Cutting Class (1989)

Episode 476, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podacst

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd. And 

Craig: I’m Craig. 

Todd: Well, this week it was my turn to pick and I thought we needed to go with something kind of light. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been just feeling a little weird and down lately. I think mostly it’s the news. I wasn’t in the mood for a real bleak horror movie or anything like that.

I wanted something that we could kind of have fun with. And I had this thing on my list that had been on my list for a while, and I don’t know if it was, uh, one of our more recent episodes that. Subconsciously spurred me to go back to this, but I chose 1989’s Cutting Class, and the reason I had this on my list is number one, at the time I put it on there, I had never heard of it before.

I knew I had never seen it before, but it has quite a lineup of stars in it, including a very, very, very young Brad Pitt. 

Craig: Mm-hmm. 

Todd: In one of his first screen rolls out, you know, outside of television. I didn’t really know much about it. I, I purposely went into this really not reading anything about it. I knew it was billed as a comedy slasher film, and so I kind of was figuring it would be like a horror comedy and I thought it would be fun and light for, and I imagined you hadn’t seen it before.

So had you seen it before? 

Craig: I don’t remember. It’s surprise, it would surprise me if I hadn’t just because. Of the fact that Brad Pitt is in it. Not like I’m a huge Brad Pitt fan or anything, but I like watching these old horror movies with people who then went on to have a lot of fame. 

Todd: Yeah, there’s so many.

Craig: Yeah. And, and there are, and there are other good people in this too. Not necessarily a-listers, but people, you’re definitely gonna recognize some of them more than others, but still. But if I have seen it. I didn’t remember it, so maybe I haven’t, ’cause I literally remembered nothing about it. 

Todd: Okay, cool.

Yeah, so when I proposed it, you were, you weren’t just like, oh yeah, that one you just really didn’t, didn’t know. 

Craig: No, no. I mean, I, I’ve known about it. I’ve been curious because it’s always shown up on those before they were stars horror movie lists. 

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: With like, you know, Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger and George Clooney and a bazillion other people who did horror before.

Hitting it big. So I knew it existed and I had seen like maybe short clips of him in it, but I don’t think I’d seen it. 

Todd: Okay, cool. Well, I’m so glad we’re talking about it because I had so much fun watching this. I have housemates with me right now for this month or so, and I told them I we’re watching a movie for the podcast if you wanna watch it.

And we had a blast laughing at this film. One of the biggest things I’m not quite sure of, I know it’s. It’s labeled as a horror comedy. I wasn’t sure how seriously we were supposed to take it. It is that bizarre. 

Craig: It was hard. Yeah. I, I couldn’t, I couldn’t figure, I couldn’t figure out the balance either, because it’s not goofy funny most of the time, but then they throw in really goofy jokes and they kind of don’t land like they, it doesn’t match up tonally.

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Like there’s a bunch of like dick jokes and stuff that kind of come out of nowhere and I’m like. Are we in the same movie like this is? I 

Todd: know, 

Craig: it’s weird. 

Todd: It really is weird. You know, that’s the weird thing. You know, we’ve done movies before that we suspected were only labeled comedies after. They were received as comedies, movies that were meant to be serious, but they were so inept that they are quite silly.

And then later on it’s like, oh, we meant for it to be silly all along. Ha ha, we’ve done horror comedies that just weren’t very funny. Or like you said, like didn’t quite land. And of course a lot of the horror that we’ve covered is low budget and ineptly done, and it’s unintentionally funny, and that is its own.

You know, genre. I, I’m really not sure where this fits in, like you said it just because it’s just so tonally inconsistent throughout. 

Craig: Yeah. Well this is the director’s first and only I think, directing credit, but he had done some serious stuff. Like didn’t he do like some writing on deliverance? I think maybe.

Todd: Yeah. He did some writing on, well, you’re talking about the right, yeah. The director was a additional crew on deliverance. 

Craig: Okay. Okay. 

Todd: The writer. 

Craig: The writer. Well, what I was going to say, we’re talking, you’re talking about like the, the humor and the jokes and stuff the writer went on to do salute your shorts.

Yeah. And I think that that tells you everything that you need to know. Maybe about the humor here. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: It’s kind of juvenile humor and I don’t know why it’s, doesn’t land. I think some of it, I don’t know. I think it’s a combination of a lot of things. The direction, the acting. It’s just like they, they’re, they’re not sure of what tone they’re going for.

Todd: Yeah. Oddly enough, the director, this is only his. Second movie. He’s uncredited as a director on Exorcist two. 

Craig: Okay. 

Todd: Both a writer and a director. I’m not sure what that means. You know, you never, you, you wonder what his involvement was if he was uncredited Right, 

Craig: right. 

Todd: Of his second unit director. He did little things like who knows what he did, but this was his only movie that he’s ever directed since then.

Although he did write screenplay for Excalibur and the Emerald Forest. Two movies I’m, I’m familiar with, but. That’s about it. So yeah, the, these two guys who wrote it and directed it didn’t really go on to do anything else we can judge this against necessarily, except, like you said, salute your shorts.

Craig: And I liked salute your shorts, but it was really, I mean, the whole point of it was it was juvenile, it’s 

Todd: dumb, 

Craig: right? 

Todd: But this isn’t that either, so, 

Craig: but it is in places. Okay, so this is also like the third Jill Solan movie. We’ve done an. In a row, like, I don’t know. 

Todd: Yeah, I swear. Total coincidence. 

Craig: It’s crazy.

She’s the lead in this movie, also Uhhuh, and her name is Paula, and she was reluctant to do the movie because she didn’t like the script, but I guess she was. Uh, brought in because she heard that Martin Mull and who’s the other big guy? Roddy McDowell. 

Todd: Roddy McDowell. Yeah. 

Craig: We’re both going to be in it. 

Todd: We probably know him best from Fright Night.

He was the, like the washed up actor, a horror host in that one. And, but I mean, he’s a veteran. 

Craig: Yeah. And he’s done a million things. 

Todd: Yeah. He is a veteran of the, of the stage and screen. Like he’s, 

Craig: and, and Martin Muell is a veteran comedic actor. Right? You know? Uh 

Todd: oh. Yeah. 

Craig: He’s done all of the like, oh, I can’t think of the guy’s name, but the Guffman Best in show type movies and mm-hmm.

He was on Roseanne and stuff. Hilarious. And these guys, like I said, not necessarily a-list, but reputable actors that people would definitely know. So I could understand why. She’d be like, okay, I’ll do, if they’re gonna do it, I’ll do it. Yeah. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: I wish that she. Had a crystal ball and could have seen into the future what these guys were going to do in this movie, because I think she would’ve reconsidered it.

Todd: Yeah, 

Craig: there’s, there’s one point in the movie where Roddy McDowell is in a, like a Chiquita banana wig looking into a mirror and he says, what are you doing? And I’m like, that is exactly right. What are you doing Roddy Mcow doing in this movie? Wow. That must’ve been a good check. Oh, it must’ve been a good check for a day’s work for each of them.

Todd: Oh my God. I was so embarrassed for Roddy McDowell in this. Not that he performed poorly. No, but what he was given to do was just like, I can’t even begin to describe it. We will eventually, but yeah. Very strange. Uh, and, and I wanted to even think, is this supposed to be parod? Slasher. Is this supposed to be like a, a comedy in that it’s a parodying slasher films?

I don’t know. It’s just so weird. The dialogue is strange too. You know, the opening credits are just like five minutes of this guy, of this paper boy throwing papers and eventually we get in on Paula and her dad. As you said, 

Clip: Martin Mul Bill, 

Todd: one of the, one of the first lines of the whole movie is he comes out and she’s like.

Daddy, he asked her to go. If she wants to come hunting with him or something, he’s gonna go hunting for like a week. 

Clip: Honey, this is the first time I’ve left you alone, 

Bernie. I should be worried. Daddy, you are a great district attorney, but you’re a lousy hunter, 

Todd: Jesus Christ, and he ends up going on his little hunting trip by himself and some unknown person shoots him with an arrow in the chest and he falls down in the swamp.

Craig: Yeah, this is, these are the first minutes of the movie and I. Thought, wow. Martin Mole was smart. Like, yeah, sign on for that. Get the check. I thought, I can’t believe they’re killing off the dad in the first scene. But it’s, and and just describing it doesn’t do it in any justice ’cause it’s all goofy. Like, yeah, he’s dressed ridiculously in, you know, all this hunting gear and like he wants to bag a mallard and he goes to like the bait shop and they.

Rub dirt on him, so he’ll smell like, like, it’s just all very silly. 

Todd: Yeah. There’s a character there who we never see again, who, it seems like they’re setting him up for something. Right. He takes him outside and he smears dirt on him and whatnot, and, and then we don’t, I don’t think we ever see that guy again.

It, yeah, it’s very silly. 

Craig: I, but I’m reading it in my notes and I’m thinking the way that it’s reading on the page, it sounds. Like a spoof, but it’s not shot like one, like it’s shot. Seriously. Like. Then we’re introduced to Dwight, played by a very young Brad Pitt, and he’s just the pretty douche bag from all of these movies and he drives his fast car around and he almost runs over a little kid and then like jokes about it.

Todd: Yeah. That was a strangely set up scene. Ugh. I mean, it was, it was just kind of dumb, right? The little kid on his Hot Wheels, who comes right out into the middle of the road, like you can see where this is going a mile away, and then he’s at school and his friend Brian is there and they exchanged some looks and I thought, okay, this is this guy.

They don’t like each other. Like Brad Pitts the nice guy Brian is. 

Craig: The broody. 

Todd: Brad Pitts the douche bag. Yeah. Brian’s the moody dude. And they both kind of are interested in Paula because Brian keeps giving her these looks, which are actually kind of creepy. 

Craig: Yeah, super creepy. 

Todd: And Brian is climbing the rope and Dwight comes over and as he starts yanking the rope around to mess with Brian and Brian falls off the rope and the dick coach comes over and yells at Brian.

For falling off the rope, I guess. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: And then later there at a hotdog place, one of those places where you could park and eat. This whole seed was ridiculous. 

Craig: I know, that’s what I’m saying. Like the right, like it seems like, I don’t know. Okay. So imagine this. Imagine you take Jill Solan out of this role and you put a young Anna Ferris in it.

I think that if they had played the comedy up more. It wouldn’t have been a lot more funny, but they’re just playing it straight. So when, when, I don’t know. Brad Pitt shows up and there’s some banter about her wanting his ring. Yeah. But he can, he’ll never give up his family ring or something. And he’s like, I’m gonna go get some food.

Do you want anything? And she’s like, yeah, I’m really in the mood for a hot dog. What? 

Todd: The way she says it, right? 

Craig: She says it kind of suggestively, but not really funny. 

Todd: Not suggestively enough. Yeah. 

Craig: To be funny and right. And then she’s like, what? I’m hungry. And then he walks away and then the other guy, Brian shows up and he is like, here, you can have my hot dog.

Like, come on. 

Todd: To which Brad Pitt shows up, gets really angry, tells her to get in the car, like, you know, like he’s her master to which she dutifully obeys, gets in the car, rolls up the window, and he tells him off. And again, it’s just like the whole district attorney line. This dialogue between the two of them is clearly meant for us to understand that Brian has been in a mental hospital.

Craig: Yeah, 

Todd: he’s back from a mental hospital for some unknown thing, but Dwight is making. Fun of him and and insulting him and the dialogue is stilted And Pitt’s acting is a little early. Right? It’s fine. A little early in his career. It’s, it’s fine. It’s all fine, but there’s definitely a big contrast between the two of them.

Craig: Sure. 

Todd: Anyway, and so he drives off. What we are going to find out later is that. They’re actually friends, 

Craig: or they used to be before Brian went into the hospital. 

Todd: Yeah. And if this should have been established in some way early on, I think 

Craig: Well, right, because just Dwight is outwardly mean to him initially.

Like he, he, yeah, he seems like he’s bullying him. You would never guess that they were friends. But, 

Todd: and Brian’s just quiet and creepy and creeping on his girlfriend. You know, it’s like it’s setting us up for this one thing and then suddenly we get new information that just changes that whole dynamic for us.

Craig: Right? And, and that’s, that’s later. And it, but it’s just so abrupt. It’s just so abrupt. They seem adversarial throughout the whole movie. And then there’s just one scene and I don’t wanna jump to it ’cause. Much later, but where it’s just like, oh yeah, we’re pals. Remember? Like, 

Todd: yeah. 

Craig: Anyway. Yeah, I, yeah. Okay.

So we find that out and then one of the weirdest, 

Todd: oh my God, 

Craig: and it’s doubly weird because it happens twice. Paula has a guy at her house. In this case it’s Dwight, and for some reason he. Puts on all of her dad’s clothes to seduce her. 

Todd: His suit? Yes. 

Craig: What, what would make that sexy in any way? 

Todd: Oh my God. 

Craig: And the suit’s like large on him.

So he goes, your, your dad’s a little bit bigger than me. But I’m bigger where it counts. Gross, like, 

Todd: yeah. And he lifts up. He lifts up his pants to make it perfectly clear, it looks down at his dick while they’re in bed, which causes her to jump on him. Oh my God, that’s 

Craig: so weird and gross. Weird. Whose idea was that?

Todd: Oh my God, my gosh. We were laughing. Hysterically, but we were also very confused. And then you get to Roddy McDowell Uhhuh, we’re at school and he’s the principal and it’s the, he’s the principal from Greece, you know where he, half of his shtick is, he’s getting on the intercom and he’s talking. To the students.

Do you remember those days? I don’t think they exist anymore. Right. Where all this information is conveyed over the school intercom, or is that still the case? 

Craig: Well, we still have one. They do like the announce, do it announcements and stuff over it. Yeah. 

Todd: In the morning, do they do like pledge of allegiance and things too?

Craig: Yes, it’s man, it’s legally mandated. Isn’t that gross? 

Todd: It is gross. I did not realize that was still a thing. Do you know that when I was in middle school? For reasons I still don’t understand. For some reason, the principal of the school had singled me out and asked me to come in and start doing the announcements.

For the school. So I did the Pledge of Allegiance and the announcements in the mornings of my middle school at the worst possible time for an adolescent boy to be speaking over the air to the entire school 

society. That’s funny. 

Todd: There were definitely moments where I would be like, and today at lunch, and I’d have to come back to a classroom full of kids who hated me.

Anyway. Hey Todd, welcome back. That’s 

Craig: hilarious.

Oh, it’s 

Todd: funny. Oh my God. Oh, the, 

Craig: the, the thing that the, so Roddy McDowell, this is his introduction. This is the first time you see him and like it, the camera pans to him in front of the microphone, and the very first thing that he does is he pulls a. Sock off of the microphone and sniffs it and it’s like, ah, what the fuck?

Like I 

Todd: still don’t understand that. 

Craig: What is happening? Whose sock is that? I feel like there are, there are, especially with him, but throughout the movie, there are a lot of things that are just apropos of nothing. Yeah. Like just something strange and bizarre that. Is not important and is never going to be explained, but ugh, what is happening?

Todd: Yeah, 

Craig: and, and then apparently at this high school, they use students as nude models. Not really nude, but as body models for their art class, which I thought she was going to get naked. I thought that that’s why I 

Todd: thought so too. Yeah. 

Craig: Brad Pitt was mad at her for a second, but yeah, Jill Sch wasn’t getting naked for this movie.

Todd: All of the adult. Men in this movie are gross. 

Craig: The, the teachers, well, first of all, all of the teachers in this high school are men. And the principal, the only woman I think is the vice principal. And yes, every single one of them is a lectures. Disgusting. Perv. 

Todd: Yeah. The, the art teacher, and again, I wasn’t sure how he was playing this at first.

I’m like, oh, he’s a lets perv, but then he’s just kind of strict. I was having a hard time nailing that one down. Anyway, he’s got a small role. She comes into the class and she is dressed in like a leotard, and he’s talking about how, okay, now you’re gonna look at the way the muscles are and the tone and all that, and the human body here.

Pick up this apple and he drops an apple in front of her so that she can bend over. And pick it up. And he’s kinda leering at her a bit while he does it, but he’s also talking to the class and he is walking around her and it’s like, look at the form and everything like that. And then out of nowhere, Brian shows up and he’s in the class.

He’s not a member of the class. But he’s snuck in. He’s been leering around the background. Does this guy just follow her around at school and sneak around? 

Craig: It seems that way he can like predetermine where she’s going to be because oftentimes he’ll just happen to be, yeah, 

Todd: yeah, exactly. He just sort of happened to be there and the, he’s kind of like stumbles forward, almost topples a statue, like a Venus statue or something over, and of course.

He’s wraps his arms around it and he is grabbing its boobs to pull it up and the art teacher goes, oh, it seems like you wanna be part of this class too. Okay, why don’t you come over here? Pulls him in, and then has her hold the apple up and have him reach for it. I don’t know. This guy’s like doesn’t have a lesson plan.

I think he’s just winging it here. But this puts the two of them together face to face, and while the teacher’s talking on and on, there’s this. Moment between the two of them where it looks like they’re about to kiss. 

Clip: Mm-hmm. 

Todd: And that was weird because again, the whole, we know that she’s got this boyfriend, we know he’s insanely jealous, but he’s be creepily leering at her.

And now it feels like she’s leaning into it a bit. 

Craig: Yeah. It doesn’t really make any sense. He’s super creepy. 

Todd: Yeah, 

Craig: he’s super creepy. He has. As far as I know, an unexplained scratch on his face throughout the whole movie. Do do we know what that was from? 

Todd: No, I don’t think so. 

Craig: He wears the same clothes every day, so he’s presumably homeless.

He follows her around everywhere she goes and just stares at her with a glaring emotionless. Stare that she like returns with batting eyes and smiles like, Ew. Like what about this is appealing to you? I mean, not that Brad Pitt is that much better, like he’s kind of dumb and douchey or whatever, but he’s not a big creeper.

Ugh. 

Todd: Yeah. Ugh. So then I think she walks outta the art classroom. Maybe she’s just walking down the hallway and the principal swings by and is like, stop by my office, will you? She says, why? And he is like, it’s a surprise. And I was like, what? 

Clip: Mm-hmm. 

Todd: Are we going there too? And so she goes into the principal’s office and at this point I kind of have to point out the sound is bad at moments of this movie.

Like it feels like they didn’t do audio cleanup or they didn’t have the mics close to them. And they’re, they’re moments where it’s just really echoy and sometimes even hard to hear, which makes the movie feel a little cheap at times. And this is one anyway, she ends up going to the principal’s office.

And the minute she steps in, he is just checking her out. He hands her a dress, and I guess it was the uniform. 

Craig: He’s hiding behind a plant at first. 

Todd: Oh God, yes, 

Craig: that’s right. A weirdo 

Todd: like, oh, she’s coming. She comes in, he comes out and he gives her this dress as though it’s like a gift. 

Craig: I think it was a cheerleading uniform, wasn’t it?

Todd: It is, but the way he presents it, it’s like, and I know you’ve been waiting for this. Here you go. I wanted to give it to you special. He’s, she’s like, oh, thank you very much. And he’s like, well, you’d like to put it on, wouldn’t you? And she’s like, oh. And he’s like, oh, that’s okay. You can put it on. I’ll turn away.

Oh God. And, but of course he doesn’t. She’s bending over as he’s checking out her underwear. It happens a couple times. Oh, I just, 

Craig: those are pretty leering shots too, like Oh 

Todd: yeah. They were very leering shots. We were checking out her underwear too, as the audience member, and it didn’t make me feel the least bit comfortable.

No, 

Craig: it was, it was. It felt dirty. 

Todd: Yeah, 

Craig: that it cuts to the art teacher who’s cleaning out the kiln, 

Todd: the walk-in kiln. 

Craig: Right, right. And so like, he’s already two thirds of the way in there, so kind of just like killer POV can just kind of nudge him in and close the door, and then he gets burnt up in there.

Todd: That was cool actually. I was like, oh, wow, I, I thought that was cool. It’s kind of scary. The music was good. The idea of this guy burning up in a kiln was pretty freaky. I liked that we got some killer POV, and it happens a few times. So somebody shot her dad, somebody pushed the art teacher in a kiln.

Who’s taking their revenge and why? We’re not 

Craig: right. 

Todd: We’re really not sure at this point. Could it be Brian? Could it be jealous? Dwight? 

Craig: Right? Dwight? Right. 

Todd: But neither of them feel like appropriate suspects at this point. 

Craig: Well, Brian’s too obvious. And then if it’s, if Brian’s too obvious, then that makes Dwight too obvious.

And then they are also throwing in like there’s a really spooky custodian who’s like aggressively creepy for absolutely no reason. 

Todd: Oh yeah. I think he’s supposed to be like a dude with PTSD or something. ’cause he’s kind of dressed in military gear and he kind of shouts things around almost like he’s in the military.

But God, if if this guy was in your school for one hour, you’d fire him. I don’t know why he’s employed at this school. 

Craig: There are a lot and, and there are like, it could be Roddy McDowell ’cause he’s weird and creepy and I have to admit that it, like I was never sure 

Todd: to that the movie gets some credit, but also it feels like they’re throwing out.

Aggressive red herrings to the point where we can’t necessarily get a handle on anybody’s character. Even Brad Pitt’s character, Dwight, you flip flop between thinking, oh, he’s not really that bad to like, oh, he’s clearly a douche bag. This scene with him and his girlfriend in the car, there’s probably two or three of them where there’s.

They’re sitting in the car they’re trying to make out or something like that, and they’re flirty and she’s nice and she’s responsive. And then they have some kind of fight. I don’t remember what it was about. Maybe she didn’t wanna make out in the middle of the day, Uhhuh. And so he leaps out and he’s angry.

He’s drinking beer right there on the school property. And he walks away, 

Dwight, come on. Don’t be mad.

Craig: Hey, I don’t get mad. 

I get even. 

Todd: Okay. 

Craig: Yeah. What does that even mean? 

Todd: Right? 

Craig: What do 

Todd: you get even? What are you 

Craig: gonna do? Reject her, like right, 

Todd: get even with her. What the hell, right? So yeah, everyone’s creeping on Paula. 

Craig: Paula is doing her homework. It’s nighttime now, and she hears like a knock on the door and she answers the door and there’s nobody there.

But Brian is clearly. Like creeping on her from behind a bush across the street. 

Todd: Yeah. Like a cartoon character. 

Craig: Yeah. And she kind of Googles like he and, and just goes back in to do her homework. Like, oh, isn’t that cute? He’s stalking me. 

Todd: And then the camera cuts to the, the exact same scene. I really think it was the same footage of her doing her homework at the table.

Another knock comes on the door and when she opens it, it’s Brad Pitt and two chicks, 

Craig: well, 

Todd: like her friend and somebody else. Right. 

Craig: No, it’s, it’s, it’s another, a couple. It’s a guy and a girl. Not that it really matters. 

Todd: Oh, that’s right. 

Craig: She’s got a redhead friend and then they’ve got another goofy guy friend.

Todd: Yeah. And they have a weird scene to, like, everything about this scene was awkward. I, I just remember it. I don’t have any notes about it. I just remember being strange because for some reason at this point, Brad Pitt is begging her for her key to the records of the school. And why does she have this? 

Craig: We actually saw the principal give it to her, but I don’t remember why.

No. Why on earth would she need the key? To the files. Like I could understand like maybe if she needed the key to the school so that she could let the cheerleading team in or something into something practice or something. Yeah. Right. But specifically the files, that was really odd. 

Todd: She wasn’t the daughter of the principal, was she?

Craig: No, her dad was the prosecuting attorney. 

Todd: So the next thing you know, there’s sneaking into the school, and I have no idea why 

Craig: they wanna look at Brian’s files. 

Todd: Yeah, but I mean, it’s kind of a very impulsive thing, right? I guess. 

Craig: Yeah, 

Todd: I guess. ’cause he’s back, they wanna look at the files and figure out more.

Craig: Well, and he is weird. I don’t know. 

Todd: So they break into the school. The janitor’s still there. I mean, 

Craig: of course there’s a very breakfast club moment where they’re like barely, you know, running through the halls, barely getting, not being caught by the custodian. 

Todd: And then they, they pull out the records.

Suddenly Brian’s in there too. How did Brian appear? 

Craig: He’s well. Okay. Right. They, they go in there to this, you know, office. And, and the lights are off. And they turn the lights on and they’re looking around and at one point the camera moves over to the water cooler and it’s just Brian’s head behind the water cooler.

Todd: Yes. 

Craig: So it looks like his giant head in the wa like, what was he sleeping in there? Like 

Todd: what? It’s, how did he fit? Behind the wa this water cooler, my, when we first see it is up against the wall. 

Craig: Yes. 

Todd: No, 

Craig: it 

Todd: didn’t any sense. And it’s just bubbling. Yeah. The next time we see it, suddenly his head is behind there and any idiot and, and her friend does go over to the water cooler to pour herself some water and doesn’t notice this guy.

Behind it, even though she’s staring right at it as she’s taking the, oh, it’s so dumb. Yeah, and that’s what I was like, is this supposed to be a comedy? It feels very cartoonish at this point. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: I don’t know. 

Craig: I think it is, but I just don’t think it lands. You know, Brian’s file says that he’s a violent schizophrenic and that he’d been going through shock treatment.

Todd: Oh yeah. 

Craig: And Dwight’s like, oh man. They shocked him every day like God. That sucks. That’s terrible. 

Todd: Brian’s school file is so detailed that it tells all of his medical history plus the exact voltage that he was shocked at every day. 

Craig: Yeah. Right. 

Todd: Even when they walk outta that room, Brian is around every corner.

Suddenly he disappears from the water cooler and reappears in the corner of a room that, uh, Paula wanders into. Then we cut to the swamp and Dad is still alive. 

Craig: Yeah. What? But even before that, like I just thought that it was hilarious. Like apparently an entire class is just going through a nature walk like in the swamp for no reason.

Todd: Yes. 

Craig: Like some of them have net. And some of them are just walking around and the teacher is like trudging through the knee deep marsh. And it’s like there’s not a species in here. I can’t identify like are they on like a hunt? Like are they supposed trying to catch things and then show the teacher and he’ll tell them what they are.

But the teacher steps on the, what I thought was the corpse of Martin Mull, but then he wakes up. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: I’m like, what? This is at least a day later and I couldn’t believe. 

Todd: Yeah. He’s been laying there all night, 

Craig: apparently, and I don’t know. They don’t see him except for it seems like Brian sees him. 

Todd: It, it appears to be, it’s kind of a fake out, right?

Like Brian walks past and then he kind of pauses. He doesn’t turn around, but he pauses and he kind of looks down into the side. And at this time I think Martin Mole is sort of trying to cry out, but you can barely hear it. And I think the T Steer even says Mother Nature cries to you. You know, it’s just jokey.

But then Brian bends down and he picks up a snake. So it’s like, right. No, he actually was. WA was interested in a snake that was down there and he walks off with the snake, so, 

Craig: right. 

Todd: Yeah. It’s a bit of a fake out moment. And then we are in the cheerleaders dressing room and no nudity. 

Craig: Not yet. There are some boobs later.

I think 

Todd: there will be no, there will be two boobs later of, but, but we were, we were shocked at this moment. Like all of us turned to each other and were like, almost said at the same time. Cheerleader’s dressing room and nobody’s naked. Very unusual, but they’re at the game. They’re at the God this’s the basketball game.

Big game. Oh my God, this is so all so bad. It is all so bad. Dad has taken Dwight aside. I think there was, there was a little scene where the dad was talking to this dude who looked very familiar. I looked him up. This black actor, Alexander Folk I think, who played Mr. Nicholson, who’s this recruiter. Who suddenly, again, it’s just like this sudden thing that is introduced is that now it’s very, very important to Dwight’s dad that Dwight get 

Craig: a basketball scholarship 

Todd: and this guy is there to watch the game, to see his performance and this guy’s been in Dream Girls, he’s been in all over television.

I don’t know, did you recognize him? I recognize his face. I was like, I’ve seen this guy in a lot of stuff and 

Craig: no, 

Todd: he’s been mostly on television and, and he was in the Last Star Fighter Christmas vacation Slumber Party, massacre three house. 

Craig: Oh yeah. I think he was maybe the cop at the end of Christmas vacation.

That sounds 

Todd: right. He was indeed. That sounds right. Indeed. Yep. But yeah, so he’s there and Brad Pitt’s playing basketball. All this is really poorly shot, I thought. And there’s her friend, what was her friend’s name? 

Craig: Colleen. It doesn’t matter her, her dumb 

Todd: whatever. 

Craig: Redhead 

Todd: friend. Her dumb. Takes off her panties like I’m gonna cheer without panties on.

So they do some cheering, and of course the principal and a bunch of guys, adults are leering at them from the crowd, noticing they don’t have panties on. Eventually they sit in the bleachers and one of her Colleen’s boyfriends or something like that comes up from underneath and is like teasing them from.

Under the bleachers and she makes some comment about that and he says something and he’s grabbing at her legs and things like that. Anyway, there’s a fight on the court and Dwight blows his chances at getting recruited and his dad gets very, very angry and Brian is still creeping. And so just far, so far, I was actually kind of getting impatient with the movie because most of what we’ve really seen are like random antics and those two guys who got killed, that felt like forever ago, but now her friend gets.

Pulled under the bleachers 

Craig: and it was funny to me because. It made it seem like they had established that he could like tickle her legs or grab her legs or whatever. Yeah. So then when somebody, when it happened again, I was assuming, oh, she’s going to think it’s her boyfriend. Right. But it’s not 

Todd: Right.

Craig: And whoever it is grabs her and like, not violently, but not gently either, kind of pulls her down through the bleachers all the way down. 

Todd: It’s awkward. 

Craig: Well, and I thought this is. This is great. This is a great kill. You know, she’s gonna be surprised. It’s not her boyfriend, it’s the killer. I thought the boyfriend will probably already be dead.

No. It was the boyfriend pulling her down. They just both then happen to get killed down there. 

Todd: That’s right. She witnesses him getting his throat slit, which again, I thought this was actually a pretty good kill. 

Craig: I still liked it. Yeah. 

Todd: Yeah. She’s facing him. It’s real dark. There’s just light, you know, coming through that slit in the bleachers.

It’s coming across both of their faces. So you can’t see the killer, but you can see him dragging the knife across his boyfriend’s throat and she’s screaming, but it’s at the exact same time that everybody’s cheering because the game has been won. So everybody’s standing and everybody’s cheering. So it’s that.

Classic. Nobody can hear her scream while she stands there a foot away from her boyfriend getting a throat slit, which is horrifying. And of course, you know, she gets killed too. We don’t really see that part, but we know, we know she’s gone, 

Craig: right? 

Todd: So anyway, then the two love birds are meeting again in the car.

Brad and Brad Pitt and his girlfriend, and there’s this hilarious shot while they’re making out in the car where Brian’s head just slowly raises up in the window and looks in on them. 

Craig: Yeah, and then he pounds on the door and walks away, which they totally see. So yeah, it’s so weird that like he’s just stalking them all the time and they know it and, oh well, the creepy custodian.

This what bothered me too. The creepy custodian mops up the blood and like sniffs it and shit, but doesn’t really say anything. 

Todd: Doesn’t do anything. Doesn’t really say anything. 

Craig: No. And we find out that they know that these kids are missing. The art teacher is missing, and maybe another teacher, I don’t remember, but they know people are missing and he’s mopping up all this blood and he just doesn’t say anything.

Yeah. 

Todd: I mean, it 

Craig: doesn’t make any sense. 

Todd: Also, the blood’s in the middle of the court. I’m not sure how that works, but it’s kinda lazy. You know, the blood would be under the bleachers, not in the middle of the court mixed with popcorn. 

Craig: Right. Well then we get to the scene that I was referring to later where first you see for.

For reasons unknown. Dwight drives his really nice car into the Auto Shop Bay at school. If I drew, if I drove a really nice car like that, the last place that I would have it worked on would be in the auto shop at a high school. Like, doesn’t make any sense. 

Todd: Good point. 

Craig: Yeah. Um, 

Todd: probably not qualified to work on a car like that, honestly.

Craig: No. He, Dr. He drives it in there and the, the teacher with the whole other rest of the class is like, today we’re gonna learn about breaks. And then he marches away with the rest of the class and only Brian. Slides under the car and starts messing with the brakes. But then Dwight slides under there with them, with him, and this is when it’s like they were best friends before.

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: I mean, I, I, Brad Pitt had mentioned it once before, he had said something like, I know he used to be friends. I know he used to hung out, hang out, but that was before Brian was like, what? Before the hospital? He is like, yeah, whatever. So I mean, we kind of knew that there had been a connection, but here it seems like they were like besties.

Todd: Yes. And then the conversation they have was starting to shock me because then Brian turns him and says, remember that time under my dad’s car? They took that part out and put it back in. I never told anybody about that, and I was going, is this supposed to be like, were they messing around? Did you, did you get that feeling from their conversation?

Craig: What 

Todd: do you mean? Did you not feel that messing 

Craig: around? 

Todd: Dude, I thought there was some serious homosexual con I boys experimenting or something going on with this, with this 

Craig: talk. I, yeah. I, well, I didn’t, I don’t, I didn’t read innuendo into that. I think what they, what he said was, remember that time we took my dad’s car apart and we didn’t put one part back in, I think is what he said.

Todd: Oh, no, dude. No. That’s not how, exactly how it went. 

Craig: Well, anyway, I, I see what you’re saying. I got the vibe, but I didn’t write down, I didn’t write down the dialogue, so I’ll take your word on it. But in my notes, I ra I wrote, wait. They tried to kill Brian’s dad. Right? 

Todd: I know. 

Craig: And we weren’t paying very, like I was paying attention, but I was also very sick and I wasn’t at the top of my game because that newspaper, the headline on the newspaper in the opening credits is Boy Who Killed Father Released From Hospital.

Todd: Yes. So now it. It seems like Dwight was an accomplice in this act of trying to kill Brian’s dad, and he took the, Brian took the full heat for it. That’s kind of what he’s saying, right? I never told anybody. 

Craig: Yeah, I guess it’s so weird. 

Todd: It’s just, it’s a lot to lay on you in a casual conversation between these two guys, especially when they’re having a moment.

Craig: Mm-hmm. 

Todd: I didn’t, I really didn’t know how to take that, but none of it felt good. 

Craig: No, it felt really strange. 

Todd: It’s confusing. 

Craig: At this point, I really started to feel like, I felt like Dwight was set up as a douche bag from the beginning, and at this point I started to feel sorry for him because Yeah, 

Todd: me 

Craig: too.

His dad was a real douche bag to him, and now there’s another scene where a teacher. Yells at him again for really no reason. And these teachers have been really kind of picking on him 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: The whole time. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And at first, you know, he’s kind of, you know, a jackass and you kind of think he deserves it or whatever.

But no, it really kind of seems like they’re singling him out and picking on him. Mm-hmm. And Brian actually stands up for him and they end up both getting kicked out of class and like they’re in the hallway. And Brian’s like, once friends always. Friends, right? 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And, and I see what you mean. Like I thought there is there more to this relationship than what we know.

I really did question that at some point and I, ugh, but I don’t know. I, I, I figured not, I figured shortly if that were the case, I would’ve known about it going in. The Brad Pitt Homo erotic, you know, horror movie that he made before. Oh. But uh, 

Todd: it gets those overtones here a little bit. I mean, I don’t think I was wrong in reading a little bit into this, but it doesn’t go anywhere, so maybe it was just, anyway, who cares that, that was that.

And they’re both sent to Mrs. Knox’s room where she has a very bizarre conversation with Brian. It’s so off. 

I think you’re like every other teenager who sat in that chair. You believe that the adult world is colluded to cause you harm when nothing could be further from the truth. We wanna help you take your mind and shape it.

We wanna put our values and virtues in your bodies so that we, the teachers can live on in future generations. Are you willing to accept what we have to give you? 

Craig: She’s basically saying like, we indoctrinate you. Yeah. And then he’s like, she’s like, are you willing to take what we have to give and. I don’t know.

He tells her to off or something. I don’t remember. 

Todd: That’s so weird. Now we also have a quick cutaway to, I don’t know, this is like two or three days later now. Paula’s dad has this is still in the swamp and he has the strength to crawl out of the swamp, get up and walk away. And then it cuts away from that.

It’s like the movie feels the need to remind us that her dad is still alive and he is making his way outta the swamp over the next couple days 

Craig: at right at 10 to 15 minute intervals, they will just cut to a scene with him where he is just trudging through the swamp. 

Todd: Which it makes even less sense every single time we see it because it’s like so much time has passed.

Craig: Ugh. I liked this next scene where there was just a random scene where I can never think of their names. Dwight and Paula are just walking through the gym and are accosted by the creepy custodian. 

Todd: Super intense. It 

Craig: was. And it is something like, I’m the only teacher you’ll ever remember. I’m the custodian of your fucking destiny.

And they’re like, and they literally walk away and she’s like, what’s with him? And he’s like, I don’t know. And they just walk away. They 

Todd: just. Go. This scene is also to remind us the custodian is still there and he’s still a potential killer. You know, it’s, that’s all this is for, I’m still thinking where are the bodies like by this point?

And then this next scene is, is something I hadn’t ever seen before in a horror movie. So I guess that was good. Death by Xerox. It was a new one. That one teacher who chewed out Brian, miss. Mrs. Knock, wanders to that room where the Xerox machine is and somebody comes up from behind her and shoves her face down onto the glass, and I guess presses it with enough force that it kills her.

I don’t really know how that’s supposed to work. 

Craig: I think he was bashing her head. 

Todd: Really 

Craig: against it, I think. 

Todd: Okay. I guess, 

Craig: and I feel like I have seen this before and, and probably this came before and I saw it later. Like I, it feels like a very Chucky thing to do. I don’t know. 

Todd: Oh, right. Maybe, 

Craig: but, uh, 

Todd: it, it, Xerox is a bunch of bloody faces of her.

Craig: Yeah. I liked it. 

Todd: Yeah. It was cool. 

Craig: Yeah. And you would recognize this woman too. I looked up her name. I think it was Nancy something. She’s really familiar. 

Todd: Nancy Fish. 

Craig: She’s in tons and tons of stuff. Yep. And I, I always like her. But then I feel like the next scene, or one of the next scenes is a small group of angry parents all holding up those photocopies of her like dead bloody face.

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And, uh, there’s. Gonna be a a mob, 

Todd: but how about that intense encounter that Brian has with Dwight in the sink, at the sink, in the bathroom? 

Craig: Oh, 

Todd: with those like electric guitar riffs and they’re splashing water on their faces. I swear. If there was ever homoerotic tension, it felt like this moment right here in this movie.

Craig: Well, Paula finds the body and screams 

Todd: finally, 

Craig: and Dwight, Dwight and Brian. Who I guess had been fighting in the bathroom. Is that what they were doing? 

Todd: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, they were, they had an intense moment. 

Craig: Dwight immediately points at Brian. It’s like it was him. It was him, and then there’s a big chase, and that’s when we see the principal in the Chiquita banana wig.

What was even what It’s just. I guess it’s just a gag and I should just get over it, but it just ca it comes out of nowhere and comes 

Todd: outta nowhere. It’s so silly. 

Craig: What are you doing 

Todd: in this intense, again, in the intense moment of the movie where we’re supposed to be, you know, it’s supposed to be a chase scene.

Well, it definitely broke the tension. So the principal’s in there playing dress up. Brian manages to sneak out, and now the cops are out with dogs. 

Craig: Mm-hmm. 

Todd: Looking for Brian in the, in the woods. And the dad is stumbling outta the woods too. 

Craig: Right. And there’s a manhunt. And yet they still don’t manage to stumble upon.

Martin Moll. 

Todd: A fricking dog finds Martin Moll. The hound dog finds him. Now that’s supposed to be how it works. So what happened after that where he still isn’t found? I have no idea. The dog ran back to his guy and kept going. I don’t get it. 

Craig: I don’t know. But this is where things start to get really funny to me because first, now there’s the angry parent meeting, and so Brian is on the run.

Brian is at Paula’s house. Throughout this whole movie, Brian is riding a, a bicycle that is clearly a girl’s bicycle. 

Todd: Yes, with the tassels hanging on. 

Craig: It has tassels and a banana seat, and there is absolutely no explanation of why he rides a female child’s bicycle. Anyway, Paula finds a recording of her dad apparently rehearsing his final argument.

In Brian’s prosecution, and he calls him like a monster and a murderer, and you have to put him away forever. 

Todd: It’s so dumb. She’s up in there reaching up for some of these papers in the cabinet, and the tape recorder falls out 

Craig: and hits her on the head. Like it literally, like, I don’t know if it literally hits her on the head, but that’s basically how it happens.

Like, yeah, just this. Bong. This like exposition just knocks her on the head. 

Todd: That’s exactly, because then it turns on the tape recorder, which happens to have the tape in it, which happens to be queued up at the right 

Craig: moment. Right? Yeah. And meanwhile, back at school, Brad Pitt is walking around reading Shakespeare to be or not to be because, and somebody’s like.

What are you doing? Doing theater now? And he’s like, well, I’m not gonna get a basketball scholarship. I guess I better try to get good grades somewhere. Oh my. Like God. So now all of a sudden, he’s an actor. And so she runs into play practice with a script that she has apparently typed out that she has transcribed from this tape that she just found.

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And she forces him to read this testimony. Where it comes out that he was the one who taught Brian how to cut the brakes on his dad’s car, which ultimately led to the dad’s death. And when Brian was asked to identify who had taught him how to cut the brakes, he said, friends, don’t betray friends. Or something along.

Todd: Yes. Then we cut to the girls’ locker room again, and this time 

Craig: boobs 

Todd: a pair of boobs right in front of us moving around and then. Moving out, uh, headless boobs go across the screen. So we got our nudity in, I guess that gave it an R rating or something. This was released direct to video, so it never made it to the theaters, believe it or not.

But it, it’s got what it needed. It’s got his blood. It’s got some F-bombs. It’s got some boobs. 

Craig: Yeah, 

Todd: just two very quickly. So then there’s the gym teacher who’s also creepy and weird and aggressive, like the gym teachers in these movies really are and is like mad at them. For some reason Brian and Dwight, right?

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: Or no? Dwight and Paula. I can’t remember. 

Craig: I don’t know. Who cares? 

Todd: Brian’s not there. He is on the run. 

Craig: Yeah, he Dwight’s gonna fail Jim for some, because he refuses to dress out. Like at this point they don’t even care about the writing. Like, 

Todd: yeah, 

Craig: they’ve gotta get Dwight back to the gym by himself later sometimes.

So they just. Stage this scene where he refuses to dress out for Jim. Yeah. So he has to come back the next day. It like, it’s so stupid. 

Todd: Well, it’s stupid because we’re going back into school antics again. People have been dying that a body’s been found. There’s kind of momentum on the plot and then, and she’s got this reveal for him and the script and all that, and then suddenly it’s.

The gym teacher in the gym, and like you said, it’s just they gotta get him there so they can do another kill. Dwight has a weird moment where the gym teacher is walking away and he notches a bow and arrow and aims it right at him. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: Before Paula runs up and he interrupts him and he shoots it away from him.

What, so again, I think another thing to just try to throw more suspicion on Dwight. 

Craig: Yes. 

Todd: Meanwhile, Paula’s dad is still crawling around in the mud. 

Craig: Oh God. I know it’s a dad’s still crawling. Yeah, well, Dwight shows up at Paula’s house drunk and feeling sorry for himself and she, but she sends him away and then we see somebody sneaks into her room and it’s Brian, who not only sneaks into her bedroom, but while she is like bathing her, like she’s not in the tub, like she’s washing her hair like over the bathtub, she’s.

Nude except for her panties. And he comes in and he’s like, I’m not gonna hurt you. Well, you could have knocked on the door or waited until she was not naked. This is very awkward. And she’s like, you’re the killer. He is like, no, I’m not. I just need your help finding the killer. And she’s like, I don’t believe you.

And he’s. Picks up these pair of scissors and he is very menacing. 

Todd: Yes. 

Craig: I mean, she doesn’t even have use of her hands ’cause she’s covering her boobs. It’s very weird. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And he, he picks up these scissors and she’s scared and he says, don’t be scared. And he gives her the scissors and says, if you really think I’m the killer, then just go ahead and kill me because if you think I’m the killer, then it’s me against the world.

It’s just me. So, but she doesn’t kill him, so apparently he just watches her sleep all night, taking a, taking a break. Only also to put on all of her dad’s clothes. 

Todd: Yes. What is, what was this all about? I dunno. Then we get the greatest kill scene in the movie. The movie is such a mess, but at least it’s got some fun kills and the coach is bouncing around on the trampoline.

Was this when he was supposed to meet up with Dwight? 

Craig: Yes. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And he does, he does meet up with Dwight. Dwight is still drunk in the morning. The only thing that we skipped that’s relevant is that Brian has a couple of those photocopies. Oh, yes. Of the teacher getting killed. 

Todd: Yes. 

Craig: And in one of them you can clearly see Dwight’s ring.

You know, like it’s been made very clear that this is his rink. Now, there were a couple of weird things about it. One. It didn’t look like the ring fit. It looked like the killer was wearing it on the middle digit of his finger. And the other thing that made me, again, I don’t know if this was intentional or not, if it was, it was smart.

So I think maybe it wasn’t. But when. The initial discussion about the ring when Paula wanted it, he was like, nobody’s ever getting my family ring. Mm. Like family ring. Like not his class ring, like his family ring. So I really thought when I saw this, I’m like, oh, it’s gonna be Dwight’s dad. Mm. I thought that that would’ve been a really good, 

Todd: oh, 

Craig: Mr.

X, because his dad is a big asshole and is super violent and 

Todd: yeah. 

Craig: Anyway, it’s not. It’s 

Todd: not.

But there’s a great killer, POV here where we see an American flag. The killer is holding an American flag out in front of the camera, approaching the coach as he’s bouncing on round on a trampoline. And I was like, oh my gosh, are we really gonna do this? And we are. The flag goes under the trampoline. We get some great shots from underneath it, as the coach is bouncing down.

And sure enough, he bounces right onto the upright flag and gets stabbed in the body. I, I loved that. 

Craig: Right. And it would, it would make the most sense that Dwight was the killer at this point. Yeah. ’cause he had, he’s still, he’s still drunk. It’s morning, but he’s still drunk. And he had met the coach and they had exchanged, but Dwight had marched off to go get dressed out and he said he would come back.

Then the murder happens immediately after. Through that. 

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: So, I mean, I don’t, I, I’m still thinking the movie is trying to misdirect like, again, that seems too obvious, but at this point I’m like, well, now we’re getting down to it. Like, 

Todd: oh God. Then, then it just goes crazy. Paula is now in school and she finally runs into her friend’s bodies in one of the closets.

They’re like tied up. They fall, she runs around the school’s dark. There are not many people there. She runs into the math teacher who just comes around the corner and he goes, it’s a dangerous place for a pretty girl. Like you also creeping on her. 

Clip: Mm-hmm. 

Todd: And she’s like, come follow me. There’s something.

And so he runs with her and they end up in a classroom and the doors are shut and they turn around and there is a puzzle on the board for them to solve. 

Clip: Mm-hmm. 

Todd: What is happening? When did this turn into saw? 

Clip: I know. 

Todd: The suddenly the door slam and each door, both of which by the way I’m pretty sure just lead out to the same hallway.

Craig: Yeah, I think so. 

Todd: But there’s a one painted on the one door and a two painted on the other door, and in between them is the wall with the blackboard on it. And there is a math puzzle for them to solve. And he, for a math teacher’s having a very hard time fretting over this puzzle and getting it right, the teacher gets it wrong.

Because of the time zone difference in the thing, and he goes to door one and Brian jumps out and says, wrong and axes him. 

Craig: Mm-hmm. 

Todd: Now we know Brian is the killer, 

Craig: right? And he like, he menace Paul. And he is like, you always liked, what’s his name better than me? Will you go out with me now? And then he is like, he has some monologue about how when he heard himself called a murderer, like it really clicked for him.

Like, you know, some people are doctors and some people are lawyers and he’s a murderer. He says, so. So don’t, so don’t take it personally or I kill you. I’m just doing my job. 

Todd: Oh my gosh, he is so stupid. He says something like, I became a murderer. Something was bad, but the hours were good. What? It’s really dumb.

Uh, and he talks about killing people beyond the confinements of time and space and changing the course of history forever. 

Craig: I must have completely zoned out because I don’t even remember that. And it probably is because it doesn’t make any sense. Like what? 

Todd: It’s so dumb. Yeah. 

Craig: God. 

Todd: Then Brad Pitt rushes into savor.

Why? He didn’t just run in through the already open door. I’ll never know. But instead, he smashes his way in through the closed door. Ah, there’s some chase. He grabs her. I think they end up back in the science room. This whole chasing is so absurd. I, I don’t understand why they aren’t able to get away, just run out of the school.

And also, where is everybody else? I have no idea. 

Craig: It’s, oh, I do know where everybody else is. Everybody else is at Mrs. Veka or whatever. Her memorial. 

Todd: Oh, okay. 

Craig: Because remember Brad Pitt said, I can’t come tomorrow. ’cause that’s her memorial. Oh. 

Todd: And 

Craig: he’s like, well, you’re gonna come back anyway. Not that it matters, but that’s where they are.

Todd: Well, they end up in the shop again. Right. And there’s just this insane, the machine shop. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: Yeah. And there’s this insane fight sequence. And I have to admit, I liked. The environment tools everywhere. They got a little bit of smokiness going on. They got things, kind of the camera’s moving, things are in the foreground, things are in the background.

It’s like it’s really close to being stylish, but something about the cinematography is just a little off and it doesn’t feel like it’s, it just doesn’t feel. Like it should, I don’t, I don’t know how to describe it. It just doesn’t, 

Craig: it doesn’t feel particularly well choreographed either. 

Todd: Yeah. Maybe that’s it.

Craig: But you’re right. It looks, the, the way you know it, the way that it’s shot, it looks like it should be exciting. It, it looks like this should be a fun set piece, but they just don’t really do a whole lot with it. 

Todd: No, and, and it’s got this same problem that a lot of these low budget movies have where they’re fighting and, and this girl is useless.

Stands there watching them as they fight, like pick something up and hit ’em over the head. You know, like 

Craig: they’re fighting with electrical tools and Brad Pitt at one point is like, unplug his drill or whatever. And so she like looks at every cord like 16 times, finally pulls one out and Brad Pitt’s thing goes off and they all look at each other like.

Who like, like it’s supposed to be a gag, but it just doesn’t play at all. It just 

Todd: doesn’t land for some reason. What, who said this line? I wrote it down last night. I had a strange tingle all over my body. Have you ever felt my tingle? 

Craig: That was pride. 

Todd: Oh my god. Oh my God. 

Craig: That was after, that was after he tried to get Dwight to kill her.

He’s like, Dwight, you’re just like me. You’re a killer. You kill her and you live and he’s got like. His head in like a fireplace tool. I don’t know. Weird. 

Todd: Oh, is it in a vice, right? 

Craig: Yeah. Well, and then he gets his head in a vice, and then that’s when he kisses Paul and says, have you ever felt my tingle? And that was, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a funnier line.

I laughed so hard. 

Todd: Oh my God. 

Craig: And I guess, I don’t know, she, he wants her to feel his tingle, I guess. Mm-hmm. And if she’ll feel it, then he’ll let Brad Pitt live. So she’s like, uh, okay. I’ll feel your tingle. And. He’s like, okay. And she’s like, just close your eyes. And he does for a second. And then he opens ’em and he is like, I couldn’t trust your dad.

Can I trust you? And she’s like, oh, I would never. And so he closes his eyes again and she, she grabs a hammer and takes the claw end of it and hits him in the head. Um, and then she says, no more around with my emotions. What whatcha talking about.

Todd: I laughed so hard at that I couldn’t understand 

Craig: this all and then, and then the creepy custodian comes in and says, what is this survival class? And then hits on her

Todd: and then says, well, I wouldn’t mind cleaning up after you at all, miss 

Craig: God. 

Todd: She walks away, oh my God. 

Craig: And then it’s like, there’s like cops and stuff and everything wraps up, and then Paula and Dwight are sitting alone in his convertible, and I think she says. I liked Brian. Like, what is that? What she said?

Something like that. I liked Brian, but now, now I like you or something. And then she’s like, I wanna go fast. So he throws his car into gear. We see Martin Mu stumbling around. The hills. And I thought for sure, I actually really, really hoped that they were gonna smash right into Martin Moul. 

Todd: I know. I was waiting for that.

I was really hoping for that too. He stumbles out, but it’s sort of like a, it’s sort bookended by, you know, the, the scene in the beginning with, he almost hit the kid where he skids out in front of Martin Mul just in time. 

Craig: Well, and his brakes were cut. His brakes were cut. Found 

Todd: out. Oh yeah. So there’s some tension.

Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah. So we find out that Brian had in fact cut his brakes too. But he, you’re right, he. Action movie maneuvers around Martin Mull, 

Todd: who then just kind of walks over to the car. God, he’s been, he’s been out, stumbling around for days without food, without water, through the woods and mud and whatever to make his way back to the house.

And he just kind of casually walks over and like, what are you doing? And she’s got, she’s got Brian’s blood all over her shirt and she’s 

Craig: like, and he’s like. Yeah. And he’s like, I’m gonna kill that, Brian so and so. And she says, don’t worry, we already took care of it. He’s dead. 

Todd: And he is like, oh, okay. What?

Wait a minute. What are you doing out here? You’re not cutting class, I hope. 

Craig: And she looks at him like, ah, dad. And it freezes on her 

Todd: dude. The three of us erupted when that freeze frame came on with the music. We were dying ’cause we called it. 

Craig: I’m glad that you had the opportunity to watch it with friends.

I’m sure that was a much more enjoyable experience. So more, 

Todd: so much fun. 

Craig: I was sick, like physically sick. I had to force myself to get out of bed. You poor guy to watch this movie. I was tired. I was dazed and confused. And I went back to bed immediately. I, I, at one point I walked out and to get a drink of water or something, and I said to Alan, I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to make it all the way through this movie.

No, no. But I, but I did. And I think under different circumstances I would’ve had a better time with it. I think there are things to laugh about, but, but. As you said from the beginning, I think that tonally there, it’s imbalanced. I, I don’t think that they were all on the same page in what it was supposed to be.

The script seemed like it was meant to be one thing, and then the way that it was executed didn’t seem. Right. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: So I don’t know. Yeah. But I mean, we’ve definitely a hundred bazillion times seen worse. 

Todd: Sure. 

Craig: Um, and I did, I, I actually really did enjoy seeing Brad Pitt in this early role. And is his acting amazing?

No. But you know, for a kid, yeah. A lot better than a lot of the acting we see in these low budget movies. 

Todd: It is, like I said, I mean, it’s silly enough that you kind of have some fun with it. But you’re still scratching your head, so I don’t know. Yeah, it, it’s, it’s an odd feeling watching this movie, but ultimately I had fun with it.

And like, like you said earlier, I think it’s much, much better to see with friends so that you can goof on it together and, and be in good spirits about it. I, I don’t know if we’ve reviewed one with such negative ratings on Rotten Tomatoes. I think it’s like a 14% and, 

Craig: oh, 

Todd: I don’t think it deserves that. No, but it, you know.

You, you got some good stars in here. You’ve got a goofiness about it. And I don’t know. I was entertained. Yeah, I was entertained. It’s not a good movie, but it was an entertaining movie to watch, I thought. Yeah, 

Craig: it’s light. Yeah, it’s fine. 

Todd: Yeah, I, I’d recommend it. 

Craig: I would too, 

Todd: if you’re into this sort of thing.

Yeah, for sure. Alright, well there we go. Thank you guys so much for joining us in this episode. If you enjoyed it, please share it with a friend. You can definitely find us online at our website, chainsaw horror.com, or just Google. Two guys in a Chainsaw podcast. You’ll find our Facebook page, our Instagram send us.

A message there. Let us know what you would like us to do. Also, head over to patreon.com/chainsaw podcast where you can get reviews that we do just written reviews, little life things that we talk about. Also, the complete unedited versions of our phone calls that lead to this podcast. All the stuff we cut out, all the personal stuff we talk about before and after.

We’ll be there and a book club. We’re reading books, uh, left and right and enjoying them. If, if you’re a reader and you like horror, go check us out over there. We have a nice little community going on with that and good friendship. We do zoom calls every now and then. It’s real fun. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: Until next time, I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig 

Todd: with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.