WNUF Halloween Special (2013)

Episode 510, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: Week three of Halloween. Spooky season here on Two Guys and a Chainsaw with our specific Halloween episodes. Just when we think we’ve found about all the Halloweeny themed episodes that we can, we’ve been doing this for what?

Six, e- t- 11 years? Is this our 11th year? Yeah, I 

Craig: I don’t know. 

Todd: It is. It’s our, it’s our 11th year, man. We, we try to do this every year, and we always find something. This one is the WNUF Halloween special from 2013. This one has been on our list for quite a while. I think every year somebody recommends it for us to do, and we came really close to doing it last year, but we swapped it out last minute, and this year we’re able to, to get to it.

Y- you know, I hadn’t really heard about this before. Honestly, this was something that our listeners had clued me into And aside from that, this isn’t like a thing that ever popped up for me on Netflix or anything like that. It’s not something that was coming through on lists for me. It’s listed in Wikipedia anyway as a comedy horror, analog horror film produced basically by one guy.

One guy directed it and enlisted a bunch of people to also direct little bits and pieces. And when I first saw this, I thought, “Oh, this will be fun to do,” because it looks surprisingly like, uh, the concept maybe anyway. It’s like found footage mixed with, um, maybe Ghost Watch. So we sat down to watch it.

It’s my first time seeing it. Craig, had you seen this before? 

Craig: No. I remember you bringing it up several times, and like you said, we just, it, it didn’t make the cut for whatever reason. But this was really kind of the first time that I looked into it. And you said found footage. It, it’s… I mean, I think it’s kind of meant to literally be like a found VHS tape.

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: We talk about this all the time, I mean, not all the time, but regularly, about how in our homes growing up, VHS was our media, and you would have tapes that would have multiple movies on them or tapes that you had taped off TV or whatever. And this appears to be that, like something that would be from somebody’s home media library.

A- and, and it happens to be a recording of the nightly news followed by a s- a special both on Halloween night. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And I thought that that concept was really clever. And so even going into it, I was kind of excited about that concept, and still am to some extent. I, I don’t know. I, I don’t, I… I’m not sure what I expected and, and I like, ultimately my verdict on the movie, I’m not really sure, ’cause it depends on what you’re looking for, and I, it almost, it depends on like how you approach it, like…

Right.

So I’m interested to hear what your thoughts were. 

Todd: I’m gonna go off of what you just said earlier about this being an actual tape that was found more or less. Uh, the… Did you ever go to garage sales and just buy random, like, VHS tapes that people had- No … just to take them home and see what was on them?

Clip: No. 

Todd: No? I, I did that every now and then. I was, I think, you know, if it was like a quarter or something like that. And, you know, people would just sell stuff in garage sales, and you’d just kind of secretly hope that you could take it home and maybe there’d be some porn on there or something. Never was, but it was always stuff like this, which you’re right, was s- this is e- exactly like something my sisters and I would have popped in because it’s got commercials and everything.

It’s something taped off a TV. In fact, the producers, I say his name, Chris LaMartina, they actually went to a VHS, like, they have these little conventions or something. And they dropped tapes of this just unceremoniously, just l- left them on tables and tossed them out of windows onto the street and stuff, trying to create a little whisper campaign about it, hoping that people would find it and check it out and w- and wonder about it and talk about it online or something.

Craig: And I like that. 

Todd: It’s such a great idea. 

Craig: I know. I think it’s a great idea, and if I found something like that, I, I would think it was really cool. I, so yeah, I like that whole concept of it. And honestly One of the things that I’m gonna give this movie a lot of credit for is if I did find a VH tape, VHS tape like that, and I popped it in, I, for the most part, like for most of the duration of this movie, I don’t think that I would question its authenticity- 

Todd: Right

Craig: at all. That is why the movie appeals to me on a certain level because it is so familiar. Now, I don’t know how familiar- 

Todd: Mm … 

Craig: this is gonna be to a wider audience or, you know, not, you know anybody outside of the United States. I have no idea. I live in rural America. The commercials and stuff are so authentic.

Like- Yeah. 

Todd: They really are. 

Craig: I, I, I never would’ve questioned… It, it, towards the end things start to get a little crazy, but up to a certain point it just feels very real. So that’s what I’m saying. Like, if you’re approaching it as, you know, like, “Ooh, I’m excited for a fun Halloween movie,” well- Mm … bad news.

Todd: It’s gonna be a lot of, uh, Bill’s Carpet Barn- Yeah. … or Token’s Arcade and Chesterfield Shopping Mall ads that you’re gonna be watching instead. 

Craig: A lot. A lot. 

Todd: Tons. Tons. 

Craig: But if you’re looking at it like they approached a project and they wanted to do it really well, they did. Like- They did … they did a really, really good job of doing, I think, what they were trying to do.

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And I may as well just get it out of the way now. I actually think that this is excellent as atmosphere. Like, again, at your Halloween party- I 

Todd: was just gonna say that … put it on. I was gonna preempt you and you fricking did it anyway. Yeah. I was literally, like one comment before your comment I was gonna say, “Craig, I’m gonna preempt you and I’m just gonna be like, if you wanna have this on during your Halloween party, it’s the perfect thing.”

Yeah. God. It is. It’s atmosphere. The whole movie’s just atmosphere, and that’s the atmosphere it is. It’s a tape that you just popped in that had been recorded off the TV in 1987. It’s not really spooky Halloween atmosphere. 

Craig: I mean, it gets a little spooky sometimes. Yeah. But honestly, like, like what the whole movie, I don’t even know how long it is, an hour and 23 minutes, so it’s short anyway, but like the actual footage of the special.

Like, I actually think that the newscast in the first 10 or 15 minutes or whatever is kind of the funniest part of the movie. Yeah. We can come back to it. But like the, like after that is this special, like this live special that they’re doing, and if you were to cut the movie so that it was really just the footage from the special without commercials or anything else, I think it would be like- 15, 20 minutes maybe If even 

Todd: that.

If even that. 

Craig: So the vast majority of the movie is other stuff. Yeah. Mostly commercials. 

Todd: I will give them a lot of cred- Now, I, some of the commercials are quite obviously pretty silly. L- you know, you talk about authenticity, you would have probably believed that it was a real thing. I think there probably would’ve been a point fairly early on where you would’ve been like, “Some of these commercials are just too on the nose and too silly to actually be real.”

I mean- I 

Craig: know, but some of the real ones were like that. 

Todd: Oh, yeah. I mean, your local TV commercials of, like, the local car dealership and stuff like that usually did some pretty wacky things. No, no, I get you. They used a lot of stock footage, you know, to put these together, and they shot the whole thing on actual VHS, and then apparently, like, copied it over two or three times to really degrade it.

Craig: Right, which gives it that authentic feel. Like, we would w- we watched things like this. Like- Oh, yeah … I, I look at it now and I’m like, “Oh my God, I can’t believe that this was just the standard of the quality of what we were watching- Right … all the time.” 

Todd: It was, though 

Craig: I know. Especially those tapes that you watched over and over again.

I do remember, like, certain tapes that we would watch over and over again. Eventually, like, the very top or the very bottom of the streen- screen would, like, start to stretch, like, far left or something. Mm-hmm. So, like, everybody would have, like, weird pointy side heads. 

Todd: Yeah. That’s true. 

Craig: Or, or like, eventually, like, the tracking would start to roll, and you would have to, like, try to, like, manual adjust the tracking to keep it from rolling.

Uh-huh. Oh man, we’re old. 

Todd: I know. 

Craig: But the… I like that about that. It’s nostalgic for me- Yeah … but I feel like it’s nostalgic for a very specific- Yeah … generation. Like a, a 10-year period. Those of us who specifically grew up in the 1980s, this is going to be really familiar, and just that familiarity is appealing to me.

It w- and, and I was really impressed. Like, the things- Yeah … you’ve already said, the authentes- authenticity of the content, but also the way that it’s presented, it really… Like, it feels like, uh, again, uh, let’s keep a cliche count. It, it feels like a time capsule kind of. Like, it, it- Right … it feels legit. It feels like you popped this tape into a VCR- 

Todd: Yeah

Craig: and that’s what you’re seeing. 

Todd: Yeah. Uh, 

Craig: throughout, throughout all of it. And, and the quality of the, the commercials, like, some of them look like they were made with, I don’t know, whatever they were making cheap commercials with back then. But it looks like the filmmakers took the time to authenticate it.

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Yes, it looks cheap, because it looked cheap back then. 

Todd: Yeah, yeah. It is 

Craig: 100%. But it looks authentic to the time, which I liked. 

Todd: That said, I was really hoping for something more. I was really hoping that as the commercials went on, maybe I would see some, some themes or, surfacing- Yes … or maybe something happening in the background of some of them, something that would s- Right

tie them together to a larger narrative, or maybe some little Easter eggs or something like that And, uh, and there isn’t any- No … as far as I can tell. 

Craig: Not that I… Me either. Right, and I was looking for that too, and I thought that that was, I mean, I guess maybe that wasn’t what they were going for, but I did think it was a missed opportunity.

Like especially- Hmm … since some of the commercials you see multiple times. Yes. The same one. 

Todd: Yes. And to be fair, and, and thankfully, some of them when they come on for the second time, there’s a fast forwarding. 

Craig: Uh-huh. Like 

Todd: somebody is fast forwarding through the tape. 

Craig: But you certainly see parts of it several times.

Yeah. And I kept thinking that too, I’m like, “Something’s gonna be different.” Mm-hmm. Like, there, or, or there’s gonna be some hint or… I, I, I expected maybe them to get darker as the movie went on- Right … like to suggest something strange was happening, but they don’t. 

Todd: Yeah. They don’t at all. Ugh, and, and there are a, a lot of them, and that was the other thing this reminded me of, just how chock-full of commercials television used to be.

Uh-huh. I mean, we bitch about, and I bitch about YouTube and Tubi and all the time, but honestly, it was, it was even worse when we were- Oh my gosh … watching TV. You know, 10 minutes would go by, you’re cut to like five minutes of commercials. Another s- didn’t even seem like another 10 minutes would go by, and you’re cut to a lot more commercials, and this, this was authentic in that way too.

Craig: Yeah. Yes, yeah. Oh. It, it really was. It, oh, it was crazy. And, and the commercials, even though some of them repeat, they’re, they’re fun because they are- 

Todd: They’re fun ’cause they’ll, they’re nostalgic … 

Craig: they’re nostalgic, and they’re like local and regional commercials. So super low budget, but, a- and so because they’re local or regional, you can believe that they’re real, they’re just not things that are in your area, you know?

Right. But, but they seem, but they’re familiar. They’re the types of commercials you would have seen for like, like you said, like Carpet Barns, but also like, oh gosh- 1-900 numbers, like 1-900-MONSTER and- 

Todd: Yes … 

Craig: I don’t know. There’s so many of them. I, I re- there’s a really funny one near the end for some weird off-brand wine cooler.

Like- 

Todd: Yeah. There’s one for tampons where two girls are playing tennis, which is such a cliche tampon commercial. There’s one for a pumpkin carving kit. So some of them are actually Halloween. Most of them are not. 

Craig: Right. 

Todd: Most of them don’t have anything to do with Halloween. They’re just normal commercials.

But some of them, again, like those local commercials would do, would be like, “Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. It’s Halloween. I hope you’re enjoying yourself.” “Come down and buy a car. We’re go- we have a spooky sale going on.” You know, that kind of thing. But then there were the drug commercials which brought me back.

Craig: Yes. 

Todd: There were several of those. But one of my favorites was there w- it was like some kids playing spin the bottle. 

Craig: Yes. 

Todd: And, uh, this guy comes on and is talking and he’s like, “It looks like it’s just a game, but it’s really a game of death.” And then you see that the bottle’s like aiming at different drugs.

Like, like they’re spinning the bottle to see which drug they’re gonna take. 

Craig: It’s like syringes, yeah. 

Todd: Yeah. Playing with drugs is playing with death. Sponsored by Parents Against Partying.

And there were just some little things like that in some of these that made you realize it was pretty silly. 

Craig: Well, it really is laughable now. Mm-hmm. But those… That’s what the commercials were like. 

Todd: They really were. 

Craig: They really were like that. 

Todd: We can’t say that enough. We probably said it too many times, but yes, these are very authentic commercials.

They will take you back. 

Clip: They think it’s no big deal, just harmless fun where everyone gets a turn. But they never bothered to check the rules and think they can stop any time they want There’s many ways to play, but they all lead to the same result. Game over. Playing with drugs is playing with death 

Craig: Seeing that one reminded me, like, i- it’s crazy how that was the big bad thing.

Like, “Drugs are gonna get your kids, and they’re gonna ruin your kids, and they’re gonna ruin…” They’re like the fear tactics that, that are still being used today. Like, it’s not necessarily drugs today, but it’s still the same thing. Yeah. You still see these commercials. They’re so crazy and stupid, and hopefully 40 years from now people will be laughing at them, but-

uh, it’s wild. Anyway. 

Todd: Well, it’s also the local news station, right? And that’s pretty much almost gone- 

Craig: Mm-hmm … 

Todd: the way of the dodo, to be honest. Everything is syndicated. Everybody’s just broadcasting the big news or whatever. But, uh, you used to have your… And in some markets you still do, but it’s pretty rare now.

Used to have your local anchor people who were not always the- Yeah … most professional, but they were trying their best, and they have these corny jokes that don’t land at all but are h- hilarious for that. And in this case, they’re dressed up for Halloween. She’s like a witch. He’s like a vampire. They’ve dressed the set behind them in Halloween, and they’re giving the news, and most of the news is also kinda Halloween-y.

And I liked this bit, and I know you wanted to talk about this, and I agree. This part in the beginning is almost more entertaining and interesting to me than the, quote-unquote, “main narrative” that begins afterwards when the actual special begins. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: It’s the news, and they tease this special where they’re gonna go live to a hau…

I mean, it’s very Ghostwatch. “We’re gonna tonight go live to a haunted house and investigate it with some paranormal researchers, and where this horrible thing occurred, and nobody’s been in this house in 20 years since these horrible murders happened. And we’re gonna go live and see if we can scare up the ghosts.

But first, here’s the news.” And it really runs the gamut, and it’s all Halloween-themed, and I loved it. 

Craig: Yeah. It was And super legitimate. Like, this- was the funniest part, but it still felt real. I was gonna say it reminded me, I, I was trying to look while you were talking, I was trying to look up the name of the actress.

I can’t remember her name, but Fred Willard, the anchor guy reminded me of… That’s his name, right? 

Todd: Oh, yeah. The actor Fred Willard? The com- 

Craig: Yes … comedic 

Todd: guy? Yeah, uh-huh. 

Craig: Mm-hmm. And, and it reminded me of the kind of back and forth that he had with, gosh, I can’t think of the name of the actress. She also played Effie Trinket in the Hunger, Hunger Game movies, but I can’t think of her name.

In the Pitch Perfect movies, they were commentators, and they had- Hmm … kind of this back and forth thing. Mm-hmm. And he’s good at that. He did the same thing in Best In Show. Like- Yes, yes … he’s really funny at that kind of back and forth. And this guy kind of reminded me of the Temu him. 

Todd: Yes. Exactly. He’s not funny, but he’s trying to be.

He’s cracking- Right … jokes that are just dumb.

Craig: And the, the, uh, his co-anchor was really funny too. Like- … obviously c- you know, kind of a, a stiff, you know, she’s in a, you know, a 1980s woman news anchor like blazer, skirt suit. But she’s trying to be fun for Halloween, you know? Like- Uh-huh. And they’re cr- like you said, they’re cracking corny jokes and laughing at each other.

Clip: Hey, Deborah, what’s a vampire’s worst nightmare? Oh, I don’t know, Gavin. Sunlight? Mm-mm. Tooth decay. Oh. And local dentist Dr. Stanley Allen knows plenty about that subject. 

Craig: But that, I think, was the most fun part. 

Todd: Yes. 

Craig: And like, yeah, all the, they, they, they do a live tour of a haunted house and go to a pumpkin patch at High Pike Farms.

That’s a funny coincidence. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Wasn’t High Pike the, an actor in, like, one of the last movies we just did? 

Todd: Yeah, in Hack-O-Lantern, the first one we did this season. High Pike. Yeah. Yeah. There’s a apparently a lot of little references to horror actors or horror l- B-movie actors or directors in here. I, I noticed a couple anyway, and then I went online and I saw a few more listed in the trivia.

Yeah, uh, they had these little packages that were so cool too, that are typical for this time. There’s the local policeman, Sergeant Barnhart or whatever, and he’s going to tell you that you need to be safe and inspect your candy. And he’s got these like, all these rules, right? Make sure that you wear bright clothing, have your flashlight, and then he talks about inspecting your candy so that you don’t end up eating a razor blade or a needle infected with the AIDS virus.

And as hilarious as that sounds now, this kind of shit people were literally saying. Like- Right … people would put razor blades in your candy. I 

Clip: know. 

Todd: Again, I’ve- we’ve said this a million times, but how in the world do you get a razor blade in an apple without anybody noticing? I just… The idea that people would randomly just do this shit, or put a needle infected with the AIDS virus 

Craig: Yeah 

Todd: Just to randomly fuck with kids.

Ugh. 

Craig: Yes, but those little segments were- 

Todd: Oh, they were so much fun … they were so 

Craig: funny. 

Todd: Even, even the ones that’s not, are not supposed to be funny, I was cracking up so hard. Like the horrible tragedy that had happened this year where this little Asian boy dressed up as G.I. Joe, wa- seven-year-old shows up at the doorstep of an Army veteran who has PTSD, and as soon as he answers the door he thinks he’s like a Viet Cong soldier and shoots him dead.

I couldn’t help but laugh when they showed the picture- I know … of this little kid in his outfit. 

Craig: And I had kind of forgotten about that. I guess there are some that are probably a little over the top. 

Todd: Oh, 

Craig: my God. But honestly, like, they, the, the people, the actors in these segments, these news segments play it so straight.

Yeah. Like, it could be real. Like, it see- Ugh … it seems, oh, that’s, that’s ridiculous. Surely they wouldn’t put that on the local news. But then you see the performances and you’re like, “Well, maybe.” 

Todd: Some of them, some of them for sure, although some of them I think are quite bad. You know, what I said a couple weeks ago when we were talking about the authenticity of somebody being interviewed, you know, in, in the last found footage movie we did.

Mm-hmm. And, and there were a few segments in here where I was like, “This actor c- is not convincingly being interviewed.” You know? Uh, when, when they interviewed, they said, “We, we’re, we need to make sure that we’re fair and balanced, and so amidst all the celebration and stuff we’re interviewing a local church group.”

And- 

Craig: Oh … 

Todd: they’re very much against Halloween and, and think that it’s the realm of Satan, and there’s a whole package on that as well. And God, the interview with that woman was god-awful. It, it didn’t, that didn’t work for me at all. 

Craig: And it was dumb. It was like a whole is Halloween Satanic? I guess this is, like, an anti-Halloween cult, right, or something?

Todd: Yeah, or, like, a local church group or something. 

Craig: Called Harvest or something. Yeah. And, and the woman’s like, “There are goblins in the candy.” What? What? But- 

Todd: People be praying all night at the Baptist church. I thought that would be something 

Craig: But it’s important. It is, isn’t it? 

Todd: It is kind of. I mean, it is. It, it does come back.

But I just thought it would come back in a more, I don’t know. I thought there’d be bits of it dripped here and there, like breadcrumbed out. The dentist interview with the local dentist who was doing trade in your candy for, uh- 

Craig: For money, and you would get a dollar for every pound of candy. Rip. 

Todd: Imagine.

Craig: Keep your candy. 

Todd: This guy. What is he gonna do with all that candy? That’s what I wanna know. 

Craig: Eat it. 

Todd: I, I didn’t find him- Obviously. Hand it out next Halloween. I didn’t find him to be very convincing as an actor either. He took me way out of it a little bit. I don’t know. I thought 

Clip: it was funny. 

Todd: I mean… 

Craig: See, because when you put…

I love it when you put non-actors, just random people off the street, I love when you put them on camera and they have something to do, because they don’t have any idea what they’re doing. 

Todd: Right. 

Craig: And so it, it always looks awkward and silly. And- Yeah … so I think, I, I thought it was funny. 

Todd: Okay. 

Craig: Oh. I, I, I mean, yeah, silly, but I don’t know.

I thought… I, I mean, the whole idea of it is stupid but again, these were the things that we were being told. Like, we were legit told to watch out for the razors. We were, like, “Don’t eat candy, your teeth will fall out.” Like, ugh. 

Todd: There was the big satanic panic as well, and later on- Yes. 

Craig: For real? 

Todd: Later on that g- there’s a package that gets cut in about that.

You know, they’re talking about, uh, local Satan w- devil worshipers and things like that, satanic activity happening lately. They talk about it so offhandedly like it’s just common knowledge, everybody knows it’s happening, but none of this shit was really happening. But God, it was on the news all the time, and talk shows, and- 

Craig: All the time 

Todd: Oh, it was crazy.

I also loved the commercial about the… It was, like, from the oil company, and they were like, “We’re helping to clean up the environment. Clean up the air.” That was hilarious. “Clean up the water from unavoidable accidental oil spills.” 

Craig: We’re all in this together. That was funny. Unavoidable accidental oil spills.

That was hilarious. I did like that one. I, well, I also liked how, again, this was good production on their part. The commercials early on are family-focused and family-friendly. Like, during the news segment- 

Todd: Hmm … 

Craig: it’s kids Halloween stuff. Right at the very end of the news, there’s a trailer for a movie called, like, Doggone It.

Todd: Uh-huh. 

Craig: I, I, I don’t even remember what it was about, but it was very dog-centric, but like- Yeah … a silly rom-com with a dog, very family. But then as the night goes on, then it starts getting into the 900 numbers. 

Todd: Strip club. 

Craig: And, right. Uh, which, which again, gave it some level of authenticity. But anyway, they sign off, unfortunately.

They reappear very briefly at the end. But they sign off, and then the special begins, and it’s, it’s advertised as, like, the first ever live call-in seance, and they talk about the- they’re gonna be in this house, and it’s got some history with, like, a, this… It’s, like, the spirit board murders or something happened there.

Todd: Mm. 

Craig: And we’re introduced to the producer, Veronica- 

Todd: Oh my 

Craig: God … who is basically just, like, on a headset in a van for most- Yeah … of the movie. But she shows up with a chainsaw Again, these little Little things? Yeah, these little production moments were so funny to me because I could see you doing this. 

Todd: Yeah.

Craig: Like, I could see you on the mic walking up to the van with a producer coming out with the chainsaw and you being like, “Veronica, what are you doing?” Like, this is so you.

Todd: I take that as a compliment.

Authentically dorky. You know, trying to spice up something to make it sound interesting, I l- I was a journalist, you know that. I worked for radio more than I worked for television, but I worked at a radio station. We did a live call-in show called Area Scene. Is that still going on, by the way? Do you know?

Craig: I don’t know. 

Todd: And down the road in Marceline, Missouri, I think I might have talked about this here before. I’ll talk about it again. We- we’ve got 500 episodes. Probably you haven’t heard this. The, down the road in Marceline, Missouri was Disney’s hometown, and they were pr- premiering a new VHS tape of Disney cartoons, like the Mickey cartoons that had not been re-released for like 20 years called Spirit of Mickey.

And they decided, the Disney company did this whole thing at the town where they were, you know, gonna have a little parade. They were gonna premiere it in the, the theater where Walt himself and with his brothers used to go see movies and all that stuff. And they had invited journalists down the day before to like walk them through how they could cover it, and they had vans there to take us from one event location to another on the day so that we could get everything in we needed to.

And we had the bright idea, we’re like, “Look, this time actually overlaps with our normal call-in show, so let’s make this a live thing.” So you know, I just had a cell phone and I was frantically trying to find people to interview and, you know, I kinda had to set up people the day before during that, that media tour that like, “Oh, this guy who’s there was like an expert.

He was doing like a biography on Walt Disney,” so that’s why he was there. And I was like, “Oh, maybe can I interview you tomorrow while we’re on the bus to tell me some facts about Walt Disney and la-di-da-di-da?” So I kinda had to figure out a whole bunch of shit just like this to fill the time and make it interesting, you know, as we were going live.

And you’re right, this is the kind of stuff you have to do, honestly. 

Craig: Well, right. And when I say it’s right up your alley, like especially like what this guy is doing is he’s doing a feature like a Halloween special on a local, like a famous local landmark. Like it’s- Right … this old spooky house where these murders took place.

Like you would eat this up and have great fun with it. 

Todd: Oh, yeah 

Craig: This guy’s kind of an asshole. 

Todd: He is. 

Craig: Like, not even- It’s- … it’s not even kind of. Like, he is an asshole. 

Todd: It’s so funny how much of an asshole he comes across, and they establish it really early, don’t they? Because they’ve got a little crowd of costumed revelers outside the front of this house, and he’s just doing filler.

You know, just interviewing each of them. “Do you believe in ghosts? Do you believe in ghosts?” And every time somebody responds anything like, “I believe in ghosts,” he’s almost making fun of them. Like, “Really?” 

Craig: Oh, 

Todd: yeah. “So that’s what you believe, 

Craig: huh?” Super condescending, right. My, my favorite then, but he goes, like he’s super…

Especially there’s one girl who’s kind of bubbly and nervous, and he’s like super condescending to her and telling her to calm down and stuff. And then right after that he’s like, “Let’s go to the vampire.” And he goes to this guy dressed as a vampire in the back who looks horrified, and he’s like, “What do you think about these murders?”

And the vampire’s like, “Somebody died in this house?”

And just looks horrified. And the guy’s like, “Uh, yeah,” and just walks away. Oh, this is gonna- Oh, boy. I thought that was hilarious. And, and then they give a bunch of exposition that ultimately, who cares? But I guess, what? Uh. There was a family that lived there, and there was an evil Ouija board and- 

Todd: Yeah. Boy found it, got obsessed with it, and it told him to do all these horrible things like steal and vandalize and whatever, and even commit murder.

And he ended up, like, axing his parents or something like that. 

Craig: Right. 

Todd: And then the house had been boarded up for 20 years, and now they’re opening it up again for the first time 

Craig: What happened to him? Did they say? I don’t remember 

Todd: I don’t remember. I honestly don’t. 

Craig: Yeah. I don’t know. 

Todd: Who cares? It doesn’t really matter.

He disappeared. Yeah, whatever. 

Craig: Because then Claire and Lewis arrive. Oh. Now these are, these are obvi- They’re supposed to be, like, the local Warrens, I think. Yeah. Or, like, the regional… Like, they’re like psychic investigators or whatever. Mm-hmm. And, and she’s the psychic, and he, I guess, is just her partner, and then their third partner is their cat, which is so funny.

Todd: The psychic cat. 

Craig: The cat is psychic, too. Oh, man. And it helps her.

Oh, gosh. I don’t- Yeah … find that really any more or less believable than ch- than she’s psychic. Like, if, Yeah … if she’s psychic, why can’t the cat be psychic? Sure. Exactly. Why not? 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: But it’s, but it’s hilarious. She can communicate with spirits, and Frank the butthole guy- Right … tells her she has a very pretty pussy.

Todd: I know. Oh, there are little moments like this. 

Craig: As much as this guy is an asshole, like you knew this guy too, right? Like I’m sure- Yeah … at some point, you know, working in production, you’ve known this guy. 

Todd: Oh, 

Craig: yeah. I am guessing this guy, like he was probably drunk, would be my guess. 

Todd: Right. He was probably pulled out of a, another job he’d rather be doing- Uh-huh

to do this instead. Yeah. He’s probably not getting paid extra for it. He’s bitter to just be there, honestly. I know, and I knew this guy, 100%. I’m not gonna name names, but- I literally knew a guy just like this. 

Craig: But, but basically this is when they start doing, you know, they’re gonna tour the house or whatever, and before they even go inside, there’s some disturbance.

Somebody shouts out something. 

Todd: There’s a little flicker of something in the window, and he’s like, “Oh my God, did you guys see that? There was something in the window. Okay, we’re gonna cut to a commercial, and we’ll be right back.” And by, by the way, we’re 40 minutes into the movie right, by now. We’re all, uh, yeah, like halfway through And finally we’re getting to what is ostensibly the main narrative or the thing that we’re all looking forward to, because this is the thing I thought shit was gonna go down.

And it’s interesting because we go through a series of events in the house, and after every event, we cut to commercial. So it doesn’t really build much tension because just like TV was, as soon as, as soon as some tension is built, you get interrupted- Mm-hmm … to these lame-ass commercials, and then you come back, and because it’s live, like five minutes have passed, and they’ve sort of sorted what just happened, and now everything’s kind of back to baseline in, in some way.

So it’s got very little time, because of its structure, to really have a satisfying horror narrative, I think- 

Craig: Right … 

Todd: you know, that we’re emotionally engaged with. 

Craig: Even worse, because it’s live television, any time something exciting happens, they immediately cut to commercial. 

Todd: Yeah, 

Craig: that’s 

Todd: what I mean. 

Craig: So, so every time you come back it’s like, “Hey, something crazy happened off-camera.”

Todd: Yeah. Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. “And here’s the result,” you know? “Oh, okay. Thanks.” Yeah. So we, we missed all the really good stuff. 

Craig: Pretty much, but that, but you- you’re right. Like, it feels, I don’t know what the right word is, stagey or episodic. Like it’s just- Yeah … one, like one setup to the next, but disjointed, so yeah, it cuts the tension.

And it doesn’t… I mean, I guess the stakes are ultimately kind of high. They go… It’s also silly, but they, they go in and he’s like, “What are you feeling?” And she’s like, “I need a minute.” He’s like, “What do you m- mean, what do you mean you need a minute? It’s a live show. How you feeling right now?” And she’s like, “Oh, I feel something.

Uh, is it bad?” 

Clip: There’s someone here. It’s ter- it’s terrible feeling. It’s terrible. It’s overwhelming. It’s overwhelming and, and terrible. It’s horrible. It’s full of malevolence. It, it’s not Donald It’s not his parents. Oh my, oh my. It is, it’s pure evil Now, Claire, Claire, are we in danger here? We’re not safe And maybe that will translate to some good ratings.

Todd: It’s, he’s pushing it along, you know, ’cause they’ve got, they’ve got- He’s trying 

Craig: his hardest- 

Todd: Mm-hmm … to push it 

Craig: along because it’s boring, but- 

Todd: And he’s trying to kinda play up the things that otherwise, you know, aren’t really happening. The cat runs upstairs and the, those two follow the cat, and now we get introduced to Father Joseph Matheson, a respected Catholic priest and exorcist.

And he’s a weird dude. He’s just, like, nervous and strange and- He 

Craig: seems very anxious, right? 

Todd: Yeah. He says he’s never… He admits, actually, he’s never actually performed an exorcism. You, you know, it’s not like he’s specially trained in exorcism. It’s just a, like, one of the things in their toolbox that they all kind of, priests all need to be able to deal with eventually.

And, you know, then they go to commercial, and then after the commercial it’s like, he’s like, “We’re back and we found some proof.” Like, upstairs the wo- they, they believe they found some definitive recordings, EVP recordings in the house. Well, okay. So last thing we knew, they were running upstairs after the cat.

Now, again, after just five minutes of commercials, we’re in a spot where they have recorded something off-camera, and they’re playing it back where he asks the house if there’s anything there, and there’s a voice that says, “Leave.” It’s just kind of a mess. 

Craig: It’s not super clear. 

Todd: Yeah. Again, it’s like he’s like, “Uh, did you hear that?

Did you hear that?” Frank’s like, “Eh, play it again.” Sure. And then they’re like, “Did you hear it?” He’s like, “I heard something.” And then he’s like, “Okay, yeah. Well, I got to admit I definitely heard ‘leave.'” Like, again, he’s just trying to move it along. And then they decide they’re gonna go to the basement, right?

Craig: Yes. 

Todd: And as they’re walking to the basement, there’s a noise back from where they were. 

Craig: Cut to commercial. 

Todd: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. They go back, the tape’s been smashed. Cut to commercial, and now they’re back, and it’s almost like that didn’t even happen. They’re already set up for a live call-in seance. 

Craig: And the s- the psychic guy is kinda pissed.

He’s like, “Who’s gonna pay for my stuff?” And Frank’s like, “I, I told you we’ll talk about it later.” 

Todd: Exactly. And this is, is so lame, this, this seance. There’s just some candles on a table and they’re just sitting around and they’ve got the, the call-in number at the bottom of the screen. But again, this is exactly how I would expect this to actually go.

They’re having a hard time getting anybody to call in, and everybody who calls in is just, like, a jokester. The first guy who calls in is like, “Iron Maiden rules!” 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: And the second person who calls in is like, “Hey, can you reach my grandmother and tell her she’s a bitch?”

They never get anybody who actually asks a question. 

Craig: No, but one of them, like, doesn’t somebody call and s- say you’re going to hell or- 

Todd: Yeah, it’s like those, it’s like those anti-Halloween people, yeah, calling in. 

Craig: Yeah. And there was a little disturbance outside the house. Somebody was heckling or something outside the house, too.

So there’s been two heckling things at this- Yeah … at this point. 

Todd: That’s true. 

Craig: Oh, God. Who, who cares? 

Todd: They, then they hear the cat meow and they leap up and, oh God, there, there’s the cat. Cut to commercial, right? And then as soon as you get back from the commercial, guess what’s happened? Cat cat is a bloody mess on the floor.

And, 

Craig: and the camera cuts to it, and the host is like, “Oh God, don’t, don’t show that. Don’t sh-

It’s… And I don’t know, it, it looks like it kind of exploded or somebody hit it with a- … comically large sledgehammer or something. 

Todd: It really is just a splat. But the Burgers are understandably freaking out, and they run out and we never see them again. And it cuts to the… You know, ’cause they don’t know what to do, so they cut to the producer and she’s like, “I really want to apologize for what you guys have seen tonight.

While we get things sorted, why don’t you watch this, uh, video from our local dentist?” The, the candy program. And again, for the second time- 

Craig: Doesn’t she also… Yeah, we, we do see the dentist one again, but doesn’t she also have a package about devil worshiping? 

Todd: Yeah, that comes next. Mm. 

Craig: And animal mutilation?

Yeah. Like, was that just filler? Were they plan- I don’t remember if they were plan- it just- 

Todd: I think it’s one of the things they planned to, to do to fill time, ’cause they knew shit wasn’t gonna happen in the house. But then once we g- once we see our thing on devil worship, we come back and now it’s just Frank and this, and this priest.

And Frank is like, “Perform an exorcism. You gotta perform an exorcism. Perform an exorcism.” And he’s like, “That’s what you’re here for.” And the priest doesn’t wanna do it, and he’s like, “You need to do it. That’s what you’re here for.” I mean, he’s really pushing him. Finally he’s like, “Okay, fine. I’ll perform an exorcism.”

He’s like, “That’s great. Now, when we come back from these commercials, Father Matheson will perform an exorcism.” But one of those ads is for the Burgers’ book, and that’s kinda fun That couple’s book 

Craig: Oh, yeah 

Todd: Yeah. Again, that Lorraine Warren. 

Craig: Mm-hmm. 

Todd: Then they’re back in the basement, and it’s just him and the guy, and he says to, asks him to start the exorcism, and he gets, like, from, “In the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Wait, what was that? There’s a noise, and it’s upstairs. And so they run up the stairs and they find they’re locked in the basement. And then the producer says they’re gonna send another camera in, and then they go to commercial. I 

Clip: know. 

Todd: And then when they come back, it’s the producer. She’s like, “All right, we’re gonna send our intern.”

I love that bit. We’re gonna send our intern in with a ca- like, you know what’s gonna happen now, right? And we get the camera’s eye view from the intern as he walks through, and all you can hear is just this very nervous breathing. And then- 

Craig: And he, he gets killed, doesn’t he, right away? 

Todd: Yeah. Like, the camera kind of s- swipes over, and you see this sort of, this flash of, like, the lower half of a person with an ax who suddenly comes out of a room and, and axes him.

Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah, and then the camera goes down, and then cut back to Frank and the priest, and the priest says he’s just an actor. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Like, they had hired this guy, and he, and he pees his pants. 

Todd: They really showed us that, didn’t they? 

Craig: Oh, 

Todd: yeah. Yeah. 

Craig: And the door opens, I guess. 

Todd: Uh-huh. 

Craig: And Frank, I thought, got hit with an ax.

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And then it goes to commercial, and then it, right in the middle of the commercial it goes, it cuts to technical difficulties, and then static, and then it comes back. It’s, it’s a different point of view. It’s, it’s, it’s not their cameraman. Somebody else is behind the camera, ’cause it, like the angles are all askew and stuff.

But, like, Frank is tied up with his mouth taped closed, and all of the guests that they’ve had all night are there and dead. Uh. And it turns out it was those religious cultists from- Uh-huh … earlier. The ones who were, like, anti… The ones who were all gathering at the church for their prayer thing or whatever.

They’re here, and they kill them all. 

Todd: God told them to do it, I guess. He cuts- they cut out Frank’s tongue. It’s the only real on-screen anything that we see happen. You know, that’s, that’s, like, a little disturbing bit, and then it goes to static again, and then it cuts back in to what must be weeks later. I think it’s, like, two weeks later or something, and it’s the newscasters again.

It’s, like, their m- nightly broadcast, but this is all normal now, and the guy is just like, “Yeah, so, uh, s- it’s been two weeks, and we d- we, we’re all broken up and shaken by what happened. Nobody knows where Frank is or, or those other people, and investigations are continuing.” So that tells you, right, that whatever that little clip was of Frank and the bodies- 

Craig: Uh-huh

Todd: it’s like that’s cut in by someone else, right? Like- 

Craig: Huh. I didn’t think about that … 

Todd: like, we’re watching the videotape that belongs to maybe the, the murderers. 

Craig: I didn’t think about that. I don’t know. ‘

Todd: Cause otherwise- 

Craig: Well, I… No, I, I don’t, I don’t know, because I feel like the crazy woman- Who’s either right in front of the camera or right behind the camera.

Right before it cuts out, she says, “From all your friends at WNUF, Happy Halloween,” and then it cuts to static. But I guess you’re saying if they don’t know where they are, then they must not have seen that footage. 

Todd: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. 

Craig: Hmm. I don’t know. 

Todd: Like in what- I’ll 

Craig: have to think about it … it, 

Todd: I thought ’cause it was surrounded by the static, right?

So it’s almost like, uh, the tape got- 

Craig: Yeah … 

Todd: like something got cut in and- Could be. Yeah. And then there’s, it’s so cute, right? A- again, kind of making fun of the, of the news. So he says this real somber thing, and then it kinda moves over to her, and she’s like all cheer. It’s like, “Well, the holidays are coming up soon.”

Yeah. 

Craig: Christmas is right around the corner. 

Todd: And cut. 

Craig: And then the tape cuts to static, yeah, and that’s the end. I don’t even remember, were there credits? I don’t even remember if there were credits or not. 

Todd: No credits. Not at all. 

Craig: It, it was cool. Like- 

Todd: Yeah … 

Craig: as a, like, as a project, I think it’s really cool. And I think that they set out to do something very specific, and I think they executed it really, really well.

I think they- Yes … were really successful in what they set out to do. 

Todd: I agree. 

Craig: It is not a sit-down, like- I don’t know, like- Get out your popcorn. 

Todd: It’s not one of 

Craig: those … yeah, I mean, I, like, if, if you want to have the kind of movie night where you put on a movie just to kind of have on while you talk, then, then yes.

But if you all wanna r- like, really sit down and watch a good movie, I wouldn’t recommend this. It, it, it- Yeah … ultimately, g- if you’re just sitting down and watching it start to finish, ultimately, I- it feels tedious. But I think in bits and pieces, it’s interesting and, and cool to look at. So again, like I said from the beginning, it just kind of depends on how you approach it.

I like it as an oddity. 

Clip: Yes. 

Craig: Um, and I would recommend it, I would very much recommend it in that capacity, especially for people who are familiar with that era. I think it’s really interesting and nostalgic and, and cool in that way. But it’s not, I don’t know, it’s, it, it’s, it’s not a super exciting experience.

Todd: It’s not. And, and it’s not really That creepy. I mean, it’s not scary. It just can’t be. I just don’t think that, you know, the narrative, it doesn’t really- it’s not enough, and it’s broken up too much. And ultimately, like you said, it’s really good for what it is, of what it’s trying to be, but it’s not like a movie you’re gonna sit down and it’s gonna freak you out and, you know.

But it, but it’s, it’s, you know, it’s got the Halloween vibes big time. 

Craig: It does. Mm-hmm. 

Todd: And there’s a sequel. Did you know that? 

Craig: I did. I, I, all, all I know about it is that it’s more geared towards the ’90s, so- 

Todd: Yeah … 

Craig: similar in concept, but just more ’90s. But yeah, that’s all I know about it. 

Todd: Apparently, the director decided to do that after he had finished Call Girl of Cthulhu Which I think we need to put on our list.

But, uh, yeah, he did that and then, uh, this one, the sequel’s called Out There Halloween Mega Tape, and supposedly it’s better. The response, the reviews say that it was, uh, d- okay, I, I’m just reading right here, Dread Central and National Scene. National Scene commented that, “It was much more polished than its predecessor,” and that it was, “structurally innovative and deeply re-watchable.”

Craig: Oh, cool. 

Todd: Yeah, so it kinda makes me wanna see it. Maybe next Halloween we throw this one on the list, you know? 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: Maybe- 

Craig: I would like to. 

Todd: Apparently that one follows, it’s a little bit more of like a Ricky Lake type or Jerry Springer type show, and they’re doing a live investigation of some alien encounters.

Craig: Oh, I love that. 

Todd: It sound all ve- all very ’90s, yeah, so could be f- could be fun. So l- let’s do that one next, next, uh, year. 

Craig: Okay. Sounds good. 

Todd: Well, guys, thank you so much. We’re still knee-deep in the Halloween season. Uh, whatever you are going out there to do, whatever you’re dressing up as, whatever other movies you’d like us to check out, drop us a line.

You know the drill, just Two Guys and a Chainsaw Podcast is all you have to Google. ChainsawHorror.com is our website. You can find our Facebook page, you can find our, our Instagram. Uh, you can also find our Patreon, Patreon.com/ChainsawPodcast for just five bucks a month. Chat with us back there. Get in our book club.

We’re doing Halloween books this year. It’s not too late to get in on the next one that we’re doing. It’s really, really fun. We chat about those, uh, every couple of weeks on a live Zoom call. And, uh, yeah, book clubs are fun. Reading’s good. Reading’s good. Don’t just watch. Read. But you can also listen to our uncut, unedited, uh, recordings that have a lot of personal stuff that we leave out, in case that interests you, and all the other things that just don’t make the cut here, and you get that before the actual episode comes out.

So it’s just a little something extra we do for our patrons, as well as minisodes. We got a whole… We’ve got over 60 minisodes backlogged up there on the site. Yeah, it’s a lot. I didn’t 

Craig: know that. 

Todd: And this Halloween we’ve been doing a bunch as well. We’ve been doing, uh, classic Halloween- 

Craig: Specials … 

Todd: cartoon specials, yeah.

It’s been our theme this year. So Patreon.com/ChainsawPodcast gives you access to all of that, plus our undying gratitude. Until next time, I’m Todd. 

Craig: And I’m Craig. 

Todd: With Two Guys and a Chainsaw.