow 1. In the original Leprechaun with Jennifer Aniston, they had a similar character. The guy that was just kinda, you know, you like him, he’s very childlike and you root for him, but he’s kind of the slow 1. And I don’t know, in the 80s, for better or for worse, we weren’t as sensitive about those things, but you just don’t see it much anymore. And Charlie is an endearing character, I really like him. And the actor who plays   him, Don Keith-Opper, he does a good job. But that’s the central story. And you’re right, now that I think about it, It seems like all the bounty hunter stuff is really just To stretch for time. It seems like it. Okay, you’re saying, you know, they’re going around shooting everybody up. I don’t remember them hurting anybody. They cause a lot of destruction, you know, like they go to a church and for no apparent reason. That’s the other thing. Their only purpose is they’re looking, you’re absolutely right when you say they’re absolutely terrible bounty hunters because all they   can do is just wherever they happen to end up, we want the crites. Like, these people are hiding them. Like, I don’t know. And then when the crites aren’t produced, they just start shooting the place up. I didn’t get the impression that they were actually shooting or hurting people, but they were certainly causing a lot of destruction in their wake. We want the Krites. Oh, really? Who are they, some new team? The Krites. Look, Mr. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I do like that you said that the 1 bounty hunter takes the rock star   persona and he’s played by Terrence Mann. And Terrence Mann has always just to me been the poor man’s Tim Curry. Like, he’s like kind of a taller, hotter Tim Curry, but not as talented. But pretty to look at throughout. And then I thought that it was also, you know, it doesn’t really make any sense. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. But the other 1, like, just can’t decide who he wants

Todd: to be.

Craig: At first, he’s just got, you know, his nebulous head. And then he just takes on the form of anybody he happens to randomly see. So the first person that they come in contact with is this cop, the first casualty of the crites on earth and so he takes the image of the dead injured cop and of course this confuses everybody in the town because it’s a super small town, so they know everybody. And then they go to the church and he’s the cop and everybody’s like, hey, Mr. Cop, why are you here and dressed crazy?” And   then he like, it’s almost like every time he transforms, it’s like he gets indigestion, like his stomach starts grumbling. And then he turns into somebody else. And he turns into the preacher from the church and everybody sees it happen and are all surprised. Then they go to a bar and Charlie is there and of course they get into a bar fight and they shoot the place up. He turns into hot Charlie. Charlie’s kind of this disheveled, drunken looking guy, but then when the space guy turns into him he’s all sleek and cool and I don’t know   I mean it’s it’s kind of fun I think I this feels like and I don’t know if this was the intention or whether it was just that in the 80s these movies were being made, I don’t know. But it feels like a movie for kids. And not little kids necessarily, but for 11, 12 year old Craig in the 80s. Like, it’s pretty benign. Yes, there’s violence, but there’s not a lot of gore, there aren’t a lot of kills. I think only 1 person dies, right? Isn’t it just… Like 1 or 2. The cop? Yeah, 1 or   2. And it’s not gory, those kills. No. It’s more just kind of about mayhem and things blowing up and silly jokes. Like the critters, 1 of my favorite lines was at some point, the farm is under siege. No, 2 guys get killed, I guess, cause Steve, Billy Zane gets killed at some

Todd: point too.   Billy Zane, who is the most atypical, straight male teenage boy I’ve ever seen. I think he’s probably not straight. He has an incredibly hard time making out with his girlfriend in this movie.

Craig: Well, I don’t know about Billy Zane in general, but if he wanted to be on my team, that’d be perfectly fine with me. He was. He was. He was hot and he was, woo!

Todd: I’d never seen him this young. I really hadn’t.

Craig: Yeah, yeah. And he’s still not bad to look at. He’s got a lot less hair now than he used to, But there’s 1 point where the family has been attacked. The poor dad takes the brunt of it. He gets attacked several times. And there’s 1 point where they’re kind of locked outside their house, I think. And the mom has a gun. And we see the 2 of the crites on the porch and they speak in their language their language is really funny it’s just funny the juxtaposition of them talking with the subtitles underneath. It’s just funny.

Todd: It is.

Craig: It is funny. And these 2, these 2 crites talking back and forth, 1 of them says, they have weapons, and the other 1 says, so what? And then the 1 that says, so what? Gets blown away with the shotgun, and the other 1 goes, fuck.

Todd: I was surprised to see the F-bomb in the PG movie. I can only imagine it’s because it was printed on the screen that they got away with

Craig: it. Well, it’s PG-13, and I have always heard, now I don’t know where, I can’t source this, But I’ve always heard that in PG-13 movies you can have 1 f-bomb so Just figure out where you really want it because you only get 1 Here is where they used theirs, And I thought it was really funny. And so there’s funny stuff like that. Yeah, there’s funny stuff like that. I don’t know. It’s cute and charming in its own little way. It’s not spectacular. I don’t know if I agree with you that it’s boring. It does take a   little while to get to the good stuff. And then once you do get to the good stuff, you kind of have to slog through some of the bounty hunter stuff. Even though I didn’t find that entirely boring, I just found the bounty hunters to be dumb as characters, but You know it lots of shooting and explosions. It’s not like it was it’s not like nothing was happening But the the the central part of it the the farmhouse under siege. I actually thought was kind of a good

Todd: romp. Well, when we were there, it was good, but again, I felt like even those moments suffered a little bit from that aspect of we just didn’t see the critters enough. And again, to make comparisons, again, to Gremlins, where Gremlins really gives you that feeling of a multiplying horde of creatures that are just taking over a town, you know? And they do this, I think part of it too, that they’re able to accomplish that is because they give you different scenes of different things happening to different people, right? So there’s the old lady who gets attacked.   There’s the old man who gets attacked There’s the this you know this barbershop or this other place It gets attacked even though we keep coming back to the main characters where they are. This movie really doesn’t have that. It’s pretty well focused on this farmhouse. But the scenes with the critters there attacking people, being a direct threat to somebody, they would kind of pop in and pop out, you know? I didn’t even get a sense of how many there were. I mean, come to think of it, you know, were there just like 8 or maybe 7?

Craig: In the beginning, when there was the escape, they said that 8 escaped.

Todd: Oh, okay, all right, so maybe that’s why. Maybe I was imagining it to be you know, this kind of ever multiplying herd of people But really was just 8 escape critters But with there only 8 of them and at any given time maybe like 3 of them are in 1 room And so there’s really nothing happening in the other rooms and sometimes they’re outside on the porch and sometimes they’re inside but then they’re sort of outside again and there are these sort of long stretches where the family’s just cowering in the living room and nothing is   happening you know they’re they’re talking with each other they’re tending their wounds I wonder where so-and-so is I wonder what’s going on blah blah blah And they seem perfectly safe with the doors closed. And so, you know, there wasn’t just this impending attack sort of feeling that I got. It was only when they opened the doors and tried to walk out that maybe 1 or 2 of them would be there. Yeah. But then they would run away. And so, it’s kind of this touch and go thing that I didn’t really, it was hard. It was hard

Craig: to. And you’re right, especially for a while, if they could just be in the house, they were okay for a while. And they even comment on that outright. Eventually, the critters start getting into the house. But again, it’s just like somebody off set is throwing a hairy ball through a window, you know, like that’s how they get in there. And then they’re in. So it’s like, oh, we’re safe in here. They can’t get in. Oh, except now they can. And now they’ll chase us around in the house. 1 thing that I will say is, you know,   with this family and the family drama that’s going on, they play it as though this, it so could have gone the other way. They so could have played it super, super cornball and cheesy. And this could have been a super cornball cheesy movie to and to some extent it is but the actors especially the main family and especially Dee Wallace plays it straight yeah like like this it like that we’re really in danger and I really care about my family, and this isn’t something to hearty-har about. D. Wallace, she looks legitimately terrified.

Todd: Yeah, she does.

Craig: Throughout a lot of this movie, and she has moments of like genuine emotion. You know, there’s 1 point where they, her husband’s been attacked at least twice at this point and he’s not well because the critters can shoot these darts out of their backs and apparently they’re poison darts. It seems that the suggestion is that it’s not poison that’s intended to kill, but rather to sedate, because they don’t die from it, they just get really sleepy. But her husband’s not well, and so she’s trying to tend to him and the son, not intentionally, but it’s just   kind of pestering her and she lashes out at him.

Todd: He looks pretty sick mom.

Craig: I’m okay sport.

Todd: He’s fine. He doesn’t look fine to me. Why don’t you go check the windows? I already did.

Craig: Well, check them again!

Todd: It’s okay, Mom.

Craig: Oh, I’m… And it’s like 5 seconds of legitimate family drama. Like, what? Where did this come from? But it didn’t feel out of place to me. It worked, it worked. And I felt the connection with this family. And I believed that they cared about each other and were concerned about each other and eventually the dad has to send the son off for help and that’s a dilemma because he doesn’t want his kid to be in danger but both of the parents are incapacitated at that point. I thought, I liked that stuff.

Todd: Yeah, I agree with you there. I think that there was, there’s no question, like they seemed like a real family. They weren’t a Hollywood family. In fact, maybe to their detriment, they weren’t a Hollywood family. There’s no moment, there’s no kind of 1 person here who sweeps in and saves the day. That’s what in some ways really sets this movie apart and as real and authentic as that is, maybe it’s also a bit of a failing in the movie because it’s also not a case of where everybody came together and came up with a plan and   together we’re able to outwit them, you know? It’s just stuff happens, and sometimes this person shoots him, and sometimes this person shoots him. The sheriff who is a riot, because he’s always, he’s played by M. Emmett Walsh, he doesn’t have much to do, you know? He comes in and he really doesn’t do much There are a few scenes with him kind of going around to the places where the destruction have happened But once he gets to the farmhouse, he’s not really much help either Nobody’s really got a great idea of how to take care of these   people and then the bounty hunters come up and they’re really no better, but somehow they end up getting the upper hand at the end of the day. But there are moments, and I think this is where I think just Dee Wallace kind of steals the show. Like you said, she has all this emotion, but then there’s that 1 moment where I think they’re upstairs in the bedroom and they’re cowering, and she’s just kind of had it and so she picks up the shotgun and she blasts 1 of them through the door and kills him in the   hallway and then comes out and for a little bit of the movie she’s a bit of a Rambo and that was kind of fun to see but not you know hey cool I’m a Rambo kind of way but in a sort of a hysterical mother I know I know of nothing else to do than this kind of way.

Craig: Yes, I you know, I don’t have to tell you and if Those of you out there in the Internet land if you’ve listened to us before you know I’m a huge D Wallace fan, so I could go on and on about her Forever I think she’s great in this movie and there are so many little things like you said the sheriff again somebody who I can’t pinpoint him from anything precisely, but he has such a recognizable face. I just feel like I’ve seen him in a million things. And there are other people in this too. Of   course, it’s a new line film, which means the executive producer was Robert Shea. So his little sister, Lynn Shea, has a role, she’s the police dispatcher. I almost didn’t recognize her at first, she’s very young in this movie.

Todd: She is.

Craig: It actually.

Todd: It might be her best acting gig I’ve ever seen.

Craig: Oh gosh, I really like Lynne Shea. I love seeing her pop up in these movies and she really has made a career for herself as a horror actress on her own. Clearly her connection to her brother helped her in her career, but she’s really prolific as really kind of the star of all of those insidious movies. Yeah, that’s true. Or most of them.

Todd: I’m not really sold on her as an actress, but I thought that in this movie, she had a very unique and very well done character.

Craig: Yeah, well I don’t know, yeah as an actress, I mean she’s 1 of those actresses that, she’s always Lynn Shea to some extent, you know? And that may have something to do. She’s got a very distinct look. She’s got a very distinct voice, but I just enjoy her. And so it was fun to see her pop up.

Todd: Come on, Sal. What’s happening? Well, this here says that John Travolta used to be a

Clip: waitress in Fort Myers, Florida

Todd: What’s happening here, Sal? Big bowling tournament tonight and Charlie he’s sleeping it off in the back. Oh, be nice, Harv. He don’t mean no harm.

Craig: So there’s, you know, they battle the crates at the farm, and there’s little gags where It’s just like, okay, we get attacked, we get away, we get attacked, we get away, we get attacked, we get away. Which is fine, that’s not inconsistent with the horror genre, especially when you’re talking about these kinds of monster movies. And there’s little gags throughout like it the son Brad is a Pyro basically, I mean he’s a firecracker Enthusiast and and he makes his own firecrackers and he gets in trouble for that early on in the movie But at 1 point   when the critters are attacking his sister, he throws a firecracker at 1 of them and it eats the firecracker and the firecracker explodes inside it and it doesn’t blow it up, but you see like its eyes get wide and it kind of expands a little bit and then it falls over dead.

Todd: It tips over, which is funny. Yeah.

Craig: Yeah, I read that was actually kind of a complicated effect for them to get.

Todd: It’s so hard to believe, isn’t it?

Craig: I know it is hard to believe.

Todd: It looks like a little doll tipping over. Right. But everything leading up to it was cute, yeah.

Craig: Yeah. And so there’s that gag. There’s another gag where Brad, when they’re inside, I think this is a terrible idea, but to deter the crites chasing them, he throws an oil lamp on the floor and 1 of the critters catches on fire and then rolls into the toilet to put itself out. And then later on the bounty hunter finds it in the toilet and shoots it in the toilet which may have been a nod to ghoulies now here’s where you are better about remembering these things than I did the guys behind the effects were the Chiodo   brothers, right?

Todd: Yes, they are.

Craig: I’m pretty sure. And they worked on a lot of these types of movies. Like, they did a lot of… No. No. No, they didn’t?

Todd: No, no, no, no.

Craig: What did they do? They did a lot of creature effects, didn’t

Todd: they?   They did like, like killer clowns from outer space.

Craig: There you go.

Todd: Not as many as you would think. I think they had a little bit to do with Team America, World Police, which was very impressive, effects-wise. But yeah, not as much as you would imagine.

Craig: Gosh, I just, I know that I’ve heard their name in reference to so many things, but I guess I could just be making that up in my head. I don’t know. But these little effects and little things that they did, it was fun and they experimented with it and they played with it. In this movie, as the crites continue to eat, they grow and they continue to get bigger. Now, until at 1.1 or 2 of them are like person-sized by the end. And I didn’t remember that at all. And I don’t remember if that’s something that   carried on through the series or if they abandoned that because I always think of them as being, you know, kind of like basketball sized. But in this 1, they continue to grow. And so eventually you’ve got these big ones chasing people around. And 1 of the big ones eventually kidnaps the sister and takes her back to the ship like they’re going to take off with her, which I like, was she just a snack for later? Was there some other intent with that?

Todd: I wasn’t really sure, but

Craig: I did. I liked the effects as I don’t want to say as simple as they were because I’m sure they weren’t simple I feel like a lot of work went into manufacturing these little creatures But then the execution of how they moved and stuff, it felt like people working on a budget and coming up with the best way that they could utilize these props as possible. And as simplistic as it ultimately was, I still thought that it was fun and it looked pretty good. I mean to some extent You can see it for what it is,   but it was still cute and fun, I thought.

Todd: Well, let’s talk about 1 of the best effects of the whole movie. To lead into it, just like you said, the sister gets kidnapped. This is the climax. This is sort of the, we’re gonna fix everything. The boy gets on his bike, and he chases after the critter who’s dragged his sister away who’s human size. And I think Charlie joins him at the same time. And they end up at the ship in the field which is just behind the house. And he goes in and he basically drops a bomb in there as he put 1 of   his like little pipe bombs in there as he pulls his sister out, but isn’t-

Craig: Little pipe bombs, it’s a huge pipe. This kid is making like these huge sticks of dynamite.

Todd: This kid was, you know, just a couple years away from shooting up the school quite honestly when

Craig: you see what he was

Todd: doing Yeah probably You wouldn’t even want to put this in a movie nowadays because the ideas that would give kids Yeah, but yeah So he dropped 1 of those in there But didn’t light it and he they get out and as the ship is taking off Charlie gets this idea to light a Molotov cocktail with 1 of his bottles of liquor They toss it into the ship and so it causes a fire   in there and as the ship is taking off, Charlie gets this idea to light a Molotov cocktail with 1 of his bottles of liquor. They toss it into the ship,   and so it causes a fire in there. And as the ship is taking off, you’re getting ready, you’re waiting for it to explode, but it manages to go over the house in just this cute little bit of nastiness. It like zaps a laser down and blows up the entire farmhouse, which I didn’t see coming, but I was like, oh my God, that’s sick.

Craig: Right, and like just to be mean, like, ha ha.

Todd: And then like 2 seconds later the ship explodes and that’s the end of them, that’s the end of the story, but then you’ve got this family and their whole farmhouse is just a wreck. It’s just lumber all over the yard. 1 of the guys, 1 of the bounty hunters in this kind of cornball, you know, ending scene, hands the kid some unknown device from his belt. And it beeps at just the right time and the kid picks it up and pushes a button and it does something, it reverses time or who knows what, but it ends   up putting the farmhouse all back together. And I was marveling at this effect. Now- Me too. First, it’s obvious what it is, it’s film played

Craig: in reverse.

Todd: Is it   a miniature? Maybe, or full, I’m not, it’s gotta be miniature, but it was a really well done miniature, right?

Craig: Yeah, I

Todd: thought so. Because the detail, like, you could have shot the farmhouse blowing into a bunch of bits and then reversed that shot to have it kind of sucking together. But it is a good two-minute sequence of the pieces of this farmhouse rolling across the lawn and coming back together in quite detailed fashion until the roof itself comes back together almost like a flower opening up. The shingles come out and even played forwards in the destruction of this. Like I couldn’t tell exactly how all of that was accomplished. It was a beautiful piece of effects work I   thought.   Yeah, yeah

Craig: it looked good.

Todd: And it was a great way to end the movie I was like, oh my gosh, that’s wonderful So yeah So they get their farmhouse back to at the end of the movie and I thought that effect was was Better than any of the effects in the movie Yeah,

Craig: oh gosh. Yeah, it was really good.

Todd: Yeah

Craig: and again, it was just kind of 1 of those moments All of this has happened overnight and they pull up in the morning to find their house completely destroyed and poor D Wallace’s character is just like Devastated she’s like yeah, she’s crying like it’s horrible but then it all comes back together and even the cat is okay and you know all is well with the world and then it pans over to the chicken coop and you see amongst the chicken eggs these very odd eggs which are obviously supposed to be crite eggs, and you kind of   hear the crite giggling like

Todd: hee hee hee hee.

Craig: I read, and I vaguely remember this, that that is really where the sequel picks up. It’s set at Easter. We’re always looking for Easter movies and I can’t believe we’ve never done Critters 2 because it’s set at Easter because they think they paint these crite eggs up as these great big giant Easter eggs.

Todd: That’s great.

Craig: And the crates then hatch and cause mayhem again.

Todd: I’m making a note.

Craig: Yeah, the kid that played Brad reprises his role. I don’t know how much later it’s supposed to be. He looks significantly older in the stills that I’ve seen from the second 1, but he does reprise his role. And there’s, I don’t know, maybe Charlie reprises his role. Terrence Mann was in all 4 Critters movies. I read the trivia for all of them and 1 of the things that I thought was funny was that they constantly repeat how Terrence Mann was in all of them. But apparently in Critters 3, the credits roll and Terrence Mann is credited   as his character Ugg before he even ever shows up in the movie because he only shows up in a post-credits scene that sets up part 4. And so then he’s in part 4. And I don’t know, Like I said, I’m pretty sure I saw all of those. 1 of the reasons that we decided to do this this week is because Critters has been in the news, or at least the horror news lately. It’s being revived in possibly more than 1 area. I know that there is a limited series available exclusively through Shudder right now, and I   don’t remember what it’s called. It’s Critters the new something.

Todd: The new batch, the new recipe. Or something, right. The new

Craig: bites, whatever. Apparently it’s already available, and I heard limited series, and I’m like, well that’s interesting. You know, you get a 6 episode series or whatever. Apparently the episodes are so short that the entire series is only about 70 minutes long in its entirety. It’s not getting good reviews at all. Really bad.

Todd: I’ll bet it’s making that mistake of going for CGI, huh?

Craig: I don’t know, I don’t know. It looks like a lot of it’s practical. In fact, the 1 review that I read, it blasted the whole thing and said it’s awful, but that the only reason that they gave it any credit at all was for the Kright creature effects. So I think that they are still practical. But yes, lots of CGI beyond that. The crits themselves are still practical, but then lots of other CGI, and apparently really, really low rate CGI. Which is unfortunate, I don’t know. Given the opportunity, I might check it out anyway. It’s only   70 minutes. I’d give it a shot. But then I’ve also heard rumors that there may be another sequel shooting right now. Have you read that?

Todd: I thought I saw a little something about it. Yeah, but I don’t remember the details.

Craig: I think all that I heard is that It’s it’s kind of hush hush and that it may be shooting in Australia right now and that D Wallace is also shooting something in Australia right now. Oh. So.

Todd: Put 2 and   2 together.

Craig: Right, so maybe, who knows, it could be just a rumor, there could be absolutely nothing to it whatsoever. But I’ve heard rumblings, so maybe we’ll be getting Critters 5, the return to Grover’s End or whatever this place is called. I don’t know.

Todd: That would be nice. I wonder if it is gonna be scored by David Newman, because we can’t wrap up our discussion of this without mentioning, because you said earlier the music is great, and the music is fantastic. And this was David Newman’s very first film score. And I mean, he went on to do maybe half of the kids’ movies you’ve ever seen. I mean, he went on from this to do like heathers throw mama from the train Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure Tommy boy the mighty ducks Jingle all the way. I mean Matilda like all of   these like Galaxy quest all of these like, you know family friendly movies like he you can tell like from the outset, he really nailed this formula. And I’m looking through it right now and I’m seeing that, yeah, he, none of the other critter sequels are on there. I guess he got too expensive for them really quickly. Probably. But yeah, the score is so reminiscent of a Steven Spielberg kind of-

Craig: It is.

Todd: It almost doesn’t even belong in this movie. Like there’s just, it’s just like the movie’s a little too low budget for it, you know? That was kind of what I was thinking as I was watching those first 10 or 15 minutes or so, you know, when they’re playing around in the kitchen and having their family blah, blah, blah this, and the score is sweeping through and all that, I’m like, wow.

Craig: Yeah, I agree with you, but I will also say that, you know, they were very fortunate to have that because I feel like that’s 1 of the things in addition to some of the acting and stuff that really kind of elevates this movie. Yeah, it elevates it above where it really should have been. It should have just been a really goofy, silly kind of movie. Well, and the director, Stephen Herrick, this was his first directorial job, and then he went on to do Mr. Holland’s Opus, and Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and 1 of my favorite   movies of the 90s, Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead, and others. And so, you know, there was talent here, some of it, you know, burgeoning talent that maybe still had a ways to go to develop, but I think it shows.

Todd: It does, it

Craig: does. For a early effort for some of these people who went on to do some really good stuff, people who were paying attention hopefully saw, you know, there’s some good stuff going on here, and these people went on to do better things.

Todd: Yeah. Well, and we’re still talking about critters, right? We’re still getting sequels and TV things, so something hit here. We’ve gotten more critter’s sequels than gremlin sequels. Maybe there’s something to be said for that as well. All right, well, thank you again for listening to another episode. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend. You can find us online at our website, twoguyz.red40net.com. Or you can find us on Facebook to search for 2 Guys in a Chainsaw. You will find our podcast everywhere podcasts are listed. Subscribe to us there. Please send us a message,   let us know what you think as well as any requests that you may want for the near future. Until that next time, I’m Todd

Craig: and I’m Craig

Todd: with 2 Guys and a Chainsaw.