Hauntedween (1991)

Episode 463, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd. And I’m Craig. Happy Halloween. Craig. Happy Halloween. Yeah, we’ve been gearing up for it, right? We’ve had, uh, three interesting movies before this, Eddie. Here we are on the big day now. We had gone back and forth. I think we originally we’re talking about doing finally WNUF, Halloween Special, which has been on our list forever and looks very intriguing.

But it just so happened that I found this movie that has just kind of been released on Vinegar by Vinegar syndrome that, you know, vinegar Syndrome’s been putting out a lot of really obscure movies lately and giving them the really great cleanup treatment with extras and all kinds of stuff. And it just became available on Tubi as well.

And this looked like the kind of movie that we like to talk about because it is so obscure, kind of forgotten, reminded me a little bit of, um, scary Movie. You remember that one? I don’t know, put together as a labor of love by some well-meaning people and a whole bunch of people who’ve never acted before or acted since, or directed before, directed since, but it has a lot of heart to it, and at least that’s what I took out of this.

This is 1990 one’s haunted Ween.

Oh my gosh. No, I haven’t seen this movie before. Never even heard of it until a couple weeks ago when I cajoled Craig into letting us do this instead of WNUF. 

Craig: How do you feel about it? Well, I feel like that title is Titillating Haunted Ween.

Oh boy. Ooh. I think I may have seen this movie before. 

Todd: It has a mind of its own. Oh boy. Watch it rise from the, okay, nevermind. 

Craig: Yeah, no, of course. I, uh, I had never seen it, nor had I heard of it, and I didn’t even look at it or anything about it until, oh, like minutes before I watched it. Yeah. I don’t know. I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s definitely that’s fun and exciting that I’ve never heard of it.

I, it’s, it’s brand new, but it’s kinda rough. 

Todd: You remember Scary movie? The one about the kid who was freaking out all about, about the haunted house, and he goes in and then it turns out that I do not, no, I do not remember that at all. It, it was that movie that was just kind of put together. Eddie Munster was in it, an older Eddie Munster.

I believe you. I have no recollection of it. Oh my God. Okay. It was like a local haunted, no, I really want you to remember this. It was a local, haunted, haunted house. All right, fine. I’ll look it up. The kid is standing in line. Everything absolutely freaks him out. He goes through the haunted house. It appears that people are dying and somebody is going around killing them, and this kid meanwhile is just like flipping out over everything is scary for him.

Craig: Oh, okay. All right. Yes. Yeah, that when you were saying, yeah, when you were saying kid, I was thinking little kid. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Young adult, I guess. Yeah. I vaguely remember 

Todd: when I read the description of this and how it was made, it just reminded me of that this was something that was shot in Bowling Green, Kentucky, the director, writer, producer, all the same guy, Doug Robertson, never did anything after this or before it, but just wanted to put a movie together and basically had some rich parents and his parents friends were rich.

His father was a lawyer, his grandfather was a doctor. They used his family’s network to gather some money together and got his vision realized, and you know, the budget was low, but there are a ton of people in this and it’s clear that most of them. Are not professionals, but a lot of them were from the local university, university of Kentucky.

Right. Probably theater people. Quite a mix. Do you know there’s a whole documentary about the making of this on YouTube? No, it’s 45 minutes long. It’s just basically a whole bunch of behind the scenes footage interspersed with. At that time, interviews with the cast, there’s nothing modern, it’s all in the moment while they’re shooting the movie.

They pulled people aside to interview them, cast the crew, the director and all that stuff. And it’s kind of neat to see all the behind the scenes setup and stuff that went, that went on here. It was filmed in 1989, but it wasn’t released until 1991, so it just missed all the slasher craze before, you know, scream came in 96 to, to revitalize it.

So it sadly, I think the delay of the release probably didn’t get it. What it was hoping for as far as exposure goes. Obviously though this is a very amateurish movie, but I found it charming for that. 

Craig: If you’re gonna like the movie, it’s gonna be a so bad it’s good kind of thing, like Yeah, yeah. You’re gonna laugh at how bad it is, and I get it.

I, I just, uh, gosh, I don’t know. 

Todd: It was fine. This is like the Halloween movie equivalent of your local haunted house. You know, it’s not the big professional haunted house that you’ll drive to the big city for and pay a bunch of money that’s got, you know, millions of dollars invested in it. This is your local Kiwanis club that took the high school gym and made a haunted house out of it, and is is charging you five bucks to get in.

This is like the movie equivalent of that. I, I just see it as like a, a local labor of love from some very well-meaning people. It has some interesting. Things in it, and they’re copying a whole bunch of horror movies. Like there’s so many references and, and shots and stuff stolen from other movies in here, and it’s just kind of charming to see it happen.

Fun to watch. But you’re right. I mean, if you’re, if you’re watching this to see like a big professional production, that’s gonna be super scary and be twisty and you know, that’s not what this is. But I thought for Halloween, this is great. 

Craig: Yeah. Oh yeah. And there are definitely things I like about it. And there’s one part in particular that I really enjoyed and it wasn’t all the Boobs.

I know that was probably your favorite book. Oh, I thought you were gonna say The boobs. I mean, that’s great. Whatever. But no, it wasn’t that I, I see what they were going for and I think that it was fine. You know, it does feel reductive, but most. Slashers do like, right. It follows a very familiar formula, or it’s kind of a hodgepodge of many formulas, but that’s fine.

Most of them are to some extent. It reminded me a lot, you know, a second rate version of like Funhouse, Toby Hoopers. Fun house. Oh, yes, yes. Yeah. It reminded me quite a bit of that. But, and then, you know, we did that Linda Blair movie, like, I don’t remember what it’s called. Hell House, hell House or something like that.

Mm-hmm. Where, you know, a, a fraternity goes into a haunted house and get murdered, like. You know, we’ve, we’ve seen this kind of thing before. It is, I just don’t think that I could get past the amateur nature of it, and I wish that I could have had more fun with it. I don’t know. Again, I, I was totally, I was stone cold sober when I was watching it and by myself on my computer.

Like, that’s just not the right, that’s just not the right atmosphere. But there were the, like the, the actors were so amateur, and again, I don’t particularly care because like you said, this was, you know, just a bunch of people who were doing this. For the love of doing it, and I hope that they had a good time.

But there’s a lead guy, kind of this, you know, douchey frat guy Who’s the Kent, is that his name? The, the Kurt. Kurt. Kurt, yep. Mm-hmm. Kurt is the president of this fraternity and he’s got this girlfriend. Mel, I think Mel. Mm-hmm. And they’re both awful now. She’s gorgeous. And he’s gorgeous. They’re both very, they’re both very attractive people, but they’re terrible actors.

Oh, and there’s one scene where they’re meant to be having this. Serious heart to heart about their relationship. Yes. And, and the score, like the score is telling us that this is like very serious and it’s about their love and this is a romance and they’re talking back and forth and at one point you can see him have to stop himself from lipping her lines.

Like he, he starts to mouth her next line and has to stop himself. Yeah. And then her next line, he jumps and stops and lets her deliver it and then comes right back in, like, and that’s the take they used. Yeah.

Clip: Do you remember this summer when you had to leave My family’s vacation? Yeah. My dad needed some help on the farm. I know, and I can understand that, but it’s always something. What’s bothering you? I guess I’m just jealous of your friends. That’s okay. That’s normal. My friends are much cooler than your friends.

I’m serious. Kurt. Look, I really like what I’m doing here. These guys mean a lot to me. One day we’ll have a chance to do something for each other. I know, but I love you. Even if you do ignore me half the time, I’ll try harder. I’ll try to be more understanding. Tomorrow will go someplace. Just you and me. No fraternity.

That would be nice. 

Craig: That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about now. If you’re into just real, like if you really like really, really silly, there’s some really, really silly stuff in here. I know that we should really start that. You know that with the cold open or, or whatever. 

Todd: Yeah, maybe, 

Craig: but, 

Todd: so let’s do that.

Let’s do that. There’s like a 20 years ago title on the screen and there’s this kid standing outside this, it’s like a. Gate into a driveway that leads to a house. There’s a big sign at the top that says The Berber House. 

Craig: Yes. 

Todd: And this is all set against the backdrop of a complete ripoff of Carpenter’s Halloween score.

Yes. Yes. It’s like the score in reverse. It’s like instead of going up, the notes go down, but it’s kind of the same. And there’s some people driving in and giving this kid money and he puts a mask on. Sometimes when he is taking money from them and it’s just weirdly silent and people come by and are like, Hey, nice mask.

Looks real scary. And you know, the sheriff comes by and is like, Hey, how you doing? Eddie then drives by when he doesn’t talk to him, and then eventually it looks like he just wants to go up to the house. So he flips the sign. Closed and walks up the drive to the house where people are going inside and it’s called the House of Horrors.

And it’s just a farmhouse that has been obviously transformed into a haunted house by mm-hmm. Like again, I would say like the local Lions Club or something like that. Sure. And, uh, the guy at the front who’s scaring everybody before they go in says, Eddie, you know, you’re too young to work in here. Maybe next year.

And Eddie’s like clearly really into this ’cause he starts rehearsing that. Well those welcome instructions as he walks around the house, crawls under the crawl space, which becomes vents. Mm-hmm. Okay. And somehow gets into the house, into, I mean, this is not a huge looking house from the outside, but apparently there’s a room in there that’s gets overlooked a lot.

That’s the room he ends up in. And one of the girls kind of gets lost and wanders into that room. And, and I thought this girl was cute because she looked way too old for how she was acting. She was acting with this like really girly voice and like, oh, I’m so scared. But like, she looked like she was 16 at least.

Oh, I didn’t notice. She bumps into Eddie and. That freaks her out. And Eddie has led her into this room with a candle to, I guess she wants to get out of there, do you know the way out. And in the room he kind of locks her in somehow by closing a panel and then just chases her in circles around the room until he runs her into the corner where she gets impaled on a stake and it’s pretty bloody.

And I thought, did he mean to do that or was this an accident? But then he pulls a machete out from, I don’t know where he was hiding this thing I know. And then cuts her. Now we don’t see him cut her, but we see lots of blood squirting on him. 

Craig: Yeah, 

Todd: lots of blood. And he runs off into the cornfield, and as he trips and falls, a woman’s hand appears on his shoulder and goes.

Eddie, we need to go away for a while. Right. Turns out to be his mother and now we’re 20 years later now, I don’t know, 20 years ago already looked like the eighties, but apparently 20 years later it’s still the eighties as far as how everyone’s dressed and everything. 

Craig: Yeah. I was surprised this, this childhood trauma set up is so common, like, oh yeah.

To the point of cliche, but who cares? I was surprised, like when he backed her into the. I don’t know, huge spike sticking out of the wall. I thought it was an accident and I was like, oh, this is going to be tragic. You know, like he’s gonna be blamed for this. Right. And that’s what’s gonna push him over the edge.

No, it seems like he was a psycho right 

Todd: from the beginning, and I guess his mother was hanging out nearby and knew what went down in the room. I, I like, it’s kinda weird, 

Craig: I guess. I dunno. Well, that, I didn’t realize this until later in the movie, but that was their home. Like they lived there. Oh, they put on the haunted house every year.

So then they, they flee the mom. I don’t know if there was a dad, but we never see a dad. But, uh, it’s 20 years later and apparently Eddie and his mom, Eddie, who was a normal, very normal sized young person, is now a huge guy. Yeah, it seems like, but they don’t show us his face until near the very end of the movie.

I’m not really sure. Why, but whatever. But they live in a cabin in the woods, but she immediately dies of a heart attack and he finds her and says, mama, no.

No. And it like reverbs in the soundscape. It’s hilarious. Yeah. And then he throws her in a van and says, it’s time to go home. Mama. Like, yeah. Everything is such an obvious trope. Like the night he came home, like, Uhhuh, it’s time to go home, mama. 

Todd: I thought there were moments in this movie where the camera work was really impressive for, for this low budget.

That’s fair. And the, um, editing was kind of good too. Like the camera’s one of those always moving real h. Style, way of cinematography. You know, it actually does some complex movements through crowds and around corners and stuff that really elevated the movie above. For example, scary movie, which the camera was quite static most of the time in there.

And it, I think, in ways that one felt even more amateur than this one did. But yeah, and the, and the cutting was kind of cool too, where they were, you know, they cut between him chopping the wood and as they were slowly zooming in on. Her inside the house, and you know, the fact that they just didn’t show his face, which as you said, oddly enough, didn’t matter.

I didn’t know if at the very end when he finally pulls the mask off just before he bites it, if we were supposed to recognize him or there was supposed to be something significant about his face. No, I don’t think so. I don’t think so. So it’s just a, it’s just a thing. But yeah. So anyway, time to go home, mama.

And now we’re at Top Hill State College and there is a Pee Wee Herman lookalike. 

Craig: I know. What was that? That was so weird. Okay, so we, and and you’re right. I, I will give the movie credit for that. There is some good camera work it, the, the camera man or who, whoever’s operating the camera, navigates this camera through the door and then through this frat house.

But it’s like, it’s a frat party. Let us tell you. It’s a frat party by showing you a beer bong and having guys. Dump their beers, you know, conspicuously on the breasts of the girls that they’re talking to who are wearing white t-shirts, and the girls are like, oh, it’s so cold. Like, and look at my tits.

Like, and then got, I can’t even, and, and then a pee wee Herman lookalike. For, for no reason and like no. Is he doing, is he doing a Peewee Herman impression or are we, are we just to believe that this is Peewee Herman’s College? I don’t, 

Todd: I feel like it was just a guy who was like, Hey, I can do a Peewee Herman impression, and the director’s like, all right, why don’t you just go with that?

For 

Clip: the whole 

Todd: movie. It’ll be funny. We’ll put you in a couple scenes. He’s just in a few scenes, but it’s, I was loved it that he got a little bit more action toward the end. That was kind of nice. But yeah, it’s just they move from person to person to person. And it’s all these little scripted bits of zaniness, you know, before our main guy comes in to, uh, get everyone’s attention and read a letter from the national 

Craig: and the jokes.

But even like, there’s jokes, but the jokes are so. Stupid. Like, yeah, they’re so bad. Like, like one of the jokes is he’s like, I have this important letter. I found it in so-and-so’s shoe. And the guy’s like, well, I saw the letter and it was thick, and I had a hole in my shoe and I had to patch it. Like, that’s, that’s, that’s a joke.

Yeah. That’s not funny. That’s just stupid. I don’t know. The laugh track tells me otherwise. Oh boy. It’s horrible. And so this dumb, dumb curt, this, this hot, dumb dumb gets up in front, like, and I see what they’re going for. They’re going for animal house, but it’s just so, the acting is terrible. It’s, it’s what you would get if you got a bunch of.

College kids who had never acted Yeah. You know, got them kind of drunk and said, okay, pretend that you’re dancing and laughing and having a good time. Like it just looks completely, it looks terrible. And so, but he gets up and he’s like trying to rally the troops or whatever, 

Clip: sister, how are we?

The Sigma five have always been in front of the rest. It is a pleasure to be your leader.

Alright. Quit it. Quit it. Quit it. Quit it.

This letter. Is 

Craig: from our national headquarters, even though he’s not taking it seriously at all. Yeah. This letter tells them that they’re gonna lose their charter because they haven’t been paying their dues and they owe like $3,000 or $4,000 or something. I don’t know. But none of them really seem particularly concerned about it.

Like, 

Todd: no, nobody cares. It’s like they’ve been putting this off for as, for as long as they have, and they’re just gonna keep doing it again. I was like, what’s the point of this scene? 

Craig: Well, and then like, he, like evangelizes, like he takes on like he’s mocking like, uh, an evangelist looking for money and. I would bet $10 that he was reading off cue cards.

Oh. I don’t think he could memorize that whole thing. And he was looking off camera. I think he was reading that speech off cue cards. You’re probably 

Todd: right. You’re probably right. Oh. But his girlfriend, Mel comes over. That’s when we get introduced to her and they’re, they’re little relat. They’re just paper cut out actors being pushed together and like, I mean, it just, it’s just so silly.

It’s dumb. It’s so dumb. She takes ’em outside and they sit down and their dialogue, why, why can’t we just do things together? We used to do a lot together before you became president. And he’s like, yeah, I don’t know. Being president takes a lot of time 

Craig: and she says, I, I think I’m just jealous of your friends.

And he says, oh, well that’s normal. My friends are way cooler than yours. 

Todd: And it’s so slow. There’s like a five second pause between every lie and it’s so slow. And then she gets up and walks, you know, to look away and stand against the post. And then he comes over to her and it’s like they’re trying to be dramatic, but they just don’t have the charisma to, to pull it off, you know?

Craig: And the, the score is not only generic and annoying, but it’s also really loud. Like I was listening to it in my earbuds and I could hear what they were saying. I’d be exaggerating if I said I couldn’t, but the score was really loud. I was like, tone it down. Oh man. And then, so I don’t know, they, they just kinda leave it there.

And then he calls a meeting of the dumb dumbs and there’s. A guy named Hanks and a guy named Listen, and a guy named Jack. Now all three of these guys, like I was trying, how am I gonna remember who these guys are? 

Todd: Wins. He was Winston, I think. Who was Winston? You said, listen. No, it’s Listen, 

Craig: listen. Really?

Yeah, yeah. Oh God. Look at the IMDB. Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. So this is set in Kentucky and some of the actors are just students of the University of Kentucky or a nearby college, and you can tell, and so some of the accents are. Legit and real. Then you have Hanks. Yeah. I don’t know what Hanks was doing, but he could be real.

He was talking in the Royce like this the whole time. Like that was his real voice. Like, 

Todd: I don’t know. I mean, have you ever been to Kentucky? You would be surprised. No. It was so affected. He felt like it was affected, but there were moments where I thought a a about halfway through the movie, I thought maybe this is just a real down, down home Kentucky boy, I don’t know.

Craig: I think that it was just a gag that he committed to like, I’m gonna do this, the whole movie. This is 

Clip: gonna be my character, man. I wrote him a letter and told him we were having a few problems. Well, Hanks, what did you say in the letter to whom it might concern? Mine were having a few problems sincerely.

Hank’s Treasure. 

Todd: I found him grading at first, and then as the movie went on, I kind of actually found him Charm. I, I liked him. I, I, he turned out to be like my favorite character. I had the same experience by the end, 

Craig: I was like, all right, I like this guy. It’s like he got, even though he’s a total douche bag, but yeah, the, he kinda grew on me.

Todd: He did. He he grew on you. He, he’s like. He got a chill about him, I think, you know, where suddenly it was like just one of these casually funny guys, and I was like, all right, I can get into this. And his stuff was, you know, halfway funny. I would say, you know, about half the time his jokes were, nothing was like har hardy, har horror, but 

Craig: eh, 

Todd: I got a grin or two out of, out of his antics.

Craig: I did too. And I, I guess maybe I should be appreciative that. If he was gonna go with the gag, that he stuck with it. Because initially I was like, oh my God, this is so stupid. And then as it went on, I was like, I don’t know. He is kind of charming. Whatever. Well, their pow wow was interesting, right? Because it’s like, yeah, uh, yeah, 

Todd: they’re talking about how they need to raise money and they’re like, well, we can have a party.

We can charge people for it. And, and he’s like, well, I hate to charge people for a party. I’m like, what fraternity is this? What fraternity doesn’t charge people for a party? And you just had a party. You could have, you could have charged for that. What’s going on? 

Craig: Yes. Here’s something that bothers me about this movie in general.

They need all this money and so they, you know, they’ve never charged people for a party before, which is ludicrous. But secondly, they go on to throw two more. Big, big parties and they charge for one of them, like $3 or something. Yeah. And for the haunted house, eventually they charge $5 per person. Now I realize that this is the eighties or nineties or whatever, so that it’s different than now.

But still what bothered me was. They’re charging people either $3 or $5, but then they’re providing all the booze. And at one point this girl is barbecuing like 15 chickens on a barbecue. I’m like, you guys, you are not making any money here. You are losing money on this fundraiser. 

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: Uh, anyway, that bothered me, but it’s okay.

Todd: Maybe they stole all the booze. Who knows? Maybe Well, and then Kurt and Mel are at the lake. They decide they need to get away for no reason. For no reason. They’re at the lake and they are bronzed. They are bronzed, they’re laying down on, oh my 

Craig: God. He looked like he had been smeared in mud or something. I didn’t know what was happening.

Todd: Right. And, and of course, like she’s laying down, she turns over and he, she’s like, can you put some sunscreen on me? And so he undoes the back of her bra. I saw where this was going. And then he starts smearing, uh, the sunscreen on the back and then a bunch of wild people on the pontoon boat. Pull up. And apparently this is threatening and upsetting to her because I guess the idea is like he promised her they would get some alone time like she wanted, right?

And these people surprise me. He’s like, oh, I swear it wasn’t me. But that allows her to spring up so that we can see her boobs, first boobs of the movie. And she covers up real fast. And then the second and third set of boobs comes right in on the pontoon boat. I know these girls are just hanging out on the 

Craig: pontoon with their tits out and that’s fine.

I don’t have any problem with it. I’m fine with that. It’s just funny. It’s funny, these guys, I, I’ll believe that they’re cool because they’re fun and funny, but these are not, like, aside from the, the main guy, it’s not like these guys are like beefcakes. For the most part. They’re, they’re kinda average, nerdy looking guys and these girls are just all over them.

Tits out. I mean, good for you. 

Todd: Oh, I mean, obviously it’s checking boxes. Uh, I was surprised that a movie like this had tits, honestly. I mean, they usually, with these low budget labor of love kind of movies, they can’t necessarily get anybody to do that sort of thing. So I thought, you know, three sets here we get more later.

I was impressed. I mean that, that was one up over scary movie as far as checking the boxes. They were good boobs too. They were, they were. I was impressed with all of ’em. Honestly. If I had to rate them, I for amateur boobs. Amateur, they did. They were good. They must have auditioned those boobs. I don’t know.

And, and so he is like, Mel, I had no idea these guys were gonna be here. And she’s so offended. So then he is like, wait, let’s just go for a drive on the other side of the lake. And so they’re in there. Cor, was it a Corvette? 

Craig: A Corvette. Oh, it was like a commercial for Corvette. It’s what it looked like. Oh, there’s 

Todd: so many commercials in here.

There’s also like commercial for rc, I think. 

Craig: Dominoes. Yeah. Um, they did a lot of front facing logos. Yeah. 

Todd: The subway. Subway, it reminded me the old subway cups. And then at one point a, a girl, very obviously, back to the camera, tacking up the flyer on when they’re on the college campus, has the giant RC Cola logo on the back of her shirt.

I mean, we’d seen enough RC Cola cans facing the camera and then it’s just BAM logo on the back of my shirt. It’s so obvious. But again, did this low budget labor of love movie, get corporate sponsorship. 

Craig: No, surely not. They just didn’t care like you think. They, they, I don’t know. I, I would just think that they, either they weren’t thinking about it and weren’t experienced enough to know that they could get in trouble for doing that.

I think that’s what it was. They just, or they weren’t thinking about it. 

Todd: Do you think they worked a deal with like, the local distributor to like, help provide craft services? Like with, 

Craig: with rc that wouldn’t surprise me. ’cause RC pops up more than once. Yeah. A guy, a, a guy who looks like a middle aged guy at the first.

Party, I think is wearing an RC like delivery. Guy jacket. So maybe local distributor there, maybe. I don’t know. I think it’s gotta be something, but surely not Domino’s in Subway, right? I don’t know. Who knows? Whatever. Who cares? Anyway, so they drive to the other side of the lake where apparently the Berber house is the old Berber house, and he’s like, I’ve never seen this before.

Todd: Really? 

Craig: Are you just driving around on random? That you’ve never been on before. Like you go to college here, it’s you. You hang out at this lake. It’s just on the other side. Like 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: It’s like it materialized out of nowhere, 

Todd: but he knows about it. He’s like, oh, it’s the old Berber house. Yeah. He looks in the window and And then we get the creepiness of that.

You expect there’s a creepy looking dude. Killer OV outta the 

Craig: window. 

Todd: Yeah. Lots of killer POV. 

Craig: Yeah. We get glimpses of this guy and the first time they show him, it’s just for a split second. And then just a few, you know, a minute or so later, you get to see him again. It’s, it’s still quick, but you get a better look at him.

And I, my immediate thought was, I hope that’s a mask, right? Because I need to, because I hope that’s not them trying to do creature effects. ’cause it looks like a cheap rubber mask. And then I was like, no, it makes sense. It would be a mask because that kid. Was into masks or Right. You know, he had that scary mask in the beginning.

I honestly think that, that’s why they don’t show us his face, not because who he is is a mystery. Oh. But just because he’s, he’s a masked guy. Killer. Right. Like, like, you know, we, we know who Michael Myers is too. We just don’t really see his face. That’s true, because there is a, very often 

Todd: there is, as you said earlier, a lot of Halloween reference here with the POV, certain POV shots especially, and the mass killer and whatnot, and the quietness.

He doesn’t talk or anything. They walk around and of course his first idea is to make it. He’s like, man, this would make a great haunted house. So I thought he was gonna go back and propose to his fraternity brothers that they make it into a haunted house. And that doesn’t happen at all, by the way, here, I thought there were some great camera moves and I liked the little fake out moment where she walks in front of a window and the dude is actually, his face is right there.

He, she just doesn’t see it. 

Craig: Mm-hmm. 

Todd: And it, there’s a bit of a cue and it gave me a bit of a jolt. And then she turns around and walks by, and of course he’s not there anymore. And there’s this bit where she cuts herself on a screen door. And so he is like, we need to get you to a doctor. Really. And uh, she walks away and the blood drips down and, and, and the screen door opens and the camera kind of pans down and these hands come down and like pick up the blood on the fingers.

And I don’t know, it was just, it, like this was clever camera work. I was really surprised. And now they’re their fundraising party with what, which must have been a local garage band playing called The Side. And I bet they provided all of the music with words in this movie. And there are a few kids are Dancing Hank’s and they were fine.

Yeah, they were. And, and the music was fine too. I, I don’t know. You said the score was annoying. I, I actually thought it was okay 

Craig: in, in parts, like in the, in that romantic part. It wasn’t all the time, but yeah. I liked this band too. But the, the, the dancing, and we’ve talked about this a million times. It must be so hard to film dancing.

’cause it always looks bad. Yeah, it looks, it looks bad and stupid here. It does. Oh boy. And again, tons of gags. And, and really inconsequential things like Mel has a heart to heart with a friend who tells her, you’ve gotta dump. Kurt and he’ll come running back if you dump him. And guys are turd heads. I heard tarred heads.

Oh, I can’t say it was turd heads. Oh, well that e. Either one could be. Yeah. They’re both dumb. So, and then a creep van pulls up to the house. We know it’s the killer’s creep 

Todd: van. Aren’t there also interesting moments in this movie where you can tell they weren’t taking themselves very seriously? 

Craig: Oh yeah.

No, there were parts where 

Todd: got very jokey. Are you the underage girls, for example? Oh yeah, that bit with Hank and the underage girls. Yeah. And, and also when Mel is talking with her friend Sally, and she’s like, what’s the story with Hank? I mean, you gotta tell me. We’ve been friends for what, seven weeks?

Craig: Just, just casually throwing out Oh, Hank and the underage girls. Yeah. That was funny. I, I feel like I should. Explain that. Yeah, do it. Yeah. Hank’s is the doorman. He’s letting people in and taking the money or whatever, and these girls show up and they, I have no idea how old these girls actually were, but they shoot from their perspective really low up at Hank’s as to make them look really short.

Yeah. And then when they’re shooting behind over Hank’s shoulder, they’re shooting from up high. So they look really small and he’s like, Hey, girls are, are you 18? And they crouch down right in front of him. And I feel like it may even be shot from between his legs. I’m not sure it is. Yeah. Mm-hmm. But they, but they have this like out loud conference.

It’s all very fast. They’re talking over each other like, oh my God, he is never gonna believe us. We’re not gonna get it. And then they pop up. Yes. And he’s like, okay, come on in. Like, that’s, that’s clearly a gag. Ah. Like that, that can’t, that could never happen in real life. So it’s clearly a gag. And I get it.

I, I, I see those attempts at humor. I actually thought that was kind of amusing. I just didn’t think, uh, yeah, there’s a lot of random antics. Yeah. Yeah. Random. And they’re. Hit or miss, and more often than not, miss. 

Todd: Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I mean, you can tell they’re trying and it’s almost just like, it’s like watching your kid do a play at elementary school, you know?

Right. A forever, we’ll give you a clap, right? I mean, we’re like 30 minutes in now and I mean, some stuff has happened, right? So I’m not gonna say. We’re finally getting some action. There has been a little action, but just not enough of it. And this is where it gets kind of reminiscent of Halloween because as you said, the truck pulls up and there’s a killer POV as he approaches the house and Hank answers the door and there is this.

Voiceover. That doesn’t fit at all. It sounds like almost like the local radio guy giving the voiceover of this monster, 

Craig: it’s shot from behind his head and from his perspective. $3. 

Clip: I’m not here to party, man. Don’t close us down. We’re just having a little fundraiser and I want to help. Can you raise a check for 3,700?

There’s an abandoned house outside of town near the lake. Make a great haunted house. 

Craig: Hank responds as he would like, what are you talking about? We can’t go there. It’s abandoned. And um, he’s like, well, here I have the key and you can use the house. And he’s like, he’s like, well, who are you? And this, this exchange was so weird, and he’s like, I’m a Sigma Fi too.

And he is like, oh, well then give me the handshake. And then they’re silent for a while as though we are to believe that below frame they’re doing the handshake and then the weird guy goes. I did it. Right. Right. And Hank’s like, yep. Alright. Hanks like, what? What’s happening? 

Todd: How did this guy know the handshake?

That’s what I wanna know. He was a kid. That’s weird. And then he ran away and now he came back as an adult. Did he pledge Sigma? By at some point. I don’t know. I don’t get it, but I feel like 

Craig: some more stuff happens. The Council of Douche Bags goes and checks out the house, and they’re like, yeah, this is scary and awesome.

My next favorite part was the Elvira Home Makeover. Ugh. That part made me happy. 

Todd: Yes. 

Craig: The musical montage musical well, yes to a great song about a haunted house. Uhhuh. I really enjoyed that a lot, but seriously, I knew as soon as I saw them pulling up with like paint cans and stuff, I’m like, oh my God, they’re gonna do an El I were mistress of the dark house makeover.

It was so 

Todd: good too, ’cause Hank’s just sitting there goes nails. And they’re some person like holds up some nails. Nails. We got a box of nails, paint and one girl’s got a thing of paint and she’s like, paint and most important beer. And then this random muscle, dude, oh my God, without a shirt on, lifts a keg over his shoulder.

I was like, where did this guy come from? He’s certainly not part of the fraternity. And then, so this is like a competitive weightlifter is what he looks like. Right? And then Hanks goes, what more could a guy ask for? And then the voice goes permission

sometimes. I really liked the writing here 

Craig: and that this shot was good too, because Yeah, I feel like the camera speeds through the crowd. I, I don’t remember if the part crowded or, or, or excuse me, the crowd parted. Yeah. It’s like it zooms in. Yeah. And and to reveal that the sheriff is back there. That was actually fairly impressive.

Todd: It was, it was a good moment. I mean, it’s classic movie moment. It was good. And, and the sheriff basically says he is gonna keep an eye on the house and then he doesn’t, he leaves and we don’t see him until the very, very, very, very, very end. I thought he’d be a factor. And he’s not at all. 

Craig: No. And we see him at the very end.

Like he just arrives in his car and then we never see him again. And that’s it. 

Todd: Like 

Craig: he 

Todd: missed it all, but I love it. Then, so you are right. They do this musical montage and like they’re doing not even that zany of things, but anyway, the muscle guy is up there hammering nails and pounds of beer. Actually, it’s kind of a lot of boring stuff happening.

But then there’s a group shot where they all line up and make a big pose to admire what they’ve done. There’s no payoff shot. There’s no shot of the finished house. You 

Craig: just No, but that was, that was Elvira. Exactly. When they all come back, you know, to look at it and, but you’re right. There is no payoff.

But the other thing that bothered me was. This was a haunted house, and it’s like they were trying to make it look nicer. Like, yeah, why are you pulling the boards off the windows? That’s scary. Like, you should be putting up more boards. I think they were just bringing it up to code and, and ultimately later we do see it, you know, at not too far a distance and it looks nice, like, it looks like a big, nice house kind of, I don’t know.

But we’re, we’re finally getting to the good stuff. Like they have a campfire and it’s stupid, and a guy playing guitar who clearly does not know how to play guitar at all. Like he just strums it. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And I don’t know if that’s a joke or they just didn’t have anybody who played guitar, but they sing Freebird and blah, blah, blah.

We see that Mel has moved onto a new guy to make. Her boyfriend jealous and somebody says, let’s tell ghost stories. And the sheriff’s daughter tells them 20 years ago in this very house, a girl was murdered, blah, blah, blah. And my dad, the sheriff thinks it was the boy and maybe he’s still out there. Dun dun.

Yeah. And then, and then a horny couple’s like, let’s go to the lake. Yeah. And I was like, finally. 

Todd: Yeah, you, you missed the, the great dialogue though when the dude played the guitar goes, well, I don’t believe any of it. I mean, 

Clip: I think 

Todd: the girl cut her own 

Clip: head off, right? And now she’s trying to pin the rap on the little boy.

Nobody would cut their own head off. Well, speaking of head,

let’s go 

Todd: swimming,

which gets her hot and that’s when they decide to go to the lake. Yeah. And she strips down and And he says what I was thinking. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: Joanne. This is my favorite part of every movie,

guitar playing. Dude, you got my number. That’s fine. You know exactly where we are, huh? And of course, dude, with the mask, it gets very Friday the 13th here. Yes. Very. That whole, um, campfire scene was very Friday the 13th as well. I mean, it was almost shot for shot. Mm-hmm. And yeah. He, he, you know, just like Friday the 13th, while she’s in the background, stripping down, unbeknownst to her as she’s walking away into the lake, he grabs this dude by the throat, pulls him up the tree and stabs him in the neck.

And I was kind of impressed with this. 

Craig: It looked pretty good. It looked about as, it looked as good as any Friday, the 13th 

Todd: movie. It really did. The early ones at least. Do you know that the guy, one of the guys who did, um, special effects and stuff on this and the makeup things name is Dave Snyder. He went on and moved to Hollywood shortly after this and was in, worked on a ton of things, a ton of stuff, stuff we know, like Species two, hell raise their bloodline.

And the prophecy, the girls dawn of the dead. The re the remake was Zach Snyder. I’m all the. Pirates of the Caribbean. Crazy, right? 

Craig: Yeah. This looks pretty good. I was impressed and a lot of the effects. From this point forward when we finally get to the action. Honestly, if I had only started watching it here, if I had started watching it at the home renovation scene and watched it just from there to the end, I think I would’ve liked it a lot better.

I think that first part, oh yeah. I think the whole first part felt. Boring and I don’t care. And these actors are bad and slow. Once it gets to the action, I actually kind of enjoy it. We’re like 50 minutes in here. Yeah. 

Todd: We’re like 

Craig: a, we’re, we’re two thirds of the way movie by now. Right. The girl you know, is waiting in the lake and the killer comes up behind her and breaks her neck.

Well, I mean, she stripped down to 

Todd: everything but. Her underwear Uhhuh. Her panties. Right. That bothered me. Like if you’re gonna strip down to go in the lake, why do you leave your panties on? I don’t understand. Right now 

Craig: you’re gonna have 

Todd: wet panties 

Craig: that can’t be comfortable. Right? That’s the worst. I guess you could just, I guess you could just go commando.

That would be fine. But anyway, then, okay, so he breaks her neck and didn’t leave her in the lake, carries her away. And I thought, ew. Ugh. I don’t know if I wanna know what. What’s going on there, but ultimately I like what’s going on there because at this point then there’s a montage of, while everybody else is gone the night before the haunted house, the killer messes with their setup and sets up a room of his own and like uses big red paint to.

Paint the kill room or something like that on the outside of it. Mm-hmm. And then we cut to the night, you know, the, the night of the Hy House, and there’s a huge line. Now, I kind of expected that this would just be a fraternity sorority thing, but it’s not at all. In fact, the whole community comes. I don’t remember if I said this already or not, but maybe I did.

But it was just so striking to me. At some point near the end, when things go crazy and everybody’s fleeing, a man runs out with a baby. Somebody took a baby. Are you serious? Yes. You didn’t see that? Didn’t notice that. At the end, when everything goes nuts and people are running out of the house, an adult man runs out with an infant, A human, like, not at all.

Oh my gosh. That’s so funny. A human infant in his hands. Why do you have a baby at this? 

Todd: Well, before it gets to the haunted house, you gotta, you gotta mention our little love triangle issue happening here because Kurt. Ends up confronting Bentley while he’s watching Press Your Luck on tv. Bentley was the guy that Mel was hanging out with to try to get Kurt jealous.

Kurt asked him to back off and I love Bentley’s response. He goes, you know what? You’re right. I wasn’t going to do anything, but now, now I think I’ll bone her. He’s 

Craig: like, 

Todd: I 

Craig: think I’ll bone her. I wrote that down too. It was pretty funny. The delivery was the best part of it. It was great. Oh, it was the best.

It was the best. But cut to the haunted house. Right. And the, and the killer is just waiting inside and, and we see what they’ve done and they’ve actually set up a decent haunted house. Yeah. It looks pretty good. The first room that you walk into is the wall of hands, and they, a voice says, stand against the wall.

And they do. And the guys, you know, reach their hands out and grab people and of course, take advantage and feel girls up and stuff. But then there’s a doctor slasher room, and I don’t remember all that’s going on in there, but I remember he has a flame thrower and I was like, uh. Your insurance provider is not gonna approve that.

Todd: This also reminds me of how sometimes these local haunted houses were, instead of just a thing that you walk through and walk past, there would be, you stop, there’s a scene that plays out in front of you. Mm-hmm. You move to the next room, there’s another scene, and God, I don’t know if. If that’s really done anymore, may maybe like, again, the local ones do it, but, uh, I haven’t been in a haunted house in ages that’s, that’s set up like that, but I remember them.

Mm-hmm. Very specifically. So kind 

Craig: of cool. I mean, it’s, it’s not at all Yeah. A bad and, you know, the, the fraternity guys and their girlfriends, I guess are the actors and they’re doing fine. I mean, it. Silly, but it’s what you would expect of a amateur haunted house. Yeah. And in the doctor slasher one, there’s a nurse and she has to go pee.

So she goes outside and we watch her pee. That was weird. That felt fetishy. Yeah. Why did she squat behind a bench to pee? Uh, don’t they have a bathroom out there somehow? I know it’s in it. Well, I guess it’s an abandoned house. I don’t know. Whatever. Then the killer knocks her out and takes, drags her in through the vents.

Wasn’t sure what was going on here. And then listen. Or I, I’m sure it’s pronounced Liston. ’cause that sounds more like a name. Right? But it’s spelled, listen, he is at the keg and he gets knocked out and dragged inside and then it doesn’t matter. But Bentley invites Mel to his van. He says, I’ll be waiting for you, whatever.

And then this now gets to the part of this movie that I legitimately like, mm, the killer has set up his own room in this haunted house. He’s decorated it. We don’t find this out immediately. Very well. Yeah. He’s decorated it very well, in part with the bodies like his mother’s body, the bodies of the people that he’s killed so far.

But the people that he’s just disabled are knocked out. He’s got set up in like different kind of torture traps. 

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: And when the crowd. Comes in, they think it’s just part of the show and he puts on a show. I loved this part. Yeah, I loved this part. 

Todd: This was awesome. And we’ve talked about this before.

We did it a movie too called Haunt, I think, uh, where this was the same concept, Uhhuh, but we, we’ve talked about this before, how if you’re gonna kill somebody, do it at Halloween. ’cause you can get away with it, probably right in front of people’s faces. 

Craig: Right. 

Todd: And it’s, it’s awesome. The girl is tied up to a chair, right?

And she comes too and he takes the thing off her mouth and she’s like, oh, it’s a rail. It’s not. Act, it’s real. And the crowd’s going, yeah, yeah. Wow, this is so awesome. And then he comes up behind her with a chainsaw. God, I thought he was gonna cut off her head. He just kinda like hacks her neck for a a minute and then, yeah, that was weird.

It flops backward. That was weird actually. That was really poorly done. To be honest, there was like some weird shot from the back of the chainsaw approaching what was obviously a tiny skinny little mannequin neck. And then suddenly there’s a shot from the side and her head’s just back and there’s blood there.

I, I don’t know, 

Craig: it wasn’t great. But then Liston wakes up and again, he’s pleading with the crowd and the crowd’s like, and, and, and the killer who is. Still grabs a baseball bat and the crowd’s like knock his head off and like it’s a whole thing. Like the crowd is so into it and they’re like, man, this is really good.

They’re good actors. And I just loved the setup of it. And, and he does, he messes around and pretends to miss a couple times, but then he knocks list’s head off and it’s clearly a dummy head and I love it. I love that. Yeah. Eighties practical effects. Shit. And it was fun. It was fun. I, I thought it was fantastic.

This is so Halloween, you know? This is reasoning Then, then Bentley’s waiting in his van for Mel and Peewee Herman shows up again and scares him.

Todd: Half propo of nothing. Oh my God, that’s so funny. Uh, he was really, he was like half good as Peewee Herman. It was like, if he had just been a little more He wasn’t bad. No, he wasn’t. But like, he just, just missing that last like 5%. 

Craig: Yeah. I mean, if I met him at a Halloween party, I’d be like, that’s pretty good, bro.

Like, oh yeah, you’d be impressed. Yep. But then Bentley gets dragged away with a noose. Kurt Mel, have another heart to heart and like makeup. And then as though the killer had to have been crouched down just below camera, oh, I love this. And, and, and they’re having this heart to heart and it’s, you know, a shot.

They’re both in profile talking to each other and the killer just pops into frame and knocks their heads together. 

Todd: Yes. I laughed out loud at that. Oh my God, that was funny because also it was funny because of the dialogue that was happening before. It was the worst cheesiest dialogue. You know? I mean, we haven’t had any real chemistry between these two.

Everything has just been very paint by numbers as far as their little scenes and their relationship tension. It’s all been very dumb. And now. Suddenly he runs to her and he’s like, Mel, Mel, I figured some stuff out. I love you. She’s like, I do too. Oh, do you really mean it? And then boom, knocked their heads together.

Oh God, it was so funny. Yeah, 

Craig: the dialogue was terrible. He’s like, I sometimes you just don’t know what you have until you lost it. And she’s like, you never lost me. You always had me. You just didn’t know it. Bang. And then they, and then they get dragged too. Of course. He always had, or what? It’s, it’s been like, what, 24 hours that you guys have Max.

Right, right. So they get dragged inside too. And then there’s a new crowd in the kill room and he is got it set up and he’s in a different mask now. He’s in a werewolf mask. Yeah. And Mel is just duct taped to a wall, and that was great. The killer takes a scalpel and slices her abdomen. Okay, fine.

Recoverable, but then he slices all the way beginning at the base of her hand all the way down her arm. Yeah, with a scalpel and the blood starts coming out. We are to believe later that she is fine and that is ridiculous. She would be dead. Yes. She 

Todd: would’ve bled out of all of this by now. I thought it was clever though, how they had her duct taped to the wall.

What a great way to hide to do the special effects. Yeah, that was smart. Super smart. But, and it was cool. And Kurt’s at the electric chair and he’s like, no, you son up a bitch. And the killer zaps Kurt a couple times, but doesn’t kill him. Bentley, I thought Bentley got hung. He’s got there. You know, Bentley kicks the thing out from under him and he swings until he’s not swinging anymore.

But Hank, I guess these were just sort of fake out moments, right? She should be dead. He should be hung. 

Craig: Oh yeah. He’s been hanging there for a while. He would for sure be dead. 

Todd: Yeah, Hank comes in ’cause he just wanted to check out the haunted house. He got bored running the gate. To see it for what it is.

And he ends up in the room and he goes, this isn’t part of the house. Everybody run and he picks up a blowtorch. 

Craig: He blow torches the chicken wire. It’s not a blowtorch, it’s a flame thrower. Flame thrower. Sorry. Where did they get a flame thrower? 

Todd: Well, we did see it earlier, the doctor, earlier I, we saw 

Craig: it, but, but where did they get it?

Todd: I know. Okay. I know. I thought this was a joke because he uses this on everything. He uses the flame thrower on the chicken wire, which somehow cuts a vertical slit in the chicken wire so he can get in and then he torches the rope in order to set Hank free 

Craig: Bentley. Yeah. 

Todd: A Bentley free. Sorry. Torches the rope and then, oh, he just basically frees everyone.

Yeah. Tears her off the wall and she’s supposedly fine. Basically, everyone in here is actually fine. Uhhuh. I was disappointed in that. And then the killer pops his head up through the vent. He’s been dragging, by the way, I don’t know how he stuffed those bodies down the vent and dragged them in there. But, uh, he pops his head up and Hank torches down the hole and thinks he’s gotten him.

And then Hank stumbles out of the room that he’s been in all of five minutes, like he’s super tired and collapses and, and 

Craig: like cover, like as though he’s been in a burning building, which he’s not like, but he’s covered in like, smoke so and so. Yeah, I don’t get it. And, and nothing happens to him. 

Todd: He was fine.

No. So he spent five minutes freeing these people and now he’s soot covered and exhausted. The killer comes outta the crawl space to very exciting music and stumbles around into some barn or shed. And in the meantime, this is when all the people running out, right, they’re all panicking, is laying in Curtis’s lap on the porch.

Curtis is cradling her. Got her arm straight out with the wound, still completely open going, you’re gonna be fine Mel. You’re gonna be fine. I love you, Curtis. I know. Yes, I know. 

Craig: I’m sorry, I, I just talked over it, but that was so funny to me when. She said, I love you, Kurt. I know, 

Todd: it’s so funny. Oh 

Craig: my God.

Todd: Finally, the sheriff shows up just for the killer to burst outta the bar with the van and drive off past him. Mm-hmm. The killer does stop to puncture the sheriff’s car tire though. And Kurt runs after the van and they do their best to make this look exciting. And actually I was, you know, again for a low budget movie, they didn’t do too bad with this, this van.

Stuff. It bursts out and it knocks over that big sign that we’ve been seeing by the road, and it starts driving down the road. The guy finally takes off his mask and he’s severely burned on one side, but otherwise he looks fairly normal. 

Craig: He’s a handsome guy. 

Todd: Yeah, I was. I was expecting to see something revealing.

I mean, they made a big deal out of it, but it’s just the, 

Craig: the burn makeup looks really good. I mean, in hindsight, and in talking about it for a, a, a relatively amateur production, I think I was just so thrown by the amateur acting that I didn’t. Appreciate other elements of it, but that, that burn makeup looked really good.

And, and you’re right, the, the action effects here. All of the stunt driving, you know, taking out that sign. It, it’s, it’s impressive for what it is really. Yeah. But this next 

part 

Todd: is dumb. Oh, it’s so crazy. The, the van is way down the road. Yeah. And Kurt is standing there at, with a shotgun and he shoots it from God, what is it?

Like a hundred yards at least. Boom. It explodes again. I thought, is this a joke? Are we like, are we supposed to laugh at this? And the whole van bursts into flames and drives off the road where it stops for a minute, but then it starts up again. 

Craig: Yeah, I was, mind you. It explodes. It is engulfed in flame and remains engulfed in flame.

Yeah. And you can see the flames all through it. It is just the frame of this van left. Yes, yes. And like you said, it stops for a second and then it starts back up and drives away. That is, that makes absolutely no sense. 

Todd: It’s so bizarre. Actually. I saw, I skimmed through the, the thing on YouTube, the behind the scenes stuff, and apparently those guys.

Did in fact just rig this van obviously to explode, and they just strapped down the steering wheel so that it would go slightly, right? So it would go off the road and they were just standing there going like, well, we don’t really know where it’s gonna go. We’re just hoping for the best it’s gonna go off the road.

I’m like, you’re gonna let this flaming van just go off the road into the woods forest? Yeah. Which is what they do. Uh, that’s the last shot of the movie. 

Craig: Uh, the, the explosion looks good, but the suggestion that that guy is still alive in there and driving away is ludicrous. Ludicrous. Yeah, it’s pretty, I mean, I, I guess, you know, they’re opening it up for a sequel potentially, but ludicrous.

Sure. And then it just cuts to the end. It ends very abruptly. You know, Kurt standing in the middle of the road, a hundred and some yards away, shoots the thing, it blows up, rolls in the end. Credits. Yep. 

Todd: Fade to Black credits. And then after the credits at the very end coming soon, haunted Ween two. Oh, I didn’t see that.

I didn’t stick around. Oh man. Yeah, there’s a whole haunted Ween theme song over the credits by that. Probably by that same band. And yeah, I don’t think they ever got haunted Ween two out. But yeah, I mean, I just, I found it entertaining. But you’re right, I mean. It’s entertaining because it’s one of those so bad, it’s good movies, but it’s got actually some really good elements in it.

Craig: Yeah. This happens to me fairly regularly. You know, I, I don’t like the movie. I’m not excited about talking about it and then sitting and talking about it and thinking about it. It had some good stuff going on. Yeah. It’s a, it’s not a good movie. It’s a bad movie. But it also doesn’t take itself seriously.

It doesn’t, it doesn’t take itself seriously. I think maybe that’s part of the problem that I had with it. I, I didn’t feel like it was balanced. There are the parts of it that are so ludicrous and, you know, remind me, maybe not to the extent of student bodies, but like, it seems kind of like they’re going for that kind of humor.

It’s kind of few and far between. I think that the stuff between Kurt and Mel, like the romantic or or relationship drama, I think that was meant to be funny. Yeah, I just don’t think it read. No. Yeah, I just don’t think it read right for me. Like I, I didn’t feel the intention, I guess, which is asking a lot of a low budget movie like this, so I shouldn’t be so critical.

And it is Halloween-y and if you haven’t seen it, it’s, you know, it’s all right. There are things to appreciate about it. You could skip the first, what, 45 minutes? Half hour, 45 minutes. ’cause the last, 

Todd: yeah, 

Craig: half hour, 40 minutes. 

Todd: Are fun. Yeah, you’re right. It’s honestly, sadly, you can skip the first 50 minutes.

You know, it’s like you basically need to skip the first two thirds of the movie to get to the really good stuff. But I dunno, maybe I’m just a little biased in, in that I could have seen myself making a movie like this. I get in college. You know, putting some friends together and doing it. And so I always find this charming, just an attempt at doing this, and the massive amount of effort and money that it takes to put it together.

If you come up with something that’s even halfway decent, good for you. Yeah. And if it’s entertaining. Enough. Like that’s what a movie’s supposed to do. You know? It doesn’t have to be polished to be entertaining. And by the end of this, I had a smile on my face and it was a movie. Especially when you watch it around Halloween, I think it hits different than if you were to watch it say in the middle of the summer or something like that.

Sure. ’cause it’s just got that vibe. Yeah. I was glad we watched it and I really enjoyed it for what it was. I’m not mad about it. Good. Because when we started out, I thought you were gonna be a bit mad about it. So No, I’m not mad about it. All right. Yeah, well the, uh, the director didn’t run off to do anything else.

Like I said, just the makeup artist went on to do a million things and it seems to be quite successful in Hollywood. Major big budget productions. And then the gal who played Mel Blade Pickett, uh, this was like her screen debut and she was since, in like 27 other movies. Mostly looks like kind of soft core erotica from the mid nineties and up.

Stuff like Hot Lust and Confessions of a Lap Dancer. Butterscotch how sweet it is, and the exotic house of wax. If you didn’t see enough of her, seems like you, you can see a lot more of her in more ways than one. Mm. By, uh, checking out her, her work from, from 1991 to 1998. Is that the note we’re gonna end on as me talking about, I guess these yield lech?

Fair enough. All right. Well, no, you know what? She was also doing stunts in Ace Ventura Pet Detective in 94, so 

Craig: she was very beautiful. She reminded me of, I think that Patricia Arquette is gorgeous and sexy, but like a more stereotypically sexy Patricia Ark. 

Todd: Yes. 

Craig: Exactly. 

Todd: Well, thank you guys so much for listening.

Happy Halloween to you. Happy Halloween. Yay. We love bringing you our show and our MO movies during this season. If you enjoyed it, please share this with a friend and write us a review online. Wherever you write your review. Go to our website, chainsaw horror.com. Leave us a message. Let us know what you did for Halloween.

Just send some good wishes our way, and we will definitely share them on air. If you click that talk to us, link on our website, you can just record a nineties. Second message that we’ll play. And, uh, we’re, we’re heading into November and it’s pretty soon into December where we’re gonna have some Christmas movies coming up.

So get your requests in now for any of the Christmas horror movies you think we should cover during that month. Until next time, I am Todd. And I’m Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.